..........old people where Polyester!
Don't laugh!
Well........go ahead, you can. It's kinda funny, to read that as an opening line, and probably wonder where I'm going to go with that one.
Hay, I'm all about the full circle thing.
I do have a method to my madness!
I was walking my dogs, as that is a luxury these days, and was so darn excited to be outside, in nature, with the ones that make my life most happy. That is no lie. With any given choice, they take the cake!
They are innocent, make me laugh so hard out loud, and bring me straight to the place that I adore, which is innocence. Innocence of the raw being.
It is child like. It is raw and unfiltered.
It is life, blown up, in all of it's colors, and shapes, looking so beautiful, so untainted, and full of laughter, fun [;p''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''( sorry, my cat wants to be a part of my emailing tonight...... another gem of innocence.
How can we really take anything seriously when things like this happen? I mean, really!
I look at my cat right now and think, this is the best thing that has happened to me all day!
I need real! I need Innocence! I need Old School, where we can freely talk about being excited about popcorn at the movies, or why we feel great wearing our flannel pajamas with a shirt that doesn't even match, and fuzzy, comfortable socks that wouldn't match anything you would ever buy in a lifetime, but man, YOU ARE COMFORTABLE, and you are walking around your house with a huge question mark as far as your appearance, and just laughing....... I LOVE THAT!!
One of my secret things that I love, (after tonight, it won't be secret), is that in my alone time, I unveil.
I am kind of everything that no one else sees.
I think there are many sides to all of us, and one solid side of me, is that, I want to JUST BE.
However that shows up.
Maybe I AM THE OLD PERSON IN POLYESTER, who feels comfortable, at that age, and doesn't really give a rats ashtray as to what they look like, so long as they are comfortable in their skin, and in their environment.
Way long ago, I would have said, "They are just old", but now, I look at it, as smart, and objective, and just plain old people who want to feel comfortable walking around.
Kudos for my old peeps.
I always have and always will think that old people and kids have the most intelligence! There is a deep intelligence that comes with those two titles, unbeknownst to them, or hay, maybe they do know, and I am the kindergartner?!
I never underestimate anyone!!
Kids teach me, adults teach me, everyone, really........... teaches me........... !
Why shouldn't some one like me feel comfortable in flannel and be accepted? Why do certain girls have to wear certain things to be "Attractive?"
Why do old people get thrashed?
So, the seem to their pants in the back go off to the side a little.......... do you know how many people make fun of that? I did with my grandmother.
I used to say, "GRAM, PLEASE PULL YOUR PANTS TO THE MIDDLE", and she'd laugh at me, like, Why care?
I'd tug it back to the middle, and somehow that made me feel better. I'm sure in her head it was like, "Whatever makes you feel good honey". She'd let me do it, and we'd laugh.
Can we truly transport ourselves to their existence, and feel what they are feeling, at that age and time frame, and still make the same judgement?
Can we actually be objective enough to at least see, that we are in a different time and space, and we really don't get where they are, or are we just going to say, "Look how messed up they look in that outfit!" I don't, but see others and hear their opinions and wow, I think I did that at age.........hmmm, not sure it was so long ago.
You will understand that "outfit" in time, and kick yourself in the butt for slaughtering some old couple for what you see, as "their digs".
It WILL BE your digs, at some point and time.
Go out on a limb!
Do you really want to be wearing those tight jeans? Tight shirts?
I know it looks cool, but what do you feel inside?
Maybe you feel like wearing a white T-Shirt and jeans? Is that comfortable for you?
Just what IS comfortable for you?
Not, IN STYLE, but comfortable!
Can you stand in the line of scrutiny and stand by your own feeling of what feels right and good for you, venture out for the day, and be OK with all of the opinions?
I challenge you on that one.
It is an ever growing experience, into our own true selves, to stick to what is right for us, and us only, and not care a hoot about others opinions.
Maybe they should make that a course you take in college, or maybe even get a degree on.
Staying True to Who You Are!
Wadya think?
I like all of the sides that I can play, and want to feel comfortable in whatever it is that I choose, whether it be jeans and boots, girlie clothes, boy clothes, or some other something that I may conjure up, just because I feel like it. Who knows if it is IN, OR IN STYLE. I'm so behind the times............ I just know what I like.
Feel good in what you like!
Who cares what anyone else says.
The most beautiful thing is...............YOU...................and your clothing has nothing to do with who you are, how sexy you are, or not, or what type of people you need to be hanging around, dependant on what clothes your "vessel".
Stay fluid in your vessel!
Have fun with whatever garb is in your dressing room, in this gigantic play that we are in............
There are many plays to be had.
Keep it fun.
With all of my lighthearted love and laughter,
G
Saturday, October 31, 2009
Thursday, October 29, 2009
YO YO
Simmer down, it 's not what you think. I'm not going to break out in some new rap song for my blog, nor am I going to spout off something that emulates Tony Soprano. I have enough of that in my world.
OK, the other day, it was the man at the fish counter, with enlightening news for me. Today, it was the man at the post office.
I actually love going to this post office. The two guys who run the joint, are funny as hell. They have skits that they do for all of us who think going to the post office is the last thing we feel like doing, but well, we have to do it right? They are so cool! The do skits, make faces, make fun of you, in fun, of course, make noises, and just are cool cats. They can take me out of my worst mood, if I'm in one,that is.
Today, I went in with the attitude I'm sure everyone does. We enter with the immediate thought that it WILL BE A LONG LINE, and that we will have to bare down and ............wait...........actually wait.
C'mon, I sit in my car for 30 seconds saying, " Well, it could be 30 minutes. Check to see if I have my phone, god forbid I get stranded at the Post Office, in the dead of October, on a 76 degree day on a Thursday...........hhhmmm! Reading material........mail to catch up on............ sounds like 5 minutes on the toilet, if you ask me........... (my sister will hate me for that).............Oh, c'mon.....who DOESN'T READ on the toilet......... don't lie!
Anyway, I get up to the counter and Tony says to this woman, "That will be 30 dollars", very seriously. The woman let out a shriek, and he calmly stood there waiting for a response. She said, "What?". He said, "yes ma'am, 30 dollars". She started to argue the point and then he said, "I'M JUST JOSHIN YOU MA'AM, IT IS JUST 3 DOLLARS". Then he shook her hand and waved it all around and made a few more jokes. Then he said................"YO YO................YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS?"
Frankly, I think the woman wasn't really ready for another joke, but I was...........I could care less about my mail that was taking the other guy 20 minutes to get. I was wondering where my popcorn was, after all, it was the middle of the afternoon, and it was matinee time.
Again, he said, "Do you know what YO YO IS?"
The woman said, "NO SIR, I DON'T!"
And Tony said, "Well, ma'am, it means, YOU'RE ON YOUR OWN".
"Never forget that", he said. You are always on your own. No matter how you look at it!
She looked at him and said, "Uhh, OK", and left.
Me? I stood there, and thought to myself, "Holy Ship on the Horizon!" Are my ears just peeled, or am I fine tuned to the things I need to be hearing? WOA.............A HUGE WOA!!
That is some significant stuff!
Like a mentor said to me at one point, and seemed to reiterate it throughout the years, is "YOU HAVE COME HERE ALONE, AND YOU WILL LEAVE ALONE."
That, to me, is not a depressing statement, but a real one, with value, and one to abide by, to keep it all real.
I made some sort of natural noise, or some shriek out of a WOA............that was pretty freakin amazing............. I looked around to see if anyone really got it............. no, not really!
I looked at Tony and winked. I said, "good one", and he just looked back at me and winked. I winked back, and it was understood, the intelligence, the basic Truth.
THOSE ARE ANGELIC MOMENTS. THOSE ARE SPIRITS IN DISGUISE. CALL IT WHAT YOU WANT.
That is why I always want to do everything I can to stay awake, not sleepy, not drudging around because I ate too much cake or sweets............. or whatever keeps us from being spot on to Truth.
On top of it, to hear the subtle voices that say very significant things that will rock your world.
That seemed to have rocked my world today, and I was so happy when I left the post office, even with 4 envelopes that I knew were bills. I shrugged it off, and thought about the YO YO for the next hour, and knew, I'd be at my computer writing about the masked intelligence at the Post Office.
Thank God, for Grace.
I'm on your skirt tail, whether you like it or not.
A Nat, I will be, forever.
Thank you for all of the people who never get credit for who they are.
I pay attention to all of you.............and you give me life, more than you ever will know.
All of my gratitude and heart felt love,
for The Grace of Love, and what it shows us, if I am awake, and listening to the beautiful subtleties of Life, and all that it has to offer me.
Devoted beyond measure,
Gabriela
OK, the other day, it was the man at the fish counter, with enlightening news for me. Today, it was the man at the post office.
I actually love going to this post office. The two guys who run the joint, are funny as hell. They have skits that they do for all of us who think going to the post office is the last thing we feel like doing, but well, we have to do it right? They are so cool! The do skits, make faces, make fun of you, in fun, of course, make noises, and just are cool cats. They can take me out of my worst mood, if I'm in one,that is.
Today, I went in with the attitude I'm sure everyone does. We enter with the immediate thought that it WILL BE A LONG LINE, and that we will have to bare down and ............wait...........actually wait.
C'mon, I sit in my car for 30 seconds saying, " Well, it could be 30 minutes. Check to see if I have my phone, god forbid I get stranded at the Post Office, in the dead of October, on a 76 degree day on a Thursday...........hhhmmm! Reading material........mail to catch up on............ sounds like 5 minutes on the toilet, if you ask me........... (my sister will hate me for that).............Oh, c'mon.....who DOESN'T READ on the toilet......... don't lie!
Anyway, I get up to the counter and Tony says to this woman, "That will be 30 dollars", very seriously. The woman let out a shriek, and he calmly stood there waiting for a response. She said, "What?". He said, "yes ma'am, 30 dollars". She started to argue the point and then he said, "I'M JUST JOSHIN YOU MA'AM, IT IS JUST 3 DOLLARS". Then he shook her hand and waved it all around and made a few more jokes. Then he said................"YO YO................YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS?"
Frankly, I think the woman wasn't really ready for another joke, but I was...........I could care less about my mail that was taking the other guy 20 minutes to get. I was wondering where my popcorn was, after all, it was the middle of the afternoon, and it was matinee time.
Again, he said, "Do you know what YO YO IS?"
The woman said, "NO SIR, I DON'T!"
And Tony said, "Well, ma'am, it means, YOU'RE ON YOUR OWN".
"Never forget that", he said. You are always on your own. No matter how you look at it!
She looked at him and said, "Uhh, OK", and left.
Me? I stood there, and thought to myself, "Holy Ship on the Horizon!" Are my ears just peeled, or am I fine tuned to the things I need to be hearing? WOA.............A HUGE WOA!!
That is some significant stuff!
Like a mentor said to me at one point, and seemed to reiterate it throughout the years, is "YOU HAVE COME HERE ALONE, AND YOU WILL LEAVE ALONE."
That, to me, is not a depressing statement, but a real one, with value, and one to abide by, to keep it all real.
I made some sort of natural noise, or some shriek out of a WOA............that was pretty freakin amazing............. I looked around to see if anyone really got it............. no, not really!
I looked at Tony and winked. I said, "good one", and he just looked back at me and winked. I winked back, and it was understood, the intelligence, the basic Truth.
THOSE ARE ANGELIC MOMENTS. THOSE ARE SPIRITS IN DISGUISE. CALL IT WHAT YOU WANT.
That is why I always want to do everything I can to stay awake, not sleepy, not drudging around because I ate too much cake or sweets............. or whatever keeps us from being spot on to Truth.
On top of it, to hear the subtle voices that say very significant things that will rock your world.
That seemed to have rocked my world today, and I was so happy when I left the post office, even with 4 envelopes that I knew were bills. I shrugged it off, and thought about the YO YO for the next hour, and knew, I'd be at my computer writing about the masked intelligence at the Post Office.
Thank God, for Grace.
I'm on your skirt tail, whether you like it or not.
A Nat, I will be, forever.
Thank you for all of the people who never get credit for who they are.
I pay attention to all of you.............and you give me life, more than you ever will know.
All of my gratitude and heart felt love,
for The Grace of Love, and what it shows us, if I am awake, and listening to the beautiful subtleties of Life, and all that it has to offer me.
Devoted beyond measure,
Gabriela
Wednesday, October 28, 2009
BEING SILLY
If anyone knows me, they know that I can be the silliest thing on earth. Always cracking jokes, making faces, trying to box anyone in sight, poking at you for fun, messing up your hair, giving you noogies, dancing around you, just being a goof ball.
Honestly, if I didn't have that in my life.......... I would say, "Where is the razor?"
It is of utmost importance to me, that I laugh, joke around and make light of life, even in the midst of craziness.
Really, though, why wouldn't we? If we can somehow get objective enough to allow some good ol' laughter in, make a joke or two, and conjure up some goofy looking face, than what is it all about anyway? Being serious because THIS IS WORK, or THIS IS NOT MEANT TO BE FUNNY........ or YOUR LIFE RIGHT NOW IS CHAOTIC, YOU BETTER GET SERIOUS.........NO LAUGHING NOW...........
Whatever........ yes it is!
And, If I am not laughing, than you might as well pull me aside and tickle me to death.
I'm not talking about really serious situations, like death or trauma, but life situations that you can't really change, and if you have to go through the process anyway, you might as well do it by cracking yourself or someone else up. Right? Have a ball!
I goof around at work so much, sing, dance, make faces, all kinds of things......... with my fellow workers, and anyone, really, who is around, that it makes it all that much easier, and fun, to make a very long day, light, and fun, and worth all the hours you put in.
If I had the mind set that I was at a job, doing paper work, inventory, delegating, counting bottles of wine, or whatever the case may be, I'd go nuts, wondering what the hell I was doing there!
There has to be an element of you involved, to make your learning process worthwhile. Kind of like in school when you would be yawning, and there you were, reaching into your pocket for some gum or something that you weren't supposed to have, or staring at your friend from across the room, making faces during a history lesson.
SOMETHING........SOMETHING .............. to break up the monotony. Oh , and here comes the history teacher, ready to reprimand me, but, the risk was worth it. It broke up the boredom, or the long hours of listening to George Washington and his Trek, or how the wars were back in the day. (gun in right pocket..........pull trigger when ready)
I am learning tons of new things. Some things aren't so easy, they stretch me a bit, and some things I can put on a bandanna, and skate through it like it was there from birth.
None of this means I don't like certain things. It may just be that I have preferences, and the new things that come my way are a bit challenging, and can be deemed a huge pain in the ass, yet, when I come home, and think about things, I think, "Wow, well, maybe that wasn't so bad, and maybe this is a stepping stone for something else bigger". Who knows.
All I know is, is that whatever is happening in my life, I need to keep my crazy sense of humor, share it, and remember the divine joke in all of this.
We truly are, on borrowed time. I believe that! I have a ton of "serious" things going on, but if I don't separate myself from it, in a healthy and conducive way, I will buy into some belief that THIS IS ALL THERE IS, AND THIS IS WHAT LIFE IS ABOUT!
I know that not to be true.
I will support myself with my own beliefs, and share them with you in case they make any sense to you.
If you use it, great, we will be on the same raft, out there in the big blue ocean of love.
Just remind me, if I think I cannot float..........there is always............always...........a tube nearby, to throw out and relax upon.
Trust me, I'll do the same!
FYI.........I do like those floats that have the cup holders on the side...........you know, for a beer, or a Margarita............might as well float comfortably..................hahaha.
Love you all,
and am smiling big,
for no darn reason at all!
Kudos for me!
How bout you?
~
Honestly, if I didn't have that in my life.......... I would say, "Where is the razor?"
It is of utmost importance to me, that I laugh, joke around and make light of life, even in the midst of craziness.
Really, though, why wouldn't we? If we can somehow get objective enough to allow some good ol' laughter in, make a joke or two, and conjure up some goofy looking face, than what is it all about anyway? Being serious because THIS IS WORK, or THIS IS NOT MEANT TO BE FUNNY........ or YOUR LIFE RIGHT NOW IS CHAOTIC, YOU BETTER GET SERIOUS.........NO LAUGHING NOW...........
Whatever........ yes it is!
And, If I am not laughing, than you might as well pull me aside and tickle me to death.
I'm not talking about really serious situations, like death or trauma, but life situations that you can't really change, and if you have to go through the process anyway, you might as well do it by cracking yourself or someone else up. Right? Have a ball!
