DEVOTIONAL PRACTICE

I don't know where this blog will take me tonight. I knew that I needed to sit and write, and as always, there are a million things to write about, so little time, and every once in awhile I glance over at the clock and say, "Shit..... it's late, I can't write tonight.......".

There are always so many things to do, to accomplish, dogs to attend to and such.....

I'm not obsessed with having things done in a timely manner, yet, I do love to be productive, and don't have an investment in checking things off on my to do list, at least I hope not after years and years of condensing my should and shouldn'ts into a big trash can that I set on fire, to set ablaze ideas that just don't need to be with me any longer.

I am in a major state of awe tonight for so many reasons.

I found a gift in my box at work tonight. It was a CD from a friend. A Christmas gift. So surprising and lovely.
I took it home with me tonight and have been listening to it since I  have gotten home.
I love the fact that listening to this music brings me closer to my friend, but not only that, connects me to her soul, the one that I knew was ablaze when we met. The CD also has reminded me of who I am, what I love, and the tenderness of Truth. How incredibly pure it all is and how it is THE MOST IMPORTANT THING in my life. It IS MY LIFE!

It is very rare that I go out of  my way to spend time with people. I get enough of people at work , which is such a blessing for me in so many gorgeous ways, but at the end of the night, I cradle the moments that I will be home, with my animals, in silence........no noise, no hustle...........just simple......simple.......simple!

I have an extremely private life, and when I do venture out to spend time with people, it is going to be because you equal special in my life.
That may sound fa fi fa, as my sister and I call it. I am not pompous in any way shape or form, just very specific with my time, who, what, and where's.........
I don't have a lot of time and so I want my spare time to be laden with goods.......pure goods that will sustain my energy and elevate people.

I know what that equates for me. It's a pretty simple formula, yet it is potent beyond belief.

I have been experiencing so many things that almost have no words to describe the enormity of it all.

It is a huge disappointment for the writer in me who NEEDS to find the right words to express this crazy, crazy love that I am experiencing, but not for the soul who just GETS IT and is fine with WHAT IS!

I have come to realize, more and more, how my devotional practice dictates my moments, my hours, my days, my every, every, every thing.

It affects my decisions, my relationships, my "plans" for where I might be headed.......I mean really, there are a ton of things.

There are things that come at us from all directions, pulling us to go one way or the other.

I find that when I am connected to who I am inside, and am OK with letting ideas go, not glomming onto them, that I soar to heights that baffle the sh...........outa me!

Right now, I cannot seem to articulate what it truly is that I am experiencing, and it IS a lot.

Remnants of my past make me learn and grow and keep me current on so many things.

Then you meet the person that you have missing all of this time, and you wonder how God can be so darn gracious!

How will it all be orchestrated?

Again, I close my eyes........

It is none of my business!

I don't want to know, to be honest.

The glory of my days are reveling in the moment and letting life unfold in all of it's glory.

I completely trust this process. So much so that I have to take several "God" breaks to check in with myself to see if I have actually gone to heaven, or if it is actually "heaven" that I am living in............modern day........ serious........... seizing my moments so much so that God is  using me in the biggest of ways, to live out this life in the most conducive and genuine ways.

He is bringing me the people, revealing the places, and at the same time, tickling me to death, reminding me of how fleeting this all is!

How it will all be gone in a flash.

I have a responsibility to myself.

That responsibility is to stay true to myself.

In staying true to myself, I bring about change.

I bring a fierce consciousness to the table that needs to be gulped up.

I need quiet to digest what it is that I need to be doing in order to make that consciousness come to life, and to make it a reality.

I don't sneeze at any of my visions.

They are real, thought out, and  precise.

I am a warrior that will fight for what I believe in.

There is so much to be done..........

I rest in the knowing that I am one that will accomplish the things that need to be done in order to promote happiness, growth, change, and transformation.

How that will show up for me is always a surprise, and too, a luxury.

I bow in sheer gratitude for the allowance to live in a life that is so free.

How lucky am I to be able to write this blog, so freely....... to say whatever it is that I want and send it out into the ether's..... my own thoughts........ unedited............with no expectations............just a free love............. sharing it's grandeur............

I'm overwhelmed, to say the least.

Thank you, thank you, thank you, for this life.............for my very existence...........for being born into such a complex world that has challenged me enough to question so many things, to keep me alive, so very much alive........

never stale.....I swear.......

God is so good to me!

I court my God ..............

I forever court my God........

I will forever open his door, send him flowers, write him poetry, swing him around, dancing freely.............

My smile is will always be big.......... greeting him with open arms.......... sharing my tender heart.......

because

I love............ really............... just love..........period!

It is the one thing that I can be sure of.............for myself............

that my love will never run dry............

it is an oasis.........

and so  unexplainable

that I must just finish this sentence

and go..........

