...........Rest satisfied
with doing well.
Leave others
to talk
of you
as
they
will.
Wednesday, September 30, 2009
Tuesday, September 29, 2009
WHEN THE UNIVERSE INSISTS..........
Ya know, I have read, studied, contemplated, meditated, and every other word that would describe analizing, or not, analizing the why's and hows of our existence, and too, not having a single thought about it all, in trying to uncover if I just need to sit back and let the Universe work it's magic, or to get my little "Vision Board" out, to detail my life to the bone, to make sure I am putting out there, exactly what it is that I want, in fear, that if I leave it up to "chance", or the Universe, that some message will get misinterpreted, and I will somehow blame something or someone, for distracting me from my goals.
It starts to become too mindy, too much thought, to just simply live and to just carry out some things that you love to do, and make some necessary steps to achieve them.
The interesting twist is, when you start putting all of that out there, and God, or the Universe, insists that your life should go one way, and you are drawing a map to frigin Tuscany and all of a sudden you find yourself on the East side of some remote city, that you wonder, how in god's name did I get here............I thought I said Tuscany??? Did I say East Tuscany and they forgot the word Tuscany? What? Was I not specific enough? Ahhh, it all gets to be too much. Was I explicit? Did I word that right? Was the incense on the wrong side of my white candles that were burning, next to my affirmations that were hung and pasted on my altar, the wall>> what??
hahaha. I'm laughing to myself..........
It starts to get muffled, and you get a bit confused as to what to believe.
That is when I stand, with arms up, in total Surrender.
For me, the flow of what happens naturally, usually gives me the grand gifts that would never usually happen if I had mapped things out myself. It is truly like going on a treasure hunt, blindfolded.
You start feeling around, but can't really guess where this is taking you, but along the way, you find that it is exciting, and funny, and yes, scary as shit, because, after all, WHERE THE HECK AM I GOING AND TOO....................HELLO??? WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY???
Why am I on this road? If I stop asking questions, and just go along for the ride, I see that it is actually fun, and the things that I have so many opinions about, wind up becoming diamonds in the rough, and slowly but surely, you let go enough to feel, and experience the gems of living in the moment,and letting life happen, and being OK with it. It then, surprisingly enough, becomes so intoxicating, if you stay in that reality, and see it for the grandeur that it is.
I truly could write volumes about this.
My life for the last few years has been nothing other than shedding what I think is right, or should happen, and allowing room for the surprises, and the things that actually, are what I have asked for, only masked a bit different.
It is up to me to see how it just looks a bit different, but really, is the same thing I have asked for, maybe a year ago, or two years ago, or, even yesterday.
Hay, I believe that we always get what we concentrate on, so when I do look at my life, and see just what I attract, I can't sit there and go............I wonder why this is happening??
Things never just happen, and then we look at them and go, "Oops, or Gee, why is this happening?" No, it doesn't work that way, that is if you can be responsible enough to look a bit deeper, to see what you have done to create the scenario at hand.
That is a hard knock, and too, a good one. It teaches you so much about yourself, and you can cop to things that you don't otherwise have to tell someone, if you are too embarrassed or shy to admit, along your journey of discovery, to the self.
You will learn things about yourself that will blow your mind, yet, if you give yourself enough breathing room, you will hopefully see why, and not judge yourself, but pat yourself on the back for sticking yourself out there. You obviously were asking to learn more of yourself, in one way or the other.
Whatever, don't dodge it, no matter how hairy it gets. Stick it out!!
If you seem to have a plan for yourself, and the Universe is handing you something different, especially if it is ongoing, and blatant, heed the "warning". You are probably in uncharted territory, for your growth, something you have specifically asked for, and simply, don't need to ask much more, just go along with it, and take every last drop of learning, of consciousness, of anything and everything that you can, at least to say, that you gave your everything to "the new", the "different" and to something that you probably DID ask for, even if you can't see it, but trust that it is there for a reason.
It becomes clear at some point, like I said, especially if the "Universe Insists", the same scenario over and over.
You may just want to go ahead and get your yellow notepad out, get a good pen, and start taking notes on your own life, and sit back, as if you were in school, and look at the pages, and see what it is that might be on your test in the next day or two.
There is only one difference.
In this classroom, there is NO FAILING.
You might have to come back to take that same test, over and over again, but the good thing is, you keep getting that test, and the "teacher" is nice enough to let you continue, until you ace it, and no "red marks" are left on your page.
Just be sure of one thing.
Don't put a time frame on it.
It takes some of us awhile to get it "exactly right".
Just NEVER, NEVER STOP STUDYING..............
At some point, you will see only a star at the top of your "page", marked EXCELLENT JOB.
And even then, NEVER STOP STUDYING!!
~
It starts to become too mindy, too much thought, to just simply live and to just carry out some things that you love to do, and make some necessary steps to achieve them.
The interesting twist is, when you start putting all of that out there, and God, or the Universe, insists that your life should go one way, and you are drawing a map to frigin Tuscany and all of a sudden you find yourself on the East side of some remote city, that you wonder, how in god's name did I get here............I thought I said Tuscany??? Did I say East Tuscany and they forgot the word Tuscany? What? Was I not specific enough? Ahhh, it all gets to be too much. Was I explicit? Did I word that right? Was the incense on the wrong side of my white candles that were burning, next to my affirmations that were hung and pasted on my altar, the wall>> what??
hahaha. I'm laughing to myself..........
It starts to get muffled, and you get a bit confused as to what to believe.
That is when I stand, with arms up, in total Surrender.
For me, the flow of what happens naturally, usually gives me the grand gifts that would never usually happen if I had mapped things out myself. It is truly like going on a treasure hunt, blindfolded.
You start feeling around, but can't really guess where this is taking you, but along the way, you find that it is exciting, and funny, and yes, scary as shit, because, after all, WHERE THE HECK AM I GOING AND TOO....................HELLO??? WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY???
Why am I on this road? If I stop asking questions, and just go along for the ride, I see that it is actually fun, and the things that I have so many opinions about, wind up becoming diamonds in the rough, and slowly but surely, you let go enough to feel, and experience the gems of living in the moment,and letting life happen, and being OK with it. It then, surprisingly enough, becomes so intoxicating, if you stay in that reality, and see it for the grandeur that it is.
I truly could write volumes about this.
My life for the last few years has been nothing other than shedding what I think is right, or should happen, and allowing room for the surprises, and the things that actually, are what I have asked for, only masked a bit different.
It is up to me to see how it just looks a bit different, but really, is the same thing I have asked for, maybe a year ago, or two years ago, or, even yesterday.
Hay, I believe that we always get what we concentrate on, so when I do look at my life, and see just what I attract, I can't sit there and go............I wonder why this is happening??
Things never just happen, and then we look at them and go, "Oops, or Gee, why is this happening?" No, it doesn't work that way, that is if you can be responsible enough to look a bit deeper, to see what you have done to create the scenario at hand.
That is a hard knock, and too, a good one. It teaches you so much about yourself, and you can cop to things that you don't otherwise have to tell someone, if you are too embarrassed or shy to admit, along your journey of discovery, to the self.
You will learn things about yourself that will blow your mind, yet, if you give yourself enough breathing room, you will hopefully see why, and not judge yourself, but pat yourself on the back for sticking yourself out there. You obviously were asking to learn more of yourself, in one way or the other.
Whatever, don't dodge it, no matter how hairy it gets. Stick it out!!
If you seem to have a plan for yourself, and the Universe is handing you something different, especially if it is ongoing, and blatant, heed the "warning". You are probably in uncharted territory, for your growth, something you have specifically asked for, and simply, don't need to ask much more, just go along with it, and take every last drop of learning, of consciousness, of anything and everything that you can, at least to say, that you gave your everything to "the new", the "different" and to something that you probably DID ask for, even if you can't see it, but trust that it is there for a reason.
It becomes clear at some point, like I said, especially if the "Universe Insists", the same scenario over and over.
You may just want to go ahead and get your yellow notepad out, get a good pen, and start taking notes on your own life, and sit back, as if you were in school, and look at the pages, and see what it is that might be on your test in the next day or two.
There is only one difference.
In this classroom, there is NO FAILING.
You might have to come back to take that same test, over and over again, but the good thing is, you keep getting that test, and the "teacher" is nice enough to let you continue, until you ace it, and no "red marks" are left on your page.
Just be sure of one thing.
Don't put a time frame on it.
It takes some of us awhile to get it "exactly right".
Just NEVER, NEVER STOP STUDYING..............
At some point, you will see only a star at the top of your "page", marked EXCELLENT JOB.
And even then, NEVER STOP STUDYING!!
~
Monday, September 28, 2009
LOVES JOURNEY
Love's journey unfolds through every process of life.
Divine principles are constantly being demonstrated all around us.
We cannot learn them through words, or books, or limited systems of human values.
God, or whatever word you would like to replace that with, is fully known, only through LOVE,
which, accepts EVERYTHING!
Love reveals the Universe as a cosmic playground where every THING,
and BEING,
participates in a single,
magnificent,
Game.
YES, YES, YES,
to every luminous movement
in Existence!
Divine principles are constantly being demonstrated all around us.
We cannot learn them through words, or books, or limited systems of human values.
God, or whatever word you would like to replace that with, is fully known, only through LOVE,
which, accepts EVERYTHING!
Love reveals the Universe as a cosmic playground where every THING,
and BEING,
participates in a single,
magnificent,
Game.
YES, YES, YES,
to every luminous movement
in Existence!
Sunday, September 27, 2009
THE UNKNOWN.......
I swear, I really do stand by this..........but there are a few things to say in between.
The Unknown can be so awesome!!! If you can find yourself in the right place, and good inside, the Unknown is the ONLY.............ONLY PLACE TO RESIDE!
But, like I said, you really have got to be good with yourself, and in a place to accept, and deal with anything, ANYTHING, I say, that comes your way, and be willing to look at it square in the face, look at your fears revolving around it, look at the excitement that may surround it, and every other feeling that surfaces.
I will tell you that this is a deep statement. I will never tell anyone, that coming face to face with the unknown is easy. I truly don't think it will ever be easy. The UNKNOWN IS THE UNKNOWN, therefore, it makes itself a huge mystery, something intangible, and something that you will never wrap yourself around, so if you are someone who needs answers right away, exit stage left, right now.
In my own experience, it has been my best friend, my nemesis, my teacher, the thing I scream at in my alone time, the thing I cry for, in gratitude every night, the thing that keeps me staring at the stars, the moon, and the beauty in each of my days, it keeps my dreams alive, my spirit, awake, my faith, strong, my love, on fire, and me, inside, a solid individual, who knows who she is, in the midst of..............the ...........NOT KNOWING.
I will never, ever, stop questioning, and the unknown keeps me on my toes. It is like a lover who never tells you whole heartedly, everything they feel about you.............. in one sense, you want to slap them upside the head, and the other part of you embraces a kind of spark, that wants to know more, and allows you to love that much more. I know that sounds crazy, and no, I don't want a lover that keeps something from me on purpose, but you all know the scenario. The boy, or girl who chases after you isn't AS interesting as the one who is a tad bit aloof, and doesn't actually cater to you 24/7. Sad but true. It isn't my rule, or even something I thought about, until I realized my own stupid patterns. It is what it is.
The unknown shows up in so many ways.
The moment to moment life is just phenomenal, like I said, if you are used to it, and you get it, and you are not fighting it.
Trust me, I would not have said this a month ago, or even 6 months ago. It depends what has transpired, where you are inside, and if you can actually hold on for the Magic Carpet Ride that it takes you on.
Right now, I think I can actually step back and give myself a few pats on the back for enduring some rides that I guess I signed up for. Must have been at 5 am when I was delirious, or when I was so cozy, under my blanket, that when I was asked, I just said yes to the ride out of a common courtesy sort of thing, just so I could get back to my pillow, rubbing my kitty to sleep, and knowing I didn't have to get up for one reason or the other.
Man, life really is a huge, huge, balancing act. You'd think I was in the circus for some years, juggling the things that life offers.
Not just me, I see my friends, my co-workers juggling the same, and I wonder, if life is just happening so we can truly learn ONE BIG FAT LESSON. Not tons of lessons, just ONE WHOLE, WORLDLY, GREAT BIG FAT LESSON!
Shoot, what would that be?
Simply to LOVE?
FORGIVE?
Could we actually pick ONE WORD?
If so, what would it be?
If there was JUST ONE LESSON, and we had to narrow it all down, what would it be?
I see in my life that there are a ( I'm going to say this because I heard someone say it the other day, and I know it is a Texas thing, but it made me laugh so hard)........ I know there are a SHIT TONE, (shit tone.....isn't that hilarious?).......the real funny thing is that I actually found a place for it in my sentence, so how is that for me? hahahah
Where did my sentence go? I know there are a shit tone of things that I learn, but if I had to put it all under one umbrella, I could probably narrow it down to one word, or one lesson, and call it a life, what about you?
What would yours be?
Right at this very moment in time, I think after months and months of certain life's events, it all has allowed me the privilege to make my way back to this precise moment. To feel life, to experience life in every exact moment.
In that knowing, in retrospect, it allows for me to see that the situations that have occurred have not been so bad after all, but truly, in all honesty, that is in total retrospect. I am a student guys. I ain't gonna pretend. It's not all that easy sometimes, but I love the "in retrospect" thing. I feel as if I have made it to the other side or somethin'.
Actually, I have.
Today, as I was cooking my breakfast, I stood there, in such awe. I felt the affects of my morning spent outside on my deck, right after I woke up. I went right outside, on my deck, early, and wasn't even fully awake yet, but went out there anyway. I saw how gorgeous it was, and made myself wake up, just to go out there to experience the sunrise, the quietude, and the magnificence of nature, so early on. I half slept, half looked around. Was so blazingly amazed at what I have in my life, and how it is truly ludicrous to make up how I think my days should go, and to just soak in what life offers, especially in those moments when nature, and life, god, whatever you want to deem it, is giving you amazing gifts beyond your wildest imagination.
I hung out there. My cat came out, my dog followed, and there it was. A crazyyyyyyyyyyyyy perfect morning, watching them, hearing the birds, squirrels, and whatever other creature was out there making the "noises" that I adore, and look forward to everyday.
Anyway, I pondered those thoughts, making my eggs, and as I was churning the salt shaker onto my eggs, I literally was transported to a reality that would take a whole blog to itself.
Just turning the nozzle, hearing the salt grind, and the sound of it sifting out onto the eggs, in the pan, took on a life of it's own. My senses were so alive, so open, and willing to take on any and every conscious teaching that there could be on the entire planet.
I do know, in that moment, something transpired. My body reverberated the sound of silence, and the embodiment of Truth that comes along with being able to hear, so intimately, just what the "Universe" has to share, through any medium that you allow it to.
For me, it was the salt shaker, the sunrise, the horse, on my walk, the budding flowers along the way, the Sage bush, blazing with lavender color, that made me take 10 pictures, the donkey and it's mate, approaching me, and my curious dogs, cooking in silence, walking the property, in such a gratitude, that coming home, I had to actually sit for a bit, to take it all in.
I don't write for anything other than simply expressing my true heart. I am aware that it may seem as if it is "this, or that", but if you know me by now, I just don't care.
Call me a free bird, call me a gypsy, a hippie, an incense burnin', meditation queen.........let's see, what other name would someone call me, Patchouli Princess, .......I dunno. I laugh at it all!
It's all good. I'm good with myself. I can laugh along with you. I will say, though, that it is a huge trip.
There is a very fine line, of who truly gets it, and who, maybe doesn't, but is OK............ we all realize we are all on different paths. I say, "all leading to the same place", and maybe someone, will say no, but yes, we all want to be free, in one way or the other.
Don't get me started, again.
It all DOES, go under the umbrella of the unknown, and that's it!
Your umbrella can say, God, Universe, Unknown, Nameless, Buddha, Krishna, Jesus, Allah, and all of the others that are there, just not with me right now.
We will have to continue the UNKNOWN category.
There is so much to be said, and if I would just get my first book going, and done with, we would have a head start, but you, and me, will have to wait, just a bit for that.
I have some cob webs to clear out.
I love you all so much.
Whether you read these or not, it is an honor to even have you contemplate my thoughts.
