If love is not
allowed
to
flow
it becomes
Fear.
If love is
allowed
to
flow
Fear
Disappears.
~
Tuesday, July 27, 2010
Monday, July 26, 2010
THANK YOU
Say
thank
you
to all
of your
yesterdays.
It brought
you
to
where
you
are
now
and
whether
you
know it
or not
It has
served
your
soul
well!
~
thank
you
to all
of your
yesterdays.
It brought
you
to
where
you
are
now
and
whether
you
know it
or not
It has
served
your
soul
well!
~
NEVER A LOSS, JUST A GAIN!
The more I feel at a loss for something, or someone, the more I realize, I'm gaining........on ALL LEVELS,
understood, and not understood!
The NOT understood part, can really be perplexing. Kind of like if a kid were to walk to get candy at the corner store, all excited and wondering and thinking about what he was going to eat first, even tasting it, in their mind, whole hearted, before they even got it! Their mouth had never been so alive, with such flavors, such sensations, yet, somehow on their journey, they had taken a few back roads.
Why can't I find the "corner store" where I know I will find all of my tasty treasures?"
Finally, they get "there", and there it is......the most delicious candy, every bit of it that they envisioned, and somehow, with a surprised look on their face, they realized that the candy actually tasted much better ON THE WAY to finding it, in their mind, than actually indulging in it.
The more I feel at a loss, the more I know I have gained!
More times, than not, these days, I know I am not missing out on anything, but candy IS candy, and it IS comforting, yet, oh so fleeting!
Waking up with a quietude that you can never replace, and a clarity about your life that would never be the same, by going to the "corner store" every time we wanted something sweet, is completely unexplainable, yet incredibly exquisite!!!!!!
Comfort lies in knowing who you are, outside of all wants and needs!
If you can live with yourself, do for yourself, and really love what you see in the mirror everyday, than you will be able to welcome all the sweets in the world, be able to pick and choose WHEN and IF you want those sweets, with total confidence, that whether you have a "sweet tooth" or not, you can buy, or not buy, and still feel satiated as if you had indulged yourself silly!
One way or the other, you are never at a loss, because the "candy" is just icing on the cake, not the "cake" itself!
I'm gaining so much, that my sweet tooth has taken a back seat!
Hooray for that "diet plan".
Loving all aspects of my life!
It's full, and charged with a solid, singular love, for all things!
~
understood, and not understood!
The NOT understood part, can really be perplexing. Kind of like if a kid were to walk to get candy at the corner store, all excited and wondering and thinking about what he was going to eat first, even tasting it, in their mind, whole hearted, before they even got it! Their mouth had never been so alive, with such flavors, such sensations, yet, somehow on their journey, they had taken a few back roads.
Why can't I find the "corner store" where I know I will find all of my tasty treasures?"
Finally, they get "there", and there it is......the most delicious candy, every bit of it that they envisioned, and somehow, with a surprised look on their face, they realized that the candy actually tasted much better ON THE WAY to finding it, in their mind, than actually indulging in it.
The more I feel at a loss, the more I know I have gained!
More times, than not, these days, I know I am not missing out on anything, but candy IS candy, and it IS comforting, yet, oh so fleeting!
Waking up with a quietude that you can never replace, and a clarity about your life that would never be the same, by going to the "corner store" every time we wanted something sweet, is completely unexplainable, yet incredibly exquisite!!!!!!
Comfort lies in knowing who you are, outside of all wants and needs!
If you can live with yourself, do for yourself, and really love what you see in the mirror everyday, than you will be able to welcome all the sweets in the world, be able to pick and choose WHEN and IF you want those sweets, with total confidence, that whether you have a "sweet tooth" or not, you can buy, or not buy, and still feel satiated as if you had indulged yourself silly!
One way or the other, you are never at a loss, because the "candy" is just icing on the cake, not the "cake" itself!
I'm gaining so much, that my sweet tooth has taken a back seat!
Hooray for that "diet plan".
Loving all aspects of my life!
It's full, and charged with a solid, singular love, for all things!
~
Sunday, July 25, 2010
AS LONG AS I KNOW....
..That I have loved,
fully
and
expressed myself
entirely~
I have
no
expectations
of
receiving
something
in return.
It makes me shiver.
The knowing
that I am able to leave
it
at that!
To love
from such an
amazing
detached
way!
I'm not saying'
I'm there
a hundred
percent
but man
I have to tell you....
being "here"
only
somewhat
ENLIGHTENS ME
and gives me the OOOMMPPPHHHH
to go the whole
entire
mile!
I want to
LOVE!
THAT
IS
ALL!
~
fully
and
expressed myself
entirely~
I have
no
expectations
of
receiving
something
in return.
It makes me shiver.
The knowing
that I am able to leave
it
at that!
To love
from such an
amazing
detached
way!
I'm not saying'
I'm there
a hundred
percent
but man
I have to tell you....
being "here"
only
somewhat
ENLIGHTENS ME
and gives me the OOOMMPPPHHHH
to go the whole
entire
mile!
I want to
LOVE!
THAT
IS
ALL!
~
Saturday, July 24, 2010
END THE THING........
....that you think you cannot hurdle over!
NOTHING.... HAS A GRIP ON YOU, I PROMISE!
It's all just a thought, and you are just a thought away from being back to yourself, at your core, where all things are just the way you want them, just as you see them, feel them and taste them!
The only way these things will persist is if YOU LET THEM!
"Rest is going to come, when you let it".
Mary Chapin Carpenter
NOTHING.... HAS A GRIP ON YOU, I PROMISE!
It's all just a thought, and you are just a thought away from being back to yourself, at your core, where all things are just the way you want them, just as you see them, feel them and taste them!
The only way these things will persist is if YOU LET THEM!
"Rest is going to come, when you let it".
Mary Chapin Carpenter
Thursday, July 22, 2010
ALWAYS EXPLORE YOUR DREAMS
Ya know, everyone has their wants, dreams and desires. Mine have been pretty consistent since I was a kid.
Really..........they haven't changed one single bit!!
I never thought I would be living in Texas, that is for sure! As a matter of fact, when I was little I would say," I will live anywhere, ANYWHERE BUT TEXAS."
Why? Because I, for one, was so city oriented. After all, I was going to be an actress in Hollywood, write beautiful screenplays, be a director, and that was it. I was California bound, and that was going to be my only stop. I'd make my life from there!
NOT! To my surprise!
I packed up my entire life in Philadelphia, at the time, and said, "I am going to do this thing". I moved to Los Angeles, and loved it for so many reasons. Evey bit of alternative medicine was available, alternative food, I mean shoot, you could go through a drive through "fast food" joint and get Buckwheat Pancakes, and Tofu bacon.......gimme a break. Back then, I was a Vegan, so that pretty much sold me, aside from the alternative lifestyle there, and the openness of everything. I was in heaven.
I shipped my dog and cat, and we soon found ourselves in West Hollywood, with no grass, only sidewalks, and no real trees or parks to be found, at least close to home, like I had back home, at least not in walking distance.
At the time, the consciousness was more appealing to me than a park, so I decided to stay.
There are many stories to be talked about in the time that I was in LA, what transpired, and how my beautiful dog that I had for almost 9 years had to get "adopted out" because it was an attachment I had to get rid of".
That is a whole blog in and of itself!
To this day, my animals are my choice. They are the most beautiful, beloved souls in my life, and my life, by choice, revolves around them. I say that with great respect for them, for their species, for the intelligence that gets overlooked, and for my devotion to something that I think is way beyond my own comprehension.
I know I love animals, dogs especially, but really all mammals and animals. Without sounding corny, I do feel like I understand their language, and we are ONE! There is something that happens with me, and dogs, that is unexplainable!
It has been there since I was a kid, and only in the last several years, have I gotten it, that I am some kind of conduit for them, to speak for them, and to make choices for them, that they cannot obviously make, to honor their life, and what is supposed to happen for them, as a species.
HYMN, I was headed in the direction of dreams.
I thought when I was younger that to accomplish or achieve my goals as, or to be, a writer, I would have to do A through Z, so I investigated, and there, I packed up and moved to LA to accomplish what I thought I wanted.
To be a writer, you don't have to be in LA.
To be anyone or anything, you just NEED TO BE YOU! in whatever spot you are in, in any part of the world.
Well, when I moved to LA, I found myself so attracted to the healthiness of it all. I took Yoga twice a day everyday. I cooked vegetarian food for the Seeks everyday. I was looking to dive so deep into my soul, my consciousness that I was like a bottom feeder looking for any crumb that dropped.
No matter what I did, took Yoga, ran, biked, swam, cooked healthy, meditated.........no matter what I did..... I still did not have the "background" that I deeply wanted. It sounded so UN-spiritual, so UN-hip.
The fact of the matter was. Gabriela wanted land, and lots of it!!
Quiet time to write!
Write screenplays, write poetry, children's books, and maybe a love letter somewhere in there, whether it be for love, itself, or for a lover.
Just give me conducive ground to write, really, and I am a happy camper.
5 months into living in LA, I realized it was not for me, at the time!
I need more grass, more green, more things that equated grounding.
I need to have animals, and too, to be around water, and to have trees........big bushy trees, not palm trees that look so stark and sterile. Don't get me wrong, I love palm trees, but I need homey, bushy trees, that tell stories, like some big ol' oak tree, or a cherry tree that you know some kid climbed to get a dozen cherries.
After moving from LA, and skipping living in New Mexico, and being here in Austin Texas, I see, and feel the difference, and I want land.
There are so many things that all elements give us. The Ocean brings me to my knees, literally, for so many reasons!
The seasons bring me joy, and allow me to feel different emotions.
Everyone is different!
I love quiet. An area that is conducive to the spirit. Trees, land, water, birds, and animals. Room to run for dogs, cats, and any other animal that wishes to surface upon your land.
To traipse upon a coupla deer while on your daily run, or a snake, or a rabbit, is the most exquisite experience, especially if you have a dog in hand, and you get to acknowledge how they respond to nature, and animals.
It is, unequivocally, the most splendid experience you could ever have!
After looming around Marble Falls, and trying to find some different places of interest, I found myself pulling over in Kingsland, to have a "picnic" overlooking the water, while on our journey to find land.
Who knows or really who cares, if I even make it to Marble Falls Texas. It has been an area of attraction for me for a long, long time, and in investigating, I get to figure out if this is THE place for me and where I want to settle.
I am going to build my next house, and I want it to be in beautiful territory. One that will be conducive for my "reclusive" self, and surrounded by the beautiful outdoors, filled with amazing animals, and any other form of species that tells me to pay attention and to not be so consumed with myself.
