.... But then again, I always seem to find them if I find myself on this page.
It is usually like that. I feel so full, so ready to empty my soul of whatever lurks in there...... no matter what it looks like, and tonight, so much is there. I don't know how to name it, nor do I want to, I just know there is something there and it needs to surface in one way or the other.
I have not been logging things on a regular basis. I just decided that when the moment strikes, write! After all, the thing that I love the most about writing is that there is no rhyme or reason, you just write what you want, when you want, and there isn't any right or wrong about it. No one can tell me that what I wrote was wrong, because it is my own individual experience and I share it with no response required.
My time here, alone, and sharing it with individuals who I meet up with have been nothing other than exquisite. Even if it has been a situation where it hasn't seemed "perfect", although we all know there is no situation that is "perfect", I have managed to see things in a better way. A way that will turn the seemingly chaotic and dysfunctional to a lesson and a way to get me to kneel to my funny bone, to see the absurdity of a situation, and to move on with a lightness that makes for a much better road to walk on, rather than an uncertain cobblestone road that we think we can't tread upon.
My life teaches me so much! I do get to see my life in an objective way most times, and sometimes not, and then I love to hear my friend tell me how she sees things and I laugh, and say, "Reallllllllllyyy?"
I always take in certain peoples opinions of how they see things. My friends that have known me forever. It's not to say that everything they see is right on, because often, my ways are taken for a "gabriela thing".
Not so.
I'm pretty straight up.
I like this, I don't like that, and let me try to be fluid in the meantime.
I'm stubborn yes, I like things a certain way, but will never be so stuck as to not budge, ya know?
It's taken me years upon years to come to the place I am now.
I don't want to compromise who I am for anyone or thing.
If I do, I begin to die a slow death.
I want to live a certain lifestyle that I think is worthwhile. It may not be that way for everyone.
That doesn't mean my way is the way. I just see things a certain way for me, just me. That doesn't mean that I think everyone should live that way. That is just for my little evolution here.
I have lived a life from how my mom thought I should live it because she is a mother who has certain values. I always respected them. I have not always agreed with them. We always agreed to disagree, but when it came to seeing things from a Mother's perspective I had to give way. I have never been a mother, at least never having a child. I feel like a mother in every other aspect of my life, leave a child behind.
Come time for me to make my own decisions, I retreated to nature, to animals, to writing.
This is still the place I find myself complete.
When I was 4 I retreated to the woods with my notebook. I stared at the trees, the beautiful autumn leaves, and the dirt that I rode upon with my little Honda 50 motorcycle..... riding to find a comfortable spot outside of the norm....at 4 and 5. I kid you not.
I knew something then. Life spoke to me in big ways and I didn't know what to do with it. All I knew was that I needed to cultivate it. Back then it was more like, " I gotta get back on my mini bike and into the woods.......that was cool as shit!!!"
It wasn't like I literally thought I was on to some spiritual revelation, but I tell you now, I knew, without a shadow of a doubt, that something inside of me was extraordinary and it was going to be a mission of sorts, for me to discover what this "thing" was. I didn't feel special, but I certainly felt different in my alone way. I considered it sacred beyond belief!!!
Early on, I separated myself from the "norm" and was on a self discovery path that I wasn't quite privy to, in a literal sense, but inwardly knew exactly what I was doing with a great sense of purpose.
That certainly wasn't to say that what my peers were doing was wrong. I just felt like a huge observer and laughed quite often at how we, as humans, acted so robotically. It truly wigged me out to see these things early on, and too, to go ahead, with small steps to discover myself within the "norm" and then to step out of the norm. To experience the difference was mind blowing to me and wound up being a sort of quest for me as a young child and adult. I was captivated by life, human nature, and especially the workings of the mind and how it related to me and the world around me.
I hear my brother saying, " It is a BLOG" and it should be one paragraph, and I look at that for a second, and then I say to myself, " Who the F...cares?" Who is to say that a blog equals this or that? Oh, it just goes on and on, with the should and shouldn'ts.
I have always been about who you are and what that looks like, no matter how it "should" look like.
I embrace everyone and how they want to "show up" here. It's intricate guys. We are all here with crazy emotions, a past that more than likely decides half of our future, weather we like it or not, unless we take the bull by the horns and actually MOLD our next half of our lives.
ARE WE?
Friday, December 9, 2011
Saturday, November 19, 2011
RISK MAY INVOLVE FAILURE.... BUT.....
.... IF YOU DON'T GO OUT ON A LIMB, HOW WILL YOU EVER KNOW?
Actually, I am not a firm believer in the word "Failure".
To me, you try something and if it doesn't work you just go to plan B. I guess you can deem it "failure", but that word always seems to have a negative connotation, and "failing" to me is not a negative, it is just a little punch in the arm that says, "hey, let's do this next time and see if this works", and onward you go to see if plan B is going to make "IT" happen.
I remember years ago sitting in my jacuzzi sharing a conversation with someone after my Interior Design business went down, and I went from making 6 figures, having 2 BMW'S, building my own home, traveling the world buying, going and doing as I pleased, to scrambling to make my mortgage, and wondering how I was going to keep this all up. The person in the jacuzzi said to me, "Admit it, YOU HAVE FAILED!!! Go ahead, ADMIT THAT YOU FAILED!!!
It was a really wild moment in time for me. I thought, "WHOA, there is some serious gumption behind that statement", and.... interesting that I would have never looked at my situation as a "failure" but a learning experience and to try things differently the next time.
That statement stayed with me for years, and honestly, I felt bad for the person that said that to me, because I knew that they themselves were in the most frantic state, a non believer in making things happen, and someone who was so accustomed to the norm, which is a regular job, with benefits, and everything you can imagine that would make you "safe and sound" in the world.
It isn't a judgement, just an awareness how we are all different, and how one persons way can seem better than the other.
I say, "stick to what feels right in your heart and soul".
It doesn't feel right for me to stick to the status quo. Not because I am trying to be different, but because I always try to find alternate ways to do exactly what I want to do, to stay in love and in line with whatever that vehicle is, and to have fun along the way. It's stressful like anything else, to try to find out what we love and to stay true to it, especially if it doesn't look in line with what "needs" to happen, doesn't offer much "security" or anything on the list of what "looks good and right" in today's world or economy.
It IS a crap shoot, and I say I am not a gambler, but in this sense, I have to be. I always ask myself, "What is the worst case scenario?". What could possibly happen if you venture off to find out if you like this, or don't like that?"
I will never know unless I push the limits on my own belief systems. Lord knows whatever beliefs I have are for sure limited and old school. All OK, but not for me, for the most part.
I don't like to feel imprisoned by ideas!!
I find my way as if I am walking in the dark at night with a flashlight.
I peek around the corners hoping there is nothing lurking there, but nevertheless, I peek! I go, with the flashlight like a brave little soldier, hoping nothing bites me in the a.......sh tray!
We are all the same on this ride.
We are all afraid.
We are all wondering what lurks on the other side.
We all want solid, concrete answers.
We all want something that is tangible, but the truth is, there are no guarantees, not anywhere at any time.
So, how do we maneuver in the world knowing this as a total TRUTH?
Without hiding from ourselves, how do we move, stay at a peaceful calm, knowing all of life's realities, like it or not, and be OK, and to stay true to what we want and love, even if it is outside of what everyone else is doing?
Where is the balance?
I say, "Do what rings true first and foremost, and see where that takes you". Outside of any kind of ideas of what should or should not be, and see how you feel?
You will be surprised at what shows up for you.
You will probably have to separate your own feelings about how you think your life should be going in order to adhere to a higher Truth, but once you get the gist of how trust works, you will reap the benefits of an amazing consciousness.
No such word as FAILURE.
MOVE AHEAD in the direction you know in your heart will work for you, without any obstacles!!!
This way, I support 500%.
Remember, NEVER A FAILURE IN RISK. NEVER A FAILURE........PERIOD!!!
~
Actually, I am not a firm believer in the word "Failure".
To me, you try something and if it doesn't work you just go to plan B. I guess you can deem it "failure", but that word always seems to have a negative connotation, and "failing" to me is not a negative, it is just a little punch in the arm that says, "hey, let's do this next time and see if this works", and onward you go to see if plan B is going to make "IT" happen.
I remember years ago sitting in my jacuzzi sharing a conversation with someone after my Interior Design business went down, and I went from making 6 figures, having 2 BMW'S, building my own home, traveling the world buying, going and doing as I pleased, to scrambling to make my mortgage, and wondering how I was going to keep this all up. The person in the jacuzzi said to me, "Admit it, YOU HAVE FAILED!!! Go ahead, ADMIT THAT YOU FAILED!!!
It was a really wild moment in time for me. I thought, "WHOA, there is some serious gumption behind that statement", and.... interesting that I would have never looked at my situation as a "failure" but a learning experience and to try things differently the next time.
That statement stayed with me for years, and honestly, I felt bad for the person that said that to me, because I knew that they themselves were in the most frantic state, a non believer in making things happen, and someone who was so accustomed to the norm, which is a regular job, with benefits, and everything you can imagine that would make you "safe and sound" in the world.
It isn't a judgement, just an awareness how we are all different, and how one persons way can seem better than the other.
I say, "stick to what feels right in your heart and soul".
It doesn't feel right for me to stick to the status quo. Not because I am trying to be different, but because I always try to find alternate ways to do exactly what I want to do, to stay in love and in line with whatever that vehicle is, and to have fun along the way. It's stressful like anything else, to try to find out what we love and to stay true to it, especially if it doesn't look in line with what "needs" to happen, doesn't offer much "security" or anything on the list of what "looks good and right" in today's world or economy.
It IS a crap shoot, and I say I am not a gambler, but in this sense, I have to be. I always ask myself, "What is the worst case scenario?". What could possibly happen if you venture off to find out if you like this, or don't like that?"
I will never know unless I push the limits on my own belief systems. Lord knows whatever beliefs I have are for sure limited and old school. All OK, but not for me, for the most part.
I don't like to feel imprisoned by ideas!!
I find my way as if I am walking in the dark at night with a flashlight.
I peek around the corners hoping there is nothing lurking there, but nevertheless, I peek! I go, with the flashlight like a brave little soldier, hoping nothing bites me in the a.......sh tray!
We are all the same on this ride.
We are all afraid.
We are all wondering what lurks on the other side.
We all want solid, concrete answers.
We all want something that is tangible, but the truth is, there are no guarantees, not anywhere at any time.
So, how do we maneuver in the world knowing this as a total TRUTH?
Without hiding from ourselves, how do we move, stay at a peaceful calm, knowing all of life's realities, like it or not, and be OK, and to stay true to what we want and love, even if it is outside of what everyone else is doing?
Where is the balance?
I say, "Do what rings true first and foremost, and see where that takes you". Outside of any kind of ideas of what should or should not be, and see how you feel?
You will be surprised at what shows up for you.
You will probably have to separate your own feelings about how you think your life should be going in order to adhere to a higher Truth, but once you get the gist of how trust works, you will reap the benefits of an amazing consciousness.
No such word as FAILURE.
MOVE AHEAD in the direction you know in your heart will work for you, without any obstacles!!!
This way, I support 500%.
Remember, NEVER A FAILURE IN RISK. NEVER A FAILURE........PERIOD!!!
~
Wednesday, November 9, 2011
TRUE LOVE..AS I SEE IT!
I am proud to say that this month I will be 45. WOW!! Look at that "number", as it IS only a number.
I can say that there has been some pretty great "true loves" in my life. I do have to say though, that as I get older, that definition changes, and as I mature, I see that it is NOT about what we GET from someone, but accepting the whole of someone, and RECEIVING that whole, however that shows up, and practicing TRUE LOVE in being able to step away from the self, and to allow humanness, and altercation, and differences, and to be able to be vulnerable enough to take some punches when you don't feel like taking punches.
To be able to listen without interjection, and to be humble enough to let your stuff out, as if it is going to be hung out on a clothes line, not being sure if it will even be hung out to dry. You just know you are putting yourself out there, wet, hanging, and feeling a bit cold and hard.
You wonder if you will dry OK.
True love doesn't always show up as the "coming home with roses on the table" sort of thing, although, that is always lovely to me. Flowers are a sentiment, and dear to me. Maybe it is the old fashioned girl in me who likes to be courted and sent flowers just because. I'm that way, but then again, I am a mushy kinda girl! Who DOESN'T LOVE flowers?
I am learning that just because I am a softy, it doesn't mean that life or situations will always be soft and the way I like them. It isn't that I didn't know that, but when it comes to love, you kinda hope and wish that things will be this way and that way, and hell.............I am in love so it should show up like THIS. It just isn't that way, and it is not a bad thing. I think we all have our ideas of how that should show up, and the whole picture is set, because who doesn't want their perfect fantasy of love to come true?
But when love shows up at your door, and it doesn't show up when you want, and how you want, you start looking at the age old version of how" romantic love should look", and if it is not happening, you wonder, if you are stuck in a time warp and just have grandiose ideas, or that you are just not caught up with the times that encompass all of the daily stresses, the economy, the reality of time and space, and the humanness of where we are all at in our evolution, take that all into consideration, and find the TRUE LOVE within all those REAL LIFE situations and begin a new way of looking at how to love, without a fixed idea of how things should go or not go.
Love is so beautiful to me. Love, TRUE LOVE, does not equal the three times a week MUST that we should have the big O. I mean, seriously, let's get a grip!!! Half the time I hear people say, "Oh yeah, we have it at least 5 times a week", I'm thinkin' ... Oh, go right ahead.....have fun! Hope you had a conversation or two that week.
Oh god, I'm sorry. I am so crazy when it comes to all of this. Kind of like the, "Honey, why don't you wear lace anymore for me", statement. "Because, honey, the honeymoon DOES IN FACT END, and the fact of the matter is, I LOVE WEARING BOXER SHORTS OK?"
I want fun and spontaneity, love and compassion, to be listened to and to listen, to understand and to be understood as much as possible. I know that being understood is almost impossible as we are all eclectic human beings with a mysticism about us and we cannot all be understood, ever. I KNOW THIS. The human mind and soul can never be truly understood. And that is OK. It is that beautiful thing where you just sit back, as if at an art opening, and watch someone, without having to understand their ways, and revel in their eccentricity and not have to know all of the whys and how's but appreciate what is before you.
Maybe I am boiling this all down to TRUE LOVE IS....ALLOWING??
I don't know, I am on this ride like you are reading this.
I write as it flows through my soul.
It's the very thing I love about writing.
No one can tell me if it is right or wrong. It is here, inside of me, I listen, I write, and I allow it all to flow onto these blank pages.
I learn as I go.
So amazingly precious to me, honestly!!
Today, I feel like a baby learning how to love and how to be open, and to allow myself to be vulnerable again.
We all have been hurt before and I am not a believer in allowing our past to dictate our present moments, or future.
I think we have the ability to heal ourselves through prayer and meditation and the willingness to be open time and time again, because not one situation is the same.
I do not want to walk around like a suit of armor, fighting off anything that may seem of "harm" or of a danger to my heart.
I would never want to miss out on any beauty that life has to offer because I have been scorned in the past.
I think life is "scorning" in general, and so if I go by that reality, I will know to love that much more.
People are deserving of our presence. The here and now with them. Not the past that we dredge up, because we are afraid of being hurt again.
"In life honey, we get hurt, that is the reality of it", says my mother before she passed. "It's not a bad thing, it's just the reality of life"." We love, and we get hurt, but NEVER, EVER, STOP LOVING". I live by my mothers words. I listen so intently from a woman who has been hurt over and over again. She NEVER stopped loving ANYONE who had "hurt" her.
So, I never was interested in getting my PH.D, but if there were any subject that I would like to master over, it is that of LOVE.
I always want to be allowing, and loving, and present!!! I want to listen, and listen closely with no interruption.
I want my love to be my only love, and create something so different and bold that, to me, will shatter glass.
Allow people to see the beauty in a TRUE LOVE, that stretches beyond ideas, and beyond the norm.
There is a formula that I keep to myself, and when the moment presents itself, I want to unveil this phenomenon and see if not only myself, but the one who I invite in will cherish the 4th of July the rest of the 364 days that remain.
I giggle at my own revelations, and too, feel charmed by a life that makes me sick, and mad, and all at the same time, utterly grateful for my very existence here.
What a wild, wild ride. That fantastical magic carpet ride beckons me, every last second of my days.
I'll never veer from that ride, for it is the ride of a god damn lifetime!!
Thank you for all of my moments in this wondrous, wondrous life!
Before you know it, it will all be over and I do know for sure, that I would have been grateful!!!
Pissed some people off, but nevertheless, extremely grateful!!!
I love you, as you so well know.
Gabriela
Tuesday, November 8, 2011
FOOD AS TREATMENT... NOT A DRUG!
This subject is alarming, sad, understandable to a degree, and so complex, that it has driven me to stay up late nights with my night light on, reading and researching, writing my own hypothesis on what it all means.
I do personal training and nutritional consulting for a living.
I am not, by any means, a fad diet girl. Not one person gets the same diet. I mean why?? We are all different, have different body types, different age groups, male to female, oohhh god, I mean the list goes on. It makes me wince to hear of a "regular diet plan" for one person. I mean, in a big way!!! I want to say STOP IT! PLEASE, JUST STOP IT!!
Does anyone take into consideration, the history of an individual? Their particular circumstances, likes, dislikes, allergies, etc...?