They are no different than yours............and if they are, they are no different in the way that, we are both questioning our existence, just in different ways.
Touche' to you, in your way of thinking. Even if it isn't congruent to mine. You are pushing the limits of time and space, and relaying your individual self.
I high five that any day................any day!!
We'll catch up.
I love you so very much,
Gabriela
The Unknown can be so awesome!!! If you can find yourself in the right place, and good inside, the Unknown is the ONLY.............ONLY PLACE TO RESIDE!
But, like I said, you really have got to be good with yourself, and in a place to accept, and deal with anything, ANYTHING, I say, that comes your way, and be willing to look at it square in the face, look at your fears revolving around it, look at the excitement that may surround it, and every other feeling that surfaces.
I will tell you that this is a deep statement. I will never tell anyone, that coming face to face with the unknown is easy. I truly don't think it will ever be easy. The UNKNOWN IS THE UNKNOWN, therefore, it makes itself a huge mystery, something intangible, and something that you will never wrap yourself around, so if you are someone who needs answers right away, exit stage left, right now.
In my own experience, it has been my best friend, my nemesis, my teacher, the thing I scream at in my alone time, the thing I cry for, in gratitude every night, the thing that keeps me staring at the stars, the moon, and the beauty in each of my days, it keeps my dreams alive, my spirit, awake, my faith, strong, my love, on fire, and me, inside, a solid individual, who knows who she is, in the midst of..............the ...........NOT KNOWING.
I will never, ever, stop questioning, and the unknown keeps me on my toes. It is like a lover who never tells you whole heartedly, everything they feel about you.............. in one sense, you want to slap them upside the head, and the other part of you embraces a kind of spark, that wants to know more, and allows you to love that much more. I know that sounds crazy, and no, I don't want a lover that keeps something from me on purpose, but you all know the scenario. The boy, or girl who chases after you isn't AS interesting as the one who is a tad bit aloof, and doesn't actually cater to you 24/7. Sad but true. It isn't my rule, or even something I thought about, until I realized my own stupid patterns. It is what it is.
The unknown shows up in so many ways.
The moment to moment life is just phenomenal, like I said, if you are used to it, and you get it, and you are not fighting it.
Trust me, I would not have said this a month ago, or even 6 months ago. It depends what has transpired, where you are inside, and if you can actually hold on for the Magic Carpet Ride that it takes you on.
Right now, I think I can actually step back and give myself a few pats on the back for enduring some rides that I guess I signed up for. Must have been at 5 am when I was delirious, or when I was so cozy, under my blanket, that when I was asked, I just said yes to the ride out of a common courtesy sort of thing, just so I could get back to my pillow, rubbing my kitty to sleep, and knowing I didn't have to get up for one reason or the other.
Man, life really is a huge, huge, balancing act. You'd think I was in the circus for some years, juggling the things that life offers.
Not just me, I see my friends, my co-workers juggling the same, and I wonder, if life is just happening so we can truly learn ONE BIG FAT LESSON. Not tons of lessons, just ONE WHOLE, WORLDLY, GREAT BIG FAT LESSON!
Shoot, what would that be?
Simply to LOVE?
FORGIVE?
Could we actually pick ONE WORD?
If so, what would it be?
If there was JUST ONE LESSON, and we had to narrow it all down, what would it be?
I see in my life that there are a ( I'm going to say this because I heard someone say it the other day, and I know it is a Texas thing, but it made me laugh so hard)........ I know there are a SHIT TONE, (shit tone.....isn't that hilarious?).......the real funny thing is that I actually found a place for it in my sentence, so how is that for me? hahahah
Where did my sentence go? I know there are a shit tone of things that I learn, but if I had to put it all under one umbrella, I could probably narrow it down to one word, or one lesson, and call it a life, what about you?
What would yours be?
Right at this very moment in time, I think after months and months of certain life's events, it all has allowed me the privilege to make my way back to this precise moment. To feel life, to experience life in every exact moment.
In that knowing, in retrospect, it allows for me to see that the situations that have occurred have not been so bad after all, but truly, in all honesty, that is in total retrospect. I am a student guys. I ain't gonna pretend. It's not all that easy sometimes, but I love the "in retrospect" thing. I feel as if I have made it to the other side or somethin'.
Actually, I have.
Today, as I was cooking my breakfast, I stood there, in such awe. I felt the affects of my morning spent outside on my deck, right after I woke up. I went right outside, on my deck, early, and wasn't even fully awake yet, but went out there anyway. I saw how gorgeous it was, and made myself wake up, just to go out there to experience the sunrise, the quietude, and the magnificence of nature, so early on. I half slept, half looked around. Was so blazingly amazed at what I have in my life, and how it is truly ludicrous to make up how I think my days should go, and to just soak in what life offers, especially in those moments when nature, and life, god, whatever you want to deem it, is giving you amazing gifts beyond your wildest imagination.
I hung out there. My cat came out, my dog followed, and there it was. A crazyyyyyyyyyyyyy perfect morning, watching them, hearing the birds, squirrels, and whatever other creature was out there making the "noises" that I adore, and look forward to everyday.
Anyway, I pondered those thoughts, making my eggs, and as I was churning the salt shaker onto my eggs, I literally was transported to a reality that would take a whole blog to itself.
Just turning the nozzle, hearing the salt grind, and the sound of it sifting out onto the eggs, in the pan, took on a life of it's own. My senses were so alive, so open, and willing to take on any and every conscious teaching that there could be on the entire planet.
I do know, in that moment, something transpired. My body reverberated the sound of silence, and the embodiment of Truth that comes along with being able to hear, so intimately, just what the "Universe" has to share, through any medium that you allow it to.
For me, it was the salt shaker, the sunrise, the horse, on my walk, the budding flowers along the way, the Sage bush, blazing with lavender color, that made me take 10 pictures, the donkey and it's mate, approaching me, and my curious dogs, cooking in silence, walking the property, in such a gratitude, that coming home, I had to actually sit for a bit, to take it all in.
I don't write for anything other than simply expressing my true heart. I am aware that it may seem as if it is "this, or that", but if you know me by now, I just don't care.
Call me a free bird, call me a gypsy, a hippie, an incense burnin', meditation queen.........let's see, what other name would someone call me, Patchouli Princess, .......I dunno. I laugh at it all!
It's all good. I'm good with myself. I can laugh along with you. I will say, though, that it is a huge trip.
There is a very fine line, of who truly gets it, and who, maybe doesn't, but is OK............ we all realize we are all on different paths. I say, "all leading to the same place", and maybe someone, will say no, but yes, we all want to be free, in one way or the other.
Don't get me started, again.
It all DOES, go under the umbrella of the unknown, and that's it!
Your umbrella can say, God, Universe, Unknown, Nameless, Buddha, Krishna, Jesus, Allah, and all of the others that are there, just not with me right now.
We will have to continue the UNKNOWN category.
There is so much to be said, and if I would just get my first book going, and done with, we would have a head start, but you, and me, will have to wait, just a bit for that.
I have some cob webs to clear out.
I love you all so much.
Whether you read these or not, it is an honor to even have you contemplate my thoughts.
They are no different than yours............and if they are, they are no different in the way that, we are both questioning our existence, just in different ways.
Touche' to you, in your way of thinking. Even if it isn't congruent to mine. You are pushing the limits of time and space, and relaying your individual self.
I high five that any day................any day!!
We'll catch up.
I love you so very much,
Gabriela
Saturday, September 26, 2009
CHANGE........
I know this topic can make it's way to the hundreds, even the thousands of pages, to be talked about, raked over the coals, and analyzed in every which you can possible imagine.
I'm not going to get crazy, just stay simple, and, well, I can say, I'll stay right to the point, but ya'll know how long my blog CAN get, so..........I'll just stick to being honest......... it will be simple, Truth, that is...........
Change is INEVITABLE! It is life, in flow, with nooooooooooooooooooooooo interruptions, if we allow it, that is.
Fighting life is futile!
Look, children grow up, the stock market rises and falls, there is divorce, death happens, jobs change, and unfortunately, there is disaster.
THIS IS REALITY!
On the flip side of that coin is.......
Change brings you opportunity, a fresh new life, a new perspective, a chance to let go, to embrace the "change" no matter what that is.
The old saying, "When one door closes, another one opens", is so true, but I won't negate the fact that yes, we are HUMAN, and we desperately need to go through that integral process, to learn, to see WHY we needed that, what we learned in the process, so we can pave a new, or better way, in our next steps, in our incredible evolutions here.
There is no time frame on when we will learn, how we will adhere, or not adhere, or glom on to this whole idea of actually having to go with CHANGE.
Do we ever really think that we have to actually THINK in a different way, or be AWARE, of something different, to be able to consciously embrace change?
I will be honest.
Over the years, I have been known to say many different things about consciousness. Whether it be a positive, or a feeling of ..... oh, what word........ despair maybe?
When I say, "despair", I mean that the bare Truth of things, or events can literally be disturbing, and does anyone really prepare you for that reality?
I mean people talk about the changes that affect us so greatly. Divorce, death, job change..........
They seem like regular old titles that warrant, maybe a few tears, Two Men and a Truck, and filling out new W2 forms right?
Not really!
Change is not something to take lightly, for you, or for anyone who may be in your vortex.
Change happens whether we welcome it or not.
It is not something, most times, that we plan for, or can emotionally say, "yea, got that change in check"........I prepared for the last few months.
When you really think about it, we put our psyches to the test, to see how "weather proof" it is, to be able to withstand the repercussions that actually come along with "change".
It is probably a wise choice, to try to accept change day to day, whether it be walking outside, going to your car, and noticing you have a flat tire, or getting to your car, and seeing you are empty on the gas situation, and having to walk a few miles to get a can full.
There are many ways that change shows up? Are we prepared to accept it without being angry? Or getting angry, seeing it, but willing to change it up along the way, with the awareness that, it is only for us, to change, not for anyone else.
After all, we have to live with us! Everyone else can bail out if they wish, but we, are "stuck" with us, and have many choices in how we stay, or not stay in our stuff.
If we let go with a bit of Grace, each passing moment brings us a little bit farther on our individual path.
As we mature emotionally and spiritually, we see that changes don't have to actually hurt us.
We see that they bring us new experiences, lessons, and insights.
It is hard, trust me.
We can have a pot of coffee over this one..........
I think this is an ever evolving conversation, and not one that can be easily shared as a right or a wrong.
We each do and go and decide, as we see fit, for our own purpose, and if it doesn't work, I think we call in scenarios that will come to our aid, to support what is innately there, and what the Universe sees fit for us to learn, at any given moment.
I don't want to sound so esoteric, but it is what it is. I can probably get out the ol' dictionary, or book of Synonyms to make it all sound cozy, for all of us who practice, or pray, or devote our lives, in one way or the other, but I seriously think, we are all the same, inside, and it takes someone oh so eloquent to relay all the same information, in one particular language, so that we can somehow, try, to be on the same page, and work together, as a team, to support our growth, and desire to become whole.
( I'll have a cigarette please).........
I get all worked up inside............
Life is full, so chock full of opportunities to evolve, and I see how I fall short of grasping those, but, too, I see the moments where I am on top of it, grasping it, and adhering to the bold Truth, and reaping the benefits............ it's trial and error.............it's cool, it's OK, ..........that is how it has to be for us to learn...............
We cannot get from A to Z by skipping the rest of the alphabet. I'm sure of that!
I am welcoming the changes that are coming my way, and also acknowledging the trying times along the way, so that I can remember, for myself, what actually worked, and what didn't.
It is a process, but, I will tell you, if you are willing to stop for a second, check it all out, and jot down some notes, you will create more of a relationship with yourself, that otherwise would have been passed off by time, or laziness or some other pre-occupation that you subconsciously created to pass it all by, for fear that you might actually meet up with someone that you would fall in love with, and never want to leave again, not for anything...............
Don't take that so literally. read into it................
Meet yourself,
and welcome,
the change, within.
All my love,
As always,
Gabriela
I'm not going to get crazy, just stay simple, and, well, I can say, I'll stay right to the point, but ya'll know how long my blog CAN get, so..........I'll just stick to being honest......... it will be simple, Truth, that is...........
Change is INEVITABLE! It is life, in flow, with nooooooooooooooooooooooo interruptions, if we allow it, that is.
Fighting life is futile!
Look, children grow up, the stock market rises and falls, there is divorce, death happens, jobs change, and unfortunately, there is disaster.
THIS IS REALITY!
On the flip side of that coin is.......
Change brings you opportunity, a fresh new life, a new perspective, a chance to let go, to embrace the "change" no matter what that is.
The old saying, "When one door closes, another one opens", is so true, but I won't negate the fact that yes, we are HUMAN, and we desperately need to go through that integral process, to learn, to see WHY we needed that, what we learned in the process, so we can pave a new, or better way, in our next steps, in our incredible evolutions here.
There is no time frame on when we will learn, how we will adhere, or not adhere, or glom on to this whole idea of actually having to go with CHANGE.
Do we ever really think that we have to actually THINK in a different way, or be AWARE, of something different, to be able to consciously embrace change?
I will be honest.
Over the years, I have been known to say many different things about consciousness. Whether it be a positive, or a feeling of ..... oh, what word........ despair maybe?
When I say, "despair", I mean that the bare Truth of things, or events can literally be disturbing, and does anyone really prepare you for that reality?
I mean people talk about the changes that affect us so greatly. Divorce, death, job change..........
They seem like regular old titles that warrant, maybe a few tears, Two Men and a Truck, and filling out new W2 forms right?
Not really!
Change is not something to take lightly, for you, or for anyone who may be in your vortex.
Change happens whether we welcome it or not.
It is not something, most times, that we plan for, or can emotionally say, "yea, got that change in check"........I prepared for the last few months.
When you really think about it, we put our psyches to the test, to see how "weather proof" it is, to be able to withstand the repercussions that actually come along with "change".
It is probably a wise choice, to try to accept change day to day, whether it be walking outside, going to your car, and noticing you have a flat tire, or getting to your car, and seeing you are empty on the gas situation, and having to walk a few miles to get a can full.
There are many ways that change shows up? Are we prepared to accept it without being angry? Or getting angry, seeing it, but willing to change it up along the way, with the awareness that, it is only for us, to change, not for anyone else.
After all, we have to live with us! Everyone else can bail out if they wish, but we, are "stuck" with us, and have many choices in how we stay, or not stay in our stuff.
If we let go with a bit of Grace, each passing moment brings us a little bit farther on our individual path.
As we mature emotionally and spiritually, we see that changes don't have to actually hurt us.
We see that they bring us new experiences, lessons, and insights.
It is hard, trust me.
We can have a pot of coffee over this one..........
I think this is an ever evolving conversation, and not one that can be easily shared as a right or a wrong.
We each do and go and decide, as we see fit, for our own purpose, and if it doesn't work, I think we call in scenarios that will come to our aid, to support what is innately there, and what the Universe sees fit for us to learn, at any given moment.
I don't want to sound so esoteric, but it is what it is. I can probably get out the ol' dictionary, or book of Synonyms to make it all sound cozy, for all of us who practice, or pray, or devote our lives, in one way or the other, but I seriously think, we are all the same, inside, and it takes someone oh so eloquent to relay all the same information, in one particular language, so that we can somehow, try, to be on the same page, and work together, as a team, to support our growth, and desire to become whole.
( I'll have a cigarette please).........
I get all worked up inside............
Life is full, so chock full of opportunities to evolve, and I see how I fall short of grasping those, but, too, I see the moments where I am on top of it, grasping it, and adhering to the bold Truth, and reaping the benefits............ it's trial and error.............it's cool, it's OK, ..........that is how it has to be for us to learn...............
We cannot get from A to Z by skipping the rest of the alphabet. I'm sure of that!
I am welcoming the changes that are coming my way, and also acknowledging the trying times along the way, so that I can remember, for myself, what actually worked, and what didn't.
It is a process, but, I will tell you, if you are willing to stop for a second, check it all out, and jot down some notes, you will create more of a relationship with yourself, that otherwise would have been passed off by time, or laziness or some other pre-occupation that you subconsciously created to pass it all by, for fear that you might actually meet up with someone that you would fall in love with, and never want to leave again, not for anything...............
Don't take that so literally. read into it................
