IT DOESN'T ALWAYS HAVE TO BE SO LONG....

......and this I must learn.

I have so very little time away from work and my responsabilites, that when I think of what that time "should" consist of, it never seems to be wanting to talk on the phone, engaging in any kind of conversation, or engaging, period.

But, life has it that we have to in one way or the other.

I am one that likes to balance the noise with the calm.

Thankfully, these days, my work life is extremely conducive, and therefore, the aftermath of that can actually be spent talking or engaging to some degree.

My last job never allowed that, and, I did it anyway. What did it do? It depleted me completely, leaving me dry and empty.

It left me with no hours to be alone, really, or any time to merge with the inner, to be able to express outwardly, wether it be my blog, or to a lover, the things that were important, or necessary to get off my chest, or just to share regular ol' life with, you know, silly stuff, passionate stuff, just daily life unfolding, and being able to objectify it, write the bare bones down, and call it a night.

I have a new job that I absolutely adore.

I begin my day with feeding doves, and goats, and chickens. I walk into a place that is quiet. I hear classical music walking in. I see and feel nature. It is conducive. Everywhere I look there is a shred of consciousness that reeks of growth, of learning, of a simple heart that has and is setting out to make a change for the betterment of human kind.

This......... I LOVE!

The days are short, for now, and maybe forever, but my time is always going to be spent contemplating life, and love and how to better ourselves, or the planet or our little environment to where it is of complete service, in every way.

People need to be payed attention to, without any conditions.

It is so lovely to be able to BE with people with nothing, NOTHING TO WANT OR NEED.

Just to be with them. To listen. To not have any kind of agenda, and to listen to them. Let them talk about their kids, their lives, their every, every, every, thing, and not have one judgement.

How beautiful to just.....................LISTEN........ with a very open heart.

I have to say that leaving my previous job has felt somewhat like a mother leaving a large nest.

To look back would only hinder the growth and not support it.

The babies must fly.

Well, I started out saying that it doesn't always have to be so long when we don't really have the time, but want to do "it" anyway.

Make that the phone or the text or the email, we do it anyway.

The point is... I want to write. I want to write all night long until I fall asleep at my computer, drained from thought, but know, the next morning, that I wrote until I just couldn't anymore.

This.....is passion.

Usually within a passion of any type of art, we bypass the what if's, the should's, the woulda coulda's, and all of that.

I hate a clock. I don't like to clock watch.

When you are passionate about something you "should" never watch a clock, but unfortunately, life comes into play and we have to gauge things, like sleep and what not............. IT'S CRAZY!

Sometimes I get crazy with.......who freakin' cares............. I will only live this life once.......or...........Holy Cripe........... I am no good with less than 8 or 7 hours of sleep.

I am opting for the balance tonight.

I want to write till the goats come home, but have 4 dogs and an ailing cat to tend to.........dishes piling up, and a consciousness that awaits me at my bed side, to sit, even for just a few moments, to read something, or feel something that will support my soul and it's intention in this life.

Even if it is for a moment before these eyes close, I will have known that I did my best, at the end of the day, to come full cirlcle, with my knowing, my growth, and too, my shortcomings.  To bring it all together, with no judegements, or guilts, or any other thing that would seem less than the utter Truth.

I am here. Just being me, sharing my love, my Truth, and vulnerabilities in life, that set me asail, into a fine, fine existence that keeps it all real for me. Keeps me in line with a "god" that I have fallen deeply in love with.
A "God" that continuously calls me back to a simple and fine existence, that equals only love, only service to people, to human kind that  needs a tender touch, or a tender heart to eleviate some sort of pain that is happening.

This could be with a brother, or sister, or colleague, or............ some random Third World Country person that has stolen your heart......who  knows!

It is all ONE IN THE SAME!

NONE OF US ARE DIFFERENT!

WE ARE ALL

ONE

IN

THE

SAME!

~