as a conduit.
Please don't make me anything other.
I smile and give you joy because I can,
and because
it just
IS.
Please don't mold me
into something
that you want
me
to be.
I am merely
a conduit
of love.
Not to sound
esoteric
but to bring
things
to
a
reality.
I bring joy
because
I feel
joy.
I bring happiness
because
I feel
happiness.
It is that simple.
It is nothing
other.
No rhyme or
reason.
Simply
a love
and joy
for life
and for
people.
Being
genuine
is
a
passion.
If that is
my
worst
"fault"
imprison me!
~
Sunday, March 27, 2011
Tuesday, March 22, 2011
SIMPLICITY
I am genuinly happy.
I love waking up these days... ecstatic to go to work.
I LOVE what I do.
My days are conducive and peaceful.
When I get ino work classical music awaits me. Hello?
I have a beautiful puppy that awaits me, so sincere and loving.
I make and eat extremely conscious food. I share that with others. They are affected.
I feed and get to spend time with the most amazing animals. There is an unspoken language that is happening that is beyond comprehension.
The cycle of life is before me.
I am in it.
I am consciously deciding to live very specifically, and it does not have to be to anyone else's liking.
It is mine.
Colorful in it's way.
Risky.
Yet True!
There is a higher plan.
No one needs to know,
not even me.
It is happening all on it's own.
I'm just along for the ride.
Thank you for this amazing opportunity to participate in a life that only comes once 'roun!
I bow with great gratitude!
~
I love waking up these days... ecstatic to go to work.
I LOVE what I do.
My days are conducive and peaceful.
When I get ino work classical music awaits me. Hello?
I have a beautiful puppy that awaits me, so sincere and loving.
I make and eat extremely conscious food. I share that with others. They are affected.
I feed and get to spend time with the most amazing animals. There is an unspoken language that is happening that is beyond comprehension.
The cycle of life is before me.
I am in it.
I am consciously deciding to live very specifically, and it does not have to be to anyone else's liking.
It is mine.
Colorful in it's way.
Risky.
Yet True!
There is a higher plan.
No one needs to know,
not even me.
It is happening all on it's own.
I'm just along for the ride.
Thank you for this amazing opportunity to participate in a life that only comes once 'roun!
I bow with great gratitude!
~
Monday, March 14, 2011
THERE IS NO PLACE TO GO, NO PLACE TO BE
If we are immersed in the NOW, in the present moment, there would be no place to go, or no place to be. It would just simply BE!
Our days are so revealing, so to make some kind of blanket statement about our "future" is almost ludicrous!
It doesn't feel good to try to stay in the present moment because it X's out all of the variables, but in all honesty, the present moment brings to light the true reality of what is happening out there, or here, however you want to look at it.
It actually can give you a sort of relief, or reprieve from having to "do and go, and be" in the ways that we think we "should" or "shouldn't".
People get literally freaked out when you say you don't actually HAVE TO, have a plan, or visualize some "place to be".
I say go on ahead! Plan what you think you want. Just don't be attached to it!
Sometimes life hands you a better hand of cards than you were actually dealt.
By all means, look at the hand that you were dealt, but look to see what slips in through the back door.
I say look at all options but don't be stuck on ONE.
Be open to the option that isn't on your "chalkboard".
It generally is the one that will take you where you need to go.
I feel so humbled tonight.
My life is glorious, for lack of some extravagant word.
I am happy to be of service to people, to make some people smile, and to make "nothing" out of what seems to be "something" in my everyday life.
I don't want anything but to be immersed in godliness, in true purity and goodness.
However that shows up, I will follow.
Anything else will be a bore, and I will tire quickly.
Stay awake.
I am open!
I am utterly grateful!
Thank you!
~
Our days are so revealing, so to make some kind of blanket statement about our "future" is almost ludicrous!
It doesn't feel good to try to stay in the present moment because it X's out all of the variables, but in all honesty, the present moment brings to light the true reality of what is happening out there, or here, however you want to look at it.
It actually can give you a sort of relief, or reprieve from having to "do and go, and be" in the ways that we think we "should" or "shouldn't".
People get literally freaked out when you say you don't actually HAVE TO, have a plan, or visualize some "place to be".
I say go on ahead! Plan what you think you want. Just don't be attached to it!
Sometimes life hands you a better hand of cards than you were actually dealt.
