Tuesday, December 8, 2009

FOR NOT WANTING TO BE A MOTHER......

.......I sure do get plenty of opportunities to be one, in so many ways. Maybe not ALL, but surely, 90% or more, comes to me, and I have to stand back, like tonight, when things are THAT obvious, and go with the objectivity of it all, and acknowledge that, even though I have not had children, I always seem to attract situations where I do have to be a "mother" of sorts. And not even HAVE to, but the moment brings a situation, and there I find myself in the middle of something that non other than a mother would be in, or, I guess I could say, a friend too.

To me, mother and friend go hand in hand. Not everyone can say that, but I can.

My mother and I were more friends. Maybe I shouldn't say "more", but our relating was definitely a friendship..........and too, trust me, I did get grounded a bunch, and so therein lies the mother aspect, not the friend.............. but............the friend, masked!

Tonight was a slow night at work, and it lended for a warm type of atmosphere. It was raining and cold out. I thought for sure there wouldn't be anyone in their right mind coming in to eat a pizza, but yes, customers came in, but it was quiet, to say the least. I didn't mind, and it left room to get a lot of things done.

It also left room for me to pan on so many things at work.

I got to visit with my employees, a little bit here, and a little bit there, and found the night to be very interesting, and quite fulfilling, for many different reasons.

One individual, who I never get "chatty" with, decided that tonight, for some reason, he wanted to open up to me, and ask my advice about a relationship that he was about to enter.
Now, you have to understand that this particular individual is quite set in his ways, (in a good way), and you can always expect the same from him, no matter what. Not chatty in the least, very matter of fact, does his job and gets the hell outa dodge.

Well, tonight, he pulled me aside and told me how if he talked to anyone, it would be me, about this conversation we were about to have.

He took me off guard, and when he asked if I had a moment, I said, "absolutely".

He started to tell me about a date he went on, and how he felt, and he thought of me, wondering how I would feel about the situation. I didn't take it as weird, or anything like that. He's a cool guy, and intuitively speaking, there would be nothing to worry about on my end.

When the conversation started, I thought"wow, this is odd", but then I said, hmmmmm, I am honored, in a sense. I don't know why.....I have barely spoken to this man, except for counting down his drawer and making sure he is doing his job, which he always does, on the money, no second guessing.

He opened up to me, like I said, a surprise, and no sooner do you know, it unfolded as an "intimate" conversation about life, listening to ones own intuition, as opposed to just flying into situations, head on with no recognition of something higher that might be telling us something.

He asked me my advice, so naturally, I gave it to him, with no attachment to whether he took it or not. Just seemed like a simple equation, yet, it's not me, so it may not seem THAT simple.

It wasn't only that situation, but several, almost all, employees had some sort of question about life, or love, or some burning desire, that they felt the need to express, and gladly felt comfortable enough to share, or ask any particular questions that they may have had.

Mind you, it still blows my mind that these kids are 20 and 25 years younger than myself, so trying to get a grip around that is enough, but then when they confide in me, and start opening up, it takes on a whole new life, and there I sit, in sort of a bewildered state, trying to be the thing that comes the hardest for me.........detached..........yet, open!

I was proud to find myself being most objective, to these little souls that were asking so much from me, but in no way was it depleting. As a matter of fact, I felt a very deep sweetness, maybe like a "mother" would have.

Some kids just want your approval, some trying to show you they are good enough, some wanting you to acknowledge them as people, not just as a label of what they are.......at work.

I was truly honored tonight, to be there, listening, to these human beings, who are just like me, no difference. People who are getting along in life, doing what they love, or, need to be doing, in order to get to where they want to be............ but sweet as all get out, in their way.

I loved listening, getting to know these people that I spend so much time with, and glad to have had the down time to actually look at these souls, beyond a schedule, beyond marking their names in a slot on a clip board, or giving them detailed instructions on how to do this, or do that.

I connected with so many souls tonight, that actually took me out of myself, and what is going on with me, and had the blessed opportunity to listen, to gently give feedback, and to verbally recognize my interactions with these people, and too, allow them to do their jobs, in a calm fashion, yet stay focused, and alert.

It is imperative to me to be able to relate to people with compassion and too, in such a way that they will be able to execute anything you ask, as long as their is that allowance, for people to be who they are, within what they do.

I'm not talking about being a push over, and not getting the job done. I'm talking about allowing people to be who they are, in their job, that they spend most of their time at.

It is important for me to be able to balance the work side, and too, almost imperative, to give myself, and whoever works for or with me, the same opportunity.

Look, we spend 10-12 hours a day with these people. I find it an art to balance the things that are important to me, and how it "should" translate to others.

It is their work day as well. I'm not above them, so to speak.

I want everyone to be able to enjoy their day, to be able to go home with a good feeling that they had an awesome day at work, no matter what the load or how busy it was.

To me, it means a lot to know that you work many, many hours at a job, and to be able to go home saying that you had an awesome day at work.............well.............that means a lot to me.

So, I guess it is like a relationship.

You do have to balance it all out.

There are responsibilities, of course, but then too, it is a fine art, to execute firmness, and, allowance.

No one should go home loathing their job. If that is the case, I'm in the wrong place, or I have not gotten creative enough to make it a place of learning, of love, of hard work, and laughing.......... there are many things to embrace and if you can do those things, I think you've aced a big part of the working world.

There are always going to be obstacles, learning curves, and things you don't feel like doing, and I think that goes for almost anywhere, but............. there is an art to everything.

For me, it is an art to be stern, to be detached enough to get the point across.

For others, it may be an art to be nice, to be sweet enough, to be able to listen, to embrace people for where they are at, or how their particular lives are going.

Not everyone is in the same place. We all have our own individual situations, and really, YOU ARE NOT BETTER THAN ANYONE.

We all are on the same path, with maybe some different detours here and there, but by all means, we have to know that we all are different.

Your face may be more white, or maybe I'm olive, or you, dark, from , Mexico or India, who knows......... we may speak different languages, eat different foods, have different lifestyles, but......by god, we all ALL THE SAME............... PLEASE LET ME SAY THAT AGAIN............WE .......ARE .........ALL .........THE .......SAME!!!

The sooner we embrace that, the sooner we can relax and know that there is THAT MUCH LESS, that we have to stress over, or to deal with.

Don't let me get redundant on the holding hands thing okay?

I am/was grateful for my night tonight that held many different conversations, and all important and valid.

It was the first time, in a long time, that I felt as if being at my job gave me something outside of what it all looks like.

People, in general, give me life, only because it always goes back to how we perceive ourselves, and how, with that bottom line, we perceive life and what our goals and morals wind up becoming........hopefully something that will change a spirit, a soul, or someone who is working at the deli counter on a Monday night.

You never know just who, who.............will change your direction in life.

Sometimes the "smallest" of people, make the biggest impact.

That is my experience.............way back then..............

and

now!

Stick with me!

~

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