I know that many people DO, DO THIS. But I have seen over the years by working with many professional naturopaths, Md's and practictioners, that they get lazy! They use a certain protocol and see that it works and then they use it on everyone, in hopes that it will do some sort of good, AND, make them money to cover the costs of the huge inventory they just bought to supply just a few of their clientele.
This, to me, is alarming, but real, and it happens all over, all of the time.
I want my clients to be able to relate to me, to what I have to share as not only food for the soul, but food for thought, to be able to learn what it is that I may know, and to take it with them, daily, to be able to go to the grocery store without me, to be able to learn how to choose foods, supplements, learn how to read labels, and to be able to discern right from wrong, for their particular bodies, and to feel good walking out, knowing that they will be eating good satisfying foods, that are tailored to their bodies, to their lifestyle and that it will undoubedly keep them on the mark so that when they show up for their regular exam, the doctor shouts out, "Holy Mackeral, WHAT HAVE YOU BEEN DOING?" You look amazing and your charts are off the rictor scale!!!
I don't need any kind of accolades, truly! The proof is in the pudding, and many of my clients can tell you, the fact that they just listened, and didn't have any say in the equation, was no sweat off of their back, and was actually less stressful because they trusted me, and let me do my thing.
There is nothing I love more than a challenge, and boy, have I been challenged, but nothing is out of my reach or out of my control, yet, that would not let me prove my stance on how I partake in diving into someones body, and what it needs, when and how.
There are some simple structures that I have people adhere to, generally, but then it gets extremely specific.
It sounds so noble, so 2011 that one be Vegan or Vegetarian. OK, it is a fabulous start, but IS THIS FOR EVERYONE?
This is where the detective work comes in.
I DO BELIEVE THAT A DIET BASED IN WHOLE FOODS such as vegetables, fruits and legumes are great, but then add dairy, meat products, and eggs. This is where the line starts to get fragmented and we see that what may be good for the Goose, may not be good for the Gander.
Mind you, this is just my own tiny philosophy.
I am still a student, learning and discovering, studying, researching and finding my own truths in this hip and oh so age old concept.
It's like someone who can sit for hours doing crossword puzzles. It takes a total concentration. But once you sit long enough you figure it out and see that x equals y and it fits like a glove.
OOOHHHHH, like the last line of a poem. Don't get me started now!!!
I do believe that wherever you are in your evolution, you can instill these basic beliefs so that they can bring you back to a sense of yourself, FOR YOURSELF, so that you do not have to rely on outside forces to help you stay healthy, and to overcome addictions or fears, or the whole list of things that come up for all of us that we all want to go to the nearest shelf and grab some pill that will make it all better.
THOSE THINGS WILL NEVER MAKE IT ALL BETTER!
I can tell you that from experience.
Coming back to a whole foods diet, practicing daily breathing, daily meditation, and regular excersise, is not just a fad or Hollywood way of looking to be fit and trim. It is the stuff that works.
Over the years I have formulated my own program of the how's and what's that work, and if we keep a regular regime of these things, it will constitute great behaviour, amazing gains in your spiritual evolution, and in your daily realm of stress or no stress.
It doesn't really take much, but a consistency of instilling one, to two, or three behaviors that will keep you aligned inside, and be able to deal with the muck out there.
Trim down the fatty foods. Google low fat or vegetarian recipes. Find out what workouts seem interesting to you and make a move. Share this with your kids and family.
Instead of grabbing the remote control, grab your kids hands and lead them to their bikes, and you get on yours. Go for a 30 minute ride and come back and grill some chicken and steam some vegetables.
There is transition with everything so start by having the willingness ok?
Anything further ask me. I can help.
If you are feeling a certain way, ask why?
Let's figure it out, instead of going to Doctor down the road who is just doing what he knows because he has been taught that.
Start taking responsibility for your health and take as much interest as you do in logging on to Facebook everyday. I am sure you will come up with some pretty solid answers.
I will continue to help and to guide us all along.
I promise you that!!
~
I do personal training and nutritional consulting for a living.
I am not, by any means, a fad diet girl. Not one person gets the same diet. I mean why?? We are all different, have different body types, different age groups, male to female, oohhh god, I mean the list goes on. It makes me wince to hear of a "regular diet plan" for one person. I mean, in a big way!!! I want to say STOP IT! PLEASE, JUST STOP IT!!
Does anyone take into consideration, the history of an individual? Their particular circumstances, likes, dislikes, allergies, etc...?
I know that many people DO, DO THIS. But I have seen over the years by working with many professional naturopaths, Md's and practictioners, that they get lazy! They use a certain protocol and see that it works and then they use it on everyone, in hopes that it will do some sort of good, AND, make them money to cover the costs of the huge inventory they just bought to supply just a few of their clientele.
This, to me, is alarming, but real, and it happens all over, all of the time.
I want my clients to be able to relate to me, to what I have to share as not only food for the soul, but food for thought, to be able to learn what it is that I may know, and to take it with them, daily, to be able to go to the grocery store without me, to be able to learn how to choose foods, supplements, learn how to read labels, and to be able to discern right from wrong, for their particular bodies, and to feel good walking out, knowing that they will be eating good satisfying foods, that are tailored to their bodies, to their lifestyle and that it will undoubedly keep them on the mark so that when they show up for their regular exam, the doctor shouts out, "Holy Mackeral, WHAT HAVE YOU BEEN DOING?" You look amazing and your charts are off the rictor scale!!!
I don't need any kind of accolades, truly! The proof is in the pudding, and many of my clients can tell you, the fact that they just listened, and didn't have any say in the equation, was no sweat off of their back, and was actually less stressful because they trusted me, and let me do my thing.
There is nothing I love more than a challenge, and boy, have I been challenged, but nothing is out of my reach or out of my control, yet, that would not let me prove my stance on how I partake in diving into someones body, and what it needs, when and how.
There are some simple structures that I have people adhere to, generally, but then it gets extremely specific.
It sounds so noble, so 2011 that one be Vegan or Vegetarian. OK, it is a fabulous start, but IS THIS FOR EVERYONE?
This is where the detective work comes in.
I DO BELIEVE THAT A DIET BASED IN WHOLE FOODS such as vegetables, fruits and legumes are great, but then add dairy, meat products, and eggs. This is where the line starts to get fragmented and we see that what may be good for the Goose, may not be good for the Gander.
Mind you, this is just my own tiny philosophy.
I am still a student, learning and discovering, studying, researching and finding my own truths in this hip and oh so age old concept.
It's like someone who can sit for hours doing crossword puzzles. It takes a total concentration. But once you sit long enough you figure it out and see that x equals y and it fits like a glove.
OOOHHHHH, like the last line of a poem. Don't get me started now!!!
I do believe that wherever you are in your evolution, you can instill these basic beliefs so that they can bring you back to a sense of yourself, FOR YOURSELF, so that you do not have to rely on outside forces to help you stay healthy, and to overcome addictions or fears, or the whole list of things that come up for all of us that we all want to go to the nearest shelf and grab some pill that will make it all better.
THOSE THINGS WILL NEVER MAKE IT ALL BETTER!
I can tell you that from experience.
Coming back to a whole foods diet, practicing daily breathing, daily meditation, and regular excersise, is not just a fad or Hollywood way of looking to be fit and trim. It is the stuff that works.
Over the years I have formulated my own program of the how's and what's that work, and if we keep a regular regime of these things, it will constitute great behaviour, amazing gains in your spiritual evolution, and in your daily realm of stress or no stress.
It doesn't really take much, but a consistency of instilling one, to two, or three behaviors that will keep you aligned inside, and be able to deal with the muck out there.
Trim down the fatty foods. Google low fat or vegetarian recipes. Find out what workouts seem interesting to you and make a move. Share this with your kids and family.
Instead of grabbing the remote control, grab your kids hands and lead them to their bikes, and you get on yours. Go for a 30 minute ride and come back and grill some chicken and steam some vegetables.
There is transition with everything so start by having the willingness ok?
Anything further ask me. I can help.
If you are feeling a certain way, ask why?
Let's figure it out, instead of going to Doctor down the road who is just doing what he knows because he has been taught that.
Start taking responsibility for your health and take as much interest as you do in logging on to Facebook everyday. I am sure you will come up with some pretty solid answers.
I will continue to help and to guide us all along.
I promise you that!!
~
Tuesday, November 1, 2011
NUTHIN LAST FOR LONG.........
So, the Joni Mitchell song goes....... and so this blog goes out to a beautiful soul who was loved by many, who took her life and made the decision that it was her time to go in this lifetime.
From early on I have experienced a lot of suicide, unfortunately!
In the 8th grade my best friends father committed suicide by hanging himself in the house. I went through this experience with her and it completely traumatized she, her mother and her sister. They were to be "watched out for" in the following years. I stayed close and never, ever, could grasp the enormity of what they had gone through. My family stayed with them and I was always stunned, really, at the amount of positivity that they had embraced. Just the amount of bravery that had come with such trauma.
Theresa was my best friend. Her father was her idol. She was left with this to deal with for the rest of her life. Her mother was my mother's best friend. It was a wild, wild experience for me as a teen, and for my mother, as an adult, witnessing such trauma from someone she had loved so much.
I could write stories amongst stories, but to shorten things, later on in life, as we all aged, and had moved on in our lives, I woke one morning to a phone call from my mother. She was reluctant to tell me the news she had.
My best friend for years and years, decided, later on on life, when everyone thought she was happy and had her first child, that she wanted to exit life in the same fashion that her Daddy decided to go. She hung herself in her garage.
It hit me so hard, like going full force into a brick wall.
The very thing that was so devastating to her as a child, she wound up doing to herself, and to her family.
I write this tonight, not only being reminded of Theresa, my dear beloved friend, who I spent so many gorgeous times with, happy and sad, but to a friend of my friend, who just recently took her life.
Many people have judgements on these individuals. I DO NOT!
I understand the complexities of the mind, how it can trip you up, and also, if you do not do what is necessary to nip things in the bud, how it will seem that life is unmanageable!
I almost feel as if my words are inadequate, for I really have no reference point in this area, to ever want to take my life with all of the chaos that has entered into my world.
I have purposefully put myself in that situation, as a visual, to be able to understand the extreme mindset of those individuals, and I can tell you honestly, I GET IT, but have always found refuge in my "God", or whatever it is that saves me daily, from a mindset that is so destructive.
I will not say, for myself, that this life is easy. I WILL NOT! But for some reason, with all of my frailties, and my misfortunes, I have found a greater sense of something. I don't even need to label it really. It's a blessing beyond my comprehension, that is all I know!
I have been blessed with something that has worked in my favor.
This blog is for Angela. May she rest in a peace that is coming to her.
For some reason, she was in enough pain and wanted a way out. Bless her heart now and always.
Please do not judge these individuals who have made certain decisions.
It does not make them "bad people, or souls".
Let it teach us about courage, about fear, and how we can overcome any obstacles, how faith is our best friend, and that in times of complete despair, we can reach out and cry for help, and you WILL GET IT!!
Please, although you do not know this soul, say a prayer for her, that she makes it to a comfort zone, somehow, wherever that may be, and that she will be loved, no matter what, and taken to the next level of her understanding here on this ever so gracious earth we live on.
May I never complain, or worry about the petty things that come my way.
I know in my heart of hearts, that I have been given the key to life, and to NOT adhere to those simple things will lead my mind to the same destruction.
It is up to me to participate in a healthy life that allows me to see my crap, to make a move in the direction of clearing it out, and to taking responsibility for what needs to happen next.
We live in a completely luxurious world.
Don't settle for the dark night of the soul!
There is so much more.
Sweet prayers for those who have chosen differently. I embrace you all and give you love like nobodies business.
I am an open vessel.
You are loved.
Goodnight.
Gabriela
From early on I have experienced a lot of suicide, unfortunately!
In the 8th grade my best friends father committed suicide by hanging himself in the house. I went through this experience with her and it completely traumatized she, her mother and her sister. They were to be "watched out for" in the following years. I stayed close and never, ever, could grasp the enormity of what they had gone through. My family stayed with them and I was always stunned, really, at the amount of positivity that they had embraced. Just the amount of bravery that had come with such trauma.
Theresa was my best friend. Her father was her idol. She was left with this to deal with for the rest of her life. Her mother was my mother's best friend. It was a wild, wild experience for me as a teen, and for my mother, as an adult, witnessing such trauma from someone she had loved so much.
I could write stories amongst stories, but to shorten things, later on in life, as we all aged, and had moved on in our lives, I woke one morning to a phone call from my mother. She was reluctant to tell me the news she had.
My best friend for years and years, decided, later on on life, when everyone thought she was happy and had her first child, that she wanted to exit life in the same fashion that her Daddy decided to go. She hung herself in her garage.
It hit me so hard, like going full force into a brick wall.
The very thing that was so devastating to her as a child, she wound up doing to herself, and to her family.
I write this tonight, not only being reminded of Theresa, my dear beloved friend, who I spent so many gorgeous times with, happy and sad, but to a friend of my friend, who just recently took her life.
Many people have judgements on these individuals. I DO NOT!
I understand the complexities of the mind, how it can trip you up, and also, if you do not do what is necessary to nip things in the bud, how it will seem that life is unmanageable!
I almost feel as if my words are inadequate, for I really have no reference point in this area, to ever want to take my life with all of the chaos that has entered into my world.
I have purposefully put myself in that situation, as a visual, to be able to understand the extreme mindset of those individuals, and I can tell you honestly, I GET IT, but have always found refuge in my "God", or whatever it is that saves me daily, from a mindset that is so destructive.
I will not say, for myself, that this life is easy. I WILL NOT! But for some reason, with all of my frailties, and my misfortunes, I have found a greater sense of something. I don't even need to label it really. It's a blessing beyond my comprehension, that is all I know!
I have been blessed with something that has worked in my favor.
This blog is for Angela. May she rest in a peace that is coming to her.
For some reason, she was in enough pain and wanted a way out. Bless her heart now and always.
Please do not judge these individuals who have made certain decisions.
It does not make them "bad people, or souls".
Let it teach us about courage, about fear, and how we can overcome any obstacles, how faith is our best friend, and that in times of complete despair, we can reach out and cry for help, and you WILL GET IT!!
Please, although you do not know this soul, say a prayer for her, that she makes it to a comfort zone, somehow, wherever that may be, and that she will be loved, no matter what, and taken to the next level of her understanding here on this ever so gracious earth we live on.
May I never complain, or worry about the petty things that come my way.
I know in my heart of hearts, that I have been given the key to life, and to NOT adhere to those simple things will lead my mind to the same destruction.
It is up to me to participate in a healthy life that allows me to see my crap, to make a move in the direction of clearing it out, and to taking responsibility for what needs to happen next.
We live in a completely luxurious world.
Don't settle for the dark night of the soul!
There is so much more.
Sweet prayers for those who have chosen differently. I embrace you all and give you love like nobodies business.
I am an open vessel.
You are loved.
Goodnight.
Gabriela
Monday, October 31, 2011
DYING JUST A LITTLE BIT MORE...EVERYDAY!
This is not a somber statement, by any means! You have no idea how fortunate I feel to even make that statement, and get it!! Really get it!!
I've done all kinds of seeking since I was a child. Seeking to find out who I am, what this life is about, and to discover what the "answer" to "IT" really is. You know, the REAL purpose to this life.
I have been in many spiritual settings, followed spiritual teachers, took vows of silence, curled up for months and months with no communication with the outside world, just reading, and being quiet, contemplating life, studying nature, listening closely to my intuition, to that ever so small voice inside that gets neglected amongst daily life, unless we carve out specific time to let it be known, the great teacher that it is.
I study the art of relationship. I love the beauty of relationship, and too, can see why we all falter and want to run for the hills, with the knowing of our past, our boxes of crap that we have lugged along the way, not knowing what to do with it all except to say, "This has been my life", It is what it is.
Yes, you are right. It is what it is!! But how do we use this information? It is integral, to me. I have never been one to close my eyes on life, what it offers and what it means to me specifically.
The thing is, there is no "right way". You take from life what means most, what feels right, and rings true in your soul.
Just because Buddhism sounds great, and is almost a hip thing these days, doesn't mean it is for you. Just because you grew up a Christian, doesn't mean you are a "Christian".
You are YOU!!
A person with a mind of his or her own who can pick and choose what feels right, what makes your heart sing and what makes you come alive in your days. This to me, has NO label. Call it what you want, IF you NEED to have a label for it, or yourself.
I have no label for myself.
I am me, who loves!
I love people, I love nature beyond belief, I love animals like crazy, I love silence, I love questioning my existence, I love helping people.
Doesn't it sound silly to put a religious label on that?
Seriously!!!???
I am me.
Label-less!!
Today I went to my sacred spot at the lake. At times I say I am not going to go because there is this and that to do, but I am compelled to go and I put my back pack on and go.
Sometimes I go by myself and I swim for hours. Quietly, methodically, aware of my breath, my exquisite surroundings, and the awareness that this truly IS A GIFT that has been given to me.
I stay there for hours. I do my work out, I do a bit of yoga, and sometimes just sit there in awe of what is before me. I mean it just takes me away. The suppleness of the water, the birds flying overhead, the bird calls, the sound of the rippling waves against the rocks, the turtles bobbing their little heads above water, my dogs, if they are with me, being the innocent creatures that they are, jumping in the lake, fetching sticks, following me on my swim, wondering when, oh when, will I head to shore. It is beyond precious to me, I have to tell you!
Usually when I go I swim out to this dock that is quite a ways out there. It has been my guide post for a lap. Mind you, I have never been much of a swimmer, but for the last few years I have taken on swimming in such a way that has enraptured me. It has taken on a new meaning in my life and has given me a different perspective on my breath, my aliveness, my presence or non presence in my life, and the ability to stay crystal clear with every breath so that, literally, I do not "sink".
