RISK MAY INVOLVE FAILURE.... BUT.....

.... IF YOU DON'T GO OUT ON A LIMB, HOW WILL YOU EVER KNOW?

Actually, I am not a firm believer in the word "Failure".
To me, you try something and if it doesn't work you just go to plan B. I guess you can deem it "failure", but that word always seems to have a negative connotation, and "failing" to me is not a negative, it is just a little punch in the arm that says, "hey, let's do this next time and see if this works", and onward you go to see if  plan B is going to make "IT" happen.
I remember years ago sitting in my jacuzzi sharing a conversation with someone after my Interior Design business went down, and I went from making 6 figures, having 2 BMW'S, building my own home, traveling the world buying, going and doing as I pleased, to scrambling to make my mortgage, and wondering how I was going to keep this all up. The person in the jacuzzi said to me, "Admit it, YOU HAVE FAILED!!! Go ahead, ADMIT THAT YOU FAILED!!!
It was a really wild moment in time for me. I thought, "WHOA, there is some serious gumption behind that statement", and.... interesting that I would have never looked at my situation as a "failure" but a learning experience and to try things differently the next time.

That statement stayed with me for years, and honestly, I felt bad for the person that said that to me, because I knew that they themselves were in the most frantic state, a non believer in making things happen, and someone who was so accustomed to the norm, which is a regular job, with benefits, and everything you can imagine that would make you "safe and sound" in the world.
It isn't a judgement, just an awareness how we are all different, and how one persons way can seem better than the other.
I say, "stick to what feels right in your heart and soul".
It doesn't feel right for me to stick to the status quo. Not because I am trying to be different, but because I always try to find alternate ways to do exactly what I want to do, to stay in love and in line with whatever that vehicle is, and to have fun along the way. It's stressful like anything else, to try to find out what we love and to stay true to it, especially if it doesn't look in line with what "needs" to happen, doesn't offer much "security" or anything on the list of what "looks good and right" in today's world or economy.
It IS a crap shoot, and I say I am not a gambler, but in this sense, I have to be. I always ask myself, "What is the worst case scenario?". What could possibly happen if you venture off to find out if you like this, or don't like that?"
I will never know unless I push the limits on my own belief systems. Lord knows whatever beliefs I have are for sure limited and old school. All OK, but not for me, for the most part.


I don't like to feel imprisoned by ideas!!
I find my way as if I am walking in the dark at night with a flashlight.
I peek around the corners hoping there is nothing lurking there, but nevertheless, I peek! I go, with the flashlight like a brave little soldier, hoping nothing bites me in the a.......sh tray!

We are all the same on this ride.
We are all afraid.
We are all wondering what lurks on the other side.
We all want solid, concrete answers.
We all want something that is tangible, but the truth is, there are no guarantees, not anywhere at any time.
So, how do we maneuver in the world knowing this as a total TRUTH?
Without hiding from ourselves, how do we move, stay at a peaceful calm, knowing all of life's realities, like it or not, and be OK, and to stay true to what we want and love, even if it is outside of what everyone else is doing?
Where is the balance?
I say, "Do what rings true first and foremost, and see where that takes you". Outside of any kind of ideas of what should or should not be, and see how you feel?
You will be surprised at what shows up for you.
You will probably have to separate your own feelings about how you think your life should be going in order to adhere to a higher Truth, but once you get the gist of how trust works, you will reap the benefits of an amazing consciousness.
No such word as FAILURE.
MOVE AHEAD in the direction you know in your heart will work for you, without any obstacles!!!
This way, I support 500%.
Remember, NEVER A FAILURE IN RISK. NEVER A FAILURE........PERIOD!!!
~

TRUE LOVE..AS I SEE IT!

I think we all go through life wondering what this THING IS called TRUE LOVE. In all of my years, since a child, there has been many forms of a true love, from my mother, to my grandmother, to my sister, to friends, and to close people in my life that have given to me without an expectation. So is that it? True love is giving without expectation? What does it all really mean?
I am proud to say that this month I will be 45. WOW!! Look at that "number", as it IS only a number.
I can say that there has been some pretty great "true loves" in my life. I do have to say though, that as I get older, that definition changes, and as I mature, I see that it is NOT about what we GET from someone, but accepting the whole of someone, and RECEIVING that whole, however that shows up, and practicing TRUE LOVE in being able to step away from the self, and to allow humanness, and altercation, and differences, and to be able to be vulnerable enough to take some punches when you don't feel like taking punches.
To be able to listen without interjection, and to be humble enough to let your stuff out, as if it is going to be hung out on a clothes line, not being sure if it will even be hung out to dry. You just know you are putting yourself out there, wet, hanging, and feeling a bit cold and hard.
You wonder if you will dry OK.