I never want to water down this love.

~

GOING THROUGH THE EMOTIONS.....

BUT....

Being objective!

It is hard these days to find a spot where we can actually sit back in a recliner and touch the remote, to our own lives, to be able to watch from an objective place, and to be able to view things as they are, which to me, is a movie.

It takes a diligence, and a willingness to want to know something beyond what seems to be.

My life is changing at a rapid rate, yet, when I really look at it, it is moving in succession with what has been asked for, by me, and as long as I keep up to snuff, and am honest with what it is that I have asked for, and acknowledge the gifts in what is presented, I will be sailing on a huge boat of happiness.

There are so many details in my life right now, so many significant signs, so many gifts from God that I want to sit for hours upon  hours to tell you, in all of it's glory, how it is changing me, and strengthening my core, and opening me up to places that are devoid of ideas. Did I say devoid of ideas??? I think so. Can I say that again........DEVOID OF IDEAS!

Today I found myself saying that, "Even my own reality is blowing me away".

I don't usually say that about my life. I am so used to it being very eclectic in it's way, and somehow find myself giggling at the absurdity of it all, but these days, I'm goin" , "Holy Crap".......WTF.........

Situations and events present themselves and I find myself listening deeply to the intuition that I most love, and trust implicitly.

It's so wild how I have come so acute and privy to the workings of my inner world.

It really isn't anything that complex. It is ever changing and if I don't stay abreast it will take me on a ride to hell, and I will be that typical American that says, "Why me?". I ain't going for that stuff.......I'm sorry!!!!

Take responsibility. I have to take responsibility for my feelings, my emotions, my reactions and know that it has nothing to do with anyone else but myself. If I dare blame anyone else, I am setting myself up for some fierce disappointment.

I had a long day today. I was off, but had to get up for a court appointment, which turned out incredible, in my favor........that is always good..........

and then I came home and started doing all of the things I love to do, and honestly felt like I had a piece of heaven sliced for me and put on a silver platter.

I had a million and one thoughts and I said to myself, "When I write my blog, I will spill the beans". But really it has to come when the time is ripe. There is so much to convey and being rushed or with little time just doesn't make it for a good story, or at least, enough to be present to the point I like to tell a true, good love laden story.

I will have to catch you up little by little.

I feel as if my life has changed 200%. All good, and rewarding to say the least.

I am in love, without a doubt.

How's that for a one liner.

Chew on that, and don't, don't inundate me with the who, what, where, and how's.

You know I will spoon feed you.

If I kept it from you it would be too weird.

God is good to me, and answers all of my prayers.

Good things come to those who deserve it.

I would have never said this about myself, but I will now.

I DESERVE GREAT, GREAT LOVE.

And......I am getting it.

Thank you heavens above!

I love you all and thank you for being patient with me not writing consistently.


I am here.......experiencing life, like everyone......digesting.......and marching forward in very high ways.

Thank you for supporting my blog, and for loving me in all the ways that you do.

Tons of love and warmth,
Gabriela

HATE TO SOUND SO CLICHE"....

JUST

DO

IT!

QUIT

TALKING

ABOUT

IT

AND

JUST

DO

IT!

~

REMAINING STILL..........

n

STAYING TRUE

If staying true to yourself
meant
risking
"it all"
what would
that
"ALL"
BE?

Is it
just
this
or that
or is it
really
the
"ALL".

Is staying
true
trepidation?

You either
risk
or
you
don't.

You can't
jump
and
in
mid
air
want to put
one foot
back
on land.

You either
say
yes
and
free fall
or
you
are
not
yet
ready.

Either one
is OK.

just
naming
it
is
the
free fall.

I'm
on
the
edge.

Love
just
can't
seem
to
hold
me
down.

~

THERE ARE PEOPLE THAT WANT...........

........people that don't realize that they want things from you. They think it is genuine love, and concern, but it isn't. It is a wanting that shows up.
There is no need to want from me.
I am only here to give love..............
not anything else............. I am not here for anything else...........  unless I tell you otherwise.

Please, do not make my genuine love into something that it is not!!!

I am not a flirt, someone that needs to say things for a reaction. I tell it like it is, and if you happen to misinterpret, that is your thing.............

I genuinely am here to spread and share love, not to play a game, or lead you in some stray direction for some self absorbed reason. I'd rather shoot myself, in all honesty!

I get countless comments via email ...........they blow me away.

I am me............Gabriela...................a regular person..............not this "thing", or untouchable........... I am here, just like you..doin' my work.
I am not the "thing" you think I am.
I am regular.
Just like you.

I have done some extensive work and it has been incredible......

but know........... I am still...........and always will be........... a work in progress..........and never will be.........anything less..............

There are those that have very specific opinions about me.........and you should know that I am right there with you...doing my regular work........... hashing out the same things that need work in order for us to move forward........

