WOW! It's been awhile since I've written.
I sent a friend who I haven't been in touch with for almost 30 years, my blog, and it caught me.. wow, it's been a little bit since I have written.
So many different changes, all good!!!!
The name of the game right now is being comfortable with uncertainty. A book I love by Pema Chodron.
I've practiced most of my life staying in the moment and preparing for that "flat tire". It has served me so well,
Because there has been so much ambiguity in my life it has forced me to practice being more in the moment and truly understanding what that means. It does mean practicing. It does mean discipline.
Two things I love immensely!
I love those two words because within those words, and within the action behind the words becomes a result. A positive result of how you can shape your life to your liking.
This has nothing to do with succeeding to become someone or something.
It has to do with melding into who you are and chiseling down the list to a very few simple things of how you want your life to look.
The next is ACTION!
What are you going to do to make those things happen?
It's not going to happen by osmosis. There is action that needs to happen.
Nothing heavy just tiny steps forward to a goal, or two or three. The sky is the limit.
I never like anything heavy when making a plan,
Plans need a sensitivity and a gentleness as if you are bringing home your first baby. Seriously. If you want to actually achieve that goal you need to look at it as if it is THE MOST important thing in your life and just DO IT!! There is no....... UGH.......... IT'S HOT............ or ........... I don't feel like it. Because if you had a child, and they needed you, you would do it because it HAS TO HAPPEN. You can't neglect that child. So......... why don't we pay that same attention to ourselves and our goals?
Interesting.
We get lazy!!
The flip side of the coin is........... We can't be wonder woman, or super man all of the time.
I've been telling some of my friends to slow down......... man.......... slow down........ you are on a fast track to hell........... the pace you are going. And I say that to myself as well. Is it really worth it to put ourselves at risk? To accomplish a goal?
That is where balance comes in. Everyone has to find that for themselves. Everyone has their own eclectic life, their own schedules and plans, and so it is an individual process that we have to look at and make solid decisions on how to balance it all with our crazy lives.
This is my practice.
I am very grateful that I have learned how to STOP. To see what is happening and to move without fear.To move with a trust and a learning that I only get this one body. I have to take care of it in all ways. Without that, I cannot function. As much balance as I can get, the better.
In that, I am human..........this is the trek.
Thank you for all of you who remind me to stay connected, remember who I am, and to laugh in the process.
With love and gratitude.........
Wednesday, September 10, 2014
Friday, April 4, 2014
BEING OPEN TO CHANGE
It's been a long, long year. So much change and transformation. But then again, isn't that life?
I am beginning to realize that there is no goal in life really. For me anyway. The "goal" is to live my life so complete in the moment. This doesn't mean that I don't make plans or create a future for myself, but I cannot think, for one second, that my little life could be over at any given moment.
So... what does that mean?
For me it means, grabbing every last one of my passions and desires and doing whatever I can on a daily basis to achieve those things. It means setting goals but not being attached to them. It means making plans knowing full well that they could be squelched in a second flat. Thus, plan B. But even plan B could go astray. As for C, D, E and F.
Life is truly temporary. I don't say that because I have read it in a spiritual book or have learned it from my teachings along the way.
I say it from my truth.
Life is fleeting.
Each week I head into Austin for work, I see at least 3 fatal car wrecks on highway 620. Not just once a week but 3 times a week. This has been a regular pattern.
It feels as if a strobe light is on me, in my vehicle and then panning on the road with the people who have gotten into accidents.
I say a silent prayer for them, and also for me, who continues to glide through this life with a lot of grace.
I am very well aware of my life, how crucial it is to stay awake and alert, and to also to do whatever I can to support safety to my being.
Yes, this means, I HONOR NOT TO TEXT AND DRIVE. Wow, What a statement in these times. I really do not even want to talk on the phone while driving and I do to a small degree.
I want to do any and everything to stay as present to the moment as I can.
I don't have a radio in my truck and it has been a blessing in disguise.
Now, again, I am re-introduced to myself, the car, my surroundings and life itself, from a vehicle stand point which is pretty phenomenal if there are no distractions along the way.
It is a literal driving meditation.
The wind, the air, the sky.......... I dunno......... maybe I am old school.
I am moving from a big house, (which I am used to for all of these years), to a very tiny space.
Most of my belongings will not come with me into my home, which is a lot to say for my favorite things that make me feel comfortable and cozy.
This is a different trek for me at this stage of the game.
I AM OPEN TO CHANGE.
I never want to be that person that said NO way ahead of the game, out of fear, for one thing or the other.
I am molding my life to what feels right and what supports the earth, animals, people and the environment.
That is such a generalized statement, but I will back those words up in following posts.
I feel extremely grateful to be a part of this life that allows me to be free with my words,free with my actions and free to share it with like minded individuals.
I hope to always be open to change, to make my goals come to fruition, and without a shadow of a doubt, allow the silent call to speak to me and quietly tell me what the next great move is.
It doesn't matter if anyone gets this or not. That is not what this blog is for.
This blog is a great avenue for me to express myself and put it out there.
Why?
Because if there is anything I set out to do, it is to share the holiness of daily life, the simple things, and what it is that sets me "free".
If, somehow in that, it enables you or helps you to see a different perspective on life, or allows you to do something a little bit off the beaten path, than TOUCHE'.
I just know that with all of my experiences there is no way that I could possibly hold myself back from sharing the most innocent parts of my life that have literally brought me TO LIFE, and also to share my ups and downs that impart life......and it's crazy ups and downs.
I have been very high, and also, very low, but know the beauty of finding balance.
I am utterly grateful for my life and for all of the people who have filtered in one way or the other.
Thankful for freedom of speech.
How blessed I am.
~
I am beginning to realize that there is no goal in life really. For me anyway. The "goal" is to live my life so complete in the moment. This doesn't mean that I don't make plans or create a future for myself, but I cannot think, for one second, that my little life could be over at any given moment.
So... what does that mean?
For me it means, grabbing every last one of my passions and desires and doing whatever I can on a daily basis to achieve those things. It means setting goals but not being attached to them. It means making plans knowing full well that they could be squelched in a second flat. Thus, plan B. But even plan B could go astray. As for C, D, E and F.
Life is truly temporary. I don't say that because I have read it in a spiritual book or have learned it from my teachings along the way.
I say it from my truth.
Life is fleeting.
Each week I head into Austin for work, I see at least 3 fatal car wrecks on highway 620. Not just once a week but 3 times a week. This has been a regular pattern.
It feels as if a strobe light is on me, in my vehicle and then panning on the road with the people who have gotten into accidents.
I say a silent prayer for them, and also for me, who continues to glide through this life with a lot of grace.
I am very well aware of my life, how crucial it is to stay awake and alert, and to also to do whatever I can to support safety to my being.
Yes, this means, I HONOR NOT TO TEXT AND DRIVE. Wow, What a statement in these times. I really do not even want to talk on the phone while driving and I do to a small degree.
I want to do any and everything to stay as present to the moment as I can.
I don't have a radio in my truck and it has been a blessing in disguise.
Now, again, I am re-introduced to myself, the car, my surroundings and life itself, from a vehicle stand point which is pretty phenomenal if there are no distractions along the way.
It is a literal driving meditation.
The wind, the air, the sky.......... I dunno......... maybe I am old school.
I am moving from a big house, (which I am used to for all of these years), to a very tiny space.
Most of my belongings will not come with me into my home, which is a lot to say for my favorite things that make me feel comfortable and cozy.
This is a different trek for me at this stage of the game.
I AM OPEN TO CHANGE.
I never want to be that person that said NO way ahead of the game, out of fear, for one thing or the other.
I am molding my life to what feels right and what supports the earth, animals, people and the environment.
That is such a generalized statement, but I will back those words up in following posts.
I feel extremely grateful to be a part of this life that allows me to be free with my words,free with my actions and free to share it with like minded individuals.
I hope to always be open to change, to make my goals come to fruition, and without a shadow of a doubt, allow the silent call to speak to me and quietly tell me what the next great move is.
It doesn't matter if anyone gets this or not. That is not what this blog is for.
This blog is a great avenue for me to express myself and put it out there.
Why?
Because if there is anything I set out to do, it is to share the holiness of daily life, the simple things, and what it is that sets me "free".
If, somehow in that, it enables you or helps you to see a different perspective on life, or allows you to do something a little bit off the beaten path, than TOUCHE'.
I just know that with all of my experiences there is no way that I could possibly hold myself back from sharing the most innocent parts of my life that have literally brought me TO LIFE, and also to share my ups and downs that impart life......and it's crazy ups and downs.
I have been very high, and also, very low, but know the beauty of finding balance.
I am utterly grateful for my life and for all of the people who have filtered in one way or the other.
Thankful for freedom of speech.
How blessed I am.
~
Sunday, March 9, 2014
REVELING IN MY MOMENTS
Well since I am in transition with moving I decided awhile back that I wasn't going to plant anything until I got to my new home. I packed up all of my plants and herbs and dismantled all of my gardens.
Everyday that I go out into the yard it feels like a huge void.
No plants, no herbs, no vegetables.
I felt so sad, and too, miss going out to clip off some herbs to cook with and miss snagging a few veggies to make the night's dinner.
It's a mad love affair with these simple things.
So I decided well, you know how it goes with moving and building..... there is never an exact move in date, as much as you plan on it, there are always little snaffu's here and there.
So, back go the veggie gardens. In go the herbs, and in goes the thought that worse case scenario, I transplant everything if need be, but in the mean time, things are happening and growing, and back goes the excitement of a child running out the door to see what is popping up and what I can do to nurture all of these babies.
What exactly IS growing on your farm right now Gabriela?
Funny you should ask.
I was just taking inventory.
Hmmmmm....... well..........
For starters.....
Watermelon, Squash, Zucchini, Cucumbers, Poblano Peppers, Habenero Peppers, Rainbow Swiss Chard, Turnips, Romaine Lettuce, Radishes, Tomatoes of all kinds, Oregano, Parsley, Cilantro, Peppermint, Spearmint, Thyme, Sage, Rosemary......... did I forget anything?
That is just for these next few weeks. A myriad of things will be in the ground in two weeks, getting ready for our spring menu's of wonderful food.
I recently got four goats and am in the process of studying how to make goat cheese and milk.
I am so excited and cannot wait to be able to have people learn how this beautiful process works, and to also be able to have hands on with me, to volunteer and to take classes with me as well.
With the weather as it has been it's been so hard to get things prepared for everyone and the move, but now that the weather is about to neutralize a bit, fencing needs to be put up for goats, chickens, ducks, doggies, kitties, piggies, turkeys, quail, doves, parakeets, and more eclectic birds coming.
I will be sending notices out as to when we will have volunteer parties to help get things going quicker. I will provide wonderful home cooked food for all who are willing to help, and assure you a great time with lots of fun and good laughs.
The kitchen is "on fire" tonight with so many good smells.
Stuffed Jalapenos with Cheddar Cheese wrapped in Turkey Bacon. Also, some stuffed with Toffuti for the dairy free peeps. Acorn squash with a 5 grain herbed stuffing. Pineapple, Mango, Habenero Grilled Chicken, Quinoa Salad with Roasted Garlic, honey glazed carrots, asparagus, kale,zucchini and fresh herbs and a Hawaiian fruit salad.
It's pretty darn quiet and everyone seems content here. Diego, ( my parakeet) has settled down after flirting with numerous birds outside the window, the piggies are content after our dinner routine, popcorn treats, and nightly massages, the dogs have had massages and a little steak bone, Honker and Vita had Mrs, Baird's bread and Organic lettuce, the doves were happy that Yellow Kitty didn't eat them and that they got their fair ration of scratch seed, and last but not least, all of my beautiful feral kitties were fed and loved on. I laugh at myself to see how little dishes of food are all over the property because some just won't come up onto the deck. They all have their amazing personalities and they know my call, or my song when I want them to come and eat. It is precious beyond belief.
I do thank god that no one can really hear me.
I'm dancing and singing and cooing and doing all sorts of things to relax these animals, to make them feel safe and that they can trust me.
I love this dance.
I love this dance more than anything you can imagine.
A simple Sunday.
Pretty glorious!
~
Everyday that I go out into the yard it feels like a huge void.
No plants, no herbs, no vegetables.
I felt so sad, and too, miss going out to clip off some herbs to cook with and miss snagging a few veggies to make the night's dinner.
It's a mad love affair with these simple things.
So I decided well, you know how it goes with moving and building..... there is never an exact move in date, as much as you plan on it, there are always little snaffu's here and there.
So, back go the veggie gardens. In go the herbs, and in goes the thought that worse case scenario, I transplant everything if need be, but in the mean time, things are happening and growing, and back goes the excitement of a child running out the door to see what is popping up and what I can do to nurture all of these babies.
What exactly IS growing on your farm right now Gabriela?
Funny you should ask.
I was just taking inventory.
Hmmmmm....... well..........
For starters.....
