THE ART OF DOING NOTHING

OK, so I really do want to know who wrote that book, because I am sure they were left a grand sum of money by someone, that allowed them to soak in that bath tub for hours on end, night after night, and to make it to the beach everyday, lying there in the sand, twiddling their toes. What grandparent died, and how much did they leave ya, cuz my bathtub hasn't seen bubbles since the last time I had a wild champagne party.

Kidding.

Sounded good though.

All kidding aside, I do know what it is like to DO NOTHING and totally enjoy it, but I will tell you it is like fighting a wild tiger to finally get to DO NOTHING.

I am beginning to adhere to the saying, "money talks", because money bides time, or allows time, and really, gives you a ton of freedoms that you otherwise would not have, if it weren't for that almighty green piece of paper with ugly men on them. Where were the Mrs? How bout a together picture every once in awhile? Men, taking up the spot light again. Go figure! I'd probably save my dollars more if Mrs. Franklin made her way "out of the kitchen", ahem!!

How do families do it? Or should I say single moms or single dads? At least with a couple, they have shared duties and you split stuff up, but man oh, man, how does one have enough hours in the day to accomplish all that you desire, all that you plan for, and eat? Sitting down would be nice.

Unless you are Oprah and you stay up till 4 am reading the book you are promoting the next day.

I love doing the nothing that happens when you DO HAVE TOO MUCH TO DO, and you say, "what the hey" anyway, and you take the time to breathe and to inhale a new breath to actually get you through to the next thing you have on your list. I need those breaks.

It is such a balancing act to put all your cards out on your table, figure what you need, how your gonna get it, and start juggling.

I think to just stay currant on all of those things, putting it out there, and relaxing into a plan sounds meaty, something that works, without great strain, or setting yourself up for failure.

When you do give yourself permission to do nothing, it allows you to fill your empty cup, with new ideas, new inspiration, and a more objective perspective.

So, even in the times that we think we don't have time, I think that just may be the best time to do what seems unnatural in that moment, which is, to do............nothing!

Fill your cup guys. I'm going, doing, undoing, learning, unlearning, doing everything, and nothing.

Don't let the pendulum swing too far where it gives you a swift kick in the butt........... try to balance........ I have too many bruises from swinging on that pendulum......... I never was good at see/saw. I always wanted to go super high, but when it came time for me to just slightly touch bottom, I always came crashing down and probably distorted my tail bone or somethin'.
Easy does it. Up slow, down slow, and maybe every once in awhile, kick it in high gear near the middle just to shake things up a bit.

And in all of this, make it fun.......... cuz whether we are doing nothing or every thing under the sun, it would be nice to know, at the end of our journey, that we worked hard and laughed our asses off for all of those damn wrinkles.

REALLY, NO WORDS COULD EXPRESS

.........just how exquisite tonight is!

I mean, look, the time is 1:58 am. I am awake, so in awe of the full moon, the breeze that is needing attention, and how the day has gone so far, I really don't need anything else really........ I have food, and good food, of course....... Italian, don't forget.....( we could be in the greatest depression, and I would have a gourmet meal for you).

I wonder, GREATLY, how people exist without taking an inner break?

Check out where you are, having nights, or days, to just "be", to contemplate what your goals are, what you will do to make them happen, and if or if not, you are happy with the status quo.

Tonight...........my life, seriously, could not be any better. I really don't even want to express, (which is an oddity in and of itself), the feeling that is overwhelming me.

I don't know how long I have here. Things happen, ya know. Out of the blue, too! I've seen it happen. Why wouldn't it happen to me, if need be?

That is why, I want to get good with myself, in every which way. To make good, to come to terms, to forgive, to forget, to surrender, to heal, and to be happy to see each and every customer that comes to me......... even if I think they are a pain, but really, where I am, I take any and everybody on........no one seems to be a pain, everyone is such a great, great, example, a great comedy, and a great teacher for me, so seriously, if something were to happen to me sooner than later, I'd be really good with myself.

I feel FULL!

Good in my skin, with all of my learning's, with all of my progressions, and every other word that would describe change, personified. CHANGE, CHANGE, CHANGE!

Did someone say, change?

I am charged with life tonight!