True love doesn't always show up as the "coming home with roses on the table" sort of thing, although, that is always lovely to me. Flowers are a sentiment, and dear to me. Maybe it is the old fashioned girl in me who likes to be courted and sent flowers just because. I'm that way, but then again, I am a mushy kinda girl! Who DOESN'T LOVE flowers?

I am learning that just because I am a softy, it doesn't mean that life or situations will always be soft and the way I like them. It isn't that I didn't know that, but when it comes to love, you kinda hope and wish that things will be this way and that way, and hell.............I am in love so it should show up like THIS. It just isn't that way, and it is not a bad thing. I think we all have our ideas of how that should show up, and the whole picture is set, because who doesn't want their perfect fantasy of love to come true?
But when love shows up at your door, and it doesn't show up when you want, and how you want, you start looking at the age old version of how" romantic love should look", and if it is not happening, you wonder, if you are stuck in a time warp and just have grandiose ideas, or that you are just not caught up with the times that encompass all of the daily stresses, the economy, the reality of time and space, and the humanness of where we are all at in our evolution, take that all into consideration, and find the TRUE LOVE within all those REAL LIFE situations and begin a new way of looking at how to love, without a fixed idea of how things should go or not go.
Love is so beautiful to me. Love, TRUE LOVE, does not equal the three times a week MUST that we should have the big O. I mean, seriously, let's get a grip!!! Half the time I hear people say, "Oh yeah, we have it at least 5 times a week", I'm thinkin' ... Oh, go right ahead.....have fun! Hope you had a conversation or two that week.
Oh god, I'm sorry. I am so crazy when it comes to all of this. Kind of like the, "Honey, why don't you wear lace anymore for me", statement. "Because, honey, the honeymoon DOES IN FACT END, and the fact of the matter is, I LOVE WEARING BOXER SHORTS OK?"
I want fun and spontaneity, love and compassion, to be listened to and to listen, to understand and to be understood as much as possible. I know that being understood is almost impossible as we are all eclectic human beings with a mysticism about us and we cannot all be understood, ever. I KNOW THIS. The human mind and soul can never be truly understood. And that is OK. It is that beautiful thing where you just sit back, as if at an art opening, and watch someone, without having to understand their ways, and revel in their eccentricity and not have to know all of the whys and how's but appreciate what is before you.
Maybe I am boiling this all down to TRUE LOVE IS....ALLOWING??
I don't know, I am on this ride like you are reading this.
I write as it flows through my soul.
It's the very thing I love about writing.
No one can tell me if it is right or wrong. It is here, inside of me, I listen, I write, and I allow it all to flow onto these blank pages.
I learn as I go.
So amazingly precious to me, honestly!!
Today, I feel like a baby learning how to love and how to be open, and to allow myself to be vulnerable again.
We all have been hurt before and I am not a believer in allowing our past to dictate our present moments, or future.
I think we have the ability to heal ourselves through prayer and meditation and the willingness to be open time and time again, because not one situation is the same.
I do not want to walk around like a suit of armor, fighting off anything that may seem of "harm" or of a danger to my heart.

I would never want to miss out on any beauty that life has to offer because I have been scorned in the past.
I think life is "scorning" in general, and so if I go by that reality, I will know to love that much more.
People are deserving of our presence. The here and now with them. Not the past that we dredge up, because we are afraid of being hurt again.
"In life honey, we get hurt, that is the reality of it", says my mother before she passed. "It's not a bad thing, it's just the reality of life"." We love, and we get hurt, but NEVER, EVER, STOP LOVING". I live by my mothers words. I listen so intently from a woman who has been hurt over and over again. She NEVER stopped loving ANYONE who had "hurt" her.

So, I never was interested in getting my PH.D, but if there were any subject that I would like to master over, it is that of LOVE.
I always want to be allowing, and loving, and present!!! I want to listen, and listen closely with no interruption.
I want my love to be my only love, and create something so different and bold that, to me, will shatter glass.
Allow people to see the beauty in a TRUE LOVE, that stretches beyond ideas, and beyond the norm.