For the last two weeks I have gone out there and have had several experiences, all in which had the same nuance.
One day, it was quite windy, and part of me knew I shouldn't have gone in for my long swim. I went anyway. Half way in, the waves were coming up to my face, I was swallowing water, and fear set in. I was in the middle of the lake and I was terrified. I literally saw my whole life before me. I swam so hard and fast and called out to the heavens above to not make this my last go round'. It really was if this was my last moment in time.
I can't hardly articulate what had transpired in those moments, but for that short period, until I made it to the dock, I was transformed in ways I will not be able to explain.
Since then, I have been just a little bit afraid to go the full length of the swim I normally take on. Even when I took my client on her normal routine, I asked if she only wanted to go half way and back and the we would just double up the laps.
One day she said, "Naaa, let's just go". I said, "OK".
The whole way I said prayers that I would not hyperventilate and lose it in the middle of the lake.
I concentrated on my breath, and made it fine. I still had epiphany after epiphany.
My life is moment to moment, and this is a huge reality to me.
Once you are faced with that fear, it becomes a crucial reality. Our lives are like this!
We can die at any moment!!!
I so wish I could articulate the things that I saw and experienced swimming toward that dock, thinking that I was going to die!
Obviously I made it to shore. I cried when I got back and sat there looking around me. Looking at everything..... as if I saw it for the very first time.
This equals meditation for me, which is why I actually felt OK at one point, if this were to be my last time, my last moments here.
I thought of my love, how I have given it, if it was/is pure, how I live my daily life, if it is parallel to my way of thinking, how I see life, in all of my individual ways, if I am actually living those beliefs against the "norm" of society, if I have mended things where mending is due.
Life! Compartmentalized! Now! Right here! Face to face!
I sat for a bit and tried to digest the enormity of what had transpired.
No words.
I walked home, and ever since then, I have carried that reality with me, and everyday that I go to the lake, with every stroke I take, I still feel the fear, but also feel the gratitude of my moments, more so than ever, embrace the simplicity of what I love and carry out in my days, with no guilt for what that looks like, and move on in a newborn consciousness that I just cannot deny.
We are truly dying every moment here in our lives. Dying to ideas, dying to time, dying to what we think needs to be.
I am so grateful to die to ideas, of how I think my life should go or not go.
I do have to tell you though. These moments of clarity do not come with going out to dinners, watching TV, having a bunch of noise on 24/7, keeping busy and up with the Joneses.
As much time as I have alone, it takes me being razor, razor sharp, to hear, to understand, and to apply the things that I think are imperative to living a whole and honest life that will help to heal, to give, and to embrace the integrity of my being here, for whatever that means for me and for you.
All I know is that time is of the essence, I have things that are good and sweet, to give and to share. I also know that the depths of my soul are constantly crying out to find the deeper meaning, no matter how that shows up.
It may show up through the birds, through the sunset, through the morning dew....through you reading this blog. I don't know. The simple fact is, I will never know.
What I do know is that it WILL always show up. It HAS TO in my world. It's what I crave, what I need and what is so necessary for us to FEEL ALIVE!!
I say, "Dare to die just a little bit everyday". Die to ideas, die to how you think things should go, die to labels, die to anything outside of this very moment that pulls you away from the most organic experience you could ever experience in this lifetime.
Dare to not be anyone but the one who is reading this in this moment, and no one after that.
Die.... right now.......... and live in a blazing consciousness that will reveal itself as you let it.
You will not be disappointed, I promise you that!
I have no reason to want to "sway your thoughts" one way or the other.
I am just a passionate soul who will always express her thoughts.
Never a right or wrong.
Thank you for reading and listening.
I am ever so grateful!
Gabriela ~
I've done all kinds of seeking since I was a child. Seeking to find out who I am, what this life is about, and to discover what the "answer" to "IT" really is. You know, the REAL purpose to this life.
I have been in many spiritual settings, followed spiritual teachers, took vows of silence, curled up for months and months with no communication with the outside world, just reading, and being quiet, contemplating life, studying nature, listening closely to my intuition, to that ever so small voice inside that gets neglected amongst daily life, unless we carve out specific time to let it be known, the great teacher that it is.
I study the art of relationship. I love the beauty of relationship, and too, can see why we all falter and want to run for the hills, with the knowing of our past, our boxes of crap that we have lugged along the way, not knowing what to do with it all except to say, "This has been my life", It is what it is.
Yes, you are right. It is what it is!! But how do we use this information? It is integral, to me. I have never been one to close my eyes on life, what it offers and what it means to me specifically.
The thing is, there is no "right way". You take from life what means most, what feels right, and rings true in your soul.
Just because Buddhism sounds great, and is almost a hip thing these days, doesn't mean it is for you. Just because you grew up a Christian, doesn't mean you are a "Christian".
You are YOU!!
A person with a mind of his or her own who can pick and choose what feels right, what makes your heart sing and what makes you come alive in your days. This to me, has NO label. Call it what you want, IF you NEED to have a label for it, or yourself.
I have no label for myself.
I am me, who loves!
I love people, I love nature beyond belief, I love animals like crazy, I love silence, I love questioning my existence, I love helping people.
Doesn't it sound silly to put a religious label on that?
Seriously!!!???
I am me.
Label-less!!
Today I went to my sacred spot at the lake. At times I say I am not going to go because there is this and that to do, but I am compelled to go and I put my back pack on and go.
Sometimes I go by myself and I swim for hours. Quietly, methodically, aware of my breath, my exquisite surroundings, and the awareness that this truly IS A GIFT that has been given to me.
I stay there for hours. I do my work out, I do a bit of yoga, and sometimes just sit there in awe of what is before me. I mean it just takes me away. The suppleness of the water, the birds flying overhead, the bird calls, the sound of the rippling waves against the rocks, the turtles bobbing their little heads above water, my dogs, if they are with me, being the innocent creatures that they are, jumping in the lake, fetching sticks, following me on my swim, wondering when, oh when, will I head to shore. It is beyond precious to me, I have to tell you!
Usually when I go I swim out to this dock that is quite a ways out there. It has been my guide post for a lap. Mind you, I have never been much of a swimmer, but for the last few years I have taken on swimming in such a way that has enraptured me. It has taken on a new meaning in my life and has given me a different perspective on my breath, my aliveness, my presence or non presence in my life, and the ability to stay crystal clear with every breath so that, literally, I do not "sink".
For the last two weeks I have gone out there and have had several experiences, all in which had the same nuance.
One day, it was quite windy, and part of me knew I shouldn't have gone in for my long swim. I went anyway. Half way in, the waves were coming up to my face, I was swallowing water, and fear set in. I was in the middle of the lake and I was terrified. I literally saw my whole life before me. I swam so hard and fast and called out to the heavens above to not make this my last go round'. It really was if this was my last moment in time.
I can't hardly articulate what had transpired in those moments, but for that short period, until I made it to the dock, I was transformed in ways I will not be able to explain.
Since then, I have been just a little bit afraid to go the full length of the swim I normally take on. Even when I took my client on her normal routine, I asked if she only wanted to go half way and back and the we would just double up the laps.
One day she said, "Naaa, let's just go". I said, "OK".
The whole way I said prayers that I would not hyperventilate and lose it in the middle of the lake.
I concentrated on my breath, and made it fine. I still had epiphany after epiphany.
My life is moment to moment, and this is a huge reality to me.
Once you are faced with that fear, it becomes a crucial reality. Our lives are like this!
We can die at any moment!!!
I so wish I could articulate the things that I saw and experienced swimming toward that dock, thinking that I was going to die!
Obviously I made it to shore. I cried when I got back and sat there looking around me. Looking at everything..... as if I saw it for the very first time.
This equals meditation for me, which is why I actually felt OK at one point, if this were to be my last time, my last moments here.
I thought of my love, how I have given it, if it was/is pure, how I live my daily life, if it is parallel to my way of thinking, how I see life, in all of my individual ways, if I am actually living those beliefs against the "norm" of society, if I have mended things where mending is due.
Life! Compartmentalized! Now! Right here! Face to face!
I sat for a bit and tried to digest the enormity of what had transpired.
No words.
I walked home, and ever since then, I have carried that reality with me, and everyday that I go to the lake, with every stroke I take, I still feel the fear, but also feel the gratitude of my moments, more so than ever, embrace the simplicity of what I love and carry out in my days, with no guilt for what that looks like, and move on in a newborn consciousness that I just cannot deny.
We are truly dying every moment here in our lives. Dying to ideas, dying to time, dying to what we think needs to be.
I am so grateful to die to ideas, of how I think my life should go or not go.
I do have to tell you though. These moments of clarity do not come with going out to dinners, watching TV, having a bunch of noise on 24/7, keeping busy and up with the Joneses.
As much time as I have alone, it takes me being razor, razor sharp, to hear, to understand, and to apply the things that I think are imperative to living a whole and honest life that will help to heal, to give, and to embrace the integrity of my being here, for whatever that means for me and for you.
All I know is that time is of the essence, I have things that are good and sweet, to give and to share. I also know that the depths of my soul are constantly crying out to find the deeper meaning, no matter how that shows up.
It may show up through the birds, through the sunset, through the morning dew....through you reading this blog. I don't know. The simple fact is, I will never know.
What I do know is that it WILL always show up. It HAS TO in my world. It's what I crave, what I need and what is so necessary for us to FEEL ALIVE!!
I say, "Dare to die just a little bit everyday". Die to ideas, die to how you think things should go, die to labels, die to anything outside of this very moment that pulls you away from the most organic experience you could ever experience in this lifetime.
Dare to not be anyone but the one who is reading this in this moment, and no one after that.
Die.... right now.......... and live in a blazing consciousness that will reveal itself as you let it.
You will not be disappointed, I promise you that!
I have no reason to want to "sway your thoughts" one way or the other.
I am just a passionate soul who will always express her thoughts.
Never a right or wrong.
Thank you for reading and listening.
I am ever so grateful!
Gabriela ~
Saturday, October 29, 2011
WHY OH WHY.. IS IT SO HARD TO STOP?
Wake up. Brush your teeth. Take a shower. Make coffee. Feed the animals. Turn on the news, or not, go for a walk, go to work, toil, toil, toil. eat lunch.... toil, toil, toil.... the hour hits. We are "free". Drive home. Anticipating what is next. Get home. Toil, toil, toil. Make dinner, clean up, watch the news, visit with a friend, do laundry, get ready for the next day... toil, toil..... until.........
brush your teeth, look at yourself..... wonder for a second, if THIS is REALLY ......IT!!!
Toil, toil... crawl into bed.....maybe read.....maybe not........ dream...... or not......... toss and turn......... who knows really...... it changes from time to time, doesn't it?
Who REALLY knows what the next moment, hour, day, or week will bring???
Life is fickle. It really is. It's nature is to be fickle. I can't change it, so I have to swing with it.
It's like someone who is moody. You can't change it, but find ways in which to swing with it.
In today's world, if you cannot get creative in your outlook on life, and things, I think you will either be consciously dead, or you will die of anxiety or a heart attack, acting as if you are surprised at life, and what it offers, much to your dismay, and be the one who has been stricken with something.
Please don't misread my writings.
Some things happen and are out of our hands. I get that. I honestly do. I do think though, that we have a huge responsibility in our evolvement and healing. Not many of us are privy to this, or even have any kind of resource to connect to. When we have an issue or when we are ill, we fret and head immediately to the doctor.
I don't find it often that when one finds out a certain piece of information, that they head straight for their meditation chair, to take personal inventory on what may or may not be happening for them, or in their tiny little nuclease of a world. I think it is an immediate fight or flight situation. Understandable!
There is another way, I promise you that!
God, it is so difficult to say that there are things that will help us along without making it sound like there is one way, and one way only. I do not believe in that.
I believe in self discovery, and however that shows up for you, wonderful. If it feels right and conducive, than yeahhh, cool. Another outlet and piece to the puzzle on your journey in this little intricate life.
Self discovery is different for everyone.
I don't care if you are in this program or that program, the list certainly goes on. Atheist, pagan, christian, Buddhist, non believer, this that or the other thing. I DO NOT JUDGE YOU. I have been across the board.
We are all trying to get to the same place. If you want to do a thousand hail Mary's, go ahead...... if you want to chant the word of God, please do...... if you want to let the whisper of the wind guide you, bless your heart..... whatever it is........... if it brings you peace of heart and mind....... there you go!!!!
That is for you, and I am there.
I realized this as I was in the ICU unit with my mother, as it was her last days.
She couldn't move really. Lucky we got her to a chair when my sister and the woman who came to do communion and prayer sat there to receive.
It was a blazing moment for me in my own evolution.
I was there for my mom, and knowing she wanted this for her, and so did my sister.
I have had my own spiritual beliefs for many years. It was never really talked about.
I sat there and watched the woman say her prayers to my mother and my sister, give them communion, and then she looked at me, and waited to see what I wanted to do. I quietly said thank you, and acknowledged her being, her way, and her way in which she imparted beauty and reality into my sister and my mother.
I realized in that moment that it was OK to have a different belief system, but to send healing and love and forgiveness and so many other words that would take me all night to describe,to my mother, that would equal, to me, the same message, the same prayer, and the same healing properties as if I had held those beads, and said the same prayer that was shared while I was quiet.
It was a definite moment in time in my life, as an adult woman, a daughter, a disciple of life, and as a sister/friend who had shared a lifetime of wonders and contemplations.
There it was. A stopping!
A real, true, STOPPING.
Had I never stopped before?
Had I always been this sort of robot in my life where things come up and you just quickly deal with them to get past the emotion and once you hurdled over that, you were good, until the next situation presented itself?
It has been 4 years since my mother has passed and I don't think I have digested the enormity of the teachings. The magnitude of love, of how to surrender to the present moments in my life. To be able to consciously make a cut off point from insanity to an insane kind of reality where you embrace the obscure, the indefinite, and make it all a part of a reality that IS REAL, and is part of what is happening, and make good with it all.
IT IS IMPERATIVE that you take time for yourself. Time to reflect, time to get a grip on where you are, and with whom, and to make good where good needs to be met.
Life is seductive!!
It WILL entrance you!
I know we are all human, in all of our frailties, and god bless us all, really... on this crazy trek, but know one thing. If we act honestly, give freely, with no expectations, and risk everything for a free way of living and thinking, we will be given everything.
It may not show up how you wish it to show up, but I will guarantee you that if you step your little toe out there with somewhat of a trust, you will be hit hard with a reality that is so honestly amazing that you WILL NOT KNOW what to do with it.
It is more unspoken, than spoken.
I am completely humbled.
My life is exquisite beyond belief!
I don't care where I work or for who.
The details are just a funny summary of what I am doing here.
It surely has nothing to do with who I am!
I love you all so much and thank you for listening to me ramble on about what I think is most important.
It may not mean a lick to you and that, to me, would honestly be OK.
Goodnight.
Gabriela
brush your teeth, look at yourself..... wonder for a second, if THIS is REALLY ......IT!!!
Toil, toil... crawl into bed.....maybe read.....maybe not........ dream...... or not......... toss and turn......... who knows really...... it changes from time to time, doesn't it?
Who REALLY knows what the next moment, hour, day, or week will bring???
Life is fickle. It really is. It's nature is to be fickle. I can't change it, so I have to swing with it.
It's like someone who is moody. You can't change it, but find ways in which to swing with it.
In today's world, if you cannot get creative in your outlook on life, and things, I think you will either be consciously dead, or you will die of anxiety or a heart attack, acting as if you are surprised at life, and what it offers, much to your dismay, and be the one who has been stricken with something.
Please don't misread my writings.
Some things happen and are out of our hands. I get that. I honestly do. I do think though, that we have a huge responsibility in our evolvement and healing. Not many of us are privy to this, or even have any kind of resource to connect to. When we have an issue or when we are ill, we fret and head immediately to the doctor.
I don't find it often that when one finds out a certain piece of information, that they head straight for their meditation chair, to take personal inventory on what may or may not be happening for them, or in their tiny little nuclease of a world. I think it is an immediate fight or flight situation. Understandable!
There is another way, I promise you that!
God, it is so difficult to say that there are things that will help us along without making it sound like there is one way, and one way only. I do not believe in that.
I believe in self discovery, and however that shows up for you, wonderful. If it feels right and conducive, than yeahhh, cool. Another outlet and piece to the puzzle on your journey in this little intricate life.
Self discovery is different for everyone.
I don't care if you are in this program or that program, the list certainly goes on. Atheist, pagan, christian, Buddhist, non believer, this that or the other thing. I DO NOT JUDGE YOU. I have been across the board.
We are all trying to get to the same place. If you want to do a thousand hail Mary's, go ahead...... if you want to chant the word of God, please do...... if you want to let the whisper of the wind guide you, bless your heart..... whatever it is........... if it brings you peace of heart and mind....... there you go!!!!
That is for you, and I am there.
I realized this as I was in the ICU unit with my mother, as it was her last days.
She couldn't move really. Lucky we got her to a chair when my sister and the woman who came to do communion and prayer sat there to receive.
It was a blazing moment for me in my own evolution.
I was there for my mom, and knowing she wanted this for her, and so did my sister.
I have had my own spiritual beliefs for many years. It was never really talked about.
I sat there and watched the woman say her prayers to my mother and my sister, give them communion, and then she looked at me, and waited to see what I wanted to do. I quietly said thank you, and acknowledged her being, her way, and her way in which she imparted beauty and reality into my sister and my mother.