I have to go to sleep. Thank God I have off tomorrow.

My charge will have to transpire into a dream............ maybe I will make a dream, of some sort, come true.

Maybe one of my desires will come to fruition.

Maybe I will come up with a way to be a non profit organization to help the kids in Africa, who's parents all died of Aids? Maybe one life will be saved!!!

How nice would that be? Go to a movie, eat dinner out, or save a life for some innocent kid that doesn't know nothin' from nothin............ I've seen it............ I've been there.......and saw what their existence is.............. we cannot go on as spoiled brats.

Who's gonna help me here?

Is there anyone daring enough? Really?? Reach out to me man.............. there is so much to do......... so many lives that need attention............. I'll back you up 100%...... just let me know.

My heart is full........so damn full I could bust..............

My love is eternal................

Thank you for this life full of opportunity.

It is appreciated everyday, every moment.

Me

BREATHE.....YOU ARE ALIVE!

In all of this craziness........whatever your story tells on a daily basis, surely different than mine or the man next door......... we DO HAVE THE CHOICE, to BREATHE............. you know, that thing that we do all day long?

That thing that sustains us? Yea, let's not forget about that OK? After all, where would we be without our breath?

I sat and read a book tonight, that I read to my mother, on her death bed.

This is not to be a sad blog, just factual stuff.

Anyway, I just moved, and am still setting up shop, and tonight, was doing my bookshelves. My sacred, sacred books, the written "scriptures" of any and everything that has been an interest and passion, sit on those book shelves, and I wiped every book clean, and took care of them like they were gold.

Anyway, I found the book that I brought to the ICU unit, when my brothers and sister called me to tell me that it didn't look good for Mom.

I threw my clothes in a suitcase, and gathered anything that meant something to me, just in case she passed. It was a wild couple of hours. As I was showering, this guttural thing came over me, contemplating what could possibly happen? Of course, Mom isn't going to check out??!! Right?

Anyway, I threw my Buddha statue in the suitcase, some significant books, pictures of us 5 kids, and some things that I knew would be close and dear to my mom. I gathered the Cd's that she would love, and on the plane I went.

I don't mean to make this sound so quick and unemotional. Yes, it was quick, and yes, extremely emotional, but my point to this whole thing was not about my mom's death, that really, just came as an after thought, to..............BREATHE YOU ARE ALIVE.

Why?

Well, my Mom did have Emphysema and Asthma, so, breathing was the major issue.

I thought if I brought my book Breathe You are Alive, book by Thich Nhat Hanh, I could read some verses out of it, to her, to maybe just put it out there, that I could give her the Breath of Life, and do some healing exercises, that maybe some God would step in and help me along to save her from whatever it was that was happening for her.

Well, making a long story short, the book made it to her room. I made an altar in her room with my statues, a picture of us 5 kids, Rosary Beads that I bought for her at the Vatican in Rome, and anything that would possibly make for The Gift of Grace to kick in to save this soul's life.

My sister and I stayed in the room, and it was quiet, and Mom was semi sleeping, and we were trying to think of anything to do that was healing, and conducive to the situation that, thrown into, who would have any idea how to handle, but we somehow had the strength of who or what, I don't know, but we came together in such unison, and something came over us, and there was no question as to where to find strength, or courage, or anything, to be present in the moment, to Mom, and to each other, and to what needed to happen for that being, and for us.

We both meditated, and started doing deep breathing exercises while scanning her body with our hands just above her body, to possibly infuse her with our breath, the intensity of our will, to bring life to a body that was ready to check out on us at any moment.

I reached for my book, Breathe, You are Alive, and had marked some pages while I was on the plane, and started reading some chapters to her, and in the meantime, we both were doing the exercises and giving our heart and soul, for lack of better words, to find a ray of light to give.

Even though there was a book, and words written by someone else, there was a mystical happening........... in that room, as my sister and I read, and breathed, for Mom, in hopes that our efforts would help her to stay with us.

It had to be THE MOST SACRED MOMENT IN MY LIFETIME, to be there with my sister, doing this sort of ritual, this healing, standing above our Mother, giving her our all!! We were pillars for her, and for each other, and a life of it's own transpired, without any thought, without any fear, just a strong willed passion to merge with another human being, to give your everything to see if miracles can happen.......... with this person that happened to be our mother.

