WHY OH WHY.. IS IT SO HARD TO STOP?

Wake up. Brush your teeth. Take a shower. Make coffee. Feed the animals. Turn on the news, or not, go for a walk, go to work, toil, toil, toil. eat lunch.... toil, toil, toil.... the hour hits. We are "free". Drive home. Anticipating what is next. Get home. Toil, toil, toil. Make dinner, clean up, watch the news, visit with a friend, do laundry, get ready for the next day... toil, toil..... until.........
brush your teeth, look at yourself..... wonder for a second, if THIS is REALLY ......IT!!!
Toil, toil... crawl into bed.....maybe read.....maybe not........ dream...... or not......... toss and turn......... who knows really...... it changes from time to time, doesn't it?
Who REALLY knows what the next moment, hour, day, or week will bring???
Life is fickle. It really is. It's nature is to be fickle. I can't change it, so I have to swing with it.
It's like someone who is moody. You can't change it, but find ways in which to swing with it.
In today's world, if you cannot get creative in your outlook on life, and things, I think you will either be consciously dead, or you will die of anxiety or a heart attack, acting as if you are surprised at life, and what it offers, much to your dismay, and be the one who has been stricken with something.
Please don't misread my writings.
Some things happen and are out of our hands. I get that. I honestly do. I do think though, that we have a huge responsibility in our evolvement and healing. Not many of us are privy to this, or even have any kind of resource to connect to. When we have an issue or when we are ill, we fret and head immediately to the doctor.
I don't find it often that when one finds out a certain piece of information, that they head straight for their meditation chair, to take personal inventory on what may or may not be happening for them, or in their tiny little nuclease of a world. I think it is an immediate fight or flight situation. Understandable!
There is another way, I promise you that!
God, it is so difficult to say that there are things that will help us along without making it sound like there is one way, and one way only. I do not believe in that.
I believe in self discovery, and however that shows up for you, wonderful. If it feels right and conducive, than yeahhh, cool. Another outlet and piece to the puzzle on your journey in this little intricate life.
Self discovery is different for everyone.
I don't care if you are in this program or that program, the list certainly goes on. Atheist, pagan, christian, Buddhist, non believer, this that or the other thing. I DO NOT JUDGE YOU.  I have been across the board.
We are all trying to get to the same place. If you want to do a thousand hail Mary's, go ahead...... if you want to chant the word of God, please do...... if you want to let the whisper of the wind guide you, bless your heart..... whatever it is........... if it brings you peace of heart and mind....... there you go!!!!
That is for you, and I am there.
I realized this as I was in the ICU unit with my mother, as it was her last days.
She couldn't move really. Lucky we got her to a chair when my sister and the woman who came to do communion and prayer sat there to receive.
It was a blazing moment for me in my own evolution.
I was there for my mom, and knowing she wanted this for her, and so did my sister.
I have had my own spiritual beliefs for many years. It was never really talked about.
I sat there and watched the woman say her prayers to my mother and my sister, give them communion, and then she looked at me, and waited to see what I wanted to do. I quietly said thank you, and acknowledged her being, her way, and her way in which she imparted beauty and reality into my sister and my mother.
I realized in that moment that it was OK to have a different belief system, but to send healing and love and forgiveness and so many other words that would take me all night to describe,to my mother, that would equal, to me, the same message, the same  prayer, and the same healing properties as if I had held those beads, and said the same prayer that was shared while I was quiet.
It was a definite moment in time in my life, as an adult woman, a daughter, a disciple of life, and as a sister/friend who had shared a lifetime of wonders and contemplations.

There it was. A stopping!
A real, true, STOPPING.
Had I never stopped before?
Had I always been this sort of robot in my life where things come up and you just quickly deal with them to get past the emotion and once you hurdled over that, you were good, until the next situation presented itself?
It has been 4 years since my mother has passed and I don't think I have digested the enormity of the teachings. The magnitude of love, of how to surrender to the present moments in my life. To be able to consciously make a cut off point from insanity to an insane kind of reality where you embrace the obscure, the indefinite, and make it all a part of a reality that IS REAL, and is part of what is happening, and make good with it all.