I realized in that moment that it was OK to have a different belief system, but to send healing and love and forgiveness and so many other words that would take me all night to describe,to my mother, that would equal, to me, the same message, the same prayer, and the same healing properties as if I had held those beads, and said the same prayer that was shared while I was quiet.
It was a definite moment in time in my life, as an adult woman, a daughter, a disciple of life, and as a sister/friend who had shared a lifetime of wonders and contemplations.
There it was. A stopping!
A real, true, STOPPING.
Had I never stopped before?
Had I always been this sort of robot in my life where things come up and you just quickly deal with them to get past the emotion and once you hurdled over that, you were good, until the next situation presented itself?
It has been 4 years since my mother has passed and I don't think I have digested the enormity of the teachings. The magnitude of love, of how to surrender to the present moments in my life. To be able to consciously make a cut off point from insanity to an insane kind of reality where you embrace the obscure, the indefinite, and make it all a part of a reality that IS REAL, and is part of what is happening, and make good with it all.
IT IS IMPERATIVE that you take time for yourself. Time to reflect, time to get a grip on where you are, and with whom, and to make good where good needs to be met.
Life is seductive!!
It WILL entrance you!
I know we are all human, in all of our frailties, and god bless us all, really... on this crazy trek, but know one thing. If we act honestly, give freely, with no expectations, and risk everything for a free way of living and thinking, we will be given everything.
It may not show up how you wish it to show up, but I will guarantee you that if you step your little toe out there with somewhat of a trust, you will be hit hard with a reality that is so honestly amazing that you WILL NOT KNOW what to do with it.
It is more unspoken, than spoken.
I am completely humbled.
My life is exquisite beyond belief!
I don't care where I work or for who.
The details are just a funny summary of what I am doing here.
It surely has nothing to do with who I am!
I love you all so much and thank you for listening to me ramble on about what I think is most important.
It may not mean a lick to you and that, to me, would honestly be OK.
Goodnight.
Gabriela
Friday, October 28, 2011
WHAT ARE WE RUNNING FROM?
I picked this subject because it seems to be the main topic in so many people's lives. It isn't the type of thing that actually looks like, or seems like we are running, but YES, WE ARE RUNNING from ourselves.
How does this look?
I am busy 24/7, I have no time for myself, I cannot do this anymore, there is not enough time in the day, I am running ragged, I'm stressed, I am anxiety ridden, I need to take something for my heart, I cannot sleep at night, I am overweight, I hate myself, I never look like this..........
Do any of these things sound familiar?
I don't think it is anything to get freaked out about. I think it is just the simple fact that we are human, going through life, and shit comes up.... really!! Anyone would want to run for the hills. I know I would.
It takes everything for me everyday to stay good with myself. Sometimes it is easy, easy. I wake up, I feel grateful, I go to work, I share some good stuff with clients, they change, their bodies respond, they feel taken care of, I get to think outside of the box, I spend time in nature, I love on my dogs, I spend time with the birds, I am quiet, I cook lovely food for my soul, and cap it there. I read a little, fuel my soul with some inspiration, and call it a beautiful evening, really!
Some days, I wake up and my chest is pounding. Why, WHY........... I do have to ask. Why the heck is my chest pounding? What is happening that my body is responding in such a crucial manner?
What were my thoughts before bed? What am I believing to be true? What feels unfinished?
9 times out of 10 I can name it, and don't always necessarily want to own it.
I want to...............RUN!
I mean really, who wants to feel all of this body stuff because of some batch of emotions that we decided to take on?
Why did we decide to take it on? Because we are lazy!! We don't feel like thinking anymore so we just say, "I feel like crap today". "I'm not up to par today". "I don't know what is wrong with me".
YES YOU DO! Just say it!
You are unhappy! You are bored! You are dissatisfied with your progress, or lack of progress at this point and time in your life.
Please don't blame it on someone or a situation that has occurred in your life. Boy, do I know that one all too well.
No one is to blame. Not even yourself.
IT IS WHAT IT IS!
You made choices, or things occurred and you either have dealt with it or you have decided to not deal with it just yet, and want to milk the cow just a teeny bit more. I get all angles. I have been the "victim" and have also copped to my own short comings and have prayed for guidance on a better way, next time, to deal with things.
All I know, is that it is truly NOT in my nature to RUN!
Sometimes I see myself as an old woman. I visualize what that will look like. I wonder if old ideas about things and my own self will sculpt me and age or not age me. I wonder if I will be humble enough to say "Sayanara" to ideas that are just .........ideas, and that I will hurdle over a huge clump of what life is "supposed" to be and hang tight with my simple little genuine self that doesn't give a living crap what people say about me, or how they think this little person should be living, or who I am supposed to be with, or not be with, and what profession I am supposed to have, because god knows, I should be making millions right now, right?
After all, I am in my mid forties and things should look like...........THIS!!!
You know the picture, I know you do.
Half the time I say to myself, "OK, if I just had someone to help me with........... and things would be easier if........and life would be more fun if........ so and so were here............
the bottom line is, if I cannot find a balance, a harmony, a neutral ground here, in this NOW, with myself, than it ain't never gonna happen.
I am truly OK with myself.
I like me.
I like my take on life and think it is good for me, at least. I can cinch up a few things but for the most part, I wing it for loves sake. I don't want to be beholden to what should be to be SAFE.
I have to make sure I am soulfully happy, and then paste together all other ends.
Not one of us is perfect!
We try to do our best to stay good, on target, and all of that, but the truth is, stuff comes up. Our age, illness, doctor scares, wrinkles, hurts, self sabotage, image issues, self worth, should and shouldn'ts.
It's all part of it.
Embrace it and let yourself be OK with all of the crappy thoughts. I think once we embrace the crappy stuff, it takes a load off and we can actually laugh about our absurdities.
Hay, this year, I have tons more grey hair, and oh, forgive the crazy new lines on my nose and eyes from worshipping the sun.
My choice. Always my choice, right? So...... in that.....why complain. I want to accept my choices and get on with it already. Enough talk about how I shoulda coulda woulda. Yawn, yawn!!
Jeezzusss!
Be easy on yourself.
Take intermittent looks at yourself, objectively, check out what looks good and compliment yourself, or see what it is that you may want to change up, and make a plan, don't beat yourself to a pulp. Just change it for god's sake. Quit all the talking.
Hay, I say this to myself. I go on my own rants and I laugh and say, what an ass!! Be quiet and just DO IT!!
So, there it is.
Don't make mountains out of mole hills.
I'm not.
It's all going to come to an end quicker than we realize and then we are REALLY going to feel like heels. You know, we'll be there, lying pathetically, doing the proverbial, "I wish I just would have, or I should have just...... or I should have listened to......."
Let's be a little bit smarter. Check out your life right now. What do you want to get rid of? How do you want to live? What needs to happen for you to feel closest to your soul, the person that is elated, like a child opening Christmas gifts in the morning? Seriously, this isn't a joke.
HOW CAN YOU DO THIS?
Think about it.
I do. Everyday. I do the things that make me smile huge.
It may seem boring, or redundant, or pretty plain.
I don't care.
Half the time I laugh out loud knowing it is just not what is "supposed" to be but it works for me and makes me feel alive.
The only time it doesn't make me feel alive, is if I have adopted some idea that I should be doing something different, just because........ and the list goes on.
Don't run from yourself.
Take whatever seems amazing and great, and joyful to you and expound on it. Make it more real than what it is in your life now, and praise yourself for taking the risk.
Who cares what people say. Who are those people anyway?
JUMP! HURRY, BEFORE IT IS TOO LATE!
~
How does this look?
I am busy 24/7, I have no time for myself, I cannot do this anymore, there is not enough time in the day, I am running ragged, I'm stressed, I am anxiety ridden, I need to take something for my heart, I cannot sleep at night, I am overweight, I hate myself, I never look like this..........
Do any of these things sound familiar?
I don't think it is anything to get freaked out about. I think it is just the simple fact that we are human, going through life, and shit comes up.... really!! Anyone would want to run for the hills. I know I would.
It takes everything for me everyday to stay good with myself. Sometimes it is easy, easy. I wake up, I feel grateful, I go to work, I share some good stuff with clients, they change, their bodies respond, they feel taken care of, I get to think outside of the box, I spend time in nature, I love on my dogs, I spend time with the birds, I am quiet, I cook lovely food for my soul, and cap it there. I read a little, fuel my soul with some inspiration, and call it a beautiful evening, really!
Some days, I wake up and my chest is pounding. Why, WHY........... I do have to ask. Why the heck is my chest pounding? What is happening that my body is responding in such a crucial manner?
What were my thoughts before bed? What am I believing to be true? What feels unfinished?
9 times out of 10 I can name it, and don't always necessarily want to own it.
I want to...............RUN!
I mean really, who wants to feel all of this body stuff because of some batch of emotions that we decided to take on?
Why did we decide to take it on? Because we are lazy!! We don't feel like thinking anymore so we just say, "I feel like crap today". "I'm not up to par today". "I don't know what is wrong with me".
YES YOU DO! Just say it!
You are unhappy! You are bored! You are dissatisfied with your progress, or lack of progress at this point and time in your life.
Please don't blame it on someone or a situation that has occurred in your life. Boy, do I know that one all too well.
No one is to blame. Not even yourself.
IT IS WHAT IT IS!
You made choices, or things occurred and you either have dealt with it or you have decided to not deal with it just yet, and want to milk the cow just a teeny bit more. I get all angles. I have been the "victim" and have also copped to my own short comings and have prayed for guidance on a better way, next time, to deal with things.
All I know, is that it is truly NOT in my nature to RUN!
Sometimes I see myself as an old woman. I visualize what that will look like. I wonder if old ideas about things and my own self will sculpt me and age or not age me. I wonder if I will be humble enough to say "Sayanara" to ideas that are just .........ideas, and that I will hurdle over a huge clump of what life is "supposed" to be and hang tight with my simple little genuine self that doesn't give a living crap what people say about me, or how they think this little person should be living, or who I am supposed to be with, or not be with, and what profession I am supposed to have, because god knows, I should be making millions right now, right?
After all, I am in my mid forties and things should look like...........THIS!!!
You know the picture, I know you do.
Half the time I say to myself, "OK, if I just had someone to help me with........... and things would be easier if........and life would be more fun if........ so and so were here............
the bottom line is, if I cannot find a balance, a harmony, a neutral ground here, in this NOW, with myself, than it ain't never gonna happen.
I am truly OK with myself.
I like me.
I like my take on life and think it is good for me, at least. I can cinch up a few things but for the most part, I wing it for loves sake. I don't want to be beholden to what should be to be SAFE.
I have to make sure I am soulfully happy, and then paste together all other ends.
Not one of us is perfect!
We try to do our best to stay good, on target, and all of that, but the truth is, stuff comes up. Our age, illness, doctor scares, wrinkles, hurts, self sabotage, image issues, self worth, should and shouldn'ts.
It's all part of it.
Embrace it and let yourself be OK with all of the crappy thoughts. I think once we embrace the crappy stuff, it takes a load off and we can actually laugh about our absurdities.
Hay, this year, I have tons more grey hair, and oh, forgive the crazy new lines on my nose and eyes from worshipping the sun.
My choice. Always my choice, right? So...... in that.....why complain. I want to accept my choices and get on with it already. Enough talk about how I shoulda coulda woulda. Yawn, yawn!!
Jeezzusss!
Be easy on yourself.
Take intermittent looks at yourself, objectively, check out what looks good and compliment yourself, or see what it is that you may want to change up, and make a plan, don't beat yourself to a pulp. Just change it for god's sake. Quit all the talking.
Hay, I say this to myself. I go on my own rants and I laugh and say, what an ass!! Be quiet and just DO IT!!
So, there it is.
Don't make mountains out of mole hills.
I'm not.
It's all going to come to an end quicker than we realize and then we are REALLY going to feel like heels. You know, we'll be there, lying pathetically, doing the proverbial, "I wish I just would have, or I should have just...... or I should have listened to......."
Let's be a little bit smarter. Check out your life right now. What do you want to get rid of? How do you want to live? What needs to happen for you to feel closest to your soul, the person that is elated, like a child opening Christmas gifts in the morning? Seriously, this isn't a joke.
HOW CAN YOU DO THIS?
Think about it.
I do. Everyday. I do the things that make me smile huge.
It may seem boring, or redundant, or pretty plain.
I don't care.
Half the time I laugh out loud knowing it is just not what is "supposed" to be but it works for me and makes me feel alive.
The only time it doesn't make me feel alive, is if I have adopted some idea that I should be doing something different, just because........ and the list goes on.
Don't run from yourself.
Take whatever seems amazing and great, and joyful to you and expound on it. Make it more real than what it is in your life now, and praise yourself for taking the risk.
Who cares what people say. Who are those people anyway?
JUMP! HURRY, BEFORE IT IS TOO LATE!
~
Thursday, October 20, 2011
SEEING THINGS A BIT DIFFERENT SOMETIMES
You know the one........ we all have it!! BLAH... BLAH..BLAH!!!
"You can't do that, you are too old", "You can't do that, after all, who else is doing that?" "You can't do that, because THIS is what you are SUPPOSED to be doing".
Today I took a client/friend to the lake for her workout. We usually bike for 30 minutes, ride to the lake, swim laps, and then do a "rock" workout on the shore. We pick rocks that equal what we think is 10 pounds, 20 pounds, or even 5. It's funny, but man, what a work out. We do a ton of resistance training in the water, and talk about life. Pretty sweet!!
So, we get to the water, strip down to our suits, and feel the nip in the air. We both look at each other like, "Holy Moses". One foot in and it's freezing cold. I usually stand there longer than she does like a baby not wanting to be cold.
The mind always formulates a feeling with a scenario, gloms onto that, and there it is. THIS IS THE WAY I FEEL NOW. End of story!
We both just said, "Let's go"........... as in..........NO MORE THINKING ABOUT IT!! 1-2-3.........DIVE IN!
It was so exhilarating, cold as hell, but in seconds, I realized and acknowledged how incredibly limited my thoughts can be when I think too much! Sounds so "Book People-ish", but it's so true!
When I am so precise in the moment, no thoughts can really attach themselves to me because there is no room. I mean absolutely NO ROOM. The only thing in that moment is what is happening, what I am doing, or not doing, and it is just.....THAT.
I won't even say that because I am in that precise moment, that it will all be heavenly, godly, so therefore I will be sniffing on a bed of roses. No!
I can be in the moment experiencing complete hell, but at least I am present with that emotion, and not glomming on to some unpredicted future, how uncertain life is, and how messed up it is because "someone" out there isn't watching out for me, you know, giving me the answers to every next moment in my life. I mean, come on, isn't that what life is really about........PREDICTABILITY? BEING COMFORTABLE AND ALWAYS KNOWING WHAT IS GOING TO HAPPEN NEXT?
Well, I must have been born on planet X, because as far as I know, life IS NOT THAT WAY, AND NEVER WILL BE! At least to me anyway. And that is devoid of any kind of science.
I know when I wake up in the morning I could trip over my dog, brake my leg and my day will not be the same.
I know when I drive away each day, there is a possibility that it could very well be my last drive, last view from a car, last experience down a beautiful road where I see horses, goats, chickens, and amazing landscape.
I mean, seriously, I think this way. It's really not unique, I think it is just sadly forgotten these days and it makes me sad, for me, when I am not in this reality, and for the other people too, whom I see in great sadness, not knowing that they actually have an alternative. They remain my teachers.
WE DON'T KNOW WHAT THE NEXT MINUTE WILL BRING, so in all of our moments, even if we are crazy in our little brains, wouldn't it be nice to adopt a new kind of attitude that life is delicate, life is chaotic, and never makes a lick of sense, so it would behoove us ( my mom would turn in her grave if she knew I used this word publicly). I loathed it as a child and look at me........... big wink to you mom....
yes, it would behoove us to adopt a new way of thinking and being.
Everyone I talk to and meet with are stressed. They can't grasp what it is like to NOT be stressed. Anxiety is high, the economy is ridiculous, and yeah, grabbing a back pack and high tailing it to a very cool camp site sounds glorious, rather than the sick rat race, but......... life is happening pretty fast paced, and if we don't get a hold FIRST, on our mind sets, within it all, we will be "had".
The so called "ruler", the brain, the limited intellect will win it's short run race.
There are ways to get around it all, but it takes BOLD CHOICES, individual choices, a gentle look at ourselves, where we have been, and not be so hard on ourselves for all of that. Our past, how things may or may not have looked, and stand sturdy in the NOW. Now doesn't involve your upbringing, your crazy father, your friends that made fun of you, your abandonment, your "lack" of.... nor does it involve positive future events. Just because it is positive doesn't mean it is NOW. You can still be positive, hold those thoughts in high regard, but if you are attached to them in the least, you've lost the name of the game.
Hay, I say, "Dream HUGE", but if that dream doesn't happen, hopefully you won't consider yourself a failure. To me, there is never failure, only a great learning curve and a chance for us to do it differently next time.
When I hear people say, "YOU HAVE FAILED", I think, "Right on". I get to be challenged again to see what will work instead".
Opportunities are given 24/7. TAKE THEM!!
So......... my rant about the water being cold and all of that??
My swim, seemingly quick and for a workout, enlightened me with each stroke. My breathing became easier, I looked up and around at the sky, the rocks, the gorgeous ripples in the water that I was eye to eye with, and I don't really remember thinking about some kinda cold water. Mind you when I stopped my friend said my chin was blue, hahaha, but........... you get what I'm saying right??