Meet yourself,
and welcome,
the change, within.
All my love,
As always,
Gabriela
Thursday, September 24, 2009
NOT HAVING IDEAS
I am finding it quite refreshing, to not have any ideas, about ANYTHING!
To find a balance in putting all efforts forth, to what it is that you really want, and too, to relax into not having an idea of how it should all pan out. The where's, the whens, the whys, and the how's.
I know that sounds crazy, in a way. How can you have an idea about something, and really want it, but not really "CARE" so to speak, of what the outcome will be?
Somehow, I try to balance the great things that "happen", and allowing that in, and also, acknowledging the efforts I put forth, in the desire to actually make something happen that I truly want to come to fruition, by doing some kind of homework to attain it.
It is, to me, a razor sharp tight rope to walk.
How do you really know if it is all balancing out, and, do we really need to know all of that?
Can't we just be in a state of knowing that life is happening, with our grand efforts, and too, that the Universe will naturally back us up, because "it" knows we are honest, and genuine, in all of our efforts to find a balance, and know that we truly do want to understand how it all works?
I certainly do not look for rewards, but sometimes I do wonder, if my genuineness for truthful answers and pathways to where I want to go, will be acknowledged, and someone will push the button to the next opening, and it will be that easy.
I feel like Dorothy on the Yellow Brick Road. If you watch that movie, again, with adult eyes, you will see the blazing reality in which we all live in NOW! Don't laugh. That movie has so much incredible symbolism, I dare to make a screenplay out of it, and put some twists and turns in there, to blow up the phenomenon of human consciousnesses. Phew, don't get me started!! It's a Thursday night............ I have a long day ahead of me!
I guess that is some "reward" for me, is for someone to open up the next gate, saying" OK Gabriela, you really do want to know, don't you?" And then something shows up, as if it is a surprise of sorts, and inside, you get it, you see how you were heard, and too, answered.
Go ahead, call me crazy.
I'm so OK with my reality.
I just see how I have ideas of how things should or should not turn out, and I just don't wanna go there.
I want to be OK with what transpires, or what I call in, and not have any expectations of how that journey should pan out.
Usually, the journey that I plotted was much more boring, and less the "abundant opportunities".
Less creative, and so blocked by ideas.
Anyway, I don't want to get off on any tangents, and maybe I already have, but all I know is that if I am left to my own devises, most times. It is a small view. I won't negate it's importance, but when it is mixed with allowances, and a free flowing train of thought, than yes, we are all taken care of, and all of our questions, desires, and dreams, are being heard...........
and..........
will be......
answered.
You may think I am a crazy nut, but inside, it makes sense.
If it makes sense to you, hold on for the ride. If not, you at least opened yourself up to read something that , for some reason, was meant to be in front of you, at this very moment in time.
Who knows why?
It's your road, and, mine too!
Don't have any ideas about how the next moment will be. Let it unfold, and see what gift you get.
Kinda like the Cracker Jack Box. Eat the popcorn slowly. The gift at the bottom of the box isn't going anwhere, so just enjoy eating, savoring the flavor.
Those are the precious moments that I am learning, ARE the gifts, even if it seems as if you are living on the edge.
Maybe truth is ............THE EDGE.
Who knows.
Let's stay tuned, and fill each other in, along the way.
Thanks for hangin' in, listening, and responding.
It's our precious lives that we are contemplating, 24/7.
Or...........
NOT!
HMMM!
~
To find a balance in putting all efforts forth, to what it is that you really want, and too, to relax into not having an idea of how it should all pan out. The where's, the whens, the whys, and the how's.
I know that sounds crazy, in a way. How can you have an idea about something, and really want it, but not really "CARE" so to speak, of what the outcome will be?
Somehow, I try to balance the great things that "happen", and allowing that in, and also, acknowledging the efforts I put forth, in the desire to actually make something happen that I truly want to come to fruition, by doing some kind of homework to attain it.
It is, to me, a razor sharp tight rope to walk.
How do you really know if it is all balancing out, and, do we really need to know all of that?
Can't we just be in a state of knowing that life is happening, with our grand efforts, and too, that the Universe will naturally back us up, because "it" knows we are honest, and genuine, in all of our efforts to find a balance, and know that we truly do want to understand how it all works?
I certainly do not look for rewards, but sometimes I do wonder, if my genuineness for truthful answers and pathways to where I want to go, will be acknowledged, and someone will push the button to the next opening, and it will be that easy.
I feel like Dorothy on the Yellow Brick Road. If you watch that movie, again, with adult eyes, you will see the blazing reality in which we all live in NOW! Don't laugh. That movie has so much incredible symbolism, I dare to make a screenplay out of it, and put some twists and turns in there, to blow up the phenomenon of human consciousnesses. Phew, don't get me started!! It's a Thursday night............ I have a long day ahead of me!
I guess that is some "reward" for me, is for someone to open up the next gate, saying" OK Gabriela, you really do want to know, don't you?" And then something shows up, as if it is a surprise of sorts, and inside, you get it, you see how you were heard, and too, answered.
Go ahead, call me crazy.
I'm so OK with my reality.
I just see how I have ideas of how things should or should not turn out, and I just don't wanna go there.
I want to be OK with what transpires, or what I call in, and not have any expectations of how that journey should pan out.
Usually, the journey that I plotted was much more boring, and less the "abundant opportunities".
Less creative, and so blocked by ideas.
Anyway, I don't want to get off on any tangents, and maybe I already have, but all I know is that if I am left to my own devises, most times. It is a small view. I won't negate it's importance, but when it is mixed with allowances, and a free flowing train of thought, than yes, we are all taken care of, and all of our questions, desires, and dreams, are being heard...........
and..........
will be......
answered.
You may think I am a crazy nut, but inside, it makes sense.
If it makes sense to you, hold on for the ride. If not, you at least opened yourself up to read something that , for some reason, was meant to be in front of you, at this very moment in time.
Who knows why?
It's your road, and, mine too!
Don't have any ideas about how the next moment will be. Let it unfold, and see what gift you get.
Kinda like the Cracker Jack Box. Eat the popcorn slowly. The gift at the bottom of the box isn't going anwhere, so just enjoy eating, savoring the flavor.
Those are the precious moments that I am learning, ARE the gifts, even if it seems as if you are living on the edge.
Maybe truth is ............THE EDGE.
Who knows.
Let's stay tuned, and fill each other in, along the way.
Thanks for hangin' in, listening, and responding.
It's our precious lives that we are contemplating, 24/7.
Or...........
NOT!
HMMM!
~
Wednesday, September 23, 2009
FAST MOVING
Sometimes life presents a myriad of things and your life seems to just move at such a fast rate of speed, that you don't even have time to really think about all that is transpiring in your world.
So many different things, so many subjects, sub titles, and antennae, that it can be severely overwhelming to look into the kaleidoscope of your life, in one nutshell, trying to zoom in on it all, to get to the core of it, understand it all, and try to actually do something about it.
Maybe they should have given us more hours in our days?! But then again, like with money, the more you make, the more you spend. As with time, the more you have, the more you fill it with crap, or just things to make you think you actually are getting MORE done, and so it goes...........
Yes.....the rat on the wheel............everyone knows how Gabriela hates, "The rat on the wheel" syndrome.
Go, go, go, do, do, do............. hurry, multi-task, be robotic, get take out, or don't even eat, cuz your so darn tired, crash, and do the same thing the next day, and wait, just wait to do every chore, every call, every bill, every everything on your simple day off that you are supposed to actually catch up with your tired, soul hungry self, to maybe check in with some composure, some actual down time, to even see how the hell your own self is............really is.
I read this quote the other day, and it just stopped me in my tracks and made me think. Intellectually and spiritually, I understood it, but on a real level, where I reside these days, I had to really think if that is how I like things to be, if that, in fact, is a good feeling, as opposed to a feeling that just doesn't feel so good anymore.
It was something like, "Living is a form of not being sure, not knowing what next or how, you begin to die a little".
They were actually talking about artists, and how, they never, really, entirely know. They say, we "guess", and we may be wrong, but we take leap after leap in the dark.
I do believe in that, but then, sometimes, when it is actually happening, full force ahead, I start second guessing the whole, unsure in every moment, what is going to happen in my next moment, and you live your life as if you are on a continuous roller coaster.
That feeling isn't so grand.
Years ago, I aced this kind of living.
Shoot, you could tell me to move to Alaska, and I'd be ready in a day, no matter the circumstance, so I don't know if it is age, preference, or getting lazy, that the unsure-ness of things seems to be a tad bit unsettling for me, I dunno.
Maybe it is good that I don't have time to think things out so much. Maybe I don't need to think so much, and just need to let life happen, and move, jump in the river, and let it take me to my next destination, without me having any say in it?!
Who knows?
All I know is that right now I AM ...........IN A STATE OF NOT KNOWING............tomorrow? Shoot...........I have a pseudo agenda, but........even that can be changed, and...........( I have to use my friends phrase, because it cracks me up).......I guaran......damn .....tee................ you)...........funny huh?
I guaran..damn.......tee you, that that will change too!
I am open to change, moment to moment, and checkin' out the gifts along the way, tryin' to gel with letting go, seeing beyond, and putting it all into some sort of perspective, for my little life that is so eclectic, questioning, and never, ever, really satisfied with the status quo.
Things are fast moving!
I think of my Mom and my sister. They would tell me over and over again, how time flies, especially at certain ages, and how to look out for this, and look out for that. It's true man........ stuff happens...........happens fast............ and before you know it............you are old........and grey........and what did you actually do with your life, and.........are you really, really proud of what your individual trek was? Do you feel good about what you have done, how you have acted, or responded?
Stuff to think about........or maybe just me............that is what I do in my spare time.
I don't want to look back on my life and say, "Wow, I was a good at delegating tasks". I can't......... there has got to be something secret, or grand behind that................not just............. a delegater............
It really is fast moving, and .......our lives are passing quickly.................what are we doing............are we happy with how it is all unfolding?
If not, tailor it to suit you.............. make it fit, and use every circumstance in your life as a teacher, and even if you can't see the gift, or the reason why, it is there, and if it hasn't revealed itself yet, it will, and you will understand. Just give it time. You don't have to wait till your 80 to look back and go..............WOW....... I REALLY DID LOVE THAT ITALIAN RESTAURANT, or I really did love that person, or place............ fill in the blanks........you get what I'm sayin', I know you do!
Move slowly, and accurately in the FAST MOVING!
Know what you are doing, and even if it is new, move confidently that you are learning, and all will be ok.
Give gentle caresses to your ever evolving soul.
We're all here to help each other........hopefully.
I am. You have my complete trust in that!
The holding hands thing works, if it doesn't seem too repetetive.......
Hay, when somethin' works, stick with it.................
I love you all so much,
Gnite
Gabriela
So many different things, so many subjects, sub titles, and antennae, that it can be severely overwhelming to look into the kaleidoscope of your life, in one nutshell, trying to zoom in on it all, to get to the core of it, understand it all, and try to actually do something about it.
Maybe they should have given us more hours in our days?! But then again, like with money, the more you make, the more you spend. As with time, the more you have, the more you fill it with crap, or just things to make you think you actually are getting MORE done, and so it goes...........
Yes.....the rat on the wheel............everyone knows how Gabriela hates, "The rat on the wheel" syndrome.
Go, go, go, do, do, do............. hurry, multi-task, be robotic, get take out, or don't even eat, cuz your so darn tired, crash, and do the same thing the next day, and wait, just wait to do every chore, every call, every bill, every everything on your simple day off that you are supposed to actually catch up with your tired, soul hungry self, to maybe check in with some composure, some actual down time, to even see how the hell your own self is............really is.
I read this quote the other day, and it just stopped me in my tracks and made me think. Intellectually and spiritually, I understood it, but on a real level, where I reside these days, I had to really think if that is how I like things to be, if that, in fact, is a good feeling, as opposed to a feeling that just doesn't feel so good anymore.
It was something like, "Living is a form of not being sure, not knowing what next or how, you begin to die a little".
They were actually talking about artists, and how, they never, really, entirely know. They say, we "guess", and we may be wrong, but we take leap after leap in the dark.
I do believe in that, but then, sometimes, when it is actually happening, full force ahead, I start second guessing the whole, unsure in every moment, what is going to happen in my next moment, and you live your life as if you are on a continuous roller coaster.
That feeling isn't so grand.
Years ago, I aced this kind of living.
Shoot, you could tell me to move to Alaska, and I'd be ready in a day, no matter the circumstance, so I don't know if it is age, preference, or getting lazy, that the unsure-ness of things seems to be a tad bit unsettling for me, I dunno.
Maybe it is good that I don't have time to think things out so much. Maybe I don't need to think so much, and just need to let life happen, and move, jump in the river, and let it take me to my next destination, without me having any say in it?!
Who knows?
All I know is that right now I AM ...........IN A STATE OF NOT KNOWING............tomorrow? Shoot...........I have a pseudo agenda, but........even that can be changed, and...........( I have to use my friends phrase, because it cracks me up).......I guaran......damn .....tee................ you)...........funny huh?
I guaran..damn.......tee you, that that will change too!
I am open to change, moment to moment, and checkin' out the gifts along the way, tryin' to gel with letting go, seeing beyond, and putting it all into some sort of perspective, for my little life that is so eclectic, questioning, and never, ever, really satisfied with the status quo.
Things are fast moving!
I think of my Mom and my sister. They would tell me over and over again, how time flies, especially at certain ages, and how to look out for this, and look out for that. It's true man........ stuff happens...........happens fast............ and before you know it............you are old........and grey........and what did you actually do with your life, and.........are you really, really proud of what your individual trek was? Do you feel good about what you have done, how you have acted, or responded?
Stuff to think about........or maybe just me............that is what I do in my spare time.
I don't want to look back on my life and say, "Wow, I was a good at delegating tasks". I can't......... there has got to be something secret, or grand behind that................not just............. a delegater............
It really is fast moving, and .......our lives are passing quickly.................what are we doing............are we happy with how it is all unfolding?
If not, tailor it to suit you.............. make it fit, and use every circumstance in your life as a teacher, and even if you can't see the gift, or the reason why, it is there, and if it hasn't revealed itself yet, it will, and you will understand. Just give it time. You don't have to wait till your 80 to look back and go..............WOW....... I REALLY DID LOVE THAT ITALIAN RESTAURANT, or I really did love that person, or place............ fill in the blanks........you get what I'm sayin', I know you do!
Move slowly, and accurately in the FAST MOVING!
Know what you are doing, and even if it is new, move confidently that you are learning, and all will be ok.
Give gentle caresses to your ever evolving soul.
We're all here to help each other........hopefully.
I am. You have my complete trust in that!
The holding hands thing works, if it doesn't seem too repetetive.......
Hay, when somethin' works, stick with it.................
I love you all so much,
Gnite
Gabriela
Tuesday, September 22, 2009
WHEN FANTASY BECOMES REALITY
Do you ever drum up the perfect fantasy and see it so clearly, and then, reality sets in, and you "wake up", so to speak, and it is all ruined, kind of?
Your fantasy may still be there, but your awareness sets in, and it kind of ruins it, but, you can still hold on to the fantasy, if you'd like.
How you feel after that decision, is all up to you.........
Sometimes our fantasies really DO make their way to our world, and we either recognize them, or shrug them off, in a belief, or a disbelief, that we will either, attain them, or chalk it up to people thinking we are crazy for thinking the very thoughts that we are thinking.
Where are you in that puzzle?
Sometimes the fantasy that you dreamt up, winds up NOT BEING the fantasy that is felt like, or even looked like, but nevertheless, it is there for a reason, and you have to kind of clean up the "mess" that you internally created.
You may not have wanted this or that, but your thoughts and desires wanted THAT, and so it attracted that, and then BOOM, there it is , and you are suddenly saying, "HAY, WHERE DID THAT COME FROM?"
Not!!
You do, call in what you actually WANT. It will surface guys. It IS in fact, the LAW OF ATTRACTION. I'm not being spiritual or trying to be hip with the latest and the greatest.
When it comes, don't act surprised............it is IN FACT, WHAT YOU ASKED FOR, ISN'T IT?
BE REAL AND HONEST, if not for anyone, for yourself, so you can at least be clear with yourself.