IT IS IMPERATIVE that you take time for yourself. Time to reflect, time to get a grip on where you are, and with whom, and to make good where good needs to be met.
Life is seductive!!
It WILL entrance you!


I know we are all human, in all of our frailties, and god bless us all, really... on this crazy trek, but know one thing. If we act honestly, give freely, with no expectations, and risk everything for a free way of living and thinking, we will be given everything.
It may not show up how you wish it to show up, but I will guarantee you that if you step your little toe out there with somewhat of a trust, you will be hit hard with a reality that is so honestly amazing that you WILL NOT KNOW what to do with it.
It is more unspoken, than spoken.
I am completely humbled.
My life is exquisite beyond belief!
I don't care where I work or for who.
The details are just a funny summary of what I am doing here.
It surely has nothing to do with who I am!
I love you all so much and thank you for listening to me ramble on about what I think is most important.
It may not mean a lick to you and that, to me, would honestly be OK.

Goodnight.
Gabriela

WHAT ARE WE RUNNING FROM?

I picked this subject because it seems to be the main topic in so many people's lives. It isn't the type of thing that actually looks like, or seems like we are running, but YES, WE ARE RUNNING from ourselves.

How does this look?

I am busy 24/7, I have no time for myself, I cannot do this anymore, there is not enough time in the day, I am running ragged, I'm stressed, I am anxiety ridden, I need to take something for my heart, I cannot sleep at night, I am overweight, I hate myself, I never look like this..........

Do any of these things sound familiar?

I don't think it is anything to get freaked out about. I think it is just the simple fact that we are human, going through life, and shit comes up.... really!! Anyone would want to run for the hills. I know I would.
It takes everything for me everyday to stay good with myself. Sometimes it is easy, easy. I wake up, I feel grateful, I go to work, I share some good stuff with clients, they change, their bodies respond, they feel taken care of, I get to think outside of the box, I spend time in nature, I love on my dogs, I spend time with the birds, I am quiet, I cook lovely food for my soul, and cap it there. I read a little, fuel my soul with some inspiration, and call it a beautiful evening, really!
Some days, I wake up and my chest is pounding. Why, WHY........... I do have to ask. Why the heck is my chest pounding? What is happening that my body is responding in such a crucial manner?
What were my thoughts before bed? What am I believing to be true? What feels unfinished?
9 times out of 10 I can name it, and don't always necessarily want to own it.
I want to...............RUN!
I mean really, who wants to feel all of this body stuff because of some batch of emotions that we decided to take on?
Why did we decide to take it on? Because we are lazy!! We don't feel like thinking anymore so we just say, "I feel like crap today". "I'm not up to par today". "I don't know what is wrong with me".
YES YOU DO! Just say it!
You are unhappy! You are bored! You are dissatisfied with your progress, or lack of progress at this point and time in your life.
Please don't blame it on someone or a situation that has occurred in your life. Boy, do I know that one all too well.
No one is to blame. Not even  yourself.
IT IS WHAT IT IS!
You made choices, or things occurred and you either have dealt with it or you have decided to not deal with it just yet, and want to milk the cow just a teeny bit more. I get all angles. I have been the "victim" and have also copped to my own short comings and have prayed for guidance on a better way, next time, to deal with things.
All I know, is that it is truly NOT in my nature to RUN!
Sometimes I see myself as an old woman. I visualize what that will look like. I wonder if old ideas about things and my own self will sculpt me and age or not age me. I wonder if I will be humble enough to say "Sayanara" to ideas that are just .........ideas, and that I will hurdle over a huge clump of what life is "supposed" to be and hang tight with my simple little genuine self that doesn't give a living crap what people say about me, or how they think this little person should be living, or who I am supposed to be with, or not be with, and what profession I am supposed to have, because god knows, I should be making millions right now, right?
After all, I am in my mid forties and things should look like...........THIS!!!
You know the picture, I know you do.