Your environement tells you so much about who you are, what you are about, and what is ahead for you.
Take a peak. It's great stuff.
Stay inquisitive.
Explore your dreams.
Who care what everyone has to say about you, and your way............
YOU ARE GOOD TO GO!
FOLLOW YOUR HEART!
FOLLOW Y OUR INTUITION, AND NEVER
NEVER
SECOND GUESS IT!
LOVE YOU LIKE CRAZY........MAD, MAD CRAZY!!!!!
~
Our drive was amazing, uplifting
Really..........they haven't changed one single bit!!
I never thought I would be living in Texas, that is for sure! As a matter of fact, when I was little I would say," I will live anywhere, ANYWHERE BUT TEXAS."
Why? Because I, for one, was so city oriented. After all, I was going to be an actress in Hollywood, write beautiful screenplays, be a director, and that was it. I was California bound, and that was going to be my only stop. I'd make my life from there!
NOT! To my surprise!
I packed up my entire life in Philadelphia, at the time, and said, "I am going to do this thing". I moved to Los Angeles, and loved it for so many reasons. Evey bit of alternative medicine was available, alternative food, I mean shoot, you could go through a drive through "fast food" joint and get Buckwheat Pancakes, and Tofu bacon.......gimme a break. Back then, I was a Vegan, so that pretty much sold me, aside from the alternative lifestyle there, and the openness of everything. I was in heaven.
I shipped my dog and cat, and we soon found ourselves in West Hollywood, with no grass, only sidewalks, and no real trees or parks to be found, at least close to home, like I had back home, at least not in walking distance.
At the time, the consciousness was more appealing to me than a park, so I decided to stay.
There are many stories to be talked about in the time that I was in LA, what transpired, and how my beautiful dog that I had for almost 9 years had to get "adopted out" because it was an attachment I had to get rid of".
That is a whole blog in and of itself!
To this day, my animals are my choice. They are the most beautiful, beloved souls in my life, and my life, by choice, revolves around them. I say that with great respect for them, for their species, for the intelligence that gets overlooked, and for my devotion to something that I think is way beyond my own comprehension.
I know I love animals, dogs especially, but really all mammals and animals. Without sounding corny, I do feel like I understand their language, and we are ONE! There is something that happens with me, and dogs, that is unexplainable!
It has been there since I was a kid, and only in the last several years, have I gotten it, that I am some kind of conduit for them, to speak for them, and to make choices for them, that they cannot obviously make, to honor their life, and what is supposed to happen for them, as a species.
HYMN, I was headed in the direction of dreams.
I thought when I was younger that to accomplish or achieve my goals as, or to be, a writer, I would have to do A through Z, so I investigated, and there, I packed up and moved to LA to accomplish what I thought I wanted.
To be a writer, you don't have to be in LA.
To be anyone or anything, you just NEED TO BE YOU! in whatever spot you are in, in any part of the world.
Well, when I moved to LA, I found myself so attracted to the healthiness of it all. I took Yoga twice a day everyday. I cooked vegetarian food for the Seeks everyday. I was looking to dive so deep into my soul, my consciousness that I was like a bottom feeder looking for any crumb that dropped.
No matter what I did, took Yoga, ran, biked, swam, cooked healthy, meditated.........no matter what I did..... I still did not have the "background" that I deeply wanted. It sounded so UN-spiritual, so UN-hip.
The fact of the matter was. Gabriela wanted land, and lots of it!!
Quiet time to write!
Write screenplays, write poetry, children's books, and maybe a love letter somewhere in there, whether it be for love, itself, or for a lover.
Just give me conducive ground to write, really, and I am a happy camper.
5 months into living in LA, I realized it was not for me, at the time!
I need more grass, more green, more things that equated grounding.
I need to have animals, and too, to be around water, and to have trees........big bushy trees, not palm trees that look so stark and sterile. Don't get me wrong, I love palm trees, but I need homey, bushy trees, that tell stories, like some big ol' oak tree, or a cherry tree that you know some kid climbed to get a dozen cherries.
After moving from LA, and skipping living in New Mexico, and being here in Austin Texas, I see, and feel the difference, and I want land.
There are so many things that all elements give us. The Ocean brings me to my knees, literally, for so many reasons!
The seasons bring me joy, and allow me to feel different emotions.
Everyone is different!
I love quiet. An area that is conducive to the spirit. Trees, land, water, birds, and animals. Room to run for dogs, cats, and any other animal that wishes to surface upon your land.
To traipse upon a coupla deer while on your daily run, or a snake, or a rabbit, is the most exquisite experience, especially if you have a dog in hand, and you get to acknowledge how they respond to nature, and animals.
It is, unequivocally, the most splendid experience you could ever have!
After looming around Marble Falls, and trying to find some different places of interest, I found myself pulling over in Kingsland, to have a "picnic" overlooking the water, while on our journey to find land.
Who knows or really who cares, if I even make it to Marble Falls Texas. It has been an area of attraction for me for a long, long time, and in investigating, I get to figure out if this is THE place for me and where I want to settle.
I am going to build my next house, and I want it to be in beautiful territory. One that will be conducive for my "reclusive" self, and surrounded by the beautiful outdoors, filled with amazing animals, and any other form of species that tells me to pay attention and to not be so consumed with myself.
Your environement tells you so much about who you are, what you are about, and what is ahead for you.
Take a peak. It's great stuff.
Stay inquisitive.
Explore your dreams.
Who care what everyone has to say about you, and your way............
YOU ARE GOOD TO GO!
FOLLOW YOUR HEART!
FOLLOW Y OUR INTUITION, AND NEVER
NEVER
SECOND GUESS IT!
LOVE YOU LIKE CRAZY........MAD, MAD CRAZY!!!!!
~
Our drive was amazing, uplifting
Wednesday, July 21, 2010
Tuesday, July 20, 2010
PERSONAL POWER
Once you find out what direction you want to go in your life, you start to feel this extra ordinary sense of empowerment, one that lets you know you can do any darn thing you want, if you just focus, and put your heart and soul into that intention.
Don't let any excuse stand in your way. The more open you are to the possibilities of achieving what you want, without a block of any sort, the more fun it becomes actually going out and doing it as if it is already happening.
I'm not talking Law of Attraction stuff, although I'm pretty sure that stuff goes along those same lines.
To me, I have always done things without any ideas that I COULDN'T, and sure enough, the barriers that I may have thought would hold me back, NEVER DID!
Whatever it is, no degree in Interior Design, but I wound up having a very successful Interior Design business.
Going out and searching for a home for me and my 5 dogs that had a ton of land, and I wanted to build a NEW HOME, (with no money mind you), but I went out house shopping as if I had it. I found the land I wanted, and started to custom design and build my first home. Come to find out, I wind up getting an incredible opportunity personal training and doing nutrition work for a multi-millionaire that asked me to work with him only........ why.........you want to pay me 5 times the amount I charge to work with you SOLELY?
UUUHHH.........OK!
Land bought! House built! Done! And there the Universe supports in gratitude for trusting the process.
That is how I feel today.
I feel so incredibly empowered to do, and go, and achieve all that I want!
I deserve whatever it is that I do want, which isn't anything crazy, but I do have my wants, and I WILL GET THEM.
I am ready to have some fun, play a bunch, have some great people in my life to support and share these great things with, and can't wait to give off some of this love that is festering. And I'm talkin' bout energy, not sex...........haha!
Life is happening, and giving off clues that I haven't yet understood, only felt. My feelers are out!
This week something grand is going to happen. I can feel it. I'm calling it in, and am prepared, (i think), to take on something great!
Watch out..............when I get my oats flowin, great things happen, and I can't wait to share them with all of the ones I love and adore!
You all know who you are.
Thank you for all of your love and support within my last year.
You all are angels, and I appreciate and love you more than you know!
Ride on this little Scorpio's tail..............it's swingin' in the wind, and is ready to conquer!!
Anyone who knows me, knows, that when I am HERE, in this spot, there is no stopping me, and I become the tazmanian devil of attracting every bit of everything that I want and more! It's happening, I tell you, and it is always an amazing carpet ride, a ton of fun, and without a doubt, a pure, loving journey that cannot be compared to anything else!
Who's ready for this ride?
~
Don't let any excuse stand in your way. The more open you are to the possibilities of achieving what you want, without a block of any sort, the more fun it becomes actually going out and doing it as if it is already happening.
I'm not talking Law of Attraction stuff, although I'm pretty sure that stuff goes along those same lines.
To me, I have always done things without any ideas that I COULDN'T, and sure enough, the barriers that I may have thought would hold me back, NEVER DID!
Whatever it is, no degree in Interior Design, but I wound up having a very successful Interior Design business.
Going out and searching for a home for me and my 5 dogs that had a ton of land, and I wanted to build a NEW HOME, (with no money mind you), but I went out house shopping as if I had it. I found the land I wanted, and started to custom design and build my first home. Come to find out, I wind up getting an incredible opportunity personal training and doing nutrition work for a multi-millionaire that asked me to work with him only........ why.........you want to pay me 5 times the amount I charge to work with you SOLELY?
UUUHHH.........OK!
Land bought! House built! Done! And there the Universe supports in gratitude for trusting the process.
That is how I feel today.
I feel so incredibly empowered to do, and go, and achieve all that I want!
I deserve whatever it is that I do want, which isn't anything crazy, but I do have my wants, and I WILL GET THEM.
I am ready to have some fun, play a bunch, have some great people in my life to support and share these great things with, and can't wait to give off some of this love that is festering. And I'm talkin' bout energy, not sex...........haha!
Life is happening, and giving off clues that I haven't yet understood, only felt. My feelers are out!
This week something grand is going to happen. I can feel it. I'm calling it in, and am prepared, (i think), to take on something great!
Watch out..............when I get my oats flowin, great things happen, and I can't wait to share them with all of the ones I love and adore!
You all know who you are.
Thank you for all of your love and support within my last year.
You all are angels, and I appreciate and love you more than you know!
Ride on this little Scorpio's tail..............it's swingin' in the wind, and is ready to conquer!!
Anyone who knows me, knows, that when I am HERE, in this spot, there is no stopping me, and I become the tazmanian devil of attracting every bit of everything that I want and more! It's happening, I tell you, and it is always an amazing carpet ride, a ton of fun, and without a doubt, a pure, loving journey that cannot be compared to anything else!
Who's ready for this ride?
