Gratitude

Thank you for all of you in my life!

I truly am grateful for many of you, for all different reasons, and don't think just because I see you for 5, 10 or 15 minutes in my day, that you haven't marked my day in the most incredible and beautiful ways.

You are precious to me, and I will never forget you!

May you always be blessed and shielded with the most grand love there is.

All my love and warmth,
Gabriela

THE STORY LINE

Doesn't the story of your life get old sometimes? You hear yourself say the same thing over and over again, and sometimes it is just nice to kick back , with no thoughts at all, and revel in the "nothingness" of it all.

Ahh, no thinking. The pressure is off!

Oh my God, what do I do now? What? No thinking?

You go sit quietly, enjoy the night, go outside, gaze up at the stars, dream, gaze up at the stars again, dream some more..............

The focus is on what is happening in this moment and time.

What are you doing in this moment and time?

Are you celebrating or ........... or buying wooden nickels?

What is YOUR CHOICE?

love and sleepies............

gabriela

SPECIAL PEOPLE

I know this topic is pretty generic sounding, and it could encompass your whole life filled with "special people", but, in my world, especially my work world, I am extremely grateful for the array of people I have come into my life everyday.

These people have no idea how they make my 8 hour shift, not a "shift". I come to work thinking, OK, today is Tuesday, who usually comes in, and anticipate their presence, knowing exactly what I will get. A huge smile, a big hug, and great conversation. Put a few pastries in there, a really good espresso, and we are ready to go. The morning for me, rest assured, is pretty damn good, uplifting, and truly, truly, a pleasure to be faced with such good company.

I know everyone who comes in, I can make their drinks and get their pastries blind folded, and really, can't wait to ask them how their week was, how they are, and catch up on the personal, sweet things that they continue to share with me. And, visa versa.

It's not just about the food, the drink, and the place in which I work, but the exchange of human beings, somehow "forced" to be together, yet, it works.

I love my job because it really gives me the opportunity to grow, to share great things, to receive great things, and to allow the passion of my upbringing to coarse through it all. It truly is a combination that I cannot beat. I love"my people".

The last few days I have had the great pleasure to welcome some "customers" that I have met in my work place years ago, and I felt as though I couldn't do enough for them. I know what they like, they love that I know what they like, and we are "family". That is how strong my bond is with my customers. Not all, of course, but truly, without them, at this point in my life, it would be very different.

When you think about it, you spend 8 hours a day or more with a lot of different personalities, and hopefully you will have a good time with them, but if not, you have alternative measures. Your clientele.

Or, a combination of the two.

It is amazing, because at this point in my life, if it weren't for my workplace, I don't know if I would have gotten through some of the hardest times of my life, without the people who come in regularly, having no idea how their presence had made my day, or made me smile, or laugh like hell.

I have very, very special people who come in that I would consider family to me, and thinking that I would not be around them is a huge consideration in my evolution. Sounds small, but certainly not, at all!

I am utterly grateful for those souls who come walking through, making me laugh, and all of the crazy, wonderful things that they do. Not even, just coming up and ordering their darn coffee, and me seeing them just waking up, knowing they are tired, I give them their morning space, and we connect one way or the other. Sort of like a relationship, and it is so sweet to me. I have very intimate relationships with them. God forbid something happened to one of them.

I've gone through pregnancy, deaths, births, life altering changes, to marriages, to confessions, to you name it, it all gets revealed to me. I go through their lives with them. I love it, its great. And, I have to say, that there are those few who know my story. They have been there with me through storms, and through the greatest times of my life.

Wow, where do I work? Isn't that 150.00 dollars an hour? Oh, wrong proffession!

Not really!

In these moments, I really have to bow down and thank my mother. I am a replica of her. Gladly so.

She taught me at an early age to cook, to cater to peoples needs, (hostess), to be gracious, and really, no rule book, but to be loving, sweet, and understanding to peoples needs.

That is not for any pat on the back, but to say that she was a huge, huge heart with so much to give, and she had a passion for food, for people, and for bringing people together for the highest good. Drink wine, have food, by all means, have foooooooooooooooooooooooooooood! And if you get up from that dinner table you'd better be going to the bathroom. After all, we are eating, drinking and having a blast laughing our asses off. Why would you get up from the table?

Special people are the ones you feel that comfort with, who GET IT without words. Who know what pasta is and are not wondering where the steak is!

Special people are the ones who want to accompany you on your journey, not compete with you on your journey. Attract the ones who get it, who allow you to be you, and visa versa.

Lift your glass to people who LOVE TO LOVE, WHO LOVE TO ENJOY THE SIMPLE PLEASURES, WHO LOVE TO HAVE A GOOD GLASS OF WINE OVER A SIMPLE 99 CENT PASTA DINNER THAT YOU MADE BLIND FOLDED.

Lift your glass to LIFE, the canvas that you are drawing upon.

Make it your own.

And, it CAN HAVE STEAK, POTATOES, AND SPINACH if that is what you so desire. Not everyone has to have Cavatelli and Broccoli.

Touche' to the special people that make up my world. They do know who they are. Lord knows I'm not the silent one in the crowd.

I love you all with all of my heart.
Mucho gratitude for making my days what they are............. just frigin show up everyday, OK? Don't let me down or you're in trouble!

heeee

I am grateful for all of you...........x's 10.

Gabriela

I'LL TELL YOU WHAT I HAVE TONIGHT........

Tonight? Well? How about this moment? Do you know what I have for you? Well, for me too?
I have the biggest smile on my face!! My heart is lit up, there is a well in my heart that I just don't know what to do with, and the funny, funny thing of it is..........is that my outer world doesn't warrant this granduer, which, makes it all the better.

I am inside. In a place that can only be reached by me. Can't be touched by anyone, and will alwawys be available for me to grab onto, sink into, and revel in, for it is the most sacred existence to mankind, IF............IF........... IF............ THEY ALLOW THEMSELVES the opportunity to visit such a sacred land.

Ill be the first to say, "Let's go to an island, anywhere sunny where I can catch a ray", or go to Italy, or Africa where my heart sets sail, but I have to say, in all truthfulness, that when I visit that sacred place inside, I can be in the tar pits of hell, and I am dancing like a fool, as if I just won the lottery, or some great thing that I have always wanted and it came true. Seriously, I don't set out to try to sound any certain way on this thing, want to be liked, or seen a certain way. I say whatever the heck I want, and it is from my little soul that screams out for expression, even if there is no "return". I don't get a return in this. It isn't tax season on my blog. It's just a simple way of expressing myself, and it is sent out to a few who may, or, may not appreciate it. I don't ask, and, if someone has a problem, they could write, right?

I get so much out of this. Why? Because it comes from that little sacred spot inside, that is innocent, and it is sacred. My god, you all get my vulnerable goods. That doesn't come easy, and I am sure there are a few who read this who can attest to that. (go easy on me guys/girls).

Anyway, my point is. I AM SMILING? ARE YOU?

Look, life is happening, and it isn't going to stop anytime soon, so all of the blunders, the absurdities, the payments, the flaws, the "God, I need to go to the gym, I'm fat", blues, the, "I ate too much" syndrome, the "I didn't do this", and the "I didn't do that", and all of the rest of the crap that we can say we didn't do, didn't accomplish..........HOW ABOUT............ (novel idea) What we DID accomplish, HOW BEAUTIFUL WE REALLY ARE, HOW COOL WE REALLY ARE, HOW WE ARE ACTUALLY GOOD PEOPLE, WITH HUGE HEARTS, LOVE TO GIVE, EVEN THOUGH WE HAVE STUFF........... I mean, c'mon, we ALL HAVE STUFF. No one is exempt from this. Why are we going to go about all of our days beating ourselves up for what we didn't accomplish, or didn't do? How about what we DID DO? Ok, so you are short on your bills, you didn't get your kid the skateboard he wanted cuz your check didn't allow it, you can't go out to dinner.......... OR........flip side, YOU CAN DO ALL OF THOSE THINGS, BUT.............you are miserable.