Half the time I say to myself, "OK, if I just had someone to help me with........... and things would be easier if........and life would be more fun if........ so and so were here............
the bottom line is, if I cannot find a balance, a harmony, a neutral ground here, in this NOW, with myself, than it ain't never gonna happen.
I am truly OK with myself.
I like me.
I like my take on life and think it is good for me, at least. I can cinch up a few things but for the most part, I wing it for loves sake. I don't want to be beholden to what should be to be SAFE.
I have to make sure I am soulfully happy, and then paste together all other ends.
Not one of us is perfect!
We try to do our best to stay good, on target, and all of that, but the truth is, stuff comes up. Our age, illness, doctor scares, wrinkles, hurts, self sabotage, image issues, self worth, should and shouldn'ts.
It's all part of it.
Embrace it and let yourself be OK with all of the crappy thoughts. I think once we embrace the crappy stuff, it takes a load off and we can actually laugh about our absurdities.
Hay, this year, I have tons more grey hair, and oh, forgive the crazy new lines on my nose and eyes from worshipping the sun.

My choice. Always my choice, right? So...... in that.....why complain. I want to accept my choices and get on with it already. Enough talk about how I shoulda coulda woulda. Yawn, yawn!!

Jeezzusss!
Be easy on yourself.
Take intermittent looks at yourself, objectively, check out what looks good and compliment yourself, or see what it is that you may want to change up, and make a plan, don't beat yourself to a pulp. Just change it for god's sake. Quit all the talking.
Hay, I say this to myself. I go on my own rants and I laugh and say, what an ass!! Be quiet and just DO IT!!
So, there it is.
Don't make mountains out of mole hills.
I'm not.
It's all going to come to an end quicker than we realize and then we are REALLY going to feel like heels. You know, we'll be there, lying pathetically, doing the proverbial, "I wish I just would have, or I should have just...... or I should have listened to......."

Let's be a little bit smarter. Check out your life right now. What do you want to get rid of? How do you want to live? What needs to happen for you to feel closest to your soul, the person that is elated, like a child opening Christmas gifts in the morning? Seriously, this isn't a joke.
HOW CAN YOU DO THIS?
Think about it.
I do. Everyday. I do the things that make me smile huge.
It may seem boring, or redundant, or pretty plain.
I don't care.
Half the time I laugh out loud knowing it is just not what is "supposed" to be but it works for me and makes me feel alive.
The only time it doesn't make me feel alive, is if I have adopted some idea that I should be doing something different, just because........ and the list goes on.
Don't run from yourself.
Take whatever seems amazing and great, and joyful to you and expound on it. Make it more real than what it is in your life now, and praise yourself for taking the risk.
Who cares what  people say. Who are those people anyway?
JUMP! HURRY, BEFORE IT IS TOO LATE!
~

SEEING THINGS A BIT DIFFERENT SOMETIMES

You know the one........ we all have it!! BLAH... BLAH..BLAH!!!
"You can't do that, you are too old", "You can't do that, after all, who else is doing that?" "You can't do that,  because THIS is what you are SUPPOSED to be doing".

