REVELING IN MY MOMENTS

Well since I am in transition with moving I decided awhile back that I wasn't going to plant anything until I got to my new home. I packed up all of my plants and herbs and dismantled all of my gardens.
Everyday that I go out into the yard it feels like a huge void.
No plants, no herbs, no vegetables.
I felt so sad, and too, miss going out to clip off some herbs to cook with and miss snagging a few veggies to make the night's dinner.
It's a mad love affair with these simple things.
So I decided well, you know how it goes with moving and building..... there is never an exact move in date, as much as you plan on it, there are always little snaffu's here and there.
So, back go the veggie gardens. In go the herbs, and in goes the thought that worse case scenario, I transplant everything if need be, but in the mean time, things are happening and growing, and back goes the excitement of a child running out the door to see what is popping up and what I can do to nurture all of these babies.
What exactly IS growing on your farm right now Gabriela?
Funny you should ask.
I was just taking inventory.
Hmmmmm....... well..........
For starters.....
Watermelon, Squash, Zucchini, Cucumbers, Poblano Peppers, Habenero Peppers, Rainbow Swiss Chard, Turnips, Romaine Lettuce, Radishes, Tomatoes of all kinds, Oregano, Parsley, Cilantro, Peppermint, Spearmint, Thyme, Sage, Rosemary......... did I forget anything?

That is just for these next few weeks. A myriad of things will be in the ground in two weeks, getting ready for our spring menu's of wonderful food.

I recently got four goats and am in the process of studying how to make goat cheese and milk.
I am so excited and cannot wait to be able to have people learn how this beautiful process works, and to also be able to have hands on with me, to volunteer and to take classes with me as well.

With the weather as it has been it's been so hard to get things prepared for everyone and the move, but now that the weather is about to neutralize a bit, fencing needs to be put up for goats, chickens, ducks, doggies, kitties, piggies, turkeys, quail, doves, parakeets, and more eclectic birds coming.

I will be sending notices out as to when we will have volunteer parties to help get things going quicker. I will provide wonderful home cooked food for all who are willing to help, and assure you a great time with lots of fun and good laughs.

The kitchen is "on fire" tonight with so many good smells.
Stuffed Jalapenos with Cheddar Cheese wrapped in Turkey Bacon. Also, some stuffed with Toffuti for the dairy free peeps. Acorn squash with a 5 grain herbed stuffing. Pineapple, Mango, Habenero Grilled Chicken, Quinoa Salad with Roasted Garlic, honey glazed carrots, asparagus, kale,zucchini and fresh herbs and a Hawaiian fruit salad.

It's pretty darn quiet and everyone seems content here. Diego, ( my parakeet) has settled down after flirting with numerous birds outside the window, the piggies are content after our dinner routine, popcorn treats, and nightly massages, the dogs have had massages and a little steak bone, Honker and Vita had Mrs, Baird's bread and Organic lettuce, the doves were happy that Yellow Kitty didn't eat them and that they got their fair ration of scratch seed, and last but not least, all of my beautiful feral kitties were fed and loved on. I laugh at myself to see how little dishes of food are all over the property because some just won't come up onto the deck. They all  have their amazing personalities and they know my call, or my song when I want them to come and eat. It is precious beyond belief.
I do thank god that no one can really hear me.
I'm dancing and singing and cooing and doing all sorts of things to relax these animals, to make them feel safe and that they can trust me.
I love this dance.
I love this dance more than anything you can imagine.

A simple Sunday.
Pretty glorious!

~

Gettin' down to Nothin'.

The name of the game these days, for me is getting real simple. Not just simple outwardly, but simple inwardly as well.
It's refreshing and also a little bit scary.
I've lived my life large, in many aspects, and my heart has always been simple, but not everything has been in sync with the word simple on the outside.
I find myself saying quite often that I am old school, and in my heart of hearts I am.
I like things like, family night, whether you have children, animals, or are alone. This night, to me, encompasses no TV, no phones, no noise, just you and the kids, or nature and silence.
Sumptuous food on the stove. Doing nothing or just paying attention to the kids. Filling  your cup.
Getting into the garden, tilling the soil, preparing new beds, getting excited about what next months veggies are going to go into the ground. Thinking about what food you are going to make with those veggies and then how you can share it! THAT'S the name of the game for me. Sharing all of this!
It is a day that is not involved with going and doing but just BEING. Emptying the brain and allowing new thoughts to come in, new ideas, and to just let your soul relax into a natural groove.