By all means, look at the hand that you were dealt, but look to see what slips in through the back door.
I say look at all options but don't be stuck on ONE.
Be open to the option that isn't on your "chalkboard".
It generally is the one that will take you where you need to go.
I feel so humbled tonight.
My life is glorious, for lack of some extravagant word.
I am happy to be of service to people, to make some people smile, and to make "nothing" out of what seems to be "something" in my everyday life.
I don't want anything but to be immersed in godliness, in true purity and goodness.
However that shows up, I will follow.
Anything else will be a bore, and I will tire quickly.
Stay awake.
I am open!
I am utterly grateful!
Thank you!
~
Saturday, March 12, 2011
Wednesday, March 9, 2011
IT DOESN'T ALWAYS HAVE TO BE SO LONG....
......and this I must learn.
I have so very little time away from work and my responsabilites, that when I think of what that time "should" consist of, it never seems to be wanting to talk on the phone, engaging in any kind of conversation, or engaging, period.
But, life has it that we have to in one way or the other.
I am one that likes to balance the noise with the calm.
Thankfully, these days, my work life is extremely conducive, and therefore, the aftermath of that can actually be spent talking or engaging to some degree.
My last job never allowed that, and, I did it anyway. What did it do? It depleted me completely, leaving me dry and empty.
It left me with no hours to be alone, really, or any time to merge with the inner, to be able to express outwardly, wether it be my blog, or to a lover, the things that were important, or necessary to get off my chest, or just to share regular ol' life with, you know, silly stuff, passionate stuff, just daily life unfolding, and being able to objectify it, write the bare bones down, and call it a night.
I have a new job that I absolutely adore.
I begin my day with feeding doves, and goats, and chickens. I walk into a place that is quiet. I hear classical music walking in. I see and feel nature. It is conducive. Everywhere I look there is a shred of consciousness that reeks of growth, of learning, of a simple heart that has and is setting out to make a change for the betterment of human kind.
This......... I LOVE!
The days are short, for now, and maybe forever, but my time is always going to be spent contemplating life, and love and how to better ourselves, or the planet or our little environment to where it is of complete service, in every way.
People need to be payed attention to, without any conditions.
It is so lovely to be able to BE with people with nothing, NOTHING TO WANT OR NEED.
Just to be with them. To listen. To not have any kind of agenda, and to listen to them. Let them talk about their kids, their lives, their every, every, every, thing, and not have one judgement.
How beautiful to just.....................LISTEN........ with a very open heart.
I have to say that leaving my previous job has felt somewhat like a mother leaving a large nest.
To look back would only hinder the growth and not support it.
The babies must fly.
Well, I started out saying that it doesn't always have to be so long when we don't really have the time, but want to do "it" anyway.
Make that the phone or the text or the email, we do it anyway.
The point is... I want to write. I want to write all night long until I fall asleep at my computer, drained from thought, but know, the next morning, that I wrote until I just couldn't anymore.
This.....is passion.
Usually within a passion of any type of art, we bypass the what if's, the should's, the woulda coulda's, and all of that.
I hate a clock. I don't like to clock watch.
When you are passionate about something you "should" never watch a clock, but unfortunately, life comes into play and we have to gauge things, like sleep and what not............. IT'S CRAZY!
Sometimes I get crazy with.......who freakin' cares............. I will only live this life once.......or...........Holy Cripe........... I am no good with less than 8 or 7 hours of sleep.
I am opting for the balance tonight.
I want to write till the goats come home, but have 4 dogs and an ailing cat to tend to.........dishes piling up, and a consciousness that awaits me at my bed side, to sit, even for just a few moments, to read something, or feel something that will support my soul and it's intention in this life.
Even if it is for a moment before these eyes close, I will have known that I did my best, at the end of the day, to come full cirlcle, with my knowing, my growth, and too, my shortcomings. To bring it all together, with no judegements, or guilts, or any other thing that would seem less than the utter Truth.
I am here. Just being me, sharing my love, my Truth, and vulnerabilities in life, that set me asail, into a fine, fine existence that keeps it all real for me. Keeps me in line with a "god" that I have fallen deeply in love with.
A "God" that continuously calls me back to a simple and fine existence, that equals only love, only service to people, to human kind that needs a tender touch, or a tender heart to eleviate some sort of pain that is happening.
This could be with a brother, or sister, or colleague, or............ some random Third World Country person that has stolen your heart......who knows!
