LETS PLAY TRUTH OR DARE

Remember that game? I used to love that one. I won all the time because I practically would do anything, and go ahead, ask me anything! It was usually the person asking me a Truth question, who would either feel uncomfortable, or disappointed, one or the other.

I, on the other hand, had a blast with it. I liked the truth questions better. You could be more creative with it. The dares? Well, it usually had to be done right then and there, so you were limited in your creative process.

Here, on the other hand, we have lots of room to play with.

I figured we can play a little game with ourselves, and, each other. Try to muster up some fun ways to make things happen for us.

OK, so......... TRUTH? OR DARE?

(pick dare, it'll be more fun)haha

Lets dare to do one thing........ just one, this week, that we think we cannot do. Not anything crazy, just something that has been or is difficult. And like we do with our jobs everyday, as much as we don't feel like going, our butts show up on time, and we dredge through it, even if our minds are still in the bed, snoozing away. The point is, we go because we HAVE TO. We have to make money right?

So, why does money, (always ranking first place, that money is), take precedence over making ourselves feel better or look better, or wanting that other job we want, or the boat we know we want, or this or that? Money really isn't THAT POWERFUL, we just treat it like it is some God, but really, if you really look at it, it's just like anything else. It really does sit on the same shelf as everything else. I'm thinking, and this is for me too, that we need to switch our mind sets about money, and it's place in our lives, and the superiority we give it, and knock it down a notch, and put something else in it's place.

I DARE YOU.

What do you want? Right now, it can be small, or big, but I suggest we start small, so we don't set ourselves up for instant failure. Let's go tiny, just to start, like, I promise myself that for one week, I will eat one really good meal a day, and who cares what happens to the rest, as long as I get some fresh veggies in, (excluding peas and corn guys), and some protein. Good, one week is gone. WE DID IT. Small, little steps.

How about, even though I don't make a tone of money, NO MATTER WHAT, I will put 20 dollars aside and hide it, for the week. Just 20 not 200. That will be in my hidden safe called I DARE TO DREAM, or something like that. That will go towards your boat, or your new outfit, or whatever your minds eye is on, that thinks it CAN'T HAVE.

DARE TO PICK ONE THING, FOR THIS WEEK, and make it small, and do it for one week only. Then next week we will amp it up a bit, but not until we conquer the small ones.

WHO'S IN?

Not kidding!!

I will wait to hear from you, and you do not have to disclose WHAT it is, but trusting you will tell that your DARE, did in fact challenge you, and you beat all odds........ there will be a sweet surprise at the end of the week, for the ones who made it, clean, and honest, and jumped over some hurdle.

OK, ON YOUR MARK, GET SET...........................



STOP!!

Yes, I was the bratty kid who did that 3 or 4 times, until someone got mad enough to say......C'MONNNNNNNNNNNNNN!!

OK, OK.........ON YOUR MARK.............GET SET....................




STOP..........

OK, JUST GO ALREADY!!


PICK SOMETHING.

It's the beginning of the week. Make it happen!!!!!

I have mine.

Wait, no fair..........who gives me a prize if I win?

Alright, I don't need one.

I get gifts all the time.

LOVE YOU ALL TONS.

DARE TO LIVE, DARE TO DREAM, DARE TO BE DIFFERENT...............dare to truly challenge yourself, and win..........because.....................YOU CAN!!!

Always goin for the gold,
Gabriela

WHEN LIFE HANDS YOU........

A bowl of lemons, know that you also, can look to the right and see that there are also, bowls of limes, oranges, and anything else that will surely quench your thirst.

We have options!!

Options are everywhere as long as we see them.

And, ya know what, we don't even have to see them. We have options, always, at all times, no matter where we are, at any given time.

And .......the options are for a multitude of subjects.

Options for career, relationships, jobs, friends, and whatever company you choose to hang with.

Isn't that awesome?

Oh, I hate to seem or sound redundant, but FREEDOM OF CHOICE........again, takes precedence, over any and everything.

I kind of feel at a loss for words, (be quiet Frank), I am a very quiet person, you know.

I just feel like there are so many options in life for us to choose from, that to feel like we have no choice is crazy talk.

I want you all to know that whatever it is that you choose to do, how big or how small, it is significant, and you deserve to have it.

It may take awhile to get to the orange. You may be just at lemons and limes, but did you ever hear of stepping stones?

It takes awhile to get to good.

But that point is............. see that there are options everywhere, and be damn creative. See what you want, get the crayons out, and play.

I want, what you want for you, and for me.

I will "see" you in the morning.

I love you guys,
g

YOU AIN'T GONNA FOOL ME............

It is so funny how a multitude of circumstances show up in our lives to try to pull us away from our center.

I mean, really, it gets ludicrous after awhile.

You look at what life presents and you literally want to go.............."Oh, c'mon, you have got to be kidding?"

"No", says life, " I ain't kiddin!"

Buckle up guys........and get to gettin.

What does today offer, and what do you need to do to fix, finagle, or make good?

I know I have my good ol' list goin. Life never seems to cheat me of strange happenings or odd occurrences. Trust me. Life must have heard, too many times, how I hate to be bored.

I think I might change that saying........at least to something more creative and fun.

What made it's way to your doorstep today? Did you freak out? Did you just go along with the program? Freak out AND go along with the program?

Look, we ain't saints, ya know, so if you did freak out a bit, and then buckled up for the program, you ain't doin' so bad, ya know?

Ease up on yourself a bit.

I had the opportunity to buckle up today. It's funny how life sets in, and sometimes it is a fight or flight............( I might be getting bored of that one).

I find that if you just grab the information that is handed to you, whether it be, you are losing your job, have no money, oh god, the possibilities are endless, you name the situation, if you just grab the info, without any emotion attached, and just forge forward with just the facts and the gumption to fix it, you will be fine. The effort was put forth, and you really, are at no place, to lose.

I think that is when the "Gods" come to assist you, because you Surrendered, and didn't put up a fight, or try to dodge your own reality, or deny it in some way.

I find, that when you just comply, (Gabriela is complying to a rule.....notation please), it is so much easier to make headway, with certain things, of course. (don't make me get detailed to back myself up).

Things that are necessary, definite rule laden for society, things you just cannot change, that is what I am talking about. Go with the program, find out what it is that you need to comply with, or adhere to, and just move the hell on. Pay it, do it, find the solution, and moveeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee forward!

Much easier than paying late fees.

Life is full of funny rules, and some, I just really DON'T want to comply with.

I will debate the reasons why too. Even if they are staunch, and the same rules for decades. Who is to say I don't have an opinion about it, and hay, I can try to wiggle my way, or try to change it, if someone lets me, or, at least hears me out.

No matter the situation, I AIN'T GONNA BE FOOLED, into believing that whatever the circumstance, it is going to take me to the Matt. No!

Bring it on. You ain't gonna fool me, thinkin' that I am going to buy into the martyrdom, or the "whoa is me" or the "can you believe this is happening to me?" blues.

I may go there for a second, and then I try to pull on every resource I have to bail me out of that way of thinking, or simply, shout out to a friend, " aaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhh what the hey??" Bring me back to reality PLEASE!! Make me laugh already.

I don't want to be fooled that THAT is my true reality, because IT IS NOT!

My reality is............ It will all work out, and as long as I am responsible, and taking whatever steps it takes to move forward, then I am OK. Life might assist me in the process, ya know?

Be good with any circumstance that comes your way. Trust me, I know what freak out mode is. Try to avoid that mess, and head straight for, alright, what do I have to do next? And without a blink, you are just taking the steps to undue, or do, whatever you need to do.

This is all first hand. I ain't tellin' you nuthin' that hasn't come my way. I'm learning too guys.
That is why I say, let's hold hands and support each other in our quest to be good with all things, to get good with our lives, our intentions and good with each other.

I have some homework to do, in a bunch of areas. I'm workin full time. If I had the money, I'd be workin' overtime. It is THAT important to me.

Thank you all for being such great reminders to me, to smile along the way, forget the BS, and chill out......... read......... write.............have a margarita............ hang in the hammock............... sing............. and make a huge fool of yourself in the meantime.

That is what I love...........

Don't let a situation get the best of you. Say out loud...........YOU AIN'T GONNA FOOL ME.

It works. Say it..............and you'll see how you get over it real, real quick.

Tons of love in these hard, hard times.
Ain't nuthin' gonna beat us!

Gabriela

Seriously now..............

I NEED AN EDITOR. SPELLING CHECK ON ISLE 4 PLEASE!

PUNCTUATION ON 2.

THANK YOU!

AS LONG AS YOU GET THE MESSAGE............ XOXO

KEEPING MOTIVATED AMONGST........

all of the situations that life puts in front of you.

How do we keep motivated? Do you have someone motivating you, everyday, out of your funk your work complaints, your personal complaints, just regular complaints that come with daily living?

You are lucky, if you do! Count that person, as a blessing.

Everyone gets in a funk, and life has little "gifts" for whatever reason it unveils to each and every one of us.

Why "this", for me, and not that "this" for you? It is so indentifiable, in moments, and then, totally baffling, in others.

Maybe we just need to see it for what it is, take the steps we need to fix, or take care of, and then call it a day.