Watermelon, Squash, Zucchini, Cucumbers, Poblano Peppers, Habenero Peppers, Rainbow Swiss Chard, Turnips, Romaine Lettuce, Radishes, Tomatoes of all kinds, Oregano, Parsley, Cilantro, Peppermint, Spearmint, Thyme, Sage, Rosemary......... did I forget anything?
That is just for these next few weeks. A myriad of things will be in the ground in two weeks, getting ready for our spring menu's of wonderful food.
I recently got four goats and am in the process of studying how to make goat cheese and milk.
I am so excited and cannot wait to be able to have people learn how this beautiful process works, and to also be able to have hands on with me, to volunteer and to take classes with me as well.
With the weather as it has been it's been so hard to get things prepared for everyone and the move, but now that the weather is about to neutralize a bit, fencing needs to be put up for goats, chickens, ducks, doggies, kitties, piggies, turkeys, quail, doves, parakeets, and more eclectic birds coming.
I will be sending notices out as to when we will have volunteer parties to help get things going quicker. I will provide wonderful home cooked food for all who are willing to help, and assure you a great time with lots of fun and good laughs.
The kitchen is "on fire" tonight with so many good smells.
Stuffed Jalapenos with Cheddar Cheese wrapped in Turkey Bacon. Also, some stuffed with Toffuti for the dairy free peeps. Acorn squash with a 5 grain herbed stuffing. Pineapple, Mango, Habenero Grilled Chicken, Quinoa Salad with Roasted Garlic, honey glazed carrots, asparagus, kale,zucchini and fresh herbs and a Hawaiian fruit salad.
It's pretty darn quiet and everyone seems content here. Diego, ( my parakeet) has settled down after flirting with numerous birds outside the window, the piggies are content after our dinner routine, popcorn treats, and nightly massages, the dogs have had massages and a little steak bone, Honker and Vita had Mrs, Baird's bread and Organic lettuce, the doves were happy that Yellow Kitty didn't eat them and that they got their fair ration of scratch seed, and last but not least, all of my beautiful feral kitties were fed and loved on. I laugh at myself to see how little dishes of food are all over the property because some just won't come up onto the deck. They all have their amazing personalities and they know my call, or my song when I want them to come and eat. It is precious beyond belief.
I do thank god that no one can really hear me.
I'm dancing and singing and cooing and doing all sorts of things to relax these animals, to make them feel safe and that they can trust me.
I love this dance.
I love this dance more than anything you can imagine.
A simple Sunday.
Pretty glorious!
~
Friday, March 7, 2014
Gettin' down to Nothin'.
The name of the game these days, for me is getting real simple. Not just simple outwardly, but simple inwardly as well.
It's refreshing and also a little bit scary.
I've lived my life large, in many aspects, and my heart has always been simple, but not everything has been in sync with the word simple on the outside.
I find myself saying quite often that I am old school, and in my heart of hearts I am.
I like things like, family night, whether you have children, animals, or are alone. This night, to me, encompasses no TV, no phones, no noise, just you and the kids, or nature and silence.
Sumptuous food on the stove. Doing nothing or just paying attention to the kids. Filling your cup.
Getting into the garden, tilling the soil, preparing new beds, getting excited about what next months veggies are going to go into the ground. Thinking about what food you are going to make with those veggies and then how you can share it! THAT'S the name of the game for me. Sharing all of this!
It is a day that is not involved with going and doing but just BEING. Emptying the brain and allowing new thoughts to come in, new ideas, and to just let your soul relax into a natural groove.
Every day of the week I am connected to the computer in some way. My IPhone, driving, working, selling, talking, moving, maneuvering in the world to make things happen.
I think I owe it to myself to take a "vacation" from the brain and from life on the outside, to do the things that fill me on the inside. Usually what that means for me is to just not talk, to drown myself in nature and my animals, garden, cook, and to do just everyday normal things but there is no noise.
It gives me such an OOMPH and a recharge for what needs to happen in all areas of my life.
I now have my 5 piggies, two dogs, geese, ducks, doves and as of recent, about 20 feral cats whom I have adopted as my own and jump out of bed, and or rush home to greet them as if it were Christmas morning.
My farm is about to grow in the next few months as I will have more land and will be able to house everyone comfortably.
Turkeys, goats, chickens, ducks, geese and sheep. After all, Turkey Eggs are scrump- delicious, the dogs love them too! Duck eggs...... doggie food and great for baking.......... organic chicken eggs for breakfast and for the animals......... goats milk and cheese...... and what more could you want than to make your own clothes from the wool of a sheep, I mean, c'mon. ONE STOP SHOP!
Then you have the garden.........the herbs, veggies, fruits........... and Gabriela's cooking?
Forget about it!
There is a bigger picture here, but as I am "spoon feeding" myself, I am spoon feeding you with all of my thoughts and ideas about living a simple, sustainable life for you and your family.
Stay tuned for more info on my farm, what is happening, the animals, the food that is brewing, and what is in store for YOU!
Also please stay tuned for other links to music, special sites that will inform you on what is happening in our food industry and current information on our animals and what is REALLY happening.
So much information is out there but sometimes I think with smaller avenues like this blog, it is easier to digest for some people because it isn't so intrusive.
I'm not about the fancy wording or selling of anything, just simple in wanting to spread the word about how we can cut to the chase on being simple, getting down to basics, creating a sustainable living environment, helping one another and helping to save some beautiful animals that deserve to live a full life just like you and I.
For tonight.......... I am just catching up with you and wanting to stay connected.
There are many beautiful things about to happen, so stay with me. If you all have any questions or any information to share, I would love to hear from you. You can either reply to these posts or email me a gabbyrubino@gmail.com
Thank you for supporting me and my animals for so many years.
We love and appreciate you all!!!
Gabriela and The Farm
It's refreshing and also a little bit scary.
I've lived my life large, in many aspects, and my heart has always been simple, but not everything has been in sync with the word simple on the outside.
I find myself saying quite often that I am old school, and in my heart of hearts I am.
I like things like, family night, whether you have children, animals, or are alone. This night, to me, encompasses no TV, no phones, no noise, just you and the kids, or nature and silence.
Sumptuous food on the stove. Doing nothing or just paying attention to the kids. Filling your cup.
Getting into the garden, tilling the soil, preparing new beds, getting excited about what next months veggies are going to go into the ground. Thinking about what food you are going to make with those veggies and then how you can share it! THAT'S the name of the game for me. Sharing all of this!
It is a day that is not involved with going and doing but just BEING. Emptying the brain and allowing new thoughts to come in, new ideas, and to just let your soul relax into a natural groove.
Every day of the week I am connected to the computer in some way. My IPhone, driving, working, selling, talking, moving, maneuvering in the world to make things happen.
I think I owe it to myself to take a "vacation" from the brain and from life on the outside, to do the things that fill me on the inside. Usually what that means for me is to just not talk, to drown myself in nature and my animals, garden, cook, and to do just everyday normal things but there is no noise.
It gives me such an OOMPH and a recharge for what needs to happen in all areas of my life.
I now have my 5 piggies, two dogs, geese, ducks, doves and as of recent, about 20 feral cats whom I have adopted as my own and jump out of bed, and or rush home to greet them as if it were Christmas morning.
My farm is about to grow in the next few months as I will have more land and will be able to house everyone comfortably.
Turkeys, goats, chickens, ducks, geese and sheep. After all, Turkey Eggs are scrump- delicious, the dogs love them too! Duck eggs...... doggie food and great for baking.......... organic chicken eggs for breakfast and for the animals......... goats milk and cheese...... and what more could you want than to make your own clothes from the wool of a sheep, I mean, c'mon. ONE STOP SHOP!
Then you have the garden.........the herbs, veggies, fruits........... and Gabriela's cooking?
Forget about it!
There is a bigger picture here, but as I am "spoon feeding" myself, I am spoon feeding you with all of my thoughts and ideas about living a simple, sustainable life for you and your family.
Stay tuned for more info on my farm, what is happening, the animals, the food that is brewing, and what is in store for YOU!
Also please stay tuned for other links to music, special sites that will inform you on what is happening in our food industry and current information on our animals and what is REALLY happening.
So much information is out there but sometimes I think with smaller avenues like this blog, it is easier to digest for some people because it isn't so intrusive.
I'm not about the fancy wording or selling of anything, just simple in wanting to spread the word about how we can cut to the chase on being simple, getting down to basics, creating a sustainable living environment, helping one another and helping to save some beautiful animals that deserve to live a full life just like you and I.
For tonight.......... I am just catching up with you and wanting to stay connected.
There are many beautiful things about to happen, so stay with me. If you all have any questions or any information to share, I would love to hear from you. You can either reply to these posts or email me a gabbyrubino@gmail.com
Thank you for supporting me and my animals for so many years.
We love and appreciate you all!!!
Gabriela and The Farm
Sunday, November 3, 2013
A BLESSED AND ADVENTUROUS RIDE
It is so hard to encapsulize the enormity of a year longs experience in a place and time.
I find it difficult to articulate my time here in Georgetown.
From the moment I met E, it was a past life reoccurring for one reason or another.
I can actually name quite a few, and it is no little thing.
I know this blog will probably seem somewhat ambiguous, because it is too much detail to name.
I know and have felt very strongly in my life that things happen for a reason, but that sentence almost seems trite. Almost esoteric in a way, but not really.
I don't want to be concerned about the "reader" and how my words will be interpreted.
I merely am expressing myself, as usual, unedited, and not caring too much about how it is read.
I was in a situation that led me to move instantly.
I am not good with battling.
I like fair play, and if it is not fair play, I scramble.
My mind does not do good with games.
Long story short, my life came to a cornerstone where I had to scramble, with less than nothing.
I had a friend who I delivered food to a few days a week that I just adored.
I told her of my situation and she genuinely gave me some good advice and sent me to her dear friend who she thought could be of help to me.
From that moment on, I have felt like God had sent me angels. Not just one but several, and for different reasons.
I mean, god was showering me in ways that baffled me, yet my soul understood and recognized the enormity of grace. The Grace that I know in my heart as a sheer gift.
I had been given this, in more ways than I could count at the time, but as I sit here today, and everyday, really, I look around, at EVERYTHING and realize how grateful I am for so many different things and will never take anything for granted.
This could, and probably will be, a book. Too much for one blog, so I will catch you up.
I just felt compelled tonight to write about a fascinating, and beautiful journey that I have been on for the past year, and to recognize the amazing "characters" that have entered into my life and how I feel indebted to them for their graciousness,their humbleness, and their willingness to believe in my honest soul.
I honestly will never forget these kindred spirits for the rest of my life.
This is no small undertaking.
People don't have to trust.
And quite honestly, they don't have to give if they don't want to, but yet..............THEY DID!
I am humbled beyond belief in so many ways and my night is all about gratitude.
I sit here in my living room and look around in wonderment. Detail for detail.
I could never be sitting comfortable, and safe, and in such a land of wonderment, if it weren't for a few precious souls that believed in my heart and allowed me to rest in their beloved space.
I feel honored and blessed and so many things that I have yet to articulate.
Thank you to the Source that continuously feeds this soul and allows me to give back to all that serves me.
I am in sheer gratitude for my life and for every moment that I am breathing and alive in GOD.
Thank you for my life.
~
I find it difficult to articulate my time here in Georgetown.
From the moment I met E, it was a past life reoccurring for one reason or another.
I can actually name quite a few, and it is no little thing.
I know this blog will probably seem somewhat ambiguous, because it is too much detail to name.
I know and have felt very strongly in my life that things happen for a reason, but that sentence almost seems trite. Almost esoteric in a way, but not really.
I don't want to be concerned about the "reader" and how my words will be interpreted.
I merely am expressing myself, as usual, unedited, and not caring too much about how it is read.
I was in a situation that led me to move instantly.
I am not good with battling.
I like fair play, and if it is not fair play, I scramble.
My mind does not do good with games.
Long story short, my life came to a cornerstone where I had to scramble, with less than nothing.
I had a friend who I delivered food to a few days a week that I just adored.
I told her of my situation and she genuinely gave me some good advice and sent me to her dear friend who she thought could be of help to me.
From that moment on, I have felt like God had sent me angels. Not just one but several, and for different reasons.
I mean, god was showering me in ways that baffled me, yet my soul understood and recognized the enormity of grace. The Grace that I know in my heart as a sheer gift.
I had been given this, in more ways than I could count at the time, but as I sit here today, and everyday, really, I look around, at EVERYTHING and realize how grateful I am for so many different things and will never take anything for granted.
This could, and probably will be, a book. Too much for one blog, so I will catch you up.
I just felt compelled tonight to write about a fascinating, and beautiful journey that I have been on for the past year, and to recognize the amazing "characters" that have entered into my life and how I feel indebted to them for their graciousness,their humbleness, and their willingness to believe in my honest soul.
I honestly will never forget these kindred spirits for the rest of my life.
This is no small undertaking.
People don't have to trust.
And quite honestly, they don't have to give if they don't want to, but yet..............THEY DID!
I am humbled beyond belief in so many ways and my night is all about gratitude.