The whole law of attraction is real and I do believe in it, but don't narrow your mind set to that.
Just know, hay, what you think, what you think upon, will surface, or happen.
I see it in my own life.
I have to be careful. If I go off into fantasy land for a short period, and focus my thoughts there, it may just surface as THAT.............
Thoughts are extremely powerful.
In my world, things happen!
If I think I will be an artist......I WILL.
There is so much to be said about this subject.
I limit myself to words, in this blog.
I guess you will have to stay tuned.........
For now, for you, and,
for me,
know that,
your thoughts
WILL
COME FORTH,
AND YOU CAN EITHER ACCEPT
OR NEGATE!
Don't negate,'
just take it
and run,
and grow.....
grow like a wild flower.
Call me when you have a bouquet.
I don't need to see a floral design,
just to feel as if the design
was complete!
~
Your fantasy may still be there, but your awareness sets in, and it kind of ruins it, but, you can still hold on to the fantasy, if you'd like.
How you feel after that decision, is all up to you.........
Sometimes our fantasies really DO make their way to our world, and we either recognize them, or shrug them off, in a belief, or a disbelief, that we will either, attain them, or chalk it up to people thinking we are crazy for thinking the very thoughts that we are thinking.
Where are you in that puzzle?
Sometimes the fantasy that you dreamt up, winds up NOT BEING the fantasy that is felt like, or even looked like, but nevertheless, it is there for a reason, and you have to kind of clean up the "mess" that you internally created.
You may not have wanted this or that, but your thoughts and desires wanted THAT, and so it attracted that, and then BOOM, there it is , and you are suddenly saying, "HAY, WHERE DID THAT COME FROM?"
Not!!
You do, call in what you actually WANT. It will surface guys. It IS in fact, the LAW OF ATTRACTION. I'm not being spiritual or trying to be hip with the latest and the greatest.
When it comes, don't act surprised............it is IN FACT, WHAT YOU ASKED FOR, ISN'T IT?
BE REAL AND HONEST, if not for anyone, for yourself, so you can at least be clear with yourself.
The whole law of attraction is real and I do believe in it, but don't narrow your mind set to that.
Just know, hay, what you think, what you think upon, will surface, or happen.
I see it in my own life.
I have to be careful. If I go off into fantasy land for a short period, and focus my thoughts there, it may just surface as THAT.............
Thoughts are extremely powerful.
In my world, things happen!
If I think I will be an artist......I WILL.
There is so much to be said about this subject.
I limit myself to words, in this blog.
I guess you will have to stay tuned.........
For now, for you, and,
for me,
know that,
your thoughts
WILL
COME FORTH,
AND YOU CAN EITHER ACCEPT
OR NEGATE!
Don't negate,'
just take it
and run,
and grow.....
grow like a wild flower.
Call me when you have a bouquet.
I don't need to see a floral design,
just to feel as if the design
was complete!
~
Monday, September 21, 2009
Sunday, September 20, 2009
REMEMBERING............
.......... the most incredible times of my life.
I mean, god, there are sooooooooo many, eclectic moments, so may amazing trips that I have experienced, that I don't know where to start.
I did, however, pan on a time in my life, for some reason, today, as I walked forever, with my dogs, oh god, so innocently.............. it was the greatest day.
It was my day off, and I often let it take me to wherever it may, and it just excites me to know that there will be no contact with people, no phones, and for the most part, no Internet, or anything like that. ( I kinda had to for certain reasons, but hay...... it ended at 2).
I went on a long hike with 2 of my dogs...... it was magical.............innocent beyond belief.......I wondered if I'd ever come back........ I truly get transported into a consciousness that beckons me to come back, to not compromise, and to listen to the call that is so blatantly in my face, it's not even funny..............
I actually melt........ literally melt.....on those hikes, those walks, that speak to me, that talk in a language that only a hungry soul could hear.
It is not boredom, it is not an experiment......it is the total awareness that a soul is hungry for so much more that what is before it, yet, really can't negate it's purpose here, right in the moment, for me.
On my walk, I remembered a few kindred spirits, that I came upon,on my journey, in New Mexico.
I worked at an outdoor market, that is actually a famous market, for travelers abroad, and for the locals. Literally, the place to go on a Saturday or Sunday afternoon, and spend all day, buying the most eclectic, art, sculptures, jewlery, you name it.
I had regulars like, James Taylor, Carol Burnett, and Ali Mcraw.
They would come to my booth for Shiatsu, or for some herbal blend that would help them in some way......... how so very exciting that was..........
Anyway, I'm not trying to name drop, in any way, just kind of panned on my time and some specific moments, but those actually weren't the moments I wanted to talk about.
The moments I thought about, were the moments at the market, the friends that I met, and how it impacted my life, at the time, and really, after tonight, seeing how these people stuck with me, unbeknownst to them.
I had a spot at the booth, every weekend.
I did Shiatsu, all types of specific body work, and too, sold herbs and herbal combinations that were specifically made for whatever ailment you had, tinctures that would cure your worst bodily enemy........
New Mexico is eclectic......... I loved it. People were diversified, went out of the normal "box" of thinking, and did what they wanted, artistically, spiritually, and mentally, just went for it. It was such a turn on for me. Nothing really was stale. I always felt as if I was evolving at a great speed.
I would go to the market every weekend, and there were the "regulars", and man, did I love them!
To get to the point, there were a few people that really stuck with me, and at the time, shook me out of my little brain, and into a consciousness that, otherwise would have been dormant, and questioning, as usual........
I had a woman, whom, I cannot remember her name, in this moment, but she and her husband had a spot at the market.
They had a vehicle that they MADE THEMSELVES. It looked like a house. A wooden house. When you looked inside, it was so pristine, everything, I mean, everything you would ever need to exist on, was in that car, truck, home, whatever you would want to call that homemade vehicle of love.
God they were cool!
Yes, they would be the people you would see and say, "Woa, they are messed up", but NNNNOOOOOO....... they are the ones that knew what the heck they were talkin' about.
Look, I ain't no dummy, ok......... I am a good judge of character......... and maybe this comes down to personal preference........or personal political views, I dunno.......
These guys would park their vehicle for the weekend, size you up for shoes that they would make right there for you, and too, share the most incredible love, Truth, and simple life, that you would walk away blazing............at least questioning your very existence, your diet, your choice of words, your actions, your attention span, your actual interest, or no interest in what was before you........... your every, every thing.
Look, it is never what it seems. These people would have looked as if they were "bag" people.
It is so far from the Truth. They became my friends. They sized me up.......... they made me moccasins...........and beautiful ones at that...........so I would challenge them to make me certain "hippie" like shoes and boots, just to have an excuse to go back to their booth, since I had already bought all that I could buy from them in a day.
They would come to my booth to get worked on, or to buy some bag of herbal mixture for their liver or spleen, or something that they challenged me to concoct for their bodies.
I see their vehicle now. They lived and worked out of their vehicle. It sort of looked like a log cabin home, on wheels, and it was amazingly done. They built it themselves.
They were simple. They ate well. They were in tune with their bodies, and most of all, stood in the face of society, being themselves, and didn't change for anyone!!!! Really stood tall and confident in their skin.
They stayed themselves no matter what people said. And trust me, people had much to say about them, and I clung to them. I related, big time! They were, to me, something to make a stink about.
Just because they "looked like" something, or lived out of "something", people said they were messed up, or on drugs, or man....they made up a thousand excuses to why they would THAT simple, that "lonely", and trust me, they were not lonely, all kinds of opinions, and everything but positive.
Hay, I will tell you..........they were simple, pure, no nothin kind of people who wanted to give, to serve, and to just, actually BE.............amongst society, really, because that is where they "ended up", and was making the very absolute best out of who they were in a messed up society.
LET PEOPLE BE WHO THEY ARE.............
I know it may be different, but please, just look at it, and see if it may be something that is real, and even if it is not in your vortex, come out of your box..............come out of your box that says, "this is all I know", and allow your eyes to open to someone elses world that may be completely different than yours, but neither one, is higher, lower, better or worse. I think it is all in how you handle yourself, and what YOU are comfortable with.
I think we all want to be understood.
I'm not sayin' that my friends wanted to be understood, but when I look at the situation, I see, yes, we all, in some way, want to be understood.
Those people showed me a kind of life, and experience that rarely exists.
They lived what I dream about most times........maybe not living out of a cabin that drives on 183, but just the pure and simple life, devoid of so many things that take up so much of our time. I don't have to go naming them all, especially if you are an avid "Quote Reader" of mine.
They stayed true to themselves, without worrying about what people would think, they looked in your eyes, stayed there, and actually felt comfortable and could carry on a conversation without looking away. They shared their innermost "secrets", and let you know, they weren't really "secrets", just eclectic life, happening, mayabe different than yours, but nonetheless, no judegements.
They shared themselves NAKED and RAW.
They really didn't care what they shared, they just shared it, and if it affected you, it did, if not, it was just information from a being that had a "thought", and you either got it, or you didn't.
Nothing good or bad.
I really wish you had that experience.
My words just don't do any justice to the situation.
I guess I wanted to share the amount of purity, the grand opportunities that we have, and to not negate any experiences that have come before us, whether we have a "negetive" experience with it, or a "positive" experience.
It all starts meshing together under the umbrella of LEARNING HOW TO BE, and to stay as nuetral as we can, to remain connected inside, and to not budge from that spot.
Thank you to those kinds of kindred spirits that teach me who I am and to never compromise who I am for anything.
~
I mean, god, there are sooooooooo many, eclectic moments, so may amazing trips that I have experienced, that I don't know where to start.
I did, however, pan on a time in my life, for some reason, today, as I walked forever, with my dogs, oh god, so innocently.............. it was the greatest day.
It was my day off, and I often let it take me to wherever it may, and it just excites me to know that there will be no contact with people, no phones, and for the most part, no Internet, or anything like that. ( I kinda had to for certain reasons, but hay...... it ended at 2).
I went on a long hike with 2 of my dogs...... it was magical.............innocent beyond belief.......I wondered if I'd ever come back........ I truly get transported into a consciousness that beckons me to come back, to not compromise, and to listen to the call that is so blatantly in my face, it's not even funny..............
I actually melt........ literally melt.....on those hikes, those walks, that speak to me, that talk in a language that only a hungry soul could hear.
It is not boredom, it is not an experiment......it is the total awareness that a soul is hungry for so much more that what is before it, yet, really can't negate it's purpose here, right in the moment, for me.
On my walk, I remembered a few kindred spirits, that I came upon,on my journey, in New Mexico.
I worked at an outdoor market, that is actually a famous market, for travelers abroad, and for the locals. Literally, the place to go on a Saturday or Sunday afternoon, and spend all day, buying the most eclectic, art, sculptures, jewlery, you name it.
I had regulars like, James Taylor, Carol Burnett, and Ali Mcraw.
They would come to my booth for Shiatsu, or for some herbal blend that would help them in some way......... how so very exciting that was..........
Anyway, I'm not trying to name drop, in any way, just kind of panned on my time and some specific moments, but those actually weren't the moments I wanted to talk about.
The moments I thought about, were the moments at the market, the friends that I met, and how it impacted my life, at the time, and really, after tonight, seeing how these people stuck with me, unbeknownst to them.
I had a spot at the booth, every weekend.
I did Shiatsu, all types of specific body work, and too, sold herbs and herbal combinations that were specifically made for whatever ailment you had, tinctures that would cure your worst bodily enemy........
New Mexico is eclectic......... I loved it. People were diversified, went out of the normal "box" of thinking, and did what they wanted, artistically, spiritually, and mentally, just went for it. It was such a turn on for me. Nothing really was stale. I always felt as if I was evolving at a great speed.
I would go to the market every weekend, and there were the "regulars", and man, did I love them!
To get to the point, there were a few people that really stuck with me, and at the time, shook me out of my little brain, and into a consciousness that, otherwise would have been dormant, and questioning, as usual........
I had a woman, whom, I cannot remember her name, in this moment, but she and her husband had a spot at the market.
They had a vehicle that they MADE THEMSELVES. It looked like a house. A wooden house. When you looked inside, it was so pristine, everything, I mean, everything you would ever need to exist on, was in that car, truck, home, whatever you would want to call that homemade vehicle of love.
God they were cool!
Yes, they would be the people you would see and say, "Woa, they are messed up", but NNNNOOOOOO....... they are the ones that knew what the heck they were talkin' about.
Look, I ain't no dummy, ok......... I am a good judge of character......... and maybe this comes down to personal preference........or personal political views, I dunno.......
These guys would park their vehicle for the weekend, size you up for shoes that they would make right there for you, and too, share the most incredible love, Truth, and simple life, that you would walk away blazing............at least questioning your very existence, your diet, your choice of words, your actions, your attention span, your actual interest, or no interest in what was before you........... your every, every thing.
Look, it is never what it seems. These people would have looked as if they were "bag" people.
It is so far from the Truth. They became my friends. They sized me up.......... they made me moccasins...........and beautiful ones at that...........so I would challenge them to make me certain "hippie" like shoes and boots, just to have an excuse to go back to their booth, since I had already bought all that I could buy from them in a day.
They would come to my booth to get worked on, or to buy some bag of herbal mixture for their liver or spleen, or something that they challenged me to concoct for their bodies.
I see their vehicle now. They lived and worked out of their vehicle. It sort of looked like a log cabin home, on wheels, and it was amazingly done. They built it themselves.
They were simple. They ate well. They were in tune with their bodies, and most of all, stood in the face of society, being themselves, and didn't change for anyone!!!! Really stood tall and confident in their skin.
They stayed themselves no matter what people said. And trust me, people had much to say about them, and I clung to them. I related, big time! They were, to me, something to make a stink about.
Just because they "looked like" something, or lived out of "something", people said they were messed up, or on drugs, or man....they made up a thousand excuses to why they would THAT simple, that "lonely", and trust me, they were not lonely, all kinds of opinions, and everything but positive.
Hay, I will tell you..........they were simple, pure, no nothin kind of people who wanted to give, to serve, and to just, actually BE.............amongst society, really, because that is where they "ended up", and was making the very absolute best out of who they were in a messed up society.
LET PEOPLE BE WHO THEY ARE.............
I know it may be different, but please, just look at it, and see if it may be something that is real, and even if it is not in your vortex, come out of your box..............come out of your box that says, "this is all I know", and allow your eyes to open to someone elses world that may be completely different than yours, but neither one, is higher, lower, better or worse. I think it is all in how you handle yourself, and what YOU are comfortable with.
I think we all want to be understood.
I'm not sayin' that my friends wanted to be understood, but when I look at the situation, I see, yes, we all, in some way, want to be understood.
Those people showed me a kind of life, and experience that rarely exists.
They lived what I dream about most times........maybe not living out of a cabin that drives on 183, but just the pure and simple life, devoid of so many things that take up so much of our time. I don't have to go naming them all, especially if you are an avid "Quote Reader" of mine.
They stayed true to themselves, without worrying about what people would think, they looked in your eyes, stayed there, and actually felt comfortable and could carry on a conversation without looking away. They shared their innermost "secrets", and let you know, they weren't really "secrets", just eclectic life, happening, mayabe different than yours, but nonetheless, no judegements.
They shared themselves NAKED and RAW.
They really didn't care what they shared, they just shared it, and if it affected you, it did, if not, it was just information from a being that had a "thought", and you either got it, or you didn't.
Nothing good or bad.
I really wish you had that experience.
My words just don't do any justice to the situation.
I guess I wanted to share the amount of purity, the grand opportunities that we have, and to not negate any experiences that have come before us, whether we have a "negetive" experience with it, or a "positive" experience.
It all starts meshing together under the umbrella of LEARNING HOW TO BE, and to stay as nuetral as we can, to remain connected inside, and to not budge from that spot.
Thank you to those kinds of kindred spirits that teach me who I am and to never compromise who I am for anything.
~
Friday, September 18, 2009
FREE FALLING.....
Have you ever gone to an amusement park, and you feel this adrenaline rush, anticipating the roller coaster, or the free fall, or bungee jumping.........any of those crazy rides that give us that feeling of sheer "pleasure?" Odd, pleasure", I say now.
Then, that was all I lived for. I loved amusement parks, roller coasters, especially, and there after, and all of my life, it has been motorcycles, and getting crazy on them, huge jumps, ramps, spinning in the air......crazy adrenaline stuff, which is probably why I love psychological thrillers, and scary movies so much.