~
Monday, July 19, 2010
DYING
If
we
let
ourselves
die
before
we
die
we
discover
that
death
is nothing
to
fear.
When
we're
willing
to
be
nothing
we
become
everything!
~
we
let
ourselves
die
before
we
die
we
discover
that
death
is nothing
to
fear.
When
we're
willing
to
be
nothing
we
become
everything!
~
Sunday, July 18, 2010
GLAD TO KNOW
Today was the first REAL day that I have had to take my new car out, do what I wanted to, go where I wanted to, and have at it, whatever that may have been.
Before getting a vehicle to drive in, I had so much time to contemplate on how I felt WITHOUT transportation, and the luxury of just hopping in and doing whatever I felt like.
I tell you, it was a trying time, and isn't it always like this, that the after thought is much different than when it is all happening? What I do have to say, is that, my after thought, and really my in between thoughts, is that, it is, and was, the most humbling experience for me. To be without transportation for one year. I say, "don't feel sorry for me or anyone in that case".
I didn't miss out during it all, even though every last thread said I was missing out! It was a very transformative time, to say the very least. It is a time where you come back to yourself, the basics, the simple digs of life, and you appreciate them, you look them in the eye, and say one big fat THANK YOU, for the conveniences, the way of life that more times than not, gets overlooked.
We scurry around in our little lives and barely can see the fact that we are being transported from one place to another by a vehicle that runs, how, we don't know, we just go get it checked out every once in awhile.
Then back in we go, music on, petal to the metal and there we stop at our next destination, key out, click the alarm and not one second thought about it until the next time you enter in.........and even then, it is to scurry to work with your coffee half spilling in the cup holder, or making sure your blue tooth is in connected so that you can chat your whole drive!
Today, I woke up thinking, "Wow, I have the whole day off", and...........I have wheels!! Whoa! What should I do? I have pick of the litter? What haven't I done in one year?
Better yet, what HAVE I DONE in the last year?
Well let's start here!
For all of you who have read my blog, you have read what exquisite experiences I have had, in the simple life, with no wheels. It is nothing less, but more, probably, than what exquisite means, to have had these experiences. I have had a great deal of time to think of how it feels, what it does for this soul, and how it affects me on a whole, to be without one single luxury.
It has not only taken me to great spiritual heights, but to a simple life that I love and adore like no other!
Today, I woke up with all of those feelings of what to do, where to go, and I brought myself back to where I have been, and literally had to stop for a second and say, "I haven't really been without", and I don't want to swing on the opposite side of the pendulum, just because...... so what is it that I REALLY WANT to do? I haven't really missed out on anything that I can think of, except having the convenience of going to the grocery store for things. I'm a cook for god's sake. Gimme some condiments, some herbs at least, and some veggies....... god forbid I don't have my fresh grapefruits to juice in the morning........ ( All of my taxi cab drivers know I have a grapefruit "fetish"), but other than that....... I've been good. As long as my dogs and little kitty have what they need, and I have coffee at the house, good food, and well.......... really, that's it!
So....... I thought of only a coupla of things that I have wanted to do. Nothing spectacular. I'd like a hair trim please! It's been a year. Poor little hair follicles. And I wanted to get a massage, pedicure, and manicure. I am NEVER unkempt. If these few things aren't in check, something doesn't seem right. After all, I work my little paw paws to death, feet and hands. They need some lovin's.
Aside from that, I wanted to go to the grocery store, unhurried, to shop for the things I love, stare at the fish counter for however long I wanted, without thinking that the cab clock was ticking, and buy a great dinner to go home and cook. I bought mussels, a huge thing of salmon, abundant vegetables, fruit, and stuff for the animals, and I was a happy camper! I got to my car, turned up the tunes and humbly drove home. Honestly, my drives are so full of gratitude, so full of thankfulness that I am able to go from here to there.
Aside from sounding like I am tripping on some kind of psychedelic drug, I have to say, that LOVE, has carried me so far......so far, far, far, into my being, that given ANY LUXURY, I have planted a solid seat in my simple life, that I love, and cherish, no matter if I have thousands, or nothing. The great thing is...... is that, in all of the nothingness, I HAVE EVERYTHING! OH MY GOD............ I AM SO DAMN RICH IN LOVE, INSIDE............... I DON'T NEED A DAMN THING........HOW AMAZING TO EVEN SAY SUCH A THING?? YES, I'M DANCING RIGHT NOW........INSIDE!
I am so good with myself inside. I will scream it out to the world. I AM GOOD, I AM GOOD, I AM GOOD!
This last year has given me life! In all of it's frailties, it's changes, it's challenges, I have come home to myself!
Thank you to those of you who have forced me into a corner! You are a blessing in disguise. You have given me life again, and never again will I compromise my soul to any one or thing!
I chose to go to the grocery store, to get a hair trim, out of all things I could do, and came home to give 4 dogs a bath, clean my house, and make a fabulous dinner..........for me!
Don't let the mind trick you into thinking there are golden coins somewhere other than your own wallet. Even if your own wallet only has a coupala copper pennies............ don't negate those pennies! They are money too!
The most simple things in life that are seemingly insignificant, happen to be the MOST significant!
Pennies add up!
Simple moments add up, and soon you find yourself with treasures that you never thought could be treasures.
Don't wait till something happens to you! Grab a hold of your tiny existence, look at it under a microscope, and have a little more fun with it than you normally do.
Look at all of the luxuries you have, look at them again, and maybe silently thank them for being available to you, because you know darn well, that if you didn't have that dishwasher, that car, that IPhone, that computer, you would be pissed as hell!
Do without for a moment or two, say thanks that you aren't without it, and you may have a greater appreciation for all of these fabulous little trinkets that make or brake our days.
I may have a car now, but inside, I am walking, miles upon miles, upon miles!
My drives will never be the same!
~
Before getting a vehicle to drive in, I had so much time to contemplate on how I felt WITHOUT transportation, and the luxury of just hopping in and doing whatever I felt like.
I tell you, it was a trying time, and isn't it always like this, that the after thought is much different than when it is all happening? What I do have to say, is that, my after thought, and really my in between thoughts, is that, it is, and was, the most humbling experience for me. To be without transportation for one year. I say, "don't feel sorry for me or anyone in that case".
I didn't miss out during it all, even though every last thread said I was missing out! It was a very transformative time, to say the very least. It is a time where you come back to yourself, the basics, the simple digs of life, and you appreciate them, you look them in the eye, and say one big fat THANK YOU, for the conveniences, the way of life that more times than not, gets overlooked.
We scurry around in our little lives and barely can see the fact that we are being transported from one place to another by a vehicle that runs, how, we don't know, we just go get it checked out every once in awhile.
Then back in we go, music on, petal to the metal and there we stop at our next destination, key out, click the alarm and not one second thought about it until the next time you enter in.........and even then, it is to scurry to work with your coffee half spilling in the cup holder, or making sure your blue tooth is in connected so that you can chat your whole drive!
Today, I woke up thinking, "Wow, I have the whole day off", and...........I have wheels!! Whoa! What should I do? I have pick of the litter? What haven't I done in one year?
Better yet, what HAVE I DONE in the last year?
Well let's start here!
For all of you who have read my blog, you have read what exquisite experiences I have had, in the simple life, with no wheels. It is nothing less, but more, probably, than what exquisite means, to have had these experiences. I have had a great deal of time to think of how it feels, what it does for this soul, and how it affects me on a whole, to be without one single luxury.
It has not only taken me to great spiritual heights, but to a simple life that I love and adore like no other!
Today, I woke up with all of those feelings of what to do, where to go, and I brought myself back to where I have been, and literally had to stop for a second and say, "I haven't really been without", and I don't want to swing on the opposite side of the pendulum, just because...... so what is it that I REALLY WANT to do? I haven't really missed out on anything that I can think of, except having the convenience of going to the grocery store for things. I'm a cook for god's sake. Gimme some condiments, some herbs at least, and some veggies....... god forbid I don't have my fresh grapefruits to juice in the morning........ ( All of my taxi cab drivers know I have a grapefruit "fetish"), but other than that....... I've been good. As long as my dogs and little kitty have what they need, and I have coffee at the house, good food, and well.......... really, that's it!
So....... I thought of only a coupla of things that I have wanted to do. Nothing spectacular. I'd like a hair trim please! It's been a year. Poor little hair follicles. And I wanted to get a massage, pedicure, and manicure. I am NEVER unkempt. If these few things aren't in check, something doesn't seem right. After all, I work my little paw paws to death, feet and hands. They need some lovin's.
Aside from that, I wanted to go to the grocery store, unhurried, to shop for the things I love, stare at the fish counter for however long I wanted, without thinking that the cab clock was ticking, and buy a great dinner to go home and cook. I bought mussels, a huge thing of salmon, abundant vegetables, fruit, and stuff for the animals, and I was a happy camper! I got to my car, turned up the tunes and humbly drove home. Honestly, my drives are so full of gratitude, so full of thankfulness that I am able to go from here to there.
Aside from sounding like I am tripping on some kind of psychedelic drug, I have to say, that LOVE, has carried me so far......so far, far, far, into my being, that given ANY LUXURY, I have planted a solid seat in my simple life, that I love, and cherish, no matter if I have thousands, or nothing. The great thing is...... is that, in all of the nothingness, I HAVE EVERYTHING! OH MY GOD............ I AM SO DAMN RICH IN LOVE, INSIDE............... I DON'T NEED A DAMN THING........HOW AMAZING TO EVEN SAY SUCH A THING?? YES, I'M DANCING RIGHT NOW........INSIDE!
I am so good with myself inside. I will scream it out to the world. I AM GOOD, I AM GOOD, I AM GOOD!
This last year has given me life! In all of it's frailties, it's changes, it's challenges, I have come home to myself!
Thank you to those of you who have forced me into a corner! You are a blessing in disguise. You have given me life again, and never again will I compromise my soul to any one or thing!
I chose to go to the grocery store, to get a hair trim, out of all things I could do, and came home to give 4 dogs a bath, clean my house, and make a fabulous dinner..........for me!
Don't let the mind trick you into thinking there are golden coins somewhere other than your own wallet. Even if your own wallet only has a coupala copper pennies............ don't negate those pennies! They are money too!
The most simple things in life that are seemingly insignificant, happen to be the MOST significant!
Pennies add up!
Simple moments add up, and soon you find yourself with treasures that you never thought could be treasures.
Don't wait till something happens to you! Grab a hold of your tiny existence, look at it under a microscope, and have a little more fun with it than you normally do.