I sit here in my living room and look around in wonderment. Detail for detail.
I could never be sitting comfortable, and safe, and in such a land of wonderment, if it weren't for a few precious souls that believed in my heart and allowed me to rest in their beloved space.
I feel honored and blessed and so many things that I have yet to articulate.
Thank you to the Source that continuously feeds this soul and allows me to give back to all that serves me.
I am in sheer gratitude for my life and for every moment that I am breathing and alive in GOD.
Thank you for my life.
~
Tuesday, September 24, 2013
STILLNESS
When I am around chaos, or life situations, or just daily life that takes me to a place of unrest, I have to reel myself in. I do that in a way that I know is good for me to stay balanced and settled and in a solid foundation that will allow me to cope with anything that is thrown my way.
I realize everyone has their own way, and no one way is THE WAY.
For me though, in general, I need quiet, quiet, quiet.
From the time I wake up, my mind is already telling me if I need to be depressed, excited, angry, anxiety ridden........ you name it. It is right there to tell me that my day should not be settled because of this that or the other thing. It takes everything for me to sit up to ward off unwanted negative thoughts that want to make their way in.
I have devoted my life to changing that tune.
My life has dwindled down to a very few simple things that make me happy and what I know to work for me in this crazy little life.
Things aren't easy. We get dealt things that we aren't prepared for, that we have to deal with no matter what. Our bodies do a dance that we don't recognize and we have to act accordingly. Life situations come at us out of the blue and we wonder, how on earth will we ever deal with these things?
Are we truly equipped for this sort of thing?
I would not have said that years ago when my mother was passing.
I thought that was the end of my world and that I didn't have it in me to deal with whatever my body was taking on in result of her illness/death.
I went through it, came out of it, and still, 6 years later, am digesting that time, formulating my thoughts, my existence with her, my brothers and sisters, and my whole entire up bringing for that matter.
If you are any kind of a thinker, this will come upon you. Things need to be sorted out.
It is a bitter sweet ride, one that I have embraced and have loved, actually.
Throughout this time, and as a young child, it all remains the same. I devote my life to understanding my existence here and with all who are in my life.
My parents are another story, and a story WILL BE told.
I have been taught grand things. Too much for a blog. May I save it for the long awaited book that my mother so wanted from me before she passed.
Life is painful. That is just a reality I have come to embrace.
My mother said to me when she passed, "Honey, this is no easy ride". Be brave!
I get it more and more everyday.
The key for me is STILLNESS.
If I cannot hear beyond the noise, than life is watered down to an idea.
A mere thought of what is supposed to be.
I am so very grateful for my moments.
The daily moments that are kept sacred, and away from the chaos of the world, the "norm", and what is "supposed to be".
There IS a voice inside.
When I give myself that time, that solitude, no question arises. It just is, and I feel complete.~
I realize everyone has their own way, and no one way is THE WAY.
For me though, in general, I need quiet, quiet, quiet.
From the time I wake up, my mind is already telling me if I need to be depressed, excited, angry, anxiety ridden........ you name it. It is right there to tell me that my day should not be settled because of this that or the other thing. It takes everything for me to sit up to ward off unwanted negative thoughts that want to make their way in.
I have devoted my life to changing that tune.
My life has dwindled down to a very few simple things that make me happy and what I know to work for me in this crazy little life.
Things aren't easy. We get dealt things that we aren't prepared for, that we have to deal with no matter what. Our bodies do a dance that we don't recognize and we have to act accordingly. Life situations come at us out of the blue and we wonder, how on earth will we ever deal with these things?
Are we truly equipped for this sort of thing?
I would not have said that years ago when my mother was passing.
I thought that was the end of my world and that I didn't have it in me to deal with whatever my body was taking on in result of her illness/death.
I went through it, came out of it, and still, 6 years later, am digesting that time, formulating my thoughts, my existence with her, my brothers and sisters, and my whole entire up bringing for that matter.
If you are any kind of a thinker, this will come upon you. Things need to be sorted out.
It is a bitter sweet ride, one that I have embraced and have loved, actually.
Throughout this time, and as a young child, it all remains the same. I devote my life to understanding my existence here and with all who are in my life.
My parents are another story, and a story WILL BE told.
I have been taught grand things. Too much for a blog. May I save it for the long awaited book that my mother so wanted from me before she passed.
Life is painful. That is just a reality I have come to embrace.
My mother said to me when she passed, "Honey, this is no easy ride". Be brave!
I get it more and more everyday.
The key for me is STILLNESS.
If I cannot hear beyond the noise, than life is watered down to an idea.
A mere thought of what is supposed to be.
I am so very grateful for my moments.
The daily moments that are kept sacred, and away from the chaos of the world, the "norm", and what is "supposed to be".
There IS a voice inside.
When I give myself that time, that solitude, no question arises. It just is, and I feel complete.~
Friday, September 20, 2013
WE DON'T REALLY KNOW........DO WE?
For a long time I have lived my life as if the next moment could change and I wouldn't know from one moment to the next what would happen.
I STILL live my life this way.
It is my solid reality and so that dictates how I maneuver in the world.
I have my own solid "plans" on how I would like for things to look, but I know damn well that as soon as those words are let off of my tongue, that "it" is subject to change.
I wake up knowing that it is a great possibility that leaving the house........ "I WILL GET A FLAT TIRE", no matter how that shows up. It could be that my phone dies, or that I truly DO get a flat tire, or my friend is in need when my schedule is booked. You know, you have all of your plans and your day is scheduled, yet life happens and you either acquiesce or you fight life and feel miserable along the way.
Things lately seem to be showing the impermanence of our existence.
Friends and family are either passing or going through major medical situations and this IS IT!
We have had our time here, and have done what we wanted, but the "tail end" for some of us is facing us in the mirror and it can be an altering state, at least for me it is.
I look at my childhood, my teens, my early 20's and on, and see the picture, what I have chosen and how it is all being played out, and I am finding myself at a stand still.
It is mind boggling how we get this ONE life.
We don't get it as kids, yet my awareness as a kid and teen were too evolved for my liking. I knew too much for my age, wisdom wise, and found it extremely difficult to just "be". I felt like an old woman, looking back on her life. Very difficult to explain.
Everyday, I do realize that my time could be up.
I am not afraid to say so.
I have lived a very full life, with no regrets.
I'm not saying that times weren't hard or difficult, but they molded me, transformed me, and taught me things. Simple as that.
My goal is to always try to help, but in that is a very complex way of living.
Taking responsibility for WHY.
No matter what it looks like, my life is cut out to serve. In what capacity, well......... I can say, people, animals, kids.......... feed the hungry......... I don't know........... everyday is a surprise to me. If I am able to do something for someone it brightens my heart, my soul. I feel this bubbling sensation from my gut. It's so organic, I can barely stand it.
I have so many passions, so many goals, but if it were all to end tomorrow, I truly would know that I gave my heart to the things that I thought were important. I guess if I missed something it would find me and I would be able to finish "it" at some point and time, whether here now, or next time.
The fact of the matter is......... I DO NOT KNOW................. when my little time is up.
I have been graced with a pretty stellar existence.
If I were to spell that out now I'd be in tears.
My simple life has been amazing, so telling, and wow, so grandiose!
I know everyone has their own story, and I love hearing those stories.
When I think of mine, I smile, I cry, I contemplate, and know in my heart that this is just my own personal journey, and I take what I can from it and learn, and grow and look at life as the best possible teaching there could be!
I don't know. There has been a big learning curve this past year and it has catapulted me into a different arena. I'm still making sense of it and sharing along the way.
Stay with me and share as you will.
Just sharing a slice of my life with you.
~
I STILL live my life this way.
It is my solid reality and so that dictates how I maneuver in the world.
I have my own solid "plans" on how I would like for things to look, but I know damn well that as soon as those words are let off of my tongue, that "it" is subject to change.
I wake up knowing that it is a great possibility that leaving the house........ "I WILL GET A FLAT TIRE", no matter how that shows up. It could be that my phone dies, or that I truly DO get a flat tire, or my friend is in need when my schedule is booked. You know, you have all of your plans and your day is scheduled, yet life happens and you either acquiesce or you fight life and feel miserable along the way.
Things lately seem to be showing the impermanence of our existence.
Friends and family are either passing or going through major medical situations and this IS IT!
We have had our time here, and have done what we wanted, but the "tail end" for some of us is facing us in the mirror and it can be an altering state, at least for me it is.
I look at my childhood, my teens, my early 20's and on, and see the picture, what I have chosen and how it is all being played out, and I am finding myself at a stand still.
It is mind boggling how we get this ONE life.
We don't get it as kids, yet my awareness as a kid and teen were too evolved for my liking. I knew too much for my age, wisdom wise, and found it extremely difficult to just "be". I felt like an old woman, looking back on her life. Very difficult to explain.
Everyday, I do realize that my time could be up.
I am not afraid to say so.
I have lived a very full life, with no regrets.
I'm not saying that times weren't hard or difficult, but they molded me, transformed me, and taught me things. Simple as that.
My goal is to always try to help, but in that is a very complex way of living.
Taking responsibility for WHY.
No matter what it looks like, my life is cut out to serve. In what capacity, well......... I can say, people, animals, kids.......... feed the hungry......... I don't know........... everyday is a surprise to me. If I am able to do something for someone it brightens my heart, my soul. I feel this bubbling sensation from my gut. It's so organic, I can barely stand it.
I have so many passions, so many goals, but if it were all to end tomorrow, I truly would know that I gave my heart to the things that I thought were important. I guess if I missed something it would find me and I would be able to finish "it" at some point and time, whether here now, or next time.
The fact of the matter is......... I DO NOT KNOW................. when my little time is up.
I have been graced with a pretty stellar existence.
If I were to spell that out now I'd be in tears.
My simple life has been amazing, so telling, and wow, so grandiose!
I know everyone has their own story, and I love hearing those stories.
When I think of mine, I smile, I cry, I contemplate, and know in my heart that this is just my own personal journey, and I take what I can from it and learn, and grow and look at life as the best possible teaching there could be!
I don't know. There has been a big learning curve this past year and it has catapulted me into a different arena. I'm still making sense of it and sharing along the way.
Stay with me and share as you will.
Just sharing a slice of my life with you.
~
Tuesday, July 16, 2013
THE GRASS ISN'T REALLY GREENER...... IT'S NOT!
If you are thinking that your life will be better ONCE.......this or that happens, you are sadly mistaken. I guess that makes me opinionated. Yes, I guess so! But I have always believed it to be true.
Well, not really. For a long time I believed that if I made X amount of money, it would make me happy.
Well X came, and it satisfied the little girl who grew up poor and wanted "things". Well, I got the beautiful custom built home, the booming business, the BMW sports car and SUV. Traveling around the world, clothes like I had never had, buying my friends whatever they needed, or wanted, giving to my favorite charities, and doing some amazing work personally that I could never trade for the world.
Well, I got to that other side that I thought would finally keep me at peace.
It worried me even more that I would not be able to maintain that income. To be able to manifest things like I did, and lose everything I worked so hard for.
Well, that time finally came.
I lost that income, my cars, my house and everything I had worked, blood, sweat and tears for.
My world changed and my perspective had to change in a big way.
It was super humbling, and to this day, still is!
I stay alone for the most part.
I have alot on my plate, and I do not complain. I just realize what I have created and am trying to adjust, neutralize, and balance and mold my life to the way I really want to see it.
I'm always a work in progress.
I truly am not looking to be a millionaire, it's really not appealing to me, nor do I want to be struggling everyday to pay my bills.
I have my own personal goals, and they are simple, pretty humble and do-able.
I am trying to live in the moment with WHAT IS, rather than fighting reality.
I have had to get pretty specific with my life and my time and how it is spent,
for spiritual reasons, for sanity purposes, and to let the "voice" from within reveal itself to me.
I cannot have too much noise at all. Really, I cannot hear myself, or any other words of wisdom coming through with a bunch of music, noise and chatter. I've dwindled down my talk time, my time in general with people and things. It works for me and my lifestyle, and how that makes or breaks my days.
I'm learning to be good and HAPPY with whatever IS. If somehow I left this plane tomorrow, I would feel in my heart that I lived every day of my life in happiness. I have my animals and my spiritual connection that has kept me in line and in LOVE. But that is my daily choice. To be happy with WHAT IS rather than waiting until that perfect moment when I am on the beach, or in another city, or making more money or, this or that.
My life is not perfect, but in all of it's imperfections, I am so in love.
I'm grateful for my breath, for the ability to love, to give, to receive, to help friends, to accept help, to love on my animals and make them top priority because they are, and to know that I always have room to learn and grow. I learn something everyday in how I can change and be better, how to love more, and be less of "myself".
I feel so utterly grateful for my life and what it consists of in this moment, not wanting anything more, or anything less. Enjoying my moments.......my tiny, tiny, moments that make my life so worthwhile.
Thank you for everyone who is in my life that makes it so special and allows me to give AND to receive, in the most glorious ways.