Next day, see what life reveals.

Maybe it won't be so bad the next day, or trying, or hard. Maybe we just need a fresh head, fresh brain, to get our mojo back, "I dunno, wadyou think?

There is always a way to get out of our funk, sometimes it just takes a little bit of this and a little bit of that...............

Me? I'm wondering what that little bit of this and that is going to equal tomorrow? I guess I don't really need to know, since it is way far from this moment, right? Why worry? A lot could happen from now till then.

How about you?

How about we just stay in the moment, count the stars in the sky, and leave it up to God to fill us in on the rest?

I think that is a plan, not a cop out. A true plan.

I'm all for it.

Those who join me, raise their hands?!

Let me play my teacher role out. I haven't gotten to do that yet, in this life, haha.

Like my sister would do when we shared a room together, when we were little.

I would want to go to my room and then I would peak in there, and she would be "teaching a class", and using our closet door as the "chalkboard", and her hairbrush as the stick to point out who she wanted in the class to answer what question.

I always tease her now, and say,"Paul?" Can you answer that? And I pretend to be her, looking into the classroom, pretending there is a class full of kids.

Wow, what a hoot. How funny! Well, that just got me to a place of good. I can see her now, doing that and laugh my butttttttttttttt off! She was so cool, so funny and woa, an intense kid, but that is another story to be told, if she doens't get mad at me for revealing such stories.

We are all funny characters, aren't we? I know I am, and I hope to always laugh at myself. And if I don't, can you all please, remind me of something funny, to bring me back to real life?

I don't want to take anything too serious. This is not what life was meant to be.

I know we all have stuff, and it is sad, it is joy, it is hardship, it is all kinds of stuff. But let's all be there for one another to keep us good, and REAL, not hiding under some rug, or behind some curtain.

Let's show ourselves, our raw, real selves, and trust that someone, SOMEONE out there, will be genuine enough, to respond to our pure ways, and join in on the REAL party.

I am not one to think that ALL LIFE is jaded. I do think, for the most part, that life IS, jaded, and that is just factual, not pessemistic. Or as my fellow co-worker would call it, being an "naysayer".

I am not a negetive person, just a realist. Taking real life and digesting it fully, and accepting it, and then moving on, in accordance.

Well said.

I'm happy.

Are you?

Thanks for always listening.

I'm thankful for all of you, and the smile that you bring to my face.

It makes my days and nights become something different, and beautiful.

All my love to you,

Gabriela

I AM SO IN LOVE

Easy does it........... I'm not THAT easy!

C'mon, ya'll should know me by now! I don't think those words have made it to my blog YET.

In love!

Those words are very hard to come by. But if I share it from the context of what I am about to share with you, then, you will notice, from my blog, what IN LOVE, means to me, and has always meant to me, at least first and foremost. Anything after that has either been icing on the cake, or a great thought, maybe, even a fantasy in my head, and then it didn't meet up to what I had thought, naturally. A huge blog, right there, but we will save that for another time. Remind me, it's a good one!

I don't know, I may be starting to sound like the proverbial "hippie" or the peace/love child these days, or more even, but my truths, really, are my truths, and I just say it like I feel it, and then, people can do what they may with it. Like it, or not like it, throw it away, roll their eyes, and say,"Oh, that's Gabby." She and her Patchouli! OK, so deem me a hippie, love child.
I'M ALL OVER IT! You wanna deem me somethin? Go ahead and deem me that! I'll be a proud woman.

So, why, is Gabriela in love? And with whom? And how, all of a sudden?

Well, let me tell you..........4 score and................. about 38 years ago, I was laying on our lawn, in the front yard, at out house in New Jersey. I was sprawled out, legs and arms wide open, and just fixated on the clouds in the sky.

I layed there, breathless, and truly.......... I remember being baffled by the mystery of those clouds. It was quiet, like tonight, little bugs making their noises, and sounds from nature that, I still wonder, what the heck they were, and man..............just exquisite quietude. Really.........at that young age, I was, where I am, exactly tonight..........so frigin in awe of the silence, the enormity of what is offered to us, the amazing beauty, the sounds, the whole kitten caboodle!!

I used to stare at the clouds for so long that I wanted to find pictures in them, just to stay a bit longer. I asked the same questions to myself, out loud, as I do now, when I look up, and there it is, that big ol' sky, that consistent sky that shows me gorgeousness, even if it isn't the same picture in the sky every night.........I like change, and consistency. If they can make it in the same room, and get along, there is a winner there.

Such is the sky!

I come home and have made it a plan to take 30 minutes to myself, or more, lately more, to just sit, come down off of my day, and do nothing, even if there are a million and one things to do. I go outside, and sit out on the deck, and check it all out. The sky, the trees, the birds, the goats, the lake, my life, my body, where IT is at, my centeredness, if it is, or if it's not, I mean I get down to the details of what my body even wants, whether IT feels acid or alkaline......and move from there. Don't laugh.... it works, if you are on that page, and actually WANT IT to work for you.

Ahh, that is just me, and my fascination for the body and how it is all integrated, but nonetheless, I check everything out. Does that make me a saint or "sinner?" NAAAAAA! Just mildly aware, and hoping for more of that awareness thing along the way.

I came home and did my little nap thing, which wasn't really, a nap. It's more like a relaxed introspective time. I had my CD on. Piano concerto, and a symphony that would blow your whole idea out of the water of what "symphony" actually means.

I layed there as if someone had given me a nice feeling drug.

When there is that connection, to something else, rather than "me", it IS, as if, I have been drugged, and have been floating in this reality of good, of love, and of comfort, ease, and no worry.

Not only that, I layed there, and as I turned my head, my focus turned toward a huge pot of flowers I had just planted, and they were there, and the backdrop, the lake, and a few sailboats, and the ripples of the water, and my consciousness just soaked it up like a sponge, and emptied itself into a place of, what I think, reality, truly is!! ( did I put an explanation point there?)

Good, cuz it warrants many!

The flowers were flickering in the wind, the music was euphoric, and any kind of worry or anything, really, that I had been thinking of, was completely gone, and I was transported to a place that I AM SO IN LOVE with.

Sorry, it wasn't about any ONE. It could heighten by a thousand, if a someone was there, actually getting it............. without words, without anything to say, and maybe never even talked about, but inside, no question.............

The music, the scene, me, and no wants, just love, if you want to deem it that, happening, and me, experiencing what I call.........LIFE!

It is hard to imagine, at this moment, to go back to any kind of life, with someone, who DID NOT GET that way of being.

I would rather be alone, forever, than to experience an emptiness, that did not compliment, or share something that was so inherant, with someone.

I am picky these days.

Who knows, you might have to be wearing Musk Oil, with feathers on your headband.............. whatever it takes............just find that place inside. If you have no interest, I say what a good friend of mine says who works on Wall Street............"NO BOND BABY, NO BOND!"

Go find a feather, or a star, or some ray of sunshine that will build your character, and make you some pretty darn good friends, as well.

I'm not gonna say it, but................. you'll know it.............

All my love,
Patchouli an' all............

Gabriela

LET'S TALK ORGANIC!

Now don't narrow that down to vegetables, although there is a lot to say there.
That is what precipitated these thoughts, but as I ran through the process, of course, it took on a life of it's own.

I remember when I first moved to Austin. It was a shock to me, after living in New Mexico, where I think my heart does rest, but anyway, when I first moved to Austin, I didn't have a job, and so I always do what I know, if I need to get to gettin, if ya know what I mean.

I opened a cleaning business, and there we have it, money, clientele, and moving forward, again, after a huge move. Survival always kicks in, and I do know, I will always make it. If I have my hands available, and my feet, of course, I can do anything. I can even make things up, if need be, creative stuff, where people are saying, "Oh, yeah, I need that service", and I say, No problem. I guess I just use what I have at any given time, and if it works it works.

I gathered a clientele, and one of my main customers was a family. Husband, wife, and two kids. Lived in a nice area, just wanted every Friday cleaning, and that's it really.
They were so cool.

The husband was so layed back, very male, AND female energy, and so personable. He had a heart of gold. Loved his wife and kids.

The wife, very, very........did I say, VERY COOL, was a stay at home mom, that did her writing from home.

If I get too detailed I will be here forever, but let me just skim on some things.

They both were sort of hippies in the 60's. Why do I love them? Hmmm?? They both meditated, had a spiritual teacher, and practiced a lot of things that the every day norm, wouldn't.

I related to them so much at the time.

I, at the time, had a spiritual teacher, and everything they talked about, I related to. One difference. At the time, I thought I knew something that they didn't, since my experience at the time seemed to be way out of the norm, and so high on the evolution scale. We never really got into the detail and gore of it all, but what we did skim with each other, made me fall in love with them. Not because they had a teacher, but because they were real, in front of me, practicing, and, also, staying true to what they thought was real, and true, outside of what they were "taught".

For God's sake, I saw them eating avocado's and thought, OH MY GOD THAT IS TOO MUCH OIL FOR THE BODY TO TAKE. How ever will they be able to meditate if they are coughing so much from not being able to digest this concentrated oil? And Linda would say,"But it is good oil", and oh, this is such a long story, but in my own way, I thought, oil is not good for you, and therefore, would get in the way of any meditation to move through you.

