I SURPRISE MYSELF......

..........ya know, I talk about this and that, being quiet, subdued, walks, stars, lightning, thunderstorms, great music, meditation, peacefulness, dogs, and all other things that seem to be a main vein in my writings, that make my life work, in a great way.

But, nights like tonight, I crack myself up.

Yes, I am home, with all headings happening. Truly, no lie. But I also am oddly enough, participating in stuff I never thought I would. I mean, you hear me, with the jokes about IPhone, I this, I that, Face book, yada yada.

Well, my friends hooked me up to Face book on Christmas day.

I went over to their house, cooked some good Italian food, and while I was stirring in the kitchen, my friend and her daughters hooked me up........to Face book. I had no clue at the time, what the hell that even was.

Contrary to popular belief, I am, let me say that again, I am............Old Fashioned!! If there is anyone who disagrees, call 1-800 gaboldfashioned!

Trust me.

I am stone age in all senses, especially when it comes to technology. But because my friends want me to stay connected and not get lost in the woods, they hook me up, and now, it is so funny.

After Christmas, I logged on to Face book and was laughing to myself, like, "what the heck am I doing?"

But I was so excited that my little friends that were so pertinent in my life, when I was 6 or 7, and really, great figures, great influences, and just, really, great people, starting showing up.

My crush of all crushes showed up, and we emailed back and forth, and we shared stories about how we felt as young kids.

Then? It was like it is now. Everything a mystery, so huge and drawn out. It is so funny how things never change. Really, they don't!

Joe was the object of my affection for years and years. He made me my first BMX bike, we played tag football, went pool hopping, held hands walking in the neighborhood, ran through the smoke when the mosquito man came around, and talked about life, feelings, and just were the best buds ever. It lasted for years, and he was so cool to me. Not overtly male, and just enough softness to woo me, cuz, even then, don't laugh, it took alot to woo me. Things don't change much.

Anyway. He found me on Face book, or I did, I can't remember.

That was the beginning of me, on Christmas day, last year, trying out the "NEW STUFF", that everyone was talking about, and even then, I was probably outdated.

My friend was like, "Gabriela, You are going to LOVE FACEBOOK, and went on for 2 hours, probably. And me, of course, sat there, saying, "I hate this crap". All she kept saying was, "UUUHHHHH hhhuuuhhhhhh???" We'll see..............

Ok, ok, so you were right! *&#@$@%)(^%%#!!!!

Not only did I connect with Joe, but all of the precious friends that I hung out with. The people that made my childhood memorable. Memorable enough, to tell stories throughout my life, and, might I ad, very significant ones.

I am so proud of many instances of my childhood. Some are great, and I look back and say, "Wow, not many people experience that", and others ......well, are not so grand, but significant, nonetheless, and all, no matter the title, have made me who I am now. And who are responsible for my weekly therapy sessions......hahha...........well, kid you not. Just being honest! And that is not to sound freaky or jaded, just honest, cool, and honorable, to be able to acknowledge the past, and to want to heal. This is yet, another conversation to be had. One that I love.

Is that a good or bad? I think it is all good, that it ALL molds us to who we are today. I don't think, really, that it is a good or bad title. It just is what it is, and you make or mold your life to what feels good, and resonates good within your soul.

As of tonight, I recognize so many amazing people on Face book. My childhood! My great friends that made me laugh, made me cry, and got to see different sides of life, different upbringings, different view points, yet, there I was, at their kitchen table, even then, sitting so different, so on my own, strong, and confident about who I was.

No different than me sitting in the restaurant today, alone, at a table, doing my thing, and watching everyone around me. God, no difference at all. It's scary and cathartic, all at once!

Man, let me just continue this conversation, it is way too intense, too real, and lenghty, by all means, to go on, on and on, to be just a "blog".

I need more time to dig in.

Be open to new possibilities, new beginnings, and new ways of thinking. It will "behoove you".

Let me know.

I'm on fire tonight.

I am truly..........on fire.

This existence is a gamble!

It's sexy, if you can imagine............and just imagine that, without a judgement of what that means............

It is attainable, realistic, and anything you want is available, and right here to grasp.

We are lucky!!

We have the freedom of choice.

Don't act like spoiled children.

Be picky, and know what you want, and then go for it.

I am so right here.

God, I am so right here............... dive in ............... take the plunge............... seek who you are!!

Don't go the "status quo" route............... cuz I'll blow the whistle!!

Just be who you are............. and see how that works for you.

I'll be on the sidelines..

i love u,,
g