Today I took a client/friend to the lake for her workout. We usually bike for 30 minutes, ride to the lake, swim laps, and then do a "rock" workout on the shore. We pick rocks that equal what we think is 10 pounds, 20 pounds, or even 5. It's funny, but man, what a work out. We do a ton of resistance training in the water, and talk about life. Pretty sweet!!
So, we get to the water, strip down to our suits, and feel the nip in the air. We both look at each other like, "Holy Moses". One foot in and it's freezing cold. I usually stand there longer than she does like a baby not wanting to be cold.
The mind always formulates a feeling with a scenario, gloms onto that, and there it is. THIS IS THE WAY I FEEL NOW. End of story!
We both just said, "Let's go"........... as in..........NO MORE THINKING ABOUT IT!! 1-2-3.........DIVE IN!
It was so exhilarating, cold as hell, but in seconds, I realized and acknowledged how incredibly limited my thoughts can be when I think too much! Sounds so "Book People-ish", but it's so true!
When I am so precise in the moment, no thoughts can really attach themselves to me because there is no room. I  mean absolutely NO ROOM. The only thing in that moment is what is happening, what I am doing, or not doing, and it is just.....THAT.
I won't even say that because I am in that precise moment, that it will all be heavenly, godly, so therefore I will be sniffing on a bed of roses. No!
I can be in the moment experiencing complete hell, but at least I am present with that emotion, and not glomming on to some unpredicted future, how uncertain life is, and how messed up it is because "someone" out there isn't watching out for me, you know, giving me the answers to every next moment in my life. I mean, come on, isn't that what life is really about........PREDICTABILITY? BEING COMFORTABLE AND ALWAYS KNOWING WHAT IS GOING TO HAPPEN NEXT?

Well, I must have been born on planet X, because as far as I know, life IS NOT THAT WAY, AND NEVER WILL BE! At least to me anyway. And that is devoid of any kind of science.

I know when I wake up in the morning I could trip over my dog, brake my leg and my day will not be the same.
I know when I drive away each day, there is a possibility that it could very well be my last drive, last view from a car, last experience down a beautiful road where I see horses, goats, chickens, and amazing landscape.
I mean, seriously, I think this way. It's really not unique, I think it is just sadly forgotten these days and it makes me sad, for me, when I am not in this reality, and for the other people too, whom I see in great sadness, not knowing that they actually have an alternative. They remain my teachers.

WE DON'T KNOW WHAT THE NEXT MINUTE WILL BRING, so in all of our moments, even if we are crazy in our little brains, wouldn't it be nice to adopt a new kind of attitude that life is delicate, life is chaotic, and never makes a lick of sense, so it would behoove us ( my mom would turn in her grave if she knew I used this word publicly). I loathed it as a child and look at me........... big wink to you mom....
yes, it would behoove us to adopt a new way of thinking and being.

Everyone I talk to and meet with are stressed. They can't grasp what it is like to NOT be stressed. Anxiety is high, the economy is ridiculous, and yeah, grabbing a back pack and high tailing it to a very cool camp site sounds glorious, rather than the sick rat race, but......... life is happening pretty fast paced, and if we don't get a hold FIRST, on our mind sets, within it all, we will be "had".
The so called "ruler", the brain, the limited intellect will win it's short run race.

There are ways to get around it all, but it takes BOLD CHOICES, individual choices, a gentle look at ourselves, where we have been, and not be so hard on ourselves for all of that. Our past, how things may or may not have looked, and stand sturdy in the NOW. Now doesn't involve your upbringing, your crazy father, your friends that made fun of you, your abandonment, your "lack" of.... nor does it involve positive future events. Just because it is positive doesn't mean it is NOW. You can still be positive, hold those thoughts in high regard, but if you are attached to them in the least, you've lost the name of the game.
Hay, I say, "Dream HUGE", but if that dream doesn't happen, hopefully you won't consider yourself a failure. To me, there is never failure, only a great learning curve and a chance for us to do it differently next time.
When I hear people say, "YOU HAVE FAILED", I think, "Right on". I get to be challenged again to see what will work instead".
Opportunities are given 24/7. TAKE THEM!!

So......... my rant about the water being cold and all of that??
My swim, seemingly quick and for a workout, enlightened me with each stroke. My breathing became easier, I looked up and around at the sky, the rocks, the gorgeous ripples in the water that I was eye to eye with, and I don't really remember thinking about some kinda cold water. Mind you when I stopped my friend said my chin was blue, hahaha, but........... you get what I'm saying right??