I goof around at work so much, sing, dance, make faces, all kinds of things......... with my fellow workers, and anyone, really, who is around, that it makes it all that much easier, and fun, to make a very long day, light, and fun, and worth all the hours you put in.
If I had the mind set that I was at a job, doing paper work, inventory, delegating, counting bottles of wine, or whatever the case may be, I'd go nuts, wondering what the hell I was doing there!
There has to be an element of you involved, to make your learning process worthwhile. Kind of like in school when you would be yawning, and there you were, reaching into your pocket for some gum or something that you weren't supposed to have, or staring at your friend from across the room, making faces during a history lesson.
SOMETHING........SOMETHING .............. to break up the monotony. Oh , and here comes the history teacher, ready to reprimand me, but, the risk was worth it. It broke up the boredom, or the long hours of listening to George Washington and his Trek, or how the wars were back in the day. (gun in right pocket..........pull trigger when ready)
I am learning tons of new things. Some things aren't so easy, they stretch me a bit, and some things I can put on a bandanna, and skate through it like it was there from birth.
None of this means I don't like certain things. It may just be that I have preferences, and the new things that come my way are a bit challenging, and can be deemed a huge pain in the ass, yet, when I come home, and think about things, I think, "Wow, well, maybe that wasn't so bad, and maybe this is a stepping stone for something else bigger". Who knows.
All I know is, is that whatever is happening in my life, I need to keep my crazy sense of humor, share it, and remember the divine joke in all of this.
We truly are, on borrowed time. I believe that! I have a ton of "serious" things going on, but if I don't separate myself from it, in a healthy and conducive way, I will buy into some belief that THIS IS ALL THERE IS, AND THIS IS WHAT LIFE IS ABOUT!
I know that not to be true.
I will support myself with my own beliefs, and share them with you in case they make any sense to you.
If you use it, great, we will be on the same raft, out there in the big blue ocean of love.
Just remind me, if I think I cannot float..........there is always............always...........a tube nearby, to throw out and relax upon.
Trust me, I'll do the same!
FYI.........I do like those floats that have the cup holders on the side...........you know, for a beer, or a Margarita............might as well float comfortably..................hahaha.
Love you all,
and am smiling big,
for no darn reason at all!
Kudos for me!
How bout you?
~
Tuesday, October 27, 2009
WHEN YOU VISUALIZE......
............What you want........and you see yourself in the perfect scenario, and then, you look at your life now, do you wonder what it is that you are doing wrong, what you are NOT doing to get to that place, are you ungrateful for what is in front of you, not enjoying the moment, thinking the grass is greener? What is it?
There are so many thought patterns, ways of making things happen by NOT DOING, and then by DOING, that at some point, I just start batting my eyes as if I want to gel with one of those things, and just do it, or BE IT, or call it all in, whatever you want to deem it.
The psychology gets intense, and somewhere in there, I'm just like, ERASE ALL THOUGHTS, and live in the moment, with no thought, which, of course, goes against, making things happen.
After awhile you start to feel a paralysis.
Which way do I go George? Which way do I go?
Pretty much, when I go there, to that train of thought, I do find it best to just immerse myself in the moment, and life unfolds, and you find yourself with situations and scenarios that support you, and what you are asking for.
As to how it will equate in your everyday life, and in any kind of order, is another story, and truthfully, if you get a tad bit of what you are asking for, and then the mystery kicks in, and you seem blinded by how your life will go, at least you were given the bare bones, a piece to the puzzle.
It may just seem boring if it weren't this way.
I don't know. I've been on this ride again, and again, and again, and every time the unknown, or the mystery of life presents itself, I get mesmerized, infatuated, and too, bothered by it's intricacies.
I don't read a ton of fiction, so I guess this will suffice for the nights that should be in bed, reading a good novel, cozied up with a blanket, and losing yourself in someone else's drama, or mystical life, that needs some answering to.
I don't want to be weighted down with the should's and shouldn'ts, where I need to be, or where I don't need to be.
I just want to BE!
I think if I stay there, then life will surely undress itself, and show it's passion to me, in a myriad of ways.
I always visualize. My same visions of the things I love are still the same, give or take a goat or two, a few more trees, and less mortgage......
I am so ready to get crazy passionate about what I want, how to make that happen, and to risk my crazy life, my "ordinary life" for something that will seem ludicrous to many, but sexy, simple and satiating to me.
Sexy? In that sentence? YES!
Sexy to me, is not the proverbial "sexy".
It is living so passionately, so purely, in whatever it is that you are dreamy about, and making love to that as if it were the most sexy partner you've ever had...........and more!
OK, I'll stop there. My own desires excite the hell outa me!
It's such a feel good, body sensation.
I think I will go to bed with that.
VISUALIZE WHAT YOU LOVE, and make that your ultimate love making.
How much better can it get when you are getting exactly what you want, formed from your brain, and you have the option of editing it at any time.
(not that you don't have that opportunity now, with everything), I just used one example.
Go to town..............PAINT IT RED............AND MAKE IT A HOT RED!!
( I've always wanted my room painted a dark, Renaissance........ee red............. I have the rod iron, the gates, and.....even the suit of armor guy with the sword, life size, in my room, staring me in the face every night.
There are too many stories to tell on that one, but they are awesome, too prolific for this simple blog. I'd have to think about that one and devote one perfect blog to IT.
It's a great night, to cram in expression of the soul, and head to bed, knowing I emptied my cup, just a bit, a tiny little bit, only to fill it up in the coming days, when people will be people, customers will be customers, and teachers, as they all are, will teach me the very basics of life, that somehow, I just haven't learned to master yet.
Everyone is my teacher.
P.S. My fish guy in the fish department revealed a great statement to me, in all of my hurriedness, stumbling in there, after a 12 hour day.
We talked for awhile, and he said to me, "Analysis, is a Paralysis".
I wanted to kick him and kiss him at the same time.
He made a very interesting evening ahead for me.
Think about it!
It makes perfect sense.
What else makes sense is me telling you all how much I care about you, and that you are, and have been, my source of strength throughout some very hard core times.
Thank you for listening to my crazy stories, thoughts about life, and just me, unabashed, being me..............
How cool to have an arena for that!
Completely grateful, as always.
Gabriela
There are so many thought patterns, ways of making things happen by NOT DOING, and then by DOING, that at some point, I just start batting my eyes as if I want to gel with one of those things, and just do it, or BE IT, or call it all in, whatever you want to deem it.
The psychology gets intense, and somewhere in there, I'm just like, ERASE ALL THOUGHTS, and live in the moment, with no thought, which, of course, goes against, making things happen.
After awhile you start to feel a paralysis.
Which way do I go George? Which way do I go?
Pretty much, when I go there, to that train of thought, I do find it best to just immerse myself in the moment, and life unfolds, and you find yourself with situations and scenarios that support you, and what you are asking for.
As to how it will equate in your everyday life, and in any kind of order, is another story, and truthfully, if you get a tad bit of what you are asking for, and then the mystery kicks in, and you seem blinded by how your life will go, at least you were given the bare bones, a piece to the puzzle.
It may just seem boring if it weren't this way.
I don't know. I've been on this ride again, and again, and again, and every time the unknown, or the mystery of life presents itself, I get mesmerized, infatuated, and too, bothered by it's intricacies.
I don't read a ton of fiction, so I guess this will suffice for the nights that should be in bed, reading a good novel, cozied up with a blanket, and losing yourself in someone else's drama, or mystical life, that needs some answering to.
I don't want to be weighted down with the should's and shouldn'ts, where I need to be, or where I don't need to be.
I just want to BE!
I think if I stay there, then life will surely undress itself, and show it's passion to me, in a myriad of ways.
I always visualize. My same visions of the things I love are still the same, give or take a goat or two, a few more trees, and less mortgage......
I am so ready to get crazy passionate about what I want, how to make that happen, and to risk my crazy life, my "ordinary life" for something that will seem ludicrous to many, but sexy, simple and satiating to me.
Sexy? In that sentence? YES!
Sexy to me, is not the proverbial "sexy".
It is living so passionately, so purely, in whatever it is that you are dreamy about, and making love to that as if it were the most sexy partner you've ever had...........and more!
OK, I'll stop there. My own desires excite the hell outa me!
It's such a feel good, body sensation.
I think I will go to bed with that.
VISUALIZE WHAT YOU LOVE, and make that your ultimate love making.
How much better can it get when you are getting exactly what you want, formed from your brain, and you have the option of editing it at any time.
(not that you don't have that opportunity now, with everything), I just used one example.
Go to town..............PAINT IT RED............AND MAKE IT A HOT RED!!
( I've always wanted my room painted a dark, Renaissance........ee red............. I have the rod iron, the gates, and.....even the suit of armor guy with the sword, life size, in my room, staring me in the face every night.
There are too many stories to tell on that one, but they are awesome, too prolific for this simple blog. I'd have to think about that one and devote one perfect blog to IT.
It's a great night, to cram in expression of the soul, and head to bed, knowing I emptied my cup, just a bit, a tiny little bit, only to fill it up in the coming days, when people will be people, customers will be customers, and teachers, as they all are, will teach me the very basics of life, that somehow, I just haven't learned to master yet.
Everyone is my teacher.
P.S. My fish guy in the fish department revealed a great statement to me, in all of my hurriedness, stumbling in there, after a 12 hour day.
We talked for awhile, and he said to me, "Analysis, is a Paralysis".
I wanted to kick him and kiss him at the same time.
He made a very interesting evening ahead for me.
Think about it!
It makes perfect sense.
What else makes sense is me telling you all how much I care about you, and that you are, and have been, my source of strength throughout some very hard core times.
Thank you for listening to my crazy stories, thoughts about life, and just me, unabashed, being me..............
How cool to have an arena for that!
Completely grateful, as always.
Gabriela
Monday, October 26, 2009
SOMETIMES I THINK.........
That we don't give as much credence to TRUST AND FAITH as we should.
To me, it has proved it's valiance over and over and over again, so why, at times, I question, or try to come up with a different formula, is beyond me.
It's kinda like cooking the same thing that people love, and because it may seem trite, or boring, you start to cook something different, when you know damn well that your original recipe worked. You are the one who wanted to try something different, but everyone is looking at you like, "Hay, where is the original recipe that was so right on, so good?"
When something is right, don't try to change it up. I mean, Why?
If it works, just remember that key element that made it work, whether it be flour, or trust, or a sprinkle of this, or a sprinkle of that. It all boils down to a formula.
The formula that has always worked for me, without any thought, is to just trust in the very exact moment, that all is so perfectly orchestrated for my evolution, for my learning, and to learn from it, even if it seems messed up, or not right, or unfair. It is blatant and in my face for a reason. I can't, from my soul, my ever knowing soul, negate that. It just takes a lot to bare down and accept the challenge, and to breathe deep to go for the long, and windy road of uncertainty.
Me and uncertainty have had a long lasting love affair. It's been rocky............. It has been a love / "hate" relationship, but in the end, it always seems to win my heart over, and I always seem to put my head between my legs, very humble, and wind up saying a very silent thank you, for all that it winds up teaching me. Bitter sweet, love hate...........whatever............. IT IS MY TEACHER!
I try to look at things in hind site, and learn from past experience. It takes some diligence and hard work to stay privy to a consciousness that always serves me well. It doesn't mean, though, that just because it serves me well, that I will like the ride. Hind site is a beautiful and razor sharp gift. Unequivocally, it is meant for clarity and application!
I literally just got blown away on that last sentence and feel it necessary to stop right there. I will go to bed with that knowledge.
Not my knowledge, of course, but the source of infinite love, that courses through these veins, trying to wake me up, to my own self, to make the path a tad bit lighter, and a bit more enjoyable, in the awakening of a Truth, that is so far beyond circumstance.
I'm in way over my own head, and am loving it. I'm going to bed with The Source........really ............the only thing worth taking to bed these days, and waking up feeling good about it!! Wink, wink!!
It's a good night to rest in awareness.
I'll meet you there!
Goodnight.
Gabriela
Can we actually be THAT objective?
To me, it has proved it's valiance over and over and over again, so why, at times, I question, or try to come up with a different formula, is beyond me.
It's kinda like cooking the same thing that people love, and because it may seem trite, or boring, you start to cook something different, when you know damn well that your original recipe worked. You are the one who wanted to try something different, but everyone is looking at you like, "Hay, where is the original recipe that was so right on, so good?"
When something is right, don't try to change it up. I mean, Why?
If it works, just remember that key element that made it work, whether it be flour, or trust, or a sprinkle of this, or a sprinkle of that. It all boils down to a formula.
The formula that has always worked for me, without any thought, is to just trust in the very exact moment, that all is so perfectly orchestrated for my evolution, for my learning, and to learn from it, even if it seems messed up, or not right, or unfair. It is blatant and in my face for a reason. I can't, from my soul, my ever knowing soul, negate that. It just takes a lot to bare down and accept the challenge, and to breathe deep to go for the long, and windy road of uncertainty.
Me and uncertainty have had a long lasting love affair. It's been rocky............. It has been a love / "hate" relationship, but in the end, it always seems to win my heart over, and I always seem to put my head between my legs, very humble, and wind up saying a very silent thank you, for all that it winds up teaching me. Bitter sweet, love hate...........whatever............. IT IS MY TEACHER!
I try to look at things in hind site, and learn from past experience. It takes some diligence and hard work to stay privy to a consciousness that always serves me well. It doesn't mean, though, that just because it serves me well, that I will like the ride. Hind site is a beautiful and razor sharp gift. Unequivocally, it is meant for clarity and application!
I literally just got blown away on that last sentence and feel it necessary to stop right there. I will go to bed with that knowledge.
Not my knowledge, of course, but the source of infinite love, that courses through these veins, trying to wake me up, to my own self, to make the path a tad bit lighter, and a bit more enjoyable, in the awakening of a Truth, that is so far beyond circumstance.
I'm in way over my own head, and am loving it. I'm going to bed with The Source........really ............the only thing worth taking to bed these days, and waking up feeling good about it!! Wink, wink!!
It's a good night to rest in awareness.
I'll meet you there!
Goodnight.
Gabriela
Can we actually be THAT objective?
WHO REALLY KNOWS?
If we are honest, and we look at our lives closely, we would almost have to say, WHO REALLY KNOWS WHAT IS GOING TO HAPPEN NEXT?
We can be the best planners, and that I am good at, but once I got the wink from up above that planning is for kindergartners, I started looking at things a bit different, and started looking at life for what it is RIGHT NOW, as apposed to 10 minutes from now, or even 1. I have had enough experience to know that I would be the fool, to transport myself to another moment, when I know darn well that there are so many gems, so much gold, in the very moment, this very precise moment that is soooooooooooooooooo chock full of goodies.
Not a good outlook for productive oriented people, (like myself). Therein lies the homework!
How many people respond to .........."Hay, can you do me a favor and stay in the moment, and I will get back to ya in a few?"
They'll look at you like you are an alien from hell!
Now, say, hay, "What is it that you would like to do in the next year?"
That may be different.......but, the moment? Not such good luck!
Go ahead........go figure!
Not so easy!
I think it is OK to have an idea of what you want, and to plan, but don't forget to plan for the flat tire, or the mishap that will surely trip you up, and then you will go ahead and act all surprised that THIS THING happened, and oh, god, what shall I do!? Trust me, I have been there a million and one times over and over.
One moment, to one moment. Stay so full in the moment that nothing will surprise you.
I'm not saying you won't react to it, but at least you won't be clueless.
What a wild time in my evolution!
So much is happening on so many different levels.
Can't wait to get back to talkin with a good friend, who is great for ping pong of the mind.
WE DON'T KNOW WHAT IS GOING TO HAPPEN, SO LET GO OF THE MOMENT, BE FREE IN IT, AND ALLOW LIFE TO PRESENT SOMETHING COOL FOR THE FOLLOWING MOMENTS.
I'm on that same page.
(Mine might be a tad bit hairier than yours).
Who cares.
We're in, right?
Touche'.
Gabriela
We can be the best planners, and that I am good at, but once I got the wink from up above that planning is for kindergartners, I started looking at things a bit different, and started looking at life for what it is RIGHT NOW, as apposed to 10 minutes from now, or even 1. I have had enough experience to know that I would be the fool, to transport myself to another moment, when I know darn well that there are so many gems, so much gold, in the very moment, this very precise moment that is soooooooooooooooooo chock full of goodies.