I am not better, or greater, or anything like that..............

I am simply me.........with the same questions, the same fervor, the same insatiable desire to know what the hell is going on here..........

So please, humbly, do  me this favor........don't categorize me as something special, someone that has something that you don't, because I have what you have............and that is LOVE!

Look within to see what you have that is going to take you to the higher.........

I am always here to support higher consciousness, but not to make any assumption that I am someone or something that will take you to where you need to be.

That is your own trek.

It is all individual.

I am here, just like you, discovering my own individual ride.

I will hold your hand, but I am no means, the teacher.

A friend......... and a supporter..............but nothing greater.

Thank you for the ability to express!

~

I FEEL SO LUCKY THESE DAYS.......

.......and really,  not only these days, but I pan back on my life and go.........WOW............. really! Amongst all of the stuff that gets thrown at me on this journey, I know in my heart that I have to look beyond those mishaps, and see the gems in them. And not only the gems in them, but the gems everywhere I turn, or look, in my life.
I love when I am feeling so acute to my surroundings, my inner realm, what that means for me, what direction it shows me I am going in, aware of all the people in my life, and what they all mean, able to see the finer tuned things that speak to me in ways that unveil bits and pieces of me and why I am here and how I can forge forward, against any and all odds, to do what it is that I need to do here,  no matter how big or small.

Life has recently given me the most beautiful gems, has taken me out of my box of ideas, that I actually thought were good, and conducive, and healthy, and yet, I feel as if the volcano has erupted and I am experiencing life, in a fresh and crisp new way.
For lack of better words, I feel as if a volcano has erupted and the hot lava that trickles down onto the earth is my heart, my passion for life, and my love for love..........and I am able to let the love shine, and grow and cultivate into some amazing relationships.
Using words to describe this, is by far a huge disappointment, just because I haven't really found any words or expression that touches the reality of what it all is for me at this point and time. I hate to feel as if I  have failed, especially with words. To be able to articulate such a grand love, is by far, one of my favorite past times, and not even a past time really, just a passion to spell out what love is, in all of it's facets.

Love is unexplainable to me. God's precious gifts to me are unexplainable. Everyday, it is a joy to wake up to see just what is going to be presented for me. God knows I am open, and honest, and willing to take on good things, not just for me, but for the whole.
I ask to be used as some sort of vehicle for love, for global awareness, for spiritual awakening, to spread how it all means so much, and if we all do some small part, things WILL EVENTUALLY COME TOGETHER.
This year is going to be filled with active ways to get closer to that nirvana for me. To be able to make bold moves to get to where I think change will happen, and will make a difference.

I am attracting beautiful souls, situations that are supporting my beliefs, and that are willing to take risks to get closer to who they are, and what they are about, and fortunately for me, that equals my path, and similar ideas on how to raise a consciousness that will rock this planet........move people, and allow a better understanding of how we can live in a joy, amongst all of the crap, and elevate others, and their way of living, so that all of this doesn't seem like such an arduous trek, about paying bills, or robbing Peter, to pay Paul.

I have thoughts, and big ones, and they have been planted in a huge garden that is just about to blossom like nobodies business.

I feel so lucky these days for  my life, again, and again, and again, for all situations that have brought me closer to who I am, and away from the false, and for God sending me angels, that have stolen my heart, and have allowed me to open up so much more to trusting, and loving, and relating in beautiful ways that I could never possibly articulate.

I am so very grateful for everything that is transpiring in my world.

Thank you heavens above for watching my back.

I continue to be in great, great awe.

I love all of you and thank you for always responding to what seems to be your calling as well, not just mine.

Holding your hand the whole way.

All my love,
Gabriela

EVENING GATHA

Let me respectfully remind you~
Life and death are of supreme
importance.
Time swiftly
passes by
and
opportunity is
lost.
Each of us
should strive
to
awaken...
AWAKEN!
Take heed....
Let us not
SQUANDER
OUR
LIVES!

~

BREAKING OUT OF MY OWN BOX

Faces
Disappear
into the
light.

I sink
deep
into
a
cushion
of
a reality
so real
seemingly
tangible
yet far
so far
away.

The back round
reminiscent of
my past.

I smile
objectively
and praise
growth.
Praise
time
and
the willingness
to change.

I praise the
word
YES!

I praise
my small
mind
that isn't small
anymore.

The mind
that was set
just hours
before

and stuck in
decision
and
opinion.

I'm not the same.

I'm not the same
from 6 o'clock on.

I have people
to thank
who would
never
think
they had
anything to do
with my flight.

I have much thanks
to a myriad
of "ghosts"
in my world
who are
seemingly
insignificant
yet
significant.

I "wrong" myself
all too much
in favor of
what is right
and what is
wrong.

I knock myself
down
24/7
crashing
old ideas
that
no longer
belong.

