I'LL JUST WAIT TILL I............

I'll just wait to write my blog until I change that picture that is so not me anymore. I'll just wait to write because there is just too much to catch up on. Where do I begin? How do I formulate anything really? so much time has gone by and so much has happened and people are wondering, "What happened to Gabriela?"
Gabriela is fine.
Let's start there. I'm OK.
I had a major shift in my work. It was needed. I did not  predict the outcome of my new venture, which went sour for several reasons, so here I am, in the midst of the Universe with myself, my desires, and also, my plain wanting to just rest now. Rest in a simple life that will afford me the luxury to write, to express in all of the ways that I do, and let that take a life of it's own on.

It's funny because since my leaving the farm with my business partner, I have had time to sit back and to listen to what everyone thinks I should be doing, and also, have had time to reflect on what I actually want to do, and  man, it has been like a ping pong match.
This and this and this is what I am good at but is THIS actually what I want to do? Really? Do I want to start an enterprise at 44? Do I want to write books for a living and just work a simple job where there is no thinking involved? Do I expound on my passion for cooking? What is the true passion and what am I willing to do to get to the core of who I am, what I want to express, and how that will look in my everyday life?

I certainly am not the big frills girl. I have been there and done that. It impresses me like dust on my shelves.
I have no impression to make on anyone. I could care less. I am me.
What I do care about is  doing something that will make a difference in some way. I have to share this crazy love that is inside of me or I will bust into a thousand pieces.
I guess there are many ways to do that, but for me, it gets specific, and I know when the opportunity presents itself for me to get out of the way and to just be my little authentic self, opportunities arise where I can help in one way or the other and it infuses me like no other.
I try to stay on my track of beliefs amongst all of the chaos and uncertainty. It isn't easy.

The economy could seem like my worst enemy, but therein lies my ability to test my strengths and willingness to do what I know is right for me, against any kind of odds, to stay true to what I believe to be true and to follow through with what it is that I believe in, not only for my self, but for anyone that might glom onto what I am saying and believe it to ring just as true to their heart as it does mine.

There never seems to be enough positive reinforcement around, especially if you are odd man out, to do, and to accomplish things outside of the norm. I've given in to, "that's OK" mode.

I have been my own cheerleader for my entire life, and actually, it's OK. Sometimes it is a bit daunting, just because no one, ( I don't think), wants to be Superwoman in all of their moments, but for the most  part, it keeps me clear, my thoughts concise, and visions that I have, ready for a formula, ready to be put into action.

I feel like that damn starved writer, starved artist that struggles. How old is that? That starving artist! C'mon artists, let's start a new trend already!
 We don't have to starve you know. We just need to get creative!!
Anyone wanting to start a bandwagon on the "non starving artist" wagon, email me asap, I kid you not!

Anyway, this was supposed to be a short blog, for starters and now look! See what you've done?

You all made me talk and talk and talk.

( hard thing for me to do).

OK, so I will keep you posted.

Life is happening in a big way. Nothing other than the next person, but then again, if I were to get into the details of my life, you would see that there is much going on all around me, with the people involved and it makes for a much better story........... but that would be for a private room with some exotic popcorn and some sexy Mediterranean sea salt, that's for damn sure!

Good night and sweet dreams.

Gabriela