DEVOTION

This word seems to denote an idea to a lot of people.
Some it would be a spiritual devotion. Some devotion is just being devoted to someone, or something.
To me devotion is all encompassing.
If you are devoted to someone or something, you are DEVOTED. No matter what it is.
Since I was a child I found myself always devoted to one thing or another, and I stuck with it, no matter what it was. A person, an art, a sport, a belief, or my "idea" of what I thought life was, and I executed that devotion in a myriad of ways. Personally, and outwardly.
Outwardly it seemed awkward as a kid. Kids and young adults are "supposed" to do this, that, and the other thing, and I was always devoted to my inner thoughts, ideas, and what I knew inside to be my own personal truth.
Back then it was extremely difficult, just because a lot of my ideas were not the "norm". At least not in New Jersey, or just at that point and time, with the mind set of where young people were.
I remember feeling so out of place at parties that my boyfriend would have at his house, or when friends would get together in our apartment complex and do their "fun" things, it would just keep me perplexed, and leave me feeling so alone and different.
Don't get me wrong, I did all kinds of stuff then, had a blast and laughed my ass off. But all in all, I knew at an early age that there was something for me that was very different. Something outside of what was happening.
I had my own room growing up for awhile. My mom let me do whatever the heck I wanted in that room.
I look back and think WOW! It's like me now.
My room was just so. Even my stuffed animals were placed on my bed in such a way that it was like art. My dresser was really no different than mine now. An altar of everything and everyone that I love, from people, to pine cones, to stones, to leaves from the trees, to cool wood that I would find on my treks in the woods.
DEVOTION.
It is what  your heart gravitates toward and stands by without a shadow of a doubt.
It is what gives you hope, and life inside.
My spirituality has always been my devotion.
I don't put that in a "religious" box.
My spirituality equals nature, my animals, my loved ones, and that sacred spot inside of me that no one can ever touch. It is the only thing that cannot be taken away from me, which keeps me in line when life presents me with situations that either take things from me or that I have created a situation where those things have been taken away. It is a loss to some degree, but not really.
When all is said and done, I would be happy with my own thoughts, my glorious experience here, and the ultimate gratitude that I was given the chance to be here, on this earth, experiencing so much, from hardship to glory.
It is a wild ride, and I would not trade it for the world.
Today I "chatted" through FB with my very first lover. It's been 30 years.
It changed my day.
The memories, the hardships, the experience of a 17 year old dealing with a stack of things and taking on a family of four that I have never forgotten to this day.
Recently they have gotten in touch with me through FB.
The kids, that I felt were my kids at the time, are all grown, have children, beautiful homes and lives.
I was a mere child myself.
Life is a total adventure, like a ride in a boat, floating down an unknown river.
You never know what to expect or how to act in the moment.
Tears flow from these eyes to feel the time, the experience and the constant letting go of the past.
I've learned so much and although things have been tough, I embrace everything and I wouldn't change a thing.
I never thought I would say that but it really is true1
I feel as if my soul has expanded to a degree that I would never in a million years imagine.
Maybe this is what it is like to grow older and more wise, I don't know.
What I am devoted to is my practice.
My practice is to love unconditionally.
To forgive, no matter the circumstance.
To stay silent, more than not, to hear that subtle "voice" inside that guides me and lets me know the next turn.
To meditate deeply on my purpose here and to execute that in the best way  possible.
To help, to serve my fellow friends, strangers, and of course animals of all kind.
It seems like a lot but really, when the silence kicks in, it's like riding a bike.
Once you get on, the ride is so easy and you enjoy the heck out of it.
There is not a care in the world then, right? Are you with me?
Paint your own scenario.
DEVOTION.
I am devoted to LOVE in this life, and that shows up in a million ways.
For me, devotion takes a lot of quiet time and paving ways that don't always seem "right".
I just keep trekking on, in my own way, and if it feels good to me, in my heart, I know I'm good.
I am extremely grateful for all of the love and DEVOTION that comes to me in the way of friends and lovers who think that their "small" acts of kindness, to me, and for me, are nothing.
This, to me, is DEVOTION, and love in the way that I understand the most.
I appreciate you all and love you all from the bottom of my heart.
I hope to be all of that and more for you.
Now and always~
Gabriela ( Joni, to some ;) )