Don't laugh! When you check out the affects on the body, and how it has repercussions on the body, you may not think I am a crazy woman.

Anyway, every Friday, I'd go over there, and it was AWESOME!!

It took me 4 hours to clean the house, but while I was cleaning, Linda and I chatted about life, love, spirituality, kids, anything, you name it!

I looked at her as the total inspiration. Why?

She was real!

She somehow made it to stay at home, to write for a living. In the meantime, she took care of her kids, and also, had a huge love for her dog, I forget his name now, and also, she would go out into her garden, pick fresh herbs, tend to her garden, and just revel in what she loved. She loved fresh veggies, herbs, fresh everything. She loved to cook. I'd always love cleaning the kitchen because there would always be fresh jalapenos in a bowl with fresh tomatoes, fresh tomatillo's, and almonds would always be soaking on the counter. Sprouted almonds. They do digest better.

I used to make fresh almond milk everyday when I lived in New Mexico, because I am allergic, really to so many things, so me, and a special friend, would always concoct anything with almonds. Gotta love it!

So, on with my special friends.

Not only was the environment conducive, I really, never wanted to leave. They became sort of parents to me, friends, and confidants. I worked there for years.

At the time, I was living a very constricted life, spiritually, and I really didn't do much outside of that spiritual community, but that one day, that special Friday, made my week come together, for so many reasons, too much for one blog.

I thought of Linda today, as I had the day off. My favorite things to do, seemed to be the things that I saw her do. She would sit at her computer and write. And sometimes she would come home from Central Market with bags of great stuff. Maybe seems nothing to you, but to me, or us, is important. Organic vegetables, fresh herbs, just great vegetables........I laugh to myself, and all of the other cool products she would buy, with great awareness, and a consciousness that supersedes the norm.

She will probably read this and think, "Oh, you're too much", or something, but really, she is an amazing woman, and her husband too.

Ooh, I forgot this part.

We had a connection as well, and so dear is he to my heart.

John.

I would come to clean, and he would be playing the piano. Mind you, piano music is my favorite of all favorite. As a matter of fact, John Boswell is playing in my house right now. If I want to get good, and be neutral and consistent, I put on my piano music and all will be well, even if there is a disaster happening.

Such is the story with going over to the D......'s.

I would walk in and there would be John, eloquently playing the piano, and I would beg him to keep playing, at least until I finished cleaning. (that would be 4 hours and I think he tried, but that is a long time).

So, with the piano playing, talking to them together, and individually, it really became a great part of my evolution, as a soul, in contact with some supreme beings. People that really got it, but kept it real without sounding, or being all spiritual and esoteric. I, actually was the one, at the time, that felt, and sounded so immersed in a reality that was great, but removed, and not so integrated.

At the time, I thought they weren't integrated, that they maybe had compromised after living a spiritual life, then they had kids.

To me, at the time, that was sheer blasphemy! Kids? Spirituality? The two don't mix. And although they would share so many beautiful things, I still, thought that my way was the way.

Such is for a whole other topic on disillusion. What an ass!

I have grown since then, miles upon miles.

The point of this is............

Today, I had a million and one things to do. My day took a turn and I wound up doing everything I wasn't going to do, and wound up loving life immensely!

I am not surprised, mind you.

And, for those of you who read this blog, you will not be surprised if you follow what I love and what I don't love.

It's nothing complex. It's simple stuff.

I gardened, one of my top favorite things to do. I gave baths to 4 dogs, I cooked, I listened to exquisite piano music that churned my soul, I ate organically, cooked in such joy and love, and the rest of the day was silent, listening to the crickets, the animals outdoors, and the rocks beneath my feet.

I was in awe of the clouds today. White with an outline of orange. Really defined.

The air, was hot, but damn.............. I can sit out my deck and revel in the sky, the flowers and the brush beneath me. Not THAT hot, I guess!

It's quiet. Life is happening. On so many levels, but then, I access the situation, and say,"How many levels?"

Not many. Really, just one. With different perspectives.

Life is a series of real events.

Like Linda and John.

They are living as real as they feel.

To me? They've done good. They have experienced life in all facets. The good, the bad, the ugly, and then the sheer gratitude.

Their kids are wonderful, beautiful, and so are they!

Their values are good. They don't set standards that will set themselves up for failure, at least to my knowledge..............and they set out to do good, pure things, for themselves, their kids, and the world, in their way.

I love those souls. It has been a very long time since I have seen them. I used to call Linda on Mothers day and email in moments of thought, and I still see her everyday on my AOL instant messenger, and smile every time I see her.

Her purity and genuineness, resides inside of me, and is what I call, connected to humaneness, and acknowledging that beauty in someone, as yourself.

She and her family are a true gift to this life and to me.

Sometimes people plunge on in their own trek in life, just forging forward in how they think they need to go, and I am not sure that some people know, just how they affect others.

They shrug it off, and go, "Oh , no, not me.........I"m just me!" You must be talking about someone else". And the reality is? We ARE talking about THEM!

I think that if you truly are pure in your intentions, you don't look for accolades, and if they happen to come your way, you or I, act as if it isn't relevant, but...... it is. Good to stay humble, but to acknowledge an exchange of goodness that might be happening in your world.

Thank you Linda and John, for being catalysts for my evolution.

Seriously, I know you will be shocked, maybe surprised, but I think at the time, and sometime after, I have always expressed the extreme amount of influence you have had on my life, and in all of your sweetness, and humbleness, you have disregarded just how influential you truly are, on my life, as well as many others who have encountered your purity in spirit.

I thank you for your influence in my life and still, as tonight, I open up the Herb book that you bought for me for one of my birthdays, and I think, WOW, some of my closest friends, NOW, would not know to get me that gift.

YOU GUYS.... ARE THE GIFT, TO ME, NOW AND ALWAYS.

And to everyone............ recognize ORGANIC BEHAVIOUR, ORGANIC RELATION, AND ORGANIC CONNECTIONS.

Everything else, pales in comparison.

Goodnight sweet souls.

G

JUST WHEN YOU THINK.........

you have got stuff............ something may just happen, and you realize, your stuff ain't nuthin.

Today, as I was working with some pretty special ladies, we had "talked" about some subjects that woke me up to a reality that I may have been missing out on for awhile.

I say 'talked" because it just so happens that these special ladies that I adore, are Mexican, and don't really speak that much English, and, in turn, I no speakie Espanol. So, street sign language comes in handy, and a good laugh or two, on both of our ends, make it as if all was understood. It's funny that way.

As we were chopping vegetables, I asked one woman how old her daughter was. She said 15, and proceeded to show me a folder of her prom picture, I am guessing it was. She was stunning! So incredibly beautiful, and looking at the person who I joke with everyday, hug and have such a kinship with, that little relating took on a whole new meaning, once I saw her daughter, for some odd reason.

I always ask her questions, because I am genuinely interested, and I adore her. She is a kindred spirit.

So, I asked if she had enjoyed watching her daughter get dressed for the prom, as I remember my Mom, so totally excited, helping me with my hair, making sure my dress was "Oh so perfect", and took pictures of me and the love of my life, at the time. I mean, God, it was a whole huge event, memorable personified, not even because of him, but my experience with my Mom. It was and always will be top notch in the memorabilia section of my life.

Anyway, after 20 minutes of me trying to ask my question in my American way, I finally got the point across. She then turned to me and said, "Gabriela, she is in Mexico". I have not seen her since she was 6. And in an instant, I welled up, and just stared at her. And the only thing that came out of my mouth was........NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO !!!!! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!

She looked at me and said, "Yes, Gabby, this is baby Magali. My little girl. I tried to ask why, and I think she said that she didn't want to come to Austin, but really, it didn't matter. What mattered is that this woman, who I love, her heart and soul, so good, so......I don't know, just good.......... you know it when you know it..........and what mattered is that she was not with her daughter. And, not just her, but her husband as well.

I don't need to know the details, and maybe I can assume, but again, it doesn't really matter. She is not with the love of HER life, her own flesh and blood! My heart aches in that knowing.

Ya know, I go to work everyday, and of course, in my head, is what goes through every ones head, as they mill about and in their day, is their own stuff. Whatever that may be. Every one's story is different, and they are all valid stories.

But today, especially, when I had gone into work, I had my own set of things going on in my head, my own story line, and as the day unfolded, and this event happened, it affected my entire day and night, for so many reasons.

Magali smiles every single day, she does not complain, she is a hard, hard worker, she is smart, quick witted, enjoyable, and so many other adjectives, if I had all night to tell. When her time to leave is up, she goes, with a smile. She makes me laugh, and gives me an innocent feeling that you can't take away. And..........she is without her child that she so loves.

Who am I to complain about anything? I can only imagine, as all of you with children can too, what it would be like to be without your own flesh and blood, watch them grow, through pictures, and not be able to touch, to feel, to kiss, to embrace, to teach, to help understand life, to mother, to guide, to do what she innately knows best, and not be able to.

It struck my heart to the core.

I always say to my friends, "I couldn't bare to have a child". God forbid anything were to happen, and not even that, just the emotion that is attached to a human being, and that being something that grew inside of you, is a bit overwhelming to me.

