So one of our new procedures at work is to escort our workers to the dumpsters. It's got a lock and key and such on it, and so, when it is time, we take whoever has that task to the dumpster, and well.............we do the trash thing.
It is always an interesting few minutes to me. Many don't speak English. I have my own rendition of how to speak Spanish, and it's gotten better, but for the most part, we connect by way of body language and Gabriela- isms. They laugh, so do I, and it makes for the sweetest connection.
I do plan to get better with Spanish, but for right now, languages and numbers aren't my fav.
There is one worker, amongst many, whom I have a soft spot for. They are all different in their way, and all have such a sweet charm and actually, an old fashioned - ness about them that is endearing, and I guess, too, for sure, I play the mother role, and see these guys everyday, listen to them, hear their stories, their everyday lives, and want to always make sure they are OK, even if I never say a word about it. I am so happy to see them everyday, and truly, I do, feel like I have a little nest of babies.
So, I was on the way out to take the trash with one of the workers, and he is so motivated, so hard working, so eager to please and never says no to anything I ask.
We got to talking about many things on the way to the dumpster. He has lived a very difficult life, and well, I could share a ton of things, but to keep this somewhat safe, I will leave most details out, and you can fill in the blanks.
His life hadn't been very smooth, and from early on in age, he knew he wanted to become a fighter..........a boxer!
Well, if anyone knows me, the mere mention of boxing and I am lit up like a Christmas Tree.
He told some stories of when he was a kid and how he was, and what he dreamed of.
I felt I would have to share some of my stories since they were so parallel.
We talked of our love for boxing, and why. We spoke of our childhoods, and how we were fighters, inside and out.
He dreams of becoming a boxer one day, and I admire that, for many reasons. Some obvious, and some not.
Over the years, I have only gotten one person to go to a boxing match with me.
Boxing is a passion of mine, since I was 5.
My brothers taught me to box, to move, to dodge, to spar, and to defend myself in any given situation.
I've used it, for play, for sport, and for survival.
Walking back to the restaurant, I wanted to walk slow, to grasp our conversation. It wasn't just some regular conversation.................. it stuck to me.
It would take all night to relay all that we talked about.
There is such a beauty and a reverence for someone who has been on the dark side, and also, too, on the bright side.
This man, has not had a pretty life, but is smiling everyday, as helpful as could be, so loving, and works harder than anyone I know.
He is an old soul.
As we walked back to the restaurant, he said, "I am going to be a fighter one day".
I said, " There have been several fights I have wanted to go to here in Austin, but no one wants to go with me".............. want to go? He was elated. I felt like I was standing next to a brother.
Well, we went back in, and off to our busy night.
After I got home and relaxed a bit, off of a crazy night, I panned back on to going to the dumpster, and thought, how funny is this life.............really!
The best time, out of the entire evening, was walking to the dumpster, with X, listening to his story, his love, his passion, and his desire to overcome every hurdle in his life, to do what he wants to do, to share his passions that are overflowing so freely, and to see, that there is not ONE SINGLE JUDGEMENT ON HIM FOR ANYTHING.
He may walk around with thoughts that he is not good enough, or worthy of such things that he desires, and here I stand, looking at him with such reverence, for being his own individual, for being a fighter in his life, and for standing up for what he believes is good.
His life is in no way perfect. If you were to hear of it, you might judge it.
I........simply............cannot.
I see this little boy............and I get so filled up.
It allows me the stance of stepping back in my own life, to view it with total compassion, and to see that I am that same little girl, with survival things, with gusto, with a passion for life, and a way to release that energy, whether it be boxing, or writing, or expressing myself creatively.
No matter the release, I do have a focus and a way to let it out.
There are so many ways.
It just so happens that boxing is one of my passions.
It isn't so much the external fight, or hitting, or any of that.............. I think it is an external way of releasing the inner fight we have had, in a conducive way.
I finished my night and got home.
I went upstairs to my gym.
I printed out this photo recently of a boxer, down on his knees, bowing, with his arms wrapped up. It spoke to me so loudly, I wanted it hung up for me to see, everyday. The symbolism is so laden with truth, it is overwhelming!!
I stood there and looked at the photo. I cried thinking of X and the stories he had told me tonight.
I looked over at my weights and barbells, and then saw my two pair of boxing gloves hanging there. I honestly just froze there for a moment.
I knew that one pair of those boxing gloves would have to be given to my little friend at work. I saw the photo, and thought for sure, I should copy that off, frame it, and give it to him, for inspiration, as it has been for me, in so many ways.
He's only 20 maybe 21, but such an old, old, soul! So giving so loving, and gentle as a deer.
It's so funny....the giving thing, ya know. People take things so wrong, when really, some things are just given out of sheer innocence and caring.
All I could think of was my excitement to wrap these gloves in a box, with a framed picture of that boxer, and to write something short, that expressed my gratitude for our walk to the "dumpster".
Very simple. Nothing else.
I wish for all of his dreams to come true, to live the best life he can, with all of his passions and desires, and to be happy in his skin.............. with all of the labels that go along with his persona.
My heart is so full of love and compassion.
Not just for this little soul, but for all of you, who have goals, desires and loves, that maybe you think is too far out of your reach.
NOTHING IS OUT OF YOUR REACH! NOTHING!
You want to be a boxer? Than THAT, you will be!!!
What is it that will push you to the edge?
Is it just needing someone to listen? Not even doing any thing, but just someone that will listen to your hearts desires?
If so............... plunge away! Those people will appear as soon as you believe that you will be supported!
Live your best life.............as close to what you visualize as you can...if not............spot on!
Get right on the money.
And............if you get the opportunity to tell someone that they can do it no matter what............please do................ WE ALL NEED SOMEONE..............SOMEONE TO TELL US THAT WE CAN HAVE ANYTHING WE WANT.................. not just as a tale, but as a Truth............a real reality that we are capable of any and everything we so desire.
I am so incredibly grateful for my "walk to the garbage"............my incredibly precious moments that I feel honored for......................to have been able to listen to one soul...........it's passions, grievances, and hopes.............for itself................ to overcome.................... to rise above.............and come out on top................... of itself.................
to not be fooled by what we sometimes tell ourselves.....................
that couldn't be more far............from the beautiful truth that lies within.
THANK YOU......THANK YOU................THANK YOU.................
~
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