Not a good outlook for productive oriented people, (like myself). Therein lies the homework!
How many people respond to .........."Hay, can you do me a favor and stay in the moment, and I will get back to ya in a few?"
They'll look at you like you are an alien from hell!
Now, say, hay, "What is it that you would like to do in the next year?"
That may be different.......but, the moment? Not such good luck!
Go ahead........go figure!
Not so easy!
I think it is OK to have an idea of what you want, and to plan, but don't forget to plan for the flat tire, or the mishap that will surely trip you up, and then you will go ahead and act all surprised that THIS THING happened, and oh, god, what shall I do!? Trust me, I have been there a million and one times over and over.
One moment, to one moment. Stay so full in the moment that nothing will surprise you.
I'm not saying you won't react to it, but at least you won't be clueless.
What a wild time in my evolution!
So much is happening on so many different levels.
Can't wait to get back to talkin with a good friend, who is great for ping pong of the mind.
WE DON'T KNOW WHAT IS GOING TO HAPPEN, SO LET GO OF THE MOMENT, BE FREE IN IT, AND ALLOW LIFE TO PRESENT SOMETHING COOL FOR THE FOLLOWING MOMENTS.
I'm on that same page.
(Mine might be a tad bit hairier than yours).
Who cares.
We're in, right?
Touche'.
Gabriela
Friday, October 23, 2009
MANY STORIES
Hay everyone!
I feel like I haven't expressed myself in so long, at least like I usually do.
Work has kept most of my attention, with little or no time at all, to write, or to do many things that I love.
It is a period of time that is very specific, for many reasons, personal, and work related.
Yes, there are many, stories to tell, yet, what time is there to tell them?
I am just going with the flow of things, and that, in and of itself, tells me so many stories.
How do we NOT plan, and stay so present to what is being put in front of us, without freaking out, or having some sort of idea of how it should all play out?
Shoot, if that were the case, I'd be committing hairy cairy by now. No, seriously!!
At some point I think we are all tested to some degree, to see what we are made of, and it sort of steers you, all by itself, in the direction that you need to go next.
There isn't much for you to do, just be yourself, and the moments will guide you to what is right for you, and what you need to learn, even if you don't see it.
That is what is happening for me!
My life is just one big .................WOW................. for many reasons!
My job gives me so many opportunities to grow, to learn, to accept, to look at myself, how I can be more responsible for my part, with co- workers, oh god, all sorts of stuff. Therein, lye the stories that are deep, introspective, and make you realize, just why you are there to begin with.
Not just with work, but everywhere I traipse.
It can be bothersome, and too, hairy.
I dream of the time I can give you, to sit, at this computer, to write all of my thoughts, my observations and to let the beautiful train of thought take on it's own life, and make it work for something great.
I feel as if I am in kindergarten, in many respects.
Life is such a learning ground!
Everywhere I look, there is a teaching, and as long as I don't get pummeled over by what THAT reality is, I can pretty much relax in the knowing that, hay, this is my life! I ask for answers, for guidance, and to work through things, so why wouldn't things get hairy every once in a while?
I'm grateful for all situations, and that statement even blows me away, considering my life at hand.
Thank you for all of you who help me grow, in nice ways, and not so nice ways.
You help me to grow, to teach myself new ways of relating, and to just let go of certain ways of thinking that really, just don't work for me anymore!
I have stories..............many, many...stories!!
Thank you for always taking the time to listen.
I love you guys so much!!
Love,
Gabriela
I feel like I haven't expressed myself in so long, at least like I usually do.
Work has kept most of my attention, with little or no time at all, to write, or to do many things that I love.
It is a period of time that is very specific, for many reasons, personal, and work related.
Yes, there are many, stories to tell, yet, what time is there to tell them?
I am just going with the flow of things, and that, in and of itself, tells me so many stories.
How do we NOT plan, and stay so present to what is being put in front of us, without freaking out, or having some sort of idea of how it should all play out?
Shoot, if that were the case, I'd be committing hairy cairy by now. No, seriously!!
At some point I think we are all tested to some degree, to see what we are made of, and it sort of steers you, all by itself, in the direction that you need to go next.
There isn't much for you to do, just be yourself, and the moments will guide you to what is right for you, and what you need to learn, even if you don't see it.
That is what is happening for me!
My life is just one big .................WOW................. for many reasons!
My job gives me so many opportunities to grow, to learn, to accept, to look at myself, how I can be more responsible for my part, with co- workers, oh god, all sorts of stuff. Therein, lye the stories that are deep, introspective, and make you realize, just why you are there to begin with.
Not just with work, but everywhere I traipse.
It can be bothersome, and too, hairy.
I dream of the time I can give you, to sit, at this computer, to write all of my thoughts, my observations and to let the beautiful train of thought take on it's own life, and make it work for something great.
I feel as if I am in kindergarten, in many respects.
Life is such a learning ground!
Everywhere I look, there is a teaching, and as long as I don't get pummeled over by what THAT reality is, I can pretty much relax in the knowing that, hay, this is my life! I ask for answers, for guidance, and to work through things, so why wouldn't things get hairy every once in a while?
I'm grateful for all situations, and that statement even blows me away, considering my life at hand.
Thank you for all of you who help me grow, in nice ways, and not so nice ways.
You help me to grow, to teach myself new ways of relating, and to just let go of certain ways of thinking that really, just don't work for me anymore!
I have stories..............many, many...stories!!
Thank you for always taking the time to listen.
I love you guys so much!!
Love,
Gabriela
Wednesday, October 21, 2009
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
OK, so I was at work all day, and of course, my inner world beckons me all day, while I'm in the midst of doing all that is supposed to be done.
Where am I? What should I be doing? Am I doing the right thing?
Constantly processing the whole trek, at least me, anyway. My inner trek follows me, no matter where I am.
There isn't any moment, really, that I don't sit back and not think about where I am, how I can change things, or do something different to make my life easier, or to make it more conducive to who I am, and to truthfully live, as if I had everything that I have always wanted, in all sincerity, not from any kind of greed or frivolous want.
Well, throw water on my face, and wake me the hell up!
I can dream and fantasize all I want, but the reality is, is that, life throws you curve balls, and you either go with it, try to fix it, or try to rise above it. (and when I say that, it is not meant for you to forget the process of healing those things), to me, it simply means, to live, learn, and move on, in a conscious way. To take certain steps forward into a new reality, one that actually works for you.
As I was leaving work tonight, I started to gather my things. I always want to gather my little belongings, since the little that I bring in, seems to go from office to cafe, real easy.
I might as well put a number on my things, so that when I am ready to go, someone can call my number, or find it on a table and hand me all of my goods, so then, I can go in peace.
Tonight I just grabbed my things, grabbed my umbrella, and headed out.
I made my way home.
Ahhh, the comforts of being home.
I started to unpack my bags, and no sooner, did I dig into my purse, did I find two empty gelato cups. Inside of them were multiple notes, maybe 7, 8, or even 9, notes.
I picked them up thinking, "What receipts did I need to keep, or did I actually write THAT MANY NOTES TO MYSELF?"
It is quite possible!
I never want to leave a thought behind, without recognizing it in it's full potential.
I took out the papers, and on each of them it said, "HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA".
Then I pulled out the gelato cups.
I immediately thought of the person who was working in that area tonight. We have a sweet connection, but, really, that is not the reason for this blog.
The beauty of it is, that, when I had picked that out of my purse, it was THE MOST INNOCENT, MOST AMAZING, TICKLING, REMINDER of what life is like.
I had already started, or should I say, I was continuing to think about my situation, where I am, and what I am trying to accomplish on a daily basis to try to change things up a bit.
I literally pulled them out of my "suitcase", and read them as if it were the last words I'd ever have to hear.
Those words were..............HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
They were on several pages ripped off from the print machine near the computer.
I looked at each one as if I thought the next print out would be different, but, it wasn't!!!
All it said was, HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHA, ON EACH AND EVERY SINGLE PRINT OUT.
Mind you, I am getting this out of my purse after a 12 hour day.......... with tons and tons of time to think.........
The moment I read them, I thought of one, maybe two people, at the most.
After I thought of who it probably would be, I smiled so big..........and thought, WOW.......THEY DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT THEY JUST TRIGGERED.
It was the epitome of innocence.
Did they know what they were doing, actually? No, they were trying to be funny, which they are, in general, anyway. Work ethic, is another story, but sweet, and acknowledging the heart is another. It either works for you or not.
No matter, when I got home, and after thinking a bit too much, I pulled them outa my purse, and thought of how INCREDIBLY PERFECT IT WAS, to pull 90 million sheets of paper out of my purse that says, hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha.
Is God really THAT clever, as to put huge road signs in the middle of your trek, so that we get where to go next?
I laughed, and then, truly, I cried!
I took every note and placed it in all of the places that I look at or are in for a certain amount of time, to look at it, acknowledge it for the brilliance that it is, and make it my way of life, from here on out.
This person will never know the magnitude of gratitude, that I felt, and am, feeling, for their innocence, and for their reminder of how life is not to be taken so seriously, and that it REALLY IS............ALL FUNNY..................... JUST KEEP LAUGHING AT WHAT IS THERE IN FRONT OF YOU, and then, of course, take care of it in a responsible way.
If we don't laugh at all of these things, we will surely crack, and start believing it all to be true.
I'm going with the HAHAHAHAHAHAH tonight.
It works, not only for today, but every day.
I want everyday to be a hahahahahha.
HELP ME........HELP YOU................ Watch Jerry Mcguire for that one..................
Keep laughing guys.....it really IS ........Probably all we have................
I'm learning, your learning, and we grow and learn together.
Stay with me.............. there is no losing here.
I love you!
Gabriela
Where am I? What should I be doing? Am I doing the right thing?
Constantly processing the whole trek, at least me, anyway. My inner trek follows me, no matter where I am.
There isn't any moment, really, that I don't sit back and not think about where I am, how I can change things, or do something different to make my life easier, or to make it more conducive to who I am, and to truthfully live, as if I had everything that I have always wanted, in all sincerity, not from any kind of greed or frivolous want.
Well, throw water on my face, and wake me the hell up!
I can dream and fantasize all I want, but the reality is, is that, life throws you curve balls, and you either go with it, try to fix it, or try to rise above it. (and when I say that, it is not meant for you to forget the process of healing those things), to me, it simply means, to live, learn, and move on, in a conscious way. To take certain steps forward into a new reality, one that actually works for you.
As I was leaving work tonight, I started to gather my things. I always want to gather my little belongings, since the little that I bring in, seems to go from office to cafe, real easy.
I might as well put a number on my things, so that when I am ready to go, someone can call my number, or find it on a table and hand me all of my goods, so then, I can go in peace.
Tonight I just grabbed my things, grabbed my umbrella, and headed out.
I made my way home.
Ahhh, the comforts of being home.
I started to unpack my bags, and no sooner, did I dig into my purse, did I find two empty gelato cups. Inside of them were multiple notes, maybe 7, 8, or even 9, notes.
I picked them up thinking, "What receipts did I need to keep, or did I actually write THAT MANY NOTES TO MYSELF?"
It is quite possible!
I never want to leave a thought behind, without recognizing it in it's full potential.
I took out the papers, and on each of them it said, "HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA".
Then I pulled out the gelato cups.
I immediately thought of the person who was working in that area tonight. We have a sweet connection, but, really, that is not the reason for this blog.
The beauty of it is, that, when I had picked that out of my purse, it was THE MOST INNOCENT, MOST AMAZING, TICKLING, REMINDER of what life is like.
I had already started, or should I say, I was continuing to think about my situation, where I am, and what I am trying to accomplish on a daily basis to try to change things up a bit.
I literally pulled them out of my "suitcase", and read them as if it were the last words I'd ever have to hear.
Those words were..............HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
They were on several pages ripped off from the print machine near the computer.
I looked at each one as if I thought the next print out would be different, but, it wasn't!!!
All it said was, HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHA, ON EACH AND EVERY SINGLE PRINT OUT.
Mind you, I am getting this out of my purse after a 12 hour day.......... with tons and tons of time to think.........
The moment I read them, I thought of one, maybe two people, at the most.
After I thought of who it probably would be, I smiled so big..........and thought, WOW.......THEY DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT THEY JUST TRIGGERED.
It was the epitome of innocence.
Did they know what they were doing, actually? No, they were trying to be funny, which they are, in general, anyway. Work ethic, is another story, but sweet, and acknowledging the heart is another. It either works for you or not.
No matter, when I got home, and after thinking a bit too much, I pulled them outa my purse, and thought of how INCREDIBLY PERFECT IT WAS, to pull 90 million sheets of paper out of my purse that says, hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha.
Is God really THAT clever, as to put huge road signs in the middle of your trek, so that we get where to go next?
I laughed, and then, truly, I cried!
I took every note and placed it in all of the places that I look at or are in for a certain amount of time, to look at it, acknowledge it for the brilliance that it is, and make it my way of life, from here on out.
This person will never know the magnitude of gratitude, that I felt, and am, feeling, for their innocence, and for their reminder of how life is not to be taken so seriously, and that it REALLY IS............ALL FUNNY..................... JUST KEEP LAUGHING AT WHAT IS THERE IN FRONT OF YOU, and then, of course, take care of it in a responsible way.
If we don't laugh at all of these things, we will surely crack, and start believing it all to be true.
I'm going with the HAHAHAHAHAHAH tonight.
It works, not only for today, but every day.
I want everyday to be a hahahahahha.
HELP ME........HELP YOU................ Watch Jerry Mcguire for that one..................
Keep laughing guys.....it really IS ........Probably all we have................
I'm learning, your learning, and we grow and learn together.
Stay with me.............. there is no losing here.
I love you!
Gabriela
Tuesday, October 20, 2009
WHAT WOULD HAPPEN IF...........
........you just threw caution to the wind............and did exactly what you wanted to do, without so much reservation.................you just actually..............did it!?
Cut the fear in half............. cut to the chase, and just jumped on it?
Scary isn't it?
But can you? Can I?
Why do we STOP?
How can we reassure ourselves enough, that everything will be OK, when no one around you thinks like that, or honors their self enough to take such risks?
Why does it have to be such a crap shoot?
So seemingly odd, and "off kilter?"
Check to see where you are stifling yourself, or maybe even doing things out of a necessity, but know, that if you really put balls to the walls, you could do, or be, or have ANYTHING THAT YOU REALLY WANTED.
Where is it that we get stuck?
Let's figure out how to get unstuck, and do the things that give us LIFE, not deplete us, of life.
I'm on the starting mark.
On your mark, get set.....................GO!
My hands are held out!
I love you all.
Gabriela
Cut the fear in half............. cut to the chase, and just jumped on it?
Scary isn't it?
But can you? Can I?
Why do we STOP?
How can we reassure ourselves enough, that everything will be OK, when no one around you thinks like that, or honors their self enough to take such risks?
Why does it have to be such a crap shoot?
So seemingly odd, and "off kilter?"
Check to see where you are stifling yourself, or maybe even doing things out of a necessity, but know, that if you really put balls to the walls, you could do, or be, or have ANYTHING THAT YOU REALLY WANTED.
Where is it that we get stuck?
Let's figure out how to get unstuck, and do the things that give us LIFE, not deplete us, of life.
I'm on the starting mark.
On your mark, get set.....................GO!
My hands are held out!
I love you all.
Gabriela
Monday, October 19, 2009
THERE ARE ALWAYS ALTERNATIVES
I have to always remind myself that there are always alternatives to any given situation. I think the true key is to have the drive, to move past your emotions, your situations, to get to something better, or higher, or just a simple resting ground that will suit your needs, better than what is in front of you.
It certainly takes creativity, being resourceful, and FAITH.
Faith that everything will always work out, and that when things seem bleak, God intervenes, and lifts you to a place that you couldn't see, no matter how well your head turned, or what corner you looked in.
The workings of LOVE are miraculous, and I think, as long as you stay believing in FAITH, you lose all ideas of how things might need to go, and it is replaced by the awesome workings of the Universe, of God, of whatever you deem your GREATEST SOURCE OF STRENGTH.
When things seem to be dark, or the lit corners seem sparse, know that there are ALWAYS ALTERNATIVES, as long as you are willing to go that extra mile to figure it out, to keep searching, and to not give up.
Life is funny.