BREATHE YOU ARE ALIVE, is an amazing book that teaches you, or anyone, the divine gift in staying connected to your breath. Not to take advantage of what we absolutely need everyday, to function, to do any and everything. Without it, we are.........on our death beds.

Don't take your breath for granted. If it is in any way, at risk, you will see how incredibly fortunate we are to have each living breath, inhaling, and exhaling. And.........if you were to witness someone at risk, you will immediately gain an understanding of how incredibly sacred our breath is, and how we spend so much time worrying about this and that, and all the while, all we needed to do was BREATHE, in the moment, and it carries you to where you need to be next, or in that very moment in time.

Get acquainted with your Breath. It breathes YOU............... you need IT!!

Don't take it for granted. It sustains us guys.

BREATHE.........YOU ARE, IN FACT, ALIVE!!!!!!! DON'T MISS OUT ON YOUR ALIVENESS.

Also, in your conscious decision to be aware of your breath, you give life to others, who may need it more than you do.

Stay awake.

Someone may need you too!

Thank you for the opportunity to always share my heart.

I know these are long, but my heart outstretches these small boxes with lettering.

Grateful, beyond belief, nonetheless.

I love you,
Gabriela

SENSUALITY............

.......doesn't necessarily mean, SEXUALITY!

I love talking with people about this subject. It is always interesting to me how people view their thoughts, their feelings, and their body language when it comes to "sensuality".

I am not sure if they are lazy, and think that they are one in the same, or that sensuality is a "girl" thing, or that sensuality must equal, sex, in some way.

No matter the opinion, it is YOURS! ( Oh, that freedom thing again).

To me, sensuality CAN in fact be a part of sexuality, but, by no means, does it stop there!

In fact, for me, it doesn't even begin there.

Sensuality to me is a way of being. A way of feeling passionate about your life, your self, and what is around you. How you perceive your environment, or how you look at the blade of grass that is swaying before your eyes.

Sensuality is feeling your natural, individual, "oats". Your sense of yourself as a human being, an entity, in and of itself. Feeling aroused by nature, by your essence, your bubbled sense of life and what it offers you, and in turn, how you share that with the world.

To me? That is sensual! Sharing your innermost love, gratitude, vulnerability (yes, js, that is correct), and raw self, to get to the core of what is real and true.

Now, am I negating sensuality that comes along with your sexuality? No! Just saying, it really could have little, or nothing to do with it at all! If you let it, is the key. If you let it, and open yourself up to THAT kind of sensuality, you will see that there are more options in your life than you may have imagined. Don't laugh........ it's........well.....it's grand.......

If it does come along with your sexuality, good for you! Kill two birds with one stone, but don't use that as your visual, by all means!

Don't put your essence in a box that says, " sexuality means a physical thing, or being with someone intimately, or any other visual you may have. Think of sensuality as being fully awake and alive in your soul, allowing your most passionate self to move through you, no matter what it is...it could be your job, your hopes, your dreams, your love and zest for life............who knows, but please don't put in a box with sex. FEEL YOURSELF FEEL THAT PASSION THROUGH WHATEVER IT IS AND DON'T FEEL FUNNY..........OR OUT OF PLACE. After all, who said that that one word had to be equated with an act of some sort? Tell me who it is and we'll go have a chat.........or a debate, not sure, I'll let it unfold.

Feel good tonight, feel passionate about............ I don't know, list some things........... and get cozy in those thoughts and revel in them, and make them a fixation like you would a first date. GO FOR YOUR PASSION!

It's funny to me, because if we have a crush, or are interested in someone, it immediately becomes this thing, this fixation, this, "I must have", thing, and it is cute, to me, so child like.

(Quick story) Like when I was in the 4th grade, walking home from school with my "crush", and his mother worked for Hallmark, so we walked home from school, to Hallmark, and we went inside to say hi to his mom, and he pretended like he had garbage to throw away, so he walked outside with a handful of garbage to take to the dumpster, in back of the Hallmark. Of course, I followed. We went to the dumpster, stared at the dumpster, he threw the garbage in, and we stood there, like, OK, is there any more garbage anywhere? Anyone? Garbage? Shall we surf the neighborhood? It was quiet, and we looked around. Hmmm.....