It is all ONE IN THE SAME!
NONE OF US ARE DIFFERENT!
WE ARE ALL
ONE
IN
THE
SAME!
~
I have so very little time away from work and my responsabilites, that when I think of what that time "should" consist of, it never seems to be wanting to talk on the phone, engaging in any kind of conversation, or engaging, period.
But, life has it that we have to in one way or the other.
I am one that likes to balance the noise with the calm.
Thankfully, these days, my work life is extremely conducive, and therefore, the aftermath of that can actually be spent talking or engaging to some degree.
My last job never allowed that, and, I did it anyway. What did it do? It depleted me completely, leaving me dry and empty.
It left me with no hours to be alone, really, or any time to merge with the inner, to be able to express outwardly, wether it be my blog, or to a lover, the things that were important, or necessary to get off my chest, or just to share regular ol' life with, you know, silly stuff, passionate stuff, just daily life unfolding, and being able to objectify it, write the bare bones down, and call it a night.
I have a new job that I absolutely adore.
I begin my day with feeding doves, and goats, and chickens. I walk into a place that is quiet. I hear classical music walking in. I see and feel nature. It is conducive. Everywhere I look there is a shred of consciousness that reeks of growth, of learning, of a simple heart that has and is setting out to make a change for the betterment of human kind.
This......... I LOVE!
The days are short, for now, and maybe forever, but my time is always going to be spent contemplating life, and love and how to better ourselves, or the planet or our little environment to where it is of complete service, in every way.
People need to be payed attention to, without any conditions.
It is so lovely to be able to BE with people with nothing, NOTHING TO WANT OR NEED.
Just to be with them. To listen. To not have any kind of agenda, and to listen to them. Let them talk about their kids, their lives, their every, every, every, thing, and not have one judgement.
How beautiful to just.....................LISTEN........ with a very open heart.
I have to say that leaving my previous job has felt somewhat like a mother leaving a large nest.
To look back would only hinder the growth and not support it.
The babies must fly.
Well, I started out saying that it doesn't always have to be so long when we don't really have the time, but want to do "it" anyway.
Make that the phone or the text or the email, we do it anyway.
The point is... I want to write. I want to write all night long until I fall asleep at my computer, drained from thought, but know, the next morning, that I wrote until I just couldn't anymore.
This.....is passion.
Usually within a passion of any type of art, we bypass the what if's, the should's, the woulda coulda's, and all of that.
I hate a clock. I don't like to clock watch.
When you are passionate about something you "should" never watch a clock, but unfortunately, life comes into play and we have to gauge things, like sleep and what not............. IT'S CRAZY!
Sometimes I get crazy with.......who freakin' cares............. I will only live this life once.......or...........Holy Cripe........... I am no good with less than 8 or 7 hours of sleep.
I am opting for the balance tonight.
I want to write till the goats come home, but have 4 dogs and an ailing cat to tend to.........dishes piling up, and a consciousness that awaits me at my bed side, to sit, even for just a few moments, to read something, or feel something that will support my soul and it's intention in this life.
Even if it is for a moment before these eyes close, I will have known that I did my best, at the end of the day, to come full cirlcle, with my knowing, my growth, and too, my shortcomings. To bring it all together, with no judegements, or guilts, or any other thing that would seem less than the utter Truth.
I am here. Just being me, sharing my love, my Truth, and vulnerabilities in life, that set me asail, into a fine, fine existence that keeps it all real for me. Keeps me in line with a "god" that I have fallen deeply in love with.
A "God" that continuously calls me back to a simple and fine existence, that equals only love, only service to people, to human kind that needs a tender touch, or a tender heart to eleviate some sort of pain that is happening.
This could be with a brother, or sister, or colleague, or............ some random Third World Country person that has stolen your heart......who knows!
It is all ONE IN THE SAME!
NONE OF US ARE DIFFERENT!
WE ARE ALL
ONE
IN
THE
SAME!
~
Monday, March 7, 2011
TRANSITIONS
Man oh, man oh, man!!! Life really does bring along some change. I think change is healthy, and keeps us current on who we are, what we are about, and how we are going to stay present day in our lives, our decisions and how we will make that happen in our daily lives.......you know, stuff that is going to be pretty close to our core, what we are made up of, and how that will show in our world.
I just made a bold move and left a company I have been with for four years.