Why? Why are you miserable? Is you heart empty? Does it need to be filled with some good ol' love that doesn't come with a computer, a diamond, a Lexus, a fur or two, vacations, fine dining?

What is it that is going to make you smile? Really!! Ask yourself!

Don't feel bad if you want something simple other than that boat, or a diamond. You are entitled!

Look, it's simple......... give me the boat and you'll be fine, I promise!

Had to do it. Funny.

Check out why you are not smiling from your heart of hearts. What is it really that will make you bust up in innocent laughter? Feel good from head to toe, without thinking you have to fix yourself in some way.

That statement makes me really, really sad, for ALL OF US! Ya know, why? Because I know, for me, and all of the people I see and talk to everyday, that there is this perception that there is some sort of lack in ourselves, something that doesn't ever meet up to anyone standards, and the main one being US.

THAT HAS GOT TO CHANGE!!

YOU ARE FINE JUST THE WAY YOU ARE. Just find something that will be icing on your cake. Maybe you want to travel, maybe you want to be loved, just by someone acknowledging you, instead of sex, instead of the "wife" or "husband" that you play out, who knows? Think about it. Your detailed thought is what counts in this picture.

Make a detailed list of what you want, and stand up about it. You are frigin entitled to have and do and come and go as you darn well please.

Somehow that sentence has to follow with "YOU GO GIRL", OR BOY..........

Flow of thought is a great thing. Amuses me, it does!

OK, so go............. find the smile! What is it? Get real! Get genuine! Dig and find somethin' good to chew on. Don't be lazy about it! After all, THIS IS YOUR LIFE~ THE CLOCK DOESN'T STOP!

Me? I am dancing tonight. I have been playing this CD that makes me so damn happy, I could have a major catastrophe happening, (which isn't too far off), and I am still dancing, singing like it was the last minutes of my life! Seriously, it is all good. ( Just don't let me think too much and I'll be ok) ;)

Get your music out, get your hairbrush out, you know, the one that you use for a microphone, and get in that mirror. You know what to do............. HAVE FUN! SMILE, AND FIGURE OUT WHAT IT IS THAT WILL KEEP THAT SMILE ABLAZE.

I'm with you, and always will be.

Support your friends. See yourself in them, and find great compassion!!!
Be positive, and forget all the crap going on in your world.

LIFE IS TOO SHORT.......... damn it!!

Huge huge love,
once again.

God, that love thing ...........it's contagious isn't it?

Sweet dreams!

Love always,

Gabriela

WHAT WOULD HAPPEN IF.............

... Instead of resisting and fighting everything, we just moved into it, blazingly aware, and ready to take on any and everything to get to where we want to be, ready to set any boundary we need to, and make it worth the risk?

At least we are not running, in any way, from the thing we "hate" or that bugs us, or scares us, or plainly, something we are just "over", in our world.

Usually, if we find ourselves laden with a pattern that seems to have haunted us this long, you might could (haha, that is a Texas thing I like to use for fun), guess that it isn't going anywhere, anytime soon.

So......what to do?? Go........ walk through the fire, see it, find out what you could possibly do different to change things up a bit, if the sucker seems to be hangin' out against your best wishes.

Get creative! Check out what you have done before, see if it worked, and if, by chance, it didn't, and you just let it go at.........UUUGGGGGGGGGGGG, there is nothing I can do........chances are, you got stale, tired of it, and just gave up trying something that actually COULD WORK to your advantage.

How? Hmmm.........well........... maybe we peek our heads out of the cardboard box, take a look around and scout out something that seems different, and maybe not our typical way of doing things.

I don't know how that will show up for you. I know for me, in some instances, it shows up as a huge pain in my butt, something I generally don't feel like doing, or, something that is not in my character, but (I love this word, it was my mom's favorite word when I was a kid, and I, of course hated it then, but love it and use it now), It would BEHOOVE you, ( good one huh?), to do something different, something that may just work, something that you did not think of, but maybe someone shares something with you that sounds, well...........eh.......yea.......I could try.........but you really don't gel with it, and then later, the sparks go off, and your like, "WOA", MAYBE I WILL TRY THAT?!

Of course if you tell them, "hay, that thing that you mentioned, umm, yea, I tried it, and guess what? IT WORKED! They look at you and roll their eyes and say...........mmmhhhmmmmmmm!!!

OK, touche'. Out of the box I am, and into a reality that doesn't seem to fit naturally, but in the moment, yes, it worked, and I learned something new, and ...........I CHANGED!!

Where is the wrong in that? Nowhere! So, I'm out of the box, (yes!!!), did something different, (yes!!), CHANGED, (yes!!), and ........well, that's 3..........pretty damn good, we'll stop there for now.

Be willing to change things up a bit. And, ya know, listen with new ears. The people who you talk to everyday have gems coming out of their mouths, but we get so darn comfortable that it is like listening to the radio. In one ear and out the other. Someone might be saying something that will change your whole perspective on life. Really!! Listen to people. Even if you think you know the answer, listen openly, and you may just find that the piece to the complex puzzle has been found.

I would prefer to make it as if I don't know a darn thing. That way, I am for sure that I will learn something new, and if I seem to know it already, I keep my mouth shut. Who cares if I know something and you don't. I don't really need any strokes. After all, it's just information. Really!

As my sister reminded me of so many times.......... and we laugh about it now is.......... WHAT YOU RESIST, WILL PERSIST!!! Seems so easy to just go..........OH, HELL, I WON'T RESIST ANYTHING THEN, but inevitably, we do, and we fall, and we get up and so the dance goes on.

Keep walking forward, with the joys, the sorrows, the feelings of pain, of sadness, of failure, of setback, of lack, of all that seems one way or the other, and keep moving!!

Move but don't negate your emotions, your feelings and how it is all important along your journey to accept the things that are there, that you cannot change, and the things that are there, that you CAN change, and roll it all up in one big ball, and embrace it, and I am for sure, that it will all work out in the wash. Just don't lose too much time thinking about it all, and try to enjoy your days, in the midst of it all, and someday, someday, you will look back, and laugh, and say, I shoulda had a V8.

OK, OK........... A Margarita!

LAUGHTER TRULY IS.......

THE BEST MEDICINE!

I have to say, that in my worst of worst moments, I still could laugh at myself, or the scenario, as if it were a cartoon, or some twisted tale out of a book that never made it to the shelf. You know, one of the ones that you see at half priced books, laugh your ashtray off, and wonder, where did this come from?? This SHOULD BE ON THE SHELF IN A REAL BOOK STORE! Why??? Because it is REAL!

I'm so over that all together life, that life that sounds good to you only when your life seems so goofed up. No! I do not want Beaver Cleaver. I'll take the white fence if someone lets me paint it my way, but the whole perfect life?? What is that really?

Is it the male/female relationship where the guy makes all the dough, stays at work long hours, the woman takes care of the kids and is "allowed" to take them on errands, get her nails done and go to the gym?" Wow, thanks............ I feel privileged!! Is that perfect? Is that the real deal?