Look at all of the luxuries you have, look at them again, and maybe silently thank them for being available to you, because you know darn well, that if you didn't have that dishwasher, that car, that IPhone, that computer, you would be pissed as hell!
Do without for a moment or two, say thanks that you aren't without it, and you may have a greater appreciation for all of these fabulous little trinkets that make or brake our days.
I may have a car now, but inside, I am walking, miles upon miles, upon miles!
My drives will never be the same!
~
Saturday, July 17, 2010
NOW IS THE TIME
To know,
that all you do
is SACRED.
Why not consider
a lasting truce
with yourself
and
your
"God".
Now is the time
to understand
that all ideas
of right and wrong
were just a child's
training wheels
to be
laid
aside
when you can
finally live
with
veracity
and love.
Why do you
still
throw
sticks at
your
heart?
What is it
in that sweet
voice
that
incites
you
to
fear?
Now is the time
for the world
to
know
that every thought
and action
is
SACRED!
This is the time
to deeply compute
the impossibility
that there is
anything
But
GRACE!
Now,
is the season,
to know
that EVERYTHING YOU DO
IS
SACRED!
~
that all you do
is SACRED.
Why not consider
a lasting truce
with yourself
and
your
"God".
Now is the time
to understand
that all ideas
of right and wrong
were just a child's
training wheels
to be
laid
aside
when you can
finally live
with
veracity
and love.
Why do you
still
throw
sticks at
your
heart?
What is it
in that sweet
voice
that
incites
you
to
fear?
Now is the time
for the world
to
know
that every thought
and action
is
SACRED!
This is the time
to deeply compute
the impossibility
that there is
anything
But
GRACE!
Now,
is the season,
to know
that EVERYTHING YOU DO
IS
SACRED!
~
Friday, July 16, 2010
If........
.......You dislike something about a person,
more than likely,
it is
a
part of
Yourself.
What isn't
part
of
ourselves
doesn't
disturb
us!
~
more than likely,
it is
a
part of
Yourself.
What isn't
part
of
ourselves
doesn't
disturb
us!
~
Wednesday, July 14, 2010
FITNESS IS A RELIGION!
Fitness is a "religion", just like anything else that needs time for any certain result!
I mean, we go to work everyday, without second guessing, (well, most of the time ;), because we know that in two weeks, we will get a result, that being, a pay check! Right? No question about it. Even though we hem and haw, we get up at ungodly hours, stay up late, do work on the computer when we don't feel like it, go in on our days off, do ALL KINDS OF THINGS, because we know what that end result will be.
Unfortunately, the drive for that result is MONEY!
Maybe we should put dollar signs on our bodies! All over so that it would inspire us just the same, to get the hell outa the house, get your walking shoes on, or go to the gym, or take a run, a swim.........ANYTHING, for that awesome result of FEELING GOOD!
I know it doesn't have the same affect on us as say, a BIG FAT PAYCHECK, but the Truth of the matter is, when you are healthy, it makes work that much less of a "job", and things work out to your advantage. The feeling you get about life, your job, your goals, your relationships, parallel that good feeling and you start attracting the better things, instead of just being driven by money as the goal.
I am not saying that is a bad thing. We all need money, and it is a good goal, since we all want and need things.
Being Fit, or fitting excersise into your life is not the Curse that everyone thinks it is, really, I mean that. I think that everyone has this idea that if you are to work out, you have to join a gym, get on some arduous program, eat salads, and forget about your crazy lifestyle that includes everything from soda, to potato chips, to beer, wine, and spirits.
Hay, I did that whole jaunt for 20 years. I want me some pasta and wine, I don't care how much I have to excersise.
I am not about being rigid and making life miserable just to "feel good" or look good on the outside.
Have fun. Find out what you love doing, and make small, small steps to get out, to treat your body to a "tune up", like you do your car when it needs an oil change.
You don't do it often right? You might run it down for awhile, but eventually your car is gonna tell you, "I need to be cleaned out". It might start smelling like smoke, or giving off bad gas, or just not running as great as it normally does.
Well, I think we all know those signs, because it is OUR VEHCILE for Gods sake. How will we get to work, or to the store, or anywhere without our vehicle, right?
So it is with us.
How the heck do we keep expecting our "vehicle" to run if we don't treat it to a tune up every once in awhile?
Clean it out, put some good stuff in, take the bad out, and give it some good breathing room.
I didn't see any words in there that said QUIT THIS, STOP THAT, DON'T DO THIS OR THAT.
We have one life and we can play, have fun, and do whatever we want, but I do think that these bodies are a total blessing, and sometimes it would be nice to acknowledge the importance of them, just as we would money, or an Iphone, or the latest craze. We can't very well walk around, totally blind to the fact that these bodies take us everywhere!
They allow us to communicate, to play, to interact, to work, to travel, to love, to feel, to indulge in life's backround, to smell, to taste, to enjoy, really... everything that is here and available.
Why wouldn't we give it a bone or two, every coupla days, and say, "Hay, thanks", you allow me to have a pretty incredible life........... I'll take you for a walk for an hour, in sheer gratitude for all the miles you take me? Or let you float in some water, for some relaxation for all you do for me? Cool you off for all the work you do?
When you look at it that way, it allows the circle of life to happen, and you see just how incredible we do have it, how being more appreciative for what we are given, and naturally born with, allows us a much more expansive life and brings us back to a simple reality that we were born into these bodies, with no instruction manual, and it is up to us to keep it good, that is IF WE WANT TO.
I know a ton of people who feel stuck, and feel as if they cannot get past certain barriers when it comes to the body.
Remember the work analogy.
You know that you want that paycheck right? So you wake up and just DO IT!
Think of something realistic, but that would make you smile, and give you a feeling of validation, IF YOU DECIDED to give your body some lovely attention. Maybe at the end of the week you give yourself a dinner out, or a night out at the movies, or some special something that you can stick to, knowing you will be rewarded.
Give yourself something worth your efforts.
Everyone knows excersise isn't easy, so start small.
It's like anything. You want to be clear upstairs, you meditate, you pray, you go to church. It makes you FEEL GOOD! No one I know wants to get up on a Sunday for church, but guess what? I know a ton of people who go, because it gives a result.
Half the time I don't feel like meditating, but I know how I will feel and how energized I will be.
I don't have any strict regimine, I just know now, that if I stick to my formula, I will feel X. I don't always stick to it, but that is what life is all about..............FINDING A BALANCE!
Find time to enjoy life, give your body good stuff, have fun, drink your wine, eat your pizza, and also, give it some love, in the way you know how.......... every one in awhile.
I think you'll see that you might wanna give it more than you think, once you start.
I'm here.............learning all the same curves..............
It's an awesome Trek.
Enjoy the day.
Life is screaming peace, and joy..............and telling you to kick your heels up!
Tons of love and support
Gabriela
I mean, we go to work everyday, without second guessing, (well, most of the time ;), because we know that in two weeks, we will get a result, that being, a pay check! Right? No question about it. Even though we hem and haw, we get up at ungodly hours, stay up late, do work on the computer when we don't feel like it, go in on our days off, do ALL KINDS OF THINGS, because we know what that end result will be.
Unfortunately, the drive for that result is MONEY!
Maybe we should put dollar signs on our bodies! All over so that it would inspire us just the same, to get the hell outa the house, get your walking shoes on, or go to the gym, or take a run, a swim.........ANYTHING, for that awesome result of FEELING GOOD!
I know it doesn't have the same affect on us as say, a BIG FAT PAYCHECK, but the Truth of the matter is, when you are healthy, it makes work that much less of a "job", and things work out to your advantage. The feeling you get about life, your job, your goals, your relationships, parallel that good feeling and you start attracting the better things, instead of just being driven by money as the goal.
I am not saying that is a bad thing. We all need money, and it is a good goal, since we all want and need things.
Being Fit, or fitting excersise into your life is not the Curse that everyone thinks it is, really, I mean that. I think that everyone has this idea that if you are to work out, you have to join a gym, get on some arduous program, eat salads, and forget about your crazy lifestyle that includes everything from soda, to potato chips, to beer, wine, and spirits.
Hay, I did that whole jaunt for 20 years. I want me some pasta and wine, I don't care how much I have to excersise.
I am not about being rigid and making life miserable just to "feel good" or look good on the outside.
Have fun. Find out what you love doing, and make small, small steps to get out, to treat your body to a "tune up", like you do your car when it needs an oil change.
You don't do it often right? You might run it down for awhile, but eventually your car is gonna tell you, "I need to be cleaned out". It might start smelling like smoke, or giving off bad gas, or just not running as great as it normally does.
Well, I think we all know those signs, because it is OUR VEHCILE for Gods sake. How will we get to work, or to the store, or anywhere without our vehicle, right?
So it is with us.
How the heck do we keep expecting our "vehicle" to run if we don't treat it to a tune up every once in awhile?
Clean it out, put some good stuff in, take the bad out, and give it some good breathing room.
I didn't see any words in there that said QUIT THIS, STOP THAT, DON'T DO THIS OR THAT.
We have one life and we can play, have fun, and do whatever we want, but I do think that these bodies are a total blessing, and sometimes it would be nice to acknowledge the importance of them, just as we would money, or an Iphone, or the latest craze. We can't very well walk around, totally blind to the fact that these bodies take us everywhere!
They allow us to communicate, to play, to interact, to work, to travel, to love, to feel, to indulge in life's backround, to smell, to taste, to enjoy, really... everything that is here and available.
Why wouldn't we give it a bone or two, every coupla days, and say, "Hay, thanks", you allow me to have a pretty incredible life........... I'll take you for a walk for an hour, in sheer gratitude for all the miles you take me? Or let you float in some water, for some relaxation for all you do for me? Cool you off for all the work you do?
When you look at it that way, it allows the circle of life to happen, and you see just how incredible we do have it, how being more appreciative for what we are given, and naturally born with, allows us a much more expansive life and brings us back to a simple reality that we were born into these bodies, with no instruction manual, and it is up to us to keep it good, that is IF WE WANT TO.
I know a ton of people who feel stuck, and feel as if they cannot get past certain barriers when it comes to the body.
Remember the work analogy.
You know that you want that paycheck right? So you wake up and just DO IT!
Think of something realistic, but that would make you smile, and give you a feeling of validation, IF YOU DECIDED to give your body some lovely attention. Maybe at the end of the week you give yourself a dinner out, or a night out at the movies, or some special something that you can stick to, knowing you will be rewarded.
Give yourself something worth your efforts.
Everyone knows excersise isn't easy, so start small.