Compassion finds me
as it knows
how I beckon
it so.

Compassion
brought it's army
with it
tonight.

It showed up
ready to
fight.

My arms
down
with total surprise.

Wadya doin here?
As if there were no room
to fight for more
understanding.

There has been
a
crashing
and Compassion
won a huge
battle
tonight.

Compassion
kicked
my
ass.

Touche'
you crazy
crazy
persistent fool.

I know
you seek me out
because you hear me
in my silent moments
call you
yell out
to you
to swallow me
whole
and to take
anything
from me
that doesn't
belong.
You've done good
compassion,
you are ON IT
and have taken me
for a ride.
Tonight
it was you and I
and a mystery woman.
You bare gifts
that are sometimes
 hard to
take.

I'm receiving
you.
I get it.
Just please
don't stop!
I'm here
for the gift.
Just  please
allow me
to give back
this most
precious
chain
of love
and
allow me
to melt
in your pool
of surrender.
I am quite sure
that this is
the only
place
I have found
total
comfort
in living.

I don't care
where it is
I just ask
to always
have that house
full of this life
that sustains me
and takes me
away from it all
and into your arms
of
love.
the pure love
that I crave
and cherish
most.

Thank you
once again
for giving me
life
outside
of
ideas.

I am
forever
indebted.

~

ARMS WIDE OPEN......HANDS WAY UP...... STRETCHING.......

GOD LIFE IS A PHENOMENON!!!

I am so in love with my life........with all of it's colors.......it's differences.....it's learning curves........ all of the things that are supposed to grab a hold of me, to keep me down........... or make it seem like life is hard......and yes, it can be, but after experimenting, and experimenting........... I'm gettin a good hold of how it all works and I have to be honest.......I am giggling to high heaven........that I haven't been tripped up, at least as much as I had in the past.
I mean, it is pretty darn significant.

I love the fact that everyday, I wake up and wonder what I have learned the night before. It turns me on, for lack of better expression, but that IS what it is............ I'm not lookin' for diamonds, or the greatest trip abroad, or gifts upon gifts.......I'm lookin to see what I have learned....... how I can see the beauty in evolution...........I mean we have been given this tiny span of time, to do with it what we want, and man, I have screwed up big time........ but I love that! I love that I  have fallen hard enough to be able to be passionate enough, to wonder what is beyond the fall...........and to me.........beyond the fall is where it is at.

When you can shed tears because you know the choices you have made were maybe not the right ones, but realize that they were beneficial to your growth and that you have taken gems from them, and have been able to make different choices, to change, and to grow into more of who you are, outside of those ideas is .......GOD...........CRAZY BEAUTIFUL............CRAZY TRUTH.............. and bold...........because you are staying true to who you are inside, outside of what may seem to be, or what people expect of you.

 When I leave my  house for work, I gather my things. My lunch tote........ and all of the things that I will need to sustain me in work and well........... I have this routine, which is good............I like consistency......... (my sister would choke right now).......I feel like I have my life, in the morning, which is so simple, yet rewarding, to say the very least......... so god damn exquisite, and then when I look at the clock, and it is nearing time for me to get dressed and wind down to put on a different hat, there is a sadness that happens, that I have to leave my oasis, and have to come down to regular life, as it is, very.......well.........very........ cerebral, very disturbing, to be honest.........to see the reality of  human nature, and how it fights to feel comfortable, to be able to get along with others, and just to be OK with itself, alone.......... what a wild ride............and understanding that not many people want to explore outside of a bold comment.

My body is electric with a consciousness that is yelling.........screaming...........and too, whispering the amazing Truth's that are happening for me, and revealing a part of me that I honestly have to digest in my  moments of quiet.

I feel as if my arms are wide open, my hands are high in the air, as if I were to be grabbing onto something so tangible............but it clearly, is not.

The mystery behind love is not tangible at all, and if you can get that, and be OK with it, the mystery will take you on a hunt, a bloody search for a Truth that seems insatiable.........yet  you know you will be satisfied in some odd way, that will be "semi" important on your life's journey........maybe, given extra thought, you will know just how important it all really was........and will give credence to the ladder.............

We truly are........ALL..........SEARCHING...............when it really comes down to it......that is what it is......
we all want to know answers...... we want validity........... we want to know that we will be blanketed with a love that will carry us to our death beds...............

This we cannot be sure of.........at least on the outside............what I do know, for  myself, is that, love is always available, ready to change, or not change us........... it is palpable.

We can manuever in this world as we wish.......no need to apologize.

It is what we want it to be.........right? I mean, RIGHT?

MY ARMS ARE WIDE OPEN............
MY HANDS
WAY UP
IN
TOTAL
SURRENDER!

I want to stretch this soul to the extremes.

Thank you for all of your Truths.
I feel indebted!

Gabriela