I like those things when they are an option. You know you are going to take that bike out, get crazy, do some insane jumps, and be scared to the bone, but inside, you are confident, strong, and on top of your game. Then, when you're done, it is so euphoric, you are so satisfied. Basically, you were in control of the situation, right?
So, this is a choice!
How about when it is NOT a choice, and you are feeling that same rush, continually, except you ain't ridin' no motorcycle? You are riding the waves of LIFE, and what is put in front of you.
Yes, I can say, that in there, somewhere, you CHOSE what it is that you are experiencing, but I think for a lot of us, we are not so caught up to that intelligence, at least not 24/7, and so why beat ourselves up for the circumstances that are happening before us. We can just learn.
Do you want to be free falling everyday? Feeling like you are on the edge? Constantly gasping for your next breath? Wondering if you will land safely, or hit bottom so hard that you won't recover?
What is your experience?
Is your free falling so in the moment that you are..........really.........just free falling, and it is the moment, and that is it? Pure and simple?
What is it?
Do you want an adrenaline rush? Do you find that aspect NECESSARY to actually LIVE FULLY IN THE MOMENT?
Do your moments of realizations, epiphanies, and awareness's give you that "free falling" experience?
Do we need that?
I'm just plain ol' askin' tonight.
Nothin' crazy, just simple questions from the most inquiring mind.
I will never stop asking questions.
I will never stop wondering WHY?
I will never stop questioning the whys and how's,
and,
the very reason why,
we all
are here.
In those moments,
when I see all of the free falling,
with me
and with you,
It makes me wonder,
even more,
if it is just innate,
or
we, "as humans"
just
need that
high,
to measure up to something we've known,
or are yet
to know.
That "FREE FALLING" IS NOTHING TO SNEEZE AT.
Visualize free falling, and experience the "fall", while you are lying there.
What does that equal, really?
Don't cop out and say it reminds you of when you went to Great Adventure.
Give me some goods to chomp on. C'mon.........
Go inside, and feel that feeling.
What does it really equal?
And.............why?
C'mon, get back to me.
These are the goods............for me, at least.
Forget the Halloween candy............hand me something else worth biting into.
I don't want to "crash".
I want to BE AWAKE!
Give me your feed back guys.
C'mon, the weather is changing, it is fresh out, new air, new thoughts, new ideas, and stuff waiting to be shared...........
Don't make me log onto some bogus site on the Internet for some answers......... or read Osho, or Deepack........... I want it from YOU, who's living life, first hand, with me, RIGHT HERE, RIGHT NOW!
I love you all, who hang with me, in all of these crazy, beautiful, intricate, complex, scary, joyful, and questioning times.
Never stop questioning.
I love you so much,
AND............THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU................ for being you, for being in my life, and for taking the time to actually question ..........my questions.
You mean everything to me!
With sheer gratitude,
Gabriela
Then, that was all I lived for. I loved amusement parks, roller coasters, especially, and there after, and all of my life, it has been motorcycles, and getting crazy on them, huge jumps, ramps, spinning in the air......crazy adrenaline stuff, which is probably why I love psychological thrillers, and scary movies so much.
I like those things when they are an option. You know you are going to take that bike out, get crazy, do some insane jumps, and be scared to the bone, but inside, you are confident, strong, and on top of your game. Then, when you're done, it is so euphoric, you are so satisfied. Basically, you were in control of the situation, right?
So, this is a choice!
How about when it is NOT a choice, and you are feeling that same rush, continually, except you ain't ridin' no motorcycle? You are riding the waves of LIFE, and what is put in front of you.
Yes, I can say, that in there, somewhere, you CHOSE what it is that you are experiencing, but I think for a lot of us, we are not so caught up to that intelligence, at least not 24/7, and so why beat ourselves up for the circumstances that are happening before us. We can just learn.
Do you want to be free falling everyday? Feeling like you are on the edge? Constantly gasping for your next breath? Wondering if you will land safely, or hit bottom so hard that you won't recover?
What is your experience?
Is your free falling so in the moment that you are..........really.........just free falling, and it is the moment, and that is it? Pure and simple?
What is it?
Do you want an adrenaline rush? Do you find that aspect NECESSARY to actually LIVE FULLY IN THE MOMENT?
Do your moments of realizations, epiphanies, and awareness's give you that "free falling" experience?
Do we need that?
I'm just plain ol' askin' tonight.
Nothin' crazy, just simple questions from the most inquiring mind.
I will never stop asking questions.
I will never stop wondering WHY?
I will never stop questioning the whys and how's,
and,
the very reason why,
we all
are here.
In those moments,
when I see all of the free falling,
with me
and with you,
It makes me wonder,
even more,
if it is just innate,
or
we, "as humans"
just
need that
high,
to measure up to something we've known,
or are yet
to know.
That "FREE FALLING" IS NOTHING TO SNEEZE AT.
Visualize free falling, and experience the "fall", while you are lying there.
What does that equal, really?
Don't cop out and say it reminds you of when you went to Great Adventure.
Give me some goods to chomp on. C'mon.........
Go inside, and feel that feeling.
What does it really equal?
And.............why?
C'mon, get back to me.
These are the goods............for me, at least.
Forget the Halloween candy............hand me something else worth biting into.
I don't want to "crash".
I want to BE AWAKE!
Give me your feed back guys.
C'mon, the weather is changing, it is fresh out, new air, new thoughts, new ideas, and stuff waiting to be shared...........
Don't make me log onto some bogus site on the Internet for some answers......... or read Osho, or Deepack........... I want it from YOU, who's living life, first hand, with me, RIGHT HERE, RIGHT NOW!
I love you all, who hang with me, in all of these crazy, beautiful, intricate, complex, scary, joyful, and questioning times.
Never stop questioning.
I love you so much,
AND............THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU................ for being you, for being in my life, and for taking the time to actually question ..........my questions.
You mean everything to me!
With sheer gratitude,
Gabriela
Thursday, September 17, 2009
IN BETWEEN ZONES
......... an "in between zone".
A state
in which we
are
neither
who we used
to
be,
nor,
who we are
becoming.
Like standing in
a
doorway,
or
being in a
passageway,
or even
in
a
long
dark
tunnel,
between two
phases
of
our
lives.
~
A state
in which we
are
neither
who we used
to
be,
nor,
who we are
becoming.
Like standing in
a
doorway,
or
being in a
passageway,
or even
in
a
long
dark
tunnel,
between two
phases
of
our
lives.
~
Wednesday, September 16, 2009
BY ALL MEANS, THIS IS NOT TO BE............
....... a dreary blog tonight, but if you wouldn't mind letting me express some things that are here, now, for me, I would love ya for it!
Today is the 2 year date, that my Mom passed, and it would be almost weird, it I didn't write about just what is here, now, for me, and to let whatever out, that is is festered inside.
Today, I woke up, immediately remembering dreams I had last night about my mom. I went to bed last night thinking of her. I have an altar in my room, and of course, her pictures are there, and every night I light my candles, for different reasons, but, my altar is sacred, and what I do there every night, is my own devotion, and what is said, is my own devotion, respect, and love for all of things that remind me of purity, of gratefulness, and of perseverance, to remind me to forge forward, to be strong in my faith, my love, and my devotion for love, itself!
My mom was the epitome of the example to forge forward, to push beyond limits, to love beyond what circumstance presents.
She was solid! Solid faith! Solid love for God! She was LOVE PERSONIFIED!
In everything she did, whether it was cook amazing food for you, talk to you about your problems, share life with you, make you laugh, boy, could she make you laugh..........what a sense of humor!!
She was just cool! Every ones friend, god, just a heart of gold..........she would give you her last dime! She would give you anything she had, she wouldn't care if she did without........... she was so happy to give............ to see someone happy.......enjoying something she had, or made, or cooked.
I noticed myself try not to think of what today was, this morning, I guess because I didn't want to be sad, but I think without me really acknowledging it, my body took on a ton of stress, and I felt depleted, and sad, and just wanted something else to think about.
If I can just be really real........ and not want to apologize for my thoughts, I would have to say that it is really hard to not remember the moments that led up to her death. I won't go into great detail, but those images stick with you, for how long, I don't know........I just try to go with this whole process.
It is intriguing, in my objective moments. Death, in general is utterly intriguing to me, but this one, has got so many tentacles, so many emotions attached, and so much filtering, that the two years that have gone by, seem like minutes, even seconds, that I have tried to process the information, and still, really...........still........... it is so raw, so fresh, as if it all happened yesterday.
Maybe you will never understand until it happens to you.
I know I say that.
Today is the 2 year date, that my Mom passed, and it would be almost weird, it I didn't write about just what is here, now, for me, and to let whatever out, that is is festered inside.
Today, I woke up, immediately remembering dreams I had last night about my mom. I went to bed last night thinking of her. I have an altar in my room, and of course, her pictures are there, and every night I light my candles, for different reasons, but, my altar is sacred, and what I do there every night, is my own devotion, and what is said, is my own devotion, respect, and love for all of things that remind me of purity, of gratefulness, and of perseverance, to remind me to forge forward, to be strong in my faith, my love, and my devotion for love, itself!
My mom was the epitome of the example to forge forward, to push beyond limits, to love beyond what circumstance presents.
She was solid! Solid faith! Solid love for God! She was LOVE PERSONIFIED!
In everything she did, whether it was cook amazing food for you, talk to you about your problems, share life with you, make you laugh, boy, could she make you laugh..........what a sense of humor!!
She was just cool! Every ones friend, god, just a heart of gold..........she would give you her last dime! She would give you anything she had, she wouldn't care if she did without........... she was so happy to give............ to see someone happy.......enjoying something she had, or made, or cooked.
I noticed myself try not to think of what today was, this morning, I guess because I didn't want to be sad, but I think without me really acknowledging it, my body took on a ton of stress, and I felt depleted, and sad, and just wanted something else to think about.
If I can just be really real........ and not want to apologize for my thoughts, I would have to say that it is really hard to not remember the moments that led up to her death. I won't go into great detail, but those images stick with you, for how long, I don't know........I just try to go with this whole process.
It is intriguing, in my objective moments. Death, in general is utterly intriguing to me, but this one, has got so many tentacles, so many emotions attached, and so much filtering, that the two years that have gone by, seem like minutes, even seconds, that I have tried to process the information, and still, really...........still........... it is so raw, so fresh, as if it all happened yesterday.
Maybe you will never understand until it happens to you.
I know I say that.
Friends would talk of their losses, how it made them feel, and you just kind of randomly say, "god, I'm so sorry", but now I realize, I don't know what I am saying when I say that? Before my mom died, I would say that, but now, Oh my god, several clients of mine that come into our restaurant, people who have been my close clients, talk of their mom dying, and it has brought us so close. I realize now, what it is like, to lose a parent. Not 'SOMEONE", but, your parent.
It is different, and nothing to share small talk about.
You actually LISTEN CLOSELY, and realize how robotic your answers are when someone relays that information...........my mom or dad died!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! F...........................! That is some potent stuff, and if you know the person in any kind of way, you start to dip into how that actually would be for that person. You start really seeing people, for their solid humanness, no matter what their "title" is, or their position is. They, too, are people, who have mothers and fathers, who were once a kid, who was very much attached to their parents, and have a past, and have tons of memories!
Shoot, Tonight, for some reason, I can't stop panning on my time with my mom, in the pool. She would hold me close, cuz I was so afraid of the water without her holding me. She would hold me close to her chest, and whisper in my ear, "It will be alright", and bob me up and down in the water to get me used to it, so I wouldn't be afraid of it. I felt so utterly safe, so secure, and loved!
A mother is and always will be a mother.
Like my mother told me a million, gazillion times. "I am your mother, and NO ONE WILL EVER LOVE YOU LIKE I LOVE YOU".
It is true.
It just is true.
There is that deep, innate, primordial thing that happens, and you will understand it more, when you can be objective, and appreciative, hopefully, truly, hopefully, before it leaves you.
A mothers love is so grand, so beyond my imagination, as a daughter, but not so far from my scope that I cannot see it, feel it, and embrace just what that feeling would be, if I were there.
I miss my mother for so many reasons.
Hay, the little things like, calling on the phone and her telling you what she is making for dinner, and if that spice worked, or not, or, how she would kind of apologize for getting take out when we all know, damn well, she'd rather have the Broccoli Rabe with Rigatoni, or Eggplant Parmesan. Chinese would suffice, and actually, it kinda became a favorite for her. Only because she was too tired to make the "good" stuff, that she really wanted!
She'd probably call to tell me that it was so sad that Patrick Swayze died, what she thought of him, and depict all of his great qualities, and say a silent prayer for him...........so genuine, as if shes had him over for dinner several times.
She had her shows, every night, her routines.
It all sounds so "old", so routine, and when you are comfortable, and not thinking anything will happen, you sort of slough it off, as if it is just "Ma", but after it is gone, you realize, you want to hear about the "stupid" shows that she watched, the "insignificant" things that seemed so important to her.
Those are the things that you will see.
Grab a hold now guys.
It won't be there someday, and you will surely miss out on some grand stuff.
YOUR MOTHER IS YOUR MOTHER!!! CHERISH HER, LOVE HER, AND APPRECIATE ALL THAT SHE DID, ALL THAT SHE DOES, AND TRY.........PLEASE TRY, TO SEE THINGS FROM HER PERSPECTIVE, AS YOUR "SECURITY GUARD".
There are one million things I see now, that my mom did for me, and realized how she acted, and how it was for my safety................YOU WILL NEVER FIND THAT ANYWHERE............. EVERYONE ELSE WILL HAVE AN AGENDA!
Your momma won't.
She loves you because you are her BLOOD!
Her beloved.
Put the shoe on the other foot.
Just try.
You will see................
A mother is something that doesn't come around too often, if EVER.
Thank you to my MOM, for being ever so selfless, so amazing, so genuine, and so caring, for me,
a young soul in this world.
I am more appreciative now, more than ever in my life.
I bow to you, for your selfless ways, and for giving me LIFE!
All of my solid love, the most grand love that I could ever express, goes out to you, my sweet mother, for giving me life, the teachings of love, and what it is to GIVE BEYOND ONESELF.
You are my forever teacher.
Your,
Joan of Arc
Tuesday, September 15, 2009
ADMITTING SOMETHING GREAT.........
......something that is so transparent, yet, are you willing to "give up" the goods?
How many of you can readily admit, that scanning upon your day, you can look, and say,"Wow, I learned this, from that person?"
No matter what it is. Some people will notice those things in the moments that they are happening, but won't really give it much thought afterward, which, to me, is where the goods lye.
In the moment, it is organic, and to me, quite honestly, the realizations happen so quickly that you really don't have time to think the whole thing through, ya know what I mean?
It's only afterward that we look back on our day, take a millisecond to go, "wow, that was cool", and then it gets thrown in the "trash" marked, Sept 15, no big deal, bin.
And, even that, isn't a conscious thought! That just happens to be the minds processing, and then, onto the next please.
Today, I learned a plethora of things, sitting in a restaurant half completed, observing, listening, and, internally, trying to apply new things that I may not have known the day before.
It probably looks like I am just sitting there, wondering what is going to happen next, but really, I am like a sponge, and soak up information, that, even me, thinks will be irrelevant in MY evolution.
I back myself up, I'm no dummy......... I have Bionic ears, and they filter things 24/7. Whether I let you know that is another story!
I am where I am for a reason. People, events, circumstances........all of it.........
I want to welcome the whys and how's.
Nevertheless, I am sure I will learn, learn, learn, and for what sake, I don't know.
If I start entertaining my thoughts past this moment, I've only disappointed my own self, into thinking that the moment isn't chock full of realizations and, honestly, the truest reality going. Why, really, would I want to do that? I know better!
Lemme take 5 on that statement........... I just flustered myself! Be back in a moment.
I kid you not...... as elementary as that statement may seem to me, it is NOT, elementary!!
I have shred my pride, and don't think for one moment, that the "elementary" things aren't applicable to me, still!