It's like anything. You want to be clear upstairs, you meditate, you pray, you go to church. It makes you FEEL GOOD! No one I know wants to get up on a Sunday for church, but guess what? I know a ton of people who go, because it gives a result.
Half the time I don't feel like meditating, but I know how I will feel and how energized I will be.
I don't have any strict regimine, I just know now, that if I stick to my formula, I will feel X. I don't always stick to it, but that is what life is all about..............FINDING A BALANCE!
Find time to enjoy life, give your body good stuff, have fun, drink your wine, eat your pizza, and also, give it some love, in the way you know how.......... every one in awhile.
I think you'll see that you might wanna give it more than you think, once you start.
I'm here.............learning all the same curves..............
It's an awesome Trek.
Enjoy the day.
Life is screaming peace, and joy..............and telling you to kick your heels up!
Tons of love and support
Gabriela
Tuesday, July 13, 2010
EVERYDAY IS NEW
......and we get the best opportunities to make them different, and make choices that are good for us, rather than feeling like we are stuck!
I've been on both ends of the spectrum, believe me. I know what it is like to feel that paralysis, where you literally feel like you can't move, out of a fear that maybe you are aware of, or maybe you're not, just yet.
I don't really think fear will ever end in our heads. I think the way we perceive things is the only thing that matters. It's hard when we are so used to believing in our own stories, I mean, c'mon, it's just been us, with ourselves for so long, like being with a long time lover. You get comfortable with the way you do things, and keep it going because it feels so cozy. If no one is there to pull you out of your illusion, you'll just go on believing the same boring story, and more than likely, do the same damn things that you have been doing since you were a kid.
So how do we know if we are doing the same damn thing, over, and over, and over again???
I know for me, when I see the same results happening, or the same boring story shows up, and I'm not willing to sit with popcorn anymore, and am yawning through the same repeat episode, I'm thinking to myself ,"Someone out there pull me outa my rut", show me something different, or a new way to see things because it is SO ingrained in us, that boring, stale, stuff, that more than likely we are going to need an objective hand or two.
No matte how "on my game" I think I am, I know it is always the greatest pleasure to have an objective opinion, someone with fresh ideas, outside of our typical suggestions for ourselves.
Even that is hard to break out of. :But.... But.... I've been doing it my way for 43 years now". I don't want the rug pulled out from under me...........NOT NOW!
Well, if you want some comfort in all of those thoughts, you might know that I successfully stand on wooden floors these days. There is no rug to pull out! I have tripped, fallen, slipped, and a million other words to describe doing, and being, anything other than what I have been used to. Different ways of applying Truth to my life, different ways of looking at things, different ways, all together that may not feel so comfortable, but help this little gypsy girl to keep one foot on the ground, so that I may not float away in some Patchouli laden cloud, with turquoise stars beaming around me.
I have learned so much, and too, am able to look at my way as just another way of doing things, and it is so incredible to try, yes try, balancing the different ways, to make it all work, where it feels like a good fit.
Don't get me wrong, it is challenging everyday, but sometimes that challenge feels good to keep me on my toes.
I look forward to going beyond my ideas of how I want things, or how I think things should go. That too, isn't an easy task! As a matter of fact, it is downright grueling, (just being honest), but when you see yourself starting to be OK with what life hands you, you suddenly look at it as a milestone for yourself in this "not so easy life", that you want to be all bubbles and candy.
Well... It ain't, and I won't, on my best day, ever tell you that it is.
What I will tell you is that it IS WHAT YOU MAKE IT!
I almost hate saying that because I have total compassion for all of us who were never taught that, and who REALLY is stepping up to the plate to take over teaching us differently, if we haven't taken a trip to India, or perused every New Age book store in search of............
What about all of us just growing up doing what we know? We have no chance!
It is up to us to dig, to find the answers, and not rely on anyone to do it for us!
ASK QUESTIONS! BE A DETECTIVE! INQUIRE ABOUT EVERY LAST THING YOU HAVE A QUESTION ABOUT!
God will always support your wonder, your passions, and if your heart is pure, you won't need the Dali Lama to whisper sweet nothings in your ear.
I have had the sweetest angels in my life, helping me through, to understand, keep the faith, and to get to my next steps in my ever pulsating evolution.
These are everyday people, people who I intentionally invited in just for this......alone......... people you meet for half a second.
Be open to the newness of everyday, and look for the clues, the ones that you have asked for, but maybe aren't looking in the right corner.
The answers and the things that you want are right in front of your face if you look............really look........and then ACT!
DON'T BE AFRAID.
I'm here to help you jump, as I jump too! I'm getting used to the risk again.
It's not easy, but if we keep those hands held together, we'll all be OK.
MAKE TODAY NEW. LOOK AROUND. YOU MIGHT JUST SEE SOMETHING THAT YOU WERE LOOKING FOR.
YEAH FOR RISK...YEAH FOR TRUST!
Enjoy the day........... it's screaming with blessings!
All my love,
Gabriela
I've been on both ends of the spectrum, believe me. I know what it is like to feel that paralysis, where you literally feel like you can't move, out of a fear that maybe you are aware of, or maybe you're not, just yet.
I don't really think fear will ever end in our heads. I think the way we perceive things is the only thing that matters. It's hard when we are so used to believing in our own stories, I mean, c'mon, it's just been us, with ourselves for so long, like being with a long time lover. You get comfortable with the way you do things, and keep it going because it feels so cozy. If no one is there to pull you out of your illusion, you'll just go on believing the same boring story, and more than likely, do the same damn things that you have been doing since you were a kid.
So how do we know if we are doing the same damn thing, over, and over, and over again???
I know for me, when I see the same results happening, or the same boring story shows up, and I'm not willing to sit with popcorn anymore, and am yawning through the same repeat episode, I'm thinking to myself ,"Someone out there pull me outa my rut", show me something different, or a new way to see things because it is SO ingrained in us, that boring, stale, stuff, that more than likely we are going to need an objective hand or two.
No matte how "on my game" I think I am, I know it is always the greatest pleasure to have an objective opinion, someone with fresh ideas, outside of our typical suggestions for ourselves.
Even that is hard to break out of. :But.... But.... I've been doing it my way for 43 years now". I don't want the rug pulled out from under me...........NOT NOW!
Well, if you want some comfort in all of those thoughts, you might know that I successfully stand on wooden floors these days. There is no rug to pull out! I have tripped, fallen, slipped, and a million other words to describe doing, and being, anything other than what I have been used to. Different ways of applying Truth to my life, different ways of looking at things, different ways, all together that may not feel so comfortable, but help this little gypsy girl to keep one foot on the ground, so that I may not float away in some Patchouli laden cloud, with turquoise stars beaming around me.
I have learned so much, and too, am able to look at my way as just another way of doing things, and it is so incredible to try, yes try, balancing the different ways, to make it all work, where it feels like a good fit.
Don't get me wrong, it is challenging everyday, but sometimes that challenge feels good to keep me on my toes.
I look forward to going beyond my ideas of how I want things, or how I think things should go. That too, isn't an easy task! As a matter of fact, it is downright grueling, (just being honest), but when you see yourself starting to be OK with what life hands you, you suddenly look at it as a milestone for yourself in this "not so easy life", that you want to be all bubbles and candy.
Well... It ain't, and I won't, on my best day, ever tell you that it is.
What I will tell you is that it IS WHAT YOU MAKE IT!
I almost hate saying that because I have total compassion for all of us who were never taught that, and who REALLY is stepping up to the plate to take over teaching us differently, if we haven't taken a trip to India, or perused every New Age book store in search of............
What about all of us just growing up doing what we know? We have no chance!
It is up to us to dig, to find the answers, and not rely on anyone to do it for us!
ASK QUESTIONS! BE A DETECTIVE! INQUIRE ABOUT EVERY LAST THING YOU HAVE A QUESTION ABOUT!
God will always support your wonder, your passions, and if your heart is pure, you won't need the Dali Lama to whisper sweet nothings in your ear.
I have had the sweetest angels in my life, helping me through, to understand, keep the faith, and to get to my next steps in my ever pulsating evolution.
These are everyday people, people who I intentionally invited in just for this......alone......... people you meet for half a second.
Be open to the newness of everyday, and look for the clues, the ones that you have asked for, but maybe aren't looking in the right corner.
The answers and the things that you want are right in front of your face if you look............really look........and then ACT!
DON'T BE AFRAID.
I'm here to help you jump, as I jump too! I'm getting used to the risk again.
It's not easy, but if we keep those hands held together, we'll all be OK.
MAKE TODAY NEW. LOOK AROUND. YOU MIGHT JUST SEE SOMETHING THAT YOU WERE LOOKING FOR.
YEAH FOR RISK...YEAH FOR TRUST!
Enjoy the day........... it's screaming with blessings!
All my love,
Gabriela
Friday, July 9, 2010
RISK
ALL LIFE IS AN EXPERIMENT.
THE MORE EXPERIMENTS YOU MAKE
THE BETTER.
JUMP.
GO.
DO IT!
DON'T FEAR
THE
UNKNOWN!
~
THE MORE EXPERIMENTS YOU MAKE
THE BETTER.
JUMP.
GO.
DO IT!
DON'T FEAR
THE
UNKNOWN!
~
Tuesday, July 6, 2010
LUXURIES WE TAKE FOR GRANTED
I almost don't know where to start, although I know once I start, you will say, "Here she goes, she's on a roll", and maybe I will read this when it comes time for the weekend, when I don't have to scroll down my phone, and maybe can sit for a bit to read such long blogs".
That's OK. I'll take the punches!
As of today, I am finally able to drive after a long, long year! Yes, aside from borrowing a friends truck for short period of time, I have been taking Taxi Cabs to work, or having co-workers take me to work, or whatever other creative means I have drummed up, to make it to work, with all of the interesting and eclectic circumstances of Gabriela's little life.
It has literally been, almost to the day, give or take a few, 365 days without driving.
This by all means is not to feel sorry for me. It is just factual information that I want to share because it has a lot of meaning, not because you need to say awwww, or too bad, or anything like that!
I want to share the enormity of my experiences, with any kind of words I can muster up, that would possibly give credence to the magnitude of what has transpired in this last year, just without wheels. Not being able to get to a store, the post office, the vet, to work, to the dentist, to my therapist, to a mall, to get a haircut, to buy a shirt, or shorts, to grocery shop, to buy a card for a birthday if you wanted to, to get stamps, to get dog food, cat food.............