Is that the scenario we all want to get to? OK, take away the "typical". Maybe it is a male/male relationship or female/female relationship. They all still find a role to bury themselves into. They might be female, but carry a few extra whiskers to make you guess, or they may be male but have more fries to go with their shake than McDonald's......I dunno.

The point is......... nobodies life is the perfect scenario. IT JUST IS, no matter who you are, or who you are with.

And.......we really can laugh, no matter what is going on. You almost have to, or else........well, I do see why people take medications. Me? Can't do the medications, but a good ol' glass of wine won't do any harm.

If you can get a good enough perspective, you really do see that the information almost becomes irrelevant, and that you become this sort of alien to your own world. You look at it as if you are watching TV and you start laughing going...........HHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAA LOOK AT HER FACE.........all crinkled from thinking this is so real........... look at her forgetting about how precious life is, just because of this or that............ you start to see that if you just laugh a bit, take a step back and view your life from the bleachers, you'll feel comfortable enough to go ahead and get that hot dog from the concession stand. Why not? It's a frigin hot dog, not a daddy long leg!!

GO GET IT. EAT IT.........and revel in the simplicity of a damn hot dog. Your life isn't over just because you goofed up your checkbook, or you lost a day at work, or you forgot to do something, you missed an appointment you knew darn well you had to be at............OH MY GOD............PUNISHMENT ENSUES. You horrible person you!

LAUGH!! LAUGH!!! And remind your friends to laugh. That means me too. No one is exempt.

Life truly isn't meant to be taken so seriously, even if you have pretty good valid proof that IT NEEDS TO BE TAKEN SERIOUSLY BECAUSE LOOK AT THIS LIST OF DEFAULTS. I could easily go there, but ya know what? I think I like laughing too much. Maybe I should find a job where I make money laughing............ I'd be well off by now. I'll ask my boss, see what he says.

Are you laughing today? What is so serious in your life that it is taking you away from the source of innocence and good ol' silliness?

I was out on my porch today, with my bum leg in the air, laying down, thinking of my life right now and really............ I started laughing at all of the circumstances, the whole play of it, and I laughed so hard out loud..........I even said out loud............YOU HAVE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME, as if someone gave me a screenplay and I read the plot and thought.............. you have got to be kidding me...........YOU WANT ME TO LIVE THIS OUT FOR A PERIOD OF TIME? Funny! Thanks, I'll wear it for awhile and pretend.

That is it. Just pretend you were given a screenplay, act it out for awhile, but know that at any given time, you can put the script down. If you don't like the play that was given........put it down and raise your hand for another, but I suggest that you become a damn good actor for the first one, so that you have the hang of it for the next one, because guess what? The grass isn't greener in the next Play house. You just get a different script, so laugh while you read the script and don't take it all so seriously.

And support your friends in telling them the same. Not too many people believe in this philosophy. Make them laugh!! Remind them that life is a series of one act plays. There IS in fact, intermission, and you get time to take a breath, pee, and then resume where you left off with a better view of what is really happening.

Take a risk! Laugh your butt off in the midst of your stuff. Even if you don't feel like it. I'd pay to see you laugh when you don't feel like it. As a matter of fact, let's play poker. I'd pay to see MYSELF laugh when I really don't feel like it.

Look, we have a new profession. The basket is on the table.

Smile, laugh, be joyful, say what the hay.............LIFE IS TOO SHORT..............

YOU REMIND ME?
I'LL REMIND YOU!

I am going to bed with a smile on my face............. it's all not that bad............

I have to continue this one...........another time.

Lots of love and laughter from head to toe,

Love you guys.

Gabriela

WORDS FAIL ME

I laugh, and I know you will too, especially you, who read my long, long blogs lately. Words never really fail me, but as I sit here, and revel in regular life, how it unfolds, happenings, circumstances out of our control, people in our lives, every last bit of it, has me baffled to the point where I've sat here, with nothing to say, at least in this blog, and wonder why, sometimes I DO HAVE SO MUCH TO SAY.

It's kind of tricky. Actually, maybe not. Tricky may not be the right word. Maybe we trick ourselves, into thinking that so much is going on in our lives, when really, life is just happening as it is, like rain or shine on any given day.

My circumstances aren't any different from Sally's, my favorite friend on this blog. Sally just has different names in her world, and maybe different daily events, but when it comes to the emotions, Sally is on the same page as Gabriela. Why should I seperate myself from the crowd and think I am so different, as to think that my scenarios are worth listening to or that they stick out, more than Sally's, or Joe's?

Maybe that is just egotistical? But.........but........this happened.........and wait till you hear this!

All of our feelings are valid, and worth listening to, unless you have the perpetual tape recording going that plays the same tape over and over until you just get sick of listening to Italian melodrama.

I'll take some French please. At least it would be sexy melodrama!!

When do words really fail you? Are you tired of the same story? Are you just bored of it, want a new story, or plainly, no story at all? Are you frustrated? Stuck? Cabin fever with your job? How about your love life?

I have to be honest. If I were to say I didn't want any story at all, I would be lying. Then I would have no books, no films to make. Surely, I can have a story line that isn't so damn cryptic.

Maybe I need to have some Vanilla friends. All I've had is Neopalitan, I think I am ready for some plain' ol Vanilla. ( oh geez, be careful what you ask for). Wait, I like chocolate too........wait, don't take me literal just yet............. let me make sure I'm good with that statement.

Vanilla? All the way? Really? Just Vanilla? What would I do? I'd ask my Vanilla friend if they had a chocolate friend!

Uhh....... I don' t think I could make it in Vanilla World. I could try for a bit, but I am afraid I'd be hunting down the ice-cream man to see if I could trade flavors, or at least mix it up a bit, buy a Klondike bar or somethin'. I'd pay extra and even run down the street after the truck if I knew I'd get a good flavor along with my vanilla cup.

Tangent. I'm laughing at myself. Are you following?It's ok if you don't. Maybe you just needed a good laugh, or........... hay, a yawn? I'll play it down!

Where are we? Are we mixed up in our emotions that we are forgetting the real essence of now? Today? Our breath? Our little moments that make up a cool little life, even if we aren't where we think we ought to be?

So, where is it that we should be, other than right here, right now? In another city, state, continent?

With someone else, other circumstances?

Anything but right where we are huh? Isn't that how it goes?

Maybe I'll take back an hour and a half of my chat with a friend today. Maybe I just rambled for period of time to let out some frustration. Maybe it was to sort through where I am at so I don't get stuck.

All I know is that I want to grow, and never stop, and stick to what rings true inside. If that is my only guideline, I think I will be fine.

A few new flavors for dessert every once in a while, and some good laughs to keep it all real.

Keep it real, keep it light, and make wild crazy love with the great outdoors.......and when you do, tell me all about it............... I could use a good night cap.

Huge love, and a warmth that nurtures your soul.

All my love,
Gabriela

THERE IS NOTHING MORE EXQUISITE TO ME

.........than the innocence of nature, the sweet sound of the birds, the insects, the animals traipsing through the leaves, and then, to top it off, I look around, and there is blazing colors, shapes, trees, rocks, and all kinds of things that make up our landscape ,called "life."

Have you gotten out lately? Do you notice what is around you? Are you too busy dialing on your way out to your car? From your house to the car, can you say that you take a moment to look around you, in your garden, in your yard, or just up at the sky?

God, I don't want you to miss it, just for the sake of being busy. I know I don't! Maybe that sounds petty to you, but one minute, really, just one minute digesting what we are given to live in, and on, is pretty phenomenal. Slowwwwwwwwwwwwwww it down. I am reminding myself of that. Slow the heck down so you can see the landscape.