I DO ADMIT.......I am a work in progress. I have so much to learn, it almost excites me. Not all of the time, trust me. Sometimes, I 'm just like" When will this misery end?" I just want to know the answers, apply them where they are needed, and move on with a fulfilled life........chock full of my desires, goals, and actually BEING in the places that I have only SEEN for myself, in my dreams, my visions, and daily thoughts, that keep me going everyday.
Does it behoove us to be humble, to listen, to just shut up every once in awhile, and not do lip service, that even remotely says, I KNOW, I KNOW?
Maybe we actually DON'T KNOW, and if we just shut up for more than a few seconds, we will learn a great deal. Maybe it won't be what we THINK we need to be learning, but I can put money down on the fact that, if it is in front of us for more than a few moments, we might as well get our day planner out, and start plugging in the information, where need be. IT WILL BE PERTINENT IN OUR EVOLUTION, I promise you , and ME, that.
Look, these are not my rules. Who's, I don't know, but whoever it was, we gelled, and from that moment on, I got it........with no label attached!
If you don't follow, that's OK. Sometimes my own self, takes on an energy that baffles even me, and then I go back, read what "I" wrote, and say, silently, "Wow, I need to go ahead and apply what the hell I just said last night", that was some great stuff.
Go figure.
We are all so eclectic in our own ways, and I adore the individuality, whether it is me, or the cashier who woos the customers, or the deli guy who gently slices your meat, but inside is a volcanic artist, busting at the seems............
We all are great, in our own way, and I honor your way, as different as I may be, or, as we may be the same, who knows?
In any which case..............
Did I learn from you today? ABSOLUTELY!! And, I don't mind telling you............ do you, mind telling me, or someone else?
Tell someone, how they affected you, what you have learned from them. It doesn't matter your title, your position............get down and dirty.............. tell that "someone" just what they have done, for you, in you tiny, tiny, little existence here.
It won't hurt you............it will catapult you my friend................. it really will!!
Goodnight........... and many, many, sweet thoughts of you, and of me, evolving to places that we envision, everyday..............probably keeping them in a dream state......but as of tonight..........they are no longer dreams...............THEY ARE YOUR REALITY!! AND MINE!
I'm here............silently............cheering you on,
As always,
Gabriela
How many of you can readily admit, that scanning upon your day, you can look, and say,"Wow, I learned this, from that person?"
No matter what it is. Some people will notice those things in the moments that they are happening, but won't really give it much thought afterward, which, to me, is where the goods lye.
In the moment, it is organic, and to me, quite honestly, the realizations happen so quickly that you really don't have time to think the whole thing through, ya know what I mean?
It's only afterward that we look back on our day, take a millisecond to go, "wow, that was cool", and then it gets thrown in the "trash" marked, Sept 15, no big deal, bin.
And, even that, isn't a conscious thought! That just happens to be the minds processing, and then, onto the next please.
Today, I learned a plethora of things, sitting in a restaurant half completed, observing, listening, and, internally, trying to apply new things that I may not have known the day before.
It probably looks like I am just sitting there, wondering what is going to happen next, but really, I am like a sponge, and soak up information, that, even me, thinks will be irrelevant in MY evolution.
I back myself up, I'm no dummy......... I have Bionic ears, and they filter things 24/7. Whether I let you know that is another story!
I am where I am for a reason. People, events, circumstances........all of it.........
I want to welcome the whys and how's.
Nevertheless, I am sure I will learn, learn, learn, and for what sake, I don't know.
If I start entertaining my thoughts past this moment, I've only disappointed my own self, into thinking that the moment isn't chock full of realizations and, honestly, the truest reality going. Why, really, would I want to do that? I know better!
Lemme take 5 on that statement........... I just flustered myself! Be back in a moment.
I kid you not...... as elementary as that statement may seem to me, it is NOT, elementary!!
I have shred my pride, and don't think for one moment, that the "elementary" things aren't applicable to me, still!
I DO ADMIT.......I am a work in progress. I have so much to learn, it almost excites me. Not all of the time, trust me. Sometimes, I 'm just like" When will this misery end?" I just want to know the answers, apply them where they are needed, and move on with a fulfilled life........chock full of my desires, goals, and actually BEING in the places that I have only SEEN for myself, in my dreams, my visions, and daily thoughts, that keep me going everyday.
Does it behoove us to be humble, to listen, to just shut up every once in awhile, and not do lip service, that even remotely says, I KNOW, I KNOW?
Maybe we actually DON'T KNOW, and if we just shut up for more than a few seconds, we will learn a great deal. Maybe it won't be what we THINK we need to be learning, but I can put money down on the fact that, if it is in front of us for more than a few moments, we might as well get our day planner out, and start plugging in the information, where need be. IT WILL BE PERTINENT IN OUR EVOLUTION, I promise you , and ME, that.
Look, these are not my rules. Who's, I don't know, but whoever it was, we gelled, and from that moment on, I got it........with no label attached!
If you don't follow, that's OK. Sometimes my own self, takes on an energy that baffles even me, and then I go back, read what "I" wrote, and say, silently, "Wow, I need to go ahead and apply what the hell I just said last night", that was some great stuff.
Go figure.
We are all so eclectic in our own ways, and I adore the individuality, whether it is me, or the cashier who woos the customers, or the deli guy who gently slices your meat, but inside is a volcanic artist, busting at the seems............
We all are great, in our own way, and I honor your way, as different as I may be, or, as we may be the same, who knows?
In any which case..............
Did I learn from you today? ABSOLUTELY!! And, I don't mind telling you............ do you, mind telling me, or someone else?
Tell someone, how they affected you, what you have learned from them. It doesn't matter your title, your position............get down and dirty.............. tell that "someone" just what they have done, for you, in you tiny, tiny, little existence here.
It won't hurt you............it will catapult you my friend................. it really will!!
Goodnight........... and many, many, sweet thoughts of you, and of me, evolving to places that we envision, everyday..............probably keeping them in a dream state......but as of tonight..........they are no longer dreams...............THEY ARE YOUR REALITY!! AND MINE!
I'm here............silently............cheering you on,
As always,
Gabriela
Monday, September 14, 2009
PRIVILEGED
I feel quite privileged tonight. Not just tonight, but this feeling, inside, is running so ramped that I can hardly stand it.....I'm about to burst............
Today wasn't anything out of the ordinary. Actually tons of paper work, finagling, and trying to be as creative as possible with how I want my little life to flow, how to fix, untangle, and get back to a spot that I think is on top of the "game", and start owning every aspect of my life.
I mean, really standing tall, and feeling good about where you are, what you are doing, who with, and what all the details are in that particular picture.
I have some homework to do.
What my mind sees, and where I am at, are two different things, but I will never negate the beauty that sits before me. I'm changing and growing at a vast speed.
Anyway, today was spontaneous, introspective, of course, how odd, Gabriela being introspective....... new? No!
But, the day unfolded and too boot, the weather was making me high. I am so happy for the weather, the change, the doors wide open, no fake air on in the house, all windows ablaze, curtains swingin' in the wind, The Australian Philharmonic playing in the background, and a call from a friend to say, hay, "I have an hour, let's visit".
I'm always down for a spontaneous visit, especially if it means some REAL relating, not just some coffee and gossip. If that were the case, I'd be like............. sounds good, but I have some paper work to do. Sorry! Nothing personal, just not much time for the "half" real.
I save that for moments at work, or going out, knowing your just gonna have fun, and call it a night. Plain, and simple. A cupala drinks, a few laughs, and you head home, giggling that, it just was, was it was. Sometimes I think we all need nights like that.
I went for my little visit, loved it, of course, and came home to the air changing, because of the time of day, the dogs got to stay out, which makes me a very happy momma. They have been in all day because of the vicious weather, and today, I opened every window, every French door, every, everything, so that fresh air could swarm through, and do a big ol' cleansing.........
I LOVED IT!
I reveled in the sky, it's colors, the smell of the wind coming in from the lake, and the newness of everything outside that seemed to flourish since the rainfall.
Tiny white and purple flowers were budding all over the place and I got so darn excited, I grabbed two dogs, put their leashes on, and headed out for a long, long walk that wound up being so enchanting, so innocent, and truly, mind blowing!
I say mind blowing, because when things are so blatant, so obvious, so simple and reminiscent of purity, I run for the hills, and pretend I never have to come back. I just want to revel in it's beauty, and smother myself in that feeling of love.........really, pure love.
Now, don't go sayin', "Oh, she's such a hippie, or love child", or all of that, ( I'm giggling, cuz it's true), but............ but............ c'mon guys............do you not feel this when life presents such incredible beauty? Are you that tied up in yourself that you can't get outside to notice the change in weather? The sprouting of new flowers, buds, new birds, not the same ones that were here when it was blazing hot, but new ones that must've come over goin," OK, this is my shift now!"
COME ON! Life is happening before your eyes. AAAAAhhhhh............grab a hold of one thing that you have noticed different, in the last day or two, and sit with it. Just for a tiny bit, and actually let yourself have a thought......... about............. it. See the thought through, and then, go........go back to TV or phone, or video, but just do me one favor, and give it a moment. You won't be sorry!
At least you can say that you were part of the change, or at least that you were remotely aware of something outside of your job, your relationship, or whatever it is that takes up most of your energy, brain power, or focus.
There is some gorgeous life out there that needs you to recognize it. Not for IT, but really, for YOU, to come HOME for a bit, and relax in the most natural environment that will sustain you for more "shelf life" than you realize.
I DO FEEL PRIVILEGED!!
I went on that walk with my two dogs, and just felt so light, so good, that at least, if nothing else, I have nature to back me up, and to remind me that I am not crazy..........that these are the true goods, not the wooden nickles I've bought into for so long.
I am privileged to feel such greatness................ in the midst of some very hairy times.
Thank you all who make my life worth smiling for............
I love you,
Gabriela
Today wasn't anything out of the ordinary. Actually tons of paper work, finagling, and trying to be as creative as possible with how I want my little life to flow, how to fix, untangle, and get back to a spot that I think is on top of the "game", and start owning every aspect of my life.
I mean, really standing tall, and feeling good about where you are, what you are doing, who with, and what all the details are in that particular picture.
I have some homework to do.
What my mind sees, and where I am at, are two different things, but I will never negate the beauty that sits before me. I'm changing and growing at a vast speed.
Anyway, today was spontaneous, introspective, of course, how odd, Gabriela being introspective....... new? No!
But, the day unfolded and too boot, the weather was making me high. I am so happy for the weather, the change, the doors wide open, no fake air on in the house, all windows ablaze, curtains swingin' in the wind, The Australian Philharmonic playing in the background, and a call from a friend to say, hay, "I have an hour, let's visit".
I'm always down for a spontaneous visit, especially if it means some REAL relating, not just some coffee and gossip. If that were the case, I'd be like............. sounds good, but I have some paper work to do. Sorry! Nothing personal, just not much time for the "half" real.
I save that for moments at work, or going out, knowing your just gonna have fun, and call it a night. Plain, and simple. A cupala drinks, a few laughs, and you head home, giggling that, it just was, was it was. Sometimes I think we all need nights like that.
I went for my little visit, loved it, of course, and came home to the air changing, because of the time of day, the dogs got to stay out, which makes me a very happy momma. They have been in all day because of the vicious weather, and today, I opened every window, every French door, every, everything, so that fresh air could swarm through, and do a big ol' cleansing.........
I LOVED IT!
I reveled in the sky, it's colors, the smell of the wind coming in from the lake, and the newness of everything outside that seemed to flourish since the rainfall.
Tiny white and purple flowers were budding all over the place and I got so darn excited, I grabbed two dogs, put their leashes on, and headed out for a long, long walk that wound up being so enchanting, so innocent, and truly, mind blowing!
I say mind blowing, because when things are so blatant, so obvious, so simple and reminiscent of purity, I run for the hills, and pretend I never have to come back. I just want to revel in it's beauty, and smother myself in that feeling of love.........really, pure love.
Now, don't go sayin', "Oh, she's such a hippie, or love child", or all of that, ( I'm giggling, cuz it's true), but............ but............ c'mon guys............do you not feel this when life presents such incredible beauty? Are you that tied up in yourself that you can't get outside to notice the change in weather? The sprouting of new flowers, buds, new birds, not the same ones that were here when it was blazing hot, but new ones that must've come over goin," OK, this is my shift now!"
COME ON! Life is happening before your eyes. AAAAAhhhhh............grab a hold of one thing that you have noticed different, in the last day or two, and sit with it. Just for a tiny bit, and actually let yourself have a thought......... about............. it. See the thought through, and then, go........go back to TV or phone, or video, but just do me one favor, and give it a moment. You won't be sorry!
At least you can say that you were part of the change, or at least that you were remotely aware of something outside of your job, your relationship, or whatever it is that takes up most of your energy, brain power, or focus.
There is some gorgeous life out there that needs you to recognize it. Not for IT, but really, for YOU, to come HOME for a bit, and relax in the most natural environment that will sustain you for more "shelf life" than you realize.
I DO FEEL PRIVILEGED!!
I went on that walk with my two dogs, and just felt so light, so good, that at least, if nothing else, I have nature to back me up, and to remind me that I am not crazy..........that these are the true goods, not the wooden nickles I've bought into for so long.
I am privileged to feel such greatness................ in the midst of some very hairy times.
Thank you all who make my life worth smiling for............
I love you,
Gabriela
Sunday, September 13, 2009
WIDE OPEN
There is a certain "love/hate" relationship we encounter when our lives are so wide open, to change, to circumstance, and to the unknown.
First, let me say, I say, "love/hate", because it is a known analogy, not because I think I really HATE something, or presume that you actually HATE something, but that it may be something that is just utterly uncomfortable, and maybe against the normal way of us doing things the way we know, or the way in which we think is the "right" way, or plainly, just out of our control.
We may be forced into situations that we have to adjust to, out of a circumstance, and if, by grace, we can possibly feel an openness to "whatever happens next", as the proverbial, "live in the moment" type of talk, than I think we should be screaming from the bleachers. ( can't help but to have a visual of my mom, standing up in the bleachers at my softball games, yelling out, "GO JONER BONER", an endearing term or name she had for me, in all of her innocence, ( me melting at the plate, of course), hoping the game would just continue, but there she was, the only Mom, cheering in the crowd, as cute as could be, in retrospect, of course.
OK, so scream from the bleachers if you think you are at least half way there!
Where is your life right now? Is it exactly where you want it to be? Are you having to compromise a bit? Are you struggling to get to the next day, or wondering how the heck you are going to make it to work? Keep your job?
What? What is it for you?
Ya know what? The circumstance doens't matter, because, if..........key word being IF..... you are WIDE OPEN for the Universe, or God, or whatever name you want to deem your angel, your miracle worker.......IF YOU ARE WIDE OPEN............ life will present, exactly what you need in every precise moment.
It may not look like it, but if you can somehow, sort through what you think SHOULD BE HAPPENING, and take a look at what IS HAPPENING, and see the gifts in THAT, than I think you shall be "rewarded" for your efforts.
What efforts? Your efforts in trusting that life is a series of events that happen, but also, events that you call in yourself, out of your own thought processes. Nonetheless, I think someone out there listens to your requests, and tries, vehemetly to fulfill them, and if you keep your strength in those thoughts, than they will be rewarded, so to speak. So, be careful what you focus on in your spare time, you just might get it...........ahhh, then what to do??
Really! I'm not trying to go off on some esoteric tangent, but just relaying what seems real to me, and if it doesn't to you, that is OK, you did some light reading on a rainy day in Austin, or some computer surfing on a boring Sunday night, somewhere in the world.
Everything is happening for a reason. What that reason is, well.......sometimes we intuitively know, and sometimes it takes a lot of quiet nights, contemplating life, and putting the pieces of the puzzle together, or making regular appointments to see a fine, fine therapist, that either points stuff out, or guides you to the pool of realization and then you do the swimming all on your own.........I dunno, you pick........you might have a better selection, or.........none at all.............but........there is always a choice..........
WIDE OPEN, WIDE OPEN, WIDE OPEN............. I envision me opening up my chest, from left to right, stretching my arms out so far to the left and so far to the right, and then standing there, all open and ready for something great to come in......something so phenomenal, that it will knock my socks off, and keep my questioning at bay for awhile.
It's been a long, long time since that has happened.
I want something that will knock my socks off man.
Challenge my ever questioning soul, and give me some solid answers that will back up the mystery of my existence.