Honestly, this last year, without getting into great detail, has become the teacher of all teachers for me! It has brought me to such a core place inside, so raw, so real, and so simple, that I am not sure I can go back to the place I was one year ago, flitting around, taking for granted, how amazingly beautiful, and LUXURIOUS it is, to be able to have a vehicle to take you places, to get you to and from work, to get your coffee's, your lattes, your dry cleaning, your groceries.
I have made a divine friend in my body, to be able to walk places, to be able to take long stretches on a hot day, walking to the grocery store, to the meat market, to the post office, and actually to work.
I found the raw self again. The self that seems to get lost in today's world, full of luxury, full of conveniences, and full of things that generally take us away from our roots, our own bodies, and the great Mother Earth, which happens to be the most divine place I want to traipse upon, any day, my friend, rather than 6th street or Vespaio. ( And I do loves me some Vespaio).
I have made more exquisite love, in this last year, to Nature, than I ever have to any human being in my life!
I have to say, it just pales in comparison! Call me crazy!
The more time off I get, the more I devote myself to the great outdoors. It greets me with flowers, and song, birds that are gorgeous, like salt water fish, trees that are old, and wise, people, that are....old and wise..... structures that speak volumes, soil that speaks to me, and tells me it's heritage.
No, I''m not smokin somethin............. c'mon guys......get a little organic! Go back in time, or, up to date!
Put down the game boys and the Iphones and join me for just a little bit. I swear you would have a life changing experience!
Not only did I not have a car, but I chose not to watch TV, or listen to any radio.
The only music I listen to is the Symphony, Classical, and on the rare occasion that I want to feel uplifted, in a different kinda way, is to listen to my three favorites........ 70's music, Reggae, or Classic Rock.
They all get me to the same place, just in a different way.
Anyway, I'm writing because after a year of not driving, and having to be really resourceful, it has come to be THE MOST humbling experience ever!
I have started a book and plan to finish it, and in it will explain the details, the whys, the how's and what ever could come of something so 'Seemingly" little, as to not having a vehicle.
Not being able to drive, or get to where you need to be, is nothing to sneeze at.
In all of the forced situations, compiled with the ones I had choice over, it has been a monumental year. One that I want to celebrate!
Today, as I signed the papers at a car dealership, was a big deal to me.
It equaled a hard earned FREEDOM!
One that I am utterly grateful for.
Driving home I didn't even see the road the same. My experience was utterly spiritual .I could hardly stand it!
By the time I got to the restaurant that I went to with a friend, I parked and felt as though I was hyperventilating. This sounds over exaggerated, but I tell you, it transforms you, and brings you to such a place where you begin to wonder if you need to change things up a bit.
Cars are luxuries, and yes, there are a million other things that can go in the same category. Take all of them and see what you can do without them!
When you get into your vehicle, feel the seat beneath you. Look at everything!!!! Don't turn on the music just yet. Drive in the awareness that you are free, and able, to drive something that will get you from A to B.
Don't just throw your stuff in the passenger seat, get in, and start the car!
Get in. Put the key in. Be aware of every last little thing.
God, you may not have that vehicle again, for some reason or another.
Some people can acclimate more than others.
You don't need to have a rude awakening.
It is good to be aware that this..........your car, (and apply it to other things as well) is a convenience for you, but if for some reason, it is gone, or is taken away from you for some reason, you don't want to feel as if you are in the dessert with no water.
Me? I am a survivor in every sense of the word. It may hurt, tug and pull at me, but I will always come through! I am a fighter.
Those walks to the grocery store made me walk faster, start running and eventually sprinting, to where I have not run like this in years.
These walks have made me take hours with my dogs into nature, and on walks that they need. They made me get closer to the nature, where I prefer to be at all times.
I am
more present
available
and open
to what IS!
It will be a test for me.
To have a car
and not fall back into
what "seems to be"
as opposed to
"what is".
Everyone has their homework cut out for them.
I don't ever want to lose sight of the rawness that life has to offer.
I also don't want to put myself on the podium of being scathed to death.
I just want to participate in life, organically, and too, be hip to the "going on's", and act accordingly.
I am a pioneer in my own life.
I don't profess to be anyone or anything.
I am here like you!
My heart is full, and in dire need of expression.
That is it, really!
However that surfaces, is great, so long as it makes you smile, makes me full, and people are dancing for no reason...........that's the stuff that makes me go nuts................... in a grand, grand, way!
DON'T TAKE THIS LIFE FOR GRANTED! WE HAVE PRECIOUS THINGS............PRECIOUS PEOPLE............ANIMALS...............
Get to noticin' these things.................they will, indeed transform your soul!
I love you all so, so sincerely,
Thank you for being a part of my life....... as little or as large............ you are in my life for a reason.
Thank you, so, so much!
Goodnight and may all your dreams, however big or small, come true!
Gabriela ~
Monday, July 5, 2010
INDEPENDANCE......IN GENERAL!
When it comes to certain "holiday's" I go ahead and have all of the fun that is supposed to be had with it, but then, of course, I look at what it really is about, whatever day it is.
This day happens to be Independence day!
A day of freedom!
The fireworks are great........... colorful, beautiful. and celebratory.
I'm down for that!
But you know, by now, meeeee!
The firecrackers are OK, the lights, the colors and such..............
But what really is today?
It is different for everyone!
If I said, "But today is about "True Independence", then 10,000 people would have a different rendition of what "True Independence" is.
To me, it is about, being who you are, and sticking to that, no matter what?
Being independent to me, is staying true to who you are, no matter the circumstance. Not necessarily paying the bills on your own, but sticking to who you are, inside, no matter what! Screw the bills! They'll get paid!
What are your core beliefs, and are you adhering to them, no matter is happening? Are you searching outside of the shell? The one that tells you who you are, why and what you should be doing? Outside of what is "supposed" to be?
C'mon be honest?
I loves me some fireworks.......but to me, and this is only me...... why have a firework, it there is nothing to attach itself to. Why the fireworks? Why celebrate? Ask yourself, "What am I really setting off this firework for?"
Is it really just about beer, wine, being on the boat, or grilling out to make your "Fourth of July, the "Fourth of July", or is it a tad bit more?
Hay, maybe it isn't?
All cool!
What is Independence day to you?
These days, being independent is a total luxury, to me, at least!
If you are independent, (alone) or independent, within a relationship, I hope you feel honored, with either one!
We are so damn lucky here in America!
We have everything at our disposal, I mean, really.......it's crazy! Absurd crazy!
There are freedoms that we have as women, as men, as mere humans, here on our planet, in the US, that are so taken for granted.
I could go on and on.
We do have it made guys.
We have "Independence" like no other place on the earth!! We are disgustingly spoiled, and I almost feel ashamed, being amongst others with less than.
Cherish your Independence!
It's Gold, trust me!
Go light off your sparklers, and have fun. Just never forget the urgency of making our lives full of organic Independence, rather than fireworks, and coleslaw!
I am lit up, as we "speak".
Happy Independence Day......no matter what that is to you!
As long as you feel free!
~
This day happens to be Independence day!
A day of freedom!
The fireworks are great........... colorful, beautiful. and celebratory.
I'm down for that!
But you know, by now, meeeee!
The firecrackers are OK, the lights, the colors and such..............
But what really is today?
It is different for everyone!
If I said, "But today is about "True Independence", then 10,000 people would have a different rendition of what "True Independence" is.
To me, it is about, being who you are, and sticking to that, no matter what?
Being independent to me, is staying true to who you are, no matter the circumstance. Not necessarily paying the bills on your own, but sticking to who you are, inside, no matter what! Screw the bills! They'll get paid!
What are your core beliefs, and are you adhering to them, no matter is happening? Are you searching outside of the shell? The one that tells you who you are, why and what you should be doing? Outside of what is "supposed" to be?
C'mon be honest?
I loves me some fireworks.......but to me, and this is only me...... why have a firework, it there is nothing to attach itself to. Why the fireworks? Why celebrate? Ask yourself, "What am I really setting off this firework for?"
Is it really just about beer, wine, being on the boat, or grilling out to make your "Fourth of July, the "Fourth of July", or is it a tad bit more?
Hay, maybe it isn't?
All cool!
What is Independence day to you?
These days, being independent is a total luxury, to me, at least!
If you are independent, (alone) or independent, within a relationship, I hope you feel honored, with either one!
We are so damn lucky here in America!
We have everything at our disposal, I mean, really.......it's crazy! Absurd crazy!
There are freedoms that we have as women, as men, as mere humans, here on our planet, in the US, that are so taken for granted.
I could go on and on.
We do have it made guys.
We have "Independence" like no other place on the earth!! We are disgustingly spoiled, and I almost feel ashamed, being amongst others with less than.
Cherish your Independence!
It's Gold, trust me!
Go light off your sparklers, and have fun. Just never forget the urgency of making our lives full of organic Independence, rather than fireworks, and coleslaw!
I am lit up, as we "speak".
Happy Independence Day......no matter what that is to you!
As long as you feel free!
~
Saturday, July 3, 2010
SCARY VS. ADVENTURE
.... is what happens when you continuously take RISKS!
It can scare the bee jesus outa you, and yet, how the heck are you ever going to find out what lies beneath or beyond, or on the other side of the mountain if you don't put your damn hiking boots on and make the trek?
Yes, you do feel scared, with all of the what ifs, the keepin' your feet on solid ground feeling of safety, which is all great, but ya gotta lift those feet up every once in awhile to get'em a little dirty, let them feel the earth, find out what they are made of, and let your soul spring up with adventure.
I have certainly been on both sides of the coin, more so the adventurer, and in the last year, I have never played it so safe.
Needless to say, my adventure side, is ready to ..............take a well deserved ADVENTURE!
I am playing a little bit of solitaire these days, not like the Russian Roulette I used to play, where it is all or nothing, but Solitaire where you can take some risks, but they are a little more planned out.
I like that. It seems fair in the whole scheme of being a bit safe, and......letting your dreads down.
I'm willing to work my butt off to be able to be carefree, and believe you me, I will plot it so I CAN BE FOOT LOOSE AND FANCY FREE.....so........... their in lies...................RISK!!
I know what my soul craves? Do you? Hay, if not, you can still Risk doing little things daily, to get you to a place of knowing just what that is.
I have a gazillion things I crave, and want to do, to explore, to dive into, to study, and to give. For me to do that I had better get my thinking cap on, and keep that sucker charged so I can let some of this pent up energy out and give it to something that needs attention.
( I can only cook so much ya know)
LETS TAKE ONE RISK TODAY, THAT SEEMS SCARY AS HELL, AND JUST DO IT..............
