My mom raised 5 kids by herself.
To this day I just cannot phathom how she did it, and then times like now, although I do not have "people children", I have animals children, I get it!!! I SO GET IT!
When you take on certain responsibilities you then own them. They are yours, unless you decide you just want to ditch out because you just can't handle it, or you don't have the money or the means, or whatever would make you decide that it's just not worth it.
My mom went to the edge of edges to care for us kids, to cloth us, to feed us, to make sure we were happy. We may not have had the newest, latest and greatest things, but I tell you now, in retrospect, we had SO MUCH!
I think about how I would cringe with hand me down clothes, and shoes. HELL, I HAD CLOTHES AND SHOES! Many kids didn't even have that.
What I will say to the day I die is, " There is one thing I was never short of, and that is LOVE!"
My mother worked 3 jobs, cooked for us, we had fun take out foods, we had fun little surprises as gifts, silly but fun things, we had beautiful homemade Italian meals that you would pay top dollar for in restaurants these days. We had her singing to us, laying with us in bed and talking like friends, I had her showing up at my softball games, sitting in the bleachers cheering me on, being the mom who volunteered at the concession stand handing out hot dogs and soft pretzels.
I had someone that went to great lengths to try to make sure I was happy, fed well, and loved on.
These three things are what I live my life by.
Although I do not have "people children", I have my farm animals and my dogs that I feel that same amount of devotion to.
Whether it be a child or an animal, they all look for routine, love, and of course food.
In my heritage, food equals LOVE, so I have preened my animals to the same.
It's a ritual, like waking up and having coffee, or winding down and having wine.
As long as there is a genuine love, there is a response that takes away all expression, all words, because it is THAT priceless.
That is what my days are like.
I may not be rich, or have this or that, but my home is beautiful, I am warm, safe, have wonderful food, have transportation, and luxuries beyond belief.
I feel utterly grateful for my life, for my animals that are a pain in the ass sometimes, but what isn't? I would not give them up for anything, they truly give me life!
They help me deal with life's crap. To be able to stay neutral and centered in some crazy times.
A lot of people wish for money, and yes, I agree. Money makes things easier, but when I was making a ton of money the grass was not really greener. It really wasn't!!
I believe there is a balance but the key for me is........... AS LONG AS THERE IS LOVE, I can deal with anything that comes my way, and if somehow I can't, I have friends who share that LOVE that I am talking about, to remind me of what is real, and what is not.
I thank my beautiful mother for bestowing the most real love to me. Not just a mothers love, but a simple love that spreads to each and every one of us.
That beautiful woman touched so many souls in this life. I was not surprised at her funeral how many people showed up, like a full on concert.
You could see it in their eyes, and then to boot, the words, the expressions, of how they were affected not by my Mother, but by LOVE, itself.
This is what I have learned, and adopted, and have integrated into my life.
AS LONG AS THERE IS LOVE.......... everything will be OK.
I feel utterly grateful for love in general. For without it, I would be a zombie, some dead soul out there continuously searching for something or another. ~
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