Anyone?
C'mon....... I'll make dessert........... good meatballs?
OK, wait, I'm in Texas................ I'LL MAKE GOOD HOT WINGS..................
I'm sure I'll have a crowd at the door!
For the wings or for the offerings of great answers??? We'll see.............
I'm wide open to move in the direction of the wind.........the natural wind that will carry me to the place it knows I want to be.
My lips might be burnin' on the way, but I'll be fine.
Jalapenos and questions answered might suffice for a good night in Austin, inside, doing what I love.
Hop on board the WIDE OPEN SHIP.
It's a party tonight!!!
~
First, let me say, I say, "love/hate", because it is a known analogy, not because I think I really HATE something, or presume that you actually HATE something, but that it may be something that is just utterly uncomfortable, and maybe against the normal way of us doing things the way we know, or the way in which we think is the "right" way, or plainly, just out of our control.
We may be forced into situations that we have to adjust to, out of a circumstance, and if, by grace, we can possibly feel an openness to "whatever happens next", as the proverbial, "live in the moment" type of talk, than I think we should be screaming from the bleachers. ( can't help but to have a visual of my mom, standing up in the bleachers at my softball games, yelling out, "GO JONER BONER", an endearing term or name she had for me, in all of her innocence, ( me melting at the plate, of course), hoping the game would just continue, but there she was, the only Mom, cheering in the crowd, as cute as could be, in retrospect, of course.
OK, so scream from the bleachers if you think you are at least half way there!
Where is your life right now? Is it exactly where you want it to be? Are you having to compromise a bit? Are you struggling to get to the next day, or wondering how the heck you are going to make it to work? Keep your job?
What? What is it for you?
Ya know what? The circumstance doens't matter, because, if..........key word being IF..... you are WIDE OPEN for the Universe, or God, or whatever name you want to deem your angel, your miracle worker.......IF YOU ARE WIDE OPEN............ life will present, exactly what you need in every precise moment.
It may not look like it, but if you can somehow, sort through what you think SHOULD BE HAPPENING, and take a look at what IS HAPPENING, and see the gifts in THAT, than I think you shall be "rewarded" for your efforts.
What efforts? Your efforts in trusting that life is a series of events that happen, but also, events that you call in yourself, out of your own thought processes. Nonetheless, I think someone out there listens to your requests, and tries, vehemetly to fulfill them, and if you keep your strength in those thoughts, than they will be rewarded, so to speak. So, be careful what you focus on in your spare time, you just might get it...........ahhh, then what to do??
Really! I'm not trying to go off on some esoteric tangent, but just relaying what seems real to me, and if it doesn't to you, that is OK, you did some light reading on a rainy day in Austin, or some computer surfing on a boring Sunday night, somewhere in the world.
Everything is happening for a reason. What that reason is, well.......sometimes we intuitively know, and sometimes it takes a lot of quiet nights, contemplating life, and putting the pieces of the puzzle together, or making regular appointments to see a fine, fine therapist, that either points stuff out, or guides you to the pool of realization and then you do the swimming all on your own.........I dunno, you pick........you might have a better selection, or.........none at all.............but........there is always a choice..........
WIDE OPEN, WIDE OPEN, WIDE OPEN............. I envision me opening up my chest, from left to right, stretching my arms out so far to the left and so far to the right, and then standing there, all open and ready for something great to come in......something so phenomenal, that it will knock my socks off, and keep my questioning at bay for awhile.
It's been a long, long time since that has happened.
I want something that will knock my socks off man.
Challenge my ever questioning soul, and give me some solid answers that will back up the mystery of my existence.
Anyone?
C'mon....... I'll make dessert........... good meatballs?
OK, wait, I'm in Texas................ I'LL MAKE GOOD HOT WINGS..................
I'm sure I'll have a crowd at the door!
For the wings or for the offerings of great answers??? We'll see.............
I'm wide open to move in the direction of the wind.........the natural wind that will carry me to the place it knows I want to be.
My lips might be burnin' on the way, but I'll be fine.
Jalapenos and questions answered might suffice for a good night in Austin, inside, doing what I love.
Hop on board the WIDE OPEN SHIP.
It's a party tonight!!!
~
JUST HOW MUCH DO YOU REALLY TRUST?
Can you really live your life so moment to moment, knowing that all REALLY WILL BE OK, when there are so many questions, so many things that need to happen, and yet, things just don't seem to be going your way?
Are you at least keeping a sense of humor in it all?
The name of the game really IS trust, and if you are living moment to moment, there has to be some ingrained trust in there, to be able to forge forward, no matter what is happening.
We have all been there, and maybe revisited several times, back and forth, but the main thing is,
WE MADE IT THROUGH.
How incredible is that? Don't dismiss that..........
That is huge!
Lets just start with baby steps.
If you are trusting someone, some thing, or some certain process, that seems to be working for you, you are on the right track.
That is #1.
Let's start there, and build a foundation.............
"An eclectic one, I say."..............
We'll build our "house" from there.........
I'll bring the wine and cheese............
You bring the cement and stone...........
That should get us started!
(don't ask me, I just interpret) ;)
Go with it, just as I do...........
It so works............
Gnite lovers
Are you at least keeping a sense of humor in it all?
The name of the game really IS trust, and if you are living moment to moment, there has to be some ingrained trust in there, to be able to forge forward, no matter what is happening.
We have all been there, and maybe revisited several times, back and forth, but the main thing is,
WE MADE IT THROUGH.
How incredible is that? Don't dismiss that..........
That is huge!
Lets just start with baby steps.
If you are trusting someone, some thing, or some certain process, that seems to be working for you, you are on the right track.
That is #1.
Let's start there, and build a foundation.............
"An eclectic one, I say."..............
We'll build our "house" from there.........
I'll bring the wine and cheese............
You bring the cement and stone...........
That should get us started!
(don't ask me, I just interpret) ;)
Go with it, just as I do...........
It so works............
Gnite lovers
Friday, September 11, 2009
THERE'S NOTHING LIKE.........
......... the beauty of rain.
I got out of work late, and drove home in the pouring rain. I drove slow and just listened to it pour down on the hood of the truck.
I don't care what rain falls down on. To me, it could pour down on anything and sound like a symphony, at it's best.
Needless to say my drive home was so soothing after running around all night.
By the time I got home, I couldn't resist getting out, and just going for a walk.
It smelled too good, sounded too good, and really, I just absolutely love the feel of walking in the rain, especially when it pours down. That smell is so amazing to me, and it's kind of like, "how often do you get to be outside, in all of natures glory, doing what it does best", fully clothed, not caring if your hair gets messed up, your make up smeared, your clothes or shoes wet...........
It's just a big fat WHO CARES, and it feels so damn good!!!
I opened my mouth to catch the rain. Stuck my hands out to feel it pounding on my palms, swished my shoes in the puddles........... you can't help but to giggle at how cool it is, and the fact that you really do become a kid again, and it makes for the most cozy feeling inside.
Then it dawned on me that I was off the next day, and that I can actually sleep in. I get to open the doors to my deck, hear the rain, smell the rain, and know that I will sleep well, with that alone.
Why is it that certain types of weather affect our moods? Some people get depressed by rain. I can see living in Seattle and getting depressed but not here, especially when we've been living in the Mohave dessert for the last several months.
Blast the doors open and get a whiff!
Mother nature just opened up the sky and blasted us with some goods. Take it in!!
It always feels good too, and is needed so much by my type of personality, that you have many hours of being social, upbeat and just moving, that, when you do get to have great opportunities like this, it brings you right back to the place that you know is your first home, even if you don't stay there too long in your days.
It becomes a natural retreat, and like going on a real retreat, somewhere conducive , beautiful and everything that you would want to make you feel your best, it brings you to a center. Grounds you and makes it all worth the "getting wet", and messed up.
I took the dogs out, cuz you know how much dogs love the rain...........not!
They go if I go..........and they are so darn cute trying to run for cover.
That innocence was icing on the cake.
It always, without a doubt, reminds me how life really IS THIS SIMPLE, and how we all get off on tangents, is beyond me...........knowing the difference in feeling, inwardly, and outwardly.
Do yourself a favor.........check the rain out.........peek your head outside your window, or door, and get a good whiff of what I'm talkin' about. Stick your tongue out to catch a few drops.
Hell, do what I did........ just get your butt out there and go for a quick run in it.
DO IT, YOU'LL HAVE FUN AND LAUGH LIKE A KID AGAIN.
You don't have to tell anyone, just do it, and revel in your own innocent pleasures.
(I wanna know though.......heee)
Share the goods, tell me your experiences............ it's what keeps me alive............
INNOCENCE THAT IS.............. THE SIMPLE PLEASURES IN LIFE THAT DON'T COST A DIME.
Hope it rains tomorrow.
It might just be a movie day, in my pajamas.
Rain always warrants that too.
Always count on Blockbuster being busy on those kind of days.
Enjoy the rain my friends.
I'll be thinking of you.
Have a beautiful night.
Tons of love,
Gabriela
I got out of work late, and drove home in the pouring rain. I drove slow and just listened to it pour down on the hood of the truck.
I don't care what rain falls down on. To me, it could pour down on anything and sound like a symphony, at it's best.
Needless to say my drive home was so soothing after running around all night.
By the time I got home, I couldn't resist getting out, and just going for a walk.
It smelled too good, sounded too good, and really, I just absolutely love the feel of walking in the rain, especially when it pours down. That smell is so amazing to me, and it's kind of like, "how often do you get to be outside, in all of natures glory, doing what it does best", fully clothed, not caring if your hair gets messed up, your make up smeared, your clothes or shoes wet...........
It's just a big fat WHO CARES, and it feels so damn good!!!
I opened my mouth to catch the rain. Stuck my hands out to feel it pounding on my palms, swished my shoes in the puddles........... you can't help but to giggle at how cool it is, and the fact that you really do become a kid again, and it makes for the most cozy feeling inside.
Then it dawned on me that I was off the next day, and that I can actually sleep in. I get to open the doors to my deck, hear the rain, smell the rain, and know that I will sleep well, with that alone.
Why is it that certain types of weather affect our moods? Some people get depressed by rain. I can see living in Seattle and getting depressed but not here, especially when we've been living in the Mohave dessert for the last several months.
Blast the doors open and get a whiff!
Mother nature just opened up the sky and blasted us with some goods. Take it in!!
It always feels good too, and is needed so much by my type of personality, that you have many hours of being social, upbeat and just moving, that, when you do get to have great opportunities like this, it brings you right back to the place that you know is your first home, even if you don't stay there too long in your days.
It becomes a natural retreat, and like going on a real retreat, somewhere conducive , beautiful and everything that you would want to make you feel your best, it brings you to a center. Grounds you and makes it all worth the "getting wet", and messed up.
I took the dogs out, cuz you know how much dogs love the rain...........not!
They go if I go..........and they are so darn cute trying to run for cover.
That innocence was icing on the cake.
It always, without a doubt, reminds me how life really IS THIS SIMPLE, and how we all get off on tangents, is beyond me...........knowing the difference in feeling, inwardly, and outwardly.
Do yourself a favor.........check the rain out.........peek your head outside your window, or door, and get a good whiff of what I'm talkin' about. Stick your tongue out to catch a few drops.
Hell, do what I did........ just get your butt out there and go for a quick run in it.
DO IT, YOU'LL HAVE FUN AND LAUGH LIKE A KID AGAIN.
You don't have to tell anyone, just do it, and revel in your own innocent pleasures.
(I wanna know though.......heee)
Share the goods, tell me your experiences............ it's what keeps me alive............
INNOCENCE THAT IS.............. THE SIMPLE PLEASURES IN LIFE THAT DON'T COST A DIME.
Hope it rains tomorrow.
It might just be a movie day, in my pajamas.
Rain always warrants that too.
Always count on Blockbuster being busy on those kind of days.
Enjoy the rain my friends.
I'll be thinking of you.
Have a beautiful night.
Tons of love,
Gabriela
Wednesday, September 9, 2009
FEELING SAFE.........TRULY SAFE!
Where, or what, is it that makes you feel the most safe? Is it someone? Some particular thing, some place, or just a feeling inside that coats you with a warmth that is only given by you, and your own experience?
When I say safe, it doesn't necessarily mean that you are in some kind of harm, or danger, but the physical sensation of feeling safe, like you are completely at rest, and not in any way, shape or form exposed to something that is a out of that realm, is what I want to look at and ask.
When are you feeling most safe? Where are you? Who is there? What do you smell, taste, touch, and hear?
Really, go there, and get back to me. Take your time.
There is no reason, why, at any point and time, you should feel UNSAFE!
Granted, I realize some things are out of our control, and that never will make it right, but it does happen.
But I want to say to you, that even if the outside circumstances are out of your control, and they are seemingly unsafe, that there are choices for us to feel SAFE, and ways to get to a calm ground.
We may not be able to access where that may be, or wrap our brains around how to do it, but with a genuine willingness, and an open heart, life will present someone, or something, to show you just how to access that information, from a very simple and a basic level.
The truth is, if we are depending on someone for that safety, and security, and don't actually know it, innately, we are leaving ourselves susceptible and vulnerable, to be able to fight, in ways that we may not know how.
No matter who you are, male or female, we all need to know how to access a safe place, whether it be physical, or mental.
We can't just go on thinking that we will always be safe, just existing.
This is not a scare blog, just a reality check blog, tonight.
Especially for my women friends who depend on their male counterparts to take care of business, or to feel safe and comforted.
Pretend you are alone!
What would you do different?
Even if you are in relation with someone, do you feel safe INSIDE? You may feel safe on that outside, but are you feeling safe on the inside?
Just a question to ask if you would like.
I want us all to be free from harm, diving into safe abyss' with no reservation.
How about you?
Let's be aware, eyes peeled, and arms down, loving and accepting what is in our lives, and not being paranoid about what may or may not happen.
It's all about awareness, right?
Stay tucked in tonight, in your safe little place, and be grateful for that cuddly place. It is rare.
Get an extra blanket for me...............
We can have a slumber party..........
xoxoxo gabriela
When I say safe, it doesn't necessarily mean that you are in some kind of harm, or danger, but the physical sensation of feeling safe, like you are completely at rest, and not in any way, shape or form exposed to something that is a out of that realm, is what I want to look at and ask.
When are you feeling most safe? Where are you? Who is there? What do you smell, taste, touch, and hear?
Really, go there, and get back to me. Take your time.
There is no reason, why, at any point and time, you should feel UNSAFE!
Granted, I realize some things are out of our control, and that never will make it right, but it does happen.
But I want to say to you, that even if the outside circumstances are out of your control, and they are seemingly unsafe, that there are choices for us to feel SAFE, and ways to get to a calm ground.
We may not be able to access where that may be, or wrap our brains around how to do it, but with a genuine willingness, and an open heart, life will present someone, or something, to show you just how to access that information, from a very simple and a basic level.
The truth is, if we are depending on someone for that safety, and security, and don't actually know it, innately, we are leaving ourselves susceptible and vulnerable, to be able to fight, in ways that we may not know how.
No matter who you are, male or female, we all need to know how to access a safe place, whether it be physical, or mental.
We can't just go on thinking that we will always be safe, just existing.
This is not a scare blog, just a reality check blog, tonight.
Especially for my women friends who depend on their male counterparts to take care of business, or to feel safe and comforted.
Pretend you are alone!
What would you do different?
Even if you are in relation with someone, do you feel safe INSIDE? You may feel safe on that outside, but are you feeling safe on the inside?
Just a question to ask if you would like.
I want us all to be free from harm, diving into safe abyss' with no reservation.
How about you?
Let's be aware, eyes peeled, and arms down, loving and accepting what is in our lives, and not being paranoid about what may or may not happen.
It's all about awareness, right?
Stay tucked in tonight, in your safe little place, and be grateful for that cuddly place. It is rare.
Get an extra blanket for me...............
We can have a slumber party..........
xoxoxo gabriela
Tuesday, September 8, 2009
MAKING THE BEST OUT OF SITUATIONS
Wow.......let's see, where do I start? So much to say, on so many different subjects. See, this is why I need to be at home, writing, for hours on end, to catch up with my own self, and then, find some extra time, to reiterate, what it is that my soul is screaming out for, to you, so then maybe we can create a domino affect.