~
Friday, July 12, 2013
PONY UP
It seems that the name of the game is looking at all of our stuff, whether it be bills, work, responsibilities, deadlines, taking care of the house, the animals, eating healthy, taking care of our bodies, keeping up with friends, making sure you are not absent, but present with their world, instead of being so consumed with our world.
It is a balance from hell!
I don't really mean that like it sounds, but I know for me, from the moment I wake up, it is my responsibility to CONNECT before I even get out of bed, to make sure my mind set is in tact, to deal with what is ahead for the day. I never know, really, what that will look like.
I do know that there is a lot on my plate, like so many others, and all of us are finding our way to make it work, to smile along the way, amongst it all, and to make it good in our heads and in our hearts.
It's different for all of us.
I know so many friends who are not waiting for that"perfect" time, when all is paid, all is in perfect order, to be happy.
I know, and feel fine to say that my life is not in perfect order. I have bills, I'd like to make more money to pay off my debt, I would like to buy presents for my friends. I LOVE buying fun things for friends because I can and want to. That is a huge fun thing for me. It's like going to the Jersey Shore and playing Skeeball. ( I am a winner at skeeball) and getting a huge stuffed animal because you kicked ass at skeeball.
Kinda.
Yes, I love to give gifts because people have been good to me. If I don't have the means, then I cook. I give food because I can and want to. I'm Italian hello?
I feel like I am playing Russian Roulette these days with my life.
Trying to zone in on what I really want, how my animals will be safe, and how, at this time in my life, things can get just a bit more simple, but not compromising myself or my passions.
It's like a puzzle.
I always say, "think outside of the box" because things aren't so readily available like we would like.
I have to be so creative with my goals, my desires and everything else that is in my life, with the situation at hand, for the moment.
It's not easy, but my solace is this..............
THE MOMENT.
Every single moment reveals my next moment.
I can plan all I want but life throws curve balls that I have got to be prepared for.
Plan A may not work and even plan B could falter, so I have to be on my toes.
It's just me here and I don't really have time to miss a beat.
It is a huge responsibility but one I am willing 100% to work with to stay at a peace and a calm.
I watch myself.
I have figured out routines for each and every situation that occurs, whether it be a dog fight to SURPRISE SURPRISE 5 little piggies, to this that and the other thing living on a farm and just living life.........regular life.
I like my routine, and my animals respond to routine.
I think of my Mom, yet again.
Nothing was perfect, by all means, but there was a routine.There was LOVE, and there was a willingness to see things through.
That's all, really.
The moments will reveal what needs to happen next.
I pony up to my responsibilities and want to stay clean and honest on my journey.
I do believe in Karma.
You get what you give.
More to that, but for another blog.
I am grateful for my decisions, the ability to have freedom of choice, and to be able to have the consciousness to change again and again.
I never want to stop growing.
I feel extremely humble tonight.
I wish I could convey this to my momma.
She would partake, so graciously, in this conversation.
I think maybe she can hear, or see......still not sure how I feel about that.
What I do know is that my heart... my deep, deep heart continues to perplex me and soothe me at the same time. It is the Mystery that I am so drawn to and continuously trying to find ways understand it all.
It will more than likely be my mission in life.
I don't think I will ever be satisfied.
My work continues................................ ~
It is a balance from hell!
I don't really mean that like it sounds, but I know for me, from the moment I wake up, it is my responsibility to CONNECT before I even get out of bed, to make sure my mind set is in tact, to deal with what is ahead for the day. I never know, really, what that will look like.
I do know that there is a lot on my plate, like so many others, and all of us are finding our way to make it work, to smile along the way, amongst it all, and to make it good in our heads and in our hearts.
It's different for all of us.
I know so many friends who are not waiting for that"perfect" time, when all is paid, all is in perfect order, to be happy.
I know, and feel fine to say that my life is not in perfect order. I have bills, I'd like to make more money to pay off my debt, I would like to buy presents for my friends. I LOVE buying fun things for friends because I can and want to. That is a huge fun thing for me. It's like going to the Jersey Shore and playing Skeeball. ( I am a winner at skeeball) and getting a huge stuffed animal because you kicked ass at skeeball.
Kinda.
Yes, I love to give gifts because people have been good to me. If I don't have the means, then I cook. I give food because I can and want to. I'm Italian hello?
I feel like I am playing Russian Roulette these days with my life.
Trying to zone in on what I really want, how my animals will be safe, and how, at this time in my life, things can get just a bit more simple, but not compromising myself or my passions.
It's like a puzzle.
I always say, "think outside of the box" because things aren't so readily available like we would like.
I have to be so creative with my goals, my desires and everything else that is in my life, with the situation at hand, for the moment.
It's not easy, but my solace is this..............
THE MOMENT.
Every single moment reveals my next moment.
I can plan all I want but life throws curve balls that I have got to be prepared for.
Plan A may not work and even plan B could falter, so I have to be on my toes.
It's just me here and I don't really have time to miss a beat.
It is a huge responsibility but one I am willing 100% to work with to stay at a peace and a calm.
I watch myself.
I have figured out routines for each and every situation that occurs, whether it be a dog fight to SURPRISE SURPRISE 5 little piggies, to this that and the other thing living on a farm and just living life.........regular life.
I like my routine, and my animals respond to routine.
I think of my Mom, yet again.
Nothing was perfect, by all means, but there was a routine.There was LOVE, and there was a willingness to see things through.
That's all, really.
The moments will reveal what needs to happen next.
I pony up to my responsibilities and want to stay clean and honest on my journey.
I do believe in Karma.
You get what you give.
More to that, but for another blog.
I am grateful for my decisions, the ability to have freedom of choice, and to be able to have the consciousness to change again and again.
I never want to stop growing.
I feel extremely humble tonight.
I wish I could convey this to my momma.
She would partake, so graciously, in this conversation.
I think maybe she can hear, or see......still not sure how I feel about that.
What I do know is that my heart... my deep, deep heart continues to perplex me and soothe me at the same time. It is the Mystery that I am so drawn to and continuously trying to find ways understand it all.
It will more than likely be my mission in life.
I don't think I will ever be satisfied.
My work continues................................ ~
Thursday, July 11, 2013
COMPASSION FOR ALL THINGS
For all of you who know me, you know that my life is devoted to each and every pet that I have. Not only MY pets, but any last one that I can help.
It's overwhelming to me, but at the same time, little steps help, and make a total difference in the lives of these creatures that make our lives so alive and full.
I felt no different when I made my trek to Africa to make a difference and found myself a new person. I was catapulted into another realm, where there was no "me" and although it seemed overwhelming to help these villages, to get uniforms for school, utensils, food, netting for their "homes" in the dirt, to keep the mosquito's away, to go to the grocery store and buy what we take for total granted, like sugar, salt, flour, soap and water.
Their are people and animals all over, you name it, that need our help.
It's not like you have to take on some huge project. In my brain, with a lot of things, you don't look at the entire picture to start off because it will scare you to death and you won't make any kind of move toward change.
I tell my personal training clients and clients who are on diets and nutrition programs the very same thing.
Start by taking one moment at a time. If you look at the bigger picture the whole time you will be overwhelmed to the point of not doing a damn thing because it is just too, too much to digest.
NO!
One little step at a time.
A few years ago I adopted a 5 week old piglet.
I did some research, but for the most part I have been indoctrinated into "Piglethood".
To make a long story short, I have become so involved and devoted to the care and love for these animals that get thrown to the way side, as "just a pig", and generally everyone gets one to put on their spit and sit around and have a beer while watching this beautiful creature turn and turn burning on a fire.
I say this, but I will tell you. I grew up in an old school Italian family that every Sunday, we had a huge pot of sauce with sausage, meatballs and yes......... PIGS FEET!
It was all of our favorite with a bowl of pasta, are you kidding?
Never in a million years did I think I would ever have pigs as pets.
When I was a child growing up in Caanon Connecticut, we lived across from a farm. Everyday I would go visit my friends, especially my pig friend who I laughed at so hard because she would lick my hand with her "sand paper" tongue and it would tickle me like nothing other. There were all kinds of farm animals and it was my solice!
One night Dad woke up totally alarmed. We all woke up only to see the complete farm totally on fire. All of my precious friends were not there anymore. I was completely devastated.
That isn't the reason for me writing.
My reason for writing is that every creature on this earth needs and deserves a full and lovely life.
Not to be put in cages, to be shot up with drugs and to be confined to areas that are just not acceptable for anyone.
I have had the glorious experience of bringing up a little piglet from 5 weeks old.
She slept with me, she had classical music playing 24/7, has had a better diet with fruits, vegetables and grains than most of us.
I have studied her since then.
I have been in a complete state of awe at these "pigs" that we think are just there for meat.
I cannot express how loving, intelligent and sensitive these beings are.
I feel that is such a lack of expression.
Everyone says, "Yeah, I hear pigs are really smart". Well, yes they are, but more than that, they are like YOU AND ME.
If you sit and study these beings they are like us on every level.
So now my "little girl" has had 5 beautiful piglets. The runt left at one week.
I still have four.
My mother instincts have kicked in big time and I am more than happy to accommodate and do what is needed.
I want to make you aware of the cruelty with gestation crates.
There is a growing national and international recognition of the inherent cruelty of confining breeding pigs in gestation crates. Metal stalls so small the animals are unable to lie down, turn around or even walk for their entire lives!!! In such intensive confinement without mental or physical stimulation, these sensitive ,social, and intelligent animals suffer extreme physical and physycological distress. As a result this needlessly inhumane factory farming practice has been banned throughout the entire European union, New Zealand and the State of Florida, Arizona, Oregon, Washington, California, Maine, Michigan, Colorado, and Ohio.
Grocery store "giants" like Costco, Kroger and Safeway condone confining pigs in crates barely larger than their bodies by continuing to purchase and sell pork from factory farms that confine pigs in gestation crates, including Iowa select farms.
Please help me in the smallest of ways, to help these sweet babies to live a normal life where they can graze, and live a life like" Fido" your dog, that you would do anything for.
Please urge your grocery store that you frequent, to phase out the use of gestation crates, something Whole Foods, Chipotle, and other major food providers have already done.
You don't have to have a piglet to have compassion.
Please, at least in your spare time will you investigate what I am trying to relay. I'm not telling you to do one thing or the other, just to consider and contemplate.
Also please join me in MFA. Mercy for Animals. Help me to SPEAK OUT FOR PIGS.
Thank you from the bottom of my heart!
Gabriela, Idgy and the 4 babies that give us hope and love. xxxooo
It's overwhelming to me, but at the same time, little steps help, and make a total difference in the lives of these creatures that make our lives so alive and full.
I felt no different when I made my trek to Africa to make a difference and found myself a new person. I was catapulted into another realm, where there was no "me" and although it seemed overwhelming to help these villages, to get uniforms for school, utensils, food, netting for their "homes" in the dirt, to keep the mosquito's away, to go to the grocery store and buy what we take for total granted, like sugar, salt, flour, soap and water.
Their are people and animals all over, you name it, that need our help.
It's not like you have to take on some huge project. In my brain, with a lot of things, you don't look at the entire picture to start off because it will scare you to death and you won't make any kind of move toward change.
I tell my personal training clients and clients who are on diets and nutrition programs the very same thing.
Start by taking one moment at a time. If you look at the bigger picture the whole time you will be overwhelmed to the point of not doing a damn thing because it is just too, too much to digest.
NO!
One little step at a time.
A few years ago I adopted a 5 week old piglet.
I did some research, but for the most part I have been indoctrinated into "Piglethood".
To make a long story short, I have become so involved and devoted to the care and love for these animals that get thrown to the way side, as "just a pig", and generally everyone gets one to put on their spit and sit around and have a beer while watching this beautiful creature turn and turn burning on a fire.
I say this, but I will tell you. I grew up in an old school Italian family that every Sunday, we had a huge pot of sauce with sausage, meatballs and yes......... PIGS FEET!
It was all of our favorite with a bowl of pasta, are you kidding?
Never in a million years did I think I would ever have pigs as pets.
When I was a child growing up in Caanon Connecticut, we lived across from a farm. Everyday I would go visit my friends, especially my pig friend who I laughed at so hard because she would lick my hand with her "sand paper" tongue and it would tickle me like nothing other. There were all kinds of farm animals and it was my solice!
One night Dad woke up totally alarmed. We all woke up only to see the complete farm totally on fire. All of my precious friends were not there anymore. I was completely devastated.
That isn't the reason for me writing.
My reason for writing is that every creature on this earth needs and deserves a full and lovely life.
Not to be put in cages, to be shot up with drugs and to be confined to areas that are just not acceptable for anyone.
I have had the glorious experience of bringing up a little piglet from 5 weeks old.
She slept with me, she had classical music playing 24/7, has had a better diet with fruits, vegetables and grains than most of us.
I have studied her since then.
I have been in a complete state of awe at these "pigs" that we think are just there for meat.
I cannot express how loving, intelligent and sensitive these beings are.
I feel that is such a lack of expression.