To me, it's a literal, DIP IN, DIP OUT. Go ahead dip in to the dark thoughts, or dip right out into this second where there is no tomorrow, and no yesterday.


So good to catch up and to reach out again.

So wild when expression is limited. Not writing for awhile felt like an old friend dying.
What a catharsis.

Thanks for listening and for always wanting to read about my little stories.

It makes me giggle and feel totally humbled at the same time.

I love you all and thank you so much for you!

Goodnight.
Gabriela

WELCOME BACK........ TO OURSELVES.

This has been the longest time since I haven't written on my blog. It actually was good since I had to take pen to paper. I have to be honest. I love pen to paper.
I love mailing cards, hand written letters, and such.
The computer is a beautiful tool. I still prefer pen to paper. It's just organic to me. Feeling your fingers to the pen and then to the paper. Folding it all up and sealing it in a nice envelope. Ahhhh!!!

I didn't plan on writing tonight since the day was amazingly full since early am. To spell it all out would be extremely interesting if I were to dissect my interactions, the people, the situations and how I quietly view them. I will. But tonight I guess will just be short.
I was compelled to write.
I am always compelled to write.
It's what I thrive on.
What is in me.

As I started my day, I thought, "What is most important to me"?
I usually wake up and meditate, or read something that is spiritually inspiring.

Today I focused on walking meditation and how being present in every one of my moments can lead me to a crazy wild experience. One that is so revealing that sometimes I have no idea what to do with it.
Every moment that I choose to be aware will take me to such a beautiful place, something that is so true, outside of any kind of ideas.

It's hard, you know. You know you have to work. You know you have obligations, bills, debts, and the "norm" of every day living. But then again, you know, so whole hearted, that those things are not the essence of who you are. They just aren't.
Well what is then?
What is the essence of who you are?

Is it your job? Your hobbies? Your love interest? Your identity to your family? Community of friends?

What if you were to just stand alone? Without all of those things?

Would you be comfortable?

How would you feel?

Times are tough right now.

That is a whole other story, which I will expound on.

I said this would be short.

I'm dying to dig deep into what is happening for us, individually, globally and collectively, as community, as lovers, as friends, as family.

What is it that we can do to elevate this consciousness?

It doesn't have to be big.

It's as little as this  small little blog that will go out to how many people?

But those people share with other people. And that is the way.

Simple.

No frills.

Tonight.... I will say...

Our territory is really very vast, but we are not responsible kings or queens. We always try to dodge away and we do not keep up a real surveillance of our territory. We have the feeling that there are immense conflicts there, too much suffering, too much pain- that is the reason we are very hesitant to get back to our territory.
Our daily practice consists of running away.
We are afraid of the suffering that is inside of us, afraid of war and conflict.

The practice of meditation consists of coming back to ourselves in order to restore peace and harmony.
To be mindful is to carry on concentration, understanding, and love. If we come back to ourselves to restore peace and harmony, then helping another person will be a much easier thing.

I try not to go on tangents. Love is like having a thousand tentacles. They all swarm at once.

My love swarms continuously, in every direction.

It's warm. It is defenseless. It is open armed.

It is true.

Thank you for allowing me in, and for letting me be myself.

Agree or disagree. Any which way is OK.

I am grateful for expression, that is all.

Goodnight.

Until tomorrow.

Gabriela

I'LL JUST WAIT TILL I............

I'll just wait to write my blog until I change that picture that is so not me anymore. I'll just wait to write because there is just too much to catch up on. Where do I begin? How do I formulate anything really? so much time has gone by and so much has happened and people are wondering, "What happened to Gabriela?"
Gabriela is fine.
Let's start there. I'm OK.
I had a major shift in my work. It was needed. I did not  predict the outcome of my new venture, which went sour for several reasons, so here I am, in the midst of the Universe with myself, my desires, and also, my plain wanting to just rest now. Rest in a simple life that will afford me the luxury to write, to express in all of the ways that I do, and let that take a life of it's own on.