I understand my mother, more and more, as time goes by. She was right, about so many things.

A mother will always be........a mother!

And, YOU WILL NEVER GET ANOTHER MOM.

So........ take a good look at what you have. Sons, daughter, moms, dads, brothers, sisters.......... you will never get another set of them.

Stay close to your children. Open up, communicate, and tell them you love them every chance you get. They will remember that more than any present, piece of candy, or movie you take them to.

Stay close........... it is a once in a lifetime opportunity. Utilize it.

You are the lucky ones that get to share the same house, go play, hang out, read stories, go shopping.

Some people don't have that luxury, and those "some people" are right under your nose, under the same roof......................

This little blog is for Magali. Even though she will never read it............ I listened today, and you changed me.

May you always be watched over, and by the grace of God, be able to reunite with your beautiful, beautiful daughter, once again.

Love,
Gabriela

LAUGHING BEHIND THE SCENES

If you can possibly run for cover, within your own life, go back stage and take a peek at what is happening on stage, you will be astounded!! WOW, look at you, believing you are your character. Now THAT is a good actor........ but guess what?? When the show is over, the show is over. You are done! Thanks for coming everyone, I'm going home now to "me".

Sitting behind the scenes is a luxury. To be able to recognize your character playing a role, and stay in that realization is a huge triumph!! You sit there, check yourself out, you laugh at things that your character is taking so seriously, you have compassion for the happenings or occurrences that play out for that character, and you see it from a whole different perspective.

To be able to access that objective standpoint takes diligence and a willingness to move from a place of believing you are your character, to recognizing there is, in fact, a character, but you are NOT THAT CHARACTER.

Stay behind the scenes. Pull the curtain back a bit, and check your life out that is playing on Stage #2.

See how serious you are? See how believable that character is? Wow! Not bad huh? What a show!

Wow, look at her. Look what that character is going through. I have so much compassion for her. I am not watching the play saying, "God, how messed up she is", How pathetic"!!

Well, the truth is, we do! I do. I forget that it is a play, and I judge myself for where I may be or what has happened in my life, and out from the curtain I come, and back on stage I go, believing that the play is real life.

It's not folks. It's just not!

What will it take to get us to remember what is real, and what is not?

I know that I always want to have compassion for everyone else, why not for my own trek in this life? Why does it come so easy to give to others, have compassion for others, love, time, all sorts of things, but when it comes to us, all of a sudden, we have amnesia? Compassion? Can you define that?

Why is that?

I work on myself a lot, at least I do what I can to figure the ins and outs of my own personal life, to get good, to get clear, and to come to the full present moment with an understanding of how things were, how they are now, and let the two meet up somehow, to be in unison. But, that is just me, I wanna know the whys and how's of everything. I could be a channel flipper, but instead I head to Spicewood to my nearest couch, for an hour or so. I could make a part time, or yet, even a full time job of it. Once a week is a mere tease, literally! If you have a burning desire to know something, you better go get a good paying job, or a sugar daddy to pay for your newest addiction to knowing yourself.

By all means, you don't NEED a therapist, but god, don't put it in the box of, "I am not a psycho", I'm not going to a THERAPIST. It's sooooo old school. Wake up already. I'm not saying they're Gods, but give credit where credit is due, and stop the judgements. As Mom always said, "Don't knock it till you've tried it". I use that saying very prominently in my life , trust me!

I happen to love it. but, again, this is my passion. To know and understand myself and life.

No college degree is going to give you the answers, and ........neither is your therapist, but they sure can be a great catalyst to push you to the edge, for you to discover and figure things out, on your own, in a way that your brain would no more entertain on a rainy afternoon. Again, where is the remote?

I'll take the challenge, and for go the remote. My brain is already distracted. Isn't yours?

This is not easy, and sometimes truly exhausting, but, in the long run, I may have greys, but I'm free of disease, ya know what I mean?

Think about it!

So, do we really get to laugh in all of this?

Such is why I wrote about this tonight.

I had a moment, briefly, "behind the scenes" while I was cooking my dinner, and I laughed my little butt off. Not just for a second, but I was busting up. Then, I was laughing that I was by myself...........laughing........at my own story, my own life, and how it is playing out. I laughed so hard my dogs were looking to see if there was a second party in the house.

Uhh..........nope, sorry guys, just mom............. realizing that all of this crap IS HILARIOUS! Every last inch of it. (at least in this moment) I do say, go moment to moment, because I do know that in all of our humanness, we believe, we don't believe, we fall, we get up, we sing and dance, we cry and whale............ the pendulum will always swing. If I can do some small part to even that swing out, and not come crashing down, I think all will be well.

As long as I can have a laugh or two (or three or four), I will always be good to go for this ride called LIFE.

Go peek behind the curtain. Check yourself out. Be kind to yourself, now, or if it was 30 years ago. Be present with your past, enough to see how it reflects you NOW. It matters, even if you think it doesn't.

I am. Gently, slowly, and with a new found compassion that will change me forever.

And, in my changing, I can help change things around me, in magnificent ways. I just need to remember to be patient. And...........you too! It's all there........it's all here..........dig in the grab bag and look at the prize. It's probably exactly what you've been asking for.

Love surfaces in the most unusual nooks and crannies.

Be on the look out!

I love you more than words can say.

Gabriela

NO MATTER WHAT THE HYPE...DON'T LISTEN!

I am sitting out on my deck. It's a gorgeous night. I'm all comfy and cozy in my lounge chair. The wind is blowin', my kitty is rubbin all over my leg, all happy that I am here, my pups are panting in the breeze. It's a cool picture, especially with the flowers next to my dogs face. Where is my camera when I need it?

I was sitting here, hangin out, and I had an itch on my leg, and so, I go and rub it and scratch it, and a thought came to me as I was rubbing my leg. Now, mind you, this thought probably wouldn't come to me if I were at work or something, busy as all get out, scurrying along, but since it is so nice out, I'm relaxed, the animals are content, and the scenery couldn't get any better......I think, of course, my environment makes or breaks my reality.

So, in that, I sit here, with the realization, in a tiny second, that women, these days, have no idea how incredibly beautiful their bodies are. All the hype that you need to be this thin, and on that diet, and no carbs, and doing this flush and that flush, grapefruit diet, cleanse after cleanse, salad, salad, and more salad.......no pasta.......... (did someone say, "No Pasta") EGADS! What is a woman to do? At least an Italian woman anyway! Gotta have the pasta and clams, that's all I know!

Anyway, as I sat here, and I was rubbing a sort of "pocket" on my upper leg, just naturally, and I thought to myself, "this is sexy".............not me, of course, but curves, women, their bodies, their natural make up of being a woman. And it bothers me to no end, that everyone thinks their frigin fat!!!! What the hey??? I get it, I understand it...........for god's sake, I was a personal trainer, I know fat when I see it, but the reality is.............WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOO CAREEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSS????? Acknowledge your gift of a beautiful form. Please, I really ask you.

Are you healthy inside? I mean check out your cholesterol, your stinkin triglycerides, and whatever else is on the basic list of.....AM I HEALTHY...........and call it a day!

Enjoy your pasta and wine! Quit thinking that you have to starve yourself, when you know damn well you want that Buccatini Carbanara. Hell, I do!!! Ain't no one stoppin' me. I know my limits. I gained 10 pounds in Italy, but who cares?! I had the best damn time of my life........ squeezing into my jeans an' all. I got home and took care of it. A challenge! Good for me. Get me goin, get some motivation goin. Challenge yourself guys!

Know your limits and then you don't have to be on any diet. God, people are so diligent when it comes to their checkbooks, being on time for work, getting things done for deadlines, making tons of money for someone, making that their priority....... that ain't no easy sneeze.....I'll take the salad and tuna please......but when it comes to eating? Drinking? It's like they jumped off the Titanic and forgot to throw the tube out!
Throw the tube out silly ass!

Go eat pasta, have wine.......and the next day, find your tube, float on it, and eat sensibly. You got your cheat........now chill.........and have some chicken and veggies, it ain't gonna kill ya. Throw a spice or two on there, some good dressing and your guilt about the pasta and wine will be gone sooner than you think.

Women.......girls............ ladies.............. moms................. please do me a favor............. even if you don't know me, which a ton of you don't............ but I see that you trust me..............

PLEASE TRUST ME ON THIS ONE!

Please have fun with your life. Don't make eating and drinking such a drudgery! Food and drink is the passion of life!! "Eat, drink and be merry", is what I say.

Yes, be fit, inside and out, as you will, but don't go crazy with the, "I cant's," no carbs, no this and no that. That is not life! Unless, of course you have some big work to do, like losing 100 pounds, then, I might tell you something different, for the first several months, but then, we'd talk.

Be sensible, have fun!!!!! Find a balance so you don't have to diet.

This is silly, but this is what I do. Just say, I have a dinner date and we are going to go out to have Sushi. Well, hello......lets eat rice for dinner, right? So, I know that in the earlier part of the day, I ain't gonna be eatin no stinkin rice or pasta cuz most of my dinner will be rice and fish. No veggies in Japan I guess, unless you like the Ocean taste of Arame, or Hijiki, (seaweed), which I do, but they are not considered a "green" in that good ol' standard food pyramid, which, I will debate to no end, but this isn't politics or a debate session, at least in this particular nights blog. ( I do laugh at myself, quite often, ya know).

