DEVOTIONAL PRACTICE

I don't know where this blog will take me tonight. I knew that I needed to sit and write, and as always, there are a million things to write about, so little time, and every once in awhile I glance over at the clock and say, "Shit..... it's late, I can't write tonight.......".

There are always so many things to do, to accomplish, dogs to attend to and such.....

I'm not obsessed with having things done in a timely manner, yet, I do love to be productive, and don't have an investment in checking things off on my to do list, at least I hope not after years and years of condensing my should and shouldn'ts into a big trash can that I set on fire, to set ablaze ideas that just don't need to be with me any longer.

I am in a major state of awe tonight for so many reasons.

I found a gift in my box at work tonight. It was a CD from a friend. A Christmas gift. So surprising and lovely.
I took it home with me tonight and have been listening to it since I  have gotten home.
I love the fact that listening to this music brings me closer to my friend, but not only that, connects me to her soul, the one that I knew was ablaze when we met. The CD also has reminded me of who I am, what I love, and the tenderness of Truth. How incredibly pure it all is and how it is THE MOST IMPORTANT THING in my life. It IS MY LIFE!

It is very rare that I go out of  my way to spend time with people. I get enough of people at work , which is such a blessing for me in so many gorgeous ways, but at the end of the night, I cradle the moments that I will be home, with my animals, in silence........no noise, no hustle...........just simple......simple.......simple!

I have an extremely private life, and when I do venture out to spend time with people, it is going to be because you equal special in my life.
That may sound fa fi fa, as my sister and I call it. I am not pompous in any way shape or form, just very specific with my time, who, what, and where's.........
I don't have a lot of time and so I want my spare time to be laden with goods.......pure goods that will sustain my energy and elevate people.

I know what that equates for me. It's a pretty simple formula, yet it is potent beyond belief.

I have been experiencing so many things that almost have no words to describe the enormity of it all.

It is a huge disappointment for the writer in me who NEEDS to find the right words to express this crazy, crazy love that I am experiencing, but not for the soul who just GETS IT and is fine with WHAT IS!

I have come to realize, more and more, how my devotional practice dictates my moments, my hours, my days, my every, every, every thing.

It affects my decisions, my relationships, my "plans" for where I might be headed.......I mean really, there are a ton of things.

There are things that come at us from all directions, pulling us to go one way or the other.

I find that when I am connected to who I am inside, and am OK with letting ideas go, not glomming onto them, that I soar to heights that baffle the sh...........outa me!

Right now, I cannot seem to articulate what it truly is that I am experiencing, and it IS a lot.

Remnants of my past make me learn and grow and keep me current on so many things.

Then you meet the person that you have missing all of this time, and you wonder how God can be so darn gracious!

How will it all be orchestrated?

Again, I close my eyes........

It is none of my business!

I don't want to know, to be honest.

The glory of my days are reveling in the moment and letting life unfold in all of it's glory.

I completely trust this process. So much so that I have to take several "God" breaks to check in with myself to see if I have actually gone to heaven, or if it is actually "heaven" that I am living in............modern day........ serious........... seizing my moments so much so that God is  using me in the biggest of ways, to live out this life in the most conducive and genuine ways.

He is bringing me the people, revealing the places, and at the same time, tickling me to death, reminding me of how fleeting this all is!

How it will all be gone in a flash.

I have a responsibility to myself.

That responsibility is to stay true to myself.

In staying true to myself, I bring about change.

I bring a fierce consciousness to the table that needs to be gulped up.

I need quiet to digest what it is that I need to be doing in order to make that consciousness come to life, and to make it a reality.

I don't sneeze at any of my visions.

They are real, thought out, and  precise.

I am a warrior that will fight for what I believe in.

There is so much to be done..........

I rest in the knowing that I am one that will accomplish the things that need to be done in order to promote happiness, growth, change, and transformation.

How that will show up for me is always a surprise, and too, a luxury.

I bow in sheer gratitude for the allowance to live in a life that is so free.

How lucky am I to be able to write this blog, so freely....... to say whatever it is that I want and send it out into the ether's..... my own thoughts........ unedited............with no expectations............just a free love............. sharing it's grandeur............

I'm overwhelmed, to say the least.

Thank you, thank you, thank you, for this life.............for my very existence...........for being born into such a complex world that has challenged me enough to question so many things, to keep me alive, so very much alive........

never stale.....I swear.......

God is so good to me!

I court my God ..............

I forever court my God........

I will forever open his door, send him flowers, write him poetry, swing him around, dancing freely.............

My smile is will always be big.......... greeting him with open arms.......... sharing my tender heart.......

because

I love............ really............... just love..........period!

It is the one thing that I can be sure of.............for myself............

that my love will never run dry............

it is an oasis.........

and so  unexplainable

that I must just finish this sentence

and go..........

I never want to water down this love.

~