BEYOND COMPREHENSION

Today, for some reason, from the moment I woke up, has been laden with epiphanies, and too, experiences that are way out of my realm of understanding.

It is not like I am a foreigner to the depths of this existence, and what it may reveal, but what fascinates me the most, is the enormity of it all, and knowing it will never cease. So, therein lies a life, abundant with existentialism.

It started out with me waking up, coming down the stairs, late, might I add, since last night was closing at work, and finally, Gabriela said yes to an invitation out for a bit, so I pushed the guilt aside, to go home to my babies right away, and decided that a couple of beers, pool, and shuffle board were in my future, at least the momentary future. I don't even drink beer, but Blue Moon with oranges is kiddy enough for this novice. Wheat beer, I think......good enough for me, at least I'll be getting my fiber rations for the day.

(Wow, SHE LIVES). There really is someone in there that likes to go out occasionally). I almost forgot who she was!

Anyway, I came down the stairs and immediately a huge rush came over me. Something so huge, so physically overwhelming that I was bewildered. I tried to continue with my morning, but as fast as lightening, the moment swept me up into a reality that took me by such surprise, and I wound up standing there, with this phenomenal wave of my Mother. Her energy consumed me, and soon, I was transported to another ........what.........I don't know what to call it. Realm? Consciousness? Reality? Time? I mean, that all sounds a bit too esoteric, even to me, but how do I articulate what actually took place, in the few moments that molded my day into something I will never, ever forget, for the rest of my life?

You know, this thing happened so quickly, but in those moments, it seemed like a lifetime.

I heard her tell me a few things.

This is not me drumming up something I want to hear, or needed to hear, although, I did NEED to hear what those words conveyed, but, it was the experience of what we see in movies, or maybe read about.

It was REAL. I have no reason to want to drum up something so complex, and maybe scary too.

It's not that easy to deal with death, for one, and two, not something you want to consciously dredge up, at least I don't think, to somehow make you feel better., in one given moment or another.



When it comes to life and death, there is almost no rhyme or reason, at least this is my experience. Maybe with Life, I can write and write of my own personal experiences, and too, my life long observations, and time filled with people from all over the world, and what they have to say, but Death, is another entity, in and of itself.

You can't really write about death, although there are plenty of people who have crossed over, and have come back, with amazing stories, and statements that just cannot be pulled out from the ether's. I mean, I think people have incredible imaginations, but to me, there is a razor sharp realness that resonates with me, at least, and I do dip into wanting to know, Death, as well, as the life that we are living, while I am healthy, conscious and alive with a clarity that may only prepare me for that moment, whenever it is that my time comes.

This is such an intricate, and gorgeous subject, that I can literally spend the rest of my life writing away on all the different facets that it is useful to us, how it is our best friend, and, by far, a subject that allows us to feel, 500% of what it is, to be in this body, and to tap into another type of "thought", that is not in our present "schooling", so to speak.

It is considered the "dark" side of the moon. The not to be talked about till your in your 80's type of talk, or at least until it presents itself to you.

By no means, would anyone randomly or purposely choose to activate those thoughts, or mull them over on a regular basis, because............why? We just aren't there yet, so why beat a dead horse when the horse is just sweetly drinking his water and eating his hay? Nothings going awry so why upset the apple cart sort of thing.

Any, any, anyyyyyyy how.........

I heard my Mother. She told me things that were pertinent to hear, and it brought me to my knees, literally.

The physical sensation that overwhelmed my body could not be described. Not in this moment anyway.

I kept saying, "OK, OK......... Just go with it".

Tears automatically flooded my face, and I stood there, with information being handed to me that I had no idea what to do with.

I kept saying, "Thank You"............that is all that came out of my mouth.

I felt frozen, yet knew it wasn't going to end, so I stood there, asking to be open, to receive whatever it was that needed to come to me.

I felt my Mother like this, only after she had passed, and she came to me, in my bedroom, at my sisters house, and "visited" for long enough, that I had the grand opportunity to digest. In it's entirety, not until recently, but in small doses, I began to understand death, and it's workings, and how to embrace it, in the myriad of ways it may show up.

I knew, this morning, without a shadow of a doubt, that there was a reason for her showing up today. Maybe, maybe, for a split second, did I try to analyze it all, but it only took seconds for that to naturally dissipate, and for me to effortlessly, embrace the unknown, once again, to allow it to just be part of my journey here, and to add a few notches to my already chiseled soul.

The day, after that, was unspeakably heightened. My acute awareness, the sensitivity of allowance, and the genuine, pure love, that is felt, thankfully, everyday, was all bundled up into a ball of unexplainable fortune, one that is with me now. It has loomed in my vortex all day, and somehow there is a blanket of OK.......ness. No matter the subject.

Even if it wasn't my Mother. Things like this happen all of the time, if we are open enough, and are wanting OUT of the normal way of thinking, and existing.

I ask for that on a regular basis, and have since I was a small child.

HERE IT IS!

I welcome you, you nameless Spirit you...............

I'm no fool!

I take back roads in my life for reasons ya know. That doesn't mean I will know what those back roads will entail, but I do know, that it feels much better to take the back roads, than to feel safe on a hugely lit highway.

I'll bring my flashlight, in hopes the battery stays good............AND...........IF NOT............

MY INNER LIGHT, WILL ALWAYS GUIDE THE WAY!

Call me crazy!

I'm onto more than my own personality wants to admit.

Touche' for higher consciousness getting the best of me!!!

Touche'.........Touche'

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