Not ha ha funny, just interesting in all of it's complexities. I think it seems easier and more convenient to say that when that is happening to someone else, but does it seem that interesting when it is happening to us, as if we can have the same objectivity??
I am just being real. Life's events happen. We find ourselves in situations and we wonder how they heck we will get out of them, or if our life's patterns will change.
Is it that we are lacking intellectual knowledge of our own intricate workings? Is it that we get lazy? Is it that it is just too damn overwhelming to work on ourselves? Is it that we are just made up (some of us), of the complete desire to want to know, any and everything in this life, as if we are passionate to the bone, of the workings of life and all of it's intricacies and complexities?
Who knows?
I am THAT passionate, and will do whatever it takes to go the "alternative" route, to figure, to muster up, to mold my life with my beliefs, to try to make it gel and work in this society, and to fit somehow, in this thing we call the "norm".
I kick and scream, for the most part, and cannot even believe I am on the trail that I am.
Inside, I should be somewhere else, living a completely different life.
Go figure!
I haven figured God out yet.
Just know life is teaching me many, many things.............too much, all at once.
I guess not TOO much, otherwise it wouldn't be here............right?
I am going for the alternative, in all of it's scariness, in all of it's uncertainty.......... it seems more real to me than going the vanilla route.
That never worked for me at age 1...........nor does it work for me now.
I'm OK.
You're OK!
A book that sat on my mothers book shelf for years.
I was always plagued at that title, and now..........
well,
it just makes all the sense in the world!
We really are..........OK..............
no matter what.......
and I mean that........
NO MATTER WHAT!
Huge hugs!
Embrace yourself,
no matter where you are.
Don't judge,
just move,
flow,
with what is handed,
and use it as tools......
in your ever
evolving
toolbox........
~
It certainly takes creativity, being resourceful, and FAITH.
Faith that everything will always work out, and that when things seem bleak, God intervenes, and lifts you to a place that you couldn't see, no matter how well your head turned, or what corner you looked in.
The workings of LOVE are miraculous, and I think, as long as you stay believing in FAITH, you lose all ideas of how things might need to go, and it is replaced by the awesome workings of the Universe, of God, of whatever you deem your GREATEST SOURCE OF STRENGTH.
When things seem to be dark, or the lit corners seem sparse, know that there are ALWAYS ALTERNATIVES, as long as you are willing to go that extra mile to figure it out, to keep searching, and to not give up.
Life is funny.
Not ha ha funny, just interesting in all of it's complexities. I think it seems easier and more convenient to say that when that is happening to someone else, but does it seem that interesting when it is happening to us, as if we can have the same objectivity??
I am just being real. Life's events happen. We find ourselves in situations and we wonder how they heck we will get out of them, or if our life's patterns will change.
Is it that we are lacking intellectual knowledge of our own intricate workings? Is it that we get lazy? Is it that it is just too damn overwhelming to work on ourselves? Is it that we are just made up (some of us), of the complete desire to want to know, any and everything in this life, as if we are passionate to the bone, of the workings of life and all of it's intricacies and complexities?
Who knows?
I am THAT passionate, and will do whatever it takes to go the "alternative" route, to figure, to muster up, to mold my life with my beliefs, to try to make it gel and work in this society, and to fit somehow, in this thing we call the "norm".
I kick and scream, for the most part, and cannot even believe I am on the trail that I am.
Inside, I should be somewhere else, living a completely different life.
Go figure!
I haven figured God out yet.
Just know life is teaching me many, many things.............too much, all at once.
I guess not TOO much, otherwise it wouldn't be here............right?
I am going for the alternative, in all of it's scariness, in all of it's uncertainty.......... it seems more real to me than going the vanilla route.
That never worked for me at age 1...........nor does it work for me now.
I'm OK.
You're OK!
A book that sat on my mothers book shelf for years.
I was always plagued at that title, and now..........
well,
it just makes all the sense in the world!
We really are..........OK..............
no matter what.......
and I mean that........
NO MATTER WHAT!
Huge hugs!
Embrace yourself,
no matter where you are.
Don't judge,
just move,
flow,
with what is handed,
and use it as tools......
in your ever
evolving
toolbox........
~
Saturday, October 17, 2009
THOMAS ENGLISH MUFFINS AND MILK
(Oh, where is she going with this one?)
Easy, let me chat, since I do know that some of you read these long blogs, even when you complain how long they are. You STILL FRIGIN READ THEM! You must not be THAT bored!
Ok, so........
Why Thomas English Muffins and milk? That is the most bizarre title I've even read, and even if I was bored, just the title alone would make me curious, as to why in the heck someone would title their nightly blog .......THOMAS ENGLISH MUFFINS AND MILK.
OK, on with it. Now that I said all that, I might burst your bubble with my story!
It's funny, because I don't plan these blogs, by any means. I do my thing at night, and what I do know, is that I will sit in front of this computer, and allow whatever wants to come forth, come out, onto this page, and then it is not up to me after that. A life of it's own takes front seat.........shot gun!
OK, so the bread and milk..........
Every ones lives are different. We all grow up so differently, and I think we compare our lives to others, as I did as a child.
We, of course we grew up in a huge Italian family. Not a lot of money, but we had things, just nothing like the average. (don't shutter Janet). It's my blog, and I'll do what I want with it, do what I want with it...........haha( that is my sister) She hates when I do this kind of stuff. It's too "out there" and embarrassing for her. To me, it's just real, and you can relate to it or not, be that, or be someone different, but..........you cannot change your roots.
Me, I'm proud of my roots. Yes, it can be embarrassing, comparatively speaking, but it's real, awesome in so many ways, and just.......is what it is.
So, as for comparing, all of my friends were always rich. They always had the Mom, Dad, brother, sister, dog, gold fish, patten leather shoes for the new school year, new notebooks, pencils, tote bags and for sure, an apple with the sandwich and chips for brown bagged lunch.
Oh, did I forget the white picket fence?
OK, so you now you know, this is NOT HOW I GREW UP.
I'm laughing because I can hear my sister saying "OH MY GOD, SHE IS NOT TELLING THIS STORY TO A MILLION PEOPLE".
Well, yes dear, I am.
Hate me later.
We grew up very eclectic, how's that?
I had this friend, who I will call Sam.
Her Dad was a doctor, and the mother played tennis all day. They had a boy, a girl, a dog, a fish, a truck, a car, weekends off, family night, movie night, and in the mornings, before school, they all sat down, and ate breakfast together.
I went over to her house quite often.
I think I brought something real to their world, and they, unbeknownst to them, they brought something to my world.
At my house in the morning, it was mayhem! Complete Mayhem! ( Janet's laughing) or not.......
Janet was trying to get ready for work, and had to shuffle past the 4 of us, trying to share 1 bathroom. Yes, that would be 2 girls and 3 boys, all getting ready together. It was well worth it to do all that you had to do, the night before to spare yourself the agony of sharing a bathroom with 3 boys, with lots of hair, lots of testosterone, and trust me, men are much worse than women when it comes to time in the bathroom. Contrary to popular belief.
From that, would be the traipsing downstairs to the kitchen to find a brown bag on top of the dishwasher, full of what mom could put in there, or.............not!
My sister would be heating up her tea, more milk than tea, and eating a toasted peanut butter sandwich, on the run. Who knows what the boys ate, and ran, on their way to work or school......or NOT............
and me............. scurrying down as if I had no idea what was going on. I was just hoping to make the bus, and if not, I was subject to my step dad, griping to get out of bed, to take me to school, even more late now, that he was taking me.
Boxer shorts, t-shirt, and a cigarette in mouth is always good right? Hay, take me to school now? And, can you meet my friends while you're at it? NOT!
I would say, "Stop here, this is good", a mile away from school, so that they didn't see the car we drove up in.
OK, enough of that.
That was just to pre- empt you on going over to Sam's house, and feeling new things.
I'd go over some mornings to Sam's house. She lived pretty close. I'd dart out and try to head over so we could walk together, and talk about how I was going to make fun of her in catechism.
I'd go over to her house, and as soon as I would walk in the door, her mother would greet me, take my coat and tell me to come sit for breakfast with them.
I'd go in and like in the movies, I'd walk in, and the pot of coffee was brewing, 10 different kinds of sugar were displayed on the counter, skim milk, no other, and mugs that looked like Picasso had come in and painted them that morning. Corn flakes, a banana, THOMAS ENGLISH MUFFINS AND A COLD GLASS OF MILK, were arranged on the table like the Pope was coming.
We were handed pretty napkins, the symphony would be playing, and out the back window, you saw Fido playing with his bone, like a good dog does.
I remember sitting there, with the Doctor, the tennis playin' mother, Sam, and her brother, all eating English Muffins, with butter, marmalade, a glass of cold milk, and watching them eat so slowly, so politely, with nothing to say........... just ......politely eating their morning snack or whatever you want to call it.
No one said anything really, but a part of me liked it. Wow, no one is saying anything. How nice is that? No big mouths, no this or that, just people eating breakfast................oh, hay, and I did say BREAKFAST!
A well balanced breakfast. The symphony, the dog and his bone, a napkin on your lap........
Shoot, I thought I was in heaven! The perfect life, right? Who wouldn't want to wake up with that? I do that now, actually, and I love it.
But, as a kid, you think you died and went to heaven.
Is the grass always greener on the other side?
I just remember watching everyone, silently eating their English muffin, sipping their milk, and wiping their lip, and staring........ Wow, this is different! Everyone is in slow motion, nothing hurried, and everything seemed so cool, so together, and so what I wanted.
The grass is never really greener, no matter how you look at it.
Years after, I was able to pan back over that moment and time. The visual, and the feeling stuck with me.
I wasn't missing a thing!
The life that I had, separate from that, was in fact, amazing!!!
We were, and are, very real people, who have nothing to hide. We grew up a certain way, and to many, it would seem crazy, or dysfunctional, but when I look back, it was just what it was. Circumstantial, eclectic, and well, just real. Funny, now, actually! Back then, NOT!
We were odd man out!
I pan back and don't mind flying down the stairs hoping there was a bag on top of the dishwasher, with a mustard sandwich, and a napkin.
On good days we had lunch meat and cheese. An apple put us in the norm, for sure.
I won't go into lunches at school.............. my sis might have a voo doo doll next to her bed......I don't want to chance it!
Look, the way I see it is............ we all have roots. We all grew up a certain way. That doesn't mean we have to believe that THAT IS HOW WE HAVE TO LIVE, or that THAT IS WHO WE ARE!
Just because your friend has a dad that is a doctor, and a mom who plays tennis for a living, doesn't mean you are lower or a bad person. You don't need to change. That way is not necessarily the way, or better, for that matter.
Be fine with where you are, for the eclectic beauty that it is, and what it gives you.
Don't compare!
Grab your breakfast quickly, or sit and watch your dog. Who cares? Are you feeling good about you? Or do you feel like you have to keep up with the Joneses?
You are OK exactly where you are!!!
No situation is better than where you are!!
Where you are,
Is where you need to be!
Thank you!
I needed to hear that!
Wink Wink!!
~
Easy, let me chat, since I do know that some of you read these long blogs, even when you complain how long they are. You STILL FRIGIN READ THEM! You must not be THAT bored!
Ok, so........
Why Thomas English Muffins and milk? That is the most bizarre title I've even read, and even if I was bored, just the title alone would make me curious, as to why in the heck someone would title their nightly blog .......THOMAS ENGLISH MUFFINS AND MILK.
OK, on with it. Now that I said all that, I might burst your bubble with my story!
It's funny, because I don't plan these blogs, by any means. I do my thing at night, and what I do know, is that I will sit in front of this computer, and allow whatever wants to come forth, come out, onto this page, and then it is not up to me after that. A life of it's own takes front seat.........shot gun!
OK, so the bread and milk..........
Every ones lives are different. We all grow up so differently, and I think we compare our lives to others, as I did as a child.
We, of course we grew up in a huge Italian family. Not a lot of money, but we had things, just nothing like the average. (don't shutter Janet). It's my blog, and I'll do what I want with it, do what I want with it...........haha( that is my sister) She hates when I do this kind of stuff. It's too "out there" and embarrassing for her. To me, it's just real, and you can relate to it or not, be that, or be someone different, but..........you cannot change your roots.
Me, I'm proud of my roots. Yes, it can be embarrassing, comparatively speaking, but it's real, awesome in so many ways, and just.......is what it is.
So, as for comparing, all of my friends were always rich. They always had the Mom, Dad, brother, sister, dog, gold fish, patten leather shoes for the new school year, new notebooks, pencils, tote bags and for sure, an apple with the sandwich and chips for brown bagged lunch.
Oh, did I forget the white picket fence?
OK, so you now you know, this is NOT HOW I GREW UP.
I'm laughing because I can hear my sister saying "OH MY GOD, SHE IS NOT TELLING THIS STORY TO A MILLION PEOPLE".
Well, yes dear, I am.
Hate me later.
We grew up very eclectic, how's that?
I had this friend, who I will call Sam.
Her Dad was a doctor, and the mother played tennis all day. They had a boy, a girl, a dog, a fish, a truck, a car, weekends off, family night, movie night, and in the mornings, before school, they all sat down, and ate breakfast together.
I went over to her house quite often.
I think I brought something real to their world, and they, unbeknownst to them, they brought something to my world.
At my house in the morning, it was mayhem! Complete Mayhem! ( Janet's laughing) or not.......
Janet was trying to get ready for work, and had to shuffle past the 4 of us, trying to share 1 bathroom. Yes, that would be 2 girls and 3 boys, all getting ready together. It was well worth it to do all that you had to do, the night before to spare yourself the agony of sharing a bathroom with 3 boys, with lots of hair, lots of testosterone, and trust me, men are much worse than women when it comes to time in the bathroom. Contrary to popular belief.
From that, would be the traipsing downstairs to the kitchen to find a brown bag on top of the dishwasher, full of what mom could put in there, or.............not!
My sister would be heating up her tea, more milk than tea, and eating a toasted peanut butter sandwich, on the run. Who knows what the boys ate, and ran, on their way to work or school......or NOT............
and me............. scurrying down as if I had no idea what was going on. I was just hoping to make the bus, and if not, I was subject to my step dad, griping to get out of bed, to take me to school, even more late now, that he was taking me.
Boxer shorts, t-shirt, and a cigarette in mouth is always good right? Hay, take me to school now? And, can you meet my friends while you're at it? NOT!
I would say, "Stop here, this is good", a mile away from school, so that they didn't see the car we drove up in.
OK, enough of that.
That was just to pre- empt you on going over to Sam's house, and feeling new things.
I'd go over some mornings to Sam's house. She lived pretty close. I'd dart out and try to head over so we could walk together, and talk about how I was going to make fun of her in catechism.
I'd go over to her house, and as soon as I would walk in the door, her mother would greet me, take my coat and tell me to come sit for breakfast with them.
I'd go in and like in the movies, I'd walk in, and the pot of coffee was brewing, 10 different kinds of sugar were displayed on the counter, skim milk, no other, and mugs that looked like Picasso had come in and painted them that morning. Corn flakes, a banana, THOMAS ENGLISH MUFFINS AND A COLD GLASS OF MILK, were arranged on the table like the Pope was coming.
We were handed pretty napkins, the symphony would be playing, and out the back window, you saw Fido playing with his bone, like a good dog does.
I remember sitting there, with the Doctor, the tennis playin' mother, Sam, and her brother, all eating English Muffins, with butter, marmalade, a glass of cold milk, and watching them eat so slowly, so politely, with nothing to say........... just ......politely eating their morning snack or whatever you want to call it.
No one said anything really, but a part of me liked it. Wow, no one is saying anything. How nice is that? No big mouths, no this or that, just people eating breakfast................oh, hay, and I did say BREAKFAST!
A well balanced breakfast. The symphony, the dog and his bone, a napkin on your lap........
Shoot, I thought I was in heaven! The perfect life, right? Who wouldn't want to wake up with that? I do that now, actually, and I love it.
But, as a kid, you think you died and went to heaven.
Is the grass always greener on the other side?
I just remember watching everyone, silently eating their English muffin, sipping their milk, and wiping their lip, and staring........ Wow, this is different! Everyone is in slow motion, nothing hurried, and everything seemed so cool, so together, and so what I wanted.
The grass is never really greener, no matter how you look at it.
Years after, I was able to pan back over that moment and time. The visual, and the feeling stuck with me.
I wasn't missing a thing!
The life that I had, separate from that, was in fact, amazing!!!