Every day of the week I am connected to the computer in some way. My IPhone, driving, working, selling, talking, moving, maneuvering in the world to make things happen.
I think I owe it to myself to take a "vacation" from the brain and from life on the outside, to do the things that fill me on the inside. Usually what that means for me is to just not talk, to drown myself in nature and my animals, garden, cook, and to do just everyday normal things but there is no noise.
It gives me such an OOMPH and a recharge for what needs to happen in all areas of my life.

I now have my 5 piggies, two dogs, geese, ducks, doves and as of recent, about 20 feral cats whom I have adopted as my own and jump out of bed, and or rush home to greet them as if it were Christmas morning.

My farm is about to grow in the next few months as I will have more land and will be able to house everyone comfortably.

Turkeys, goats, chickens, ducks, geese and sheep. After all, Turkey Eggs are scrump- delicious, the dogs love them too! Duck eggs...... doggie food and great for baking.......... organic chicken eggs for breakfast and for the animals......... goats milk and cheese...... and what more could you want than to make your own clothes from the wool of a sheep, I mean, c'mon. ONE STOP SHOP!

Then you have the garden.........the herbs, veggies, fruits........... and Gabriela's cooking?
Forget about it!

There is a bigger picture here, but as I am "spoon feeding" myself, I am spoon feeding you with all of my thoughts and ideas about living a simple, sustainable life for you and your family.

Stay tuned for more info on my farm, what is happening, the animals, the food that is brewing, and what is in store for YOU!

Also please stay tuned for other links to music, special sites that will inform you on what is happening in our food industry and current information on our animals and what is REALLY happening.

So much information is out there but sometimes I think with smaller avenues like this blog, it is easier to digest for some people because it isn't so intrusive.

I'm not about the fancy wording or selling of anything, just simple in wanting to spread the word about how we can cut to the chase on being simple, getting down to basics, creating a sustainable living environment, helping one another and helping to save some beautiful animals that deserve to live a full life just like you and I.

For tonight.......... I am just catching up with you and wanting to stay connected.

There are many beautiful things about to happen, so stay with me. If you all have any questions or any information to share, I would love to hear from you. You can either reply to these posts or email me a gabbyrubino@gmail.com

Thank you for supporting me and my animals for so many years.

We love and appreciate you all!!!

Gabriela and The Farm

A BLESSED AND ADVENTUROUS RIDE

It is so hard to encapsulize the enormity of a year longs experience in a place and time.
I find it difficult to articulate my time here in Georgetown.
From the moment I met E, it was a past life reoccurring for one reason or another.
I can actually name quite a few, and it is no little thing.
I know this blog will probably seem somewhat ambiguous, because it is too much detail to name.
I know and have felt very strongly in my life that things happen for a reason, but that sentence almost seems trite. Almost esoteric in a way, but not really.
I don't want to be concerned about the "reader" and how my words will be interpreted.
I merely am expressing myself, as usual, unedited, and not caring too much about how it is read.
I was in a situation that led me to move instantly.
I am not good with battling.
I like fair play, and if it is not fair play, I scramble.
My mind does not do good with games.
Long story short, my life came to a cornerstone where I had to scramble, with less than nothing.
I had a friend who I delivered food to a few days a week that I just adored.
I told her of my situation and she genuinely gave me some good advice and sent me to her dear friend who she thought could be of help to me.
From that moment on, I have felt like God had sent me angels. Not just one but several, and for different reasons.
I mean, god was showering me in ways that baffled me, yet my soul understood and recognized the enormity of grace. The Grace that I know in my heart as a sheer gift.
I  had been given this, in more ways than I could count at the time, but as I sit here today, and everyday, really, I look around, at EVERYTHING and realize how grateful I am for so many different things and will never take anything for granted.
This could, and probably will be, a book. Too much for one blog, so I will catch  you up.
I just felt compelled tonight to write about a fascinating, and beautiful journey that I have been on for the past year, and to recognize the amazing "characters" that have entered into my life and how I feel indebted to them for their graciousness,their humbleness, and their willingness to believe in my honest soul.
I honestly will never forget these kindred spirits for the rest of my life.
This is no small undertaking.
People don't have to trust.
And quite honestly, they don't have to give if they don't want to, but yet..............THEY DID!
I am humbled beyond belief in so many ways and my night is all about gratitude.
I sit here in my living room and look around in wonderment. Detail for detail.
I could never be sitting comfortable, and safe, and in such a land of wonderment, if it weren't for a few precious souls that believed in my heart and allowed me to rest in their beloved space.
I feel honored and blessed and so many things that I have yet to articulate.
Thank you to the Source that continuously feeds this soul and allows me to give back to all that serves me.
I am in sheer gratitude for my life and for every moment that I am breathing and alive in GOD.
Thank you for my life.
~