To me, it's a literal, DIP IN, DIP OUT. Go ahead dip in to the dark thoughts, or dip right out into this second where there is no tomorrow, and no yesterday.
So good to catch up and to reach out again.
So wild when expression is limited. Not writing for awhile felt like an old friend dying.
What a catharsis.
Thanks for listening and for always wanting to read about my little stories.
It makes me giggle and feel totally humbled at the same time.
I love you all and thank you so much for you!
Goodnight.
Gabriela
"You can't do that, you are too old", "You can't do that, after all, who else is doing that?" "You can't do that, because THIS is what you are SUPPOSED to be doing".
Today I took a client/friend to the lake for her workout. We usually bike for 30 minutes, ride to the lake, swim laps, and then do a "rock" workout on the shore. We pick rocks that equal what we think is 10 pounds, 20 pounds, or even 5. It's funny, but man, what a work out. We do a ton of resistance training in the water, and talk about life. Pretty sweet!!
So, we get to the water, strip down to our suits, and feel the nip in the air. We both look at each other like, "Holy Moses". One foot in and it's freezing cold. I usually stand there longer than she does like a baby not wanting to be cold.
The mind always formulates a feeling with a scenario, gloms onto that, and there it is. THIS IS THE WAY I FEEL NOW. End of story!
We both just said, "Let's go"........... as in..........NO MORE THINKING ABOUT IT!! 1-2-3.........DIVE IN!
It was so exhilarating, cold as hell, but in seconds, I realized and acknowledged how incredibly limited my thoughts can be when I think too much! Sounds so "Book People-ish", but it's so true!
When I am so precise in the moment, no thoughts can really attach themselves to me because there is no room. I mean absolutely NO ROOM. The only thing in that moment is what is happening, what I am doing, or not doing, and it is just.....THAT.
I won't even say that because I am in that precise moment, that it will all be heavenly, godly, so therefore I will be sniffing on a bed of roses. No!
I can be in the moment experiencing complete hell, but at least I am present with that emotion, and not glomming on to some unpredicted future, how uncertain life is, and how messed up it is because "someone" out there isn't watching out for me, you know, giving me the answers to every next moment in my life. I mean, come on, isn't that what life is really about........PREDICTABILITY? BEING COMFORTABLE AND ALWAYS KNOWING WHAT IS GOING TO HAPPEN NEXT?
Well, I must have been born on planet X, because as far as I know, life IS NOT THAT WAY, AND NEVER WILL BE! At least to me anyway. And that is devoid of any kind of science.
I know when I wake up in the morning I could trip over my dog, brake my leg and my day will not be the same.
I know when I drive away each day, there is a possibility that it could very well be my last drive, last view from a car, last experience down a beautiful road where I see horses, goats, chickens, and amazing landscape.
I mean, seriously, I think this way. It's really not unique, I think it is just sadly forgotten these days and it makes me sad, for me, when I am not in this reality, and for the other people too, whom I see in great sadness, not knowing that they actually have an alternative. They remain my teachers.
WE DON'T KNOW WHAT THE NEXT MINUTE WILL BRING, so in all of our moments, even if we are crazy in our little brains, wouldn't it be nice to adopt a new kind of attitude that life is delicate, life is chaotic, and never makes a lick of sense, so it would behoove us ( my mom would turn in her grave if she knew I used this word publicly). I loathed it as a child and look at me........... big wink to you mom....
yes, it would behoove us to adopt a new way of thinking and being.
Everyone I talk to and meet with are stressed. They can't grasp what it is like to NOT be stressed. Anxiety is high, the economy is ridiculous, and yeah, grabbing a back pack and high tailing it to a very cool camp site sounds glorious, rather than the sick rat race, but......... life is happening pretty fast paced, and if we don't get a hold FIRST, on our mind sets, within it all, we will be "had".
The so called "ruler", the brain, the limited intellect will win it's short run race.
There are ways to get around it all, but it takes BOLD CHOICES, individual choices, a gentle look at ourselves, where we have been, and not be so hard on ourselves for all of that. Our past, how things may or may not have looked, and stand sturdy in the NOW. Now doesn't involve your upbringing, your crazy father, your friends that made fun of you, your abandonment, your "lack" of.... nor does it involve positive future events. Just because it is positive doesn't mean it is NOW. You can still be positive, hold those thoughts in high regard, but if you are attached to them in the least, you've lost the name of the game.
Hay, I say, "Dream HUGE", but if that dream doesn't happen, hopefully you won't consider yourself a failure. To me, there is never failure, only a great learning curve and a chance for us to do it differently next time.
When I hear people say, "YOU HAVE FAILED", I think, "Right on". I get to be challenged again to see what will work instead".
Opportunities are given 24/7. TAKE THEM!!
So......... my rant about the water being cold and all of that??
My swim, seemingly quick and for a workout, enlightened me with each stroke. My breathing became easier, I looked up and around at the sky, the rocks, the gorgeous ripples in the water that I was eye to eye with, and I don't really remember thinking about some kinda cold water. Mind you when I stopped my friend said my chin was blue, hahaha, but........... you get what I'm saying right??
To me, it's a literal, DIP IN, DIP OUT. Go ahead dip in to the dark thoughts, or dip right out into this second where there is no tomorrow, and no yesterday.
So good to catch up and to reach out again.
So wild when expression is limited. Not writing for awhile felt like an old friend dying.
What a catharsis.
Thanks for listening and for always wanting to read about my little stories.
It makes me giggle and feel totally humbled at the same time.
I love you all and thank you so much for you!
Goodnight.
Gabriela
Wednesday, October 19, 2011
WELCOME BACK........ TO OURSELVES.
This has been the longest time since I haven't written on my blog. It actually was good since I had to take pen to paper. I have to be honest. I love pen to paper.
I love mailing cards, hand written letters, and such.
The computer is a beautiful tool. I still prefer pen to paper. It's just organic to me. Feeling your fingers to the pen and then to the paper. Folding it all up and sealing it in a nice envelope. Ahhhh!!!
I didn't plan on writing tonight since the day was amazingly full since early am. To spell it all out would be extremely interesting if I were to dissect my interactions, the people, the situations and how I quietly view them. I will. But tonight I guess will just be short.
I was compelled to write.
I am always compelled to write.
It's what I thrive on.
What is in me.
As I started my day, I thought, "What is most important to me"?
I usually wake up and meditate, or read something that is spiritually inspiring.
Today I focused on walking meditation and how being present in every one of my moments can lead me to a crazy wild experience. One that is so revealing that sometimes I have no idea what to do with it.
Every moment that I choose to be aware will take me to such a beautiful place, something that is so true, outside of any kind of ideas.
It's hard, you know. You know you have to work. You know you have obligations, bills, debts, and the "norm" of every day living. But then again, you know, so whole hearted, that those things are not the essence of who you are. They just aren't.
Well what is then?
What is the essence of who you are?
Is it your job? Your hobbies? Your love interest? Your identity to your family? Community of friends?
What if you were to just stand alone? Without all of those things?
Would you be comfortable?
How would you feel?
Times are tough right now.
That is a whole other story, which I will expound on.
I said this would be short.
I'm dying to dig deep into what is happening for us, individually, globally and collectively, as community, as lovers, as friends, as family.
What is it that we can do to elevate this consciousness?
It doesn't have to be big.
It's as little as this small little blog that will go out to how many people?
But those people share with other people. And that is the way.
Simple.
No frills.
Tonight.... I will say...
Our territory is really very vast, but we are not responsible kings or queens. We always try to dodge away and we do not keep up a real surveillance of our territory. We have the feeling that there are immense conflicts there, too much suffering, too much pain- that is the reason we are very hesitant to get back to our territory.
Our daily practice consists of running away.
We are afraid of the suffering that is inside of us, afraid of war and conflict.
The practice of meditation consists of coming back to ourselves in order to restore peace and harmony.
To be mindful is to carry on concentration, understanding, and love. If we come back to ourselves to restore peace and harmony, then helping another person will be a much easier thing.
I try not to go on tangents. Love is like having a thousand tentacles. They all swarm at once.
My love swarms continuously, in every direction.
It's warm. It is defenseless. It is open armed.
It is true.
Thank you for allowing me in, and for letting me be myself.
Agree or disagree. Any which way is OK.
I am grateful for expression, that is all.
Goodnight.
Until tomorrow.
Gabriela
I love mailing cards, hand written letters, and such.
The computer is a beautiful tool. I still prefer pen to paper. It's just organic to me. Feeling your fingers to the pen and then to the paper. Folding it all up and sealing it in a nice envelope. Ahhhh!!!
I didn't plan on writing tonight since the day was amazingly full since early am. To spell it all out would be extremely interesting if I were to dissect my interactions, the people, the situations and how I quietly view them. I will. But tonight I guess will just be short.
I was compelled to write.
I am always compelled to write.
It's what I thrive on.
What is in me.
As I started my day, I thought, "What is most important to me"?
I usually wake up and meditate, or read something that is spiritually inspiring.
Today I focused on walking meditation and how being present in every one of my moments can lead me to a crazy wild experience. One that is so revealing that sometimes I have no idea what to do with it.
Every moment that I choose to be aware will take me to such a beautiful place, something that is so true, outside of any kind of ideas.
It's hard, you know. You know you have to work. You know you have obligations, bills, debts, and the "norm" of every day living. But then again, you know, so whole hearted, that those things are not the essence of who you are. They just aren't.
Well what is then?
What is the essence of who you are?
Is it your job? Your hobbies? Your love interest? Your identity to your family? Community of friends?
What if you were to just stand alone? Without all of those things?
Would you be comfortable?
How would you feel?
Times are tough right now.
That is a whole other story, which I will expound on.
I said this would be short.
I'm dying to dig deep into what is happening for us, individually, globally and collectively, as community, as lovers, as friends, as family.
What is it that we can do to elevate this consciousness?
It doesn't have to be big.
It's as little as this small little blog that will go out to how many people?
But those people share with other people. And that is the way.
Simple.
No frills.
Tonight.... I will say...
Our territory is really very vast, but we are not responsible kings or queens. We always try to dodge away and we do not keep up a real surveillance of our territory. We have the feeling that there are immense conflicts there, too much suffering, too much pain- that is the reason we are very hesitant to get back to our territory.
Our daily practice consists of running away.
We are afraid of the suffering that is inside of us, afraid of war and conflict.
The practice of meditation consists of coming back to ourselves in order to restore peace and harmony.
To be mindful is to carry on concentration, understanding, and love. If we come back to ourselves to restore peace and harmony, then helping another person will be a much easier thing.
I try not to go on tangents. Love is like having a thousand tentacles. They all swarm at once.
My love swarms continuously, in every direction.
It's warm. It is defenseless. It is open armed.
It is true.
Thank you for allowing me in, and for letting me be myself.
Agree or disagree. Any which way is OK.
I am grateful for expression, that is all.
Goodnight.
Until tomorrow.
Gabriela
Friday, July 8, 2011
I'LL JUST WAIT TILL I............
I'll just wait to write my blog until I change that picture that is so not me anymore. I'll just wait to write because there is just too much to catch up on. Where do I begin? How do I formulate anything really? so much time has gone by and so much has happened and people are wondering, "What happened to Gabriela?"
Gabriela is fine.
Let's start there. I'm OK.
I had a major shift in my work. It was needed. I did not predict the outcome of my new venture, which went sour for several reasons, so here I am, in the midst of the Universe with myself, my desires, and also, my plain wanting to just rest now. Rest in a simple life that will afford me the luxury to write, to express in all of the ways that I do, and let that take a life of it's own on.
It's funny because since my leaving the farm with my business partner, I have had time to sit back and to listen to what everyone thinks I should be doing, and also, have had time to reflect on what I actually want to do, and man, it has been like a ping pong match.
This and this and this is what I am good at but is THIS actually what I want to do? Really? Do I want to start an enterprise at 44? Do I want to write books for a living and just work a simple job where there is no thinking involved? Do I expound on my passion for cooking? What is the true passion and what am I willing to do to get to the core of who I am, what I want to express, and how that will look in my everyday life?
I certainly am not the big frills girl. I have been there and done that. It impresses me like dust on my shelves.
I have no impression to make on anyone. I could care less. I am me.
What I do care about is doing something that will make a difference in some way. I have to share this crazy love that is inside of me or I will bust into a thousand pieces.
I guess there are many ways to do that, but for me, it gets specific, and I know when the opportunity presents itself for me to get out of the way and to just be my little authentic self, opportunities arise where I can help in one way or the other and it infuses me like no other.
I try to stay on my track of beliefs amongst all of the chaos and uncertainty. It isn't easy.
The economy could seem like my worst enemy, but therein lies my ability to test my strengths and willingness to do what I know is right for me, against any kind of odds, to stay true to what I believe to be true and to follow through with what it is that I believe in, not only for my self, but for anyone that might glom onto what I am saying and believe it to ring just as true to their heart as it does mine.
There never seems to be enough positive reinforcement around, especially if you are odd man out, to do, and to accomplish things outside of the norm. I've given in to, "that's OK" mode.
I have been my own cheerleader for my entire life, and actually, it's OK. Sometimes it is a bit daunting, just because no one, ( I don't think), wants to be Superwoman in all of their moments, but for the most part, it keeps me clear, my thoughts concise, and visions that I have, ready for a formula, ready to be put into action.
I feel like that damn starved writer, starved artist that struggles. How old is that? That starving artist! C'mon artists, let's start a new trend already!
We don't have to starve you know. We just need to get creative!!
Anyone wanting to start a bandwagon on the "non starving artist" wagon, email me asap, I kid you not!
Anyway, this was supposed to be a short blog, for starters and now look! See what you've done?
You all made me talk and talk and talk.
( hard thing for me to do).
OK, so I will keep you posted.
Life is happening in a big way. Nothing other than the next person, but then again, if I were to get into the details of my life, you would see that there is much going on all around me, with the people involved and it makes for a much better story........... but that would be for a private room with some exotic popcorn and some sexy Mediterranean sea salt, that's for damn sure!
Good night and sweet dreams.
Gabriela
Gabriela is fine.
Let's start there. I'm OK.
I had a major shift in my work. It was needed. I did not predict the outcome of my new venture, which went sour for several reasons, so here I am, in the midst of the Universe with myself, my desires, and also, my plain wanting to just rest now. Rest in a simple life that will afford me the luxury to write, to express in all of the ways that I do, and let that take a life of it's own on.
It's funny because since my leaving the farm with my business partner, I have had time to sit back and to listen to what everyone thinks I should be doing, and also, have had time to reflect on what I actually want to do, and man, it has been like a ping pong match.
This and this and this is what I am good at but is THIS actually what I want to do? Really? Do I want to start an enterprise at 44? Do I want to write books for a living and just work a simple job where there is no thinking involved? Do I expound on my passion for cooking? What is the true passion and what am I willing to do to get to the core of who I am, what I want to express, and how that will look in my everyday life?
I certainly am not the big frills girl. I have been there and done that. It impresses me like dust on my shelves.
I have no impression to make on anyone. I could care less. I am me.
What I do care about is doing something that will make a difference in some way. I have to share this crazy love that is inside of me or I will bust into a thousand pieces.
I guess there are many ways to do that, but for me, it gets specific, and I know when the opportunity presents itself for me to get out of the way and to just be my little authentic self, opportunities arise where I can help in one way or the other and it infuses me like no other.
I try to stay on my track of beliefs amongst all of the chaos and uncertainty. It isn't easy.
The economy could seem like my worst enemy, but therein lies my ability to test my strengths and willingness to do what I know is right for me, against any kind of odds, to stay true to what I believe to be true and to follow through with what it is that I believe in, not only for my self, but for anyone that might glom onto what I am saying and believe it to ring just as true to their heart as it does mine.
There never seems to be enough positive reinforcement around, especially if you are odd man out, to do, and to accomplish things outside of the norm. I've given in to, "that's OK" mode.
I have been my own cheerleader for my entire life, and actually, it's OK. Sometimes it is a bit daunting, just because no one, ( I don't think), wants to be Superwoman in all of their moments, but for the most part, it keeps me clear, my thoughts concise, and visions that I have, ready for a formula, ready to be put into action.
I feel like that damn starved writer, starved artist that struggles. How old is that? That starving artist! C'mon artists, let's start a new trend already!
We don't have to starve you know. We just need to get creative!!
Anyone wanting to start a bandwagon on the "non starving artist" wagon, email me asap, I kid you not!
Anyway, this was supposed to be a short blog, for starters and now look! See what you've done?
You all made me talk and talk and talk.
( hard thing for me to do).
OK, so I will keep you posted.
Life is happening in a big way. Nothing other than the next person, but then again, if I were to get into the details of my life, you would see that there is much going on all around me, with the people involved and it makes for a much better story........... but that would be for a private room with some exotic popcorn and some sexy Mediterranean sea salt, that's for damn sure!
Good night and sweet dreams.
Gabriela
Thursday, April 14, 2011
LITTLE SNIPPETS
My time is of the essence.
My little snippets mean, let's start crammin in information little by little so at least I can say I am staying aware, and giving you information, little by little, that will keep you abreast on what is happening in my world.
The "little snippets" mean a lot to me, even if it seems small. At least I can can keep you updated on what is new, what is happening, and how it all fits in, into the greater scheme of things.
There is so much that is happening, on many different levels, so I will just spoon feed you for now, and let you know that there are many beautiful things that are about to happen, so stay aware of me,what is happening, and you will find yourself immersed in a new little "life" that will transport you to another time and space.