There is a formula that I keep to myself, and when the moment presents itself, I want to unveil this phenomenon and see if not only myself, but the one who I invite in will cherish the 4th of July the rest of the 364 days that remain.
I giggle at my own revelations, and too, feel charmed by a life that makes me sick, and mad, and all at the same time, utterly grateful for my very existence here.
What a wild, wild ride. That fantastical magic carpet ride beckons me, every last second of my days.
I'll never veer from that ride, for it is the ride of a god damn lifetime!!
Thank you for all of my moments in this wondrous, wondrous life!
Before you know it, it will all be over and I do know for sure, that I would have been grateful!!!
Pissed some people off, but nevertheless, extremely grateful!!!
I love you, as you so well know.
Gabriela

FOOD AS TREATMENT... NOT A DRUG!

This subject is alarming, sad, understandable to a degree, and so complex, that it has driven me to stay up late nights with my night light on, reading and researching, writing my own hypothesis on what it all means.
I do personal training and nutritional consulting for a living.
I am not, by any means, a fad diet girl. Not one person gets the same diet. I mean why?? We are all different, have different body types, different age groups, male to female, oohhh god, I mean the list goes on. It makes me wince to hear of a "regular diet plan" for one person. I mean, in a big way!!! I want to say STOP IT! PLEASE, JUST STOP IT!!
Does anyone take into consideration, the history of an individual? Their particular circumstances, likes, dislikes, allergies, etc...?
I know that many people DO, DO THIS. But I have seen over the years by working with many professional naturopaths, Md's and practictioners, that they get lazy! They use a certain protocol and see that it works and then they use it on everyone, in hopes that it will do some sort of good, AND, make them money to cover the costs of the huge inventory they just bought to supply just a few of their clientele.
This, to me, is alarming, but real, and it happens all over, all of the time.
I want my clients to be able to relate to me, to what I have to share as not only food for the soul, but food for thought, to be able to learn what it is that I may know, and to take it with them, daily, to be able to go to the grocery store without me, to be able to learn how to choose foods, supplements, learn how to read labels, and to be able to discern right from wrong, for their particular bodies, and to feel good walking out, knowing that they will be eating good satisfying foods, that are tailored to their bodies, to their lifestyle and that it will undoubedly keep them on the mark so that when they show up for their regular exam, the doctor shouts out, "Holy Mackeral, WHAT HAVE YOU BEEN DOING?" You look amazing and your charts are off the rictor scale!!!
I don't need any kind of accolades, truly! The proof is in the pudding, and many of my clients can tell you,  the fact that they just listened, and didn't have any say in the equation, was no sweat off of their back, and was actually less stressful because they trusted me, and let me do my thing.
There is nothing I love more than a challenge, and boy, have I been challenged, but nothing is out of my reach or out of my control, yet, that would not let me prove my stance on how I partake in diving into someones body, and what it needs, when and how.

There are some simple structures that I have people adhere to, generally, but then it gets extremely specific.
It sounds so noble, so 2011 that one be Vegan or Vegetarian. OK, it is a fabulous start, but IS THIS FOR EVERYONE?
This is where the detective work comes in.
I DO BELIEVE THAT A DIET BASED IN WHOLE FOODS such as vegetables, fruits and legumes are great, but then add dairy, meat products, and eggs. This is where the line starts to get fragmented and we see that what may be good for the  Goose, may not be good for the Gander.
Mind you, this is just my own tiny philosophy.
I am still a student, learning and discovering, studying, researching and finding my own truths in this hip and oh so age old concept.
It's like someone who can sit for hours doing crossword puzzles. It takes a total concentration. But once you sit long enough you figure it out and see that x equals y and it fits like a glove.
OOOHHHHH, like the last line of a poem. Don't get me started now!!!

I do believe that wherever you are in your evolution, you can instill these basic beliefs so that they can bring you back to a sense of yourself, FOR YOURSELF, so that you do not have to rely on outside forces to help you stay healthy, and to overcome addictions or fears, or the whole list of things that come up for all of us that we all want to go to the nearest shelf and grab some pill that will make it all better.
THOSE THINGS WILL NEVER MAKE IT ALL BETTER!
I can tell you that from experience.
Coming back to a whole foods diet, practicing daily breathing, daily meditation, and regular excersise, is not just a fad or Hollywood way of looking to be fit and trim. It is the stuff that works.