Everyone says, "Yeah, I hear pigs are really smart". Well, yes they are, but more than that, they are like YOU AND ME.
If you sit and study these beings they are like us on every level.
So now my "little girl" has had 5 beautiful piglets. The runt left at one week.
I still have four.
My mother instincts have kicked in big time and I am more than happy to accommodate and do what is needed.
I want to make you aware of the cruelty with gestation crates.
There is a growing national and international recognition of the inherent cruelty of confining breeding pigs in gestation crates. Metal stalls so small the animals are unable to lie down, turn around or even walk for their entire lives!!! In such intensive confinement without mental or physical stimulation, these sensitive ,social, and intelligent animals suffer extreme physical and physycological distress. As a result this needlessly inhumane factory farming practice has been banned throughout the entire European union, New Zealand and the State of Florida, Arizona, Oregon, Washington, California, Maine, Michigan, Colorado, and Ohio.
Grocery store "giants" like Costco, Kroger and Safeway condone confining pigs in crates barely larger than their bodies by continuing to purchase and sell pork from factory farms that confine pigs in gestation crates, including Iowa select farms.
Please help me in the smallest of ways, to help these sweet babies to live a normal life where they can graze, and live a life like" Fido" your dog, that you would do anything for.
Please urge your grocery store that you frequent, to phase out the use of gestation crates, something Whole Foods, Chipotle, and other major food providers have already done.
You don't have to have a piglet to have compassion.
Please, at least in your spare time will you investigate what I am trying to relay. I'm not telling you to do one thing or the other, just to consider and contemplate.
Also please join me in MFA. Mercy for Animals. Help me to SPEAK OUT FOR PIGS.
Thank you from the bottom of my heart!
Gabriela, Idgy and the 4 babies that give us hope and love. xxxooo
Wednesday, July 10, 2013
AS LONG AS THERE IS LOVE......
Growing up I kinda hung in there like a trooper because a lot was always going on.
My mom raised 5 kids by herself.
To this day I just cannot phathom how she did it, and then times like now, although I do not have "people children", I have animals children, I get it!!! I SO GET IT!
When you take on certain responsibilities you then own them. They are yours, unless you decide you just want to ditch out because you just can't handle it, or you don't have the money or the means, or whatever would make you decide that it's just not worth it.
My mom went to the edge of edges to care for us kids, to cloth us, to feed us, to make sure we were happy. We may not have had the newest, latest and greatest things, but I tell you now, in retrospect, we had SO MUCH!
I think about how I would cringe with hand me down clothes, and shoes. HELL, I HAD CLOTHES AND SHOES! Many kids didn't even have that.
What I will say to the day I die is, " There is one thing I was never short of, and that is LOVE!"
My mother worked 3 jobs, cooked for us, we had fun take out foods, we had fun little surprises as gifts, silly but fun things, we had beautiful homemade Italian meals that you would pay top dollar for in restaurants these days. We had her singing to us, laying with us in bed and talking like friends, I had her showing up at my softball games, sitting in the bleachers cheering me on, being the mom who volunteered at the concession stand handing out hot dogs and soft pretzels.
I had someone that went to great lengths to try to make sure I was happy, fed well, and loved on.
These three things are what I live my life by.
Although I do not have "people children", I have my farm animals and my dogs that I feel that same amount of devotion to.
Whether it be a child or an animal, they all look for routine, love, and of course food.
In my heritage, food equals LOVE, so I have preened my animals to the same.
It's a ritual, like waking up and having coffee, or winding down and having wine.
As long as there is a genuine love, there is a response that takes away all expression, all words, because it is THAT priceless.
That is what my days are like.
I may not be rich, or have this or that, but my home is beautiful, I am warm, safe, have wonderful food, have transportation, and luxuries beyond belief.
I feel utterly grateful for my life, for my animals that are a pain in the ass sometimes, but what isn't? I would not give them up for anything, they truly give me life!
They help me deal with life's crap. To be able to stay neutral and centered in some crazy times.
A lot of people wish for money, and yes, I agree. Money makes things easier, but when I was making a ton of money the grass was not really greener. It really wasn't!!
I believe there is a balance but the key for me is........... AS LONG AS THERE IS LOVE, I can deal with anything that comes my way, and if somehow I can't, I have friends who share that LOVE that I am talking about, to remind me of what is real, and what is not.
I thank my beautiful mother for bestowing the most real love to me. Not just a mothers love, but a simple love that spreads to each and every one of us.
That beautiful woman touched so many souls in this life. I was not surprised at her funeral how many people showed up, like a full on concert.
You could see it in their eyes, and then to boot, the words, the expressions, of how they were affected not by my Mother, but by LOVE, itself.
This is what I have learned, and adopted, and have integrated into my life.
AS LONG AS THERE IS LOVE.......... everything will be OK.
I feel utterly grateful for love in general. For without it, I would be a zombie, some dead soul out there continuously searching for something or another. ~
Friday, July 5, 2013
DEVOTION
This word seems to denote an idea to a lot of people.
Some it would be a spiritual devotion. Some devotion is just being devoted to someone, or something.
To me devotion is all encompassing.
If you are devoted to someone or something, you are DEVOTED. No matter what it is.
Since I was a child I found myself always devoted to one thing or another, and I stuck with it, no matter what it was. A person, an art, a sport, a belief, or my "idea" of what I thought life was, and I executed that devotion in a myriad of ways. Personally, and outwardly.
Outwardly it seemed awkward as a kid. Kids and young adults are "supposed" to do this, that, and the other thing, and I was always devoted to my inner thoughts, ideas, and what I knew inside to be my own personal truth.
Back then it was extremely difficult, just because a lot of my ideas were not the "norm". At least not in New Jersey, or just at that point and time, with the mind set of where young people were.
I remember feeling so out of place at parties that my boyfriend would have at his house, or when friends would get together in our apartment complex and do their "fun" things, it would just keep me perplexed, and leave me feeling so alone and different.
Don't get me wrong, I did all kinds of stuff then, had a blast and laughed my ass off. But all in all, I knew at an early age that there was something for me that was very different. Something outside of what was happening.
I had my own room growing up for awhile. My mom let me do whatever the heck I wanted in that room.
I look back and think WOW! It's like me now.
My room was just so. Even my stuffed animals were placed on my bed in such a way that it was like art. My dresser was really no different than mine now. An altar of everything and everyone that I love, from people, to pine cones, to stones, to leaves from the trees, to cool wood that I would find on my treks in the woods.
DEVOTION.
It is what your heart gravitates toward and stands by without a shadow of a doubt.
It is what gives you hope, and life inside.
My spirituality has always been my devotion.
I don't put that in a "religious" box.
My spirituality equals nature, my animals, my loved ones, and that sacred spot inside of me that no one can ever touch. It is the only thing that cannot be taken away from me, which keeps me in line when life presents me with situations that either take things from me or that I have created a situation where those things have been taken away. It is a loss to some degree, but not really.
When all is said and done, I would be happy with my own thoughts, my glorious experience here, and the ultimate gratitude that I was given the chance to be here, on this earth, experiencing so much, from hardship to glory.
It is a wild ride, and I would not trade it for the world.
Today I "chatted" through FB with my very first lover. It's been 30 years.
It changed my day.
The memories, the hardships, the experience of a 17 year old dealing with a stack of things and taking on a family of four that I have never forgotten to this day.
Recently they have gotten in touch with me through FB.
The kids, that I felt were my kids at the time, are all grown, have children, beautiful homes and lives.
I was a mere child myself.
Life is a total adventure, like a ride in a boat, floating down an unknown river.
You never know what to expect or how to act in the moment.
Tears flow from these eyes to feel the time, the experience and the constant letting go of the past.
I've learned so much and although things have been tough, I embrace everything and I wouldn't change a thing.
I never thought I would say that but it really is true1
I feel as if my soul has expanded to a degree that I would never in a million years imagine.
Maybe this is what it is like to grow older and more wise, I don't know.
What I am devoted to is my practice.
My practice is to love unconditionally.
To forgive, no matter the circumstance.
To stay silent, more than not, to hear that subtle "voice" inside that guides me and lets me know the next turn.
To meditate deeply on my purpose here and to execute that in the best way possible.
To help, to serve my fellow friends, strangers, and of course animals of all kind.
It seems like a lot but really, when the silence kicks in, it's like riding a bike.
Once you get on, the ride is so easy and you enjoy the heck out of it.
There is not a care in the world then, right? Are you with me?
Paint your own scenario.
DEVOTION.
I am devoted to LOVE in this life, and that shows up in a million ways.
For me, devotion takes a lot of quiet time and paving ways that don't always seem "right".
I just keep trekking on, in my own way, and if it feels good to me, in my heart, I know I'm good.
I am extremely grateful for all of the love and DEVOTION that comes to me in the way of friends and lovers who think that their "small" acts of kindness, to me, and for me, are nothing.
This, to me, is DEVOTION, and love in the way that I understand the most.
I appreciate you all and love you all from the bottom of my heart.
I hope to be all of that and more for you.
Now and always~
Gabriela ( Joni, to some ;) )
Some it would be a spiritual devotion. Some devotion is just being devoted to someone, or something.
To me devotion is all encompassing.
If you are devoted to someone or something, you are DEVOTED. No matter what it is.
Since I was a child I found myself always devoted to one thing or another, and I stuck with it, no matter what it was. A person, an art, a sport, a belief, or my "idea" of what I thought life was, and I executed that devotion in a myriad of ways. Personally, and outwardly.
Outwardly it seemed awkward as a kid. Kids and young adults are "supposed" to do this, that, and the other thing, and I was always devoted to my inner thoughts, ideas, and what I knew inside to be my own personal truth.
Back then it was extremely difficult, just because a lot of my ideas were not the "norm". At least not in New Jersey, or just at that point and time, with the mind set of where young people were.
I remember feeling so out of place at parties that my boyfriend would have at his house, or when friends would get together in our apartment complex and do their "fun" things, it would just keep me perplexed, and leave me feeling so alone and different.
Don't get me wrong, I did all kinds of stuff then, had a blast and laughed my ass off. But all in all, I knew at an early age that there was something for me that was very different. Something outside of what was happening.
I had my own room growing up for awhile. My mom let me do whatever the heck I wanted in that room.
I look back and think WOW! It's like me now.
My room was just so. Even my stuffed animals were placed on my bed in such a way that it was like art. My dresser was really no different than mine now. An altar of everything and everyone that I love, from people, to pine cones, to stones, to leaves from the trees, to cool wood that I would find on my treks in the woods.
DEVOTION.
It is what your heart gravitates toward and stands by without a shadow of a doubt.
It is what gives you hope, and life inside.
My spirituality has always been my devotion.
I don't put that in a "religious" box.
My spirituality equals nature, my animals, my loved ones, and that sacred spot inside of me that no one can ever touch. It is the only thing that cannot be taken away from me, which keeps me in line when life presents me with situations that either take things from me or that I have created a situation where those things have been taken away. It is a loss to some degree, but not really.
When all is said and done, I would be happy with my own thoughts, my glorious experience here, and the ultimate gratitude that I was given the chance to be here, on this earth, experiencing so much, from hardship to glory.
It is a wild ride, and I would not trade it for the world.
Today I "chatted" through FB with my very first lover. It's been 30 years.
It changed my day.
The memories, the hardships, the experience of a 17 year old dealing with a stack of things and taking on a family of four that I have never forgotten to this day.
Recently they have gotten in touch with me through FB.
The kids, that I felt were my kids at the time, are all grown, have children, beautiful homes and lives.
I was a mere child myself.
Life is a total adventure, like a ride in a boat, floating down an unknown river.
You never know what to expect or how to act in the moment.
Tears flow from these eyes to feel the time, the experience and the constant letting go of the past.
I've learned so much and although things have been tough, I embrace everything and I wouldn't change a thing.
I never thought I would say that but it really is true1
I feel as if my soul has expanded to a degree that I would never in a million years imagine.
Maybe this is what it is like to grow older and more wise, I don't know.
What I am devoted to is my practice.
My practice is to love unconditionally.
To forgive, no matter the circumstance.
To stay silent, more than not, to hear that subtle "voice" inside that guides me and lets me know the next turn.
To meditate deeply on my purpose here and to execute that in the best way possible.
To help, to serve my fellow friends, strangers, and of course animals of all kind.
It seems like a lot but really, when the silence kicks in, it's like riding a bike.
Once you get on, the ride is so easy and you enjoy the heck out of it.
There is not a care in the world then, right? Are you with me?
Paint your own scenario.
DEVOTION.
I am devoted to LOVE in this life, and that shows up in a million ways.
For me, devotion takes a lot of quiet time and paving ways that don't always seem "right".
I just keep trekking on, in my own way, and if it feels good to me, in my heart, I know I'm good.
I am extremely grateful for all of the love and DEVOTION that comes to me in the way of friends and lovers who think that their "small" acts of kindness, to me, and for me, are nothing.
This, to me, is DEVOTION, and love in the way that I understand the most.