Bed, bathroom, kitchen, garage, car, Starbucks, and work.......how many can relate to that?

Me? I'm over it!

I want, bed, awake, look out, see it, get it, love it, embrace and be grateful for it, and go on about my day, hopefully, to saturate myself in it............ it makes your work, not seem like work, your life, not seem like the life that it is, and sparks your soul in a way that you cannot express with words.

If I can wake up with some sort of grateful thought, have one or some, during the day, and by all means, before bed at night, I am a happy camper!

If, for some reason, I go to bed angry, or upset, or unresolved, it makes sleep, not sleep, waking up, not really WAKING UP, and going about my day, not really going about it.

It makes it going to bed pissed, like a pissed person, an unresolved person, who is tired, UN-awake, and makes my day miserable, irritated, and jumbled.

Get it? Doesn't it make you want to make some sort of plan, or at least, a consciousness, to wonder where you are at, and how you can change your mood, or your state of mind, FOR YOU, for your moments, and your life.....yes.......your life!?

All of those thoughts, those actions, those conscious awakenings, and decisions to make your life a more happy and conducive one, is right on the money. It is SO worth the time and effort. Try it. Go to bed angry, without a thought. Wake up in the same pissed off mode............. don't you just want to shake it??? You can............ it is a choice............

Really, I'm not just trying to sound spiritual, corny, or anything else. Little moments that make up our days, make it so worthwhile. Get up and go outside, check out the sky, bring your coffee outside with Fido. Fido probably would appreciate you hangin' with him during sunrise........ give a pet or two, acknowledge the killer sky, take a sip, and be on your way.

Ten to nothin' you have good day, even if you spill your coffee all over your pressed shirt. You really won't give a rats ash.............

Hay, I tell myself the same stuff. I am no better for writing this. THIS IS my homework, everyday, and I try, and I have to say, I succeed! I WANT THIS! I AM PASSIONATE ABOUT THIS. Our life that we are given is so cool! I cherish it. Maybe it won't happen everyday, but the goal is, to make it happen, no matter what. I want my life to be awake, happy and to go beyond circumstances.
My life truly is exquisite to me. Very sacred. Make your life your romance. Put some music on, check out the sky, the hills and flowers, get a glass of wine, and don't think you have to make the next movie to have some satisfaction in your life...........it is right under your nose, and it's waiting for you to catch a glimpse.

I'm out here now, blazing stars and all............. I don't know about you, but in love has taken on a new meaning.

See you out there........... and............I will!

Sweet thoughts of all of you,
Gabriela

MYSTERIOUS WAYS

For anyone who doesn't like reading long blogs, you might as well stop now. This subject is such a turn on to me, and really, I could sit out here, and write on and on....... really........ forever, about my theory, others theories, and pick it apart to the bone, but what the funny thing is about all of this, is that NONE OF US WILL EVER KNOW about MYSTERIOUS WAYS. Why? Because the word Mystery, lends it's own explanation, that it is something hidden, something that is puzzling, and constantly questioned, and really never answered, just assumptions, or answers that we come up with , for ourselves, to make us feel better about whatever it is that we are questioning. Read that slow, and don't pass it up as just......a sentence! It's potent stuff. I'm all over it, myself!

Mysterious ways, can be about anything! Death, happenings that don't make sense, but do, in some way, that you cannot explain, but somehow, you just know, inside, that it is real , but you just leave it at, hmmmm, and you go on about your business, but sort of question it later. Maybe you will never come up with the whys or how's, but you go with your gut instinct anyway. Mystery reveals itself, in so many ways. Funny ways, serious ways, accidental ways, in love ways, do I know you from somewhere, ways, you find yourself in a bind, and someone appears out of nowhere and helps you, and just acts as the good Samaritan,ways, helpers that all of a sudden show up in the midst of your crazy world, ways, things happening last minute that you say," Isn't that funny how that happened", "someone must be looking after me", or "the gods are on my side", ways.......I could go on and on about all the "mysterious ways".

Have you looked at the sky lately? What REALLY IS BEHIND ALL OF THOSE BEAUTIFUL CLOUDS?? MYSTERY! HOW DID WE GET HERE?..........MYSTERY! WHERE DO WE GO AT THE END OF OUR TIME HERE? MYSTERY!

MYSTERIOUS WAYS!

All I know guys, is that Mystery is a beautiful, amazing, complex, intriguing, fascinating, sensual, gripping, tantalizing thing.........let it make you go to the ends of your brain, the core of your soul, to make you get off your lazy ashtray, to question some of the most amazing, yet simple things that are put in front of us. Put down the WE machine, put down the ipod, iPhone, i this and i that, and take a second to ponder the mysterious ways that happen in your day, or moments, and just for a second, think about how cool this life really is. The opportunities that we are given, if we really look at how perfectly orchestrated it is, just for us, individually.

I know some of you are thinking this is a crock, and so be it, you are entitled, but take a millisecond, for me, to ponder what the heck is going on, outside of our own doings, the preverbial "box", and see that there is a divine intelligence out there that tells us some amazing things, if we are quiet enough.

There is a road. And it is a side road, not marked, that I continue to take. It is off the beaten trail, and as I'm riding on it, there are street signs everywhere that say MYSTERY ROAD, MYSTERIOUS WAYS, THIS WAY, MYSTERY POOL, MYSTERY THIS AND MYSTERY THAT............and I laugh to myself and say, "What the hey", it's better than Lamar Blvd. See the same crap everyday, and it is a given that you will get the same thing on Lamar Blvd every stinkin' day. BORE HORE HORING!! That would be BORING!

When I take that Mystery road, I am always surprised, always intrigued, always changing, always learning, and without a doubt, always willing, to break out of my comfort zone, to see just what the heck is on the other side.

I stand tall in honor of the Mystery.

It is an exquisite moment in time, when you take that ride, and actually GET IT!

MMM MMMMM MMMMM!!!! Savor that flavor!!! It is gourmet, at it's best!!

NOT EVERYONE HAS TO UNDERSTAND

Not everyone has to understand who you are and what you are about. Even if they want to, they may not ever see the real you that exists within.

It is funny because who doesn't want to know the person they spend a lot of time with? You think you know them, and on some levels, of course, you do, but for the most part, people WANT TO KNOW YOU, but are bothered some how, that they actually, really don't!

Not to say that they don't know anything about you, but there are parts of you that are sacred, and private, and well, why have to explain? Isn't the best part of being who you are, unexplainable? The people who really get you don't have to ask or wonder why anything about you? They just quietly get it, or quietly don't and are OK with that?

It is only if someone has some sort of attachment to wanting to be the one to get you, that keeps them so far from NOT getting you.

Does that make sense?

Be who you are and don't care what anyone says or thinks, and if you remain who you are, people will either remain in your life, or they won't. They will be sick of you, or sick of their own skin.

If they hang out, maybe it wasn't so bad after all.

LET PEOPLE BE WHO THEY ARE! I know, including me, we all have opinions about others, but who doesn't? And if you say you don't, I might call you a liar.

Everyone has opinions, and it is natural and normal.

Opinions can be separate than judgements. Have an opinion but don't be attached to it.

Then it becomes self righteous.

I can't say that I won't have an opinion about anything. I'm Italian, strong willed, and a Scorpio. I can add a few other nouns, but why, they go under the same umbrella.

Have opinions!!! It's healthy!! Go for it!! But when it comes to defining someones soul, you better take a back seat to the horses mouth. That horse ain't lyin'.

