GOD LIFE IS A PHENOMENON!!!
I am so in love with my life........with all of it's colors.......it's differences.....it's learning curves........ all of the things that are supposed to grab a hold of me, to keep me down........... or make it seem like life is hard......and yes, it can be, but after experimenting, and experimenting........... I'm gettin a good hold of how it all works and I have to be honest.......I am giggling to high heaven........that I haven't been tripped up, at least as much as I had in the past.
I mean, it is pretty darn significant.
I love the fact that everyday, I wake up and wonder what I have learned the night before. It turns me on, for lack of better expression, but that IS what it is............ I'm not lookin' for diamonds, or the greatest trip abroad, or gifts upon gifts.......I'm lookin to see what I have learned....... how I can see the beauty in evolution...........I mean we have been given this tiny span of time, to do with it what we want, and man, I have screwed up big time........ but I love that! I love that I have fallen hard enough to be able to be passionate enough, to wonder what is beyond the fall...........and to me.........beyond the fall is where it is at.
When you can shed tears because you know the choices you have made were maybe not the right ones, but realize that they were beneficial to your growth and that you have taken gems from them, and have been able to make different choices, to change, and to grow into more of who you are, outside of those ideas is .......GOD...........CRAZY BEAUTIFUL............CRAZY TRUTH.............. and bold...........because you are staying true to who you are inside, outside of what may seem to be, or what people expect of you.
When I leave my house for work, I gather my things. My lunch tote........ and all of the things that I will need to sustain me in work and well........... I have this routine, which is good............I like consistency......... (my sister would choke right now).......I feel like I have my life, in the morning, which is so simple, yet rewarding, to say the very least......... so god damn exquisite, and then when I look at the clock, and it is nearing time for me to get dressed and wind down to put on a different hat, there is a sadness that happens, that I have to leave my oasis, and have to come down to regular life, as it is, very.......well.........very........ cerebral, very disturbing, to be honest.........to see the reality of human nature, and how it fights to feel comfortable, to be able to get along with others, and just to be OK with itself, alone.......... what a wild ride............and understanding that not many people want to explore outside of a bold comment.
My body is electric with a consciousness that is yelling.........screaming...........and too, whispering the amazing Truth's that are happening for me, and revealing a part of me that I honestly have to digest in my moments of quiet.
I feel as if my arms are wide open, my hands are high in the air, as if I were to be grabbing onto something so tangible............but it clearly, is not.
The mystery behind love is not tangible at all, and if you can get that, and be OK with it, the mystery will take you on a hunt, a bloody search for a Truth that seems insatiable.........yet you know you will be satisfied in some odd way, that will be "semi" important on your life's journey........maybe, given extra thought, you will know just how important it all really was........and will give credence to the ladder.............
We truly are........ALL..........SEARCHING...............when it really comes down to it......that is what it is......
we all want to know answers...... we want validity........... we want to know that we will be blanketed with a love that will carry us to our death beds...............
This we cannot be sure of.........at least on the outside............what I do know, for myself, is that, love is always available, ready to change, or not change us........... it is palpable.
We can manuever in this world as we wish.......no need to apologize.
It is what we want it to be.........right? I mean, RIGHT?
MY ARMS ARE WIDE OPEN............
MY HANDS
WAY UP
IN
TOTAL
SURRENDER!
I want to stretch this soul to the extremes.
Thank you for all of your Truths.
I feel indebted!
Gabriela
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