Ya know, there really are reasons for why things happen, even if you think they stink, at the time.
For awhile, I thought a certain situation really stunk, like, man, this is too bad! What a shame, that this can't broaden, expand, or whatever you want to deem it.
But after tonight, I see that things do really play out for our own good, and that we should embrace things out of our control, to use them as tools, and great teachers, to grow, and to surrender to some undercurrent happenings that may be left undone, things that need attention.
After years of doing this type of work, it sounds boring, contrite, and too esoteric to entertain as a thought on a Tuesday night.
Life hands us situations that need attending to, whether it be family , friends, lovers, relationships, dreams, and so on, and so on.
You can look at these situations as a hindrance, but, really, they are a gift from god that tells you, yes, you want to be "there", or not to be there. You will learn, no matter what.
We are not victim of circumstance, and if we are in the right zone, we will take ALL situations, see them for what they are, and move on, put them in their place, and take from it, what is needed for our evolution, or, make a fantasy out of it, and go to town!
I'll take the not a victim of circumstance, and leave it at that.
God, let me continue in the morning...........it's too late, and this is a luscious subject...........I don't want to belittle it by any means.
Stay tuned...............
love you so much,
g
Ya know, there really are reasons for why things happen, even if you think they stink, at the time.
For awhile, I thought a certain situation really stunk, like, man, this is too bad! What a shame, that this can't broaden, expand, or whatever you want to deem it.
But after tonight, I see that things do really play out for our own good, and that we should embrace things out of our control, to use them as tools, and great teachers, to grow, and to surrender to some undercurrent happenings that may be left undone, things that need attention.
After years of doing this type of work, it sounds boring, contrite, and too esoteric to entertain as a thought on a Tuesday night.
Life hands us situations that need attending to, whether it be family , friends, lovers, relationships, dreams, and so on, and so on.
You can look at these situations as a hindrance, but, really, they are a gift from god that tells you, yes, you want to be "there", or not to be there. You will learn, no matter what.
We are not victim of circumstance, and if we are in the right zone, we will take ALL situations, see them for what they are, and move on, put them in their place, and take from it, what is needed for our evolution, or, make a fantasy out of it, and go to town!
I'll take the not a victim of circumstance, and leave it at that.
God, let me continue in the morning...........it's too late, and this is a luscious subject...........I don't want to belittle it by any means.
Stay tuned...............
love you so much,
g
Monday, September 7, 2009
NOT JUST DREAMING, BUT MAKING...........
.............things REALLY HAPPEN!
It is one thing to speak of things we would love, or things we would love to have, but it is another thing to actually MAKE IT HAPPEN. Really, no matter what it is!!
I was born a dreamer, and any, any, any thing, I have wanted, I have achieved, or have attained, through persistence, and just being the little shit that I am, I push my way and grunt and grumble until I actually see some results.
Unfortunately, my desires are always so way out there, and seemingly, unattainable, but man, I stop at nothing.
It excites me to know there is no stopping, or anything, ANYTHING, to hold me back.
I'm happy to know, for some reason, that I don't get intimidated easily. Well, maybe I get humbled, and well, just sit back and learn whatever it is that I don't know just yet, but whatever it is, I catch on quickly...........ahem........maybe not with numbers and accounting............ just let me hire someone OK............. please? For that one, at least. Even that, I'll probably get over, and finally get a grip on it so I don't fall prey to "something", and let it get the best of me. At this point in my life, that should be written in stone for me.
That's just me though!
I am in awe of everyday, that when I finally have a moment to think, to not be social, or busy, and just relax into my being........... I go to my zone........which is............always, how am I going to get to my goals?? As I said, "They are not little".
I try to condense my desires, and start one at a time. It can be overwhelming, because there are many, and to try to prioritize is a challenge, really, it is. But at the same time, I don't want to lose sight of anything.
One step at a time.
So, for the last week, I have been so enmeshed in what it REALLY TAKES, to be great!
I don't mean egotistically, I mean, great at your art! Whatever that may be to you.
I think of all of the people that inspire me. Tchaikovsky, Chopin, Baryshnikov, Rakmoninoff, Van Gogh, Emerson, Twain, Einstein, Kahlil Gibran, Hepburn, Martin Luther King, Gandhi, St. Francis of Assisi., Jesus, Christ, Buddha,........there are so many more, Oh, and yes, Michael Jackson, a fine, fine example of how art moves through you, and is not OF you. I can't think of everyone tonight......the poignant ones.......and I'll be bummed that I didn't remember them. I'll have to do a P.S. just so I don't leave them out.
People who went the extra mile, to go beyond themselves, to tap into an internal art, that translates, to us, excellence, in what, we cannot even name, to get the point across, whether it was through music or writing, or dance....... they tapped into the abyss, to bring about great art, a great piece, and they left themselves behind, to execute a fine art, that expresses their love, their infinite passion, for a love that goes way beyond thought, and takes you on a journey that you, yourself, cannot even comprehend.
THAT IS WHAT I AM TALKING ABOUT!
I think to myself everyday, what does it take to make a fine piece? A craft that only exudes excellence?
To me, and for my craft, that means a lot of alone time, without feeling guilty, or out of the "norm".
Seriously, I think Wow, I am sure Chopin or Tchaikovsky wasn't text messaging, or going to Starbucks on their time off.
They were, more than likely, talked about, shunned, for their diligence. But they had a vision, and even if someone didn't believe in it, or nobody at all, they pioneered their way through, with the absolute assurance that they were on track, for what they saw, as THEIR vision, and that it would somehow, HAVE TO, move people, as it has moved them, the "creators", to a place that in unexplaineable!
I don't think, however, that their thought in all of their ingenious ways, was to set out to "move people".
I don't think that at all! And for myself, that is not a goal.
The goal is to fine tune a god given craft, or your expression, so that a Source beyond you, can sail through you, and whatever may come out of that, is what comes out. It certainly isn't for a praise, or a standing ovation, by any means, at least not for me, anyway.
As a matter of fact, when it does come down to thank yous and whatever the responses are, you sit back and humbly accept something that you don't really feel you aught to take credence for.
It's kind of a ......... Wow, I witnessed the same thing, wasn't that cool? But certainly not as if it was YOU, who did something.
It is an acknowledgement that goes deeper than words can express, but needs to be looked at so that evolution can happen through that medium.
I don't want to space out in New Age Land, where everything becomes esoteric, peace, love and flowers........although, haha, I do have that, but there is a time and a place.
I WANT TO KNOW WHAT IT TAKES TO GET OUT OF THE WAY, TO BRING FORTH GREAT ART, AND TO ALLOW THAT TO EXPAND beyond my imagination.
That, to me, needs time, perseverance, diligence, and a razor sharp edge that will allow you the specific time to tap into such a reservoir of knowledge. Your innate beingness, is always there, ready and available to take your hand, to show you the way, to yourself, about yourself, and through yourself.
It will, no doubt, show you who you are, much to your own surprise, and heighten your awareness, into a realm that only speaks to those who are truly listening, to hear the most quiet call........the call that will speak volumes, if you are attuned, and change you in ways that you would never, in a million years, imagine!
BE YOUR OWN PIONEER!!
Stick to what you know is real and true, even if NO ONE seemingly gets it, or if you find yourself the only one on your team.
There really is no losing in this game. It is YOUR LIFE and who says that any ones comments has anything to do with that...................RIGHT?
GET OUT THERE! WHAT IS IT THAT YOU YEARN FOR?
Feel your passion. Do whatever it takes to taste that passion, to hear it, smell it, and embrace it, like a warm blanket on a cold night.
Be excited for every possibility.
There are so many, hidden behind what we see on a daily basis.
Take yourself out of that daily grind, that daily "view", and give yourself just a few moments to tap into what you REALLY know to be true.
It is worth the time out.
Spend some time alone. Get away from the TV, the dinners, the IPod, ITunes, computer, and the IPhone, and tell it you'll be there in the morning.
Tonight, check YOU out, and see what it is, NO MATTER HOW BIG OR SEEMINGLY UNATTAINABLE IT IS, and start a check list, a small one, to see what it is that you need to do to start on your journey.
Don't let any thought come in that stops you.
" I don't have the money, the means, the car, the smarts, the anything that your mind comes up with................YES YOU DO.............ALL OF IT..............
NO EXCUSES...............
There is a great saying that I love. It was inscribed in French, on a sword that was given to me from a friend.
The sword is symbolic of Joan of Arc, and her bravery, courage and tenacity to change things that she believed in, against all odds.
The saying is, "Aide toy, Dieu te aidera".............. "God helps those who help themselves".
Go the extra mile, and do something for yourself that no one, NO ONE, else will do for you!
See your own dreams through.
Know that you did your own homework to achieve what you have.
There is power in being your own individual.
There is power in loving yourself enough, to not buy into the mass belief system, that you need to be doing what every other person is doing on the face of the earth, even if you are odd man out!
BE ODD MAN OUT!
I'll meet you at the lemonade stand............ c'mon............it's 5 cents.............or wait, maybe it's a dollar fifty now.................I've aged.
Go with it.............it's the flow I'm talkin' about.
Let God flow through you...................then, you can sit back and laugh at what soared through you............then, only then, does it all seem ok.............and trite..............yet.............. satisfactory!!
Blown away tonight..............
You know where I'm goin.................
Inside, where my only safety, clarity, and Truth lies.
I love you more than ever............
G'nite all!
It is one thing to speak of things we would love, or things we would love to have, but it is another thing to actually MAKE IT HAPPEN. Really, no matter what it is!!
I was born a dreamer, and any, any, any thing, I have wanted, I have achieved, or have attained, through persistence, and just being the little shit that I am, I push my way and grunt and grumble until I actually see some results.
Unfortunately, my desires are always so way out there, and seemingly, unattainable, but man, I stop at nothing.
It excites me to know there is no stopping, or anything, ANYTHING, to hold me back.
I'm happy to know, for some reason, that I don't get intimidated easily. Well, maybe I get humbled, and well, just sit back and learn whatever it is that I don't know just yet, but whatever it is, I catch on quickly...........ahem........maybe not with numbers and accounting............ just let me hire someone OK............. please? For that one, at least. Even that, I'll probably get over, and finally get a grip on it so I don't fall prey to "something", and let it get the best of me. At this point in my life, that should be written in stone for me.
That's just me though!
I am in awe of everyday, that when I finally have a moment to think, to not be social, or busy, and just relax into my being........... I go to my zone........which is............always, how am I going to get to my goals?? As I said, "They are not little".
I try to condense my desires, and start one at a time. It can be overwhelming, because there are many, and to try to prioritize is a challenge, really, it is. But at the same time, I don't want to lose sight of anything.
One step at a time.
So, for the last week, I have been so enmeshed in what it REALLY TAKES, to be great!
I don't mean egotistically, I mean, great at your art! Whatever that may be to you.
I think of all of the people that inspire me. Tchaikovsky, Chopin, Baryshnikov, Rakmoninoff, Van Gogh, Emerson, Twain, Einstein, Kahlil Gibran, Hepburn, Martin Luther King, Gandhi, St. Francis of Assisi., Jesus, Christ, Buddha,........there are so many more, Oh, and yes, Michael Jackson, a fine, fine example of how art moves through you, and is not OF you. I can't think of everyone tonight......the poignant ones.......and I'll be bummed that I didn't remember them. I'll have to do a P.S. just so I don't leave them out.
People who went the extra mile, to go beyond themselves, to tap into an internal art, that translates, to us, excellence, in what, we cannot even name, to get the point across, whether it was through music or writing, or dance....... they tapped into the abyss, to bring about great art, a great piece, and they left themselves behind, to execute a fine art, that expresses their love, their infinite passion, for a love that goes way beyond thought, and takes you on a journey that you, yourself, cannot even comprehend.
THAT IS WHAT I AM TALKING ABOUT!
I think to myself everyday, what does it take to make a fine piece? A craft that only exudes excellence?
To me, and for my craft, that means a lot of alone time, without feeling guilty, or out of the "norm".
Seriously, I think Wow, I am sure Chopin or Tchaikovsky wasn't text messaging, or going to Starbucks on their time off.
They were, more than likely, talked about, shunned, for their diligence. But they had a vision, and even if someone didn't believe in it, or nobody at all, they pioneered their way through, with the absolute assurance that they were on track, for what they saw, as THEIR vision, and that it would somehow, HAVE TO, move people, as it has moved them, the "creators", to a place that in unexplaineable!
I don't think, however, that their thought in all of their ingenious ways, was to set out to "move people".
I don't think that at all! And for myself, that is not a goal.
The goal is to fine tune a god given craft, or your expression, so that a Source beyond you, can sail through you, and whatever may come out of that, is what comes out. It certainly isn't for a praise, or a standing ovation, by any means, at least not for me, anyway.
As a matter of fact, when it does come down to thank yous and whatever the responses are, you sit back and humbly accept something that you don't really feel you aught to take credence for.
It's kind of a ......... Wow, I witnessed the same thing, wasn't that cool? But certainly not as if it was YOU, who did something.
It is an acknowledgement that goes deeper than words can express, but needs to be looked at so that evolution can happen through that medium.
I don't want to space out in New Age Land, where everything becomes esoteric, peace, love and flowers........although, haha, I do have that, but there is a time and a place.
I WANT TO KNOW WHAT IT TAKES TO GET OUT OF THE WAY, TO BRING FORTH GREAT ART, AND TO ALLOW THAT TO EXPAND beyond my imagination.
That, to me, needs time, perseverance, diligence, and a razor sharp edge that will allow you the specific time to tap into such a reservoir of knowledge. Your innate beingness, is always there, ready and available to take your hand, to show you the way, to yourself, about yourself, and through yourself.
It will, no doubt, show you who you are, much to your own surprise, and heighten your awareness, into a realm that only speaks to those who are truly listening, to hear the most quiet call........the call that will speak volumes, if you are attuned, and change you in ways that you would never, in a million years, imagine!
BE YOUR OWN PIONEER!!
Stick to what you know is real and true, even if NO ONE seemingly gets it, or if you find yourself the only one on your team.
There really is no losing in this game. It is YOUR LIFE and who says that any ones comments has anything to do with that...................RIGHT?
GET OUT THERE! WHAT IS IT THAT YOU YEARN FOR?
Feel your passion. Do whatever it takes to taste that passion, to hear it, smell it, and embrace it, like a warm blanket on a cold night.
Be excited for every possibility.
There are so many, hidden behind what we see on a daily basis.
Take yourself out of that daily grind, that daily "view", and give yourself just a few moments to tap into what you REALLY know to be true.
It is worth the time out.
Spend some time alone. Get away from the TV, the dinners, the IPod, ITunes, computer, and the IPhone, and tell it you'll be there in the morning.
Tonight, check YOU out, and see what it is, NO MATTER HOW BIG OR SEEMINGLY UNATTAINABLE IT IS, and start a check list, a small one, to see what it is that you need to do to start on your journey.
Don't let any thought come in that stops you.
" I don't have the money, the means, the car, the smarts, the anything that your mind comes up with................YES YOU DO.............ALL OF IT..............
NO EXCUSES...............
There is a great saying that I love. It was inscribed in French, on a sword that was given to me from a friend.
The sword is symbolic of Joan of Arc, and her bravery, courage and tenacity to change things that she believed in, against all odds.
The saying is, "Aide toy, Dieu te aidera".............. "God helps those who help themselves".
Go the extra mile, and do something for yourself that no one, NO ONE, else will do for you!
See your own dreams through.
Know that you did your own homework to achieve what you have.
There is power in being your own individual.
There is power in loving yourself enough, to not buy into the mass belief system, that you need to be doing what every other person is doing on the face of the earth, even if you are odd man out!
BE ODD MAN OUT!
I'll meet you at the lemonade stand............ c'mon............it's 5 cents.............or wait, maybe it's a dollar fifty now.................I've aged.
Go with it.............it's the flow I'm talkin' about.
Let God flow through you...................then, you can sit back and laugh at what soared through you............then, only then, does it all seem ok.............and trite..............yet.............. satisfactory!!
Blown away tonight..............
You know where I'm goin.................
Inside, where my only safety, clarity, and Truth lies.
I love you more than ever............
G'nite all!
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