I am still grieving the process. The people, the connections, the friends, the "family".
I have made so many beautiful connections. People that not only respond to a warm heart and good food, but people that respond to a higher consciousness. People that are responding to something that they have no idea why?? Wondering why they are so attracted??
It is not me, by any means, but the love that I have encountered in this life. Something that has become my "drug" of choice.
It is not me really, just an outer expression of a love that is experienced inside. People don't get that too often. It makes me sad.
I have had the luxury to explore and experience love in the most exquisite ways.
It is contagious, whether it be through conversation, a workout program, a diet plan, or planting trees in your yard........there is always an excuse to share love, give love in the highest of ways.
I love the fact that I have been able to make a decision to change jobs, knowing that I am moving from something "comfortable" to something that is closer to who I am and gives me life!
It doesn't mean though, that the transition will be easy. Although I had a wonderful day at my new job, there was a serious grieving.
I have met the most wonderful people, have made the most incredible connections, and have been able to pull up a chair to listen to the lives, the stories, the love, the heartaches, the regular every day lives that happen, and....... been able to lend an ear over pasta and meatballs. A glass of wine! Or an espresso.
It is not a small thing!
At least to me!
I was brought up that way.
Not only was I brought up that way, I was brought up to greet you all at the door, to take your coat, and hand you food, drink or whatever it was to make you feel comfortable, as soon as possible so there was no room to make you feel less that wanted, or needed, or payed attention to.
That is my schooling!
My mother was good like that. Not only good. She truly excelled in being there for people.
As long as she felt she was giving, and helping, she was satisfied.
There I am!
It's only been a few days.
I have mixed emotions, but I know they will sort themselves out.
I absolutely love my new road. It is learning, and doing and being the very things that will shape my future. Things I will feel comfortable and confident with, knowing that I will be able to pass this conscious information on to others, to be able to give in a way that is not selfish, but aware, globally, spiritually, and locally.
I feel super humbled tonight, I really do!
My day has been full with so much I can hardly stand it.
I need to rest. Take in what life is offering me and to empty my cup so that come tomorrow morning when the chickens are calling me, I can absorb what really is being said, and move on within my day, knowing that I truly WAS clued in, and trekking upon my day in that reality, and giggling. Truly giggling at the absurdity of it all.
The talk, the thoughts, the actions................all of it!
At some point we just have to stop and silently look at it all, and know, instantaneously, that it is God "tripping us up", trying to see just where we are at, and just how serious we are all taking this to begin with.
I got it! I got it! I swear!
I just get tired sometimes, just like everyone else!
Touche' to living! To experiencing, and for feeling every last emotion that this body could ever possibly experience~
I love you all beyond words, beyond any kind of expression.
Thank you for your presence in my life!
I am ever so grateful!
~
I just made a bold move and left a company I have been with for four years.
I am still grieving the process. The people, the connections, the friends, the "family".
I have made so many beautiful connections. People that not only respond to a warm heart and good food, but people that respond to a higher consciousness. People that are responding to something that they have no idea why?? Wondering why they are so attracted??
It is not me, by any means, but the love that I have encountered in this life. Something that has become my "drug" of choice.
It is not me really, just an outer expression of a love that is experienced inside. People don't get that too often. It makes me sad.
I have had the luxury to explore and experience love in the most exquisite ways.
It is contagious, whether it be through conversation, a workout program, a diet plan, or planting trees in your yard........there is always an excuse to share love, give love in the highest of ways.
I love the fact that I have been able to make a decision to change jobs, knowing that I am moving from something "comfortable" to something that is closer to who I am and gives me life!
It doesn't mean though, that the transition will be easy. Although I had a wonderful day at my new job, there was a serious grieving.
I have met the most wonderful people, have made the most incredible connections, and have been able to pull up a chair to listen to the lives, the stories, the love, the heartaches, the regular every day lives that happen, and....... been able to lend an ear over pasta and meatballs. A glass of wine! Or an espresso.
It is not a small thing!
At least to me!
I was brought up that way.
Not only was I brought up that way, I was brought up to greet you all at the door, to take your coat, and hand you food, drink or whatever it was to make you feel comfortable, as soon as possible so there was no room to make you feel less that wanted, or needed, or payed attention to.
That is my schooling!
My mother was good like that. Not only good. She truly excelled in being there for people.
As long as she felt she was giving, and helping, she was satisfied.