Don't try to steal words from the horses mouth and stick in some other kind of language that a horse doesn't know.

A horse is a horse, of course!

The best part of being in these human bodies is that, for me anyway, can't speak for everyone, everything is individual. Be who the hell you want, and don't apologize. Go for the gold of what you think, what you want to do, and what you want to say, after all, it is YOUR LIFE. That is what I tell myself. Don't worry about what the majority of people think about you. The predominant factor will remain that, they are off base, and some, not. Who cares, no matter what the outcome! No one will ever know exactly where you are, and that is a little treasure that I find to be endearing and sacred, to be honest.

Sacred beyond belief.

So, be sacred in your acts. Whether it is an act for yourself, or an act to get to know someone. Be sacred in knowing that you may not know, and you know, you may know, but nonetheless, it is a nuetral thought, and knowing that you can sway either way, will bring you to a place of enlightenment. Meaning...........really...............WHO FRIGIN CARES?

Sayanara everyone. It's a good night!

And........I don't wanna care........live your life free and hopefully I am a small part of it.

Warm gushy thoughts of just being, with everyone I exist with............

I am grateful.

Love,
Gabriela

THERE IS EXQUISITE LIFE...IN BEING REAL!

Wow, I cannot tell you how REFRESHING it is to be with people who are REAL, and forthright, so mellow and relaxed in who they are, without any apologies, without any wants or needs from you, just a genuine sharing of two people getting together to celebrate each other, where they are on their journey, together, and separately.

It is so rare to be that comfortable in your skin, knowing there is not a need or a want from someone .I know that sounds simple, and trite, but how often do you actually come across that?

Let me rephrase that. How often do I COME ACROSS THAT?

It takes a rare person to be so OK with themselves that they don't need or want any thing from you. They are who they are, you are who you are, and you lift glasses in celebration of the unique journey............. you listen...........and I love listening to someones stories, about their life, their happenings, and also listen to the way in which they associate themselves with their "story".

I hear mine so loudly everyday, and it gets boring after hearing the same crap, day in and day out, that when someone else spills their concerns, their passions, their insecurities, their frailties.......you really feel the impulse to just embrace them, not out of "oh, I feel sorry for you, but for the recognition of a human, on a very specific journey, headed to a sort of "excellence". Don't misinterpret that. The excellence is one in which someone naturally wants to be better, act in accordance to their soul and not to the petty B.S. that beckons them everyday, to put stock into.

What a turn on!!

Sometimes people have no idea how much they affect others by way of.........just, being!

It is so graciously accepted, and taken in, to appreciate and to love from a very sacred, sacred place.

Everyone should be lucky enough to have their friends, the ones who stick with you, no matter what, and who don't judge you in any way shape or form, and who recognize your deepest desires as something seperate from the labels we "have" to catagorize ourselves.

They see it for what it is, and they move forward in a sort of motion that has not backtracking affect to it. IT IS WHAT IT IS!

What a great epiphany, really. It may have been said to me a million times before, but for some reason, it is resonating with me now.

Better late than never...right?

ALWAYS BELIEVE IN YOURSELF

No matter where you are, or what you are doing, believe that you are doing what you know best, to the best of your abilities, and hopefully the fairy dust will be spread about, to where your heart will shower others with something more than just a coffee, or a donut, or a sale or two, of some good olive oil, and a lusty bottle of wine.

Sometimes being in the spot light of where you are in your evolution will look like you are this, and you are that, but really, no one knows the secret jewel that rests inside, one that you have no intention on letting anyone in on, if they haven't caught on already.

The ones that catch on....... know............. and there is no explanation needed.!There is just a silent recognition of this magical space and time, filled with a laughter that comes from going with the joke of it all. The silent recognition seals the envelope for me. Those moments are treasured, with the few who actually get it, and flow along with you on the most intelligent ride. So incredibly intelligent that it looks like kindergarten, and..........that IS the joke!

It's the simplicity........ why is that so hard to digest?

It is OK to be simple! It is not a weakness! It is OK to be gentle and sweet! It is not a weakness!

Remember when you were in school, and if you got caught chewing gum you would have to write it 100 times over and over again?

If I had time tonight, I would write that over and over on a piece of paper. IT'S OK TO BE SIMPLE. IT IS NOT A WEAKNESS. IT IS OK TO BE GENTLE AND SWEET. IT IS NOT A WEAKNESS. X'S 99.

Always, always, believe in what you are, who you are, and never Vere from that. If anyone has anything to say or to debate that, let them ramble, and you go on about your merry way, whistling to the tune of your humble heart that just wants to love, love,love.

After all, you will never go wrong with loving.............. I guarantee you that!

Not saying it wouldn't feel like you got in a fight with a porcupine, but really, go for it.............go for it............ hahah.

Stay true........stay true............ in a nut shell!

YOU CAN RUN BUT YOU CANNOT HIDE!

There are a multitude of scenarios that I could spell out, to expound on this oh so true title.

Some things you run into on your little journey, seem great, uplifting, positive, and all the other great words that describe some sort of added joy in your world. But if you are aware, and smart, you start seeing the goodies behind WHY those things are there. This is not a bad thing, but you know, being aware isn't necessarily the easiest trait to have.

People come into your life for a reason. It could be to help you, to guide you, to show you certain aspects of your life that need attention, someone to shed some light, someone to just hold your hand along the way........... the list goes on.

That person will inevitably equal someone from your past. Good or bad, bitter or sweet, it will show up for you, for some teaching or another.

It surely is a bitter sweet thing. The attraction to that person, whether it be a good or bad, will always shed some light on your life, as it is now, and as it was. It is up to you to see it clearly, for what it is, and to put it into perspective, so that you can grow, and hopefully see the pattern of attractions that accumulate on your little slate of life.

Does that make sense?

Wouldn't it be genius of us to see all of our stuff, take a step back and heed any warnings, and take the appropriate steps to stay clear and conscious? Yes, genius......... so, for me, if that were the case, I'd be making a ton of money on my smarts............... I can be as clear as a sky on a great summers night, but hell..............I AM HUMAN!! And in my humanness, I fall, I do all kinds of things that can make me feel less than "good enough" or man....... I goofed up again, but in all fairness, I LOVE MY FLAWS, MY SHORTCOMINGS..................they make me so good for the next trip around. And...........I would have done what my heart wanted, and I learn as I go. Call me a masochist, or call me a passionate lover of life......... call me what you want.......I remain.......myself.

Maybe I am asking for trouble...........who knows. It's kind of like my grandmother who sat with us kids, and we were all eating hot dogs, and her daughter, my Aunt Marie, said for me not to eat mustard, which was my favorite, on my hot dog because it would be bad for my stomach.......and I looked at her.......... and I looked at Grandma Rose, looked back at Aunt Marie, and no sooner did I glance down there was Grandma Rose, shoving a hot dog, laden with hot mustard, under the table for me to grab, without Aunt Marie, (a nurse, by the way), looking.

It's like that. Sometimes you just have to say.............. with all of the "rules", and all of the so called guidelines............ here.............. go for it.............YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE!!

I am all about it!!! There are stringent guidelines for some things in life, and unfortunately, I have to abide by some certain rules, like wearing my seat belt so I don' t get a big fat ticket, or paying things on time, or you know, stuff like that...........but when it comes to life, and if I have any say in debating rules, and what is allowed and what is not??? I'll call you out in a good ol' boxing match! Most people REALLY DON'T WANT TO ADHERE TO THE DAMN RULES THEY SIGNED UP FOR TO BEGIN WITH.