I appreciate you all and love you all from the bottom of my heart.
I hope to be all of that and more for you.
Now and always~
Gabriela ( Joni, to some ;) )
Thursday, July 4, 2013
I REALIZE THE LUXURY OF MY FREEDOM
When I was a child, the Fourth of July was always a huge event. Major food, cooking out on the grill, lots of people, fire works, people drinking and hootin' and hollerin'. To me, I laugh now, because it's like being Italian, ANY EXCUSE to hoot and holler, EAT GREAT FOOD, and gather!
Today I woke up feeling so grateful. I layed in bed grateful that I have the choice to wake up or not. To lay in bed or not. To get up and greet the day or not. It's that kind of FREEDOM. Those things that could so easily be taken for granted.
I layed in bed and stared at the ceiling fan. I looked out of my window. Felt my surroundings and felt, again, grateful that I have the FREEDOM to make choices.
My life, like every one elses has it's ups and downs, but comparatively speaking, my life is a "pitiful luxury".
I say pitiful because I can get caught up in my daily life and what that equals, but I am certainly not closed off to others lives, what they are going through, and bigger, the world at large. Catastrophe's, third world issues. Issues in our back yard, the next state......the list goes on.
I may not keep tabs on all that is happening everyday, and that is a personal choice. When it comes to these things people get pretty opinionated. Touche'. Such is my reasoning for my distance from the media.
I'm not looking to live under a rock, or not stay apprised of what is happening in the world but it becomes personal and specific and I could care less, really, if someone agrees with my way or not.
I'm becoming more and more LESS tolerant of opinions.
It's just a THOUGHT.
Whether it be yours or mine. Now go on about your day, and so will I.
Today was spent quiet, like I love.
Time to contemplate, digest, and get to neutral ground.
I feel an overwhelming sense of gratitude for my freedom of:
Speech
Expression
love
ability to go to and from
walk down the road comfortably
work
make money
pay bills
live comfortably
have food
shelter
people who love and care about my welfare
the right to get married to whoever I feel like marrying
the ability to care and love for animals who are in need and whom are not
to care for the elderly who I gravitate towards like honey to the bee
to vote
for this blog........... this crazy blog that I started because I've been a writer since the day I was born, I think.
For me to be able to express is the BIGGEST FREEDOM EVER.
It's the one thing that taken from me would be the death of me.
I don't look for accolades, by any means.
To know I am able to write these lines, soothes my soul, to a degree that will satiate me for years to come.
Nothing has to come of it, but to know that I could have the FREEDOM to express this little soul, in this short span of a life, makes it all worth while.
I shoot from the hip when I write, so I am sure my mind will say I failed in my expression of how today felt for me.
It doesn't matter.
Everyday feels short of my love and how that will be expressed in this vast and complex world.
I am utterly grateful for my life, for all of you, and for my amazing experiences that this life has allowed me.
Thank you, thank you, thank you!
Happy FREEDOM day!
~
Thursday, June 27, 2013
WELCOME TO YOUR LIFE.. THERE'S NO TURNING BACK!
I'm not really the person that "regrets" things from the past because given the good, bad and the ugly, I have learned incredible lessons and have transformed myself in ways that I would have never imagined. Not by trying, by any means, but by trial and error. Messing up, making "wrong" decisions", and I put that in quotes because I am human. I learn from my past but I never really think in terms of making "bad, or wrong decisions". It's my call in moments, and I am a human learning the tricks and the trade of this world. No one is perfect. This I know, and too, I am not looking to be some perfect person. In fact, to me, "the game is not about becoming "somebody", it's about becoming"nobody".
I have been tremendously humbled by my own life, what transpires, and how everyday, I feel like I am looking through a microscope at a life, as if it is not my own, and feeling propelled and perplexed at the same time.
I walk as if there was a strobe light hanging over top of me.
I want to be so awake and aware, and still, still.......... am captivated by the mystery of it all.
The reasons behind everything.
There is not one moment in my day that I don't question why I am calling certain things in, or not calling certain things in. I'm not OCD in the least. I have always questioned my existence and the happenings in my world. I know I will never understand it all psychologically, but what comforts me is the unknown and how it speaks to me and calms me. THIS, I cannot articulate to you. It is just a knowing, and it is what keeps me sane, and real in a world that makes no sense to me for a myriad of reasons.
A friend emailed me from Tuscany today. What she described as her experience there, and too, knowing what we love and are drawn to, completely shook me.
I'm not even sure I can describe in words what this all means, but when I read what she wrote, I cried.
I truly have lived a BIG life. Adventurous, risky, open, edgy, willing and humbled.
I crave nothing but simplicity.
My life isn't always simple, but on my trek I try to accomplish my desires. Let it be having a farm with beautiful animals, or simply doing what I am doing now, writing, with crickets in the back round, the moon shining through the window, and classical music playing. That's pretty simple and beautiful to me.
My friend described her time in Tuscany as if was my perfect love making.
I cannot describe in words. If she would allow me to quote her, I would in a split second but she is shy with her expressions and dare me to quote that sacredness.
I know for me that in my life now, it is chiseled down to the very basics and it makes me smile and I feel so whole inside.
I have my stuff just like everyone, but my meditation, my animals and my devotion to love supersede anything. It's what keeps things in line, real, and palpable. My friends and lovers know my heart and know that these things are why they love this little soul called "Gabriela".
There's no turning back.
It's been quite the ride here.
Of course, it's not over but I don't know that for sure.
My time could be up tomorrow. I really don't know.
I am present with my breath, with people, with my animals, and nature.............NATURE, what you have given this soul will never be able to described with words.
I thank meditation for allowing me not to have to describe every last thing that I experience, and that is BIG for this little person who needs to express herself in all ways.
I am so damned humbled by life, my circumstances and the love that shows up in my world.
Thank you to all of the people in my world who make it special and worth waking up to greet my day with all that it offers. I love you so much and am so grateful for you in my world! ~
Tuesday, June 25, 2013
I AM ALWAYS LEARNING.............
Life is happening at a fast pace. I have to tell you, I do not like it. But can I fight reality? Can I go against the current? NO! For me, I really can't. Bills are there, situations occur and you need to tend to...... stuff shows up and you really want to just say..........." OK, what gives", but you just move forward and do the best you can with what is handed to you and also, know that you are the captain of your own ship, so that takes a ton of thought about how you create your reality without feeling like the victim. I know I am not a victim of circumstance, but to be honest, sometimes it truly feels like WTF!
I am in constant mode of seeking the deeper purpose. The why's and how's, but sometimes I need a break from the psychological.
My life is in constant flux.
I have lived my life, for the most part, prepared for instant change. That is good, and also it can be unnerving. Either which way, I have to stay prepared so that nothing is a shock.
I meditate deeply and question this existence to the enth degree. I have since I was a child.
I know that my life isn't about toiling in chores. Even if it was or is, I have amazing tools to put to use,to be able to make those "chores" into something higher, to be of some good use for this soul.
I can take the bad and make it beautiful, make it useful.
I want to learn from each instance of my life.
Current. Change is happening and the mystery of life is revealing itself.
I feel open and grateful!
This is so risky but yet comforting.
As long as I am true to myself, honest and willing........... I feel great.
I honor selflessness.~
Sunday, June 16, 2013
GOING WITH THE TIDE
Life seems to be one continuous stream of events. I'm finding if I am not fluid in and amongst it all, I become the "fighter against life" trying to ward off "what is", avoiding change, and also some things that are beyond our control. It is a life lesson in so many ways. I try to learn from the past, and move forward with new ideas, passing up old ideas, or learned habits from early childhood. It's no easy thing. I mean I'm headed towards 50 and I STILL have those remnants of the past that try to trip me up. Who's to say what the time frame is for finally "getting it?" We all have our own journey and everyone's list of things to conquer are different. There is no right way, wrong way, or should or shouldn'ts. It is your life, your lessons, and up to you to find your way. It's not for anyone to judge or comment on.
I'm finding that I completely enjoy listening to people, their stories and what their triumphs are and too, their hardships. It deepens my sense of compassion and allows me to soften inside, more and more to the fragile life that is before us. I love sitting with my friends and listening to how they work with each other, how we all support each other in the ways that we can. I have beautiful, deep conversations everyday with a friend and we love how we constantly question this existence, question all of the why's and how's and dig so deep in that it opens up new doorways, new ideas, out of the box ways to make it all good when things may not seem so good. Many people are out of work, dealing with breast cancer, death, injuries, financials, you name it.......... and I just love seeing how people make it good for them. They laugh, they cry, they move through it with love and strength from friends and family, they meditate, they dig for the higher purpose and make that their focus. The results of that show. When it's dark, there still remains that light, that spark of knowing that all will be well, and even if it's not, for one reason or the other, it will be dealt with from a consciousness that only reveals a love that will heal all things.
Today I celebrate the fact that I have been shown how to love and receive love. How to give and receive. I celebrate my friends who get me, my love and passion for nature and animals, and the ability to connect to what makes it all real and tolerable, inside. Without all of these elements it would not be worth a dime. I am utterly grateful for my life.
Today is good. It's the great outdoors, it's my animals, the amazing birds that keep me wondering and in awe, and a great book that I can't seem to put down. Aside from all of that, I made shrimp taco's and it pretty much put a cap on this gorgeous day.
Writing it all down ..........another part of the onion peeled. ~
Saturday, November 3, 2012
Another Blatant Reminder
Hi guys!
My life has been so crazy that I have had no time to update my blog. It truly is not about what is happening in MY world that I need to relay but to be able use this vehicle to express and to relate all of life's happenings so that maybe we can understand and relate to one another without feeling so alone.
We are all trying to make it. Make money, make "something" of ourselves, feel secure, make our relationships work, whether it be family, lover, friends, feel like we are accomplishing something in this world that feels meaningful, learn from our mistakes..........man, the list really does go on, and I actually wouldn't mind spelling that out. Not tonight, but I will. For clarity sake, you know? That's why I believe in writing so much. You can talk as much as you want, but when you sit with yourself, just YOU, alone, with pen to paper, I have to tell you, that from my entire life of experiences, that ONE THING, will transform you inside and out and will get you to know yourself in the biggest of ways.
I have the simple belief that if you can adhere to some sort of mind set ( whichever works for you), everyday, that allows you to stay humble and grateful, then it won't take any kind of catastrophe to keep you in check. Not a hurricane, not an accident or a death or any kind of happening that will jolt you so much into remembering who you are, where you are, where you came from and what that all means.
Seriously. I think everyday we all have our work to stay THAT current, THAT aware, and THAT present with the people in our lives. I have to tell you that this is my daily homework, my LIFE!
For the most part I want to just be alone, do my part and hope that with all of my "good deeds" I will be happy and that nothing will go wrong. The reality is, LIFE HAPPENS, and we never know what will be coming our way. We never know what is going to happen.
I learned this when my mother suddenly passed.
HUGE AWAKENING!!! And to be honest, I haven't digested that happening in it's entirety and it has been 5 years now.
I say that and it blows me away. I consider myself an extremely conscientious human being, but that event, that happening, took me to another place and time and it has taken me this long and more to process the life of a family, a mother and daughter relationship, unconditional love, family ties, genuine AND co-dependant. The list does NOT stop here, trust me!
I think I have lived my life very full and very aware of the people in my life and loving them as much as possible in the way that I know how thus far.
Tonight, and this past week my hometown has been destroyed my Hurricane Sandy.
It has jolted me to yet another realm of consciousness, so much so that I am overwhelmed, ( in a great way), to be able to delve into another state of being. It "ups the Annie" on the level of awareness that is happening for me, or NOT happening for me, and I am left with myself, and where I am at in my life, and I get to see just where I need to step up to the plate, or plainly acknowledge how I am doing my own personal homework around all of these topics that I talk about, IE: relationships, no matter what they are, staying true and present to oneself, being honest with what all of that means and doing my homework.
I barely watch TV for my own reasons, but even my little rabbit ears that give me the daily data on what is happening isn't even working, so a few weeks ago a friend updated me on the hurricane in my own hometown. That plummeted into a wide range of emotions from where I grew up, where I hung out, to family outings, to everything that we did as kids on the Jersey Shore, to spending every weekend at Seaside Heights, the board walk, the games, the clams, the beer, the pasta, the YOU NAME IT........... IT WAS THE JERSEY SHORE AND THAT WAS OUR GIG! IT WAS OUR SPECIAL EAST COAST LIFE AND I LOVED IT IMMENSELY!
The disaster that is happening is mind blowing on so many levels. My family is still back east and everyone is okay. THANK GOD!
Like I said, time and time again there is always the opportunity to get that much closer to what is really real, time for healing and also time to actually STOP, and to reflect on our lives instead of being that rat on the wheel that is always trying to go, go, go, make a success outta life, make money, save for retirement, this, that and the other thing.
STOP!! STOP THE MADNESS, is how I feel.
This is only the beginning. Global Warming is happening. For decades there have been "premonitions" and people smirked because "who is Edgar Cayce" anyway, and who are all of the "prophets" that supposedly know the "future". C'mon people, get a grip. There is life outside of the black and white lines.