We were, and are, very real people, who have nothing to hide. We grew up a certain way, and to many, it would seem crazy, or dysfunctional, but when I look back, it was just what it was. Circumstantial, eclectic, and well, just real. Funny, now, actually! Back then, NOT!
We were odd man out!
I pan back and don't mind flying down the stairs hoping there was a bag on top of the dishwasher, with a mustard sandwich, and a napkin.
On good days we had lunch meat and cheese. An apple put us in the norm, for sure.
I won't go into lunches at school.............. my sis might have a voo doo doll next to her bed......I don't want to chance it!
Look, the way I see it is............ we all have roots. We all grew up a certain way. That doesn't mean we have to believe that THAT IS HOW WE HAVE TO LIVE, or that THAT IS WHO WE ARE!
Just because your friend has a dad that is a doctor, and a mom who plays tennis for a living, doesn't mean you are lower or a bad person. You don't need to change. That way is not necessarily the way, or better, for that matter.
Be fine with where you are, for the eclectic beauty that it is, and what it gives you.
Don't compare!
Grab your breakfast quickly, or sit and watch your dog. Who cares? Are you feeling good about you? Or do you feel like you have to keep up with the Joneses?
You are OK exactly where you are!!!
No situation is better than where you are!!
Where you are,
Is where you need to be!
Thank you!
I needed to hear that!
Wink Wink!!
~
Friday, October 16, 2009
Thursday, October 15, 2009
USING YOUR ALONE TIME WISELY
Some people just can't fathom being alone for an extended amount of time. They think that it is boring, they feel alone, and wonder why in the hell ANYONE would want to choose to be alone for more than a short period of time.
I think it is almost pertinent that we all get a good gap of time to spend with ourselves, to get to know ourselves out of the typical relationship, or being social 24/7 and to just check it all out, to see what we are like in those moments where you're just biting your nails, to go out, to do something, be with someone, have sex, get crazy, or do whatever your mind wants to busy yourself with.
Those are some awesome times, really! You get to see a side of you that only comes out every blue moon, when a situation is forced upon you, to be alone.
Maybe you will busy it up with stuff, maybe you will choose to watch TV, or to just not care, or want to think about it.
Maybe you will want to think about it, and it will be a stairway into learning how not to be co-dependant on a person, or a thing, outside of yourself. Maybe you just need to get to know who you are, and you will like it, and be able to spend quality time with your favorite someone, but not want their attention as much as you used to, because you have your own juicy filling inside, that feels more like a complimentary dish, rather than the main course, that you are relying upon to fill you up.
Alone time is awesome. And, time spent with your favorite person is also, incredible.
It takes finagling, and an art, to be able to love you, your alone time, and too, to also, embrace someone who you adore, yet, keep you, close by, with enough gumption to say no, when you really want to say yes, to always hanging out, or doing something with that person all the time.
To try to find a balance within all of that, and not just with a person, but with work, computer, and just keeping busy in general. You need to find alone time for you, that is conducive to your soul.
That's it! I'm not going to beat a simple horse to death.
There it is, in writing.
Find a balance with you, inside, and with the outside, that so beckons our attention, like a needy child grabbing a hold of your skirt.
Tell the kid no already.............. you have stuff to do!
Yes, he'll kick and scream, but will get over it in time.
That is what you need to tell your head when it says, "but, I have to do this, and you have to spend time over here, and accomodating this person, and that person".
No, get off of my skirt, and go play in traffic........... haha , sorry, had to do it!
You get what I'm saying.
Don't feel selfish!
It IS all about you, SOMETIMES, and don't feel guilty for one second.
GO FOR IT!
I am!
Maybe a little too much!
;)
Enjoy your time,
with you,
Gnite'
Gabriela
I think it is almost pertinent that we all get a good gap of time to spend with ourselves, to get to know ourselves out of the typical relationship, or being social 24/7 and to just check it all out, to see what we are like in those moments where you're just biting your nails, to go out, to do something, be with someone, have sex, get crazy, or do whatever your mind wants to busy yourself with.
Those are some awesome times, really! You get to see a side of you that only comes out every blue moon, when a situation is forced upon you, to be alone.
Maybe you will busy it up with stuff, maybe you will choose to watch TV, or to just not care, or want to think about it.
Maybe you will want to think about it, and it will be a stairway into learning how not to be co-dependant on a person, or a thing, outside of yourself. Maybe you just need to get to know who you are, and you will like it, and be able to spend quality time with your favorite someone, but not want their attention as much as you used to, because you have your own juicy filling inside, that feels more like a complimentary dish, rather than the main course, that you are relying upon to fill you up.
Alone time is awesome. And, time spent with your favorite person is also, incredible.
It takes finagling, and an art, to be able to love you, your alone time, and too, to also, embrace someone who you adore, yet, keep you, close by, with enough gumption to say no, when you really want to say yes, to always hanging out, or doing something with that person all the time.
To try to find a balance within all of that, and not just with a person, but with work, computer, and just keeping busy in general. You need to find alone time for you, that is conducive to your soul.
That's it! I'm not going to beat a simple horse to death.
There it is, in writing.
Find a balance with you, inside, and with the outside, that so beckons our attention, like a needy child grabbing a hold of your skirt.
Tell the kid no already.............. you have stuff to do!
Yes, he'll kick and scream, but will get over it in time.
That is what you need to tell your head when it says, "but, I have to do this, and you have to spend time over here, and accomodating this person, and that person".
No, get off of my skirt, and go play in traffic........... haha , sorry, had to do it!
You get what I'm saying.
Don't feel selfish!
It IS all about you, SOMETIMES, and don't feel guilty for one second.
GO FOR IT!
I am!
Maybe a little too much!
;)
Enjoy your time,
with you,
Gnite'
Gabriela
Wednesday, October 14, 2009
HAVING AN OUTLET
I think it is so important to have some sort of outlet.
Something, or someone, so that we are able to "be", or to be heard, objectively, so we can look at our lives in a way that doesn't get clouded by anything.
No matter who it is, you will know, in your heart, if it is objective, or not. Fair, or not. A listening ear, or not.
The something? Well..... I don' t know what that would be for you, but some outlets for me have been boxing, working out, or maybe just dancing in my own time, to good music, singing, and allowing myself to just "be".
What is your outlet?
A lot of times, my outlet is waking up, and before even brushing my teeth, I go over to the glass doors, open them up and just look out. I smell the morning air, check out all of the trees, the sky, the smell, and just stand there, in a state of awe.
It really doesn't matter what the day is like. Shoot, the rain, in the morning, for me, has been so utterly exquisite, that I never want to leave my bedroom.
The rain hits the water, it hits the trees, and the sound of it on the roof top sends me to a place that is so familiar, I just can't put a name to it, nor do I really want to.
There are so many different outlets. I have several, and in my "spare" time, I go IN man...........I go IN for the kill.............. NO PHONES, NO COMPUTER, NO RADIO, NO TV......... Just......... me!
Imagine that? Just me, and nothing else? God, how that sings to me like nothing other!
No voices! No sound! No nuthin............. just the sound of.................NOTHING!
THAT.........IS.............MY........OUTLET!
I walked to my mailbox yesterday, and I was with one of my dogs. He was sniffing around, very intently, and all of a sudden, a little Fawn trampled by...... and I stood still in my tracks. I told Bello to shuuussshhh........... he stood next to me. I knelt down next to him and witnessed the most amazing thing.
Maybe nothing to you.
We knelt there, and the Fawn walked over, and ate some grass, but grew closer to us.
She or he, looked up, and stared me close in the eye for a very, very long period of time, without flinching.
There was an eye contact that I crave!
Bello kept quiet.
I was quiet.
The Fawn,
Quiet.
We shared those moments of quietude
and with a focus that went beyond me.
The Fawn walked away.
Bello went to sniff the trail.
I stayed there in complete, and utter...........AWE!
I didn't know what to think.
It was an experience beyond translation.
I got it. He or she, got it!
No words!
Inner communion!
THAT, is an outlet for me!
Something real like that, something that gets me thinking!
Something that gets me catapulted back to the most raw and real place.
I know what my outlets are.
How about you?
Name them!
Visit them!
And keep it alive, and real,
because,
to be honest,
If you don't get it now,
time will surely slip by,
and the time you THINK
you had
will be gone
or
taken up
by some moment
that told you
how important it was
when
really
you
or
what was happening
to you
in the moment
was really what was
most important.
~
Something, or someone, so that we are able to "be", or to be heard, objectively, so we can look at our lives in a way that doesn't get clouded by anything.
No matter who it is, you will know, in your heart, if it is objective, or not. Fair, or not. A listening ear, or not.
The something? Well..... I don' t know what that would be for you, but some outlets for me have been boxing, working out, or maybe just dancing in my own time, to good music, singing, and allowing myself to just "be".
What is your outlet?
A lot of times, my outlet is waking up, and before even brushing my teeth, I go over to the glass doors, open them up and just look out. I smell the morning air, check out all of the trees, the sky, the smell, and just stand there, in a state of awe.
It really doesn't matter what the day is like. Shoot, the rain, in the morning, for me, has been so utterly exquisite, that I never want to leave my bedroom.
The rain hits the water, it hits the trees, and the sound of it on the roof top sends me to a place that is so familiar, I just can't put a name to it, nor do I really want to.
There are so many different outlets. I have several, and in my "spare" time, I go IN man...........I go IN for the kill.............. NO PHONES, NO COMPUTER, NO RADIO, NO TV......... Just......... me!
Imagine that? Just me, and nothing else? God, how that sings to me like nothing other!
No voices! No sound! No nuthin............. just the sound of.................NOTHING!
THAT.........IS.............MY........OUTLET!
I walked to my mailbox yesterday, and I was with one of my dogs. He was sniffing around, very intently, and all of a sudden, a little Fawn trampled by...... and I stood still in my tracks. I told Bello to shuuussshhh........... he stood next to me. I knelt down next to him and witnessed the most amazing thing.
Maybe nothing to you.
We knelt there, and the Fawn walked over, and ate some grass, but grew closer to us.
She or he, looked up, and stared me close in the eye for a very, very long period of time, without flinching.
There was an eye contact that I crave!
Bello kept quiet.
I was quiet.
The Fawn,
Quiet.
We shared those moments of quietude
and with a focus that went beyond me.
The Fawn walked away.
Bello went to sniff the trail.
I stayed there in complete, and utter...........AWE!
I didn't know what to think.
It was an experience beyond translation.
I got it. He or she, got it!
No words!
Inner communion!
THAT, is an outlet for me!
Something real like that, something that gets me thinking!
Something that gets me catapulted back to the most raw and real place.
I know what my outlets are.
How about you?
Name them!
Visit them!
And keep it alive, and real,
because,
to be honest,
If you don't get it now,
time will surely slip by,
and the time you THINK
you had
will be gone
or
taken up
by some moment
that told you
how important it was
when
really
you
or
what was happening
to you
in the moment
was really what was
most important.
~
IF I ONLY HAD..............
........if I only could............if I only made............. if I just had.................. when I finally get to.............. when I get over this...............
WHEN........WHEN...........WHEN............ whenever we want anything else to happen, other than what is being presented in the present moment, THIS VERY PRECISE MOMENT, then, are we actually going to believe that we will truly be happier? REALLY, WILL IT MAKE YOU THAT MUCH HAPPIER?
Well, to be honest, I know from being on both sides of the spectrum that the present moment is unbelievably, pain staking, revealing, and too, miraculous in a myriad of ways, and then, too, I will have to say, that when I made lots of money, or had nice vehicles, or didn't have to worry about the things I worry about now, it DID make a difference, but that is one side of the coin. To me, to be able to live free of financial worry is a big deal, so yes, when I was comfortable and making a great living, doing anything I wanted, buying anything I wanted no matter the cost, going to exquisite dinners, shows, traveling............yes.......... I felt great, and it was incredible. Not to say, "Hay, I make this much," but to just be at ease without worrying how I will pay this or do this, or get here, or get there.
The other side is.........was I humble enough to actually enjoy what it was that I had? Did I make the efforts to be so simple as to NOT WANT ANYTHING OTHER, than what was in my life, no matter what it was, or was I trying to always buy this or buy that, have the next best thing, order up at the next best restaurant.......... all of those things are awesome, but man, I will have to say, that this time in my life, when things may seem NOT THE WAY I WANT THEM, I think I will look back, when things will eventually change, and say, "Man, how bout that time when I didn't have this, or didn't have that?" I actually had to ask people things, when, (if anyone knows me well, they know I hate to ask anyone anything), to actually do things for me. That is probably the toughest thing I'll ever have to do. Really! For me to ask you to take me somewhere, or just simple things that most people wouldn't balk over..........I'm a mess about. I am appreciating life at it's most simple level, and there are great Truths to this existence! Ones that I'm not sure I want to live without.
For some reason it is embarrassing, and what I have learned over the years, especially when I was layed up and couldn't get out of bed for several months, is that we want to control everything. God forbid if we are out of control in some way, at the mercy of others.
To me, it is death of sorts, and yet, when I was layed up, and people had to come over to cook for me, bathe me, dress me, do my laundry, clean my house, you name it...........it was the WORST TIME FOR ME, and yet, in retrospect, it was THE MOST AMAZING TIME OF MY LIFE.
I could write for hours on the whys and hows.............it truly transported me to another time and place, where simplicity and gratitude were in the forefront and conveniences, and desires took a backseat, for the first time in my life.
Do I actually want to be out of control and in that situation again? No! I have to say that I am glad that I have both spectrum's to look at side by side, to evaluate what it is that I see in myself, from both ends, and say............hhhmmm, what did I learn from being on this end, and then, on that end.
I want to be able to gain a gift, from both ends and then somewhere along the line, embrace the two, and then maybe there will be some communion with those aspects so I won't forget to be grateful when I'm buying that BMW that I want........or the cool boots that are beckoning me from the window.
That key word.........BALANCE! It's showing up now and again..........and that's just on paper, on this blog. Then if you crawl in my head all day, you'll hear it saying.................. balaaaaaaaaaaaaaaannnnnnnnccceee yourself...................... balanceeeeeeee yourself........
Hay, if you can't learn from the past, where you have been and what is in front of you now, than why even think............. just move about like a digital robot and forge forward in life, with no direction................
I know for myself, I'm done with being programmed.
I signed up for the UN PROGRAMMED class. It wasn't very full, but that's because it is a new class, not that many people know about it.
It'll catch on, hopefully!
I want to live my life free of worry, and that means, in the midst of ANYTHING.
If I am at my worst of worst, I want to wake up free of worry, and smiling, seeing that the day is actually a beautiful one............ where the clouds are staring me in the face......... the sunrise is impeccable..........the sunset that I love, is even more amazing than yesterdays...........the little flowers along my walks............the animals, the trees............... there will never be a dollar sign next to those things..............
REJOICE!
I'm not saying we won't get stressed along the way, but at least we have a guide post.......at least this is MY guidepost.............you can share mine if you want.............. there is room...........
I don't WANT to WANT.............. without getting the point of where I am NOW!
It's OK if that doesn't make sense to you.
I want to take every moment.....relish in it, whether it is simple, or complex........and use it to my advantage...............then if I am granted a wish or two, I'll know how to truly appreciate it, from a very real place.
What's that word again?
Oh, yea.......BALANCE!
Sounds good to me...........
Lemme know what ya think...........
Tons of love,
as always,
Gabriela
WHEN........WHEN...........WHEN............ whenever we want anything else to happen, other than what is being presented in the present moment, THIS VERY PRECISE MOMENT, then, are we actually going to believe that we will truly be happier? REALLY, WILL IT MAKE YOU THAT MUCH HAPPIER?
Well, to be honest, I know from being on both sides of the spectrum that the present moment is unbelievably, pain staking, revealing, and too, miraculous in a myriad of ways, and then, too, I will have to say, that when I made lots of money, or had nice vehicles, or didn't have to worry about the things I worry about now, it DID make a difference, but that is one side of the coin. To me, to be able to live free of financial worry is a big deal, so yes, when I was comfortable and making a great living, doing anything I wanted, buying anything I wanted no matter the cost, going to exquisite dinners, shows, traveling............yes.......... I felt great, and it was incredible. Not to say, "Hay, I make this much," but to just be at ease without worrying how I will pay this or do this, or get here, or get there.
