Ya know, I have read, studied, contemplated, meditated, and every other word that would describe analizing, or not, analizing the why's and hows of our existence, and too, not having a single thought about it all, in trying to uncover if I just need to sit back and let the Universe work it's magic, or to get my little "Vision Board" out, to detail my life to the bone, to make sure I am putting out there, exactly what it is that I want, in fear, that if I leave it up to "chance", or the Universe, that some message will get misinterpreted, and I will somehow blame something or someone, for distracting me from my goals.
It starts to become too mindy, too much thought, to just simply live and to just carry out some things that you love to do, and make some necessary steps to achieve them.
The interesting twist is, when you start putting all of that out there, and God, or the Universe, insists that your life should go one way, and you are drawing a map to frigin Tuscany and all of a sudden you find yourself on the East side of some remote city, that you wonder, how in god's name did I get here............I thought I said Tuscany??? Did I say East Tuscany and they forgot the word Tuscany? What? Was I not specific enough? Ahhh, it all gets to be too much. Was I explicit? Did I word that right? Was the incense on the wrong side of my white candles that were burning, next to my affirmations that were hung and pasted on my altar, the wall>> what??
hahaha. I'm laughing to myself..........
It starts to get muffled, and you get a bit confused as to what to believe.
That is when I stand, with arms up, in total Surrender.
For me, the flow of what happens naturally, usually gives me the grand gifts that would never usually happen if I had mapped things out myself. It is truly like going on a treasure hunt, blindfolded.
You start feeling around, but can't really guess where this is taking you, but along the way, you find that it is exciting, and funny, and yes, scary as shit, because, after all, WHERE THE HECK AM I GOING AND TOO....................HELLO??? WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY???
Why am I on this road? If I stop asking questions, and just go along for the ride, I see that it is actually fun, and the things that I have so many opinions about, wind up becoming diamonds in the rough, and slowly but surely, you let go enough to feel, and experience the gems of living in the moment,and letting life happen, and being OK with it. It then, surprisingly enough, becomes so intoxicating, if you stay in that reality, and see it for the grandeur that it is.
I truly could write volumes about this.
My life for the last few years has been nothing other than shedding what I think is right, or should happen, and allowing room for the surprises, and the things that actually, are what I have asked for, only masked a bit different.
It is up to me to see how it just looks a bit different, but really, is the same thing I have asked for, maybe a year ago, or two years ago, or, even yesterday.
Hay, I believe that we always get what we concentrate on, so when I do look at my life, and see just what I attract, I can't sit there and go............I wonder why this is happening??
Things never just happen, and then we look at them and go, "Oops, or Gee, why is this happening?" No, it doesn't work that way, that is if you can be responsible enough to look a bit deeper, to see what you have done to create the scenario at hand.
That is a hard knock, and too, a good one. It teaches you so much about yourself, and you can cop to things that you don't otherwise have to tell someone, if you are too embarrassed or shy to admit, along your journey of discovery, to the self.
You will learn things about yourself that will blow your mind, yet, if you give yourself enough breathing room, you will hopefully see why, and not judge yourself, but pat yourself on the back for sticking yourself out there. You obviously were asking to learn more of yourself, in one way or the other.
Whatever, don't dodge it, no matter how hairy it gets. Stick it out!!
If you seem to have a plan for yourself, and the Universe is handing you something different, especially if it is ongoing, and blatant, heed the "warning". You are probably in uncharted territory, for your growth, something you have specifically asked for, and simply, don't need to ask much more, just go along with it, and take every last drop of learning, of consciousness, of anything and everything that you can, at least to say, that you gave your everything to "the new", the "different" and to something that you probably DID ask for, even if you can't see it, but trust that it is there for a reason.
It becomes clear at some point, like I said, especially if the "Universe Insists", the same scenario over and over.
You may just want to go ahead and get your yellow notepad out, get a good pen, and start taking notes on your own life, and sit back, as if you were in school, and look at the pages, and see what it is that might be on your test in the next day or two.
There is only one difference.
In this classroom, there is NO FAILING.
You might have to come back to take that same test, over and over again, but the good thing is, you keep getting that test, and the "teacher" is nice enough to let you continue, until you ace it, and no "red marks" are left on your page.
Just be sure of one thing.
Don't put a time frame on it.
It takes some of us awhile to get it "exactly right".
Just NEVER, NEVER STOP STUDYING..............
At some point, you will see only a star at the top of your "page", marked EXCELLENT JOB.
And even then, NEVER STOP STUDYING!!
~
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