There are amazing people walking the face of the earth that don't have degrees, they are not educated in the way that you think education is, and these people, I think, need more of a place on this earth then the educated. Please know this is NOT a comparison, just an observation.
They live intuitively, they live by a vibe. I hate to sound so Austinite, or so psychic, but the reality is, there are prophets out there, incredible individuals who are tuned into what the real deal is, outside of ideas. THIS IS WHAT I LOVE! THIS IS WHAT I AM DRAWN TO.
When I was twelve it was predicted by a prophet what is happening NOW.
As I studied on through the years, the same predictions were happening, but no one wanted to look or gave looks of complete denial because there is no "back up" nothing "solid" to go by.
SOLID SHMOLID!!! WAKE UP PEOPLE. WAKE UP TO YOUR OWN SENSES! QUIT RELYING ON OUTSIDE SOURCES TO VALIDATE YOU OR TO PAVE THE WAY FOR YOUR SO CALLED FUTURE!
Start taking responsibility for your own thoughts, your own actions and forget about the higher Archy. We are ALL THE SAME HERE. HOW ABOUT MAKING UP OUR OWN MINDS???
Obama was one of "Us" at one time. He's just proactive. No different than you or me, just passionate and motivating. No fear of his opinions. Take the label of President away. Can you?
Speak your peace.
There is no right or wrong. People might fight your views but who doesn't??
Stay true to yourself.
Who cares if you speak out??
Life is fleeting.
I know for me that everyday there are constant reminders to keep forging forward with my own beliefs, and also to stay open to new information. I certainly do not profess to know anything or have the answers. I'm just me with my opinions like everyone else.
I say let everything in your life be a blatant reminder for change, for growth, and for compassion. Compassion for all of us, for where we are, for what we have learned or not yet learned, and to be okay with our process.
We are all a work in progress and no one, no one has a perfect slate.
Knowing that I hope that all of our relationships flourish with an understanding, a growth and a greater compassion for where we all are, here, in this life together, dealing with all of the same things, but with different views.
I hold my hand out, to better understand, to learn what I don't know and to hopefully share some things that may have worked for me along the way. No way is the right way. We learn as we go.
I am grateful to be able to express myself freely if anything. IF you have taken the time to listen I thank you and am completely grateful.
~
My life has been so crazy that I have had no time to update my blog. It truly is not about what is happening in MY world that I need to relay but to be able use this vehicle to express and to relate all of life's happenings so that maybe we can understand and relate to one another without feeling so alone.
We are all trying to make it. Make money, make "something" of ourselves, feel secure, make our relationships work, whether it be family, lover, friends, feel like we are accomplishing something in this world that feels meaningful, learn from our mistakes..........man, the list really does go on, and I actually wouldn't mind spelling that out. Not tonight, but I will. For clarity sake, you know? That's why I believe in writing so much. You can talk as much as you want, but when you sit with yourself, just YOU, alone, with pen to paper, I have to tell you, that from my entire life of experiences, that ONE THING, will transform you inside and out and will get you to know yourself in the biggest of ways.
I have the simple belief that if you can adhere to some sort of mind set ( whichever works for you), everyday, that allows you to stay humble and grateful, then it won't take any kind of catastrophe to keep you in check. Not a hurricane, not an accident or a death or any kind of happening that will jolt you so much into remembering who you are, where you are, where you came from and what that all means.
Seriously. I think everyday we all have our work to stay THAT current, THAT aware, and THAT present with the people in our lives. I have to tell you that this is my daily homework, my LIFE!
For the most part I want to just be alone, do my part and hope that with all of my "good deeds" I will be happy and that nothing will go wrong. The reality is, LIFE HAPPENS, and we never know what will be coming our way. We never know what is going to happen.
I learned this when my mother suddenly passed.
HUGE AWAKENING!!! And to be honest, I haven't digested that happening in it's entirety and it has been 5 years now.
I say that and it blows me away. I consider myself an extremely conscientious human being, but that event, that happening, took me to another place and time and it has taken me this long and more to process the life of a family, a mother and daughter relationship, unconditional love, family ties, genuine AND co-dependant. The list does NOT stop here, trust me!
I think I have lived my life very full and very aware of the people in my life and loving them as much as possible in the way that I know how thus far.
Tonight, and this past week my hometown has been destroyed my Hurricane Sandy.
It has jolted me to yet another realm of consciousness, so much so that I am overwhelmed, ( in a great way), to be able to delve into another state of being. It "ups the Annie" on the level of awareness that is happening for me, or NOT happening for me, and I am left with myself, and where I am at in my life, and I get to see just where I need to step up to the plate, or plainly acknowledge how I am doing my own personal homework around all of these topics that I talk about, IE: relationships, no matter what they are, staying true and present to oneself, being honest with what all of that means and doing my homework.
I barely watch TV for my own reasons, but even my little rabbit ears that give me the daily data on what is happening isn't even working, so a few weeks ago a friend updated me on the hurricane in my own hometown. That plummeted into a wide range of emotions from where I grew up, where I hung out, to family outings, to everything that we did as kids on the Jersey Shore, to spending every weekend at Seaside Heights, the board walk, the games, the clams, the beer, the pasta, the YOU NAME IT........... IT WAS THE JERSEY SHORE AND THAT WAS OUR GIG! IT WAS OUR SPECIAL EAST COAST LIFE AND I LOVED IT IMMENSELY!
The disaster that is happening is mind blowing on so many levels. My family is still back east and everyone is okay. THANK GOD!
Like I said, time and time again there is always the opportunity to get that much closer to what is really real, time for healing and also time to actually STOP, and to reflect on our lives instead of being that rat on the wheel that is always trying to go, go, go, make a success outta life, make money, save for retirement, this, that and the other thing.
STOP!! STOP THE MADNESS, is how I feel.
This is only the beginning. Global Warming is happening. For decades there have been "premonitions" and people smirked because "who is Edgar Cayce" anyway, and who are all of the "prophets" that supposedly know the "future". C'mon people, get a grip. There is life outside of the black and white lines.
There are amazing people walking the face of the earth that don't have degrees, they are not educated in the way that you think education is, and these people, I think, need more of a place on this earth then the educated. Please know this is NOT a comparison, just an observation.
They live intuitively, they live by a vibe. I hate to sound so Austinite, or so psychic, but the reality is, there are prophets out there, incredible individuals who are tuned into what the real deal is, outside of ideas. THIS IS WHAT I LOVE! THIS IS WHAT I AM DRAWN TO.
When I was twelve it was predicted by a prophet what is happening NOW.
As I studied on through the years, the same predictions were happening, but no one wanted to look or gave looks of complete denial because there is no "back up" nothing "solid" to go by.
SOLID SHMOLID!!! WAKE UP PEOPLE. WAKE UP TO YOUR OWN SENSES! QUIT RELYING ON OUTSIDE SOURCES TO VALIDATE YOU OR TO PAVE THE WAY FOR YOUR SO CALLED FUTURE!
Start taking responsibility for your own thoughts, your own actions and forget about the higher Archy. We are ALL THE SAME HERE. HOW ABOUT MAKING UP OUR OWN MINDS???
Obama was one of "Us" at one time. He's just proactive. No different than you or me, just passionate and motivating. No fear of his opinions. Take the label of President away. Can you?
Speak your peace.
There is no right or wrong. People might fight your views but who doesn't??
Stay true to yourself.
Who cares if you speak out??
Life is fleeting.
I know for me that everyday there are constant reminders to keep forging forward with my own beliefs, and also to stay open to new information. I certainly do not profess to know anything or have the answers. I'm just me with my opinions like everyone else.
I say let everything in your life be a blatant reminder for change, for growth, and for compassion. Compassion for all of us, for where we are, for what we have learned or not yet learned, and to be okay with our process.
We are all a work in progress and no one, no one has a perfect slate.
Knowing that I hope that all of our relationships flourish with an understanding, a growth and a greater compassion for where we all are, here, in this life together, dealing with all of the same things, but with different views.
I hold my hand out, to better understand, to learn what I don't know and to hopefully share some things that may have worked for me along the way. No way is the right way. We learn as we go.
I am grateful to be able to express myself freely if anything. IF you have taken the time to listen I thank you and am completely grateful.
~
Wednesday, August 8, 2012
TO EMPTY ONESELF....
..... is to just LET GO! Whatever that means to you. It is different for everyone. I have a friend who says, "Gabriela, my meditation is sitting by my pool, watching the water, and the dim lights in my jacuzzi and how the lights reflect on my plants in the yard". I say, "Right on!!". Whatever it takes for me, for you.
What I love about living a life true to yourself is that this life is YOURS. It is not about living according to Jesus, or Buddha, or any other deity. It is about living your authentic life and what rings true in your heart.
What is good for the goose, doesn't necessarily mean it is good for the gander.
The way I live my life is for me, and it works for me, and along the way, it is up to me to tweak it, to mold it as close to my heart as possible. And I know that along the way I am going to screw things up, as I have, but I also know that I am devoted to living an authentic life. To get rid of the things that don't work for me, and to replace them with the things that do. I discover so much about myself along the way, and it is such an amazing trek for me. I learn so much about me, my friendships, how I can be more to someone, and seek less of myself. It is so easy to be worried about the little things in my nucleus and what is happening, but the thing is, there is a whole life out there with family and friends who are going through very difficult times, just like me, or, worse.
I've learned some very crucial lessons withing the weeks past.
What I love about conscious awareness is that there will always be room to grow, to learn, and to do things differently. And mostly, how to keep chiseling down who we think we are, to how we can just BE. I know in that awareness that I can be of some service to someone. I can still take care of myself and tend to my needs, but there is a grand opening to being available to others without question.
I know I always have my homework cut out for me in the sense that people are in need. I also know that there is a ton of homework in creating healthy boundaries that allows all involved to take responsibility for themselves and to allow the holding of the hands to be there together in helping one another on this journey.
No one said this crazy life would be easy. As a matter of fact, no one ever really said anything about how it would go really. You just fly out of the "shoot" and there it is......... let the games begin. You take on the parental guidance, and there you are, like a parrot. You automatically become a replica of a person or persons. It's not like you get to decide from the get go how you would like things to roll.
It's not until the unraveling begins and you find you, as a person, with very specific thoughts, that the real life begins. Life outside of rules and regulations. Therein lies your individual self. The one that will take on a life of it's own, and form it to the being that is meant to rise up in this world as.......... whoever you are........whatever you want........ that's what I like about this life. We do have luxuries. And the luxury I am talking about is being "allowed" to be your own individual self. You may have an argument or two, but for the most part, we're pretty lucky. I know I am!
I've chosen a pretty tough life in many ways, but honestly, I would never, in a million years, trade it for the world. Not to make anyone happy or satisfied, but to know that I have chosen what makes me happy, and to be able to stand tall in that, and feel honored.
In emptying myself I know that it is a continuous coming home to myself, and that changes daily.
I check in with myself all day long and have to get quiet to be clear on what all of that means to me.
I LOVE THIS PROCESS. It keeps my mind astute.
Some people may observe and say this or that about my little life. As simple as it is, there is always, always the inquisitive mind that ponders life, it's mysteries and how I fit in with it all.
This is no walk down to feed the ducks....... although this is a side road, believe it or not.
There are a million ways to empty ourselves to become less of who we think we need to be, and also a million ways to become more available for others. To forget about this that and the other thing, and to actually be present with life that is happening on so many different levels.
I know I have my homework cut out for me and I am extremely grateful for any and all situations that allow me to come closer to this realization.
I am so grateful for the tiniest of opportunities to shed the layers that don't belong, to get me closest to my raw, raw soul, that continuously is thirsty to become whole, whole, whole!
Thank you for all of you who help me along this exquisite journey called my life.
I am forever humbled ~
What I love about living a life true to yourself is that this life is YOURS. It is not about living according to Jesus, or Buddha, or any other deity. It is about living your authentic life and what rings true in your heart.
What is good for the goose, doesn't necessarily mean it is good for the gander.
The way I live my life is for me, and it works for me, and along the way, it is up to me to tweak it, to mold it as close to my heart as possible. And I know that along the way I am going to screw things up, as I have, but I also know that I am devoted to living an authentic life. To get rid of the things that don't work for me, and to replace them with the things that do. I discover so much about myself along the way, and it is such an amazing trek for me. I learn so much about me, my friendships, how I can be more to someone, and seek less of myself. It is so easy to be worried about the little things in my nucleus and what is happening, but the thing is, there is a whole life out there with family and friends who are going through very difficult times, just like me, or, worse.
I've learned some very crucial lessons withing the weeks past.
What I love about conscious awareness is that there will always be room to grow, to learn, and to do things differently. And mostly, how to keep chiseling down who we think we are, to how we can just BE. I know in that awareness that I can be of some service to someone. I can still take care of myself and tend to my needs, but there is a grand opening to being available to others without question.