Now the tortillas, chips and queso every night is a different thing. My favorite, but lethal, nonetheless.

So, the point is........relax, enjoy your nights of indulgences, but get a scale going in your head of what you had, when, and do a juggling act. Real simple, no biggie. I had a bagel for breakfast. OH MY GOD, A CARB! No biggie, so for lunch, I eat a salad and some protein. You did good, now maybe for dinner, you'll have a bit of both, a carb and protein AND a veggie. See how hard that was?

Bodies are made to love, adorn, cherish, in all sizes, shapes and forms. Don't let anyone tell you you are fat! You do the math in your head. If you feel uncomfortable, than THAT is what you listen to, and you move in the direction that you need to. Your intuition always tells you where you need to go. If you need help, you find someone that you trust and are comfortable with to guide you along with trust, support and love. NO judgements. You hear me? If there is a trace of a judgement, get outa dodge. Find someone else, please!

Women's bodies are unique, beautiful, and meant to have some cushion. You don't see women in the 1940's, who I think are fantabulous, looking like a sea horse for god's sake. They actually have butts, and curves, and they are round and voluptuous. Rock on, is what I say. They are gorrrggeeeouuusss!

Now, if you gotta man hangin around, good luck, cuz you'll never be skinny enough! That is a whole other blog, in and of itself. Not saying ALL MEN, but I've hung out with enough to get the picture.........you don't have to be the chick on the cover of Maxim Mag, OK? Cheap, cheap, and cheap! Don't buy into it! Again..PLEASE!

Look in the mirror. Acknowledge the beauty in your curves, the extra weight that you hate, and the marks, the NATURAL, NATURAL, NATURAL........... ( I said natural, right?) Just want to make sure I get the point across. The natural marks. Whatever, call it cellulite, it's just skin that has matured. For god's sake, we are as natural as the plants outside. We get water, we get sun, so we grow, right? No difference there! Noooooooooooo difference! And, I'm not even talking about pregnancy or hysterectomies. More blogs to be had. It would be crazy if we didn't stretch, or grow, and for the women who try to save their 20 year old bodies, go right ahead, I'm exhausted thinkin about it! I'll take my grey's and cellulite.

Balance it all out, and have fun.

It's like Sharon Stone said when she had her near death experience. They interviewed her and said, "What was the main thing that you saw, or that you learned?" And she said, "It was so intense, and as I was at the cornerstone of life and death, I finally got it............. (the interviewer was all hyped up and wondering what gem she was going to share, after all, THIS WAS SHARON STONE.

She said, "What I learned is, TO JUST EAT THE FUCKING FRENCH FRY".

Excuse my language, it was a quote, (much to my liking, of course).

So there it is....just eat the damn french fry and be done with it, go to bed happy, and when the next day comes, you'll have a new decision to make. Whatever that may be.

Simple.

Me? I'm going to cook up some good ol' pork chops that I never, ever eat, and have fun in the kitchen with crazy food that is hangin out in my frig and cabinets.

It's a great night to eat and do whatever.

Movies, chocolate, wine, popcorn, whatever I want.

Why? Cuz I ate egg whites and vegies for breakfast. heee

But, really, I did.

Love you all........ you beautiful women with curves.

Blow it out, have fun and lemme know about it.

Ce'la vie.....we only live once ya know.

I know you know that, I'm just reminding you.

Love to you all my fantastic women friends.........you are, by far, more fantastic than you realize. I'll always be there to remind you of that!

Enjoy your wine, or chocolate, or whatever you may choose tonight. Eat it with great PASSION.

Love you more than ever.

Gabriela

YOU

ARE NOT

ALONE!

~

EVERYTHING REALLY DOES WORK OUT

I am sitting here, in my sweet little dining room, looking out onto the lake, looking around at my dogs, my beautiful home, and all the touches that make my home, feel .....a ......home.....to me... and .......given all of my personal experiences recently, you would have to say.........HOW THE HELL DID YOU...GABRIELA?

EVERY THING WORKS OUT.

It may get scary, it may get hairy, it may take you to the moon and back, to figure out, to conjure up the how's, the whys, and all that needs to be looked at, to be able to get it all, to trust that you really WILL be taken care of, and that it all is just a process of doing some stuff for yourself.

Really, at some point you hafta look at why things are happening right? I mean, you don't have to, but I think it would be wise to check it out. You certainly can't blame him or her, or any other circumstance. It can be valid, trust me, there ARE valid situations that tell you, HAY, YOU ARE ENTITLED TO FEEL THIS WAY OR THAT WAY, but at some point you put that crutch down, and say,"OK, what do I need to do to get out of this mess?"

I have never experienced such a marching forward, plunging into the great big abyss, that has no answer, no comfort, no assurance whatsoever.

How about you?

There aren't many people to support your trek. And, if you do, you are a very lucky person, that you have someone to support you, that has no attachments, that will stand by your side, with no expectations, no wants, no needs, no nothin.

Call me if you have a spare.

Nonetheless, in all of life's color and flames, EVERYTHING REALLY DOES WORK OUT.

It doesn't mean that it will be easy, or that you won't feel sad, or depressed, or feel like you have failed in some way, or maybe ran short of a few things...........it doesn't matter.

The great thing is, is that there is NO WRONG in this game. Not by my rules anyway. (oh my god, I said I had a rule!!) There WILL be a few people laughing at that statement, I can hear them now). Easy guys.

There is no wrong because however we choose to handle things, we certainly will be given the opportunity to make it work, or mend something, or heal something, or forgive, or let go, or surrender, whichever best suits you.

It is never what it seems. I tell you that from my heart.

Even in the midst of some heavy stuff, I claim my part. Hay, I take responsibility for this, but THIS OVER HERE? I will not.

Learn, to discern.

Take hold of your stuff, and claim what is YOURS.

It's not a big deal. Just claim it, and move on, with a greater awareness. It is such a cool, cool way to live, so long as you can discern, and genuinely trace what IS YOURS.

No matter what your situation, IT WILL WORK OUT GUYS. I HOLD A HARD CORE PROMISE ON THAT ONE.

I am not much of a gambler, but I will gamble that statement for each and every one of you, that it will, truly will, ALWAYS, work out for you.

Someone out there really does watch out for you.

Cozy up to the name you want it to be, God, the Universe, The Source, any which name that makes you feel at home, that is what I want you to call it. As long as you feel safe, assured, and comfortable in your skin, with what you have named, what you have "labeled" your own decision, as to what makes you feel happy. I am there with you, to support that.

I'm looking around again, and silently saying THANK YOU. Thank you for allowing me the space in this vortex of freedom.

Thank you for the freedom of speech, the freedom to go and come as I please, and for the knowing that everything works out because we are loved.

Yes, we are loved by so many, seen, and unseen.

We will never go unnoticed, and never skipped over.

There is too, too much to talk about on this subject. I'd better leave you with this for now, otherwise we'd both get overwhelmed by the mere thought of "just being".

How funny, and silly. "I am overwhelmed by being".

Are we crazy? Have we just not gotten it yet?

Man, I am a student............. a big huge student that doesn't know diddly squat.

I hope to remain open to new suggestions, new ways, and always, always, an open heart that will embrace, any and all things.

If that happens, I"m smooth sailin.

My heart is huge and shares it with you all tonight.

I wish my hugs could reach you all at the same time.

Goodnight and God bless.

I love you.

Gabriela

TONIGHT.......

I went on some very, very long walks with my dogs.

Sounds very simple, and maybe even boring. "She took her dogs out", yuk, it was hot, what a chore....... who knows.

After work, I truly cannot wait to get home to these guys. I become such a little kid, and, the kid, adult, that I am, I rush home and smother them in so much love, they probably might be saying something in dog language about their mom, like we did, as kids, when our mom bragged about us, or drooled over how cute we were....it's the same thing. I laugh to myself a lot.

I took each dog, one by one, on a little trek. I cannot tell you what that trek does for me, let alone, watching them, in their glory in the great outdoors.

Tonight, if any of you were outside, I hope to god that you noticed the gazillion stars that were out. It is in those moments that I say, "Why do I even question anything?". There are so many mysteries, so many wonderment's, so many things, about life, and our existence here, that you wonder how the hell we can even have anything to say about anything.

Truly, you look up, like tonight, and you ponder all sorts of thoughts, and you look at that mystical sky, and you truly wonder, what the hell is actually happening here?

I intended to take only one dog tonight, but I was so mesmerized by the sky and what it had to offer, I took all four, and paced the decadent streets with a fervor that, even I, have to question in the morning.

So many thoughts about this amazing life, the little things, like watching a goat eat grass, my dog peeking around the corner because he sees a little fawn in the bush, and the crush he has for the next 10 minutes, the multitude of stars that speak a language I actually get, the lowering of the sun onto my deck, to let me know, it is the end of one more day............just stuff, but important, great, stuff that keeps you alive.

I couldn't keep my eyes off the stars, and how it keeps you in perpetual state of awe.