Trust me, there is a fountain out there full of support, that knows if your heart and soul are headed in a pure and good direction, it will slam blast you with things you couldn't even come up with to get you along your way.
I am so on it!!!
Ready??
C'mon lets go.
There's some work to be done!!
Tons of love and support to you, and......to me.
I'm gettin the hang of all this stuff.............
Ain't so scary..............ain't so scary!!!!
Oodles of love!
~
It can scare the bee jesus outa you, and yet, how the heck are you ever going to find out what lies beneath or beyond, or on the other side of the mountain if you don't put your damn hiking boots on and make the trek?
Yes, you do feel scared, with all of the what ifs, the keepin' your feet on solid ground feeling of safety, which is all great, but ya gotta lift those feet up every once in awhile to get'em a little dirty, let them feel the earth, find out what they are made of, and let your soul spring up with adventure.
I have certainly been on both sides of the coin, more so the adventurer, and in the last year, I have never played it so safe.
Needless to say, my adventure side, is ready to ..............take a well deserved ADVENTURE!
I am playing a little bit of solitaire these days, not like the Russian Roulette I used to play, where it is all or nothing, but Solitaire where you can take some risks, but they are a little more planned out.
I like that. It seems fair in the whole scheme of being a bit safe, and......letting your dreads down.
I'm willing to work my butt off to be able to be carefree, and believe you me, I will plot it so I CAN BE FOOT LOOSE AND FANCY FREE.....so........... their in lies...................RISK!!
I know what my soul craves? Do you? Hay, if not, you can still Risk doing little things daily, to get you to a place of knowing just what that is.
I have a gazillion things I crave, and want to do, to explore, to dive into, to study, and to give. For me to do that I had better get my thinking cap on, and keep that sucker charged so I can let some of this pent up energy out and give it to something that needs attention.
( I can only cook so much ya know)
LETS TAKE ONE RISK TODAY, THAT SEEMS SCARY AS HELL, AND JUST DO IT..............
Trust me, there is a fountain out there full of support, that knows if your heart and soul are headed in a pure and good direction, it will slam blast you with things you couldn't even come up with to get you along your way.
I am so on it!!!
Ready??
C'mon lets go.
There's some work to be done!!
Tons of love and support to you, and......to me.
I'm gettin the hang of all this stuff.............
Ain't so scary..............ain't so scary!!!!
Oodles of love!
~
Friday, July 2, 2010
KIND OF A CONTINUATION...........
.....Of yesterday's blog, that has stayed with me today, very deeply!
I feel as if my life is being seen through a strobe light. The more I step back, and find a neutral, objective place inside to view things from, the more I find that there really is NOTHING to DO! I don't have to figure out how to get from A to B, or how to "get over" this, or get over that. From that place inside, everything really IS well, and OK inside. Even though it may not be on the outside, time spent in that realization allows more patience, more compassion for yourself, and your evolution and whatever that may entail. You become so giving to yourself, as you would others, and the feeling is awesome! I am learning to give to me, as I do others. It feels really good. I'm not perfect but really, I am not looking to be. I guess I always strive to be the kind of person I love, and I can easily find fault in my imperfections, but hay, welcome to the human psyche that needs to get a grip! Honestly!
I have realized though, that when I am off from work, and have ample time to get settled inside, my life is amazingly different, and really this doesn't come as a surprise. Anyone who spends that much time talking, or doing, and moving will have monumental experiences when it comes time to get quiet and really listen to the soul. That much noise in any ones life will always make for a struggle and a race to utilize time off to get to some core place, other than a noise filled atmosphere. That is why I do not miss watching TV. I rarely listen to anything but Classical music, or Jazz, or my fun Reggae station. Anything to keep me inspired and anything but Frank Sinatra, unfortunately, he was one of my favorites until I found this job.
The whole DEATH AND DYING topic can carry so many titles, so many conversations, and as I said, yesterday kicked it off with my baby fawn, and into the night it went. I couldn't sleep! I can see the entire sky lit up at night from my bed. It keeps me where I want to be. It is perplexing, and not in a bad way, but keeps me inquisitive, not bored, and always passionate about my little time here, on this earth, how precious every thing is, and how I need to keep myself good inside, innocent enough to respect and honor the most simple things that people seem to forget.
As corny as this sounds, or spiritual, or whatever it may seem, I really do try to be so present with people, so aware of my connections, the depths of them, or seriously, the non depth in some, and see it for what it is, and love it accordingly. Does that make sense?
Continuing from yesterday would be seeing what is in front of you, and knowing that it will not stay, or, it may. The Fawn struggled to leave, as much as I wanted it to stay. That few moments felt historic to me! As much as I wanted to hold onto those moments, it left me, and moved on. God, I will never forget that 3 or 5 minutes in my life. I swear if I live to be 70 or 80, I promise you, I will tell someone that story.
So then think of people in your life who have affected you in some way. They may not be in your life anymore, but the remnants of their affect on you will be inside of you forever.
If we can possibly move through life, enjoying and appreciating everything, and tiny moments, and situations,seemingly good or bad, and people who come into our lives for spans of time, and then seem to be gone, and really be OK with the movement........... we will soar, literally SOAR.
It takes so much to be consciously detached! It is not negating any kind of emotion that may come with the movement, but making it a reality in your life, that things will always be changing, and things don't always go the way we want them to.
In that, is a huge responsibility to your soul. The soul who innately knows the scoop on things, but is waiting for you to catch up a little.
If I can be grateful for anything in my life right now, and there are many, it would be for this exquisite, exquisite, time alone, away from the norm, deep into my being, and exploring every little thing that is happening, outside of what I may seem to be at work.
I have always had the feeling that I would not live into my old age. I am not sure if that will be true or not.
Sometimes I feel as if the reason why I am so passionate about life, and my moments, are because my life is condensed somehow, for some reason. I really don't know. What I do know is that whether I pass tomorrow, or in 40 years from now, I will not have missed a beat.
I'm not lookin for the millions, or the big this, or big that, more of this, and more of that.
I'm looking right in front of my face, at this computer, with all of the things that I love around me, the music I want playing, the quietude, the silence of the night, and seriously knowing that if somehow, this were to be the last of my moments, I would go peacefully.
That doesn't mean there are things that I wouldn't want to do, or things I would like to say to people, but inside, soulfully............ I'm good. Something out there beckons me on a regular basis, and to tell you the Truth, the best love I have made, and am making, is in these moments, with myself, with a Source, if you will, that stays just mysterious enough to keep my attention, but that makes me feel whole, safe, and rest assured that it will always be there.
Love is constant.
Love is pure!
The sacredness of that experience inside will take you so far, and give you any and everything you have ever asked for.
There may be many deaths, but there are just as many births..............
To that, I bow, and give my entire being to............ unabashed............ with no reservations!
I am diving.........not knowing............where I will fall.
Thank you for these moments in time..........
I honestly just want to disappear in them.
Goodnight, and sweet dreams to all of you!
My wish is for you to have all that you deserve!
Gabriela
I feel as if my life is being seen through a strobe light. The more I step back, and find a neutral, objective place inside to view things from, the more I find that there really is NOTHING to DO! I don't have to figure out how to get from A to B, or how to "get over" this, or get over that. From that place inside, everything really IS well, and OK inside. Even though it may not be on the outside, time spent in that realization allows more patience, more compassion for yourself, and your evolution and whatever that may entail. You become so giving to yourself, as you would others, and the feeling is awesome! I am learning to give to me, as I do others. It feels really good. I'm not perfect but really, I am not looking to be. I guess I always strive to be the kind of person I love, and I can easily find fault in my imperfections, but hay, welcome to the human psyche that needs to get a grip! Honestly!
I have realized though, that when I am off from work, and have ample time to get settled inside, my life is amazingly different, and really this doesn't come as a surprise. Anyone who spends that much time talking, or doing, and moving will have monumental experiences when it comes time to get quiet and really listen to the soul. That much noise in any ones life will always make for a struggle and a race to utilize time off to get to some core place, other than a noise filled atmosphere. That is why I do not miss watching TV. I rarely listen to anything but Classical music, or Jazz, or my fun Reggae station. Anything to keep me inspired and anything but Frank Sinatra, unfortunately, he was one of my favorites until I found this job.
The whole DEATH AND DYING topic can carry so many titles, so many conversations, and as I said, yesterday kicked it off with my baby fawn, and into the night it went. I couldn't sleep! I can see the entire sky lit up at night from my bed. It keeps me where I want to be. It is perplexing, and not in a bad way, but keeps me inquisitive, not bored, and always passionate about my little time here, on this earth, how precious every thing is, and how I need to keep myself good inside, innocent enough to respect and honor the most simple things that people seem to forget.
As corny as this sounds, or spiritual, or whatever it may seem, I really do try to be so present with people, so aware of my connections, the depths of them, or seriously, the non depth in some, and see it for what it is, and love it accordingly. Does that make sense?
Continuing from yesterday would be seeing what is in front of you, and knowing that it will not stay, or, it may. The Fawn struggled to leave, as much as I wanted it to stay. That few moments felt historic to me! As much as I wanted to hold onto those moments, it left me, and moved on. God, I will never forget that 3 or 5 minutes in my life. I swear if I live to be 70 or 80, I promise you, I will tell someone that story.
So then think of people in your life who have affected you in some way. They may not be in your life anymore, but the remnants of their affect on you will be inside of you forever.
If we can possibly move through life, enjoying and appreciating everything, and tiny moments, and situations,seemingly good or bad, and people who come into our lives for spans of time, and then seem to be gone, and really be OK with the movement........... we will soar, literally SOAR.
It takes so much to be consciously detached! It is not negating any kind of emotion that may come with the movement, but making it a reality in your life, that things will always be changing, and things don't always go the way we want them to.
In that, is a huge responsibility to your soul. The soul who innately knows the scoop on things, but is waiting for you to catch up a little.
If I can be grateful for anything in my life right now, and there are many, it would be for this exquisite, exquisite, time alone, away from the norm, deep into my being, and exploring every little thing that is happening, outside of what I may seem to be at work.
I have always had the feeling that I would not live into my old age. I am not sure if that will be true or not.
Sometimes I feel as if the reason why I am so passionate about life, and my moments, are because my life is condensed somehow, for some reason. I really don't know. What I do know is that whether I pass tomorrow, or in 40 years from now, I will not have missed a beat.
I'm not lookin for the millions, or the big this, or big that, more of this, and more of that.