Not extremely esoteric, mind you. Just consciously aware, awake and revitalizing to the human spirit.
Come along and hold my hand.
Until next time.....
I love you!
Gabriela
My little snippets mean, let's start crammin in information little by little so at least I can say I am staying aware, and giving you information, little by little, that will keep you abreast on what is happening in my world.
The "little snippets" mean a lot to me, even if it seems small. At least I can can keep you updated on what is new, what is happening, and how it all fits in, into the greater scheme of things.
There is so much that is happening, on many different levels, so I will just spoon feed you for now, and let you know that there are many beautiful things that are about to happen, so stay aware of me,what is happening, and you will find yourself immersed in a new little "life" that will transport you to another time and space.
Not extremely esoteric, mind you. Just consciously aware, awake and revitalizing to the human spirit.
Come along and hold my hand.
Until next time.....
I love you!
Gabriela
Friday, April 1, 2011
WHERE TO BEGIN?
Wow, so it has been way too long and so, so much information to relay in one blog.
I feel like I haven't written my blog in forever, and comparatively speaking, I just haven't.
It seems, again, that my days pass me by, the hours slip through the cracks, and I pan back on when my mother was my age now, and remember her saying, "Honey, it passes by so quickly". Before I knew it, you grew from a young girl into a beautiful woman". She always did say how the time will go by quickly, which is why I really try to embrace the importance of my life here, what that all entails, and try to make it exactly the way I would like for it to be.
Life throws us obstacles of all sorts, but I am the kind of person that thinks there is nothing, NOTHING that we cannot overcome, with a little bit of faith and perseverance.
I am a huge believer in taking quiet time, and lots of it, to allow ourselves to get reacquainted with ourselves, again and again and again.
We are ever changing, moment to moment, wanting different things, changing our desires, our plots and plans for what we think our futures are, or even our next moments.
I think a good plan is good, but also, just for me, I think that being able to adopt a kind of fluidity in today's world is wise!
Why hold on to an idea, when there are so many miracles that come our way, so many circumstances that allow us to move in a direction that is generally what we want anyway, just maybe looks a bit different and is not what was mapped out on our canvas.
I always want to leave room for that fluidity.
Actually, it is the thing that works the best for me, and generally most people poo poo it because it is not a mainstream way of thinking.
I have always lived by my own rules. And really, they aren't really rules, just what has felt right, and have taken tons of risks to stay true to the calling that speaks to me so loudly in all of my moments.
Sometimes it even baffles me........
The information that is "handed" to me is perplexing to my mind, yet the feeling of "this is right" always takes precedence and I trust in a higher power that I believe has more knowledge than this tiny little brain. It's a highly "risky" way of thinking to most, but sheer brilliance to me.
I believe in that, and therefore try to balance the "calling" with my regular every day life that calls for routine, responsibility, and a vision of what it sees for not only itself, but for the whole. Humanity. The reason I am here and what I can be doing in simple ways to do, not only my part, but to grab a hold of what comes naturally to me and expound on IT, in ways that will raise the consciousness of our society, the people, no one better or worse, but people like you and me who could use a lesson or two on staying more true to ourselves, whether it be not acting out on someone in a robotic way, and taking responsibility for our actions, or walking down the road and picking up the glass bottle on the ground and pretending that you don't see it. Rather, pick it up, take it to your car and throw it away when you get home, ya know? Simple stuff like that.
I don't know.
If I were to look at life from the whole, I would totally get overwhelmed and depressed at how could someone like me make a difference, but when I look at my moments, my tiny little moments in my day, I ask myself everyday.......how can I make a difference???
Actually it isn't even a question anymore. I just move in that way. I like to make people smile. I like to just be there, with people, and even though observing them is a whole subject in and of itself, I sit back and giggle at the absurdity of personalities, how they operate and how, too, I can have more compassion for people, AND myself, who have flaws, scrapes and scabs that are deep seeded.
I think no matter where we all are, we think we are doing good, or doing the "right" thing. And that, to me, is the beauty of individuality.
We are all on our own individual treks.
I always want to remain innocent, yet wise.
If I am not experiencing that innocence throughout my day, I feel a sort of deadness.
I don't compare myself to anyone.
I have my own "rules of thumb" for a good life.
It may not be the same as Sally or Joe's, but I do have to say that I feel genuinely good when I think of my vision, or my thoughts for people and life, and the whole.
I don't know what I have done, or where I have been in the past that brings me to this sacred place, and really, I don't question it, but I do know that I am here for a reason, and it IS SPECIFIC!
Beyond that? I cannot tell you!
All I have is this precious moment, here on a Friday night.
I grilled a steak. I layed on my deck talking to one of my dogs, rubbing his belly, staring at the stars that are so darn bright tonight........
I giggled.
I thought about the absurdity of it all.......you know, this life, and all of it's charades............ and it faded into the back round.
I closed my eyes and connected to the source that fills me. Call it what you want!
I don't have to name it. Really, I don't!
It feels like a shame at times, for people who ask "How do you get there"?
I DO have a "formula" of sorts, that works for me. That is all I can say.
Everyone will do as they will and how they see fit for their lives.
I will always be here as a conduit, or some kinda cheerleader who will root for you to come "HOME".
Thank you so much for being a part of my life.
I am ever so grateful!
Love,
Gabriela
I feel like I haven't written my blog in forever, and comparatively speaking, I just haven't.
It seems, again, that my days pass me by, the hours slip through the cracks, and I pan back on when my mother was my age now, and remember her saying, "Honey, it passes by so quickly". Before I knew it, you grew from a young girl into a beautiful woman". She always did say how the time will go by quickly, which is why I really try to embrace the importance of my life here, what that all entails, and try to make it exactly the way I would like for it to be.
Life throws us obstacles of all sorts, but I am the kind of person that thinks there is nothing, NOTHING that we cannot overcome, with a little bit of faith and perseverance.
I am a huge believer in taking quiet time, and lots of it, to allow ourselves to get reacquainted with ourselves, again and again and again.
We are ever changing, moment to moment, wanting different things, changing our desires, our plots and plans for what we think our futures are, or even our next moments.
I think a good plan is good, but also, just for me, I think that being able to adopt a kind of fluidity in today's world is wise!
Why hold on to an idea, when there are so many miracles that come our way, so many circumstances that allow us to move in a direction that is generally what we want anyway, just maybe looks a bit different and is not what was mapped out on our canvas.
I always want to leave room for that fluidity.
Actually, it is the thing that works the best for me, and generally most people poo poo it because it is not a mainstream way of thinking.
I have always lived by my own rules. And really, they aren't really rules, just what has felt right, and have taken tons of risks to stay true to the calling that speaks to me so loudly in all of my moments.
Sometimes it even baffles me........
The information that is "handed" to me is perplexing to my mind, yet the feeling of "this is right" always takes precedence and I trust in a higher power that I believe has more knowledge than this tiny little brain. It's a highly "risky" way of thinking to most, but sheer brilliance to me.
I believe in that, and therefore try to balance the "calling" with my regular every day life that calls for routine, responsibility, and a vision of what it sees for not only itself, but for the whole. Humanity. The reason I am here and what I can be doing in simple ways to do, not only my part, but to grab a hold of what comes naturally to me and expound on IT, in ways that will raise the consciousness of our society, the people, no one better or worse, but people like you and me who could use a lesson or two on staying more true to ourselves, whether it be not acting out on someone in a robotic way, and taking responsibility for our actions, or walking down the road and picking up the glass bottle on the ground and pretending that you don't see it. Rather, pick it up, take it to your car and throw it away when you get home, ya know? Simple stuff like that.
I don't know.
If I were to look at life from the whole, I would totally get overwhelmed and depressed at how could someone like me make a difference, but when I look at my moments, my tiny little moments in my day, I ask myself everyday.......how can I make a difference???
Actually it isn't even a question anymore. I just move in that way. I like to make people smile. I like to just be there, with people, and even though observing them is a whole subject in and of itself, I sit back and giggle at the absurdity of personalities, how they operate and how, too, I can have more compassion for people, AND myself, who have flaws, scrapes and scabs that are deep seeded.
I think no matter where we all are, we think we are doing good, or doing the "right" thing. And that, to me, is the beauty of individuality.
We are all on our own individual treks.
I always want to remain innocent, yet wise.
If I am not experiencing that innocence throughout my day, I feel a sort of deadness.
I don't compare myself to anyone.
I have my own "rules of thumb" for a good life.
It may not be the same as Sally or Joe's, but I do have to say that I feel genuinely good when I think of my vision, or my thoughts for people and life, and the whole.
I don't know what I have done, or where I have been in the past that brings me to this sacred place, and really, I don't question it, but I do know that I am here for a reason, and it IS SPECIFIC!
Beyond that? I cannot tell you!
All I have is this precious moment, here on a Friday night.
I grilled a steak. I layed on my deck talking to one of my dogs, rubbing his belly, staring at the stars that are so darn bright tonight........
I giggled.
I thought about the absurdity of it all.......you know, this life, and all of it's charades............ and it faded into the back round.
I closed my eyes and connected to the source that fills me. Call it what you want!
I don't have to name it. Really, I don't!
It feels like a shame at times, for people who ask "How do you get there"?
I DO have a "formula" of sorts, that works for me. That is all I can say.
Everyone will do as they will and how they see fit for their lives.
I will always be here as a conduit, or some kinda cheerleader who will root for you to come "HOME".
Thank you so much for being a part of my life.
I am ever so grateful!
Love,
Gabriela
Sunday, March 27, 2011
I AM HERE....
as a conduit.
Please don't make me anything other.
I smile and give you joy because I can,
and because
it just
IS.
Please don't mold me
into something
that you want
me
to be.
I am merely
a conduit
of love.
Not to sound
esoteric
but to bring
things
to
a
reality.
I bring joy
because
I feel
joy.
I bring happiness
because
I feel
happiness.
It is that simple.
It is nothing
other.
No rhyme or
reason.
Simply
a love
and joy
for life
and for
people.
Being
genuine
is
a
passion.
If that is
my
worst
"fault"
imprison me!
~
Please don't make me anything other.
I smile and give you joy because I can,
and because
it just
IS.
Please don't mold me
into something
that you want
me
to be.
I am merely
a conduit
of love.
Not to sound
esoteric
but to bring
things
to
a
reality.
I bring joy
because
I feel
joy.
I bring happiness
because
I feel
happiness.
It is that simple.
It is nothing
other.
No rhyme or
reason.
Simply
a love
and joy
for life
and for
people.
Being
genuine
is
a
passion.
If that is
my
worst
"fault"
imprison me!
~
Tuesday, March 22, 2011
SIMPLICITY
I am genuinly happy.
I love waking up these days... ecstatic to go to work.
I LOVE what I do.
My days are conducive and peaceful.
When I get ino work classical music awaits me. Hello?
I have a beautiful puppy that awaits me, so sincere and loving.
I make and eat extremely conscious food. I share that with others. They are affected.
I feed and get to spend time with the most amazing animals. There is an unspoken language that is happening that is beyond comprehension.
The cycle of life is before me.
I am in it.
I am consciously deciding to live very specifically, and it does not have to be to anyone else's liking.
It is mine.
Colorful in it's way.
Risky.
Yet True!
There is a higher plan.
No one needs to know,
not even me.
It is happening all on it's own.
I'm just along for the ride.
Thank you for this amazing opportunity to participate in a life that only comes once 'roun!
I bow with great gratitude!
~
I love waking up these days... ecstatic to go to work.
I LOVE what I do.
My days are conducive and peaceful.
When I get ino work classical music awaits me. Hello?
I have a beautiful puppy that awaits me, so sincere and loving.
I make and eat extremely conscious food. I share that with others. They are affected.
I feed and get to spend time with the most amazing animals. There is an unspoken language that is happening that is beyond comprehension.
The cycle of life is before me.
I am in it.
I am consciously deciding to live very specifically, and it does not have to be to anyone else's liking.
It is mine.
Colorful in it's way.
Risky.
Yet True!
There is a higher plan.
No one needs to know,
not even me.
It is happening all on it's own.
I'm just along for the ride.
Thank you for this amazing opportunity to participate in a life that only comes once 'roun!
I bow with great gratitude!
~
Monday, March 14, 2011
THERE IS NO PLACE TO GO, NO PLACE TO BE
If we are immersed in the NOW, in the present moment, there would be no place to go, or no place to be. It would just simply BE!
Our days are so revealing, so to make some kind of blanket statement about our "future" is almost ludicrous!
It doesn't feel good to try to stay in the present moment because it X's out all of the variables, but in all honesty, the present moment brings to light the true reality of what is happening out there, or here, however you want to look at it.
It actually can give you a sort of relief, or reprieve from having to "do and go, and be" in the ways that we think we "should" or "shouldn't".
People get literally freaked out when you say you don't actually HAVE TO, have a plan, or visualize some "place to be".
I say go on ahead! Plan what you think you want. Just don't be attached to it!
Sometimes life hands you a better hand of cards than you were actually dealt.
By all means, look at the hand that you were dealt, but look to see what slips in through the back door.
I say look at all options but don't be stuck on ONE.
Be open to the option that isn't on your "chalkboard".
It generally is the one that will take you where you need to go.
I feel so humbled tonight.
My life is glorious, for lack of some extravagant word.
I am happy to be of service to people, to make some people smile, and to make "nothing" out of what seems to be "something" in my everyday life.
I don't want anything but to be immersed in godliness, in true purity and goodness.
However that shows up, I will follow.
Anything else will be a bore, and I will tire quickly.
Stay awake.
I am open!
I am utterly grateful!
Thank you!
~
Our days are so revealing, so to make some kind of blanket statement about our "future" is almost ludicrous!
It doesn't feel good to try to stay in the present moment because it X's out all of the variables, but in all honesty, the present moment brings to light the true reality of what is happening out there, or here, however you want to look at it.
It actually can give you a sort of relief, or reprieve from having to "do and go, and be" in the ways that we think we "should" or "shouldn't".
People get literally freaked out when you say you don't actually HAVE TO, have a plan, or visualize some "place to be".
I say go on ahead! Plan what you think you want. Just don't be attached to it!
Sometimes life hands you a better hand of cards than you were actually dealt.
By all means, look at the hand that you were dealt, but look to see what slips in through the back door.
I say look at all options but don't be stuck on ONE.
Be open to the option that isn't on your "chalkboard".
It generally is the one that will take you where you need to go.
I feel so humbled tonight.
My life is glorious, for lack of some extravagant word.
I am happy to be of service to people, to make some people smile, and to make "nothing" out of what seems to be "something" in my everyday life.
I don't want anything but to be immersed in godliness, in true purity and goodness.
However that shows up, I will follow.
Anything else will be a bore, and I will tire quickly.
Stay awake.
I am open!
I am utterly grateful!
Thank you!
~
Saturday, March 12, 2011
Wednesday, March 9, 2011
IT DOESN'T ALWAYS HAVE TO BE SO LONG....
......and this I must learn.
I have so very little time away from work and my responsabilites, that when I think of what that time "should" consist of, it never seems to be wanting to talk on the phone, engaging in any kind of conversation, or engaging, period.
But, life has it that we have to in one way or the other.
I am one that likes to balance the noise with the calm.
Thankfully, these days, my work life is extremely conducive, and therefore, the aftermath of that can actually be spent talking or engaging to some degree.
My last job never allowed that, and, I did it anyway. What did it do? It depleted me completely, leaving me dry and empty.
It left me with no hours to be alone, really, or any time to merge with the inner, to be able to express outwardly, wether it be my blog, or to a lover, the things that were important, or necessary to get off my chest, or just to share regular ol' life with, you know, silly stuff, passionate stuff, just daily life unfolding, and being able to objectify it, write the bare bones down, and call it a night.
I have a new job that I absolutely adore.
I begin my day with feeding doves, and goats, and chickens. I walk into a place that is quiet. I hear classical music walking in. I see and feel nature. It is conducive. Everywhere I look there is a shred of consciousness that reeks of growth, of learning, of a simple heart that has and is setting out to make a change for the betterment of human kind.
This......... I LOVE!
The days are short, for now, and maybe forever, but my time is always going to be spent contemplating life, and love and how to better ourselves, or the planet or our little environment to where it is of complete service, in every way.
People need to be payed attention to, without any conditions.
It is so lovely to be able to BE with people with nothing, NOTHING TO WANT OR NEED.
Just to be with them. To listen. To not have any kind of agenda, and to listen to them. Let them talk about their kids, their lives, their every, every, every, thing, and not have one judgement.
How beautiful to just.....................LISTEN........ with a very open heart.
I have to say that leaving my previous job has felt somewhat like a mother leaving a large nest.
To look back would only hinder the growth and not support it.
The babies must fly.
Well, I started out saying that it doesn't always have to be so long when we don't really have the time, but want to do "it" anyway.
Make that the phone or the text or the email, we do it anyway.
The point is... I want to write. I want to write all night long until I fall asleep at my computer, drained from thought, but know, the next morning, that I wrote until I just couldn't anymore.
This.....is passion.
Usually within a passion of any type of art, we bypass the what if's, the should's, the woulda coulda's, and all of that.
I hate a clock. I don't like to clock watch.
When you are passionate about something you "should" never watch a clock, but unfortunately, life comes into play and we have to gauge things, like sleep and what not............. IT'S CRAZY!
Sometimes I get crazy with.......who freakin' cares............. I will only live this life once.......or...........Holy Cripe........... I am no good with less than 8 or 7 hours of sleep.
