It is a completely wild ride, if you really sit back and pan on your life as a young child. See what you were doing, what you were experiencing, how life was, and how, really, those exact moments, have molded you to who you are today.
I am talking about the ages of 2, 3, 4.......and up.......I mean, I can remember, explicitly, events that were happening at age 2. Call me crazy, but I can back it up.
It's kind of like watching the Titanic. It starts out by watching the elder, and how they live their life, but then pans back on an intense reality, that really DID happen, and you watch the "movie" as it plays, back in time, and it reels you in, giving you a good sense of what really went on, back then, and how it measures up to how you are to this day.
There are milestones.
We really are troopers for withstanding all that we do, and all that comes our way.
We do have grey hair for reasons, I kid you not! My 7 dollar box of medium brown truffle becomes my angel every 6 weeks. Issues, or no issues.
I have somewhat reunited with a step sister, who was in my life, whole heartedly, at one point in my life. It was at a very young and impressionable age, where life was just good, you are young, and nothing really matters but getting up, eating cereal, and seeing what your parent has in store for you for the day.
We have not physically met again, but my other brothers and sister have. They are all on the East Coast and are close enough to meet when they want.
I am still far away, with my own life, and well, the "reuniting" has been intense enough from a distance that somehow, it seems good enough for me right now, just to digest, and to get a grip on how this is all playing out, and why, and how to embrace it with a clarity, and a consciousness that will only serve me well in the long run.
Ya know, maybe it is just my nature to dig deep. Why I wrote maybe in that sentence bewilders me.
IT IS MY NATURE TO DIG DEEP.
We are talking about a family that was "bestowed upon us" at very early stages of our lives.
I'm talkin bout 40 some years ago.
There are volumes to tell, and it is beautiful, and sad, and so many other words that could describe a life full of events that were put in front of us for reasons unbeknownst to us at the time, but now, make sense, and so the puzzle gets put together, all of these years later, and you go............. Woa............. was this REALLY my life, and were these people REALLY in my life?
It seems so long ago, almost dream like, and yet, they were such a pertinent part of your life, much more impressionable than you care to realize.
Once you start thinking about the people, the events and all of the scenarios that took place, you go................... Wow, this REALLY WAS MY LIFE...............This is NOT a movie............it was just so long ago that it DOES REALLY SEEM DREAM LIKE.
If you care to look at the whys and how's of life, you will instantly be grateful for any, any event that re-surfaces and shows you a part of your past that somehow, is still, yes........still a part of your ever growing and evolving relationship with yourself, and your own particular evolution, and how it all makes sense, in the bigger scheme of things.
This is the continuation of a TV series that you hate to wait for, week to week, the conclusions of certain subject matter. This subject cannot be left here, just as a December 10Th blog, and then nothing else to consider.
I will have to continue.
The content and the message is way too deep, and too revealing to leave it in such shallow waters.
Let me say, "To be continued", and not very fond of those words, but, please, so no one gets agitated at my long blogs as it is, and allow me time, to contemplate this subject further, as it has "rights" of sorts, to further detail the "immeshings" of the past.
I am ever so grateful for my past, everyone in it, and how they have molded my life, to present.
Thank you times 10.
For lack of better expression.
Love,
As always,
Gabriela
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