THE GRASS ISN'T REALLY GREENER...... IT'S NOT!

If you are thinking that your life will be better ONCE.......this or that happens, you are sadly mistaken. I guess that makes me opinionated. Yes, I guess so! But I have always believed it to be true.

Well, not really. For a long time I believed that if I made X amount of money, it would make me happy. 

Well X came, and it satisfied the little girl who grew up poor and wanted "things". Well, I got the beautiful custom built home, the booming business, the BMW sports car and SUV. Traveling around the world, clothes like I had never had, buying my friends whatever they needed, or wanted, giving to my favorite charities, and doing some amazing work personally that I could never trade for the world.

Well, I got to that other side that I thought would finally keep me at peace. 

It worried me even more that I would not be able to maintain that income. To be able to manifest things like I did, and lose everything I worked so hard for. 

Well, that time finally came. 

I lost that income, my cars, my house and everything I had worked, blood, sweat and tears for.

My world changed and my perspective had to change in a big way.

It was super humbling, and to this day, still is!

I stay alone for the most part. 

I have alot on my plate, and I do not complain. I just realize what I have created and am trying to adjust, neutralize, and balance and mold my life to the way I really want to see it. 

I'm always a work in progress.

I truly am not looking to be a millionaire, it's really not appealing to me, nor do I want to be struggling everyday to pay my bills.

I have my own personal goals, and they are simple, pretty humble and do-able. 

I am trying to live in the moment with WHAT IS, rather than fighting reality. 

I have had to get pretty specific with my life and my time and how it is spent,

for spiritual reasons, for sanity purposes, and to let the "voice" from within reveal itself to me.

I cannot have too much noise at all. Really, I cannot hear myself, or any other words of wisdom coming through with a bunch of music, noise and chatter. I've dwindled down my talk time, my time in general with people and things. It works for me and my lifestyle, and how that makes or breaks my days.

I'm learning to be good and HAPPY with whatever IS. If somehow I left this plane tomorrow, I would feel in my heart that I lived every day of my life in happiness. I have my animals and my spiritual connection that has kept me in line and in LOVE. But that is my daily choice. To be happy with WHAT IS rather than waiting until that perfect moment when I am on the beach, or in another city, or making more money or, this or that. 

My life is not perfect, but in all of it's imperfections, I am so in love.

I'm grateful for my breath, for the ability to love, to give, to receive, to help friends, to accept help, to love on my animals and make them top priority because they are, and to know that I always have room to learn and grow. I learn something everyday in how I can change and be better, how to love more, and be less of "myself". 

I feel so utterly grateful for my life and what it consists of in this moment, not wanting anything more, or anything less. Enjoying my moments.......my tiny, tiny, moments that make my life so worthwhile.

Thank you for everyone who is in my life that makes it so special and allows me to give AND to receive, in the most glorious ways.

~