Wake up. Brush your teeth. Take a shower. Make coffee. Feed the animals. Turn on the news, or not, go for a walk, go to work, toil, toil, toil. eat lunch.... toil, toil, toil.... the hour hits. We are "free". Drive home. Anticipating what is next. Get home. Toil, toil, toil. Make dinner, clean up, watch the news, visit with a friend, do laundry, get ready for the next day... toil, toil..... until.........
brush your teeth, look at yourself..... wonder for a second, if THIS is REALLY ......IT!!!
Toil, toil... crawl into bed.....maybe read.....maybe not........ dream...... or not......... toss and turn......... who knows really...... it changes from time to time, doesn't it?
Who REALLY knows what the next moment, hour, day, or week will bring???
Life is fickle. It really is. It's nature is to be fickle. I can't change it, so I have to swing with it.
It's like someone who is moody. You can't change it, but find ways in which to swing with it.
In today's world, if you cannot get creative in your outlook on life, and things, I think you will either be consciously dead, or you will die of anxiety or a heart attack, acting as if you are surprised at life, and what it offers, much to your dismay, and be the one who has been stricken with something.
Please don't misread my writings.
Some things happen and are out of our hands. I get that. I honestly do. I do think though, that we have a huge responsibility in our evolvement and healing. Not many of us are privy to this, or even have any kind of resource to connect to. When we have an issue or when we are ill, we fret and head immediately to the doctor.
I don't find it often that when one finds out a certain piece of information, that they head straight for their meditation chair, to take personal inventory on what may or may not be happening for them, or in their tiny little nuclease of a world. I think it is an immediate fight or flight situation. Understandable!
There is another way, I promise you that!
God, it is so difficult to say that there are things that will help us along without making it sound like there is one way, and one way only. I do not believe in that.
I believe in self discovery, and however that shows up for you, wonderful. If it feels right and conducive, than yeahhh, cool. Another outlet and piece to the puzzle on your journey in this little intricate life.
Self discovery is different for everyone.
I don't care if you are in this program or that program, the list certainly goes on. Atheist, pagan, christian, Buddhist, non believer, this that or the other thing. I DO NOT JUDGE YOU. I have been across the board.
We are all trying to get to the same place. If you want to do a thousand hail Mary's, go ahead...... if you want to chant the word of God, please do...... if you want to let the whisper of the wind guide you, bless your heart..... whatever it is........... if it brings you peace of heart and mind....... there you go!!!!
That is for you, and I am there.
I realized this as I was in the ICU unit with my mother, as it was her last days.
She couldn't move really. Lucky we got her to a chair when my sister and the woman who came to do communion and prayer sat there to receive.
It was a blazing moment for me in my own evolution.
I was there for my mom, and knowing she wanted this for her, and so did my sister.
I have had my own spiritual beliefs for many years. It was never really talked about.
I sat there and watched the woman say her prayers to my mother and my sister, give them communion, and then she looked at me, and waited to see what I wanted to do. I quietly said thank you, and acknowledged her being, her way, and her way in which she imparted beauty and reality into my sister and my mother.
I realized in that moment that it was OK to have a different belief system, but to send healing and love and forgiveness and so many other words that would take me all night to describe,to my mother, that would equal, to me, the same message, the same prayer, and the same healing properties as if I had held those beads, and said the same prayer that was shared while I was quiet.
It was a definite moment in time in my life, as an adult woman, a daughter, a disciple of life, and as a sister/friend who had shared a lifetime of wonders and contemplations.
There it was. A stopping!
A real, true, STOPPING.
Had I never stopped before?
Had I always been this sort of robot in my life where things come up and you just quickly deal with them to get past the emotion and once you hurdled over that, you were good, until the next situation presented itself?
It has been 4 years since my mother has passed and I don't think I have digested the enormity of the teachings. The magnitude of love, of how to surrender to the present moments in my life. To be able to consciously make a cut off point from insanity to an insane kind of reality where you embrace the obscure, the indefinite, and make it all a part of a reality that IS REAL, and is part of what is happening, and make good with it all.
IT IS IMPERATIVE that you take time for yourself. Time to reflect, time to get a grip on where you are, and with whom, and to make good where good needs to be met.
Life is seductive!!
It WILL entrance you!
I know we are all human, in all of our frailties, and god bless us all, really... on this crazy trek, but know one thing. If we act honestly, give freely, with no expectations, and risk everything for a free way of living and thinking, we will be given everything.
It may not show up how you wish it to show up, but I will guarantee you that if you step your little toe out there with somewhat of a trust, you will be hit hard with a reality that is so honestly amazing that you WILL NOT KNOW what to do with it.
It is more unspoken, than spoken.
I am completely humbled.
My life is exquisite beyond belief!
I don't care where I work or for who.
The details are just a funny summary of what I am doing here.
It surely has nothing to do with who I am!
I love you all so much and thank you for listening to me ramble on about what I think is most important.
It may not mean a lick to you and that, to me, would honestly be OK.
Goodnight.
Gabriela
No comments:
Post a Comment