EXCUSES TO LOVE

To me, there are people, situations and events that give you the utmost opportunities to LOVE, THAT MUCH MORE, than you would normally.

It may not seem like a good situation, maybe even a bad one, but, too, the situations where you feel your heart expand, as if it's on cruise control, and you seemingly have "no control" over how much you love, or how it is even expressed, is the biggest blessing in disguise.

Love is grand in that way!

It sure is scary, and no matter the event or situation, there is a healing. You have to really look at the situation and see, closely into it, how you have called that in, and why, and use it to your advantage.

I recently was at odds with a co-worker, and it had been like that for awhile. I don't think we had the greatest chemistry, for obvious, and, not so obvious reasons.

It had been months and months that we had actually spoken, outside of very black and white work lingo. It bothered me, and yet, I wanted to stand a ground, for myself, that stood up for my belief systems.

One night, recently, we had it out, and it bothered me in such a big way.

I usually get along with everyone.

For whatever reason, our chemistry wasn't happening, and a situation occurred.

It was big for me, and for him, as well.

I don't think anyone wants to be in a situation that is uncomfortable, yet, we sometimes operate from places that have been directly pointed to our past, no matter what it has been. We all have our own stories.

The matter was huge and we both had to take some sort of stance that would either, "brake" or "make" us, within a business that we both love and are passionate about.

The other night, as we were closing, we both sat at a table, late...........

We were both doing our Labor Reports, and there was a tension, even sitting at the same table.

It was a moment in time. Maybe that sounds silly to some of you, but for that type of energy, being at the same table was monumental.

We squirmed a bit, and then found our way to talking. Mind you, at first, not even looking at each other.

As the moments went by, we started to talk about personal things, and before you knew it, there was an openness and a vulnerability that was so refreshing, yet so scary. Neither one of us expressed that we were not used to letting people in close, and yet, I let him in, and visa verse.

It was a mere 10 minutes, but in that 10 minutes, I was able to shed a lot of thoughts, as to how I saw this person, and too, how this person may have seen me, and we connected in a way that caught me by such surprise, and by the time we closed the doors, put the alarm on, we were walking each other to our cars, and I hugged him and said Thank You. I actually said, " I don't want to NOT like you". I see why things are the way that they are.

I was so sincere. We may not have the easiest time meshing, but it is there for a reason. He gave me an excuse, unbeknownst to him, TO LOVE, BEYOND WHAT I THOUGHT I COULD!

It is easy to love people who love us!

What isn't so easy, is to love people who may not show us love, or love us in the way that we think they should.

After that night, I felt so completely different, and even emailed him and told him how grateful I was to be able to have that opportunity to forget what had happened and to start new, and to look at him beyond what "seems" to be, and to be fresh with the person that gave me a chance to be me, against whatever ideas they may have of me.

I shared much of myself that he said had made things much more clear, and made sense, as to why he may have made concrete comments on me. Who knows, maybe he sees me differently. I don't want that to make a difference, but it does feel good that we expressed certain things, on a human level that might explain a thing or two.

He, amongst many others, are my EXCUSE TO LOVE MORE DEEPLY, beyond what it looks like.

I am so grateful for those souls that have no idea what their part is in our lives.

I see it, and acknowledge it, and bow down, with great, great gratitude, for their presence in my life, to bring me that much closer to who I am.

Thank you for this beautiful life.

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