I know I always have my homework cut out for me in the sense that people are in need. I also know that there is a ton of homework in creating healthy boundaries that allows all involved to take responsibility for themselves and to allow the holding of the hands to be there together in helping one another on this journey.
No one said this crazy life would be easy. As a matter of fact, no one ever really said anything about how it would go really. You just fly out of the "shoot" and there it is......... let the games begin. You take on the parental guidance, and there you are, like a parrot. You automatically become a replica of a person or persons. It's not like you get to decide from the get go how you would like things to roll.
It's not until the unraveling begins and you find you, as a person, with very specific thoughts, that the real life begins. Life outside of rules and regulations. Therein lies your individual self. The one that will take on a life of it's own, and form it to the being that is meant to rise up in this world as.......... whoever you are........whatever you want........ that's what I like about this life. We do have luxuries. And the luxury I am talking about is being "allowed" to be your own individual self. You may have an argument or two, but for the most part, we're pretty lucky. I know I am!
I've chosen a pretty tough life in many ways, but honestly, I would never, in a million years, trade it for the world. Not to make anyone happy or satisfied, but to know that I have chosen what makes me happy, and to be able to stand tall in that, and feel honored.
In emptying myself I know that it is a continuous coming home to myself, and that changes daily.
I check in with myself all day long and have to get quiet to be clear on what all of that means to me.
I LOVE THIS PROCESS. It keeps my mind astute.
Some people may observe and say this or that about my little life. As simple as it is, there is always, always the inquisitive mind that ponders life, it's mysteries and how I fit in with it all.
This is no walk down to feed the ducks....... although this is a side road, believe it or not.
There are a million ways to empty ourselves to become less of who we think we need to be, and also a million ways to become more available for others. To forget about this that and the other thing, and to actually be present with life that is happening on so many different levels.
I know I have my homework cut out for me and I am extremely grateful for any and all situations that allow me to come closer to this realization.
I am so grateful for the tiniest of opportunities to shed the layers that don't belong, to get me closest to my raw, raw soul, that continuously is thirsty to become whole, whole, whole!
Thank you for all of you who help me along this exquisite journey called my life.
I am forever humbled ~
Sunday, August 5, 2012
WE ALL DIP IN......
......but we also have the choice to DIP OUT!
The mind is a little shit and the first chance it gets it will pack up the van and take you on a joy ride. Who doesn't like joy rides, and that is why it fools us because it gets our adrenalin going and there we are, in the midst of our own movie in our head, riding in the "van" on our joy ride, "excited" as hell, blood pumping through our veins and THIS is what our bodies recognize as FUN. Truly. It's amazing how that whole thing shows up and we totally buy into it. It's such a crock of BS.
I've redefined "fun" in my life and have worked diligently through the years to undo what "fun" means, and what excitement is.
Sometimes I feel as if I am a small child in wonderment, and often times I feel as if I have lived a very full life and am in my 80's, chuckling, saying, " What the hell did I buy into for all of those years?"
I have to take silent breaks away from my everyday norm to look at my life objectively, to see if I am buying "silver coins" or if I am standing firm in my consciousness with a fresh awareness of my actions, my thoughts and how I am moving in the world. Not according to what "should" be or "should not" be, but as a conscious human being, am I moving the way I want according to my own values?
No one is perfect. We all get the chances, daily, to re-do, re-define, and create our realities the way we want.
I get stuck just like everyone else, but I always try to see what needs to change and ask myself, "what today........ what can I change today to be more in line with my soul's yearning?"
Ya know what? This could be me being lazy and throwing away a plastic bottle into the garbage, knowing full well there is recycling. It doesn't happen often but when it does happen, I stop for a split second and go, "Wow", you are choosing to be lazy right now". I grab it out of the garbage and put it by my door to be put outside. I giggle kinda at my own laziness at times and say to myself lightly, "Give me more consciousness". Like, what the hell......... it's really kinda funny how we just move around so lazy. Honestly. As if we don't have a conscious, or a brain to decipher right from wrong. There's a million things that come to me in a day like that, just for ME, and then you venture out into the big bad world and you see so much. It's as if there is a huge veil over every one's eyes and you almost feel like you are in some Sci-Fi movie with robots moving about, eating candy, staring at their phones, zoning out to music, beeping their horns at people they don't know, cursing because they are angry that you rushed in front of them, I mean it is absolute craziness!!
I feel as if the first part of my life was so intense. I've been intense since I was a young child and that sort of was a curse. I thought and thought and thought and observed till the cows came home. Always reflective and observing behaviors, life, nature and creatures. The whole entire Universe was so sexy to me. So attractive and alluring.
Things haven't changed much and it takes everything for me to remain somewhat in the mainstream of things in "fear" that I will lose the innocence, the gorgeous edge of what is really real for me in this life, and leave all thought to my inner quest. Leave it to whoever or whatever feeds me the consciousness that I am so blessed to have now. The powers of.......... ??
It's like that silly but oh so true old movie called "Ground Hogs Day". We really do get the chance everyday to do things over and over and over again until we get it right. We all make mistakes and that is part of life, but the best is that there is a loving energy that will always be there, and it comes in many forms, to hold your hand, to let you know that you are not alone and that more choices are available to you. More than the old stinky ones you have been trying out but are just old now. Like old socks. Get rid of'em already. There are holes in them, can't you see?
Life is pretty generous.
I feel that. When I am not stuck in my own ideas of how things should go, life throws some pretty amazing curve balls and I laugh at myself when my mouth drops in total surprise. NO!! WHY AM I SURPRISED?
When I trust that I am not the controller, the end all of how life should be run, and I allow a higher power to grab my hand, it gets pretty stellar and then.......... then my mouth drops and I am like............. WHOA! How did I do that again? And then I want to do it again, and again, just to see if it works more than once. HAHAHHA!! It does damn it! I've relied on this trust for 30 years. It's never proved me wrong. When my little self gets in the way though, it ruins it all. It's a God consciousness that infuses you with the will to truck on. Don't give in to whatever it is that your brain drums up.
It so reminds me of a friend who is a quadriplegic. He couldn't move out of his chair, could only use his arms sparingly, and was in a wheel chair 24/7. He was more capable than many people I know who are fully capable. His willingness to live and to beat all odds, mentally and physically drew me like a magnet. He was and is such an inspiration for all of us who have gotten the divine opportunity to work on his body, to feed him, bath him, work him out, and just hang with an individual who was a gorgeous surfer dude from California who got in a terrible car accident and it changed his life. He, to this day, is one of my biggest inspirations.
You cannot allow ANY OBSTACLE to stand in your way. No matter what it is, there is a way to rise above any affliction, with the trust and love and courage to WANT TO HEAL, to want to change and beat all odds.
The people that inspire me are the ones who throw all ideas out of the window and they do any and everything to achieve the desired goal. When it comes to that intensity, the rule book can stay on the night stand but the source of all sources is the thing that will plummet you to the heights of where you thought or think you could never go or reach.
Take a side road. Just check it out. It doesn't have to be any one person's way. Just your way, whatever is comfortable for you. Get inspired to work outside of the box. To live in the fullest way that you can that will take you out of fear, out of any thought that will keep you stuck, and not feeling totally alive in your beautiful skin.
I'm so inspired myself, tonight. I feel like jumping up and down.
Sometimes it just takes getting a little quiet. Put down the computer or TV or music. Get away from the norm and visit with yourself, silently. It may feel uncomfortable at first but trust me, it's like sitting with a good friend who you haven't seen in a really long time. Once you break the ice, YOU ARE IN HEAVEN. You start laughing, and forgetting about all of the so called "problems" that you have and you just revel in the beauty of the moment, with your "friend". Your best friend, called YOU! ~
The mind is a little shit and the first chance it gets it will pack up the van and take you on a joy ride. Who doesn't like joy rides, and that is why it fools us because it gets our adrenalin going and there we are, in the midst of our own movie in our head, riding in the "van" on our joy ride, "excited" as hell, blood pumping through our veins and THIS is what our bodies recognize as FUN. Truly. It's amazing how that whole thing shows up and we totally buy into it. It's such a crock of BS.
I've redefined "fun" in my life and have worked diligently through the years to undo what "fun" means, and what excitement is.
Sometimes I feel as if I am a small child in wonderment, and often times I feel as if I have lived a very full life and am in my 80's, chuckling, saying, " What the hell did I buy into for all of those years?"
I have to take silent breaks away from my everyday norm to look at my life objectively, to see if I am buying "silver coins" or if I am standing firm in my consciousness with a fresh awareness of my actions, my thoughts and how I am moving in the world. Not according to what "should" be or "should not" be, but as a conscious human being, am I moving the way I want according to my own values?
No one is perfect. We all get the chances, daily, to re-do, re-define, and create our realities the way we want.
I get stuck just like everyone else, but I always try to see what needs to change and ask myself, "what today........ what can I change today to be more in line with my soul's yearning?"
Ya know what? This could be me being lazy and throwing away a plastic bottle into the garbage, knowing full well there is recycling. It doesn't happen often but when it does happen, I stop for a split second and go, "Wow", you are choosing to be lazy right now". I grab it out of the garbage and put it by my door to be put outside. I giggle kinda at my own laziness at times and say to myself lightly, "Give me more consciousness". Like, what the hell......... it's really kinda funny how we just move around so lazy. Honestly. As if we don't have a conscious, or a brain to decipher right from wrong. There's a million things that come to me in a day like that, just for ME, and then you venture out into the big bad world and you see so much. It's as if there is a huge veil over every one's eyes and you almost feel like you are in some Sci-Fi movie with robots moving about, eating candy, staring at their phones, zoning out to music, beeping their horns at people they don't know, cursing because they are angry that you rushed in front of them, I mean it is absolute craziness!!
I feel as if the first part of my life was so intense. I've been intense since I was a young child and that sort of was a curse. I thought and thought and thought and observed till the cows came home. Always reflective and observing behaviors, life, nature and creatures. The whole entire Universe was so sexy to me. So attractive and alluring.
Things haven't changed much and it takes everything for me to remain somewhat in the mainstream of things in "fear" that I will lose the innocence, the gorgeous edge of what is really real for me in this life, and leave all thought to my inner quest. Leave it to whoever or whatever feeds me the consciousness that I am so blessed to have now. The powers of.......... ??
It's like that silly but oh so true old movie called "Ground Hogs Day". We really do get the chance everyday to do things over and over and over again until we get it right. We all make mistakes and that is part of life, but the best is that there is a loving energy that will always be there, and it comes in many forms, to hold your hand, to let you know that you are not alone and that more choices are available to you. More than the old stinky ones you have been trying out but are just old now. Like old socks. Get rid of'em already. There are holes in them, can't you see?
Life is pretty generous.
I feel that. When I am not stuck in my own ideas of how things should go, life throws some pretty amazing curve balls and I laugh at myself when my mouth drops in total surprise. NO!! WHY AM I SURPRISED?
When I trust that I am not the controller, the end all of how life should be run, and I allow a higher power to grab my hand, it gets pretty stellar and then.......... then my mouth drops and I am like............. WHOA! How did I do that again? And then I want to do it again, and again, just to see if it works more than once. HAHAHHA!! It does damn it! I've relied on this trust for 30 years. It's never proved me wrong. When my little self gets in the way though, it ruins it all. It's a God consciousness that infuses you with the will to truck on. Don't give in to whatever it is that your brain drums up.
It so reminds me of a friend who is a quadriplegic. He couldn't move out of his chair, could only use his arms sparingly, and was in a wheel chair 24/7. He was more capable than many people I know who are fully capable. His willingness to live and to beat all odds, mentally and physically drew me like a magnet. He was and is such an inspiration for all of us who have gotten the divine opportunity to work on his body, to feed him, bath him, work him out, and just hang with an individual who was a gorgeous surfer dude from California who got in a terrible car accident and it changed his life. He, to this day, is one of my biggest inspirations.
You cannot allow ANY OBSTACLE to stand in your way. No matter what it is, there is a way to rise above any affliction, with the trust and love and courage to WANT TO HEAL, to want to change and beat all odds.
The people that inspire me are the ones who throw all ideas out of the window and they do any and everything to achieve the desired goal. When it comes to that intensity, the rule book can stay on the night stand but the source of all sources is the thing that will plummet you to the heights of where you thought or think you could never go or reach.
Take a side road. Just check it out. It doesn't have to be any one person's way. Just your way, whatever is comfortable for you. Get inspired to work outside of the box. To live in the fullest way that you can that will take you out of fear, out of any thought that will keep you stuck, and not feeling totally alive in your beautiful skin.
I'm so inspired myself, tonight. I feel like jumping up and down.
Sometimes it just takes getting a little quiet. Put down the computer or TV or music. Get away from the norm and visit with yourself, silently. It may feel uncomfortable at first but trust me, it's like sitting with a good friend who you haven't seen in a really long time. Once you break the ice, YOU ARE IN HEAVEN. You start laughing, and forgetting about all of the so called "problems" that you have and you just revel in the beauty of the moment, with your "friend". Your best friend, called YOU! ~
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