There I am!
It's only been a few days.
I have mixed emotions, but I know they will sort themselves out.
I absolutely love my new road. It is learning, and doing and being the very things that will shape my future. Things I will feel comfortable and confident with, knowing that I will be able to pass this conscious information on to others, to be able to give in a way that is not selfish, but aware, globally, spiritually, and locally.
I feel super humbled tonight, I really do!
My day has been full with so much I can hardly stand it.
I need to rest. Take in what life is offering me and to empty my cup so that come tomorrow morning when the chickens are calling me, I can absorb what really is being said, and move on within my day, knowing that I truly WAS clued in, and trekking upon my day in that reality, and giggling. Truly giggling at the absurdity of it all.
The talk, the thoughts, the actions................all of it!
At some point we just have to stop and silently look at it all, and know, instantaneously, that it is God "tripping us up", trying to see just where we are at, and just how serious we are all taking this to begin with.
I got it! I got it! I swear!
I just get tired sometimes, just like everyone else!
Touche' to living! To experiencing, and for feeling every last emotion that this body could ever possibly experience~
I love you all beyond words, beyond any kind of expression.
Thank you for your presence in my life!
I am ever so grateful!
~
Sunday, March 6, 2011
Saturday, March 5, 2011
NEVER ENOUGH TIME!
It seems as if there is never enough time to do the things we REALLY want to do, and yet, as my days go on, I keep making risky decisions to make sure that ISN'T my reality.
For me? I need to stay true to exactly what I want!
I know there are always going to be obstacles. Situations that will tell me time and time again that "That isn't going to happen because of this or that".
Bull!
Anything! Anything can happen if we want it to!
Those aren't spiritual words or fun words to play with because they seem "correct".
It IS A REALITY.
A specific way of thinking and............BEING............. a way that, when focused upon, will take you to major freakin heights!
Don't laugh!
That is just my way of expressing because I can.
The bottom line is........
We can do whatever the heck we want...........when we want. We just have to see it through, at least in our minds eye first.
It's so funny cuz most of the things we want are so simple and easily attainable, but with our everyday lives, and how we interpret that, it seems like a huge pie in the sky thing, to actually grab a hold of a dream or two.
Lie! Lie! And huge ..................LIE!
It really is just plotting things out in our mind first. Then figuring a plan, no matter how big or small. Just have some sort of plan, and write down the bare bones of what it would take to actually do that very thing.
Who cares how big or small it may be?
No matter. It can be achieved! I mean, why not????
Life is moving very fast. Right before our eyes.
Why are we procrastinating on small matters? Small things?
It's OK to think about it for a second or two, but really?! Life is happening. Our reason, our purpose is calling us to make some sort of sense of this life. Make some sort of sense of WHY?
What will we have to say come that time?
Do we really have a solid answer?
I dunno... for you!
What do you think?
I know for me!!
I'm cool with that!
Are you?
~
For me? I need to stay true to exactly what I want!
I know there are always going to be obstacles. Situations that will tell me time and time again that "That isn't going to happen because of this or that".
Bull!
Anything! Anything can happen if we want it to!
Those aren't spiritual words or fun words to play with because they seem "correct".
It IS A REALITY.
A specific way of thinking and............BEING............. a way that, when focused upon, will take you to major freakin heights!
Don't laugh!
That is just my way of expressing because I can.
The bottom line is........
We can do whatever the heck we want...........when we want. We just have to see it through, at least in our minds eye first.
It's so funny cuz most of the things we want are so simple and easily attainable, but with our everyday lives, and how we interpret that, it seems like a huge pie in the sky thing, to actually grab a hold of a dream or two.
Lie! Lie! And huge ..................LIE!
It really is just plotting things out in our mind first. Then figuring a plan, no matter how big or small. Just have some sort of plan, and write down the bare bones of what it would take to actually do that very thing.
Who cares how big or small it may be?
No matter. It can be achieved! I mean, why not????
Life is moving very fast. Right before our eyes.
Why are we procrastinating on small matters? Small things?
It's OK to think about it for a second or two, but really?! Life is happening. Our reason, our purpose is calling us to make some sort of sense of this life. Make some sort of sense of WHY?
What will we have to say come that time?
Do we really have a solid answer?
I dunno... for you!
What do you think?
I know for me!!
I'm cool with that!
Are you?
~
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