It's a funny thing. Just know from the beginning that you just put yourself in a box....... a huge one...........so why try to be Houdini? Just don't lock yourself up like that, and you will not have to scratch and scathe yourself to have a little bit of fun and freedom in the meantime.

Big time tangent!! Little time blog! God, where is my own newspaper??

I'm on fire!

So............... yes, you can run......and you can try to hide, but all of that stuff will eventually sneak up on you, to help you along, on your magical journey toward yourself. If you see things about yourself, or you in relation to others...........see it...... own it.........and make a place for it in your world...........a conducive one, so that you are able to move forward in a grand way. One that will make you soar............. above and beyond who and what you think you are, or what you are supposed to be.

BIG TIME HAIL.............. PRAISE............ and any other good sounding spiritual name for Rock the Hell On....................

Stay true guys............stay true to your individual selves................. we need our own personal expression............to pave ways for our future, as individual souls........and brave, brave warriors!

I am here, there, and everywhere that you need me!

Holding hands,
Gabriela

IF I COULD...... I WOULD WRITE FOREVER...

The scenario is pretty simple.

Be home. Write. Share your heart.

Make some good food, share some good company, and laugh a bunch!

Got any better ideas?

Oh yeah, throw in a good glass of Pinot Noir............aside from that, wadya got?

If I could, I would sit home and write until I couldn't take it anymore, and maybe then, someone would have to drag me out, just to refresh my memory of what life is really like, on the outside.

Living Pure

I know this is a heading that can be completely misconstrued.



What is it to live purely?



I can almost guarantee that every ones answer to that question would be completely different.



And, that is good. We aren't all the same. We all seem to want to get to the same place, but take different routes to get there, whether it be religion, or schooling, or whichever we choose to do to make our "mark" here.

It is so difficult, to not care, what people think of what your intentions are, because if they are pure, and it is not taken that way, you feel raped, in a way. Raped of your innocence.

To me, there is nothing worse, than to be raped of that.

But, such is the way of the world. Being misunderstood, (and if anyone knows me, that is the worst possible case scenario, to be misunderstood, and will be the death of me).

Sometimes you wonder if people think in simple terms. Simple, like, I want to help that person, or I want to give to that person. Not because they want something out of it, or because it will help them in some way, just for the plain fact that they want to GIVE, and it feels good to give of themselves. Or hugging someone because that natural way of relating is so endearing, and so rarely given freely, without a wanting.......... are people REALLY that jaded? Has society raped them of innocence and the purity of love itself?

Do we feel responsible for their interpretations?

Do we stay true to ourselves or do we have to edit who we are to make others feel "at home?"

That does not resonate with me.

Hmm!!

FOLKS!

LOVE IS LOVE!

TAKE IT WHILE YOU CAN!

It doesn't come easy!

If someone wants to do something for you, let them! You have plenty of time and opportunity to give back, even if it is not to them. Giving back, is giving back. It is not as literal as you think. If Jane gave me this, then I need to give Jane, this, back! NO!

An opportunity came up for me to give to Jane, and Jane may respond by giving back to PAUL.

It is a natural wave of going with the flow. There is no difference between giving back to you or Paul. It is still Jane giving. It would be ego driven if it were to be JUST FOR YOU, and not for Paul, you see what I mean?

You and Paul are the same, as long as no one is looking for something.

Where is the balance between what we think is real and innocent, to how others perceive our way?

Do we just not care, and believe what we believe and negate others thoughts?

I swear, there IS a balance with everything...........

I'm finding my way................

are u?

YA KNOW WHAT? IT REALLY IS.....ALL GOOD!

I truly think we will ALWAYS BE OK! It is the perspective in which we see things. It's not so easy when you are the star of your own "movie", to be the viewer, sitting eating popcorn.

Who wants to be involved in a movie when we can eat yummy popcorn smothered with butter and salt, watching what goes on?

Honestly, I am so glad for these moments, that show me to sit back and GET THE HECK OUT OF MY OWN MOVIE. It keeps saying, "Go sit in the audience already!" And it is true! Go get the Twizzlers and the popcorn and watch how interesting we make our own movies.

I know I don't skip any details when it comes to mine. At the end of my movies, it usually says, "TO BE CONTINUED". I don't know how good that is, but I always seem to show up at my own premiers, events, and Oscar nights. I haven't won anything YET, but trust me, somethin' is a brewin'.

I think life is a series of events that may seem like a rollercoaster because........... they are a god darn rollercoaster! Look at general life......and I mean general..........it is taxing! Go figure! It's life right? Yes! It really is!!

Now add some drama, some heartache, some trials and tribulations, death, loss or ..well........anything........ move, job change, all of the top psychological issues, and we should all have at least one or two, and some can add to that list, right?

Mine is topping the rictor scale these days, not by choice, trust me!

Some things you just cannot change, so you roll with the punches and hope to come out better, with a new perspective, unscathed, and not bitter towards life that most people think suck, because of circumstances out of their control. I look at it like this........yes, some things do suck like............RULES! How I hate rules, but that is a subject in and of itself.

People live in sheer bitterness. And some people are just laden with character driven persona's because they have accepted life, and all of it 's intricacies, all of it's craziness, and have said, "What the f............!" This is life, and this is how I am going to take this ride, and they live it in the way they can, good, bad or whatever it seems like, but guess what? I LOVE THOSE PEOPLE!!

They roll with the punches, and don't live in the "status quo!"

Everyone has their rendition of how life should be lived, but only YOU, know how YOUR life should be lived. And if you need the help of a therapist, so be it.......... there are plenty of good ones............ they are there for a reason............ and if you don't look at it like it's a "therapist" that will help........... another long story.

So, it really is ..........all good!

Life is an interesting, complex, comical, ride!. There is so much to say, about life. Maybe that will be the............."To be continued" section of my movie. There are so many interesting things to say, really............

I envision camping, sitting out under the stars, having a glass of wine, talking about the complexities of life, the passions, and the possibilities for change........... good change, where we are actually helping humanity, and not ourselves, and watching an evolution occur, before our own eyes..........as we play on our iPhone?? Well..........

I will continue to be baffled by our own choices.

I did say.....our.......

We have work to do............

I DONT WANT TO PRETEND

I don't want to be one of those people that pretends that their world is perfect, or under perfect construction, or handled so delicately, that any circumstance that comes will be smoothed over with roses and sugar. ( roses and sugar.... hmmm) that is an interesting one!

Gotta love the spontaneity of expression.

Tonight, I did not pretend! My emotions ran high, and my reality was such that my best friend, my "dog", and I were in a room together, me trying to say good bye, and thank you, and trying to withstand the reality of a love that will leave forever.

My dogs are my life.............my life are .....my dogs!

Some have kids, I have my babies. I never looked at them like they were animals, or dogs. They have just been a connection that has brought me so much happiness, so much incredible humbleness, and so little fear. They inspire me in every way. They give me love like no other. It is so unconditional.

My experience tonight has brought me to my knees, and also to a place of great understanding.

I sit here, in total amazement at the cycle of birth and death.

It will never settle with me, no matter how spiritual the words are...........the cycle of birth and death will never change , so therefor, I will always be in question.

My night tonight will change me forever.

I will miss my best friend, Tesoro, and thank him for a life that would never be the same without him! I will miss you greatly.



I love you.

STREAM LINE OF CONSCIOUSNESS

Did you ever view your thoughts as if you were watching a film?

Hell, I blow mine up on the big screen. I'm eatin' popcorn and every thing else in sight, just to digest what the heck my movie is about! Thank God I'm not a nail biter, I'd have some sorry looking hands.