The other side is.........was I humble enough to actually enjoy what it was that I had? Did I make the efforts to be so simple as to NOT WANT ANYTHING OTHER, than what was in my life, no matter what it was, or was I trying to always buy this or buy that, have the next best thing, order up at the next best restaurant.......... all of those things are awesome, but man, I will have to say, that this time in my life, when things may seem NOT THE WAY I WANT THEM, I think I will look back, when things will eventually change, and say, "Man, how bout that time when I didn't have this, or didn't have that?" I actually had to ask people things, when, (if anyone knows me well, they know I hate to ask anyone anything), to actually do things for me. That is probably the toughest thing I'll ever have to do. Really! For me to ask you to take me somewhere, or just simple things that most people wouldn't balk over..........I'm a mess about. I am appreciating life at it's most simple level, and there are great Truths to this existence! Ones that I'm not sure I want to live without.
For some reason it is embarrassing, and what I have learned over the years, especially when I was layed up and couldn't get out of bed for several months, is that we want to control everything. God forbid if we are out of control in some way, at the mercy of others.
To me, it is death of sorts, and yet, when I was layed up, and people had to come over to cook for me, bathe me, dress me, do my laundry, clean my house, you name it...........it was the WORST TIME FOR ME, and yet, in retrospect, it was THE MOST AMAZING TIME OF MY LIFE.
I could write for hours on the whys and hows.............it truly transported me to another time and place, where simplicity and gratitude were in the forefront and conveniences, and desires took a backseat, for the first time in my life.
Do I actually want to be out of control and in that situation again? No! I have to say that I am glad that I have both spectrum's to look at side by side, to evaluate what it is that I see in myself, from both ends, and say............hhhmmm, what did I learn from being on this end, and then, on that end.
I want to be able to gain a gift, from both ends and then somewhere along the line, embrace the two, and then maybe there will be some communion with those aspects so I won't forget to be grateful when I'm buying that BMW that I want........or the cool boots that are beckoning me from the window.
That key word.........BALANCE! It's showing up now and again..........and that's just on paper, on this blog. Then if you crawl in my head all day, you'll hear it saying.................. balaaaaaaaaaaaaaaannnnnnnnccceee yourself...................... balanceeeeeeee yourself........
Hay, if you can't learn from the past, where you have been and what is in front of you now, than why even think............. just move about like a digital robot and forge forward in life, with no direction................
I know for myself, I'm done with being programmed.
I signed up for the UN PROGRAMMED class. It wasn't very full, but that's because it is a new class, not that many people know about it.
It'll catch on, hopefully!
I want to live my life free of worry, and that means, in the midst of ANYTHING.
If I am at my worst of worst, I want to wake up free of worry, and smiling, seeing that the day is actually a beautiful one............ where the clouds are staring me in the face......... the sunrise is impeccable..........the sunset that I love, is even more amazing than yesterdays...........the little flowers along my walks............the animals, the trees............... there will never be a dollar sign next to those things..............
REJOICE!
I'm not saying we won't get stressed along the way, but at least we have a guide post.......at least this is MY guidepost.............you can share mine if you want.............. there is room...........
I don't WANT to WANT.............. without getting the point of where I am NOW!
It's OK if that doesn't make sense to you.
I want to take every moment.....relish in it, whether it is simple, or complex........and use it to my advantage...............then if I am granted a wish or two, I'll know how to truly appreciate it, from a very real place.
What's that word again?
Oh, yea.......BALANCE!
Sounds good to me...........
Lemme know what ya think...........
Tons of love,
as always,
Gabriela
Monday, October 12, 2009
NATURAL ENERGY
I notice a lot that if you stay focused in the moment, there is an endless amount of energy that happens. You see what is in front of you, what needs to happen, and you just move.
Granted, there, looming in the back of your head are all of the things that you "should" be thinking of, or worrying about, but the moment is too full for you to even pay any attention to the voices. Yes, the nagging voices that tell you, you are doomed, or you are late, yet, again, with a payment, or you forgot your dry cleaning, or damn, my car needs to be washed........ whatever it is....... it is irrelevant to the present moment that you are cleaning, or stocking cookies, or cutting cakes, or whatever it is that you may be doing.
Energy in the present moment will take you to places that people only dream of. Without worrying about your life, a birth happens.
I'm not saying that me, or anyone else, is not going to worry about things, because it WILL happen, but the percentages are either getting higher or lower, no matter your circumstance.
Mine are getting lower, as I learn to take the Universe a bit more seriously, about how life should not be taken.......so seriously. I mean, what really IS THE WORST CASE SCENARIO?
Name it!
And what is the worst case scenario there?
And so what IF that really did happen? What then?
Once you hit a certain point, you really do see, that somehow, a Source intervenes, and takes your hand.
I'm not saying, sit back and relax and wait for some God to hand you dollars, cars, or even homes.
You gotta get out there.
Use that natural energy that sustains us when we have no idea how we are even operating. You somehow feel a different frequency happening, and soon, you just look and go......"I'm not questioning a damn thing, I'm just going to continue moving....".
That is natural energy. One that even YOU cannot explain, but it feels right, although everything around you seems uncertain, crazy, and just plain ol' unfathomable.
It reminds me of when I would run everyday. I used to run marathons. The first two miles were a bit exhausting, or should I say, just trying. After my second mile, really, down to the last second, to the T, at 2 miles, something would kick in, and I was in automatic drive. My stride was even keeled, my breath was in sync, and from there, I was gone! No more person trying to run, or make a certain time, just legs moving, breath flowing, and a consciousness that superseded any idea I ever had of running, or what should or should not happen with that kind of sport.
I remember one day in New Mexico, I headed out, and it was a Sunday, my long run day. Sundays were 14 miles. I used to wake up stoked to head out, to just disappear into the beauty of nature. I remember being in my 7th mile and some kind of huge energy completely took over my body, and I was flying. My pace was abnormally fast, my eyes widened with a focus that even I questioned, and there I was, in a state that now, I couldn't relate to, only in memory.
It was the most exquisite time, the most memorable "run", that took me to a place that kept me in awe for years.
I guess they call it the zone. Deem it whatever, but it was right on. Natural energy. I tell you, those times weren't so easy for me then, and that is my point. Who cares what is going on?
You must, really, it is a must, to be able to access something greater than yourself, to be able to sustain the outside circumstances, no matter what they are.
At some point, you really can laugh, and play with it all, and just say, OK, what really IS..........THE WORST CASE SCENARIO?
I certainly am not some super human thing, but I do know I have the ability to access a depth of being that is more real than any one thing that exists on the outside.
It takes remembering who we are, going with that natural energy, and being OK with the mistakes that we make, the flaws, the absurdities, and allowing yourself to be more human than you realize. Accept it all........embrace it, (easier said than done), and move on.
These are the good moments to remember.
Feel good tonight about where you are, even if you are on the edge of edges......... THIS TOO SHALL PASS.
Life is happening at a fast pace. Make something good out of it.
You'll be OK. You really will!
I love you so much!
Gabriela
Granted, there, looming in the back of your head are all of the things that you "should" be thinking of, or worrying about, but the moment is too full for you to even pay any attention to the voices. Yes, the nagging voices that tell you, you are doomed, or you are late, yet, again, with a payment, or you forgot your dry cleaning, or damn, my car needs to be washed........ whatever it is....... it is irrelevant to the present moment that you are cleaning, or stocking cookies, or cutting cakes, or whatever it is that you may be doing.
Energy in the present moment will take you to places that people only dream of. Without worrying about your life, a birth happens.
I'm not saying that me, or anyone else, is not going to worry about things, because it WILL happen, but the percentages are either getting higher or lower, no matter your circumstance.
Mine are getting lower, as I learn to take the Universe a bit more seriously, about how life should not be taken.......so seriously. I mean, what really IS THE WORST CASE SCENARIO?
Name it!
And what is the worst case scenario there?
And so what IF that really did happen? What then?
Once you hit a certain point, you really do see, that somehow, a Source intervenes, and takes your hand.
I'm not saying, sit back and relax and wait for some God to hand you dollars, cars, or even homes.
You gotta get out there.
Use that natural energy that sustains us when we have no idea how we are even operating. You somehow feel a different frequency happening, and soon, you just look and go......"I'm not questioning a damn thing, I'm just going to continue moving....".
That is natural energy. One that even YOU cannot explain, but it feels right, although everything around you seems uncertain, crazy, and just plain ol' unfathomable.
It reminds me of when I would run everyday. I used to run marathons. The first two miles were a bit exhausting, or should I say, just trying. After my second mile, really, down to the last second, to the T, at 2 miles, something would kick in, and I was in automatic drive. My stride was even keeled, my breath was in sync, and from there, I was gone! No more person trying to run, or make a certain time, just legs moving, breath flowing, and a consciousness that superseded any idea I ever had of running, or what should or should not happen with that kind of sport.
I remember one day in New Mexico, I headed out, and it was a Sunday, my long run day. Sundays were 14 miles. I used to wake up stoked to head out, to just disappear into the beauty of nature. I remember being in my 7th mile and some kind of huge energy completely took over my body, and I was flying. My pace was abnormally fast, my eyes widened with a focus that even I questioned, and there I was, in a state that now, I couldn't relate to, only in memory.
It was the most exquisite time, the most memorable "run", that took me to a place that kept me in awe for years.
I guess they call it the zone. Deem it whatever, but it was right on. Natural energy. I tell you, those times weren't so easy for me then, and that is my point. Who cares what is going on?
You must, really, it is a must, to be able to access something greater than yourself, to be able to sustain the outside circumstances, no matter what they are.
At some point, you really can laugh, and play with it all, and just say, OK, what really IS..........THE WORST CASE SCENARIO?
I certainly am not some super human thing, but I do know I have the ability to access a depth of being that is more real than any one thing that exists on the outside.
It takes remembering who we are, going with that natural energy, and being OK with the mistakes that we make, the flaws, the absurdities, and allowing yourself to be more human than you realize. Accept it all........embrace it, (easier said than done), and move on.
These are the good moments to remember.
Feel good tonight about where you are, even if you are on the edge of edges......... THIS TOO SHALL PASS.
Life is happening at a fast pace. Make something good out of it.
You'll be OK. You really will!
I love you so much!
Gabriela
Sunday, October 11, 2009
CATCHING UP WITH OURSELVES
Tis the season everyone! The air is changing, it's getting cooler, pumpkins are out, candy is on every shelf, and can you believe it, there really are Christmas tree lights up already?
I know I have been completely inundated with work, deadlines, paperwork, and literally no time to do anything! My poor grass looks like there might be a village of people living underneath of it, my house is screaming for me to put on some good music and put my special little touches on all of my sacred things. My dogs are so over it all!
If they could talk, boy would I be getting a lashin'!
Today was the first day I could actually stay in my pajamas and bum around.
I could feel myself trying to drum up something to think about, something that just HAD TO BE thought about, or done, I think because the body just gets so used to being in whatever mode we set it on, and it becomes accustomed to that, and if it isn't there, it looks for it, as if we are our own self induced drug addict.
No! I want to catch up with myself, chill out, actually feel what it is that I am feeling, and take mental notes of myself, seeing that I have missed out on me for awhile now.
Sometimes it's great to be busy, but most times, I see how it is some kind of sub conscious cover up so we can get away with not having to deal with the things in our lives that need some paying attention to.
I think there is a fine balance, but it is tricky. Not to let anything pass us by, but too, to be able to live comfortably, without thinking we are our own project, or subject for someone elses thesis. It can be a little overwhelming to work out our stuff, to iron out the kinks, and to just pay attention to the subtleties, so we can forge forward with great efforts in changing the things that need to be changed, and to be able to stand back and watch our own progress, in seeing how different we can become, how we can actually mold ourselves into anything we want, IF WE CATCH UP WITH OUR SELVES, AND GIVE OURSELVES TIME, PATIENCE, AND COMPASSION.
In my life, things tend to swing very hard one way, and then very hard the other way, leaving no room for the nice, neutral ground that seems so natural, and easy to attain.
Balancing our lives isn't an easy task. Although I guess it depends on each individual. If you are content and happy with going to work, coming home, kicking back with the remote, eating dinner and going to bed, than you should be fine! But if you are one who contemplates life, a career minded individual, a goal setter, or a dreamer............hop on the magic carpet ride, and start journaling along the way.
It's a trip!
Catch up with yourself, clear out the cob webs, check out just where you are, what your body may need, what your inner self needs, and go for it.
Rest awhile with your self, and greet yourself with open arms, ready to tackle anything.
That's my mantra for today.
I'm loving it.
And I never had to take my pajamas off through it all...........
That's what I'm talkin' about~
Gnite, and sweet dreams.
Love you all,
Gabriela
I know I have been completely inundated with work, deadlines, paperwork, and literally no time to do anything! My poor grass looks like there might be a village of people living underneath of it, my house is screaming for me to put on some good music and put my special little touches on all of my sacred things. My dogs are so over it all!
If they could talk, boy would I be getting a lashin'!
Today was the first day I could actually stay in my pajamas and bum around.
I could feel myself trying to drum up something to think about, something that just HAD TO BE thought about, or done, I think because the body just gets so used to being in whatever mode we set it on, and it becomes accustomed to that, and if it isn't there, it looks for it, as if we are our own self induced drug addict.
No! I want to catch up with myself, chill out, actually feel what it is that I am feeling, and take mental notes of myself, seeing that I have missed out on me for awhile now.
Sometimes it's great to be busy, but most times, I see how it is some kind of sub conscious cover up so we can get away with not having to deal with the things in our lives that need some paying attention to.
I think there is a fine balance, but it is tricky. Not to let anything pass us by, but too, to be able to live comfortably, without thinking we are our own project, or subject for someone elses thesis. It can be a little overwhelming to work out our stuff, to iron out the kinks, and to just pay attention to the subtleties, so we can forge forward with great efforts in changing the things that need to be changed, and to be able to stand back and watch our own progress, in seeing how different we can become, how we can actually mold ourselves into anything we want, IF WE CATCH UP WITH OUR SELVES, AND GIVE OURSELVES TIME, PATIENCE, AND COMPASSION.
In my life, things tend to swing very hard one way, and then very hard the other way, leaving no room for the nice, neutral ground that seems so natural, and easy to attain.
Balancing our lives isn't an easy task. Although I guess it depends on each individual. If you are content and happy with going to work, coming home, kicking back with the remote, eating dinner and going to bed, than you should be fine! But if you are one who contemplates life, a career minded individual, a goal setter, or a dreamer............hop on the magic carpet ride, and start journaling along the way.
It's a trip!
Catch up with yourself, clear out the cob webs, check out just where you are, what your body may need, what your inner self needs, and go for it.
Rest awhile with your self, and greet yourself with open arms, ready to tackle anything.
That's my mantra for today.
I'm loving it.
And I never had to take my pajamas off through it all...........
That's what I'm talkin' about~
Gnite, and sweet dreams.
Love you all,
Gabriela
Friday, October 9, 2009
EXTENSION OF YOURSELF
........if you can possible feel like there is an extension of your own true self, within the place that you work, than you have found a gem.
It is so important to be in surroundings that emulate you, and your personality.
Yes, there will always be kinks and stuff...........but if you find yourself saying that "this is like an extended room from my house", that you may as well say, I love my job, and the rest of the kinks that need to be worked out, will, in time, I'm sure.
I'm very grateful for my job, for the people that I get along with, and for the people that I don't get along with.
They actually wind up being more teachers than the ones I get a long with.
Hope you see that in your days too.
The one who gets on your nerves the most will be the reason you become the amazing person that you are!
Go for it!
Why not.
You are confident, right?
~
It is so important to be in surroundings that emulate you, and your personality.
Yes, there will always be kinks and stuff...........but if you find yourself saying that "this is like an extended room from my house", that you may as well say, I love my job, and the rest of the kinks that need to be worked out, will, in time, I'm sure.
I'm very grateful for my job, for the people that I get along with, and for the people that I don't get along with.
They actually wind up being more teachers than the ones I get a long with.
Hope you see that in your days too.
The one who gets on your nerves the most will be the reason you become the amazing person that you are!
Go for it!
Why not.
You are confident, right?
~
Thursday, October 8, 2009
EVERY BIT COUNTS!
I think of Santa and his workshop, watching all of his helpers running around,, everyone assigned to a job, that, in essence, is ALL important, whether it may look like this or that, it usually cannot run without one piece or another.