STILLNESS

When I am around chaos, or life situations, or just daily life that takes me to a place of unrest, I have to reel myself in. I do that in a way that I know is good for me to stay balanced and settled and in a solid foundation that will allow me to cope with anything that is thrown my way.
I realize everyone has their own way, and no one way is THE WAY.
For me though, in general, I need quiet, quiet, quiet.
From the time I wake up, my mind is already telling me if I need to be depressed, excited, angry, anxiety ridden........ you name it. It is right there to tell me that my day should not be settled because of this that or the other thing. It takes everything for me to sit up to ward off unwanted negative thoughts that want to make their way in.
I have devoted my life  to changing that tune.
My life has dwindled down to a very few simple things that make me happy and what I know to work for me in this crazy little life.
Things aren't easy. We get dealt things that we aren't prepared for, that we have to deal with no matter what. Our bodies do a dance that we don't recognize and we have to act accordingly. Life situations come at us out of the blue and we wonder, how on earth will we ever deal with these things?
Are we truly equipped for this sort of thing?
I would not have said that years ago when my mother was passing.
I thought that was the end of my world and that I didn't have it in me to deal with whatever my body was taking on in result of her illness/death.
I went through it, came out of it, and still, 6 years later, am digesting that time, formulating my thoughts, my existence with her, my brothers and sisters, and my whole entire up bringing for that matter.
If you are any kind of a thinker, this will come upon you. Things need to be sorted out.
It is a bitter sweet ride, one that I have embraced and have loved, actually.
Throughout this time, and as a young child, it all remains the same. I devote my life to understanding my existence here and with all who are in my life.
My parents are another story, and a story WILL BE told.
I have been taught grand things. Too much for a blog. May I save it for the long awaited book that my mother so wanted from me before she passed.
Life is painful. That is just a reality I have come to embrace.
My mother said to me when she passed, "Honey, this is no easy ride". Be brave!
I get it more and more everyday.
The key for me is STILLNESS.
If I cannot hear beyond the noise, than life is watered down to an idea.
A mere thought of what is supposed to be.
I am so very grateful for my moments.
The daily moments that are kept sacred, and away from the chaos of the world, the "norm", and what is "supposed to be".
There IS a voice inside.
When I give myself that time, that solitude, no question arises. It just is, and I feel complete.~

WE DON'T REALLY KNOW........DO WE?