Over the years I have formulated my own program of the how's and what's that work, and if we keep a regular regime of these things, it will constitute great behaviour, amazing gains in your spiritual evolution, and in your daily realm of stress or no stress.
It doesn't really take much, but a consistency of instilling one, to two, or three behaviors that will keep you aligned inside, and be able to deal with the muck out there.

Trim down the fatty foods. Google low fat or vegetarian recipes. Find out what workouts seem interesting to you and make a move. Share this with your kids and family.
Instead of grabbing the remote control, grab your kids hands and lead them to their bikes, and you get on yours. Go for a 30 minute ride and come back and grill some chicken and steam some vegetables.
There is transition with everything so start by having the willingness ok?
Anything further ask me. I can help.
If you are feeling a certain way, ask why?
Let's figure it out, instead of going to Doctor down the road who is just doing what he knows because he has been taught that.
Start taking responsibility for your health and take as much interest as you do in logging on to Facebook everyday. I am sure you will come up with some pretty solid answers.
I will continue to help and to guide us all along.
I promise you that!!

~

NUTHIN LAST FOR LONG.........

So, the Joni Mitchell song goes....... and so this blog goes out to a beautiful soul who was loved by many, who took her life and made the decision that it was her time to go in this lifetime.

From early on I have experienced a lot of suicide, unfortunately!

In the 8th grade my best friends father committed suicide by hanging himself in the house. I went through this experience with her and it completely traumatized she, her mother and her sister. They were to be "watched out for" in the following years. I stayed close and never, ever, could grasp the enormity of what they had gone through. My family stayed with them and I was always stunned, really, at the amount of positivity that they had embraced. Just the amount of bravery that had come with such trauma.

Theresa was my best friend. Her father was her idol. She was left with this to deal with for the rest of her life. Her mother was my mother's best friend. It was a wild, wild experience for me as a teen, and for my mother, as an adult, witnessing such trauma from someone she had loved so much.

I could write stories amongst stories, but to shorten things,  later on in life, as we all aged, and had moved on in our lives, I woke one morning to a phone call from my mother. She was reluctant to tell me the news she had.

My best friend for years and years, decided, later on on life, when everyone thought she was happy and had her first child, that she wanted to exit life in the same fashion that her Daddy decided to go. She hung herself in her garage.
It hit me so hard, like going full force into a brick wall.

The very thing that was so devastating to her as a child, she wound up doing to herself, and to her family.

I write this tonight, not only being reminded of Theresa, my dear beloved friend, who I spent so many gorgeous times with, happy and sad, but to a friend of my friend, who just recently took her life.

Many people have judgements on these individuals. I DO NOT!
I understand the complexities of the mind, how it can trip you up, and also, if you do not do what is necessary to nip things in the bud, how it will seem that life is unmanageable!
I almost feel as if my words are inadequate, for I really have no reference point in this area, to ever want to take my life with all of the chaos that has entered into my world.

I have purposefully put myself in that situation, as a visual, to be able to understand the extreme mindset of those individuals, and I can tell you honestly, I GET IT, but have always found refuge in my "God", or whatever it is that saves me daily, from a mindset that is so destructive.

I will not say, for myself, that this life is easy. I WILL NOT! But for some reason, with all of my frailties, and my misfortunes, I have found a greater sense of something. I don't even need to label it really. It's a blessing beyond my comprehension, that is all I know!

I  have been blessed with something that has worked in my favor.

This blog is for Angela. May she rest in a peace that is coming to her.

For some reason, she was in enough pain and wanted a way out. Bless her heart now and always.

Please do not judge these individuals who have made certain decisions.

It does not make them "bad  people, or souls".

Let it teach us about courage, about fear, and how we can overcome any obstacles, how faith is our best friend, and that in times of complete despair, we can reach out and cry for help, and you WILL GET IT!!

Please, although you do not know this soul, say a prayer for her, that she makes it to a comfort zone, somehow, wherever that may be, and that she will be loved, no matter what, and taken to the next level of her understanding here on this ever so gracious earth we live on.

May I never complain, or worry about the petty things that come my way.

I know in my heart of hearts, that I have been given the key to life, and to NOT adhere to those simple things will lead my mind to the same destruction.

It is up to me to participate in a healthy life that allows me to see my crap, to make a move in the direction of clearing it out, and to taking responsibility for what needs to happen next.

We live in a completely luxurious world.

Don't settle for the dark night of the soul!

There is so much more.

Sweet prayers for those who have chosen differently. I embrace you all and give you love like nobodies business.

I am an open vessel.

You are loved.

Goodnight.
Gabriela