Someones jobs may seem more important or as if this one is working harder than this one, but really, everyone is doing their assigned job, and yes, it may seem that one looks easier, or harder than the other.
No one is greater, or better, because we are all part of the process.
Everyone is working to make the piece of the puzzle fit.
Please step back and notice, in your day, or in your job, how everyone is an integral part of the whole.
It cannot work if one or even two pieces are missing.
Look at each instance in your life where you may discount someone, thinking they didn't really contribute, or work as hard to make the piece of the puzzle fit, to make it "look right".
Consider all factors, all persons, who actually made that puzzle come together.
EVERYONE counts!
Someones jobs may seem more important or as if this one is working harder than this one, but really, everyone is doing their assigned job, and yes, it may seem that one looks easier, or harder than the other.
No one is greater, or better, because we are all part of the process.
Everyone is working to make the piece of the puzzle fit.
Please step back and notice, in your day, or in your job, how everyone is an integral part of the whole.
It cannot work if one or even two pieces are missing.
Look at each instance in your life where you may discount someone, thinking they didn't really contribute, or work as hard to make the piece of the puzzle fit, to make it "look right".
Consider all factors, all persons, who actually made that puzzle come together.
EVERYONE counts!
Monday, October 5, 2009
SHEER GRATITUDE
I am going to make this very simple.
I think it is imperative to acknowledge the things that we are grateful for.
Some things stand out more than others, and some, are just blatant, so incredibly obvious, and too, that you just want to shout out to the Universe, "HAY...... I AM UTTERLY GRATEFUL FOR THIS, AND FOR THAT, AND FOR THE GEMS THAT YOU PUT ON MY PLATE, EVERYDAY!
People, situations, jobs, acquaintances, the person at the grocery store, the teller at the bank, your co-worker that drives you nuts............
ALL OF IT!
Be grateful, for what is in front of you, is for a reason, and that moment may never arise again.
Hopefully we will take from it, all that is there, for our learning, and then we will be OK, to say that we actually acknowledged the gratitude, not just for the good, but for the not so good, what seemingly is uncomfortable, and mesh it all into the category of SHEER GRATITUDE.
Tonight, I think the people who are in my life right now, know that they are the cause, for this blog tonight.
Thank you so much for being there for me, in all of the ways that you are!
All my love,
Gabriela
I think it is imperative to acknowledge the things that we are grateful for.
Some things stand out more than others, and some, are just blatant, so incredibly obvious, and too, that you just want to shout out to the Universe, "HAY...... I AM UTTERLY GRATEFUL FOR THIS, AND FOR THAT, AND FOR THE GEMS THAT YOU PUT ON MY PLATE, EVERYDAY!
People, situations, jobs, acquaintances, the person at the grocery store, the teller at the bank, your co-worker that drives you nuts............
ALL OF IT!
Be grateful, for what is in front of you, is for a reason, and that moment may never arise again.
Hopefully we will take from it, all that is there, for our learning, and then we will be OK, to say that we actually acknowledged the gratitude, not just for the good, but for the not so good, what seemingly is uncomfortable, and mesh it all into the category of SHEER GRATITUDE.
Tonight, I think the people who are in my life right now, know that they are the cause, for this blog tonight.
Thank you so much for being there for me, in all of the ways that you are!
All my love,
Gabriela
Sunday, October 4, 2009
THE IMPORTANCE OF FAITH
We all want to feel secure, to know that if we leave a relationship or job, if we sell a house, or a car, that there will be an even better one right there for us so we won't have to feel any anxiety, loneliness, stress, or uncertainty.
How many times have you said to yourself, "I can't leave my job until I find another good one,", or"I can't let this relationship go, even though your partner said sayanara a few months before hand,........ahhhh, oh my god, what if I never meet anybody as funny, or as this, or as that???"
The truth is, you won't create what you ultimately crave in your heart, until you make a leap of faith and destroy what is no longer serving you, so that something that WILL serve you can move on in. No deposit required!
Easier said than done, I do know that, but I am exploring this WITH YOU, and unveiling things as I go....so stay with me okay?
Life may actually work this way because we are meant to learn about FAITH. Faith in whatever it is that you believe in. God, the Universe, the Source, make your own label, it doesn't matter to me, at all, what you choose, so long as you are a genuinely a happy person.
We need Faith in our ability to create, and faith in our ability to handle any situation for a temporary period of time.
If you have no faith, if you can't deal with uncertainty, or loneliness, or even poverty, then you will always be a prisoner to what seems to be your needs but, really, are your desires.
You can always handle so much more than what you think you can. I am my own true example of that.
I have raised my own eyebrows. I startle myself, with my elasticity, and my willingness. It's hard to grasp sometimes, and then sometimes, in my moments of deep contemplation, I don't raise an eyebrow, because there is such a grand, grand, infinite amount of strength, inside of us all, to cope, to try to understand, or to just hang with any circumstance that comes our way.
We are so much more powerful than we think we are.
The good news is that when you jump into life, maybe even blindfolded, but with both feet first, you usually don't have to deal with the things you fear the most, for too long, because life does want to "reward" you for putting your dreams over your fears.
Look, I know this can all sound so esoteric, so full of great thoughts, but maybe your reality is seemingly far away from this consciousness, as mine can be, trust me, until I remind myself, of what is real, and try to lasso myself in, to an honest, and maybe harsh reality.
We all deal with things in our own way, and in my experience, as we get older, it gets different, harder, I guess.
Depending on our own individual lifestyles.
I'll keep my life to the book I'm working on. Don't compare yourself to anyone. You truly never do know, what has happened to someone, the effects it has had on them, and how that transpires into their everyday existence.
As soon as you do have a thought, no matter what it is, take it back............just take it back. You will never wrap yourself around someones psyche!! And they, to you. Just allow people to be.
We can try for the good ol' Vision Boards, the Actions speak louder than words", the "You are what you think", "You attract what you are".........and those are ALL GREAT THOUGHTS, AND DEFINITE "RULES" TO FOLLOW............ if that is what you believe in, of course, but the bottom line is............ Where are you inside? Ask yourself, every once in awhile, "Hay, what do I want?" And stream line it from there. You really don't have to get all heady, and caught up in the how's, the whys and all of that.
Check inside. Get quiet. Give yourself a moment to decipher the "you", from the YOU!
Listen to hunches, try to keep you thoughts in the moment, and not worry, from moment to moment, how your life is going to turn out.
Ya know, I have learned with myself, that, my most glorious moments, are when I stay right here, with whatever is happening, it could be music, it could be sitting outside, shoot, it could be cleaning the toilet.........but man, I'm cleaning that toilet, and I'm doing it 100%. Or, whatever it is, I'm not drifting into what bill needs to be paid, or how this is, or how that is. It may be a reality, but in THIS MOMENT, all is well, and I allowed myself the freedom to just BE, with whatever it is that I was doing. I let myself off the hook in a way, ya know?
Where is our FAITH, that everything truly WILL BE OK, no matter what the circumstance?
It takes a lot to keep it strong, to keep it consistent, and to nurture that part of us that isn't so supported, or acknowledged.
I am here, giving you faith, giving you permission to say to yourself............. I HAVE FAITH IN ANY AND EVERYTHING I WANT, SO THEREFORE, I WILL GET IT.
Do whatever you need to do. Light a candle, say a prayer, talk to God, stare at the sky, do whatever it is that keeps you connected and gives you some higher vision, other than what you robotically do everyday.
I am so there with you.
Keep the Faith,
Gabriela
How many times have you said to yourself, "I can't leave my job until I find another good one,", or"I can't let this relationship go, even though your partner said sayanara a few months before hand,........ahhhh, oh my god, what if I never meet anybody as funny, or as this, or as that???"
The truth is, you won't create what you ultimately crave in your heart, until you make a leap of faith and destroy what is no longer serving you, so that something that WILL serve you can move on in. No deposit required!
Easier said than done, I do know that, but I am exploring this WITH YOU, and unveiling things as I go....so stay with me okay?
Life may actually work this way because we are meant to learn about FAITH. Faith in whatever it is that you believe in. God, the Universe, the Source, make your own label, it doesn't matter to me, at all, what you choose, so long as you are a genuinely a happy person.
We need Faith in our ability to create, and faith in our ability to handle any situation for a temporary period of time.
If you have no faith, if you can't deal with uncertainty, or loneliness, or even poverty, then you will always be a prisoner to what seems to be your needs but, really, are your desires.
You can always handle so much more than what you think you can. I am my own true example of that.
I have raised my own eyebrows. I startle myself, with my elasticity, and my willingness. It's hard to grasp sometimes, and then sometimes, in my moments of deep contemplation, I don't raise an eyebrow, because there is such a grand, grand, infinite amount of strength, inside of us all, to cope, to try to understand, or to just hang with any circumstance that comes our way.
We are so much more powerful than we think we are.
The good news is that when you jump into life, maybe even blindfolded, but with both feet first, you usually don't have to deal with the things you fear the most, for too long, because life does want to "reward" you for putting your dreams over your fears.
Look, I know this can all sound so esoteric, so full of great thoughts, but maybe your reality is seemingly far away from this consciousness, as mine can be, trust me, until I remind myself, of what is real, and try to lasso myself in, to an honest, and maybe harsh reality.
We all deal with things in our own way, and in my experience, as we get older, it gets different, harder, I guess.
Depending on our own individual lifestyles.
I'll keep my life to the book I'm working on. Don't compare yourself to anyone. You truly never do know, what has happened to someone, the effects it has had on them, and how that transpires into their everyday existence.
As soon as you do have a thought, no matter what it is, take it back............just take it back. You will never wrap yourself around someones psyche!! And they, to you. Just allow people to be.
We can try for the good ol' Vision Boards, the Actions speak louder than words", the "You are what you think", "You attract what you are".........and those are ALL GREAT THOUGHTS, AND DEFINITE "RULES" TO FOLLOW............ if that is what you believe in, of course, but the bottom line is............ Where are you inside? Ask yourself, every once in awhile, "Hay, what do I want?" And stream line it from there. You really don't have to get all heady, and caught up in the how's, the whys and all of that.
Check inside. Get quiet. Give yourself a moment to decipher the "you", from the YOU!
Listen to hunches, try to keep you thoughts in the moment, and not worry, from moment to moment, how your life is going to turn out.
Ya know, I have learned with myself, that, my most glorious moments, are when I stay right here, with whatever is happening, it could be music, it could be sitting outside, shoot, it could be cleaning the toilet.........but man, I'm cleaning that toilet, and I'm doing it 100%. Or, whatever it is, I'm not drifting into what bill needs to be paid, or how this is, or how that is. It may be a reality, but in THIS MOMENT, all is well, and I allowed myself the freedom to just BE, with whatever it is that I was doing. I let myself off the hook in a way, ya know?
Where is our FAITH, that everything truly WILL BE OK, no matter what the circumstance?
It takes a lot to keep it strong, to keep it consistent, and to nurture that part of us that isn't so supported, or acknowledged.
I am here, giving you faith, giving you permission to say to yourself............. I HAVE FAITH IN ANY AND EVERYTHING I WANT, SO THEREFORE, I WILL GET IT.
Do whatever you need to do. Light a candle, say a prayer, talk to God, stare at the sky, do whatever it is that keeps you connected and gives you some higher vision, other than what you robotically do everyday.
I am so there with you.
Keep the Faith,
Gabriela
Saturday, October 3, 2009
IT IS AMAZING TO ME.....
When someone
actually
believes
in you
so much........
how unbelievably
fearless
you
become!
actually
believes
in you
so much........
how unbelievably
fearless
you
become!
Friday, October 2, 2009
PLUNGE FORWARD........
...........no matter what the circumstance!
You could be in a hairy situation, broke, no job, no transportation, all of the above......... you could wake up everyday saying, "Why me?"
When I wake up, I start to come to some sort of consciousness when that snooze alarm rings in my ear every 10 minutes............but as I sort of come out, and into the world of reality, I try to not let any thoughts bombard me, until I connect inside, to check in, to know where I am at, speak out loud, what I am grateful for, who, why, where, and how........and just take 10 to 15 minutes to reflect on how I want my day to go, how I can control those thoughts, and to make it the best possible day, no matter what my life offers. I am a true believer in that.
That is just me. It sets me up for the day. I want to connect to people, outside of my reality. After all, someone else may be in a worse situation than me. I want to be there for them! Nothing co-dependant please, just natural human relating will do for me!
It really is a win win situation.
I just never want to forget appreciation for people who are there for me, who guide me along, who teach me, and who are friends, beyond the masks of this title and that title.
I love, respect, and appreciate all of them........and they should know it, because I am not one who hides my feelings.
If you are special, if you have helped me in some way, or have impacted my life somehow............YOU WILL KNOW............mushy and all............... that is just me guys!
I think we all have our own stories.
You may have a great job, great salary, but no matter what that looks like, you are still.........just not making it.
You may not have a great job, but have a wonderful relationship where someone is backing you up, supporting your endeavors, and working with you, as a team...........
It's different for all of us............ I don't think the grass is always greener, but some things do
actually, come in handy.
More money might be one, or it might be more free time, or more this or more that.
Don't you think there will always be one thing or the other, that tells you, things just aren't exactly where I want them to be?
That is the beauty of freedom of choice.
If something doesn't meet up to snuff, than we tweek it, to make it work for us, or we just move on.
Only we know, what we need, for us.........and too, I cannot leave that statement at period, end of story.
Intuition works incredibly, and tells us so much about life, if we give room to listen to it. Stop, long enough to hear what it really is that we need, beyond what anyone else's opinions are, even our own.
There always seems to be some underlying story, some undercurrent of knowledge that will surface, if we let it.
Can we be THAT patient?
Sometimes I can, sometimes I can't!
I won't lie!
Most times I feel as if I have no choice, only because why dodge something that you can't really run away from?
You sort of "surrender" to a way that is so not natural, yet, it brings up so much stuff.
I don't wan to get crazy.........I just wanted to say, PLUNGE FORWARD, in all that you want, no matter what your scenario is.
Trust would be a key factor, but hay, who am I?
I tell myself all the same things.
There are some basic, key elements that work, if we can be objective enough, to step away from our own scenario, to catch a glimpse of what the bigger picture is, to look at it, and smile, and say.......... from a true inner experience, that it really IS ALL OK, AND ALL WILL WORK OUT, AND WE WILL BE HAPPY, IN AND AMONGST IT ALL............. to let the things that seems so huge, so unattainable, get back to a place of actually being ATTAINABLE, inside.
We are not headed South.
It's always North bound............... on my radio anyway.
Over and out!
~
You could be in a hairy situation, broke, no job, no transportation, all of the above......... you could wake up everyday saying, "Why me?"
When I wake up, I start to come to some sort of consciousness when that snooze alarm rings in my ear every 10 minutes............but as I sort of come out, and into the world of reality, I try to not let any thoughts bombard me, until I connect inside, to check in, to know where I am at, speak out loud, what I am grateful for, who, why, where, and how........and just take 10 to 15 minutes to reflect on how I want my day to go, how I can control those thoughts, and to make it the best possible day, no matter what my life offers. I am a true believer in that.
That is just me. It sets me up for the day. I want to connect to people, outside of my reality. After all, someone else may be in a worse situation than me. I want to be there for them! Nothing co-dependant please, just natural human relating will do for me!
It really is a win win situation.
I just never want to forget appreciation for people who are there for me, who guide me along, who teach me, and who are friends, beyond the masks of this title and that title.
I love, respect, and appreciate all of them........and they should know it, because I am not one who hides my feelings.
If you are special, if you have helped me in some way, or have impacted my life somehow............YOU WILL KNOW............mushy and all............... that is just me guys!
I think we all have our own stories.
You may have a great job, great salary, but no matter what that looks like, you are still.........just not making it.
You may not have a great job, but have a wonderful relationship where someone is backing you up, supporting your endeavors, and working with you, as a team...........
It's different for all of us............ I don't think the grass is always greener, but some things do
actually, come in handy.
More money might be one, or it might be more free time, or more this or more that.
Don't you think there will always be one thing or the other, that tells you, things just aren't exactly where I want them to be?
That is the beauty of freedom of choice.
If something doesn't meet up to snuff, than we tweek it, to make it work for us, or we just move on.
Only we know, what we need, for us.........and too, I cannot leave that statement at period, end of story.
Intuition works incredibly, and tells us so much about life, if we give room to listen to it. Stop, long enough to hear what it really is that we need, beyond what anyone else's opinions are, even our own.
