WELCOME TO YOUR LIFE.. THERE'S NO TURNING BACK!

I'm not really the person that "regrets" things from the past because given the good, bad and the ugly, I have learned incredible lessons and have transformed myself in ways that I would have never imagined. Not by trying, by any means, but by trial and error. Messing up, making "wrong" decisions", and I put that in quotes because I am human. I learn from my past but I never really think in terms of making "bad, or wrong decisions". It's my call in moments, and I am a human learning the tricks and the trade of this world. No one is perfect. This I know, and too, I am not looking to be some perfect person. In fact, to me, "the game is not about becoming "somebody", it's about becoming"nobody".

I have been tremendously humbled by my own life, what transpires, and how everyday, I feel like I am looking through a microscope at a life, as if it is not my own, and feeling propelled and perplexed at the same time. 

I walk as if there was a strobe light hanging over top of me. 

I want to be so awake and aware, and still, still.......... am captivated by the mystery of it all. 

The reasons behind everything. 

There is not one moment in my day that I don't question why I am calling certain things in, or not calling certain things in. I'm not OCD in the least. I have always questioned my existence and the happenings in my world. I know I will never understand it all psychologically, but what comforts me is the unknown and how it speaks to me and calms me. THIS, I cannot articulate to you. It is just a knowing, and it is what keeps me sane, and real in a world that makes no sense to me for a myriad of reasons.

A friend emailed me from Tuscany today. What she described as her experience there, and too, knowing what we love and are drawn to, completely shook me. 

I'm not even sure I can describe in words what this all means, but when I read what she wrote, I cried.

I truly have lived a BIG life. Adventurous, risky, open, edgy, willing and humbled. 

I crave nothing but simplicity.

My life isn't always simple, but on my trek I try to accomplish my desires. Let it be having a farm with beautiful animals, or simply doing what I am doing now, writing, with crickets in the back round, the moon shining through the window, and classical music playing. That's pretty simple and beautiful to me.

My friend described her time in Tuscany as if was my perfect love making. 

I cannot describe in words. If she would allow me to quote her, I would in a split second but she is shy with her expressions and dare me to quote that sacredness. 

I know for me that in my life now, it is chiseled down to the very basics and it makes me smile and  I feel so whole inside. 

I have my stuff just like everyone, but my meditation, my animals and my devotion to love supersede anything. It's what keeps things in line, real, and palpable. My friends and lovers know my heart and know that these things are why they love this little soul called "Gabriela".

There's no turning back. 

It's been quite the ride here. 

Of course, it's not over but I don't know that for sure. 

My time could be up tomorrow. I really don't know. 

I am present with my breath, with people, with my animals, and nature.............NATURE, what you have given this soul will never be able to described with words.

I thank meditation for allowing me not to have to describe every last thing that I experience, and that is BIG for this little person who needs to express herself in all ways. 

I am so damned humbled by life, my circumstances and the love that shows up in my world.

Thank you to all of the people in my world who make it special and worth waking up to greet my day with all that it offers. I love you so much and am so grateful for you in my world! ~