I am opting for the balance tonight.
I want to write till the goats come home, but have 4 dogs and an ailing cat to tend to.........dishes piling up, and a consciousness that awaits me at my bed side, to sit, even for just a few moments, to read something, or feel something that will support my soul and it's intention in this life.
Even if it is for a moment before these eyes close, I will have known that I did my best, at the end of the day, to come full cirlcle, with my knowing, my growth, and too, my shortcomings. To bring it all together, with no judegements, or guilts, or any other thing that would seem less than the utter Truth.
I am here. Just being me, sharing my love, my Truth, and vulnerabilities in life, that set me asail, into a fine, fine existence that keeps it all real for me. Keeps me in line with a "god" that I have fallen deeply in love with.
A "God" that continuously calls me back to a simple and fine existence, that equals only love, only service to people, to human kind that needs a tender touch, or a tender heart to eleviate some sort of pain that is happening.
This could be with a brother, or sister, or colleague, or............ some random Third World Country person that has stolen your heart......who knows!
It is all ONE IN THE SAME!
NONE OF US ARE DIFFERENT!
WE ARE ALL
ONE
IN
THE
SAME!
~
I have so very little time away from work and my responsabilites, that when I think of what that time "should" consist of, it never seems to be wanting to talk on the phone, engaging in any kind of conversation, or engaging, period.
But, life has it that we have to in one way or the other.
I am one that likes to balance the noise with the calm.
Thankfully, these days, my work life is extremely conducive, and therefore, the aftermath of that can actually be spent talking or engaging to some degree.
My last job never allowed that, and, I did it anyway. What did it do? It depleted me completely, leaving me dry and empty.
It left me with no hours to be alone, really, or any time to merge with the inner, to be able to express outwardly, wether it be my blog, or to a lover, the things that were important, or necessary to get off my chest, or just to share regular ol' life with, you know, silly stuff, passionate stuff, just daily life unfolding, and being able to objectify it, write the bare bones down, and call it a night.
I have a new job that I absolutely adore.
I begin my day with feeding doves, and goats, and chickens. I walk into a place that is quiet. I hear classical music walking in. I see and feel nature. It is conducive. Everywhere I look there is a shred of consciousness that reeks of growth, of learning, of a simple heart that has and is setting out to make a change for the betterment of human kind.
This......... I LOVE!
The days are short, for now, and maybe forever, but my time is always going to be spent contemplating life, and love and how to better ourselves, or the planet or our little environment to where it is of complete service, in every way.
People need to be payed attention to, without any conditions.
It is so lovely to be able to BE with people with nothing, NOTHING TO WANT OR NEED.
Just to be with them. To listen. To not have any kind of agenda, and to listen to them. Let them talk about their kids, their lives, their every, every, every, thing, and not have one judgement.
How beautiful to just.....................LISTEN........ with a very open heart.
I have to say that leaving my previous job has felt somewhat like a mother leaving a large nest.
To look back would only hinder the growth and not support it.
The babies must fly.
Well, I started out saying that it doesn't always have to be so long when we don't really have the time, but want to do "it" anyway.
Make that the phone or the text or the email, we do it anyway.
The point is... I want to write. I want to write all night long until I fall asleep at my computer, drained from thought, but know, the next morning, that I wrote until I just couldn't anymore.
This.....is passion.
Usually within a passion of any type of art, we bypass the what if's, the should's, the woulda coulda's, and all of that.
I hate a clock. I don't like to clock watch.
When you are passionate about something you "should" never watch a clock, but unfortunately, life comes into play and we have to gauge things, like sleep and what not............. IT'S CRAZY!
Sometimes I get crazy with.......who freakin' cares............. I will only live this life once.......or...........Holy Cripe........... I am no good with less than 8 or 7 hours of sleep.
I am opting for the balance tonight.
I want to write till the goats come home, but have 4 dogs and an ailing cat to tend to.........dishes piling up, and a consciousness that awaits me at my bed side, to sit, even for just a few moments, to read something, or feel something that will support my soul and it's intention in this life.
Even if it is for a moment before these eyes close, I will have known that I did my best, at the end of the day, to come full cirlcle, with my knowing, my growth, and too, my shortcomings. To bring it all together, with no judegements, or guilts, or any other thing that would seem less than the utter Truth.
I am here. Just being me, sharing my love, my Truth, and vulnerabilities in life, that set me asail, into a fine, fine existence that keeps it all real for me. Keeps me in line with a "god" that I have fallen deeply in love with.
A "God" that continuously calls me back to a simple and fine existence, that equals only love, only service to people, to human kind that needs a tender touch, or a tender heart to eleviate some sort of pain that is happening.
This could be with a brother, or sister, or colleague, or............ some random Third World Country person that has stolen your heart......who knows!
It is all ONE IN THE SAME!
NONE OF US ARE DIFFERENT!
WE ARE ALL
ONE
IN
THE
SAME!
~
Monday, March 7, 2011
TRANSITIONS
Man oh, man oh, man!!! Life really does bring along some change. I think change is healthy, and keeps us current on who we are, what we are about, and how we are going to stay present day in our lives, our decisions and how we will make that happen in our daily lives.......you know, stuff that is going to be pretty close to our core, what we are made up of, and how that will show in our world.
I just made a bold move and left a company I have been with for four years.
I am still grieving the process. The people, the connections, the friends, the "family".
I have made so many beautiful connections. People that not only respond to a warm heart and good food, but people that respond to a higher consciousness. People that are responding to something that they have no idea why?? Wondering why they are so attracted??
It is not me, by any means, but the love that I have encountered in this life. Something that has become my "drug" of choice.
It is not me really, just an outer expression of a love that is experienced inside. People don't get that too often. It makes me sad.
I have had the luxury to explore and experience love in the most exquisite ways.
It is contagious, whether it be through conversation, a workout program, a diet plan, or planting trees in your yard........there is always an excuse to share love, give love in the highest of ways.
I love the fact that I have been able to make a decision to change jobs, knowing that I am moving from something "comfortable" to something that is closer to who I am and gives me life!
It doesn't mean though, that the transition will be easy. Although I had a wonderful day at my new job, there was a serious grieving.
I have met the most wonderful people, have made the most incredible connections, and have been able to pull up a chair to listen to the lives, the stories, the love, the heartaches, the regular every day lives that happen, and....... been able to lend an ear over pasta and meatballs. A glass of wine! Or an espresso.
It is not a small thing!
At least to me!
I was brought up that way.
Not only was I brought up that way, I was brought up to greet you all at the door, to take your coat, and hand you food, drink or whatever it was to make you feel comfortable, as soon as possible so there was no room to make you feel less that wanted, or needed, or payed attention to.
That is my schooling!
My mother was good like that. Not only good. She truly excelled in being there for people.
As long as she felt she was giving, and helping, she was satisfied.
There I am!
It's only been a few days.
I have mixed emotions, but I know they will sort themselves out.
I absolutely love my new road. It is learning, and doing and being the very things that will shape my future. Things I will feel comfortable and confident with, knowing that I will be able to pass this conscious information on to others, to be able to give in a way that is not selfish, but aware, globally, spiritually, and locally.
I feel super humbled tonight, I really do!
My day has been full with so much I can hardly stand it.
I need to rest. Take in what life is offering me and to empty my cup so that come tomorrow morning when the chickens are calling me, I can absorb what really is being said, and move on within my day, knowing that I truly WAS clued in, and trekking upon my day in that reality, and giggling. Truly giggling at the absurdity of it all.
The talk, the thoughts, the actions................all of it!
At some point we just have to stop and silently look at it all, and know, instantaneously, that it is God "tripping us up", trying to see just where we are at, and just how serious we are all taking this to begin with.
I got it! I got it! I swear!
I just get tired sometimes, just like everyone else!
Touche' to living! To experiencing, and for feeling every last emotion that this body could ever possibly experience~
I love you all beyond words, beyond any kind of expression.
Thank you for your presence in my life!
I am ever so grateful!
~
I just made a bold move and left a company I have been with for four years.
I am still grieving the process. The people, the connections, the friends, the "family".
I have made so many beautiful connections. People that not only respond to a warm heart and good food, but people that respond to a higher consciousness. People that are responding to something that they have no idea why?? Wondering why they are so attracted??
It is not me, by any means, but the love that I have encountered in this life. Something that has become my "drug" of choice.
It is not me really, just an outer expression of a love that is experienced inside. People don't get that too often. It makes me sad.
I have had the luxury to explore and experience love in the most exquisite ways.
It is contagious, whether it be through conversation, a workout program, a diet plan, or planting trees in your yard........there is always an excuse to share love, give love in the highest of ways.
I love the fact that I have been able to make a decision to change jobs, knowing that I am moving from something "comfortable" to something that is closer to who I am and gives me life!
It doesn't mean though, that the transition will be easy. Although I had a wonderful day at my new job, there was a serious grieving.
I have met the most wonderful people, have made the most incredible connections, and have been able to pull up a chair to listen to the lives, the stories, the love, the heartaches, the regular every day lives that happen, and....... been able to lend an ear over pasta and meatballs. A glass of wine! Or an espresso.
It is not a small thing!
At least to me!
I was brought up that way.
Not only was I brought up that way, I was brought up to greet you all at the door, to take your coat, and hand you food, drink or whatever it was to make you feel comfortable, as soon as possible so there was no room to make you feel less that wanted, or needed, or payed attention to.
That is my schooling!
My mother was good like that. Not only good. She truly excelled in being there for people.
As long as she felt she was giving, and helping, she was satisfied.
There I am!
It's only been a few days.
I have mixed emotions, but I know they will sort themselves out.
I absolutely love my new road. It is learning, and doing and being the very things that will shape my future. Things I will feel comfortable and confident with, knowing that I will be able to pass this conscious information on to others, to be able to give in a way that is not selfish, but aware, globally, spiritually, and locally.
I feel super humbled tonight, I really do!
My day has been full with so much I can hardly stand it.
I need to rest. Take in what life is offering me and to empty my cup so that come tomorrow morning when the chickens are calling me, I can absorb what really is being said, and move on within my day, knowing that I truly WAS clued in, and trekking upon my day in that reality, and giggling. Truly giggling at the absurdity of it all.
The talk, the thoughts, the actions................all of it!
At some point we just have to stop and silently look at it all, and know, instantaneously, that it is God "tripping us up", trying to see just where we are at, and just how serious we are all taking this to begin with.
I got it! I got it! I swear!
I just get tired sometimes, just like everyone else!
Touche' to living! To experiencing, and for feeling every last emotion that this body could ever possibly experience~
I love you all beyond words, beyond any kind of expression.
Thank you for your presence in my life!
I am ever so grateful!
~
Sunday, March 6, 2011
Saturday, March 5, 2011
NEVER ENOUGH TIME!
It seems as if there is never enough time to do the things we REALLY want to do, and yet, as my days go on, I keep making risky decisions to make sure that ISN'T my reality.
For me? I need to stay true to exactly what I want!
I know there are always going to be obstacles. Situations that will tell me time and time again that "That isn't going to happen because of this or that".
Bull!
Anything! Anything can happen if we want it to!
Those aren't spiritual words or fun words to play with because they seem "correct".
It IS A REALITY.
A specific way of thinking and............BEING............. a way that, when focused upon, will take you to major freakin heights!
Don't laugh!
That is just my way of expressing because I can.
The bottom line is........
We can do whatever the heck we want...........when we want. We just have to see it through, at least in our minds eye first.
It's so funny cuz most of the things we want are so simple and easily attainable, but with our everyday lives, and how we interpret that, it seems like a huge pie in the sky thing, to actually grab a hold of a dream or two.
Lie! Lie! And huge ..................LIE!
It really is just plotting things out in our mind first. Then figuring a plan, no matter how big or small. Just have some sort of plan, and write down the bare bones of what it would take to actually do that very thing.
Who cares how big or small it may be?
No matter. It can be achieved! I mean, why not????
Life is moving very fast. Right before our eyes.
Why are we procrastinating on small matters? Small things?
It's OK to think about it for a second or two, but really?! Life is happening. Our reason, our purpose is calling us to make some sort of sense of this life. Make some sort of sense of WHY?
What will we have to say come that time?
Do we really have a solid answer?
I dunno... for you!
What do you think?
I know for me!!
I'm cool with that!
Are you?
~
For me? I need to stay true to exactly what I want!
I know there are always going to be obstacles. Situations that will tell me time and time again that "That isn't going to happen because of this or that".
Bull!
Anything! Anything can happen if we want it to!
Those aren't spiritual words or fun words to play with because they seem "correct".
It IS A REALITY.
A specific way of thinking and............BEING............. a way that, when focused upon, will take you to major freakin heights!
Don't laugh!
That is just my way of expressing because I can.
The bottom line is........
We can do whatever the heck we want...........when we want. We just have to see it through, at least in our minds eye first.
It's so funny cuz most of the things we want are so simple and easily attainable, but with our everyday lives, and how we interpret that, it seems like a huge pie in the sky thing, to actually grab a hold of a dream or two.
Lie! Lie! And huge ..................LIE!
It really is just plotting things out in our mind first. Then figuring a plan, no matter how big or small. Just have some sort of plan, and write down the bare bones of what it would take to actually do that very thing.
Who cares how big or small it may be?
No matter. It can be achieved! I mean, why not????
Life is moving very fast. Right before our eyes.
Why are we procrastinating on small matters? Small things?
It's OK to think about it for a second or two, but really?! Life is happening. Our reason, our purpose is calling us to make some sort of sense of this life. Make some sort of sense of WHY?
What will we have to say come that time?
Do we really have a solid answer?
I dunno... for you!
What do you think?
I know for me!!
I'm cool with that!
Are you?
~
Friday, February 18, 2011
MINDFULNESS
Mindfulness is the energy that allows us to look deeply at our body, feelings, perceptions, mental fomations and consciousness and see clearly what our real needs are, so we won't drown in the sea of suffering. Eventually love fills our mind and our will, and all our actions from that time on manifest love.
Speech and actions are the fruit of will, so when our will is permeated by love, our speech and actions are also suffused with love.
We speak only loving and constructive words and act only in ways that bring happiness and relieve suffering.
~
Speech and actions are the fruit of will, so when our will is permeated by love, our speech and actions are also suffused with love.
We speak only loving and constructive words and act only in ways that bring happiness and relieve suffering.
~
Wednesday, February 16, 2011
MAKING EVERY MOMENT WORTHWHILE
I miss writing my blog, and so many times it seems as if time slips me by, and there are never enough moments in the day to do everything I want to do, or accomplish what I want, to feel "complete" so to speak.
My writing this blog is as much for me as it is for you, so even if I only give 5 minutes, and it is a quick blurt of consciousness, than I will feel somewhat satiated. I won't lie, I will never be fulfilled by that, but it will at least comfort me in knowing that I am making an effort outside of the norm of what is going on.
I had an amazing 2 days off.
Not much going on at all!!! Just knowing I had two consecutive days off, brought sheer joy to my face and to my ever so hungry soul that is vying for it's own time to come back to itself, to rejoice in it's own glory. You know, the mundane things that people call boring, that I call exquisite!!
Mundane is my middle name. I don't care what people think of me. Hay, I like taking out the damn trash. I like bathing my dogs. I like picking up deer leg bones that my dog prowled around for the night before. I like doing dishes, cleaning and making my house look pretty.
I mean, don't get me wrong. I've missed way to many movies in the past few years due to circumstances out of my control, and movies, you should know, ARE MY THING!!!
There are so many hours in the day, and I would like to think that I have or had made the most out of what my days are.
Most times I think they are boring, but when I revisit what has gone on in my head, I say to myself, "Holy Shit woman, you are so on to something", and then I go about my day in a knowing that I have plans. Plans for myself, plans for the world, and plans for anyone who is aboard this tiny ship of hope!
Life is truly amazing and there is so much to see, so much to experience, outside of ideas. Ideas of the norm. Ideas of how we should go about our trek in the world. Ideas period!!
It is not about following a certain someone. It is not about doing what we think is "right" in the world.
To me, it is about doing what feels whole, and pure, and using that as a tool to make this world a better place, no matter where you are, no matter what you are doing, and certainly, no matter what is going on in your world.
No one is perfect. If you have a vision......share it!!! Just because your credit may suck, or you are just exiting a horrible relationship....... or you have a bad history because of this or that, IT DOES NOT MATTER.
WHAT MATTERS IS YOUR HEART!
WHERE ARE YOU?
WHAT IS YOUR PURPOSE?
I do not care what your past is! Really..........why should it matter?
Every moment here is worth while. It really is!!
You are an important being to me.
There is a reason you are here............to me........at least.
Stretch your soul! Do what you think you cannot do, no matter what it is!!! Lose the weight, say you are sorry, run the marathon, stand up for yourself, be the being that you are meant to be!!!
What ever it is.............do it........with integrity.......with intention..................... do it with your whole being who screams to be heard for all of it's genuineness, in wanting to participate in life, and the workings of love.
You may not call it that, but that is what I have deemed it!
Risk everything for love. Risk everything for expression! True expression of the soul.
That is where I will meet you! To engage, or not engage! There is a full life in both of those realities.
I will meet you there!
~
My writing this blog is as much for me as it is for you, so even if I only give 5 minutes, and it is a quick blurt of consciousness, than I will feel somewhat satiated. I won't lie, I will never be fulfilled by that, but it will at least comfort me in knowing that I am making an effort outside of the norm of what is going on.
I had an amazing 2 days off.