It's funny because since my leaving the farm with my business partner, I have had time to sit back and to listen to what everyone thinks I should be doing, and also, have had time to reflect on what I actually want to do, and  man, it has been like a ping pong match.
This and this and this is what I am good at but is THIS actually what I want to do? Really? Do I want to start an enterprise at 44? Do I want to write books for a living and just work a simple job where there is no thinking involved? Do I expound on my passion for cooking? What is the true passion and what am I willing to do to get to the core of who I am, what I want to express, and how that will look in my everyday life?

I certainly am not the big frills girl. I have been there and done that. It impresses me like dust on my shelves.
I have no impression to make on anyone. I could care less. I am me.
What I do care about is  doing something that will make a difference in some way. I have to share this crazy love that is inside of me or I will bust into a thousand pieces.
I guess there are many ways to do that, but for me, it gets specific, and I know when the opportunity presents itself for me to get out of the way and to just be my little authentic self, opportunities arise where I can help in one way or the other and it infuses me like no other.
I try to stay on my track of beliefs amongst all of the chaos and uncertainty. It isn't easy.

The economy could seem like my worst enemy, but therein lies my ability to test my strengths and willingness to do what I know is right for me, against any kind of odds, to stay true to what I believe to be true and to follow through with what it is that I believe in, not only for my self, but for anyone that might glom onto what I am saying and believe it to ring just as true to their heart as it does mine.

There never seems to be enough positive reinforcement around, especially if you are odd man out, to do, and to accomplish things outside of the norm. I've given in to, "that's OK" mode.

I have been my own cheerleader for my entire life, and actually, it's OK. Sometimes it is a bit daunting, just because no one, ( I don't think), wants to be Superwoman in all of their moments, but for the most  part, it keeps me clear, my thoughts concise, and visions that I have, ready for a formula, ready to be put into action.

I feel like that damn starved writer, starved artist that struggles. How old is that? That starving artist! C'mon artists, let's start a new trend already!
 We don't have to starve you know. We just need to get creative!!
Anyone wanting to start a bandwagon on the "non starving artist" wagon, email me asap, I kid you not!

Anyway, this was supposed to be a short blog, for starters and now look! See what you've done?

You all made me talk and talk and talk.

( hard thing for me to do).

OK, so I will keep you posted.

Life is happening in a big way. Nothing other than the next person, but then again, if I were to get into the details of my life, you would see that there is much going on all around me, with the people involved and it makes for a much better story........... but that would be for a private room with some exotic popcorn and some sexy Mediterranean sea salt, that's for damn sure!

Good night and sweet dreams.

Gabriela

LITTLE SNIPPETS

My time is of the essence.

My little snippets mean, let's start crammin in information little by little so at least I can say I am staying aware, and giving you information, little by little, that will keep you abreast on what is happening in my world.

The "little snippets" mean a lot to me, even if it seems small. At least I can can keep you updated on what is new, what is happening, and how it all fits in, into the greater scheme of things.

There is so much that is happening, on many different levels, so I will just spoon feed you for now, and let you know that there are many beautiful things that are about to happen, so stay aware of me,what is happening, and you will find yourself immersed in a new little "life" that will transport you to another time and space.

Not extremely esoteric, mind you. Just consciously aware, awake and revitalizing to the human spirit.

Come along and hold my hand.

Until next time.....

I love you!

Gabriela

WHERE TO BEGIN?

Wow, so it has been way too long and so, so much information to relay in one blog.
I feel like I haven't written my blog in forever, and comparatively speaking, I just haven't.
It seems, again, that my days pass me by, the hours slip through the cracks, and I pan back on when my mother was my age now, and remember her saying, "Honey, it passes by so quickly". Before I knew it, you grew from a young girl into a beautiful woman". She always did say how the time will go by quickly, which is why I really try to embrace the importance of my life here, what that all entails, and try to make it exactly the way I would like for it to be.