For a long time I have lived my life as if the next moment could change and I wouldn't know from one moment to the next what would happen.
I STILL live my life this way.
It is my solid reality and so that dictates how I maneuver in the world.
I have my own solid "plans" on how I would like for things to look, but I know damn well that as soon as those words are let off of my tongue, that "it" is subject to change.
I wake up knowing that it is a great possibility that leaving the house........ "I WILL GET A FLAT TIRE", no matter how that shows up. It could be that my phone dies, or that I truly DO get a flat tire, or my friend is in need when my schedule is booked. You know, you have all of your plans and your day is scheduled, yet life happens and you either acquiesce or you fight life and feel miserable along the way.
Things lately seem to be showing the impermanence of our existence.
Friends and family are either passing or going through major medical situations and this IS IT!
We have had our time here, and have done what we wanted, but the "tail end" for some of us is facing us in the mirror and it can be an altering state, at least for me it is.
I look at my childhood, my teens, my early 20's and on, and see the picture, what I have chosen and how it is all being played out, and I am finding myself at a stand still.
It is mind boggling how we get this ONE life.
We don't get it as kids, yet my awareness as a kid and teen were too evolved for my liking. I knew too much for my age, wisdom wise, and found it extremely difficult to just "be". I felt like an old woman, looking back on her life. Very difficult to explain.
Everyday, I do realize that my time could be up.
I am not afraid to say so.
I have lived a very full life, with no regrets.
I'm not saying that times weren't hard or difficult, but they molded me, transformed me, and taught me things. Simple as that.
My goal is to always try to help, but in that is a very complex way of living.
Taking responsibility for WHY.
No matter what it looks like, my life is cut out to serve. In what capacity, well......... I can say, people, animals, kids.......... feed the hungry......... I don't know........... everyday is a surprise to me. If I am able to do something for someone it brightens my heart, my soul. I feel this bubbling sensation from my gut. It's so organic, I can barely stand it.
I have so many passions, so many goals, but if it were all to end tomorrow, I truly would know that I gave my heart to the things that I thought were important. I guess if I missed something it would find me and I would be able to finish "it" at some point and time, whether here now, or next time.
The fact of the matter is......... I DO NOT KNOW................. when my little time is up.
I have been graced with a pretty stellar existence.
If I were to spell that out now I'd be in tears.
My simple life has been amazing, so telling, and wow, so grandiose!
I know everyone has their own story, and I love hearing those stories.
When I think of mine, I smile, I cry, I contemplate, and know in my heart that this is just my own personal journey, and I take what I can from it and learn, and grow and look at life as the best possible teaching there could be!
I don't know. There has been a big learning curve this past year and it has catapulted me into a different arena. I'm still making sense of it and sharing along the way.
Stay with me and share as you will.
Just sharing a slice of my life with you.
~

THE GRASS ISN'T REALLY GREENER...... IT'S NOT!

If you are thinking that your life will be better ONCE.......this or that happens, you are sadly mistaken. I guess that makes me opinionated. Yes, I guess so! But I have always believed it to be true.

Well, not really. For a long time I believed that if I made X amount of money, it would make me happy. 

Well X came, and it satisfied the little girl who grew up poor and wanted "things". Well, I got the beautiful custom built home, the booming business, the BMW sports car and SUV. Traveling around the world, clothes like I had never had, buying my friends whatever they needed, or wanted, giving to my favorite charities, and doing some amazing work personally that I could never trade for the world.

Well, I got to that other side that I thought would finally keep me at peace. 

It worried me even more that I would not be able to maintain that income. To be able to manifest things like I did, and lose everything I worked so hard for. 

Well, that time finally came. 

I lost that income, my cars, my house and everything I had worked, blood, sweat and tears for.

My world changed and my perspective had to change in a big way.

It was super humbling, and to this day, still is!

I stay alone for the most part. 

I have alot on my plate, and I do not complain. I just realize what I have created and am trying to adjust, neutralize, and balance and mold my life to the way I really want to see it. 

I'm always a work in progress.

I truly am not looking to be a millionaire, it's really not appealing to me, nor do I want to be struggling everyday to pay my bills.

I have my own personal goals, and they are simple, pretty humble and do-able. 

I am trying to live in the moment with WHAT IS, rather than fighting reality. 

I have had to get pretty specific with my life and my time and how it is spent,

for spiritual reasons, for sanity purposes, and to let the "voice" from within reveal itself to me.

I cannot have too much noise at all. Really, I cannot hear myself, or any other words of wisdom coming through with a bunch of music, noise and chatter. I've dwindled down my talk time, my time in general with people and things. It works for me and my lifestyle, and how that makes or breaks my days.