I know everyone has their own story line, and truly, at some point, you just start viewing the movie, AS........A MOVIE!

But, truth has it that in this human form, this human brain, and all that other human stuff we have, my my movie is MY MOVIE, and I still have to pay out the yin yang to participate in it. What a crock? Again, who made up these rules? I wasn't on that board......... trust me!

There is a constant stream line of consciousness that is available, if you take 5 seconds out of your day/movie, to become a witness to the events that are happening.

Sometimes I believe my story to be so real, and my chest gets heavy, and the characters are real, and the story line is stressful, exciting, overrated....you name it........... but.............. because I still exist in this little frame, this enclosure, so tightly wrapped up in some package they say my mother had something to do with, is another story.

Who is it anyway? Is it the person who cooks? Who serves you? Who makes you good coffee? Who does this and that?

Is there really a label for such a vast and complex character?

Any word, including character, minimizes the velocity in which this process takes place. Maybe it should be a visual of Superman soaring from building to building................. I dunno!

All I know, is that we, as little people here, have a responsibility, outside of our roles, our characters, and that is to be True to Ourselves. However that shows up, is so individual, and personal, and no one can judge you for it, because who are they?

Their story could be The Simpson's, and yours ER? No comparison right? Mine wouldn't be either or, maybe some other hoakie show........ I'd say The Soprano's but that is a bone of contention these days.

Stay with the story outside of what "seems" real. Go with how you feel when you are not connected to the drama. There is a stream line of consciousness outside of the drama, and it is the very thing that will take you far on your journey, far into your being, that will catapult you inside, where there is a reservoir of gold. Gold you cannot cash in on, just revel in, and mess your hair up in it, roll in it, throw it all up in the air, and catch it, or not, or damn...........WHATEVER THE HECK YOU WANT.................... THAT, IS CONSCIOUNSESS............... look at that!

Freedom in consciousness!

I'm on that ride.............

Commin' with me?

HAVE YOU THOUGHT ABOUT......

The fact, that we are all going to leave these bodies someday, and go to wherever you feel you are going? Does that make you change your day, your thoughts, your actions, or how you relate to people? You do realize, it IS going to happen right? What are we doing now? How do we spend our days? Are we learning on our journey? Learning to fix past mistakes to be different in the future?

I have experienced being by someone who is on their death bed. And they speak of their life, and their time here, and they look at you in such a way, that tells such a story. You want to ask what they are thinking and it brings you to WANT to ask, what shall I do next? There is a kind of transference. It is unspoken, but the transference is deep, and if you are open to it, it changes you, and your life, from that point on, and it is lived in a very different way.

This isn't meant to be depressing or too deep where you just want to go...........ahh, I didn't feel like thinking about that.........but it is REAL~ Is someone with me? Is there anyone with me other than AMY?

Does anyone pan on those thoughts and make deliberate changes in their days or moments, based on some significant thoughts that arise in your day? Do you hear the thoughts but ignore them, because who, in their right mind, is going to be thinking about all of this?

C'mon guys, give me the benefit of the doubt, and please tell me that you all think of these things and then......... I don't know.............even if you don't do anything.....please, please tell me, that you at least think about it.

I know for me, that for some reason, along my little path, I made some sort of silent resolution that I wasn't going to take life for granted anymore. It was potent, and very obvious that I had internally made a stance.

I started looking at my colleagues differently, my banker, my dogs, and every bit of everything. I eat a damn strawberry and I'm done...........that is it............who needs sex? I just ate a frigin strawberry, thinking about my life and why I should be grateful.

Don't laugh, cuz I can name all who are............. just give yourself one second to digest that.

It's true.

Don't go for the obvious. Stretch out on a limb, and call me when your left foot is half way in the air, and your right is just about to break free.

Jump! It's only water guys, it's only water!

Gnite to all my bungie jumpers who insire me.

Bunjie for Life!

g'nite

Sweet Surrender........

My hands are up!

STANDING ALONE

You know, I look back on my life, and I wonder, If I hadn't experienced all that I have, what kind of person would I be?

There are those people that have had a "smooth" kind of life. Mom, Dad, boxed lunch, with an apple, of course, snacks after school, cartoons before dinner, meat, veggie and starch, small dessert, after homework, bath, jammies, and a great night story before bed.

WOW!

In these moments, I say, "How can ANYONE judge another? No one knows any ones story, do they?

I don't know too many people that know about the digs of my childhood, maybe a few, and even then, I'm not sure!

It does all make sense, who we become, from WHERE we have come from.

Maybe I wouldn't trade a boxed lunch, now, for standing in the reduced lunch line. Who knows? Maybe that is why I appreciate food so much. I will never take food for granted! Nor, will you ever go hungry at my house!

Kids who had an apple with their bologna and cheese, and some other snack, were good to go. How can it get any better?

I'm not saying I never had that, but that kind of thing was a luxury.

Kids today, have no idea how good they have it. ( I just sounded old, hahah, caught it) Too funny!

I can recall all incidents from when I was a child, reflect, and say, "WOA!"

Without going into detail, it reminds you of your story line, how life has gone so far, and you wonder why we all have our separate story lines.

Why does Sally, ( I think I like the name Sally, she shows up time and time again), skate through life, untainted, and then heads to college all boxed up pretty with a bow, and then graduates with honors, and leads a ............ whatever kind of life........... it starts out sounding boring to me, and kind of still does, but why is her life sheltered somehow? Why is Sally devoid of certain things?

Does someone out there look down and go, "Well, that Sally, she's a fine girl, let her skate on by and she'll be OK.

And then look down on a few million others and go,"Well, that so and so, why not take this away, or that away, or throw a huge tar pit in the road, with tons of rocks, and say, "Well, I am sure they will figure it out"!

Why is that? Oh, I can come up with some spiritual answers, some logical ones, but, really........does any one of us really have an answer?

They needed that for their karma, they needed that to become more strong, to be more brave, to learn tenacity...........what? What really is it?

I am not looking for anyone to email back and say, "This is what I think it is?"

I genuinely ask these questions to probe and challenge some god out there to meet me somewhere and have an intimate chat.

I'll bring the crackers and cheese, just show up........someone show the hell up so I can have a decent conversation with some depth........I'm dying over here!!!!

Ya know, you go to work, stay there for 8 hours, joke a bit, entertain people, but mostly yourself, and hop in the car, only to find yourself unveiling, to get back to your depth.

Not that there isn't a depth that happens in the workplace. I love my customers to death, but there is a difference from being with people for a short span, handing over a coffee or two, than hanging with your being for a few hours and uncovering mysteries that blow you out of the water.

I love that!

I need that.!

It is just me. Not for everyone, I guarantee.

I feel as if I stand alone in that reality, because it is an awesome journey to trek on. The rewards are mind blowing, so why not be an addict?

Much healthier, no?

Give me an afternoon with quiet. I'd say line up the next morning to witness the purest state of being, and a glow that will knock your socks off.

Give me a weekend, I might charge you!!

Standing alone in your objectivity, your scope of life, to me, is an intelligent way to view humanness, the raw state that is available to all of us, yet, so few dare to partake.

That humanness is what sheds light on a more compassionate way of living. To take that time, is taking time to understand others, the larger picture of our human race. If we start with ourselves, the race is half over.

If I have compassion for myself, why wouldn't I have it for the man next door, or the person that just took me to the mat?