He ran over and kissed my cheek and I pretended he didn't do it. I ran home and so did he.

Cute story, and very memorable, but nonetheless, childlike, and how we should be in all of life!!

I think of him to this day!

What was my point now?

I got caught up in the 4th grade. What a moment in time. I can see and feel that day as if it were today.

Get cozy in your thoughts. Make them like a first date. Get fuzzy with your fixation. It will become more real, and make it your "sensuality". Merge with whatever it is that you want, and feel it to the bone.

That is all I am going to say. The rest is up to you.

We all have our individual ways of making things work. This may be mine. You don't have to adopt it, but........ check it out. Just a bit. See what you think.

You don't have to tell anyone, or me.

I wouldn't steer ya wrong. But........... to each his own.

Tonight..........is utterly sensual, and sure ain't doin' nothin' but hangin' with 4 dogs, a cat, some good smellin' food, and music to break ya wide open.

I'll have a Marlboro Light please!

SLEEP PEACEFULLY

Hopefully at the end of your day, you brush off all that has transpired, you start to unleash all that energy that was pent up, or supressed, and you allow it to go through a filter that will catch all the debri.

After all, it seems only fair that we give that little amount of time for the hell we put ourselves through during the day.

When I say hell, it really doens't mean some grueling thing, althought, s ometimes it could be.

Take some spare moments before bed to reflect on you day, change some things that may be going wrong, or compliment yourself at how awesome of a person you are!

Yes, that would mean, look at yourself in the mirror, and tell yourself YOU ARE OK, and go for it.....really go for it!!

Lemme know how it goes............

PRESENT MOMENT EQUALS FULLY ALIVE

WOW, so many things you think you understand because they have been said over and over again, experienced over and over again, and then, you shop life, buy into this, buy into that, and sometimes, when you are buying just a bit too much, you seem to sell out. You have just sold the very essence of your soul, for "goods".

And, I don't mean clothing or shoes, or food, or luxuries. Of course that would fit into the equation, but what I am talking about is buying into what your head tells you that you should or should not be doing, where or where not you should be, or who with, or with what amount of money, what job is good for you, what you SHOULD be doing, and where, how, and the list perpetuates until you find yourself so wound up in your head that you cannot even enjoy where the hell you are in your life, good, bad, or indifferent, because you just took the most catastrophic ride through the maze of life, called........ your BRAIN!

Where is the life in spending time in such thought? And who are we to believe that we are right in just where we think we need to be?

I am not saying we shouldn't have thoughts about what we would like to do, or who with, or make a plan to do something we love, or want to achieve, but then there is serendipity, or fate, or whatever word fits your own style. There is that timing thing that has nothing to do with us. The mystical reasoning behind how things "just happen". I think if I take that road in expressing myself, I'll wind up going off on a tangent, so let me stay clear here on just what the deal is, the true point.

I know for me, I don't want to miss out on the very things that I love doing, love sharing, and who it may be with, or where, and how, and all of the lovely details. And then I take a look at my life, as it is right now, and say, well, none of those things are happening, and you find yourself in a whirlwind of, "but how do I get there, how can I finagle doing it with this person, or why aren't I doing this NOW, AND THAT NOW? Why do I have to wait? Life is too short, I have to bust a move, make a plan, get things going and be on top of it, or it won't happen.

All of these things are true. No one will help you do the things you want unless you make an effort, BUT.....I know for me, I cannot discount the very things that ARE IN MY LIFE, and what is happening, no matter what it looks like, because somewhere in there, I DID ASK FOR IT, whether it be to be more independent, to be more free, to live more peacefully, more true to who I am, and all of the details that follow. They get subtle, but make sense.

It kind of reminds me of going to school for something you are passionate about, but when it comes to certain tests, and exams, we all of a sudden get bored or are uninterested because we just wanted the end result, not all of this crap in between. Well, reality stands that, you cannot get from A to Z without going through the alphabet right? Unless you are a cheater, and even then, who are you cheating, really, but yourself?