Not much going on at all!!! Just knowing I had two consecutive days off, brought sheer joy to my face and to my ever so hungry soul that is vying for it's own time to come back to itself, to rejoice in it's own glory. You know, the mundane things that people call boring, that I call exquisite!!
Mundane is my middle name. I don't care what people think of me. Hay, I like taking out the damn trash. I like bathing my dogs. I like picking up deer leg bones that my dog prowled around for the night before. I like doing dishes, cleaning and making my house look pretty.
I mean, don't get me wrong. I've missed way to many movies in the past few years due to circumstances out of my control, and movies, you should know, ARE MY THING!!!
There are so many hours in the day, and I would like to think that I have or had made the most out of what my days are.
Most times I think they are boring, but when I revisit what has gone on in my head, I say to myself, "Holy Shit woman, you are so on to something", and then I go about my day in a knowing that I have plans. Plans for myself, plans for the world, and plans for anyone who is aboard this tiny ship of hope!
Life is truly amazing and there is so much to see, so much to experience, outside of ideas. Ideas of the norm. Ideas of how we should go about our trek in the world. Ideas period!!
It is not about following a certain someone. It is not about doing what we think is "right" in the world.
To me, it is about doing what feels whole, and pure, and using that as a tool to make this world a better place, no matter where you are, no matter what you are doing, and certainly, no matter what is going on in your world.
No one is perfect. If you have a vision......share it!!! Just because your credit may suck, or you are just exiting a horrible relationship....... or you have a bad history because of this or that, IT DOES NOT MATTER.
WHAT MATTERS IS YOUR HEART!
WHERE ARE YOU?
WHAT IS YOUR PURPOSE?
I do not care what your past is! Really..........why should it matter?
Every moment here is worth while. It really is!!
You are an important being to me.
There is a reason you are here............to me........at least.
Stretch your soul! Do what you think you cannot do, no matter what it is!!! Lose the weight, say you are sorry, run the marathon, stand up for yourself, be the being that you are meant to be!!!
What ever it is.............do it........with integrity.......with intention..................... do it with your whole being who screams to be heard for all of it's genuineness, in wanting to participate in life, and the workings of love.
You may not call it that, but that is what I have deemed it!
Risk everything for love. Risk everything for expression! True expression of the soul.
That is where I will meet you! To engage, or not engage! There is a full life in both of those realities.
I will meet you there!
~
Tuesday, February 15, 2011
WHERE ARE YOU NOW?
This seems to be a reoccurring question for me.
Where am I in this stage of my evolution?
What is important to me right at this very moment in time?
What do I need to change up?
How can I maneuver in this world when all things seem to be against me?
How do I bust out of that box and do something a little bit different?
I have done things in the past, and it worked for me then. Now, I have some things that keep me more "on ground" so to speak, but even considering that, I know myself. I will find a crazy, eclectic way to get out, like freakin' Houdini, to prove everyone wrong, that you can never be "caged" and that there IS a way, NO MATTER WHAT, to get out of the things that seem to keep us bound so tightly!
I feel as if I have been on a tour of the world lately. Viewing the world, as it is, in all aspects. I do have to say that I have not gotten current on all of the events that are happening in the world. My time is so limited outside of work, and the last thing I want to do is listen to the news, as depressing as it gets. I still want to be abreast of what is happening globally. Balancing all aspects of what I think is healthy, and conducive seems like a full time job, outside of my job, that takes so much of my time, it perplexes me! It really does.
I look at the amount of time spent at my job, pan back on what it is that I am here for, and how I want to maneuver in this world and I think............ hmmmmmmmmmmmmm!!!! What is it really, that I want to change up, or how, on god's earth am I going to make a difference where I am at, with the people.... and too, with the customers that respond to me so well?
Is there a place for me? Is there room for a consciousness there that maybe I am overseeing?
I mean the gems that happen with some of my clientele are just mind blowing. But that is only a percentage.
I can do that anywhere!!
There are people who want to know something different than the status quo.
THAT IS WHERE MY INTEREST/ HEART LIES!
Please, don't tell me about the video you watched, or the hamburger you ate, and how you got so drunk last night that you had no idea how you made it through your day! I will yawn alllllllllllllll day!
Where, dear God, are the people who get away from the norm?????
Who? Please tell me WHO................. is interested in living and viewing life in a different way, outside of what seems to be good, or prosperous, or another notch on their belt, or the ones who think they have made it when they have received yet another award, or plaque, or have climbed the ladder of so called "success".
GOD DAMN..........WHAT DOES SUCCESS MEAN TO YOU? REALLY? PLEASE TELL ME? LET ME UNDERSTAND, OUTSIDE OF MY IDEA.
If it is THAT GREAT, than I will certainly show up and participate in every and all events, and hopefully celebrate in a whole way that will shake me to my core!!!!
What will shake me to my core?
I ask myself that every moment of my days. I kid you not.
If I feel off the mark, I ask myself what it is that I need to do to get me back in the reality of being "on the mark".
I know when I need to get quiet. To hear God's whisper, to tell me what, when, how, and not necessarily why, but maybe a gentle reminder that guides me in a direction that answers the whys for me.
This way is specific. Detailed. Sexy. On the money. And every bit of interesting to me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I could care less about the everyday norm.I could care less what you do........ what label clothing you have......how successful your friends are...........how they have made a "mark" in society........ it's good in that they have achieved their own personal goals...........but in essence........ eh..........ya know?
I don't want to be successful in any certain area.
I want to LOVE!
I want to practice compassion.
I want to embrace all moments, hard, sad, grief, glory, you name it........ I want to be what I think is admirable........something worth teaching people to be......outside of ideas............ to actually live a life that is of service.............. in a whole and pure way.
Hay, but that is just me, ya know?
I'm not trying to mold anyone to be a certain way, or live a certain way.
I'm just me!
People seem to gravitate toward me.
I think it has nothing to do with anything but the energy of love that I am in. The love that I feel. The love that is dancing inside of me.
No one knows what to do with it!
Sometimes, actually........... I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO WITH IT!!!!!!
How funny is that???
This is why I require alone time!
To keep my idea of what I think is important, in perspective.
I don't want anything. I really don't.
My life boils down to a simple formula that encomasses Truth, and love, and service, and a message.
I don't push anything. I just send out my little vibe. If it is cool with you, then great. Hop on! If not, that is so ok too. I am not a recruiter, or anyone that thinks my way is the way. I just have had the most phenomenal experiences and it seems to be a kind of "highway robbery" if I didn't share what it has been like along the way, and how it has transformed my entire life.
I am crazy passionate about my trek here. It is extremely hot! So on the money! So........... well.............to me............
purposeful!
That is all that matters, to me, in the bigger scheme of things.............
to me
at least!
I love you all so, so much. Thank you for always being who you are, and for listening to my messages that are so important to me.
~
Where am I in this stage of my evolution?
What is important to me right at this very moment in time?
What do I need to change up?
How can I maneuver in this world when all things seem to be against me?
How do I bust out of that box and do something a little bit different?
I have done things in the past, and it worked for me then. Now, I have some things that keep me more "on ground" so to speak, but even considering that, I know myself. I will find a crazy, eclectic way to get out, like freakin' Houdini, to prove everyone wrong, that you can never be "caged" and that there IS a way, NO MATTER WHAT, to get out of the things that seem to keep us bound so tightly!
I feel as if I have been on a tour of the world lately. Viewing the world, as it is, in all aspects. I do have to say that I have not gotten current on all of the events that are happening in the world. My time is so limited outside of work, and the last thing I want to do is listen to the news, as depressing as it gets. I still want to be abreast of what is happening globally. Balancing all aspects of what I think is healthy, and conducive seems like a full time job, outside of my job, that takes so much of my time, it perplexes me! It really does.
I look at the amount of time spent at my job, pan back on what it is that I am here for, and how I want to maneuver in this world and I think............ hmmmmmmmmmmmmm!!!! What is it really, that I want to change up, or how, on god's earth am I going to make a difference where I am at, with the people.... and too, with the customers that respond to me so well?
Is there a place for me? Is there room for a consciousness there that maybe I am overseeing?
I mean the gems that happen with some of my clientele are just mind blowing. But that is only a percentage.
I can do that anywhere!!
There are people who want to know something different than the status quo.
THAT IS WHERE MY INTEREST/ HEART LIES!
Please, don't tell me about the video you watched, or the hamburger you ate, and how you got so drunk last night that you had no idea how you made it through your day! I will yawn alllllllllllllll day!
Where, dear God, are the people who get away from the norm?????
Who? Please tell me WHO................. is interested in living and viewing life in a different way, outside of what seems to be good, or prosperous, or another notch on their belt, or the ones who think they have made it when they have received yet another award, or plaque, or have climbed the ladder of so called "success".
GOD DAMN..........WHAT DOES SUCCESS MEAN TO YOU? REALLY? PLEASE TELL ME? LET ME UNDERSTAND, OUTSIDE OF MY IDEA.
If it is THAT GREAT, than I will certainly show up and participate in every and all events, and hopefully celebrate in a whole way that will shake me to my core!!!!
What will shake me to my core?
I ask myself that every moment of my days. I kid you not.
If I feel off the mark, I ask myself what it is that I need to do to get me back in the reality of being "on the mark".
I know when I need to get quiet. To hear God's whisper, to tell me what, when, how, and not necessarily why, but maybe a gentle reminder that guides me in a direction that answers the whys for me.
This way is specific. Detailed. Sexy. On the money. And every bit of interesting to me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I could care less about the everyday norm.I could care less what you do........ what label clothing you have......how successful your friends are...........how they have made a "mark" in society........ it's good in that they have achieved their own personal goals...........but in essence........ eh..........ya know?
I don't want to be successful in any certain area.
I want to LOVE!
I want to practice compassion.
I want to embrace all moments, hard, sad, grief, glory, you name it........ I want to be what I think is admirable........something worth teaching people to be......outside of ideas............ to actually live a life that is of service.............. in a whole and pure way.
Hay, but that is just me, ya know?
I'm not trying to mold anyone to be a certain way, or live a certain way.
I'm just me!
People seem to gravitate toward me.
I think it has nothing to do with anything but the energy of love that I am in. The love that I feel. The love that is dancing inside of me.
No one knows what to do with it!
Sometimes, actually........... I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO WITH IT!!!!!!
How funny is that???
This is why I require alone time!
To keep my idea of what I think is important, in perspective.
I don't want anything. I really don't.
My life boils down to a simple formula that encomasses Truth, and love, and service, and a message.
I don't push anything. I just send out my little vibe. If it is cool with you, then great. Hop on! If not, that is so ok too. I am not a recruiter, or anyone that thinks my way is the way. I just have had the most phenomenal experiences and it seems to be a kind of "highway robbery" if I didn't share what it has been like along the way, and how it has transformed my entire life.
I am crazy passionate about my trek here. It is extremely hot! So on the money! So........... well.............to me............
purposeful!
That is all that matters, to me, in the bigger scheme of things.............
to me
at least!
I love you all so, so much. Thank you for always being who you are, and for listening to my messages that are so important to me.
~
Saturday, January 15, 2011
RAINDROPS KEEP FALLIN' ON MY HEAD
A song my Dad used to sing to me time and time again as a child.
It is raining this morning.
I woke up early, looked out of my bedroom doors and just stared at the lake, the mist hovering over it, and the mystical energy that I felt inside, knowing deeply, I am on to something, and it is continuing to grow at such a pace, that if I don't make the time necessary, it will pass me by with the blink of an eye.
I sat up and meditated....... it just blew me right out of the water.
How to simplify my life so that THAT IS where my energy goes to. Really...it is at the point where risk taking is at it's best, and whether or not ANYONE ELSE is doing it or not, I am in flight, and nothing really will stop me.
I am reveling in a treasure that I have found or, has found me.
I went for a walk in the rain this morning and just feeling the drops on my face, on my hair, the mist brushing up against my face........ told me a thousand stories. I didn't want to come home, nor get ready for work, or even anticipate seeing one single person.
The feeling that came over me was so deep, so guttural, so telling, yet no words formed.
I stopped by my mailbox. It seems as if I haven't even gotten my mail lately. The weather has been cold, rainy, and so the dogs haven't even gotten their regular walks, thus, no walks to the mailbox.
The only reason I love going actually is because I know I will eventually sift through and find a card from my Uncle Dick which delights me like nothing other.
I always feel like I want to write down his words. So tender, so real, so simple and right where I am at in this moment in time, in my precious life. He mirrors the most beautiful love. His paintings, which are the cards that he sends me. Pencil drawings of lighthouses, which are my favorite, and beautiful nature, my god, just everything.......and always in his cards he writes how he sees me doing certain things in the picture, like sitting in the barn or in the hay, watching this or that, or like today, he said, "Did you find yourself in the tree? I know you are peeking out."
There is a innocence that beckons me, and this is the kind of thing that enraptures me, and keeps me in the very place that feels as if I am making love in the most tender ways. Making love with an experience that is growing and growing and I just cannot seem to keep the smile off of my face. (nor do I want to).
My entire life is sitting on the edge of a cliff. I'm standing with my arms wide open, disappearing into a silence that tells me everything I need to know.
One thing I know is that I will never have the answers to anything. The beauty of that is, when I am ultimately quiet, and communing with what I know to be the Source, the deep well, the mystery inside......... there is a whispering that happens. In that whispering, I listen intently, and there it all is. Every answer I need. Every clue, to when to do, not to do, how to do, if I should, if I shouldn't, what direction next..........all of it! If the whispering is too low, and I cannot seem to hear it, it only indicates that I need to get even more quiet, more, more and more.........until I hear it so clear that there is no question as to what the information is.
That may mean a number of things in my life, from no noise, to going for quiet walks, to sitting still for minutes, hours upon hours. It may just mean sitting and watching the birds, or listening to the symphony, or not.............
It's a standing still amongst the "wars". Wars in our heads, war of the world, wars right outside our doors.
There is a magic to be had in and amongst all of this, and it feels so good to know that magic is right at my finger tips, now and always.
Simplicity equals magic.
I am very grateful for all of the magic in my world and for the blessed opportunity I have in this life to be able to share that ray of light, wherever I am, whoever I am with.
I am so grateful.
The rain continues to tell me stories as I sit here.
I'm going to go listen..............
it's good stuff.
I will keep you posted.
The whispering has begun.
All of my love,
as always,
Gabriela
It is raining this morning.
I woke up early, looked out of my bedroom doors and just stared at the lake, the mist hovering over it, and the mystical energy that I felt inside, knowing deeply, I am on to something, and it is continuing to grow at such a pace, that if I don't make the time necessary, it will pass me by with the blink of an eye.
I sat up and meditated....... it just blew me right out of the water.
How to simplify my life so that THAT IS where my energy goes to. Really...it is at the point where risk taking is at it's best, and whether or not ANYONE ELSE is doing it or not, I am in flight, and nothing really will stop me.
I am reveling in a treasure that I have found or, has found me.
I went for a walk in the rain this morning and just feeling the drops on my face, on my hair, the mist brushing up against my face........ told me a thousand stories. I didn't want to come home, nor get ready for work, or even anticipate seeing one single person.
The feeling that came over me was so deep, so guttural, so telling, yet no words formed.
I stopped by my mailbox. It seems as if I haven't even gotten my mail lately. The weather has been cold, rainy, and so the dogs haven't even gotten their regular walks, thus, no walks to the mailbox.
The only reason I love going actually is because I know I will eventually sift through and find a card from my Uncle Dick which delights me like nothing other.
I always feel like I want to write down his words. So tender, so real, so simple and right where I am at in this moment in time, in my precious life. He mirrors the most beautiful love. His paintings, which are the cards that he sends me. Pencil drawings of lighthouses, which are my favorite, and beautiful nature, my god, just everything.......and always in his cards he writes how he sees me doing certain things in the picture, like sitting in the barn or in the hay, watching this or that, or like today, he said, "Did you find yourself in the tree? I know you are peeking out."
There is a innocence that beckons me, and this is the kind of thing that enraptures me, and keeps me in the very place that feels as if I am making love in the most tender ways. Making love with an experience that is growing and growing and I just cannot seem to keep the smile off of my face. (nor do I want to).
My entire life is sitting on the edge of a cliff. I'm standing with my arms wide open, disappearing into a silence that tells me everything I need to know.
One thing I know is that I will never have the answers to anything. The beauty of that is, when I am ultimately quiet, and communing with what I know to be the Source, the deep well, the mystery inside......... there is a whispering that happens. In that whispering, I listen intently, and there it all is. Every answer I need. Every clue, to when to do, not to do, how to do, if I should, if I shouldn't, what direction next..........all of it! If the whispering is too low, and I cannot seem to hear it, it only indicates that I need to get even more quiet, more, more and more.........until I hear it so clear that there is no question as to what the information is.
That may mean a number of things in my life, from no noise, to going for quiet walks, to sitting still for minutes, hours upon hours. It may just mean sitting and watching the birds, or listening to the symphony, or not.............
It's a standing still amongst the "wars". Wars in our heads, war of the world, wars right outside our doors.
There is a magic to be had in and amongst all of this, and it feels so good to know that magic is right at my finger tips, now and always.
Simplicity equals magic.
I am very grateful for all of the magic in my world and for the blessed opportunity I have in this life to be able to share that ray of light, wherever I am, whoever I am with.
I am so grateful.
The rain continues to tell me stories as I sit here.
I'm going to go listen..............
it's good stuff.
I will keep you posted.
The whispering has begun.
All of my love,
as always,
Gabriela
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