I'm looking right in front of my face, at this computer, with all of the things that I love around me, the music I want playing, the quietude, the silence of the night, and seriously knowing that if somehow, this were to be the last of my moments, I would go peacefully.
That doesn't mean there are things that I wouldn't want to do, or things I would like to say to people, but inside, soulfully............ I'm good. Something out there beckons me on a regular basis, and to tell you the Truth, the best love I have made, and am making, is in these moments, with myself, with a Source, if you will, that stays just mysterious enough to keep my attention, but that makes me feel whole, safe, and rest assured that it will always be there.
Love is constant.
Love is pure!
The sacredness of that experience inside will take you so far, and give you any and everything you have ever asked for.
There may be many deaths, but there are just as many births..............
To that, I bow, and give my entire being to............ unabashed............ with no reservations!
I am diving.........not knowing............where I will fall.
Thank you for these moments in time..........
I honestly just want to disappear in them.
Goodnight, and sweet dreams to all of you!
My wish is for you to have all that you deserve!
Gabriela
Thursday, July 1, 2010
DEPENDING ON HOW YOU LOOK AT IT.....
Life can be one big Mourning..... a continual grieving process that only escalates with time.
I figure there are continuous births, and too, continuous deaths.
From starting in a new school as a child, to having to leave to move on to another grade, to the friends that were there, to making new somewhere else. First loves, second loves, leaving your moms house to get your first place on your own....... siblings who you grew up with for many years, suddenly all leave and find their way into the world, and seemingly, you are always going back to "just you".
I mean, this is life..... it hit me today in a different kind of way.
Just because it is called grieving, or mourning, doesn't necessarily mean that it is bad. It is emotional, without a doubt, especially if you are sensitive to all things.
I went on my long stretch of runs with the dogs tonight, and as I got to the end of this culdisac, I saw something out of the corner of my eye. I looked and realized it was a newborn baby fawn, lying in the bushes all by itself. I quickly took my dog across the street and leashed him up so that he couldn't see the fawn. He'd go crazy if he did.
I walked back ever so slowly and quietly. I didn't want her to get away. I was so awe struck and wanted to freeze that moment. I stared at her, and she knew she wanted to run, but couldn't. I said to myself, inside, God, I would never hurt you please don't run......... She propped herself up, her ears stood straight up, and I saw all of the gorgeous white spots on her, and then she started stumbling to try to get away.
To me, it is such a shame that something like that cannot sit or lye down, just as comfortably when you were standing there, as to when they were by themselves. The look of fear shows in every expression. I usually have my phone, and I wanted to take a picture so badly, and I tried. She let me.
Nature and animals have their way with me. Hands down, I become as soft as a cloud, and wish, that could be a regular experience with any and everything. No fears as to who may or may not harm you, who you can trust, and what you can let close. Animals reflect our biggest fears, and, our biggest loves.
The "mourning" is the extreme amount of innocence that gets tugged away by outside influence. It could be me, my dog, and the fear that we will kill the fawn, the simple fact that we are in her territory, and she cannot feel still, and has to be on guard in her own home...... this pains me to a great degree. It not only symbolizes how we have traveled so far away from the organics of nature, but that it also symbolizes our own personal lives, and how our innocence is constantly being toyed with, or misunderstood and brought to a place , that in today's mind, is "not learned", or understood because we are now so laden with labels, and shoulds and shouldn'ts and walk around with the ideas and culmination of what this life is "supposed to be" lived out as, according to some scientist, or some other "robot" that is mimicking a "higher" robot, and so it goes on, and on, and on!
The one thing we can always count on is.......change.
I looked at a yard that I pass on my run, and said to myself, "wow, just a few weeks ago, there were a crazy amount of bluebonnets and wild flowers", and I was taking pictures like mad, because that beauty doesn't come so easy, or should I say, last so long.
That is why it is so great to really seize your moments, that, without a doubt , WILL CHANGE. Even in that, like I said, will be a mourning process. It doesn't have to be a bad thing. I have realistically looked at change, and letting go of things, and accepting things out of my control, as just being, real! Life! There will be a letting go, and some things will be harder than others, but WOW, you can either settle in with, "This is depressing", or " WOW, life is a WILD RIDE", and I need to meet up with "reality", and do a cheers with a big ol' glass of Red. I mean, c'mon, it ain't easy. I COULD EASSSSILY BE DEPRESSED in some situations that have happened and or, are, happening for me, but man....... my little walks and time alone, do me good.
I still cry, and muddle through my thoughts..... go through my wish lists of who I want in my life, who I don't, the why's and all of the how's.......but the Truth is, I have to come clean with WHAT IS!
WHAT IS, AND WHAT IS NOT! Make a real recipe out of what ingredients are in my frig, not what I don't have, and need to buy, ya know?
It is a maturing that sheds layers. I kid you not!
Life is a kaleidoscope of things, and if you just look at it, as it appears, (a mystery), then half, if not more, of the puzzle, will be understood, and no more will be the taunting questions, the nagging wonderment of the why's, the how's, and the why shoulds....... It merely becomes........... THIS! RIGHT NOW! The moment that is blazing with wonderment, uncertainty, love, passion, question, and yes......... fear!
If fear weren't there, then where would be the fighter, who needs to fight more? Fear will always be there, and even if it hurts, I want to embrace fear and love it like I have never loved anything more.
Change will always bring about emotion!
You can rightfully mourn your own personal process, your own individual evolution. You can do what ever you want with the information that gets handed to you.
The beauty in that is that.......YOU ARE ALLOWED!
You can cry, not cry, you can accept, not accept, follow, not follow, choose, not choose....... the bottom line is.......you get to the cash register, and you meet up with yourself......... we all have to pay our "dues".
If you can look at the person checking you out, as YOURSELF, and gladly give what is asked...... you are on a good road............if you refuse to "pay", therein lies competing with other "grocery stores".
Just "pay" where you're at..... the "discounts" aren't that significant!
~
I figure there are continuous births, and too, continuous deaths.
From starting in a new school as a child, to having to leave to move on to another grade, to the friends that were there, to making new somewhere else. First loves, second loves, leaving your moms house to get your first place on your own....... siblings who you grew up with for many years, suddenly all leave and find their way into the world, and seemingly, you are always going back to "just you".
I mean, this is life..... it hit me today in a different kind of way.
Just because it is called grieving, or mourning, doesn't necessarily mean that it is bad. It is emotional, without a doubt, especially if you are sensitive to all things.
I went on my long stretch of runs with the dogs tonight, and as I got to the end of this culdisac, I saw something out of the corner of my eye. I looked and realized it was a newborn baby fawn, lying in the bushes all by itself. I quickly took my dog across the street and leashed him up so that he couldn't see the fawn. He'd go crazy if he did.
I walked back ever so slowly and quietly. I didn't want her to get away. I was so awe struck and wanted to freeze that moment. I stared at her, and she knew she wanted to run, but couldn't. I said to myself, inside, God, I would never hurt you please don't run......... She propped herself up, her ears stood straight up, and I saw all of the gorgeous white spots on her, and then she started stumbling to try to get away.
To me, it is such a shame that something like that cannot sit or lye down, just as comfortably when you were standing there, as to when they were by themselves. The look of fear shows in every expression. I usually have my phone, and I wanted to take a picture so badly, and I tried. She let me.
Nature and animals have their way with me. Hands down, I become as soft as a cloud, and wish, that could be a regular experience with any and everything. No fears as to who may or may not harm you, who you can trust, and what you can let close. Animals reflect our biggest fears, and, our biggest loves.
The "mourning" is the extreme amount of innocence that gets tugged away by outside influence. It could be me, my dog, and the fear that we will kill the fawn, the simple fact that we are in her territory, and she cannot feel still, and has to be on guard in her own home...... this pains me to a great degree. It not only symbolizes how we have traveled so far away from the organics of nature, but that it also symbolizes our own personal lives, and how our innocence is constantly being toyed with, or misunderstood and brought to a place , that in today's mind, is "not learned", or understood because we are now so laden with labels, and shoulds and shouldn'ts and walk around with the ideas and culmination of what this life is "supposed to be" lived out as, according to some scientist, or some other "robot" that is mimicking a "higher" robot, and so it goes on, and on, and on!
The one thing we can always count on is.......change.
I looked at a yard that I pass on my run, and said to myself, "wow, just a few weeks ago, there were a crazy amount of bluebonnets and wild flowers", and I was taking pictures like mad, because that beauty doesn't come so easy, or should I say, last so long.
That is why it is so great to really seize your moments, that, without a doubt , WILL CHANGE. Even in that, like I said, will be a mourning process. It doesn't have to be a bad thing. I have realistically looked at change, and letting go of things, and accepting things out of my control, as just being, real! Life! There will be a letting go, and some things will be harder than others, but WOW, you can either settle in with, "This is depressing", or " WOW, life is a WILD RIDE", and I need to meet up with "reality", and do a cheers with a big ol' glass of Red. I mean, c'mon, it ain't easy. I COULD EASSSSILY BE DEPRESSED in some situations that have happened and or, are, happening for me, but man....... my little walks and time alone, do me good.
I still cry, and muddle through my thoughts..... go through my wish lists of who I want in my life, who I don't, the why's and all of the how's.......but the Truth is, I have to come clean with WHAT IS!
WHAT IS, AND WHAT IS NOT! Make a real recipe out of what ingredients are in my frig, not what I don't have, and need to buy, ya know?
It is a maturing that sheds layers. I kid you not!
Life is a kaleidoscope of things, and if you just look at it, as it appears, (a mystery), then half, if not more, of the puzzle, will be understood, and no more will be the taunting questions, the nagging wonderment of the why's, the how's, and the why shoulds....... It merely becomes........... THIS! RIGHT NOW! The moment that is blazing with wonderment, uncertainty, love, passion, question, and yes......... fear!
If fear weren't there, then where would be the fighter, who needs to fight more? Fear will always be there, and even if it hurts, I want to embrace fear and love it like I have never loved anything more.
Change will always bring about emotion!
You can rightfully mourn your own personal process, your own individual evolution. You can do what ever you want with the information that gets handed to you.
The beauty in that is that.......YOU ARE ALLOWED!
You can cry, not cry, you can accept, not accept, follow, not follow, choose, not choose....... the bottom line is.......you get to the cash register, and you meet up with yourself......... we all have to pay our "dues".
If you can look at the person checking you out, as YOURSELF, and gladly give what is asked...... you are on a good road............if you refuse to "pay", therein lies competing with other "grocery stores".
Just "pay" where you're at..... the "discounts" aren't that significant!
~
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