It's important time for me, to check everything out, see how it is all going, and if there needs to be any changes, or something needs to get balanced, or I need a bit of this, or a bit of that.............it's perfecting the stew, ya know? Taste it...... roll it around on your tongue, and see what it is that you need to make that stew kick ass! (language.....remember.........NJ..... OK, gimme some room. xoxo

When is the last time you actually went for a walk by yourself? Do you? Can you?

Or, why don't you?

Shut the neighborhood down man............ get acquainted, get good with people and chalk this whole thing, called life, up, chalk it up as your life homework............ let go, grab a hold of THE NOW, and if you don't look at those damn stars tonight, I will personally grab a hold of you and shake you.

DON'T POSTPONE WHAT CAN BE MAGNIFICENT RIGHT NOW, FOR SOMETHING LATER. THE GRASS REALLY ISN'T GREENER, its just trust me on that one.

Love
Who's your momma?

If we could sit and talk, I would
LIFE IS HAPPENING NOW.

PEACE, IN THE MIDST OF CHAOS.

PEACE.

It does not mean to be in a place where there is no noise, trouble or hard work. It means to be in the midst of those things and still be

CALM IN YOUR HEART.

~

ROCKIN AND ROLLIN WITH CHANGE

There is never a good formula for what it takes to mesh with change of any sort, especially if it isn't something you had planned on. Well, even if you did plan on it, nothing ever goes quite the way you had planned, and there is always SOME bump in the road that you will have to spontaneously deal with, so, I guess it all winds up working out to be the same, really. Give or take a few bumps.

You know the saying, "When it rains, it pours?" It happens! I raise my hand, I stand up, I pledge, I attest to, I ...........can go on and on, about change, and from every angle. Chosen, not chosen, bumps, bumps, and more bumps............. oh, and did I mention............bumps? Yea, cuz, change, has that middle name.

Hay, they could be good bumps too. It doesn't always have to be bad bumps. Bumps could simply mean there are a ton of things to "do" and they may be good, but they are A LOT of things, and could possibly be rendered, a bump. Could be pain in the butt, could be overwhelming, could be "not enough time for this", but you bare down anyway..........it is all sorts of things wrapped up into one.

I am learning that, I am in cess pool of change, that in all of it's disguises, are good........really good changes, and challenging, might I add, but good.......it stretches the soul, the imagination, the brain, and your courage to stay true to yourself in all of it.

I don't want to get hard. Hardened by the challenges that life brings. I want to embrace them, learn from them and move forward with a confidence that evokes pride and strength, and a soft heart, not someone who is all cozied up in a suit of steel armor. Not someone who has to constantly wear her boxing gloves to get from point A to point B. And if point A has me wearing boxing gloves, and then by the time I get to Z, I still have those same gloves on? I might want to check the status of my whereabouts, to see if I need a change of costume.

ROCK AND ROLL WITH CHANGE. Stay strong and go for what you love with pride and joy. You can buckle down and go with the flow, be soft, but be firm in your intentions, and..........don't let people tear you down. You know what your path is, you know what your heart is. It is up to you to keep yourself in alignment with who you are and where you want to go.

If you can't seem to get there at this moment, do what you can to stay true, stay connected, and never give up the ultimate plan that you are painting on your canvas. Paint it clear, and also, be present with what is in your life at the moment. It is there for a reason, embrace it, learn from it and take those lessons with you, because I am sure you will use them on your little journey, otherwise, I really don't think they would be there.

Take the plunge.

I believe in you.

Believe in yourself too, cuz when it comes down to it, you really are, your one and only, true best friend!

You have someone with you, on your side,
always,

G

~

REMAINING TRUE TO YOU

I know this is a wide scope, a whole huge area to cover, but within the lines, you can probably apply it to each and every category there is.

Where do you feel that you are compromising your TRUE SELF? Not adhering to exactly who you are?

Is it work? Is it your friendships? Is it in your personal relationships?

Are you not living by your own set of standards, and allowing others to set the tone for YOUR LIFE? What are your own standards? Really? What are they? Write them down for god's sake! It is not a silly thing to do. Sit and write down what your own personal standards are, and see what your life executes now, and see, if, in fact, they match up.

It is a constant process, something that you don't just do once. It is like gardening. You till the soil to make sure things are growing, and if not, you re-evaluate and see if you need some Miracle Grow, or you just need to find a new gardening device.

What is it that IS NOT IN ALIGNMENT?

Make a list. Go.........right now and get a pen and paper. I'm not goin' anywhere.

Find the goods. You'll be happy to see it all on paper, look at it, and go........"oh, what was I thinking?" I don't wanna be doing that? Here, I'll just change things up a bit.
And you may do that with your whole list, or maybe just 2. Either way, is not a good or a bad, it is just an alignment happening. Getting the "car" tuned up so it runs right sort of thing.

Check it out. It's a good thing, those tune ups. Let's us know if we're drivin' the right car or not.

Get in the drivers seat, and actually drive to where you want to go.

Yourself, is waiting, for yourself! Don't dissapoint.........your.........self!

Goodnight my friends.

You are my heart.

G

SAYING YES..........

.........sometimes when you feel like saying no, really works out in the wash.

How often do we get stuck in our routine, doing what we normally do? Sometimes it feels really good to just say, "OK, I am going to do this or that", and even if you are guilt ridden, thinking you need to be doing your regular thing, or that you need to be somewhere else, or really, anything else, other than what you are choosing to do, can be so freeing, so unbelievably freeing.

I came out of my little shell tonight. Said yes to a situation and I feel so humbled by my time spent doing something so simple with someone.

What I love about it is that there really wasn't anything happening. The night was beautiful, simple things were shared, and loving how it feels to be so nuetral, so calm in your being, and to be with someone else, in that energy is so releiving, so sweet, and so safe. I am so grateful for my short time spent tonight, with an incredible person who mirrors innocence in the way of, Hay, you are who you are, and I am, who I am, and it is all good, no other thought about it. And, you wind up going home, adoring the naturalness of that relating, and going...hmmmmm.......... where are the rest of the people in the world like this? It doesn't matter to me, as long as there is at least one........I'm good to go!

I am grateful for saying yes to so many things these days, even when I scream NOOOOOOOOO!

I have to decipher in those moments whether it is the little scared person that doesn't want to change, or the person who actually likes change, but has to get a grip, and taste it for a second, and then say....ok, we're good. Let's go!
Kind of like I am when I go to the Shore........... I wanna say Jersey Shore, cuz it fits, but any shore will do.......... you walk down to the edge of the water, say, "Oh, Shit, it's too cold", and you run your little butt back a few steps. But then you just go on, knowing it will be fine if you just do it, and get right on in there and jump in. After I do it, I am so fine, so ready to jump the next wave.

So it is with saying yes to things that immediately say no. If you step on over and just look the bull in the eye, you will see, that bull ain't so tough! And you forge forward. And......you make it to the other side.............and............safely.............. to boot!

Embrace the word YES! Say yes, even if you think NO. Always be a yes, and in your YES, you might objectively choose NO, but at least you said yes first and evaluated the situation.

In saying YES.............you leave all doors wide open, and leave your being subject to great change, and in great change, there is transformation............and in great transformation, there is a vulnerable soul that was willing..............

That is all there is ever needed................. to just be willing.

After that, the road of your evolution is ever changing, and you are never, ever the same.

THAT IS WHAT I AM TALKING ABOUT!

Goodnight my sweet friends......... you are a blessing to me...........every night............. really........every moment............ if it weren't for you, there would be no blog............ because each one I send this out to, has ignited my soul, and allowed me to dig a bit deeper into myself, to share the most intimate parts of myself, out loud, and be ok with it.

That, is amazing to me.

Thank you for being in my life!

I love you.

Gabriela

NO EDITING

Please don't edit who you are! To me, there are no exceptions, but then again, there are rules and regulations, everywhere you turn.

Be who you are! I know there is a place and time for everything, but, you should not have to edit who you are and what you believe in, for a rule.

There isn't much else to be said, after that sentence.

Think about it!

THE ART OF DOING NOTHING

OK, so I really do want to know who wrote that book, because I am sure they were left a grand sum of money by someone, that allowed them to soak in that bath tub for hours on end, night after night, and to make it to the beach everyday, lying there in the sand, twiddling their toes. What grandparent died, and how much did they leave ya, cuz my bathtub hasn't seen bubbles since the last time I had a wild champagne party.

Kidding.

Sounded good though.

All kidding aside, I do know what it is like to DO NOTHING and totally enjoy it, but I will tell you it is like fighting a wild tiger to finally get to DO NOTHING.

I am beginning to adhere to the saying, "money talks", because money bides time, or allows time, and really, gives you a ton of freedoms that you otherwise would not have, if it weren't for that almighty green piece of paper with ugly men on them. Where were the Mrs? How bout a together picture every once in awhile? Men, taking up the spot light again. Go figure! I'd probably save my dollars more if Mrs. Franklin made her way "out of the kitchen", ahem!!

How do families do it? Or should I say single moms or single dads? At least with a couple, they have shared duties and you split stuff up, but man oh, man, how does one have enough hours in the day to accomplish all that you desire, all that you plan for, and eat? Sitting down would be nice.