There always seems to be some underlying story, some undercurrent of knowledge that will surface, if we let it.
Can we be THAT patient?
Sometimes I can, sometimes I can't!
I won't lie!
Most times I feel as if I have no choice, only because why dodge something that you can't really run away from?
You sort of "surrender" to a way that is so not natural, yet, it brings up so much stuff.
I don't wan to get crazy.........I just wanted to say, PLUNGE FORWARD, in all that you want, no matter what your scenario is.
Trust would be a key factor, but hay, who am I?
I tell myself all the same things.
There are some basic, key elements that work, if we can be objective enough, to step away from our own scenario, to catch a glimpse of what the bigger picture is, to look at it, and smile, and say.......... from a true inner experience, that it really IS ALL OK, AND ALL WILL WORK OUT, AND WE WILL BE HAPPY, IN AND AMONGST IT ALL............. to let the things that seems so huge, so unattainable, get back to a place of actually being ATTAINABLE, inside.
We are not headed South.
It's always North bound............... on my radio anyway.
Over and out!
~
Thursday, October 1, 2009
THE VERY BASICS OF LIFE
I am sure that everyone can look at that title and come up with what their "very basics of life" would be, and then, maybe read mine, and go...........whoa, that is a little TOO BASIC FOR ME!!
I was home today, and didn't feel well, and decided to just do a few things for work, a few things for me at the house, and to just relax, and put my legs up, and spend time with the animals.
I don't really have that much time for extra curricular activities, and it almost seems like a glorious day in miracle land, if I get to watch a video, you know, something mindless that will take you away for awhile, just a brain dead kinda day.
So I looked over at my TV and saw this movie that a friend got for me. A funny movie, to some, but, for me, shoot, it was filmed in Africa, and I am on ANYTHING ABOUT AFRICA, and for being the silliest movie, really, something I would never, ever rent, I said, what the hey, popped it in, and immediately, was entranced.
The opening shot was in the Northern Serengeti, in the Safari, where I was incredibly privileged to spend a lot of time.
It had to be THE MOST AMAZING TIME OF MY LIFE, one that I am trying very hard to articulate for a book, and for me, to be at a loss for words, is........well.........it just doesn't happen often.
I immediately sat down, brought my coffee over, snuggled with my babies, and watched the most glorious events happen, there, in Africa, with the people, the animals, the setting, the way of life, the amazing...................... AMAZING...............SIMPLICITY........................ that transported me to a place, that so truly resonates with me, first, foremost, and above and beyond anything else on the face of the earth.
I spent an incredible amount of time with the Masai People, watching them, learning from them, doing what they do, asking a million questions, video taping every precious moment, listening so intently, eating what they ate, sharing a language that most people would not take the time to hear.
They acclimate to their surroundings. They use every bit of what is man made, and make it work to their advantage. They are outside, in nature, hearing nature, feeling nature, appreciating nature, and nourishing their bodies,, from nature.
When I saw the process of how they "kill" animals for food, I cried.
They take a man made poultice, or tincture, from herbs that they have gathered, and put the paste on the end of an arrow, and when they find the right animal, or meat, they aim and throw the arrow, to sedate the animal, and then, of course, it eventually kills the animal. Trust me, I hate to even see that, but watching the process, it shows you when man REALLY needs something for his existence, to actually stay afloat, there are things you can do, out of a necessity.
After he shot the arrow, and the animal went to "sleep", the tradition is, that they immediately go over to the animal, bow down, and ask for forgiveness, and say a long prayer, so incredibly humble, so reverent, to let the animal know, it is just out of sheer necessity, to do what they have done, but not to forget how honored they are to be able to take from them, what will sustain them, and nourish them, throughout their existence.
That was just ONE segment.
Of course there is one element that happens with me.
No matter what I watch, I always seek the symbolism out, and especially when it is THIS blatant, I can't help but to depict the amazing parallels that almost NEED to be talked about, in order for me to stay in a place that keeps me simple, remembering the things that are really true, simple, for my taste. Amongst the crazy technology, the IPhone, the computer, all of the conveniences, every bit of how we Americans live, mostly, rubs me the wrong way, and I try to swim to the shore of simplicity, every chance I get, to get away from that "norm", and to relish in what I know to be godly, satiating, and transforming.
Watching this movie, took me back to when I was in Africa, how it transformed my entire life, and how it marked what I want to be doing for the rest of my life.
I know I cannot describe all of that in one single blog, or probably couldn't in several, but.........
Maybe I will catch you up on what that was all about for me, since this doesn't really tell much, just the emotional impact it had on me.
I swear, every single moment.......... that I spent in Africa, made me feel more alive, than ANY.......ANY EXPERIENCE.........here.
That would go for, purchases, lovers, birthday bashes, incredible meditative moments, extreme sexual satisfaction, shopping sprees, favorite art pieces, the best cake, candy, food, wine.............. beaches, homes, cars, trucks...........you name it.............
The amount of satisfaction that I derived from traipsing around from orphanage to orphanage, stock piling their "homes", so to speak, with Mesa flour, soap, sugar, salt, the very basics, of basics........... just so they can have something to eat for the next day, or even that moment.
Nets to cover their heads so they wouldn't get Malaria, from the mosquitoes hanging out in every corner of life............
These people were happy in all of their despair.
No one was complaining.
No one was pissed cuz their IPhone was lost, or broken. They actually lit up like a Christmas Tree that we brought bottled water. THAT WAS A GIFT GUYS. WATER WAS A GIFT.
Not a Lexus, not a piece of art work, not good food, but WATER.
THE VERY BASICS OF LIFE INNATELY MAKE US HAPPY.
Anyway, this movie moved me to find my footage, wondering if I actually had any left after a huge move, and lord knows who took what, where things got placed, but I managed to find one CD. Better one, than none.
Just the title of the CD enamored me. Nothing crazy, just KENYA SAFARI.......ARRIVAL/3 ORPHANAGES.
I knew what that meant, and I started to kind of hurry to finish up any last "business" that I had, to go watch the time of my life.
I thought, "Oh, let me put this on while I cook dinner", but as soon as I put it on, I couldn't do any thing else.
I paused it.
I watched my morning, coming out of my tent, on Safari, in the beautiful Serengeti, the sunrise, the outline of the sky, the images of the trees, the little wart hogs that run so ramped, and the zebra that make any "dreary day", look like heaven, on a silver platter.
Seriously, I am in such a state of awe, just as much now, as I was then, right there, in the thick of it all.
There is an extremely endearing, passionate, love making, when it comes to how I appreciate, and acknowledge, a land that I am so connected to, since I was a child.
There isn't much else I think about, other than writing........writing until my heart is content.
Relationships are cool, I guess. They are another entity.........and beautiful, for what they offer, in another spectrum...........but when you taste life, in such a grandiose way, you almost cannot bare to go "back", to the "normal" existence that we all live, everyday.
Animals, real people, living off of their sacred land, appreciating the most simple "luxuries", that we, as Americans, throw around like it will always be there.
They smile continuously, they don't WANT, OR NEED, they............just ............are~
And revel in that............
This movie was incredibly symbolic, as it is, in short, a man flying in an airplane, happens to throw his coke bottle out of his airplane, and it lands in Africa, where they don't even know what anything "hard" is.
The tribe is totally entranced with this coke bottle, and starts using it for everything. To smooth out snake skin, to chop root vegetables up, to use as a sort of flute, for many things.
Soon, it starts making waves because of it's convenience.
Everyone in the tribe wants to use it, handle it, and is so entranced by it.
All of a sudden, a tribe that is so content, so fine with the simple life, finds something that is convenient for them, rather than the "man made way", and it suddenly creates disturbance.
This one is JEALOUS, that the the other one had the coke bottle for this long.
This one is fighting because the other took the coke bottle to make this or that...........
All of a sudden, everyone who never had "the coke bottle", all of a sudden wanted it, got a taste of the convenience, and forgot what it was like to be simple, with what they innately, had, to begin with.
The movie, in all of it's silliness, drove me to extreme gratitude.
I looked in my refrigerator, that earlier, seemed barren, thought about the things that I said, "I needed", and just saw my thoughts, and where they resided, and pretty much erased 99.9% of it all................
and here I sit, with the dinner I thought was "boring", and desperado, because I cannot get to a store, in the moment, and felt extremely ridiculous, so pretentious, in a way, and melted, so far down to an existence that leaves me, now, in such gratitude, savoring every last bit of an extremely gourmet meal, that otherwise, I would have thought, "Eh", I'll get something better when I have the chance."
HOW CRAZY IS THAT?
OK, I'm rambling, but only because it is such a great subject.
I'm going to watch the rest of my trip on video, and remember what it is that I love the most, and continue plotting and planning.
I hope you all find what it is that is your extreme passion, and that you keep it fresh in your mind, and know, at all times, that is available, and ready for you to embark on, exactly when you are ready to make the move.
So much support and love,
Gabriela
I was home today, and didn't feel well, and decided to just do a few things for work, a few things for me at the house, and to just relax, and put my legs up, and spend time with the animals.
I don't really have that much time for extra curricular activities, and it almost seems like a glorious day in miracle land, if I get to watch a video, you know, something mindless that will take you away for awhile, just a brain dead kinda day.
So I looked over at my TV and saw this movie that a friend got for me. A funny movie, to some, but, for me, shoot, it was filmed in Africa, and I am on ANYTHING ABOUT AFRICA, and for being the silliest movie, really, something I would never, ever rent, I said, what the hey, popped it in, and immediately, was entranced.
The opening shot was in the Northern Serengeti, in the Safari, where I was incredibly privileged to spend a lot of time.
It had to be THE MOST AMAZING TIME OF MY LIFE, one that I am trying very hard to articulate for a book, and for me, to be at a loss for words, is........well.........it just doesn't happen often.
I immediately sat down, brought my coffee over, snuggled with my babies, and watched the most glorious events happen, there, in Africa, with the people, the animals, the setting, the way of life, the amazing...................... AMAZING...............SIMPLICITY........................ that transported me to a place, that so truly resonates with me, first, foremost, and above and beyond anything else on the face of the earth.
I spent an incredible amount of time with the Masai People, watching them, learning from them, doing what they do, asking a million questions, video taping every precious moment, listening so intently, eating what they ate, sharing a language that most people would not take the time to hear.
They acclimate to their surroundings. They use every bit of what is man made, and make it work to their advantage. They are outside, in nature, hearing nature, feeling nature, appreciating nature, and nourishing their bodies,, from nature.
When I saw the process of how they "kill" animals for food, I cried.
They take a man made poultice, or tincture, from herbs that they have gathered, and put the paste on the end of an arrow, and when they find the right animal, or meat, they aim and throw the arrow, to sedate the animal, and then, of course, it eventually kills the animal. Trust me, I hate to even see that, but watching the process, it shows you when man REALLY needs something for his existence, to actually stay afloat, there are things you can do, out of a necessity.
After he shot the arrow, and the animal went to "sleep", the tradition is, that they immediately go over to the animal, bow down, and ask for forgiveness, and say a long prayer, so incredibly humble, so reverent, to let the animal know, it is just out of sheer necessity, to do what they have done, but not to forget how honored they are to be able to take from them, what will sustain them, and nourish them, throughout their existence.
That was just ONE segment.
Of course there is one element that happens with me.
No matter what I watch, I always seek the symbolism out, and especially when it is THIS blatant, I can't help but to depict the amazing parallels that almost NEED to be talked about, in order for me to stay in a place that keeps me simple, remembering the things that are really true, simple, for my taste. Amongst the crazy technology, the IPhone, the computer, all of the conveniences, every bit of how we Americans live, mostly, rubs me the wrong way, and I try to swim to the shore of simplicity, every chance I get, to get away from that "norm", and to relish in what I know to be godly, satiating, and transforming.
Watching this movie, took me back to when I was in Africa, how it transformed my entire life, and how it marked what I want to be doing for the rest of my life.
I know I cannot describe all of that in one single blog, or probably couldn't in several, but.........
Maybe I will catch you up on what that was all about for me, since this doesn't really tell much, just the emotional impact it had on me.
I swear, every single moment.......... that I spent in Africa, made me feel more alive, than ANY.......ANY EXPERIENCE.........here.
That would go for, purchases, lovers, birthday bashes, incredible meditative moments, extreme sexual satisfaction, shopping sprees, favorite art pieces, the best cake, candy, food, wine.............. beaches, homes, cars, trucks...........you name it.............
The amount of satisfaction that I derived from traipsing around from orphanage to orphanage, stock piling their "homes", so to speak, with Mesa flour, soap, sugar, salt, the very basics, of basics........... just so they can have something to eat for the next day, or even that moment.
Nets to cover their heads so they wouldn't get Malaria, from the mosquitoes hanging out in every corner of life............
These people were happy in all of their despair.
No one was complaining.
No one was pissed cuz their IPhone was lost, or broken. They actually lit up like a Christmas Tree that we brought bottled water. THAT WAS A GIFT GUYS. WATER WAS A GIFT.
Not a Lexus, not a piece of art work, not good food, but WATER.
THE VERY BASICS OF LIFE INNATELY MAKE US HAPPY.
Anyway, this movie moved me to find my footage, wondering if I actually had any left after a huge move, and lord knows who took what, where things got placed, but I managed to find one CD. Better one, than none.
Just the title of the CD enamored me. Nothing crazy, just KENYA SAFARI.......ARRIVAL/3 ORPHANAGES.
I knew what that meant, and I started to kind of hurry to finish up any last "business" that I had, to go watch the time of my life.
I thought, "Oh, let me put this on while I cook dinner", but as soon as I put it on, I couldn't do any thing else.
I paused it.
I watched my morning, coming out of my tent, on Safari, in the beautiful Serengeti, the sunrise, the outline of the sky, the images of the trees, the little wart hogs that run so ramped, and the zebra that make any "dreary day", look like heaven, on a silver platter.
Seriously, I am in such a state of awe, just as much now, as I was then, right there, in the thick of it all.
There is an extremely endearing, passionate, love making, when it comes to how I appreciate, and acknowledge, a land that I am so connected to, since I was a child.
There isn't much else I think about, other than writing........writing until my heart is content.
Relationships are cool, I guess. They are another entity.........and beautiful, for what they offer, in another spectrum...........but when you taste life, in such a grandiose way, you almost cannot bare to go "back", to the "normal" existence that we all live, everyday.
Animals, real people, living off of their sacred land, appreciating the most simple "luxuries", that we, as Americans, throw around like it will always be there.
They smile continuously, they don't WANT, OR NEED, they............just ............are~
And revel in that............
This movie was incredibly symbolic, as it is, in short, a man flying in an airplane, happens to throw his coke bottle out of his airplane, and it lands in Africa, where they don't even know what anything "hard" is.
The tribe is totally entranced with this coke bottle, and starts using it for everything. To smooth out snake skin, to chop root vegetables up, to use as a sort of flute, for many things.
Soon, it starts making waves because of it's convenience.
Everyone in the tribe wants to use it, handle it, and is so entranced by it.
All of a sudden, a tribe that is so content, so fine with the simple life, finds something that is convenient for them, rather than the "man made way", and it suddenly creates disturbance.
This one is JEALOUS, that the the other one had the coke bottle for this long.
This one is fighting because the other took the coke bottle to make this or that...........
All of a sudden, everyone who never had "the coke bottle", all of a sudden wanted it, got a taste of the convenience, and forgot what it was like to be simple, with what they innately, had, to begin with.
The movie, in all of it's silliness, drove me to extreme gratitude.
I looked in my refrigerator, that earlier, seemed barren, thought about the things that I said, "I needed", and just saw my thoughts, and where they resided, and pretty much erased 99.9% of it all................
and here I sit, with the dinner I thought was "boring", and desperado, because I cannot get to a store, in the moment, and felt extremely ridiculous, so pretentious, in a way, and melted, so far down to an existence that leaves me, now, in such gratitude, savoring every last bit of an extremely gourmet meal, that otherwise, I would have thought, "Eh", I'll get something better when I have the chance."
HOW CRAZY IS THAT?
OK, I'm rambling, but only because it is such a great subject.
I'm going to watch the rest of my trip on video, and remember what it is that I love the most, and continue plotting and planning.
I hope you all find what it is that is your extreme passion, and that you keep it fresh in your mind, and know, at all times, that is available, and ready for you to embark on, exactly when you are ready to make the move.
So much support and love,
Gabriela
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