That is how I felt today, after my long walk.
I actually left the dogs home at first. I grabbed my coffee and headed out. It was so awesome out. It was warm enough to wear a tank top and jeans, which I love! I also took a raw looking walking stick that is sitting with a hundred other unmade ones, on my back deck. When I say unmade, it means that I have not yet polished them into nice walking sticks, which I love to do, and it one of my favorite past times. Time hasn't allowed, as of recent, but soon enough I'll be carving away, and loving every minute of it.
Anyway, I headed out.
The trees are screaming fall, the colors are blazing, and look so full of life, especially when the sun hits the leaves in just the right way. The sky was turning different colors right before me, and the goats next door were so darn cute, I stayed staring at them for a good 10 minutes.
It seemed as though everything had become magical. My heart started to feel excited at the mere thought that I had time, actual quality time, by myself, to walk amongst the beauty and magnificence of the day.
It was nice without the dogs for once, just because I got to explore in a totally different way. It felt as if a strobe light was on, and I was going in slow motion, checking everything out, staring at things as if it were my first time, feeling the bark on those 100 year oaks, crinkling the leaves with my shoes and laughing that something as little as that, still makes me feel like a kid, and wanting to brush through them as I did, Oh, 35 years ago.
I started to crack myself up that I was amusing myself in the smallest of ways.
I got to the corner of the street I normally turn down with the dogs, and realized there were no more leaves, so I slowed down.
I saw an old man on his riding lawn mower heading toward me. I thought, "Oh boy", maybe he just raked all of those leaves up and he was going to find a few old time curse words to spew at me.
He pulled up close to me as if he were in an old hot rod, sped up and then slammed on the brakes 2 feet in front of me. I had to jump back.
"Where ya live girl?" I didn't feel like getting into it with an old man, so I tried to just brush him off and say "down the road", and walk away.
Well, that wasn't going to happen, obviously.
"Ya live at the end there doncha?"
"Yes, I do".
"Ya live next to Bobby doncha?"
"No, sir I don't".
"Ya got dogs?"
I thought, "Oh, this is where this is all going". He's gonna talk to me long and hard about how my dogs just bark up a storm and rip me a new one.
Well, without going through every bit of dialogue, it came to be that the old man, was just being an old man...........and ............. ever so endearing to me. So much so that we stood in the road for about 20 minutes, talking about our dogs, the ones we have had the longest, the ones we had to put to sleep, the joy of having dogs, all of their pet peeves, and their cute little ways of being dogs/humans.
I had to talk extra loud and use my lips very specifically since he lost his hearing in the war.
He told me that he and his late wife were the first people to live on that street 40 years ago. She had just passed and he was sharing his love for her, saying that she went around the globe with him for 56 years, following him wherever he needed to be for the war.
He spoke of love, of devotion, and for being with one single person his whole life. He told me every aspect of what love was to him, and how without her, he would not have had a clue what love was.
He went on and on, and I just stared at him with such awe. I noticed every little thing about him. I saw his old wrinkled up tattoos on his fingers and arms, his scars, his ears torn up by bombs, and at the same time feeling an incredible vibration of a long lived soul, who fought for us, for what he whole heartedly believed in, and has made it to a place of being able to talk about it with a total stranger who, just one minute ago, was kicking the leaves, that I am sure he just blew to the curbside early that morning.
I started to well up inside for so many reasons. I felt so humbled to be with him, listening, just plain ol' listening to someone that wanted to talk. And the thing is.........I LOVE OLD PEOPLE! They can talk away, and I will pull up a chair, more so than talking with some people my own age. There is a significant difference, and if I had my druthers, it would always be choosing the elder, for I know, that what will be coming out of their mouthes will be full of hard core experience, a long lived and respected life, no matter who or where they come from, and some wise and funny stories about life, and man..............I LEARN, and always wind up laughing, and leaving with the greatest feeling on earth.
In the span of time that we talked I became even more child like. He asked if I had ever been married, asked if I was ever in love, if I had dreams, and what they were..........and so many other things that just made me feel so alive, and so innocent, beyond the innocence that had already captured me, just by walking out the door.
He said, "Get on". "Excuse me?", I said.
"Hop on kid", he said back.
He scooted up on his giant size riding lawn mower and motioned for me to get on the back. For those of you who know me, you know that there was no hesitation there, so I hopped right on and he skidded away and took me for a little joy ride. He rode along the curb and messed up the same leaves that I messed up by skipping and playing in.
He started laughing and told me to hold on. We both were laughing hysterically!!
He rode me back to where we had met at first. I got off and just stood there in complete awe.
I seriously felt as if God had taken me for a ride, and I know, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that within those stories were gems of truths, not only for him, but for me, right now, in my evolution. It all was reverberating within my soul, and the moment we stopped, I felt it whirling inside of me like a cyclone.
He said, " Howard", and stuck out his hand. I said, "Gabriela", and gave him a huge hug and said "Merry Christmas Howard", and Thank You!
He told me to come down and have coffee with him.
"You know", I said to him, I absolutely will! And..............I WILL!
We kinda held hands for a moment. My two hands, and his two hands, all on top of each other.
It was such an "old" moment in time. Call it karmic, call it what you will...........
He drove off, and I walked away.
My walk home was incredibly heightened, and full of a consciousness that even in this moment, I can't quite describe.
Just like the feeling of a first love, or rather, being in love, whether it be a person, or life, shouting it's glory, just like on a day like today, when it is so incredibly hard to describe the euphoria of what it is to be present, to life and to the extreme subtleties of this vast, and complex world.
The actual feeling doesn't make sense. I think it is too grandiose to put into any kind of word, or phrase, or sentence that would actually give it real justice.
I thought to myself, "I'm going to bring him Christmas dinner". I will be cooking, and will be home, doing what I love most.
It added an extreme joy to my soul, knowing that I would make it, with someone else in mind. Someone who would greatly appreciate a good home cooked meal, made in love. I actually envisioned him opening up the door, seeing me, and having a huge smile on his face, knowing that the girl he traipsed around on his riding lawn mower, goofed up a whole buncha leaves with and told a few war and love stories to, showed up on his door step with some ham and stuffing, some good ol' Italian bread and some other goodies that more than likely, won't be able to name upon first sight.
It made me feel soooooooooooo good.
THIS IS WHAT CHRISTMAS IS TO ME!
So, so innocent.
It isn't about the gift.
It's about BEING the gift.
I am ever so grateful for today. It made, not only my entire evening, but capped off my entire holiday, and has given me a boost, to give more, and more, and more, until I just can't give anymore.
By then, I think love will just have captured me enough as to where there isn't even a label anymore. Notof love, or me, or you, or him..............It will just be the supreme essence of LOVE, ITSELF, and no words will need to be spoken herein after.
Merry Merry Christmas to all of you!
I love you so, so much!
May the peace of this day, and every day following, find it's way to your heart.
Gabriela
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