Since I was a little girl I can remember always thinking how much I loved being around old people. I felt a significant difference inside, being around them, as opposed to maybe going outside and playing with my friends.
Of course, I did go out and play with my friends, and did all of the things that kids do- but I can remember, detail for detail, wondering how and when, the next time would be that I could spend time around them..... you know, the "old" people.
We grow up doing what we are taught, what is shown to us as normal, and rarely, does a kid brake out of that mindset, to uncover what they really want or spend time doing the things that really appeal to them, in fear it will be different or looked down upon. To think freely is almost unacceptable.
In retrospect, I see how I fought for my own individuality, how I constantly ran for "cover" to think those things over, since what I wanted was never what I was actually doing....ever, unless I snuck it.
Kids have struggles. I mean these days, and even then, people are way too busy to listen to your dreams, hear about your visions and thoughts on life. Often times, you know how it goes......... ahhhh, he or she is a kid. No one would ever believe that you have such grand ideas, or deep thoughts about life or what you actually believe in outside of what you are being brought up to believe.
As I got older, I found myself still very much attracted to the elderly, and too, to kids.
I had come to find two beautiful parallels in my desire to stay connected to these two incredibly different persona's, yet so alike, in their way.
They kept my sense of realness alive amidst growing up, in life situations, chaos and struggles.
The elders always had stories to tell, out of honest experience, not just the stereotypical old person with age old stories because they had the time under their belt, but because they just........did....... and were naturally and organically seasoned.
They sat in such solid foundation with a surety about life!
They had that amazing sense of wonder - of innocence, that they had returned to after going through their journey.
The Unlearning of it all!
The coming back to that child like innocence, after all of that time spent "in life" and "with life".
They had returned to the child they once were, only now, they have consciously separated themselves from the "life" part of it.
They now see it for what it is and have decided how unimportant it all is.
They have, come home!
The small child too! From the very beginning.
They are natural wonders, excited at the very idea of going outside, mesmerized by the vibrant colors on the butterfly that just landed on the rock-
A turtle they found- the sounds of crickets at night-the warmth of their covers- the mere look of another human being............... it all starts to unravel.
The learning begins.
Ideas thoughts and programming filter in.
From that time on, it takes a lifetime to re-capture that essence. To see it in it's entirety, at least, as we did as kids, back then.
To live so fully in that awe, that essence of such a grand, grand, love.
It is such a rare moment in time, to actually find someone who nurtures this on a daily or regular basis.
I don't know what I would do without these moments, really, I don't.
It is the only thing that keeps it all real to me. Those moments have become the sacredness of my days. the only thing I really look forward to. Nothing else! Truly!!
It has become such an addiction to be out in nature, to be in that innocence, to be magnetically drawn to certain people who exude this innocence-who have lived enough in life, to know that life isn't all what it seems-that it is just made up of a bunch of facts piled high, like stacks of paper on your desk, ready to be filed.
Life can seem like a job, but we can get off at 5, and even make our own schedules, leaving the necessary time to be ourselves, to go out and play and re-learn what we knew as kids, to nurture that innocence that gets lost along the way.
I'm in! I'm swimming in it, and don't want to come out of it!
I'll do my fair share of homework, but shoot, I never did like school anyway.
All I know is, I'm not waiting till I'm old and grey.
Like today.......skipping down the road by myself. Can't even tell you the looks I got.
I don't care about opinions anymore! Really, I don't!
I know what feels good to the soul.
I hope it all looks cooky, hippie, checked out, and all of the other bold words that TRY to describe someone genuinely in love with life.
There is one word that comes to mind, and I'll end my long blog.
BIRTHRIGHT!
~
Of course, I did go out and play with my friends, and did all of the things that kids do- but I can remember, detail for detail, wondering how and when, the next time would be that I could spend time around them..... you know, the "old" people.
We grow up doing what we are taught, what is shown to us as normal, and rarely, does a kid brake out of that mindset, to uncover what they really want or spend time doing the things that really appeal to them, in fear it will be different or looked down upon. To think freely is almost unacceptable.
In retrospect, I see how I fought for my own individuality, how I constantly ran for "cover" to think those things over, since what I wanted was never what I was actually doing....ever, unless I snuck it.
Kids have struggles. I mean these days, and even then, people are way too busy to listen to your dreams, hear about your visions and thoughts on life. Often times, you know how it goes......... ahhhh, he or she is a kid. No one would ever believe that you have such grand ideas, or deep thoughts about life or what you actually believe in outside of what you are being brought up to believe.
As I got older, I found myself still very much attracted to the elderly, and too, to kids.
I had come to find two beautiful parallels in my desire to stay connected to these two incredibly different persona's, yet so alike, in their way.
They kept my sense of realness alive amidst growing up, in life situations, chaos and struggles.
The elders always had stories to tell, out of honest experience, not just the stereotypical old person with age old stories because they had the time under their belt, but because they just........did....... and were naturally and organically seasoned.
They sat in such solid foundation with a surety about life!
They had that amazing sense of wonder - of innocence, that they had returned to after going through their journey.
The Unlearning of it all!
The coming back to that child like innocence, after all of that time spent "in life" and "with life".
They had returned to the child they once were, only now, they have consciously separated themselves from the "life" part of it.
They now see it for what it is and have decided how unimportant it all is.
They have, come home!
The small child too! From the very beginning.
They are natural wonders, excited at the very idea of going outside, mesmerized by the vibrant colors on the butterfly that just landed on the rock-
A turtle they found- the sounds of crickets at night-the warmth of their covers- the mere look of another human being............... it all starts to unravel.
The learning begins.
Ideas thoughts and programming filter in.
From that time on, it takes a lifetime to re-capture that essence. To see it in it's entirety, at least, as we did as kids, back then.
To live so fully in that awe, that essence of such a grand, grand, love.
It is such a rare moment in time, to actually find someone who nurtures this on a daily or regular basis.
I don't know what I would do without these moments, really, I don't.
It is the only thing that keeps it all real to me. Those moments have become the sacredness of my days. the only thing I really look forward to. Nothing else! Truly!!
It has become such an addiction to be out in nature, to be in that innocence, to be magnetically drawn to certain people who exude this innocence-who have lived enough in life, to know that life isn't all what it seems-that it is just made up of a bunch of facts piled high, like stacks of paper on your desk, ready to be filed.
Life can seem like a job, but we can get off at 5, and even make our own schedules, leaving the necessary time to be ourselves, to go out and play and re-learn what we knew as kids, to nurture that innocence that gets lost along the way.
I'm in! I'm swimming in it, and don't want to come out of it!
I'll do my fair share of homework, but shoot, I never did like school anyway.
All I know is, I'm not waiting till I'm old and grey.
Like today.......skipping down the road by myself. Can't even tell you the looks I got.
I don't care about opinions anymore! Really, I don't!
I know what feels good to the soul.
I hope it all looks cooky, hippie, checked out, and all of the other bold words that TRY to describe someone genuinely in love with life.
There is one word that comes to mind, and I'll end my long blog.
BIRTHRIGHT!
~
No comments:
Post a Comment