...........our own expectations on how we "should" have handled a situation, or how we "should" have been this way or that way......... Anything other than what was executed, the moment we knew we were in the midst of something that showed up for a specific reason, in our evolution.
It's like we get these opportunities to see some things about ourselves, and we get caught up in the midst of the emotion, and we react without stepping aside to see how the situation could have been handled differently, or at least more objectively. Then, all of a sudden, we find ourselves back in time, where all of those feelings are "oh, so familiar".
At this point and time, for me, in these situations, I hope to say that I have learned a lot, throughout the years, and would be able to separate myself from anything that is not good and still be able to act accordingly, but I think we all have our milestones.
I don't profess to be anything, or to know anything imparticular, but I have diligently worked on myself enough to know certain things, and it bothers me to know that my reaction to strong personalities, or situations, still get the best of me, and allow my body to take on a memory, and too, bring it so much to the forefront, that it feels real, and so uncomfortable, that I want to make drastic decisions, that probably could be remedied by me stepping back and looking at it for what it truly is, and not as something that is happening TO ME.
I say this with total humbleness, because if it were up to me, I would have made a hard core decision about a huge part of my life. To let something go that doesn't need to be let go of yet.
I know this sounds super general, and esoteric, almost, but I think you'll get the gist.
I know in my heart, that the blame cannot be cast on the other person, without some sort of responsibility taken for ourselves. So, what do we need to see, and why, and then how can we make amends in a conscious way, not just OK....ing it to death, and making it work just because it HAS TO.
Where is my homework? What do I need to do to fill my part in making this a go? In making this part of my daily work to see my own issues, yet, heed to the red flags that come my way everyday, about pertinent things that need to be addressed..............
How do people in your vortex talk to you? Is it kind? Is it not kind? Is it something that you are willing to work with if they are willing to see some things about themselves, and work in unison to heal whatever it is that needs to be healed, or are you just stomping on some old grounds that you are just bored of, tired of trying to help people get to a good place within themselves, and then leaving it all up to the fact that you are "bigger" and you should just plunge through, and work it all out?
Is it worth it to you? How much time is spent in that compromising situation?
How does it make you feel throughout your days?
Is it one person, two person, how many people are contributing to making you feel less than who you are?
Let's be real on this one?
Are you in the energy that you want to be in? If not, why? And what can you do to make it better?
I am always trying to fine tune my life, and adjusting where adjustment needs to be.
I tell you, this sort of stuff is life long homeowork, to me, at least, and I cannot see how, we all go on, without thoughtful consideration, to these subjects, and more.
I don't know about you, but I take such things like this to heart, and want to make the best out of a situation, rather than to bail, prematurely, out of a reaction that is from an emotional place.
I am all for the "stand back" approach, to see, objectively, how things REALLY look, and to see if it winds up being the same picture, as what you painted the moment it all transpired.
I guarantee you, things will slightly shift.
I am on a little trek.
And in that trek, I will always be willing to look at myself, see what needs to be corrected, and honor the situation at hand.
Look, none of us are perfect, and nor, do I want to be!!!!!
I just want to be able to own my own stuff, communicate, and harness the good in all of my relatings with people.
This can be dragged into a very long blog.
It is late and I must get up.
Ponder my words.
I am.
They may seem over here and over there, but I think you will get the gist.
It is late, and I am typing as if there is no tomorrow.
Contemplate, always, contemplate!
Gnite you sweet lovers,
G
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