It is all one big work of progress. I certainly try to adhere to my own beliefs, but like anyone, it is a work of art to ace compassion, to ace forgiveness, and to ace the letting go process, to let things be as they are, and to accept all challenges with an open heart, and take responsibility for why they are there, without any blame on anyone else.

Gulp! Did I say all that?

It is true. I say gulp, because it is a responsible choice. Not an easy one. I'd rather wring it all out in the wash than sweep it under the carpet. Get a few greys, than become a professional house cleaner.

Stand alone, even if it is in private moments. Realize you are alone, in your personal quest, not alone in life, but if you want to check out your individual canvas, and what it takes to achieve your perfect picture, there are roads to take, and detours, and ghouls and goblins.

GO FOR THE GHOULS AND GOBLINS IF THEY SHOW UP. You might have to color your hair twice a month, rather than once, but at least the box is only 8 bucks or so. Unless you like Loreal', you might trade a ghoul for the extra bucks............ahhh, go for it........what's a cupola bucks?

Life is funny. It really is.

We'll look back on all of this and say, " What the hell was I thinking?"

We will, I promise.

I hope someone is standing by my bedside, when I am older than old, reminding me of my 20"s and 30's and 40's........... telling me the story line, that I took so damn seriously, and all that will be on my mind is cleaning my frigin dentures.

Isn't that how it really is though?

I'm going to bed laughing at myself.

This is good! This is a good sign.

Ciao!

I love you guys........I really do!

"NOT TAKING THINGS SO SERIOUSLY"

That quote of, "Don't take things so seriously", is a good one, yet if I think about it, I could disagree, to some extent.

At least for my kind of personality, being inquisitive, wondering, dissecting, or analyzing, from a curious standpoint, lends for a certain style of seriousness. It doesn't have to be a negative at all, but being "serious", to me, on one hand, is a turn on. It is an allowance to free think, as an individual human being, about what you...........you............you.........and no one else, thinks. Forget rules and regulations. Just for a bit.

I find that I am attracted to thinkers. The ones who think beyond the status quot. The ones who say, "Yea, I know that, I get it, but this is my opinion", because they actually have sat with themselves, and gave it some thought, rather than saying, "yea, this is this, because that is what it says in the scriptures or that is what I grew up with."

In all due respect......... WHO CARES?

I grew up with a certain set of rules too, but somehow, when I was little, ( I am laughing), I didn't buy into sitting somewhere for a few hours passing a basket around, asking for money from people who generally didn't have it. That is not downing a labeled religion, but a certain set of circumstances that didn't gel with me then, and doesn't gel with me now. Not that that one experience made up my mind, but one, in a hundred. And......I still love sitting in a church, So.....don't wrap yourself up too much in my thoughts. It is an intricate and personal journey, for everyone. I have no judgements on anyone for what they practice, how, when, where, or what they do. This is a whole other subject.

I will say though, there were many aspects that I loved, but the point is.. think beyond what you know, what you have learned, and see just what it is that you like and adhere to, from your HEART.

This is, by no means, a disrespect to anyone, or any religion, purely just an opinion, because, I can.

Life offers up so many instances.

Instances to change. From who we thought we were 10 minutes ago, to the advanced soul, who thought "seriously" in that 10 minutes and made headway in their evolution, to be something or someone different, that makes way for a better world, a better person, or just makes life better momentarily..........no matter what or when, they made a decision. A conscious decision to change themselves, with their set of circumstances. Not dependant on any one Else's life or reality.

Woa, huge surge! That gave me the chills.

Yours are going to be different. Maybe you feel like you don't need to be oh so serious. Maybe it is a different train of thought. And so be it...........I say, "Rock on", as long as it rings true for you.

Be serious, be silly, be whatever, but...just be YOU. Let your small little nucleus in this world reek of YOU, YOUR ESSENCE, your flavor, whatever it is. After all, this is YOUR LIFE, your canvas, your personal time on this earth. Have fun. Dig in to what turns you on, and don't let anyone take that away from you.

I will guarantee you, that if you give it any kind of thought, it will allow for a certain seriousness, the kind that sets you free, just from executing the damn thought. And then there is the rest, that is so amazingly aware of every situation surrounding you, and if you allow those thoughts to germinate, there is a consiounsess that awaits you, that will unequivocally support you on your personal journey towards...hmmm....... so many words........enlightenment, home, your god, your lover, your whatever. Toward the purest form of LOVE.

Ya know, like I said, "It is a personal journey. Call it your own. Own it! Stand by it, even if there is no one else in your "ring".

Stand out, not because you want some sort of attention or validation, but because, your passionate about your life here, on this small planet, for some short time, that when all is said and done, you will know, that you've uncovered yourself, in the most beautiful, raw, way.

Become Picasso. Become Shakespeare! '

Let your being become a living poem, that evokes the love of "God".

How about the love of LOVE, ITSELF.

I will go to bed tonight, so in love with the reality of THIS.

IT IS WHAT RINGS TRUE TO ME.

Take what you want, leave what you can.

Just make it your own, and............. you CAN be serious...........OR NOT.

No matter the road, someone hears your call.

I guess if it is needed that you be serious, it will offer that up.

If not, you will see it WILL lead you somewhere,

where Bygons will be Bygons,

but...........

What about those Bygons?????

The Breath and The Wind

That is all I have in this moment. My breath, and the wind.

Probably, I could end in a period on that one, but something says, just put a comma, and expound on it, don't leave anyone hanging on Just Breath and Wind.

Ya know, I write as I think. That is what I love about writing, there is no law, no boundary, no written rule, on my blog anyway, that says, I can't say this, and I can't say that........... short of a few East Coast curse words, I'm good. For those of you who don't know East coasters, we love words that start with F or S or some slang descriptive word. I'm not going to be polite now........

But...... it does come in handy sometimes.

I hate to edit, or feel like I have to compose or block myself because of a rule. I've been that way since I can remember..... 4 being the youngest one in age, telling my brother, "Wadyou mean I can't do that?". Who said?? And if they did? So............ who are they? Oh god, it goes way back. Maybe that is where the "trouble" began. I thought I had a mind of my own! And.......I did, but who went along with me on it is another story. I kinda didn't care if they did or not, really. I actually would wait around to see who felt what I did, and then looked at my watch and got bored!

No one hung in for the long run. No one had a mind of their own. They copied others ideas of what they thought was good/bad,right wrong. And that is cool but....... I like to be original in my way. Not to be different, but to explore who I am, what I believe in, and apply it if I can possibly get away with it. Not that I need to get away with something, but to apply the craziness of the way I think and hopefully someone buys into my intellegence, haha. Really, I don't speak with pride, just assurance. That would be assurance, not pride.

I love to talk freely. Imagine that? This lovely blog with little to say.

And the great thing is...... you can like it.........or not........and it won't matter one lick to me........ unless your Miss Evans.......:)

All kidding aside.......

Tonight, it really is all about the breath, and the wind. The wind is charging through the French Doors. The chimes are telling stories, and I sit here with an open heart, trying to digest life's little dance, the opportunities we get, the feelings we have, and the small opening to actually make a difference.

I want to start my days with small breaths, and indulge throughout the day for some comfort, and stability.

But mostly, for myself, and the amount of satisfaction I get out of connecting to a greater source, other than me, this "subject matter", who gets disgruntled at the sight of a half true reality. It needs that connection.

My breath brings me back..... centers me.................. the wind, the same, but the wind beckons me......... it asks me quite frequently, questions that no sage could answer. It is left up to me, who ever I am NOT, to be honest, and forthright, with any Truths that I stand by, and to not edit.

To just be who I am. To just tell the Truth.

~