There are gems to be found in the present moment of where you are RIGHT NOW. You may have to do some digging to get to those gems, but trust me, they are there if you give yourself enough quiet time to seek them out. In my experience, if you don't give yourself that quality time to get that quiet, to go on the search for the true gems, you might as well go to the nearest pawn shop and buy some cheap ass gem stone that was refurbished from who knows where, and call it your "gold".

You will never find the real goods by taking the easy way out. It becomes the band aid for life, the proverbial "It's all good" attitude, and under the rug it all goes. Who knows when you'll do a deep clean, ya know what I mean?

If I'm losin' ya........ head to the pawn shop. Cuz this is where it begins. Ask yourself those very questions.

Look. Sometimes, I can say when I dig for my gems, " I'm tired of digging". I wanna play now. And maybe I put the shovel down for awhile and give it a rest, but my soul loves gem stones too, too much to not pick that shovel back up again.

Present moment equalls WHERE YOU ARE NOW, and having an unconditional relationship with it. In all of it's glory, it's pitfalls, it's sadness, pain, suffering, desires, you name the mood. Embrace the present moment and know it is part of your journey for a reason, and it is there to teach you something that you more than likely asked for, it just looks a bit different. But if you do some good ol' diggin', you'll see that it pretty much does equate, in a different kind of way, the very essence of some things you said you wanted, or asked for. Check it out, if you can follow. It gets good, ya know, it's not all that bad. Depends, I've been on all kinds of ends. Some don't feel pretty, but you do look and go, mmmm hhhhmmmm ok, and what gem do we have here today? Can I look through a rose colored glass today? Just for a moment? And ya know what? Sometimes that feels damn good. Have a rest, have glass of wine, a margarhita, and kick up your heels.

Unconditional relationship with oneself. WOW! What a cool thought! How can we attract that if we don't have it for ourselves?

Be OK with the spot you are in, in your life, right now, and let it go. God hears your whispers, your call for exactly what you want. Be with wherever you are, fully, and let go of the "I am not where I want to be" thoughts, and see what happens.

Be easy on yourself, and you will see that you feel lighter, rejuvenated, and inspired, with even more of a passion to move forward and embrace whatever life offers, or what you have created for yourself. Hopefully, it will be a good combination of both, and you will seek to find the gems, and also, the gems will have been glad to FIND YOU!

I am stoked! I'm reading my blog too guys! It's for all of us to share, and to support one another, and to let each other know that we are not alone in our emotions, our journey, our triumphs, or losses. We are here to hold hands and help each other step up to the plate of life. Some of us have huge plates, some small. No one better than the other.

Grab your friends hands and support them and give them your ear. You too will need it at some point.

Share, share, share............... STAY IN THE MOMENT.........FULLY ALIVE, IN ALL OF ITS WONDER AND GLORY, EVEN IF IT DOESN'T LOOK LIKE IT.................it's there for you to cuddle up to, and make a part of you.

The more you understand, the more you smile, and wink at God, for being the perfectionist that he is.

Use your own words to make that work for ya. The essence remains the same.

The World is your Oyster.

Go get the cocktail and crackers.

Too much love to ever express,
Gabriela

WHEN IN DOUBT, DO NOTHING!

Life is a colorful mix of so many things. We really work our brains overtime. It' s like there's an internal clock ticking, subliminally telling us we only have so much time to go and do and accomplish and create, and procreate, and succeed, and volunteer, and fulfill your hearts desires, and fulfill your passions, make people happy, do your best, and time is still ticking, and WOW, you graduated, you are making your way in the working world, you get an allotted time off to squeeze in your hobbies, time to play with Fido, time to explore relationships, and time, hopefully, to check yourself out, outside of all of those things, to see just where you are, on your ladder of life, and to make sure you are in alignment with where you see yourself headed.

How many hours in our day again? That's what I thought.........not THAT MANY to accommodate all of those things without having grown some grey hairs along the way.

It is a lot to stay focused and centered on exactly what we want at all times, to stay in alignment, to make sure we aren't taking life too seriously, and, to make sure that in the moments that we do need to get somewhat serious, we do, and maybe that is what it takes for us to accomplish the things that we want and need for ourselves.

Life is a trip!! To take time and look at all the variables, and your own unique way of accessing what life is about for you, is something worth taking an hour or so, out of your day, to scope it out, objectively, without anyone else's input, to be alone, and to smile at your accomplishments, your little journey so far, and to applaud that you have made it thus far.