I'm learning to be good and HAPPY with whatever IS. If somehow I left this plane tomorrow, I would feel in my heart that I lived every day of my life in happiness. I have my animals and my spiritual connection that has kept me in line and in LOVE. But that is my daily choice. To be happy with WHAT IS rather than waiting until that perfect moment when I am on the beach, or in another city, or making more money or, this or that. 

My life is not perfect, but in all of it's imperfections, I am so in love.

I'm grateful for my breath, for the ability to love, to give, to receive, to help friends, to accept help, to love on my animals and make them top priority because they are, and to know that I always have room to learn and grow. I learn something everyday in how I can change and be better, how to love more, and be less of "myself". 

I feel so utterly grateful for my life and what it consists of in this moment, not wanting anything more, or anything less. Enjoying my moments.......my tiny, tiny, moments that make my life so worthwhile.

Thank you for everyone who is in my life that makes it so special and allows me to give AND to receive, in the most glorious ways.

~

PONY UP

It seems that the name of the game is looking at all of our stuff, whether it be bills, work, responsibilities, deadlines, taking care of the house, the animals, eating healthy, taking care of our bodies, keeping up with friends, making sure you are not absent, but present with their world, instead of being so consumed with our world.
It is a balance from hell!
I don't really mean that like it sounds, but I know for me, from the moment I wake up, it is my responsibility to CONNECT before I even get out of bed, to make sure my mind set is in tact, to deal with what is ahead for the day. I never know, really, what that will look like.
I do know that there is a lot on my plate, like so many others, and all of us are finding our way to make it work, to smile along the way, amongst it all, and to make it good in our heads and in our hearts.
It's different for all of us.
I know so many friends who are not waiting for that"perfect" time, when all is paid, all is in perfect order, to be happy.
I know, and feel fine to say that my life is not in perfect order. I have bills, I'd like to make more money to pay off my debt, I would like to buy presents for my friends. I LOVE buying fun things for friends because I can and want to. That is a huge fun thing for me. It's like going to the Jersey Shore and playing Skeeball. ( I am a winner at skeeball) and getting a huge stuffed animal because you kicked ass at skeeball.
Kinda.
Yes, I love to give gifts because people have been good to me. If I don't have the means, then I cook. I give food because I can and want to. I'm Italian hello?
I feel like I am playing Russian Roulette these days with my life.
Trying to zone in on what I really want, how my animals will be safe, and how, at this time in my life, things can get just a bit more simple, but not compromising myself or my passions.
It's like a puzzle.
I always say, "think outside of the box" because things aren't so readily available like we would like.
I have to be so creative with my goals, my desires and everything else that is in my life, with the situation at hand, for the moment.
It's not easy, but my solace is this..............
THE MOMENT.
Every single moment reveals my next moment.
I can plan all I want but life throws curve balls that I have got to be prepared for.
Plan A may not work and even plan B could falter, so I have to be on my toes.
It's just me here and I don't really have time to miss a beat.
It is a huge responsibility but one I am willing 100% to work with to stay at a peace and a calm.
I watch myself.
I have figured out routines for each and every situation that occurs, whether it be a dog fight to SURPRISE SURPRISE 5 little piggies, to this that and the other thing living on a farm and just living life.........regular life.
I like my routine, and my animals respond to routine.
I think of my Mom, yet again.
Nothing was perfect, by all means, but there was a routine.There was LOVE, and there was a willingness to see things through.
That's all, really.
The moments will reveal what needs to happen next.
I pony up to my responsibilities and want to stay clean and honest on my journey.
I do believe in Karma.
You get what you give.
More to that, but for another blog.
I am grateful for my decisions, the ability to have freedom of choice, and to be able to have the consciousness to change again and again.
I never want to stop growing.
I feel extremely humble tonight.
I wish I could convey this to my momma.
She would partake, so graciously, in this conversation.
I think maybe she can hear, or see......still not sure how I feel about that.
What I do know is that my heart... my deep, deep heart continues to perplex me and soothe me at the same time. It is the Mystery that I am so drawn to and continuously trying to find ways understand it all.
It will more than likely be my mission in life.
I don't think I will ever be satisfied.
My work continues................................ ~