.......to be able to express my gratitude.
I am grateful for one thing, right off the bat.
I am grateful, that in my tiny little evolution, that I don't have to wait for days like today, Thanksgiving, or any other birthday or holiday, to tell people how grateful I am that they are in my life, or how they have affected me, or just how special they are.
That is part of my everyday life, and I am so GRATEFUL FOR THAT.
To be able to wake up everyday, to pan on the people in my life, present and not, to skim through the whys and how's, and to be able to feel such love, in such a big way.
It's funny because on the outside, life is happening, events occur, and you deal with life in all of the ways that it presents itself, or should I say, too, how we create it to be, and it is what it is........good, bad......... this way or that way.
But......no matter......somehow, my little light doesn't go out. Maybe God coated me in those trick candles........you know, the ones where you blow and blow and blow, and they still come back on??
That's me! heee YEAH, for that miracle, right?
This light will never go out. It may flicker from time to time, but at the end of the day, when I reach my altar.......... the flame gets hot........the candle brightens, in the midst of anything that may come my way.
I see my Mom's picture there, and I stare at it. I tell her, "I don't know how you did it alone, with 5 kids".
I never felt shy of love, let me tell you. I may have felt shy of some new school clothes, or the newest toy that was circulating in school and around the neighborhood, but I was never, ever, devoid of a warm touch, a loving whisper, or a wink, in the midst of chaos, that we were still good, and love was guiding the way.
I thank her everyday for my beautiful life that she provided, and for the teachings, and the lessons that have come about, in my life, because of her, then, and even now, more so, that she is gone......
This day, of course, may have us all thinking a bit harder, on our lives, just what we ARE grateful for, and maybe ease up on ourselves, and others, knowing that we are all human, with frailties, vulnerabilities, and issues that may come across in ways in which we would rather not.
It is all there for our taking, so to speak. We can take it, embrace it, love it a little so it takes the edge off of our already scrutinizing thoughts about ourselves, and others, and chalk it up to part of our journey here, discovering who we are, and what we need to take care of to make things good, make things a little easier for ourselves, instead of being so salmon-esque...........always going against the flow of the river, trying to swim up stream, when we darn well know, it is much easier to flow down the river, with the current.
Today, I am grateful for many things, but if I could shorten my list, which is almost impossible, I would have to just start naming, off the top of my head, the who's the how's, the THIS AND THAT'S.
1. I am thankful for my mother for persevering her pregnancy with me. She almost lost me, down to the last minute, and only with her undying prayers, and devotion to god, did she get delivered a baby girl that she was wanting, so badly, at that time in here life. She delivered a natural fighter, and so that story goes. I am grateful for my existence...... in every way.
2. I am grateful for, not only the people who make me smile, and support me, and love me for who I am, but for those of you who don't!
Who question me, and every ounce of my ways, my thoughts, my actions, and my choices.
YOU TRULY, ARE THE ONES THAT I AM GRATEFUL FOR! The ones who push me to define who I really am, to stick to it, and to never budge, no matter what thoughts come my way. You make me a stronger woman, and allow me to practice non-judgement, and allow me to LOVE THAT MUCH MORE, and to practice what TRUE LOVE REALLY IS. That, to me, is to love beyond opinions, labels, and ideas.
You allow me to define myself and my beliefs, that much more. You push me to strengthen my ability to harness the good in life, beyond all the muck. You test my spiritual beliefs and my views as a woman, and allow me to fail, make mistakes, and push harder, to make a razor sharp definition of who I really am in this life.
For the ones who are there, holding my hand, I smother you in the elegance of Orchids, and bow to you with great and humble pleasure, for understanding my journey, and allowing me into yours, and riding the see saw of life with me. Unequivocally, I will be at you "beck and call", and find nothing, nothing, in this world, that cannot be accomplished, or attained, for you, whatever that may be. I will, undoubtedly, find a way, for you, to have any and everything that you want or desire. And that, my friend, is so little, in comparison, to what a heart has given.
So, please allow me.
The list is starting to get long, but at the top, middle and bottom of this list, HAS TO BE GIVEN TO THE LOVES OF MY LIFE!
My precious animals, who, I cannot express enough, make my every moments, in every day, blossom with goodness, with purity, with genuineness, with transformation, with forgiveness, with the child in me, who needs love, and too, who gives love, unabashedly, because..........IT CAN, AND so fervently, WANTS TO!
They continue to show me the epitome of love, in all of it's innocence, and it allows me to stay fresh, in an otherwise, tainted and obscure world.
For my Spiritual Teacher, that is no longer "here" and for the multitude of teachings that molded my life in so many amazing ways, and has shown me how to connect to something much greater than myself, and how, on a daily basis, I can access that grandiose place, not just as a meditation, but a live, walking experience, with nature, myself, and the human race. I bow with such gratitude, for having that opportunity, which doesn't come easily in this life, and bow too, that I have taken what I have learned, and moved on, to discover more of who I am, in heightening those tools, with my own passion to know Truth in this lifetime.
My quest will never end.
To my family, who I grew up with, living as a family "should", learning the curves of togetherness, survival, love, tenderness, and too, a hard core reality of how it is to live amongst many others, with completely different realities, yet still reside under the same roof. It is almost impossible to understand one another completely, in all of life's complexities, and how our own journeys give us situations, some the same, and some different, that will either bring us together, or separate us, for reasons, sometimes unbeknownst to us.
It is all a mix of emotions that come to you, to decipher, and to put into a perspective, according to your own life, and how you map it out to be, that suits you best. There is no right or wrong.
For my job, that sustains me, and allows the most stability for me, in many ways, and too, has brought me the most amazing people, as friends, as confidants, and just beautiful souls that are obviously just "Passer-Byers" but, nonetheless, phenomenal people who I will never forget for the rest of my life. They have impacted my heart and soul. And........they know it!
For the person I work for. Many, many nice things can be said, but I think he would turn more red than he already exudes on a daily basis, so let me just say, "I am indebted to him", for many reasons.......amongst being one of the sweetest men I know, truly!
For God, the Universe or whoever....... is liable for this crazy, unsettling, uncertain, beautiful, mysterious, satisfying, yet, unsatisfying, existence........I take my hat off, and Surrender to the MOMENT.
If anything, I do know, one thing is for certain.
When I Surrender to the MOMENT, all of life seems to come together, to make sense, in my own way, and it takes the heat off of trying to figure out this crazy, crazy, complicated life, and makes it the splendor of love that it exudes only when you FEEL in love.
That feeling is available more than you know. You certainly DON'T need to find THE ONE, to participate in the greatest love making there is.
That being said.............. Make love to this fine, fine day, called Thanks.......and Giving.............
Thank all of you for giving.................to me............in all of the ways that you do.
You are a blessing..............ALL OF YOU............... IN MY LIFE!
THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU...................
You great teachers you.................
Gabriela
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