It is such a balancing act. We couldn't have our lives complete, really, without the characters that come in and out, for very specific reasons, whether it be for 5 minutes or 5 years, they are in our lives for a reason. And, our journey wouldn't be the same without those very specific characters, helping us along, helping us to laugh, to see from a different perspective, to just be there, as a friend, or a sibling, or a co-worker, who ever it may be. They are in your life for a reason. I love that!

I think along my way, of the many people who have passed through, and how very important and poignant they were and visa versa. It's the road map of life. I celebrate those people, who are still here, and the ones who aren't. It doesn't mean they aren't still in my heart of hearts. They were there, and made my mark in this life worthwhile. Hopefully they feel the same.

Life is a quick moving river. It really is. And no telling how the river is, ya know? Bumpy with a bunch of rocks, or smooth sailing......it's the chance you take when you enter the boat, on that ride. Put on the "life jacket"cuz you damn well might need it.

You don't know where that river is going to take you. You may set sail to head East, when in fact, the boat is obviously taking you West. Don't fight the current. For some reason, you need to go West. If it is that tough to go East, then maybe West is a good ride! But, but.......I didn't plan West........well, there are a lot of things that we didn't plan, and we buckle up and move forward right? Maybe West is good. You won't know until you travel that road. West could be the shit!

Way better than East. Maybe East was stale and boring. Not challenging enough. Who knows?

Go West my friend. Head to the path of least resistance. There really is something to be said about that statement.

And, if you are in doubt about East, or West, DO NOTHING!! Simply, relax and allow life to unfold, and you will be able to discern whether it feels good or not, and then, you access, rethink and apply what you need to for your awesome journey. No one is glued to a compass. You go and do as you please, with a few considerations.

You really are not paralyzed or stuck in any one situation. It may take you a little bit to get out of your straight jacket, but EVERYONE can be HOUDINI. There is ALWAYS A WAY OUT, of ANY given situation. You may have this our that, or this responsibility or whatever your scenario is, but you have the choice to paint your life in full color, the way you want it.

When in doubt, DO NOTHING. Take however long it takes you to get centered, calm, and clear on where you want to go. Take your time and paint slowly. Create a damn good picture. Don't do it half assed! (remember I am an east coaster, so let me curse g....d it!!) haha

SEE THE PICTURE............ VISUALIZE IT............... SEE EVERY DETAIL.............. SLOWLY START TO PAINT............. AND SOON.................... your natural, innate abilities will kick in and "reward" you for taking the time to scope it all out, to paint a clear picture, and to actually start to paint the EXACT PICTURE YOU WANT!

There is a sort of reward for being pure in your intentions. It feels so good to dig to the heart of your soul, dig out the guts of it, and lay it all out on the table. Sort through it like you are doing a jig saw puzzle, and then start putting it together. WOW! I just got the most incredible chills thinking how amazing it is that we actually are given CHOICES to do EXACTLY what we want in this life!

ONCE AGAIN............FREEDOM OF CHOICE IS A BEAUTIFUL THING. WE ARE TRULY BLESSED.

Wow. I think I have to end on that note. Pretty powerful stuff right there. Realize, when you are complaining or feeling like you can't do this or do that...............yes you frigin can!

We are THE MOST SPOILED NATION!

I just told a friend that I had missed doing my blog for a few days, and she said sometimes it is good to take a break. And I said, ya know, yea, but sitting to write, for me, brings me right back to where I need to be. It answers my own plaguing questions, settles my soul, calms my anciness, and keeps me exactly where I need to be.

Thank you for being the recipients of my little writings, my thoughts, and for giving me the opportunity to share my most vulnerable self, that ignites a consciousness in me, to help me gain an amazing clarity of who I am, and for you the reader, the friends, who maybe get something, that they can take along their way, and maybe I will be one of those people that you look back on, and say, " She was a mark on MY journey, and made it worthwhile", as you all have been for me.

My heart is so soft, grateful, and ever so gracious for this tiny little thing called a BLOG.

Go figure!

I love you guys,
May your hearts be touched by grace.

Gabriela