Unless you are Oprah and you stay up till 4 am reading the book you are promoting the next day.

I love doing the nothing that happens when you DO HAVE TOO MUCH TO DO, and you say, "what the hey" anyway, and you take the time to breathe and to inhale a new breath to actually get you through to the next thing you have on your list. I need those breaks.

It is such a balancing act to put all your cards out on your table, figure what you need, how your gonna get it, and start juggling.

I think to just stay currant on all of those things, putting it out there, and relaxing into a plan sounds meaty, something that works, without great strain, or setting yourself up for failure.

When you do give yourself permission to do nothing, it allows you to fill your empty cup, with new ideas, new inspiration, and a more objective perspective.

So, even in the times that we think we don't have time, I think that just may be the best time to do what seems unnatural in that moment, which is, to do............nothing!

Fill your cup guys. I'm going, doing, undoing, learning, unlearning, doing everything, and nothing.

Don't let the pendulum swing too far where it gives you a swift kick in the butt........... try to balance........ I have too many bruises from swinging on that pendulum......... I never was good at see/saw. I always wanted to go super high, but when it came time for me to just slightly touch bottom, I always came crashing down and probably distorted my tail bone or somethin'.
Easy does it. Up slow, down slow, and maybe every once in awhile, kick it in high gear near the middle just to shake things up a bit.

And in all of this, make it fun.......... cuz whether we are doing nothing or every thing under the sun, it would be nice to know, at the end of our journey, that we worked hard and laughed our asses off for all of those damn wrinkles.

REALLY, NO WORDS COULD EXPRESS

.........just how exquisite tonight is!

I mean, look, the time is 1:58 am. I am awake, so in awe of the full moon, the breeze that is needing attention, and how the day has gone so far, I really don't need anything else really........ I have food, and good food, of course....... Italian, don't forget.....( we could be in the greatest depression, and I would have a gourmet meal for you).

I wonder, GREATLY, how people exist without taking an inner break?

Check out where you are, having nights, or days, to just "be", to contemplate what your goals are, what you will do to make them happen, and if or if not, you are happy with the status quo.

Tonight...........my life, seriously, could not be any better. I really don't even want to express, (which is an oddity in and of itself), the feeling that is overwhelming me.

I don't know how long I have here. Things happen, ya know. Out of the blue, too! I've seen it happen. Why wouldn't it happen to me, if need be?

That is why, I want to get good with myself, in every which way. To make good, to come to terms, to forgive, to forget, to surrender, to heal, and to be happy to see each and every customer that comes to me......... even if I think they are a pain, but really, where I am, I take any and everybody on........no one seems to be a pain, everyone is such a great, great, example, a great comedy, and a great teacher for me, so seriously, if something were to happen to me sooner than later, I'd be really good with myself.

I feel FULL!

Good in my skin, with all of my learning's, with all of my progressions, and every other word that would describe change, personified. CHANGE, CHANGE, CHANGE!

Did someone say, change?

I am charged with life tonight!

I have to go to sleep. Thank God I have off tomorrow.

My charge will have to transpire into a dream............ maybe I will make a dream, of some sort, come true.

Maybe one of my desires will come to fruition.

Maybe I will come up with a way to be a non profit organization to help the kids in Africa, who's parents all died of Aids? Maybe one life will be saved!!!

How nice would that be? Go to a movie, eat dinner out, or save a life for some innocent kid that doesn't know nothin' from nothin............ I've seen it............ I've been there.......and saw what their existence is.............. we cannot go on as spoiled brats.

Who's gonna help me here?

Is there anyone daring enough? Really?? Reach out to me man.............. there is so much to do......... so many lives that need attention............. I'll back you up 100%...... just let me know.

My heart is full........so damn full I could bust..............

My love is eternal................

Thank you for this life full of opportunity.

It is appreciated everyday, every moment.

Me

BREATHE.....YOU ARE ALIVE!

In all of this craziness........whatever your story tells on a daily basis, surely different than mine or the man next door......... we DO HAVE THE CHOICE, to BREATHE............. you know, that thing that we do all day long?

That thing that sustains us? Yea, let's not forget about that OK? After all, where would we be without our breath?

I sat and read a book tonight, that I read to my mother, on her death bed.

This is not to be a sad blog, just factual stuff.

Anyway, I just moved, and am still setting up shop, and tonight, was doing my bookshelves. My sacred, sacred books, the written "scriptures" of any and everything that has been an interest and passion, sit on those book shelves, and I wiped every book clean, and took care of them like they were gold.

Anyway, I found the book that I brought to the ICU unit, when my brothers and sister called me to tell me that it didn't look good for Mom.

I threw my clothes in a suitcase, and gathered anything that meant something to me, just in case she passed. It was a wild couple of hours. As I was showering, this guttural thing came over me, contemplating what could possibly happen? Of course, Mom isn't going to check out??!! Right?

Anyway, I threw my Buddha statue in the suitcase, some significant books, pictures of us 5 kids, and some things that I knew would be close and dear to my mom. I gathered the Cd's that she would love, and on the plane I went.

I don't mean to make this sound so quick and unemotional. Yes, it was quick, and yes, extremely emotional, but my point to this whole thing was not about my mom's death, that really, just came as an after thought, to..............BREATHE YOU ARE ALIVE.

Why?

Well, my Mom did have Emphysema and Asthma, so, breathing was the major issue.

I thought if I brought my book Breathe You are Alive, book by Thich Nhat Hanh, I could read some verses out of it, to her, to maybe just put it out there, that I could give her the Breath of Life, and do some healing exercises, that maybe some God would step in and help me along to save her from whatever it was that was happening for her.

Well, making a long story short, the book made it to her room. I made an altar in her room with my statues, a picture of us 5 kids, Rosary Beads that I bought for her at the Vatican in Rome, and anything that would possibly make for The Gift of Grace to kick in to save this soul's life.

My sister and I stayed in the room, and it was quiet, and Mom was semi sleeping, and we were trying to think of anything to do that was healing, and conducive to the situation that, thrown into, who would have any idea how to handle, but we somehow had the strength of who or what, I don't know, but we came together in such unison, and something came over us, and there was no question as to where to find strength, or courage, or anything, to be present in the moment, to Mom, and to each other, and to what needed to happen for that being, and for us.

We both meditated, and started doing deep breathing exercises while scanning her body with our hands just above her body, to possibly infuse her with our breath, the intensity of our will, to bring life to a body that was ready to check out on us at any moment.

I reached for my book, Breathe, You are Alive, and had marked some pages while I was on the plane, and started reading some chapters to her, and in the meantime, we both were doing the exercises and giving our heart and soul, for lack of better words, to find a ray of light to give.

Even though there was a book, and words written by someone else, there was a mystical happening........... in that room, as my sister and I read, and breathed, for Mom, in hopes that our efforts would help her to stay with us.

It had to be THE MOST SACRED MOMENT IN MY LIFETIME, to be there with my sister, doing this sort of ritual, this healing, standing above our Mother, giving her our all!! We were pillars for her, and for each other, and a life of it's own transpired, without any thought, without any fear, just a strong willed passion to merge with another human being, to give your everything to see if miracles can happen.......... with this person that happened to be our mother.

BREATHE YOU ARE ALIVE, is an amazing book that teaches you, or anyone, the divine gift in staying connected to your breath. Not to take advantage of what we absolutely need everyday, to function, to do any and everything. Without it, we are.........on our death beds.

Don't take your breath for granted. If it is in any way, at risk, you will see how incredibly fortunate we are to have each living breath, inhaling, and exhaling. And.........if you were to witness someone at risk, you will immediately gain an understanding of how incredibly sacred our breath is, and how we spend so much time worrying about this and that, and all the while, all we needed to do was BREATHE, in the moment, and it carries you to where you need to be next, or in that very moment in time.

Get acquainted with your Breath. It breathes YOU............... you need IT!!

Don't take it for granted. It sustains us guys.

BREATHE.........YOU ARE, IN FACT, ALIVE!!!!!!! DON'T MISS OUT ON YOUR ALIVENESS.

Also, in your conscious decision to be aware of your breath, you give life to others, who may need it more than you do.

Stay awake.

Someone may need you too!

Thank you for the opportunity to always share my heart.

I know these are long, but my heart outstretches these small boxes with lettering.

Grateful, beyond belief, nonetheless.

I love you,
Gabriela

SENSUALITY............

.......doesn't necessarily mean, SEXUALITY!

I love talking with people about this subject. It is always interesting to me how people view their thoughts, their feelings, and their body language when it comes to "sensuality".

I am not sure if they are lazy, and think that they are one in the same, or that sensuality is a "girl" thing, or that sensuality must equal, sex, in some way.

No matter the opinion, it is YOURS! ( Oh, that freedom thing again).

To me, sensuality CAN in fact be a part of sexuality, but, by no means, does it stop there!

In fact, for me, it doesn't even begin there.

Sensuality to me is a way of being. A way of feeling passionate about your life, your self, and what is around you. How you perceive your environment, or how you look at the blade of grass that is swaying before your eyes.

Sensuality is feeling your natural, individual, "oats". Your sense of yourself as a human being, an entity, in and of itself. Feeling aroused by nature, by your essence, your bubbled sense of life and what it offers you, and in turn, how you share that with the world.

