....... in my small opinion, will only be fulfilled when we discover that the lover we TRULY seek is divine, and beyond finding anywhere outside of ourselves.
I know so many people who often get frustrated when they discover that their deepest longing, never, really goes away, IF.............IF.......... they are truly honest!
They get married, and eventually fantasize about another partner. They move to a lovely place and soon wish they were closer to the ideal children they once hoped for.
They have the money, the career, and the home they always wanted, and yet, this isn't enough to quell the motor of desire that hums incessantly somewhere beneath the heart. The proverbial "eye over the shoulder" syndrome. One in which I have, over the years, have grown to dislike/embrace as a human reality, and pattern of the mind that I don't really think will get squelched anytime soon.
Desire is the proper atmosphere of the sexual "kingdom". It keeps people "alive" and moving along.
It keeps us in touch with memories, warm , joyful and sad, and it allows us entry into the world of imagination when all around us practicality is insistent.
From the view point of the soul, desire, simply is; it need not be satisfied! I know that sounds utterly crazy, but just read it, and let it sink in, even if it is just as a mere thought. Consider the thought! Please!
Longing for chocolate, say, might be a small desire that resides in the larger one that yearns for the sweet life. And so every desire is worth paying attention to, even though we know that if we track it far enough, we will discover that this longing will never, ever cease. I truly, truly believe this! Same with food, or alcohol or drugs.
They all are trying to get you to a place much higher than what you feel physically. In all honesty, I don't judge! Everything is a stepping stone. I don't think anything in our vortex is actually bad, if you look at it from the perspective as, "everything being a stepping stone, or a teacher" .
That is my definition of divinity from the view point of sexuality.
That full, bittersweet, empty feeling is like incense in a church, or temple. It announces the Presence of "God".
Sexuality certainly brings people together and makes life feel full and vital. I have been there, and have witnessed the extremities of validation through sex, and intimacy, but have come to know that it certainly is NOT the end all of the human race, by all means. Can I say that again............BY ALL MEANS!
Simply I just don't think we were taught anything different. So, we are programmed to do, and feel, and supposedly "like" all the goin on's.
To me, and how I was brought up.......you don't have sex until you are married, and before that? Hay, wadyou mean, you feel things?? Get rid of it until you are married. There was no talk of "choice". As a matter of fact, what choice? You have sex, when it is time, and even with that, there is no talk of how, what is expected, if you even feel like it...........I mean, what if you don't even feel like doing all that? Who says??? And at what age, or time frame?" Get outa here", is what I say.
Not to get all personal, but, I will heeee...........
My first time........ you know, the FIRST TIME........... afterwards I was like............. YOU HAVE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME! THIS IS WHAT ALL THE HUB UB IS ABOUT?
Completely disappointed, and........not surprised at my disappointment, for some intuitive reason.
Sex is never a purely physical act, to me, at least.
It is always numinous, even when it is not perfect, or is full of shadow.
The bed is a ritual object, so to speak, worthy of our tenderest care.
It has been often said that one of the most intimate sights is a bed recently left, it's coverings scattered and laid about.
In bed we leave the plane of practicality and enter the deep worlds of dream, and here we make love, and in so doing, we seek him/her whom we love, but can never find.
The Bed is prie-dieu on which we lie rather than kneel, a place of physical prayer, inspired by desire and sustained by pleasure.
No altar is more sacred!!!
I am humbled and sizzling with passion for the sacred, the beloved, the love-making, the everything that encompasses the light, the beyond, and the moment that gives us Truths that are 2010 and then I have to integrate................ unfortunatley!
So much for the Country Girl!
I've much to learn.
Thank you all for being my teachers.
Most of you would never know, but will, if I have anything to do with it!
I'm full of love and consciousness.
G
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