Life throws us obstacles of all sorts, but I am the kind of person that thinks there is nothing, NOTHING that we cannot overcome, with a little bit of faith and perseverance.

I am a huge believer in taking quiet time, and lots of it, to allow ourselves to get reacquainted with ourselves, again and again and again.
We are ever changing, moment to moment, wanting different things, changing our desires, our plots and  plans for what we think our futures are, or even our next moments.

I think a good plan is good, but also, just for me, I think that being able to adopt a kind of fluidity in today's world is wise!

Why hold on to an idea, when there are so many miracles that come our way, so many circumstances that allow us to move in a direction that is generally what we want anyway, just maybe looks a bit different and is not what was mapped out on our canvas.

I always want to leave room for that fluidity.

Actually, it is the thing that works the best for me, and generally most people poo poo it because it is not a mainstream way of thinking.

I have always lived by my own rules. And really, they aren't really rules, just what has felt right, and have taken tons of risks to stay true to the calling that speaks to me so loudly in all of my moments.

Sometimes it even baffles me........

The information that is "handed" to me is perplexing to my mind, yet the feeling of "this is right" always takes precedence and I trust in a higher power that I believe has more knowledge than this tiny little brain. It's a highly "risky" way of thinking to most, but sheer brilliance to me.

I believe in that, and therefore try to balance the "calling" with my regular every day life that calls for routine, responsibility, and a vision of what it sees for not only itself, but for the whole. Humanity. The reason I am here and what I can be doing in simple ways to do, not only my part, but to grab a hold of what comes naturally to me and expound on IT, in ways that will raise the consciousness of our society, the people, no one better or worse, but people like you and me who could use a lesson or two on staying more true to ourselves, whether it be not acting out on someone in a robotic way, and taking responsibility for our actions, or walking down the road and picking up the glass bottle on the ground and pretending that you don't see it. Rather, pick it up, take it to your car and throw it away when you get home,  ya know? Simple stuff like that.

I don't know.

If I were to look at life from the whole, I would totally get overwhelmed and depressed at how could someone like me make a difference, but when I look at my moments, my tiny little moments in my day, I ask myself everyday.......how can I  make a difference???

Actually it isn't even a question anymore. I just move in that way. I like to make people smile. I like to just be there, with people, and even though observing them is a whole subject in and of itself, I sit back and giggle at the absurdity of personalities, how they operate and how, too, I can have more compassion for people, AND myself, who have flaws, scrapes and scabs that are deep seeded.

I think no matter where we all are, we think we are doing good, or doing the "right" thing. And that, to me, is the beauty of individuality.

We are all on our own individual treks.

I always want to remain innocent, yet wise.

If I am not experiencing that innocence throughout my day, I feel a sort of deadness.

I don't compare myself to anyone.

I have my own "rules of thumb" for a good life.

It may not be the same as Sally or Joe's, but I do have to say that I feel genuinely good when I think of my vision, or my thoughts for people and life, and the whole.

I don't know what I have done, or where I have been in the past that brings me to this sacred place, and really, I don't question it, but I do know that I am here for a reason, and it IS SPECIFIC!

Beyond that? I cannot tell you!

All I have is this precious moment, here on a  Friday night.

I grilled a steak. I layed on my deck talking to one of my dogs, rubbing his belly, staring at the stars that are so darn bright tonight........

I giggled.

I thought about the absurdity of it all.......you know, this life, and all of it's charades............ and it faded into the back round.

I closed my eyes and connected to the source that fills me. Call it what you want!

I don't have to name it. Really, I don't!

It feels like a shame at times, for people who ask "How do you get there"?

I DO have a "formula" of sorts, that works for me. That is all I can say.

Everyone will do as they will and how they see fit for their lives.

I will always be here as a conduit, or some kinda cheerleader who will root for you to come "HOME".

Thank you so much for being a part of my life.

I am ever so grateful!

Love,
Gabriela