To me? That is sensual! Sharing your innermost love, gratitude, vulnerability (yes, js, that is correct), and raw self, to get to the core of what is real and true.

Now, am I negating sensuality that comes along with your sexuality? No! Just saying, it really could have little, or nothing to do with it at all! If you let it, is the key. If you let it, and open yourself up to THAT kind of sensuality, you will see that there are more options in your life than you may have imagined. Don't laugh........ it's........well.....it's grand.......

If it does come along with your sexuality, good for you! Kill two birds with one stone, but don't use that as your visual, by all means!

Don't put your essence in a box that says, " sexuality means a physical thing, or being with someone intimately, or any other visual you may have. Think of sensuality as being fully awake and alive in your soul, allowing your most passionate self to move through you, no matter what it is...it could be your job, your hopes, your dreams, your love and zest for life............who knows, but please don't put in a box with sex. FEEL YOURSELF FEEL THAT PASSION THROUGH WHATEVER IT IS AND DON'T FEEL FUNNY..........OR OUT OF PLACE. After all, who said that that one word had to be equated with an act of some sort? Tell me who it is and we'll go have a chat.........or a debate, not sure, I'll let it unfold.

Feel good tonight, feel passionate about............ I don't know, list some things........... and get cozy in those thoughts and revel in them, and make them a fixation like you would a first date. GO FOR YOUR PASSION!

It's funny to me, because if we have a crush, or are interested in someone, it immediately becomes this thing, this fixation, this, "I must have", thing, and it is cute, to me, so child like.

(Quick story) Like when I was in the 4th grade, walking home from school with my "crush", and his mother worked for Hallmark, so we walked home from school, to Hallmark, and we went inside to say hi to his mom, and he pretended like he had garbage to throw away, so he walked outside with a handful of garbage to take to the dumpster, in back of the Hallmark. Of course, I followed. We went to the dumpster, stared at the dumpster, he threw the garbage in, and we stood there, like, OK, is there any more garbage anywhere? Anyone? Garbage? Shall we surf the neighborhood? It was quiet, and we looked around. Hmmm.....

He ran over and kissed my cheek and I pretended he didn't do it. I ran home and so did he.

Cute story, and very memorable, but nonetheless, childlike, and how we should be in all of life!!

I think of him to this day!

What was my point now?

I got caught up in the 4th grade. What a moment in time. I can see and feel that day as if it were today.

Get cozy in your thoughts. Make them like a first date. Get fuzzy with your fixation. It will become more real, and make it your "sensuality". Merge with whatever it is that you want, and feel it to the bone.

That is all I am going to say. The rest is up to you.

We all have our individual ways of making things work. This may be mine. You don't have to adopt it, but........ check it out. Just a bit. See what you think.

You don't have to tell anyone, or me.

I wouldn't steer ya wrong. But........... to each his own.

Tonight..........is utterly sensual, and sure ain't doin' nothin' but hangin' with 4 dogs, a cat, some good smellin' food, and music to break ya wide open.

I'll have a Marlboro Light please!

SLEEP PEACEFULLY

Hopefully at the end of your day, you brush off all that has transpired, you start to unleash all that energy that was pent up, or supressed, and you allow it to go through a filter that will catch all the debri.

After all, it seems only fair that we give that little amount of time for the hell we put ourselves through during the day.

When I say hell, it really doens't mean some grueling thing, althought, s ometimes it could be.

Take some spare moments before bed to reflect on you day, change some things that may be going wrong, or compliment yourself at how awesome of a person you are!

Yes, that would mean, look at yourself in the mirror, and tell yourself YOU ARE OK, and go for it.....really go for it!!

Lemme know how it goes............

PRESENT MOMENT EQUALS FULLY ALIVE

WOW, so many things you think you understand because they have been said over and over again, experienced over and over again, and then, you shop life, buy into this, buy into that, and sometimes, when you are buying just a bit too much, you seem to sell out. You have just sold the very essence of your soul, for "goods".

And, I don't mean clothing or shoes, or food, or luxuries. Of course that would fit into the equation, but what I am talking about is buying into what your head tells you that you should or should not be doing, where or where not you should be, or who with, or with what amount of money, what job is good for you, what you SHOULD be doing, and where, how, and the list perpetuates until you find yourself so wound up in your head that you cannot even enjoy where the hell you are in your life, good, bad, or indifferent, because you just took the most catastrophic ride through the maze of life, called........ your BRAIN!

Where is the life in spending time in such thought? And who are we to believe that we are right in just where we think we need to be?

I am not saying we shouldn't have thoughts about what we would like to do, or who with, or make a plan to do something we love, or want to achieve, but then there is serendipity, or fate, or whatever word fits your own style. There is that timing thing that has nothing to do with us. The mystical reasoning behind how things "just happen". I think if I take that road in expressing myself, I'll wind up going off on a tangent, so let me stay clear here on just what the deal is, the true point.

I know for me, I don't want to miss out on the very things that I love doing, love sharing, and who it may be with, or where, and how, and all of the lovely details. And then I take a look at my life, as it is right now, and say, well, none of those things are happening, and you find yourself in a whirlwind of, "but how do I get there, how can I finagle doing it with this person, or why aren't I doing this NOW, AND THAT NOW? Why do I have to wait? Life is too short, I have to bust a move, make a plan, get things going and be on top of it, or it won't happen.

All of these things are true. No one will help you do the things you want unless you make an effort, BUT.....I know for me, I cannot discount the very things that ARE IN MY LIFE, and what is happening, no matter what it looks like, because somewhere in there, I DID ASK FOR IT, whether it be to be more independent, to be more free, to live more peacefully, more true to who I am, and all of the details that follow. They get subtle, but make sense.

It kind of reminds me of going to school for something you are passionate about, but when it comes to certain tests, and exams, we all of a sudden get bored or are uninterested because we just wanted the end result, not all of this crap in between. Well, reality stands that, you cannot get from A to Z without going through the alphabet right? Unless you are a cheater, and even then, who are you cheating, really, but yourself?

There are gems to be found in the present moment of where you are RIGHT NOW. You may have to do some digging to get to those gems, but trust me, they are there if you give yourself enough quiet time to seek them out. In my experience, if you don't give yourself that quality time to get that quiet, to go on the search for the true gems, you might as well go to the nearest pawn shop and buy some cheap ass gem stone that was refurbished from who knows where, and call it your "gold".

You will never find the real goods by taking the easy way out. It becomes the band aid for life, the proverbial "It's all good" attitude, and under the rug it all goes. Who knows when you'll do a deep clean, ya know what I mean?

If I'm losin' ya........ head to the pawn shop. Cuz this is where it begins. Ask yourself those very questions.

Look. Sometimes, I can say when I dig for my gems, " I'm tired of digging". I wanna play now. And maybe I put the shovel down for awhile and give it a rest, but my soul loves gem stones too, too much to not pick that shovel back up again.

Present moment equalls WHERE YOU ARE NOW, and having an unconditional relationship with it. In all of it's glory, it's pitfalls, it's sadness, pain, suffering, desires, you name the mood. Embrace the present moment and know it is part of your journey for a reason, and it is there to teach you something that you more than likely asked for, it just looks a bit different. But if you do some good ol' diggin', you'll see that it pretty much does equate, in a different kind of way, the very essence of some things you said you wanted, or asked for. Check it out, if you can follow. It gets good, ya know, it's not all that bad. Depends, I've been on all kinds of ends. Some don't feel pretty, but you do look and go, mmmm hhhhmmmm ok, and what gem do we have here today? Can I look through a rose colored glass today? Just for a moment? And ya know what? Sometimes that feels damn good. Have a rest, have glass of wine, a margarhita, and kick up your heels.

Unconditional relationship with oneself. WOW! What a cool thought! How can we attract that if we don't have it for ourselves?

Be OK with the spot you are in, in your life, right now, and let it go. God hears your whispers, your call for exactly what you want. Be with wherever you are, fully, and let go of the "I am not where I want to be" thoughts, and see what happens.

Be easy on yourself, and you will see that you feel lighter, rejuvenated, and inspired, with even more of a passion to move forward and embrace whatever life offers, or what you have created for yourself. Hopefully, it will be a good combination of both, and you will seek to find the gems, and also, the gems will have been glad to FIND YOU!

I am stoked! I'm reading my blog too guys! It's for all of us to share, and to support one another, and to let each other know that we are not alone in our emotions, our journey, our triumphs, or losses. We are here to hold hands and help each other step up to the plate of life. Some of us have huge plates, some small. No one better than the other.

Grab your friends hands and support them and give them your ear. You too will need it at some point.

Share, share, share............... STAY IN THE MOMENT.........FULLY ALIVE, IN ALL OF ITS WONDER AND GLORY, EVEN IF IT DOESN'T LOOK LIKE IT.................it's there for you to cuddle up to, and make a part of you.

The more you understand, the more you smile, and wink at God, for being the perfectionist that he is.

Use your own words to make that work for ya. The essence remains the same.

The World is your Oyster.

Go get the cocktail and crackers.

Too much love to ever express,
Gabriela