I am currently on a mission. One that will be conquered, not because I think I am super woman, (although, this past year, I earned a few good lookin' capes), but because I am willing to throw them to the curbside, if it means I can do some heavy conquering WITHIN.
Sometimes I think that is more strenuous, than saving a man from jumping off of a building, and swinging down on your rope, to save them, and bring them to the streets safely.
You peek inside at one tiny fear, and everyone is ready to commit hairy cary. Go figure!
Those Ghouls and goblins are nuthing to sneeze at ya know.
My mission is to not care how I look, or how it feels, to embrace all of the stuff that needs tending to inside, on all levels, and just take it in stride, and make it an interesting game, instead of dreading it, and wondering how long it will take to get over all of this stuff, that I really do want to shed, and make light of.
And, ya know, some people don't even know they have stuff. I do, only because I am the type of person that wants to see inside Pandora's box, check it out, and see why I am the way I am, or why I attract certain things, that may,or may not work for me. If it doesn't, than why? Is there something I can do to change things up a bit? How is my wording with people? Really, how am I? Do I need to change me, or do I just need to change my perspective, and maybe make a few boundaries here and there, or maybe not show my peace sign so much, and save a few hugs for
someone who gets it?? Who knows. Ya check things out, get some objective advice, and work the details out. I think, then, in the meantime, you just go on with your life and study what you love, do what you love, and be who you are, because, all of those things aren't going to change over night, so you might as well have fun in the midst of, right?
Some great lessons come our way when we look at things dead on, blow it up, so there is no mistake as to what the hell it is, and then dive in. But, as I am learning too, dive in slowly. You don't have to crash to the bottom of the pool, so it feels as if you cracking your head wide open.
Dive slowly and gracefully, and take your time to get to the bottom of things. You can jump, dive, do a cannon ball, but you have the choice to wade in the water for awhile, or just go down slow, and then make your way to the bottom when you feel that you are ready to.
Stay open to objective advice. You'll know it and feel it when it is in front of you. Don't be defensive, especially if someone is being sincere in their approach. What is there to be defensive about anyway? If it is because you will feel stupid, or vulnerable, or not right, or lacking something....whatever the case may be, let that be your work of art too.
So many things will show up. Take your time with everything and do it with much tender care. I know I need to. I'm my own worst critic.
Love yourself first, and then, maybe you'll get the love, back, that you are looking for. I think, though, if we get in relationship with ourselves first, date ourselves for awhile, and see what we are about, intimately, then we can share ourselves in a more clear and conducive way, with someone else, so that our little needy selves, or insecure selves will be secure enough, and objective enough to feel good and solid, so that we can actually REALLY love someone, without needing or wanting anything that would be expected from someone else.
I'm all for dating myself for awhile. At least I'll be good with my sleeping habits, my no snoring, no kicking, dog on the bed, classical music, good food and wine, quiet nights and walks..............MAN, I JUST THINK I MET MY MATCH!!
I think I'll jump back and kiss myself!
Be light about your life.........loosen up. I'm telling myself all of the same things.
There is too much going on good, to be worried about all of the other stuff.
It will all work out.
Have a great night, and look up at the sky tonight. We have been having the most incredible moons............sky is lit up and looks quite mysterious, actually.
All of my heart felt love,
Gabriela
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